May 22, 2025 • 29 mins
This comedic duo brings laughter through their rapid-fire banter and classic routines. Their chemistry and timing have cemented their place in entertainment history.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
See.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Yeah, that's the Avidente Gosfellow program brought to you. Buy Cammel,
the cigarette that's first in the service according to actual
sales records. See if your throat and your taste don't
bake Cambell the first with you two find out for yourself.
Listen to the great rhythms of Freddie Rich in his orchest,
with the swingy singing of Connie Haynes, and that great
(00:35):
statesman from the dun Barton Oaks Conference who.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Said, Hey, hey, Castella, Castella, come in a minute, come here,
will you please?
Speaker 1 (00:53):
What's all the excitement about? What are you so happy about? Oh?
Look at it? What?
Speaker 4 (00:57):
I just got a lot from my cousin, Corporal Hugo Cuss.
He's away over in Africa and he says all the
soldiers in his company are gonna have a white Christmas.
Why you dummy, it's very hot in Africa. How could
the soldiers have a white Christmas? Their cook is gonna
bleach the beans. Costella, it's about time you were thinking
of Christmas?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Do you realize there are only age chopping days left?
You know?
Speaker 4 (01:18):
I just bought I just bought one hundred Christmas eals,
one hundred Christmas.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Sure, for gonna sakes, how are you gonna feed them?
Speaker 5 (01:25):
I love, Costelle?
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Are you going to make much out of Christmas this year?
Am I?
Speaker 6 (01:30):
What are you going to make much out of Christmas
this year?
Speaker 4 (01:33):
I can't tell until I sell the presents I get,
sell your presence?
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Oh sure, rabbit, sure? Talking about I even sold that
electric bed warmer you gave me last year.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
That was no good electric bedwarmer. That was an electric toaster.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
An electric toaster, certainly no way kept turning me over
and throwing me out of bed.
Speaker 4 (01:52):
Well, Costell, I hope you're getting a present from my
wife Betty this year, you know, And I'll give you
a little tip. What she really needs is a new girdle.
What a girdle? Don't you know what a girdle is?
Speaker 6 (02:05):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Sure, a girdle. It it's one of those what is it?
You gotta have it when you have?
Speaker 6 (02:08):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (02:09):
What is it?
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Don't your your sort of yes?
Speaker 6 (02:10):
That I know?
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Come on, you got to what is it?
Speaker 4 (02:13):
It's one of those things that keeps an unhappy situation
from spreading. Yeah, Look what about your own family, Costella?
Speaker 1 (02:20):
What are you going to give your kid brother Sebastian.
Oh him nothing?
Speaker 6 (02:23):
What do you mean?
Speaker 1 (02:23):
I gave him something last year? He didn't like it?
And what did you give him?
Speaker 6 (02:25):
The measles?
Speaker 1 (02:27):
And did he use a rash word?
Speaker 5 (02:28):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (02:29):
Talk sends.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Please listen this year, abbit, you know what I'm gonna do. No,
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
I'm gonna spend all my money on that beautiful girl
who lives next door to me, Ruby Pool.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Cue Wait a minute, Ruby Pool?
Speaker 5 (02:41):
Cue?
Speaker 1 (02:41):
She's beautiful?
Speaker 6 (02:42):
Why she isn't beautiful?
Speaker 4 (02:43):
She's got the worst complexion I ever saw. But she
can't help that abbit. I mean, she got her face
caught in the waffle iron. Now she has to pour
her makeup. I'm with a syrup picture.
Speaker 6 (02:53):
Look, what are you going to buy for Ruby?
Speaker 1 (02:55):
I'm gonna buy a piano? A piano?
Speaker 6 (02:57):
What kind of a piano? Maple, walnut or cherry?
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Well, I'm gonna get a of those kinds. What did
you say? I said, maple walnut, our, cherry, maple wool?
Do you realize what you just said?
Speaker 5 (03:07):
What's wrong?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Sham? Wait wait a minute, Shamon, but take it easy,
take it easy. Front of ten nilesnouncer shame.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
Wait a minute, wall All right, all I said, was maple,
walnut or cherry?
Speaker 1 (03:25):
You go again? I'm glad I found you out. A
what do you mean?
Speaker 6 (03:29):
Now?
Speaker 1 (03:29):
What do you mean?
Speaker 4 (03:30):
You're a spy from the jello profriend p and o?
WHOA not fuchi? I simply asked you the kind of wood?
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Oh, I know about about the wood?
Speaker 5 (03:43):
What the guy a?
Speaker 1 (03:44):
What Pecand did I go around tasting piano?
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Did?
Speaker 1 (03:47):
I asked you that you can.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
Every time I see a pianna, buy it to see
what flavor it is Hostella?
Speaker 1 (03:51):
They make pianos other different kinds of wood.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
My mother lost piano's maple, so she has a genuine
bird's eye.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
I know that she's got an eagle beak to go.
Hell no, never mind my mother in law.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Now you've got a lot of nerves spending your money
on ruby, A girl you hardly know. You never thought
to ask me if I needed money for my Christmas shopping?
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Do you need money out it?
Speaker 6 (04:11):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Well, now, well now that you brought it up, Now
that I've brought.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
It up, well yes you didn't.
Speaker 6 (04:18):
You just ask me if I needed money.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
Ladies and gentlemen, you have just seen what loose talk
can do when it reaches the enemy's ears.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
I've been a will slip with the lip, can't sing
a ship, and I have just been struggled myself. No love, costel.
Speaker 5 (04:31):
All I need is fifty dollars.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
Fifty dollars, yes, Now look, if you lend me fifty dollars,
what security would you want?
Speaker 1 (04:38):
A padlock, a pair of handcuffs and a watchdog?
Speaker 6 (04:40):
No?
Speaker 4 (04:40):
No, and put your mama in a dungeon for secure
and no?
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Whit you off?
Speaker 5 (04:45):
Fat?
Speaker 6 (04:46):
Well?
Speaker 5 (04:46):
I listen.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
The only security I can give you is the word
of an honest man.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Okay, bring him around. I'll see what I can do. Dolls.
Speaker 6 (04:55):
You and I are pals, And to show you how
much I.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
Like you, I'm going to let you lend me the
fifty What happened? All I got my Christmas piggy bank
is forty dollars? Well, all right, give me the forty
dollars and you can owe me either ten.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Okay, here's a forty dollars. Okay, now I owe you ten.
That's right.
Speaker 7 (05:09):
Who wants who?
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Wait a minute, just a minute? Wait? How much did
I ask you for? You asked me for fifty dollars?
And how much did you give me? I gave you all.
I had forty dollars.
Speaker 5 (05:18):
So you owe me ten dollars.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
That's right? Why are you kick it? I let it
go with that, all right? You owe me forty dollars. Stella.
I don't like the way you're hedging on me, and
I don't like the way you're clipping my head. Come on,
give me back my forty dollars. Okay, okay, if that's
the way you feel, I don't want to do business
with a.
Speaker 6 (05:36):
Man like you.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Here's your forty dollars. That's more like.
Speaker 6 (05:39):
Now give me the ten you owe me.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Okay, here's a ten.
Speaker 6 (05:41):
All right.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
I'm paying you on account on account, on a count
I don't know how come I owe it to you?
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Believe me, this is the last time I'll.
Speaker 6 (05:49):
Ever ask you for the loan.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Of fifty dollars. Costell. Look, no, never mind. How can
I lend you fifty dollars?
Speaker 6 (05:55):
Now?
Speaker 4 (05:55):
I only had forty dollars to start with. Now I
only got thirty dollars.
Speaker 6 (06:00):
Well, okay, it'll.
Speaker 5 (06:01):
Make you happy. I'll do you a favor.
Speaker 6 (06:03):
Give me the thirty dollars and you can owe me twenty.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
This is getting worse all the time.
Speaker 6 (06:06):
Wait a minute, hour Somata.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
First, I owe you ten, Now I owe you twenty.
What kind of reckt do is that? Well?
Speaker 6 (06:11):
Why do you urge yourself running to dead?
Speaker 1 (06:12):
I didn't run into it. You'll pushed me, abbitt. Did
you ever hit a story of the forty feet? Yes?
What became of the other of thirty nine?
Speaker 6 (06:22):
Hello?
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Are you the guy that says open? Says to me?
Now listen, I'm surprised I had lived that. Please? Why
I'm I'm just like Santa Claus. You're better than Santa Claus.
Who bet I am? You can give me a sway
right without any rating.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
You know it's never very easy to get serious after
a hilarious to do with Bud and Lou.
Speaker 5 (06:51):
But your choice of a cigarette.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Is so important to your throat and your taste that
I want to take this moment to urge you to
try Camels on your t zone. That's troat and tea
for taste. See how your throat reacts to Camel's cool mildness.
See how your taste enjoys the rich, full flavor of
Camel's magnificent blend of costlier tobaccos.
Speaker 5 (07:11):
You may find that your throat and your.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Taste your tea zone, proclaimed camel, your own personal cigarette.
See yell camels, the cigarette of costlier tobaccos. Here's lovely
Connie Haynes with a Christmas shopper special. So grab your bundles, everybody,
(07:34):
and let's all big.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
A ride on the trolley.
Speaker 8 (07:38):
With my highest Dutch collar and my high top shoes
than my hair a high on my head. I want
to lose a jolly hour upon the trolley and off
my mood.
Speaker 5 (07:51):
Instead.
Speaker 8 (07:52):
With his light brown derby and his price green tie,
he was quite the handsomest of me. I started again
to a count, and damn banner count entertain again. Clang
clang clang, went the trolley. Ding ding ding, went the bell,
(08:19):
zing zing zing with my heart dreams for the moment
I saw him.
Speaker 5 (08:24):
My bell.
Speaker 8 (08:28):
Chug chug chug, went the motor bump, bump, bump, went
the breaks, don't bump dump went my heartstrings. When he smiled,
I could feel but caut He tipped his hat and
took the sea. He said, he you hope he hadn't
stepped upon my feet. He asked my name.
Speaker 5 (08:51):
I held my brain.
Speaker 8 (08:53):
I couldn't speak because he scared me have to death.
But but bud went the buzzer flop flop flop with
the weed. Stop stop stop with my mord stream. As
he started to.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Leave at the world of he cleave with my.
Speaker 7 (09:14):
Hand as iff worklan.
Speaker 8 (09:18):
He said on with me, And it was cramp just
to stand with his hand on the mine.
Speaker 5 (09:25):
Dude, the anna b.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
All right, costella, Come on, let's go downtown to our
Christmas shopping.
Speaker 6 (09:42):
Here comes a street.
Speaker 9 (09:43):
I can't cry clan with the trolley.
Speaker 5 (09:45):
A king, a king, a king of prayer.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Stella, come here.
Speaker 6 (09:49):
You want to get hit, Get out of that. Come
over here, stand here in the safety zone.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
No what in the safety zone. Don't you know why
those safety zones are here? Sure if you can hit
inside the white lions, it don't count. Oh be quiet, please,
here's the trolley now I have it. What look at
the crowd and let's be caught.
Speaker 10 (10:06):
Never mind, go on, shove your way in, Oh young man,
you can't squeeze him.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Hear, okay, babe, let's wait till we get off. You
got your one line, get your dough and get hey,
you fat boy, come on, drop your fair enough box.
Here's the fair conductor, and give us two transfers.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
You won't need transfers. No, then, how we're gonna rude
on next car without a transfer? Just tell the next
conductor at awful sense you? Oh? Oh, that guy's office trolley.
Oh come on, gos sella.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
Let's step back in the confine a seat? I hey,
look out for that man with an umbrella.
Speaker 6 (10:45):
Oh my goodness, what happened?
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Somebody just took my seat?
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Right?
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Hey, you little shot?
Speaker 5 (10:53):
That man?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Can't you reach that strap? I think so? Then? Would
you mind letting go of my daughter? Hey?
Speaker 4 (11:07):
Shouldn't let these tall people on street cars. You shouldn't
bring me on these crowded street cars.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Have it?
Speaker 4 (11:12):
My uncle, Ardie Stebbens, got his eye hurting. This crowded
street car got his eye hurt. Yet he had his
eye on a seat. The fat lady came along and
sat it.
Speaker 6 (11:20):
I asked, all right, look, let's stop this nonsense.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
Here, the car is stopping. Here, let's get off. We're
far enough downtown anyway. Okay, come on, get off, get off,
get off, get off.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
He don't push, don't push, push you get off?
Speaker 6 (11:30):
Hey?
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Have it?
Speaker 4 (11:31):
What there's a pet shot? I think that's when you
get my mother a squirrel for Christmas. She needs a
squirrel to help her do housework? Or how could a
squirrel help her with the housework.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Well, she can tie his tail up and let her
run between the Venetian blinds.
Speaker 6 (11:44):
Uh, don't be silly. Let's go in here the Bingles
department store.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Hey have it have it line?
Speaker 4 (11:52):
Look who's standing there with a carnation in his button hole? Hey,
it's your kid brother, Sebastian. Come here, Sebastian. What are
you doing in Bingles depart a stall?
Speaker 9 (12:00):
I'm a handyman, uncle Bob, and today I'm working as
a floorwalker.
Speaker 6 (12:04):
How can you be a floorwalker?
Speaker 1 (12:05):
You're too little?
Speaker 5 (12:06):
Well, they need a.
Speaker 7 (12:07):
Little guy like me.
Speaker 9 (12:08):
You see when the people block up the aisuse, I
bite him.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
On the leg and keep moving. Castella, Your kid brother
has no business in this stall.
Speaker 6 (12:15):
He should be in school.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Ain't gonna go to school no more, uncle.
Speaker 5 (12:18):
But school is.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Nothing but a racket. School is a rackets Yep.
Speaker 9 (12:21):
The kids do all the work and the teachers get
paid for it. Anyway, I had a fight with my
teacher to fight. Yeah, this morning I held up my
hand and the teacher said.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Sebastian, you won't leave the room and What did you say?
Speaker 9 (12:33):
I said, you don't think I'm standing here chick him
to you?
Speaker 4 (12:37):
Sab let me all right, all right, I can imagine. Listen, Sebastian. Now,
if you don't go back to school, I'm not going
to give you this beautiful animal picture book for Christmas.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Oh God, let me see the animals all and.
Speaker 6 (12:50):
That a pretty nice book, isn't it pretty?
Speaker 1 (12:52):
What's the name of this animal over here?
Speaker 5 (12:54):
Uncle?
Speaker 4 (12:54):
But well you should know the name of that animal,
Sebastian desk. Look at that graceful bobby, the slim legs
and the long answer.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
I don't seem to recognize him.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
Oh come, Sebashi, you know this animal's name here? I'll
make it easy for what does your mother call your father?
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Don't tell me that's a louse, he haven't. I gotta
beat it.
Speaker 5 (13:14):
This comes the manager.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Aren't sure Grundy as a manager, I'm Dandy.
Speaker 5 (13:26):
Ketchel.
Speaker 6 (13:26):
Don't tell me you're the manager of vingals department store that.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
I am that I am, my little man, I'm in
foo charge of the dry goods department about sundry sundraise,
is my dear. Oh well, gentlemen, what can I do
for you here?
Speaker 4 (13:39):
I got some delicious pajamas Forni three dollars, thirty dollars
for Pagina. Look, Kitchell, here's fifteen dollars. Just give me
the top half. I'll shut it to my uncle Mike
Browlin Patterson.
Speaker 6 (13:50):
Oh, Costelly, you can't send just the tops of the pajama.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Oh sure I can. I'll put a car in it
that says Merry Christmas from the ways. Stop. Look, Gosdal,
you've only got bought it.
Speaker 6 (14:00):
And remember you wanted to buy an easy chair for
your father.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Woo woo. And I've got just the easy chair you're
looking at. That's a genuine mo hair. The seat is
covered with mo hair, the back is covered with mo hair.
And he's got our footstool, also covered with mo hair.
Everything is covered with mo hair. I'll bet Mo hasn't
got a hair left in his head. Moo hasn't got it.
(14:25):
That's a sleep wall those Moe's head.
Speaker 4 (14:31):
Look, Hostella, how about that piano you wanted to buy
for your girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Ruby woo who Now you're talking my language. You know
I'm the hatfish in the piano department. The head feet yeah,
I'm a piano two now, Allie.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
You know today, I got a special on a slightly
used playoff piano with three dozen piano roles.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Oh.
Speaker 4 (14:50):
I bought a bunch of those those music rolls last
week and I papered my bedroom walls with him, and
boy were they noisy?
Speaker 5 (14:57):
Noisy?
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Yeah, every time I sneeze the walls played no. It's
the file.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Fire headlines on front pages, cartoons in the magazines, photographs
in the picture publications, all saying the same thing.
Speaker 5 (15:16):
Cigarette shorties.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Well, no need to tell you how many cigarettes are
going overseas and how much more the people on the home.
Speaker 5 (15:23):
Front are smoking these days.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
And so it's inescapable that sometimes your dealer has to
say no camels today. But remember this, Paste it in
your hat and write it in your notebook. Campbell's rich,
full flavor and cool mildness make them worth asking for
the very next time you buy cigarettes. War or piece
Camel is still camel, Yeah, camels the cigarette of costly
(15:48):
or tobaccos. While having and Gus dallow are shopping for
an old fashioned Christmas pretty Rich plays an old fashioned song, whispery.
Speaker 5 (17:52):
That Stella.
Speaker 4 (17:53):
Please, do you realize we've been walking around this car
for over three hours and you haven't bought a thing.
Speaker 5 (17:57):
I can't help it.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
I can't find a piani, and I don't know what
else staking my girl? Well, why don't you buy miss
pool qu a diamond ring? And I can't? I can't.
Speaker 4 (18:06):
I bought her a beautiful diamond ring last year. It
was a beautiful twelve carrot stone. What a sparkler. It
scares me every time she wears it. Are you afraid
she'll lose it? No?
Speaker 1 (18:14):
But if she ever drops it, she'll have seven years
bad luck.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Love.
Speaker 6 (18:18):
Don't be silly, Costello?
Speaker 4 (18:19):
Say have you noticed how bright and and happy and
cheerful all flappers are?
Speaker 1 (18:24):
It should be? Have you have you noticed all us?
Speaker 11 (18:26):
Well, look at that gayety. They're all full of the
spirit of mule time. Yeah, the mule tide is all
mule tide. Mule tide, mule time. You mean mule tide,
I'll tide what no, no, no. But speaking speaking of mules, hey,
here's the shoe department. Now that gives me a very
very bright idea. Why don't you buy your girlfriend a
pair of mules? A pair of what what do you
(18:48):
say to a pair of mules? I say, whoa geteah?
Speaker 5 (18:52):
Man?
Speaker 1 (18:52):
If he's stubborn. I whitn't costella up. I'm talking about
get a yarcky like barey, I put them on and
wit and good?
Speaker 4 (18:58):
All right, look at him, and you listen to me. Please,
I'm talking about a pair of bedroom mules. Oh what
bedroom mules? Bedroom mules?
Speaker 6 (19:05):
Yes, my wife has all kinds of mules in her bedroom.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Red mules, green mules.
Speaker 5 (19:11):
She even has a pair of check and mules.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Abit. Did you see all these different colored mules with
your own eyes?
Speaker 8 (19:16):
What?
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Certainly? Why not?
Speaker 6 (19:18):
I see them every night?
Speaker 1 (19:20):
In fact, I saw them this morning, all the colored mules,
every one of them. Let me smell you up, bread
there you are all.
Speaker 6 (19:26):
Behaved, Look you dummy. Doesn't your mother have mules in
her bedroom?
Speaker 5 (19:30):
No?
Speaker 1 (19:31):
My father is very particular.
Speaker 4 (19:34):
When your mother gets up in the morning. What does
she put on her feet? Conclass that's there?
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Not?
Speaker 4 (19:38):
Ah, please please lo she must have some kind of
m mules up there, two kinds of mules, silk and
felt hell, yes, yes, yes, hasn't your mother felt mules?
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Musser?
Speaker 4 (19:53):
She never touches any kind of animals, oh, especially when
she's cooking.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
No, not a glove.
Speaker 5 (19:58):
Figure about the animals. Please.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
Every woman likes mules. My wife uses a pair of
music around.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
The house in What's the matter? Is she too lazy
to walk? When she gets up in the morning, she
always slips on her mule.
Speaker 4 (20:11):
It's her own fault. Why doesn't she keep my in
the backyard. My wife needs her mules to keep her
feet warm. You mean you all sleep in the same bence, sleep.
Speaker 5 (20:19):
In the same bed.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
My wife keeps her mules under the bed. For goodness sakes,
don't the Port of Health complain.
Speaker 4 (20:27):
Let's get the whole thing here. I am trying to
help you with your Christmas shopping.
Speaker 6 (20:30):
And what do I get?
Speaker 1 (20:31):
A lot of idiotic talk?
Speaker 10 (20:34):
Is there anything I can do for you? We carry
a full line of cosmetics rouge powder, lipstick, face, premin, printing, tissue.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
Glensig Jess you, Jess, you well, it seems kind of tilly,
But if you want to kiss me, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
You're tissing castello.
Speaker 6 (20:51):
This lady is trying to help you.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Yeah, how you stop talking like that.
Speaker 4 (20:57):
To help?
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 12 (20:58):
Let's she try.
Speaker 7 (21:01):
I have some lovely coatumes here. Take a whip of this.
It's called one Night in Paris.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
One other Take a whip for this.
Speaker 5 (21:09):
My goodness, what is there?
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Five days at the racetrack? Goshtella luck, let me handle this.
Speaker 6 (21:18):
Please, look, madam, my friend here is a little confused.
He doesn't know what to get his girl for Christmas.
Speaker 7 (21:23):
Oh well, maybe I can help.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
I wish you would. Please.
Speaker 7 (21:25):
What kind of a complexion does your girlfriend have?
Speaker 5 (21:27):
Is she fair?
Speaker 7 (21:28):
The alpha medium?
Speaker 1 (21:29):
She's speckled?
Speaker 7 (21:33):
Do you mean she has a complexion of an arm?
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Yes, ma'am, hits and all. Well.
Speaker 10 (21:39):
From the description of the girl, I imagine she could
use one of our facial kids, one of.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Your What the lady wants to sell you a kit? Well,
I want to buy a kit for I'm gonna get
married and have kits.
Speaker 5 (21:49):
On my arm.
Speaker 10 (21:51):
Oh no, no, no, you see you don't understand. This
is a beauty kid with full instructions. All your girlfriend
has to do is apply some of this notion. Then
she covers her face with the white of an egg,
some sour cream and a keg and yet or shoot,
don't want Yeah? What happens next morning? She broke out
his biscuits?
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Kiss you.
Speaker 5 (22:14):
Never mind?
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Class ned remarks, Please, silly.
Speaker 7 (22:18):
Silly boy, you tickle me.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
Here we go again. You tickle me, tiss, I will
not please please? Where did I leave?
Speaker 4 (22:33):
Well, crist Look, if you don't buy something pretty soon,
I'm going to walk out.
Speaker 5 (22:36):
And leave you.
Speaker 7 (22:37):
Oh no, just a moment. Boys, Now, how about.
Speaker 5 (22:40):
Something I found that?
Speaker 6 (22:45):
What are you saying?
Speaker 7 (22:45):
I don't want you to get away?
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Now?
Speaker 7 (22:47):
How about something for the young lady's hair?
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Does she have a snoop? Service? She's got a snoop?
Speaker 5 (22:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (22:53):
Well is it a long snooth that hangs down her back?
Speaker 1 (22:56):
No? And she short stood that turns up at the end.
She's a very snooty thing.
Speaker 6 (23:02):
Costella. The lady is talking about your girlfriend's hairdoo.
Speaker 7 (23:05):
Yeah, what's your girlfriend's hairdo?
Speaker 1 (23:08):
What's her hair do? Yeah?
Speaker 7 (23:11):
That's what I said.
Speaker 4 (23:12):
It comes out when she calls me, Costella.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
We're trying to find out how does she how does
she do?
Speaker 5 (23:19):
What does she do with her hair?
Speaker 4 (23:20):
Does she pilot on top of her head or does
she drop her down her neck?
Speaker 1 (23:24):
She just hangs it in a cloth? Oh no, you
don me.
Speaker 6 (23:29):
Some some women look, some women wear buns.
Speaker 5 (23:33):
In their hair, and some have rats rats.
Speaker 6 (23:35):
Yes, yes, my mother had a red in her hair
for years.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
That's no way to talk.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
About your fire Costella. Does miss POOLQ wear her hair
off her face? No, it takes too long to wear
it all. She has to pull it over a sweet Castella.
Speaker 5 (23:51):
That's snow.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
Way to talk about your girlfriend. That's slander, slander, Yes,
don't you.
Speaker 6 (23:55):
Know what slander is?
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Sure? Slander?
Speaker 4 (23:57):
Yeah, tall and skinny and then has nothing to do
with my girl. She's short and fat like me. Only
I'm pretty enough she is.
Speaker 7 (24:04):
Say you say your girl is short and fat. I've
got just a.
Speaker 10 (24:07):
Christmas present for her, a special weight producing machine called
the Melt your belt Away Fat Cabinet.
Speaker 7 (24:13):
There it is, standing right there.
Speaker 6 (24:15):
Nolla, that sounds good.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
How much did your girl weigh two hundred and forty
pounds with her girdle on? Well?
Speaker 7 (24:19):
How much does she weigh with the door?
Speaker 1 (24:21):
I don't know. She's never been able to get it off.
Speaker 10 (24:25):
Well, now, this machine will take your girl's fat off.
If you don't believe it, get into the machine and
try it yourself.
Speaker 6 (24:30):
No, that's fair enough, that's fair enough.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Long I want to get it.
Speaker 4 (24:33):
I get it into the machine, and then I said,
I don't want to get right out if it works,
and get in there, get in there.
Speaker 7 (24:40):
Now, that's a good boy.
Speaker 10 (24:42):
Now we'll turn on the machine and you'll see how
it melts.
Speaker 7 (24:45):
The fat away.
Speaker 5 (24:46):
You know.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Castello, Castello, where are you?
Speaker 5 (25:03):
Speak to me?
Speaker 1 (25:04):
Castello? Where are you? I'm right here, rabbit, But all
I see.
Speaker 5 (25:07):
Is a little puddle of water.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Don't step in it.
Speaker 5 (25:10):
It's me Heaven. Costella will be back in just a moment.
Speaker 12 (25:24):
Thanks to the Yanks of the Week, Tonight, we salute
Sergeant Benjamin F. Lambert of Vashbura, North Carolina, awarded the
Silver Star for his gallantry and action in Italy. In
one mission, he is credited with killing twenty five Nazis,
wounding five more, and scattering the rest in confusion. In
your honor, Sergeant Lambert, the makers of Camels are sending
(25:44):
to our fighters overseas four hundred thousand the Camels cigarette.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Each of the three Camel radio shows honors the Yank
of the Week by sending free four hundred thousand Camel
cigarettes overseas, a total of more than a million Cammel
sent free each week in this country. The Camel caravans,
traveling from camp to camp have thanked audiences of more
than four million.
Speaker 5 (26:08):
Yanks with free shows and free Cammels.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
Camel broadcasts go out to the United States three times
a week, a rebroadcast to our men overseas and to
South America.
Speaker 5 (26:17):
Listen tomorrow to Jimmy.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Durranty and Gary Moore, Monday to Bob Hawk in Thanks
to the Yanks, and next Thursday to Abbott and Costello.
Speaker 5 (26:25):
And now here are.
Speaker 4 (26:26):
Button, Lou with the final word, Well, Castello, you want
presents for everybody?
Speaker 1 (26:31):
I hope you're very, very happy, Abbot, I could be
a lot happier. Oh if I was only a nurse.
I eer a nurse, That's right.
Speaker 6 (26:38):
What would you do if you were a nurse?
Speaker 1 (26:40):
You know, Abbott? I read in a paper to day
that's some urgent need for more army nurses. Oh yes, yes,
I know about that.
Speaker 4 (26:46):
And do you know, Lou, that any nurse who enters
the Army Nurse Corps now will enter with the rank
of second lieutenant and there's ample opportunity for advancement.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
You know.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
I hope that all the nurses that are listening in
tonight will join the Army Nurse Corps and get their
country the best Christmas present of all.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Yes, girls, right immediately to the Surgeon General United States Army, Washington, DC,
or call it your nearest Red Cross chapters.
Speaker 5 (27:10):
Good Night, folks, good night.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Good night everybody. And I hope command go halto Hel's
much better?
Speaker 12 (27:17):
Can I sell everybody in Parison?
Speaker 2 (27:33):
We's here to tune there next week for another great
Ammad and Costello show. And remember, try Camel's on your
throat and your taste. See for yourself. Are Camel's mildness,
coolness and flavor click with you. Here's a Christmas gift
(28:03):
that will bring the man who gets it a lot
of pleasure long after Christmas is over a generous pound
or half pound package of Prince Albert's smoking tobacco with
the bright Holiday band. Every time he packs and lights
his favorite pipe with this favorite tobacco, he will think
of your thoughtfulness. His taste will thank you for the full, rich,
yet mild flavor. His tongue will thank you for Prince
(28:23):
Albert's gentleness due to the no bite treatment. Another thing
men like about Prince Albert.
Speaker 13 (28:28):
Is the crimp cut, which guarantees perfect packing, smooth drawing,
and even burning right down to the last puff. You
really make a pipe smoker's Christmas merry when you give
him Prince Albert Tobacco. The Avenue Castello Show for Camel
(28:56):
cigarettes will be back in this very same time next week.
Speaker 5 (28:59):
Don't mess.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
It is Can Niles in Hollywood, wishing you all a
pleasant good night.
Speaker 6 (29:09):
This is the National Broadcasting Company.
See.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Yeah, that's the Avidente Gosfellow program brought to you. Buy Cammel,
the cigarette that's first in the service according to actual
sales records. See if your throat and your taste don't
bake Cambell the first with you two find out for yourself.
Listen to the great rhythms of Freddie Rich in his orchest,
with the swingy singing of Connie Haynes, and that great
(00:35):
statesman from the dun Barton Oaks Conference who.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Said, Hey, hey, Castella, Castella, come in a minute, come here,
will you please?
Speaker 1 (00:53):
What's all the excitement about? What are you so happy about? Oh?
Look at it? What?
Speaker 4 (00:57):
I just got a lot from my cousin, Corporal Hugo Cuss.
He's away over in Africa and he says all the
soldiers in his company are gonna have a white Christmas.
Why you dummy, it's very hot in Africa. How could
the soldiers have a white Christmas? Their cook is gonna
bleach the beans. Costella, it's about time you were thinking
of Christmas?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Do you realize there are only age chopping days left?
You know?
Speaker 4 (01:18):
I just bought I just bought one hundred Christmas eals,
one hundred Christmas.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Sure, for gonna sakes, how are you gonna feed them?
Speaker 5 (01:25):
I love, Costelle?
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Are you going to make much out of Christmas this year?
Am I?
Speaker 6 (01:30):
What are you going to make much out of Christmas
this year?
Speaker 4 (01:33):
I can't tell until I sell the presents I get,
sell your presence?
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Oh sure, rabbit, sure? Talking about I even sold that
electric bed warmer you gave me last year.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
That was no good electric bedwarmer. That was an electric toaster.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
An electric toaster, certainly no way kept turning me over
and throwing me out of bed.
Speaker 4 (01:52):
Well, Costell, I hope you're getting a present from my
wife Betty this year, you know, And I'll give you
a little tip. What she really needs is a new girdle.
What a girdle? Don't you know what a girdle is?
Speaker 6 (02:05):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Sure, a girdle. It it's one of those what is it?
You gotta have it when you have?
Speaker 6 (02:08):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (02:09):
What is it?
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Don't your your sort of yes?
Speaker 6 (02:10):
That I know?
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Come on, you got to what is it?
Speaker 4 (02:13):
It's one of those things that keeps an unhappy situation
from spreading. Yeah, Look what about your own family, Costella?
Speaker 1 (02:20):
What are you going to give your kid brother Sebastian.
Oh him nothing?
Speaker 6 (02:23):
What do you mean?
Speaker 1 (02:23):
I gave him something last year? He didn't like it?
And what did you give him?
Speaker 6 (02:25):
The measles?
Speaker 1 (02:27):
And did he use a rash word?
Speaker 5 (02:28):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (02:29):
Talk sends.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Please listen this year, abbit, you know what I'm gonna do. No,
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
I'm gonna spend all my money on that beautiful girl
who lives next door to me, Ruby Pool.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Cue Wait a minute, Ruby Pool?
Speaker 5 (02:41):
Cue?
Speaker 1 (02:41):
She's beautiful?
Speaker 6 (02:42):
Why she isn't beautiful?
Speaker 4 (02:43):
She's got the worst complexion I ever saw. But she
can't help that abbit. I mean, she got her face
caught in the waffle iron. Now she has to pour
her makeup. I'm with a syrup picture.
Speaker 6 (02:53):
Look, what are you going to buy for Ruby?
Speaker 1 (02:55):
I'm gonna buy a piano? A piano?
Speaker 6 (02:57):
What kind of a piano? Maple, walnut or cherry?
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Well, I'm gonna get a of those kinds. What did
you say? I said, maple walnut, our, cherry, maple wool?
Do you realize what you just said?
Speaker 5 (03:07):
What's wrong?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Sham? Wait wait a minute, Shamon, but take it easy,
take it easy. Front of ten nilesnouncer shame.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
Wait a minute, wall All right, all I said, was maple,
walnut or cherry?
Speaker 1 (03:25):
You go again? I'm glad I found you out. A
what do you mean?
Speaker 6 (03:29):
Now?
Speaker 1 (03:29):
What do you mean?
Speaker 4 (03:30):
You're a spy from the jello profriend p and o?
WHOA not fuchi? I simply asked you the kind of wood?
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Oh, I know about about the wood?
Speaker 5 (03:43):
What the guy a?
Speaker 1 (03:44):
What Pecand did I go around tasting piano?
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Did?
Speaker 1 (03:47):
I asked you that you can.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
Every time I see a pianna, buy it to see
what flavor it is Hostella?
Speaker 1 (03:51):
They make pianos other different kinds of wood.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
My mother lost piano's maple, so she has a genuine
bird's eye.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
I know that she's got an eagle beak to go.
Hell no, never mind my mother in law.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Now you've got a lot of nerves spending your money
on ruby, A girl you hardly know. You never thought
to ask me if I needed money for my Christmas shopping?
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Do you need money out it?
Speaker 6 (04:11):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Well, now, well now that you brought it up, Now
that I've brought.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
It up, well yes you didn't.
Speaker 6 (04:18):
You just ask me if I needed money.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
Ladies and gentlemen, you have just seen what loose talk
can do when it reaches the enemy's ears.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
I've been a will slip with the lip, can't sing
a ship, and I have just been struggled myself. No love, costel.
Speaker 5 (04:31):
All I need is fifty dollars.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
Fifty dollars, yes, Now look, if you lend me fifty dollars,
what security would you want?
Speaker 1 (04:38):
A padlock, a pair of handcuffs and a watchdog?
Speaker 6 (04:40):
No?
Speaker 4 (04:40):
No, and put your mama in a dungeon for secure
and no?
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Whit you off?
Speaker 5 (04:45):
Fat?
Speaker 6 (04:46):
Well?
Speaker 5 (04:46):
I listen.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
The only security I can give you is the word
of an honest man.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Okay, bring him around. I'll see what I can do. Dolls.
Speaker 6 (04:55):
You and I are pals, And to show you how
much I.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
Like you, I'm going to let you lend me the
fifty What happened? All I got my Christmas piggy bank
is forty dollars? Well, all right, give me the forty
dollars and you can owe me either ten.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Okay, here's a forty dollars. Okay, now I owe you ten.
That's right.
Speaker 7 (05:09):
Who wants who?
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Wait a minute, just a minute? Wait? How much did
I ask you for? You asked me for fifty dollars?
And how much did you give me? I gave you all.
I had forty dollars.
Speaker 5 (05:18):
So you owe me ten dollars.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
That's right? Why are you kick it? I let it
go with that, all right? You owe me forty dollars. Stella.
I don't like the way you're hedging on me, and
I don't like the way you're clipping my head. Come on,
give me back my forty dollars. Okay, okay, if that's
the way you feel, I don't want to do business
with a.
Speaker 6 (05:36):
Man like you.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Here's your forty dollars. That's more like.
Speaker 6 (05:39):
Now give me the ten you owe me.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Okay, here's a ten.
Speaker 6 (05:41):
All right.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
I'm paying you on account on account, on a count
I don't know how come I owe it to you?
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Believe me, this is the last time I'll.
Speaker 6 (05:49):
Ever ask you for the loan.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Of fifty dollars. Costell. Look, no, never mind. How can
I lend you fifty dollars?
Speaker 6 (05:55):
Now?
Speaker 4 (05:55):
I only had forty dollars to start with. Now I
only got thirty dollars.
Speaker 6 (06:00):
Well, okay, it'll.
Speaker 5 (06:01):
Make you happy. I'll do you a favor.
Speaker 6 (06:03):
Give me the thirty dollars and you can owe me twenty.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
This is getting worse all the time.
Speaker 6 (06:06):
Wait a minute, hour Somata.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
First, I owe you ten, Now I owe you twenty.
What kind of reckt do is that? Well?
Speaker 6 (06:11):
Why do you urge yourself running to dead?
Speaker 1 (06:12):
I didn't run into it. You'll pushed me, abbitt. Did
you ever hit a story of the forty feet? Yes?
What became of the other of thirty nine?
Speaker 6 (06:22):
Hello?
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Are you the guy that says open? Says to me?
Now listen, I'm surprised I had lived that. Please? Why
I'm I'm just like Santa Claus. You're better than Santa Claus.
Who bet I am? You can give me a sway
right without any rating.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
You know it's never very easy to get serious after
a hilarious to do with Bud and Lou.
Speaker 5 (06:51):
But your choice of a cigarette.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Is so important to your throat and your taste that
I want to take this moment to urge you to
try Camels on your t zone. That's troat and tea
for taste. See how your throat reacts to Camel's cool mildness.
See how your taste enjoys the rich, full flavor of
Camel's magnificent blend of costlier tobaccos.
Speaker 5 (07:11):
You may find that your throat and your.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Taste your tea zone, proclaimed camel, your own personal cigarette.
See yell camels, the cigarette of costlier tobaccos. Here's lovely
Connie Haynes with a Christmas shopper special. So grab your bundles, everybody,
(07:34):
and let's all big.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
A ride on the trolley.
Speaker 8 (07:38):
With my highest Dutch collar and my high top shoes
than my hair a high on my head. I want
to lose a jolly hour upon the trolley and off
my mood.
Speaker 5 (07:51):
Instead.
Speaker 8 (07:52):
With his light brown derby and his price green tie,
he was quite the handsomest of me. I started again
to a count, and damn banner count entertain again. Clang
clang clang, went the trolley. Ding ding ding, went the bell,
(08:19):
zing zing zing with my heart dreams for the moment
I saw him.
Speaker 5 (08:24):
My bell.
Speaker 8 (08:28):
Chug chug chug, went the motor bump, bump, bump, went
the breaks, don't bump dump went my heartstrings. When he smiled,
I could feel but caut He tipped his hat and
took the sea. He said, he you hope he hadn't
stepped upon my feet. He asked my name.
Speaker 5 (08:51):
I held my brain.
Speaker 8 (08:53):
I couldn't speak because he scared me have to death.
But but bud went the buzzer flop flop flop with
the weed. Stop stop stop with my mord stream. As
he started to.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Leave at the world of he cleave with my.
Speaker 7 (09:14):
Hand as iff worklan.
Speaker 8 (09:18):
He said on with me, And it was cramp just
to stand with his hand on the mine.
Speaker 5 (09:25):
Dude, the anna b.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
All right, costella, Come on, let's go downtown to our
Christmas shopping.
Speaker 6 (09:42):
Here comes a street.
Speaker 9 (09:43):
I can't cry clan with the trolley.
Speaker 5 (09:45):
A king, a king, a king of prayer.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Stella, come here.
Speaker 6 (09:49):
You want to get hit, Get out of that. Come
over here, stand here in the safety zone.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
No what in the safety zone. Don't you know why
those safety zones are here? Sure if you can hit
inside the white lions, it don't count. Oh be quiet, please,
here's the trolley now I have it. What look at
the crowd and let's be caught.
Speaker 10 (10:06):
Never mind, go on, shove your way in, Oh young man,
you can't squeeze him.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Hear, okay, babe, let's wait till we get off. You
got your one line, get your dough and get hey,
you fat boy, come on, drop your fair enough box.
Here's the fair conductor, and give us two transfers.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
You won't need transfers. No, then, how we're gonna rude
on next car without a transfer? Just tell the next
conductor at awful sense you? Oh? Oh, that guy's office trolley.
Oh come on, gos sella.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
Let's step back in the confine a seat? I hey,
look out for that man with an umbrella.
Speaker 6 (10:45):
Oh my goodness, what happened?
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Somebody just took my seat?
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Right?
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Hey, you little shot?
Speaker 5 (10:53):
That man?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Can't you reach that strap? I think so? Then? Would
you mind letting go of my daughter? Hey?
Speaker 4 (11:07):
Shouldn't let these tall people on street cars. You shouldn't
bring me on these crowded street cars.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Have it?
Speaker 4 (11:12):
My uncle, Ardie Stebbens, got his eye hurting. This crowded
street car got his eye hurt. Yet he had his
eye on a seat. The fat lady came along and
sat it.
Speaker 6 (11:20):
I asked, all right, look, let's stop this nonsense.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
Here, the car is stopping. Here, let's get off. We're
far enough downtown anyway. Okay, come on, get off, get off,
get off, get off.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
He don't push, don't push, push you get off?
Speaker 6 (11:30):
Hey?
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Have it?
Speaker 4 (11:31):
What there's a pet shot? I think that's when you
get my mother a squirrel for Christmas. She needs a
squirrel to help her do housework? Or how could a
squirrel help her with the housework.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Well, she can tie his tail up and let her
run between the Venetian blinds.
Speaker 6 (11:44):
Uh, don't be silly. Let's go in here the Bingles
department store.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Hey have it have it line?
Speaker 4 (11:52):
Look who's standing there with a carnation in his button hole? Hey,
it's your kid brother, Sebastian. Come here, Sebastian. What are
you doing in Bingles depart a stall?
Speaker 9 (12:00):
I'm a handyman, uncle Bob, and today I'm working as
a floorwalker.
Speaker 6 (12:04):
How can you be a floorwalker?
Speaker 1 (12:05):
You're too little?
Speaker 5 (12:06):
Well, they need a.
Speaker 7 (12:07):
Little guy like me.
Speaker 9 (12:08):
You see when the people block up the aisuse, I
bite him.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
On the leg and keep moving. Castella, Your kid brother
has no business in this stall.
Speaker 6 (12:15):
He should be in school.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Ain't gonna go to school no more, uncle.
Speaker 5 (12:18):
But school is.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Nothing but a racket. School is a rackets Yep.
Speaker 9 (12:21):
The kids do all the work and the teachers get
paid for it. Anyway, I had a fight with my
teacher to fight. Yeah, this morning I held up my
hand and the teacher said.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Sebastian, you won't leave the room and What did you say?
Speaker 9 (12:33):
I said, you don't think I'm standing here chick him
to you?
Speaker 4 (12:37):
Sab let me all right, all right, I can imagine. Listen, Sebastian. Now,
if you don't go back to school, I'm not going
to give you this beautiful animal picture book for Christmas.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Oh God, let me see the animals all and.
Speaker 6 (12:50):
That a pretty nice book, isn't it pretty?
Speaker 1 (12:52):
What's the name of this animal over here?
Speaker 5 (12:54):
Uncle?
Speaker 4 (12:54):
But well you should know the name of that animal,
Sebastian desk. Look at that graceful bobby, the slim legs
and the long answer.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
I don't seem to recognize him.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
Oh come, Sebashi, you know this animal's name here? I'll
make it easy for what does your mother call your father?
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Don't tell me that's a louse, he haven't. I gotta
beat it.
Speaker 5 (13:14):
This comes the manager.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Aren't sure Grundy as a manager, I'm Dandy.
Speaker 5 (13:26):
Ketchel.
Speaker 6 (13:26):
Don't tell me you're the manager of vingals department store that.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
I am that I am, my little man, I'm in
foo charge of the dry goods department about sundry sundraise,
is my dear. Oh well, gentlemen, what can I do
for you here?
Speaker 4 (13:39):
I got some delicious pajamas Forni three dollars, thirty dollars
for Pagina. Look, Kitchell, here's fifteen dollars. Just give me
the top half. I'll shut it to my uncle Mike
Browlin Patterson.
Speaker 6 (13:50):
Oh, Costelly, you can't send just the tops of the pajama.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Oh sure I can. I'll put a car in it
that says Merry Christmas from the ways. Stop. Look, Gosdal,
you've only got bought it.
Speaker 6 (14:00):
And remember you wanted to buy an easy chair for
your father.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Woo woo. And I've got just the easy chair you're
looking at. That's a genuine mo hair. The seat is
covered with mo hair, the back is covered with mo hair.
And he's got our footstool, also covered with mo hair.
Everything is covered with mo hair. I'll bet Mo hasn't
got a hair left in his head. Moo hasn't got it.
(14:25):
That's a sleep wall those Moe's head.
Speaker 4 (14:31):
Look, Hostella, how about that piano you wanted to buy
for your girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Ruby woo who Now you're talking my language. You know
I'm the hatfish in the piano department. The head feet yeah,
I'm a piano two now, Allie.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
You know today, I got a special on a slightly
used playoff piano with three dozen piano roles.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Oh.
Speaker 4 (14:50):
I bought a bunch of those those music rolls last
week and I papered my bedroom walls with him, and
boy were they noisy?
Speaker 5 (14:57):
Noisy?
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Yeah, every time I sneeze the walls played no. It's
the file.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Fire headlines on front pages, cartoons in the magazines, photographs
in the picture publications, all saying the same thing.
Speaker 5 (15:16):
Cigarette shorties.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Well, no need to tell you how many cigarettes are
going overseas and how much more the people on the home.
Speaker 5 (15:23):
Front are smoking these days.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
And so it's inescapable that sometimes your dealer has to
say no camels today. But remember this, Paste it in
your hat and write it in your notebook. Campbell's rich,
full flavor and cool mildness make them worth asking for
the very next time you buy cigarettes. War or piece
Camel is still camel, Yeah, camels the cigarette of costly
(15:48):
or tobaccos. While having and Gus dallow are shopping for
an old fashioned Christmas pretty Rich plays an old fashioned song, whispery.
Speaker 5 (17:52):
That Stella.
Speaker 4 (17:53):
Please, do you realize we've been walking around this car
for over three hours and you haven't bought a thing.
Speaker 5 (17:57):
I can't help it.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
I can't find a piani, and I don't know what
else staking my girl? Well, why don't you buy miss
pool qu a diamond ring? And I can't? I can't.
Speaker 4 (18:06):
I bought her a beautiful diamond ring last year. It
was a beautiful twelve carrot stone. What a sparkler. It
scares me every time she wears it. Are you afraid
she'll lose it? No?
Speaker 1 (18:14):
But if she ever drops it, she'll have seven years
bad luck.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Love.
Speaker 6 (18:18):
Don't be silly, Costello?
Speaker 4 (18:19):
Say have you noticed how bright and and happy and
cheerful all flappers are?
Speaker 1 (18:24):
It should be? Have you have you noticed all us?
Speaker 11 (18:26):
Well, look at that gayety. They're all full of the
spirit of mule time. Yeah, the mule tide is all
mule tide. Mule tide, mule time. You mean mule tide,
I'll tide what no, no, no. But speaking speaking of mules, hey,
here's the shoe department. Now that gives me a very
very bright idea. Why don't you buy your girlfriend a
pair of mules? A pair of what what do you
(18:48):
say to a pair of mules? I say, whoa geteah?
Speaker 5 (18:52):
Man?
Speaker 1 (18:52):
If he's stubborn. I whitn't costella up. I'm talking about
get a yarcky like barey, I put them on and
wit and good?
Speaker 4 (18:58):
All right, look at him, and you listen to me. Please,
I'm talking about a pair of bedroom mules. Oh what
bedroom mules? Bedroom mules?
Speaker 6 (19:05):
Yes, my wife has all kinds of mules in her bedroom.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Red mules, green mules.
Speaker 5 (19:11):
She even has a pair of check and mules.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Abit. Did you see all these different colored mules with
your own eyes?
Speaker 8 (19:16):
What?
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Certainly? Why not?
Speaker 6 (19:18):
I see them every night?
Speaker 1 (19:20):
In fact, I saw them this morning, all the colored mules,
every one of them. Let me smell you up, bread
there you are all.
Speaker 6 (19:26):
Behaved, Look you dummy. Doesn't your mother have mules in
her bedroom?
Speaker 5 (19:30):
No?
Speaker 1 (19:31):
My father is very particular.
Speaker 4 (19:34):
When your mother gets up in the morning. What does
she put on her feet? Conclass that's there?
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Not?
Speaker 4 (19:38):
Ah, please please lo she must have some kind of
m mules up there, two kinds of mules, silk and
felt hell, yes, yes, yes, hasn't your mother felt mules?
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Musser?
Speaker 4 (19:53):
She never touches any kind of animals, oh, especially when
she's cooking.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
No, not a glove.
Speaker 5 (19:58):
Figure about the animals. Please.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
Every woman likes mules. My wife uses a pair of
music around.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
The house in What's the matter? Is she too lazy
to walk? When she gets up in the morning, she
always slips on her mule.
Speaker 4 (20:11):
It's her own fault. Why doesn't she keep my in
the backyard. My wife needs her mules to keep her
feet warm. You mean you all sleep in the same bence, sleep.
Speaker 5 (20:19):
In the same bed.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
My wife keeps her mules under the bed. For goodness sakes,
don't the Port of Health complain.
Speaker 4 (20:27):
Let's get the whole thing here. I am trying to
help you with your Christmas shopping.
Speaker 6 (20:30):
And what do I get?
Speaker 1 (20:31):
A lot of idiotic talk?
Speaker 10 (20:34):
Is there anything I can do for you? We carry
a full line of cosmetics rouge powder, lipstick, face, premin, printing, tissue.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
Glensig Jess you, Jess, you well, it seems kind of tilly,
But if you want to kiss me, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
You're tissing castello.
Speaker 6 (20:51):
This lady is trying to help you.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Yeah, how you stop talking like that.
Speaker 4 (20:57):
To help?
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 12 (20:58):
Let's she try.
Speaker 7 (21:01):
I have some lovely coatumes here. Take a whip of this.
It's called one Night in Paris.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
One other Take a whip for this.
Speaker 5 (21:09):
My goodness, what is there?
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Five days at the racetrack? Goshtella luck, let me handle this.
Speaker 6 (21:18):
Please, look, madam, my friend here is a little confused.
He doesn't know what to get his girl for Christmas.
Speaker 7 (21:23):
Oh well, maybe I can help.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
I wish you would. Please.
Speaker 7 (21:25):
What kind of a complexion does your girlfriend have?
Speaker 5 (21:27):
Is she fair?
Speaker 7 (21:28):
The alpha medium?
Speaker 1 (21:29):
She's speckled?
Speaker 7 (21:33):
Do you mean she has a complexion of an arm?
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Yes, ma'am, hits and all. Well.
Speaker 10 (21:39):
From the description of the girl, I imagine she could
use one of our facial kids, one of.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Your What the lady wants to sell you a kit? Well,
I want to buy a kit for I'm gonna get
married and have kits.
Speaker 5 (21:49):
On my arm.
Speaker 10 (21:51):
Oh no, no, no, you see you don't understand. This
is a beauty kid with full instructions. All your girlfriend
has to do is apply some of this notion. Then
she covers her face with the white of an egg,
some sour cream and a keg and yet or shoot,
don't want Yeah? What happens next morning? She broke out
his biscuits?
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Kiss you.
Speaker 5 (22:14):
Never mind?
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Class ned remarks, Please, silly.
Speaker 7 (22:18):
Silly boy, you tickle me.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
Here we go again. You tickle me, tiss, I will
not please please? Where did I leave?
Speaker 4 (22:33):
Well, crist Look, if you don't buy something pretty soon,
I'm going to walk out.
Speaker 5 (22:36):
And leave you.
Speaker 7 (22:37):
Oh no, just a moment. Boys, Now, how about.
Speaker 5 (22:40):
Something I found that?
Speaker 6 (22:45):
What are you saying?
Speaker 7 (22:45):
I don't want you to get away?
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Now?
Speaker 7 (22:47):
How about something for the young lady's hair?
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Does she have a snoop? Service? She's got a snoop?
Speaker 5 (22:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (22:53):
Well is it a long snooth that hangs down her back?
Speaker 1 (22:56):
No? And she short stood that turns up at the end.
She's a very snooty thing.
Speaker 6 (23:02):
Costella. The lady is talking about your girlfriend's hairdoo.
Speaker 7 (23:05):
Yeah, what's your girlfriend's hairdo?
Speaker 1 (23:08):
What's her hair do? Yeah?
Speaker 7 (23:11):
That's what I said.
Speaker 4 (23:12):
It comes out when she calls me, Costella.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
We're trying to find out how does she how does
she do?
Speaker 5 (23:19):
What does she do with her hair?
Speaker 4 (23:20):
Does she pilot on top of her head or does
she drop her down her neck?
Speaker 1 (23:24):
She just hangs it in a cloth? Oh no, you
don me.
Speaker 6 (23:29):
Some some women look, some women wear buns.
Speaker 5 (23:33):
In their hair, and some have rats rats.
Speaker 6 (23:35):
Yes, yes, my mother had a red in her hair
for years.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
That's no way to talk.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
About your fire Costella. Does miss POOLQ wear her hair
off her face? No, it takes too long to wear
it all. She has to pull it over a sweet Castella.
Speaker 5 (23:51):
That's snow.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
Way to talk about your girlfriend. That's slander, slander, Yes,
don't you.
Speaker 6 (23:55):
Know what slander is?
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Sure? Slander?
Speaker 4 (23:57):
Yeah, tall and skinny and then has nothing to do
with my girl. She's short and fat like me. Only
I'm pretty enough she is.
Speaker 7 (24:04):
Say you say your girl is short and fat. I've
got just a.
Speaker 10 (24:07):
Christmas present for her, a special weight producing machine called
the Melt your belt Away Fat Cabinet.
Speaker 7 (24:13):
There it is, standing right there.
Speaker 6 (24:15):
Nolla, that sounds good.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
How much did your girl weigh two hundred and forty
pounds with her girdle on? Well?
Speaker 7 (24:19):
How much does she weigh with the door?
Speaker 1 (24:21):
I don't know. She's never been able to get it off.
Speaker 10 (24:25):
Well, now, this machine will take your girl's fat off.
If you don't believe it, get into the machine and
try it yourself.
Speaker 6 (24:30):
No, that's fair enough, that's fair enough.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Long I want to get it.
Speaker 4 (24:33):
I get it into the machine, and then I said,
I don't want to get right out if it works,
and get in there, get in there.
Speaker 7 (24:40):
Now, that's a good boy.
Speaker 10 (24:42):
Now we'll turn on the machine and you'll see how
it melts.
Speaker 7 (24:45):
The fat away.
Speaker 5 (24:46):
You know.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Castello, Castello, where are you?
Speaker 5 (25:03):
Speak to me?
Speaker 1 (25:04):
Castello? Where are you? I'm right here, rabbit, But all
I see.
Speaker 5 (25:07):
Is a little puddle of water.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Don't step in it.
Speaker 5 (25:10):
It's me Heaven. Costella will be back in just a moment.
Speaker 12 (25:24):
Thanks to the Yanks of the Week, Tonight, we salute
Sergeant Benjamin F. Lambert of Vashbura, North Carolina, awarded the
Silver Star for his gallantry and action in Italy. In
one mission, he is credited with killing twenty five Nazis,
wounding five more, and scattering the rest in confusion. In
your honor, Sergeant Lambert, the makers of Camels are sending
(25:44):
to our fighters overseas four hundred thousand the Camels cigarette.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Each of the three Camel radio shows honors the Yank
of the Week by sending free four hundred thousand Camel
cigarettes overseas, a total of more than a million Cammel
sent free each week in this country. The Camel caravans,
traveling from camp to camp have thanked audiences of more
than four million.
Speaker 5 (26:08):
Yanks with free shows and free Cammels.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
Camel broadcasts go out to the United States three times
a week, a rebroadcast to our men overseas and to
South America.
Speaker 5 (26:17):
Listen tomorrow to Jimmy.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Durranty and Gary Moore, Monday to Bob Hawk in Thanks
to the Yanks, and next Thursday to Abbott and Costello.
Speaker 5 (26:25):
And now here are.
Speaker 4 (26:26):
Button, Lou with the final word, Well, Castello, you want
presents for everybody?
Speaker 1 (26:31):
I hope you're very, very happy, Abbot, I could be
a lot happier. Oh if I was only a nurse.
I eer a nurse, That's right.
Speaker 6 (26:38):
What would you do if you were a nurse?
Speaker 1 (26:40):
You know, Abbott? I read in a paper to day
that's some urgent need for more army nurses. Oh yes, yes,
I know about that.
Speaker 4 (26:46):
And do you know, Lou, that any nurse who enters
the Army Nurse Corps now will enter with the rank
of second lieutenant and there's ample opportunity for advancement.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
You know.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
I hope that all the nurses that are listening in
tonight will join the Army Nurse Corps and get their
country the best Christmas present of all.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Yes, girls, right immediately to the Surgeon General United States Army, Washington, DC,
or call it your nearest Red Cross chapters.
Speaker 5 (27:10):
Good Night, folks, good night.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Good night everybody. And I hope command go halto Hel's
much better?
Speaker 12 (27:17):
Can I sell everybody in Parison?
Speaker 2 (27:33):
We's here to tune there next week for another great
Ammad and Costello show. And remember, try Camel's on your
throat and your taste. See for yourself. Are Camel's mildness,
coolness and flavor click with you. Here's a Christmas gift
(28:03):
that will bring the man who gets it a lot
of pleasure long after Christmas is over a generous pound
or half pound package of Prince Albert's smoking tobacco with
the bright Holiday band. Every time he packs and lights
his favorite pipe with this favorite tobacco, he will think
of your thoughtfulness. His taste will thank you for the full, rich,
yet mild flavor. His tongue will thank you for Prince
(28:23):
Albert's gentleness due to the no bite treatment. Another thing
men like about Prince Albert.
Speaker 13 (28:28):
Is the crimp cut, which guarantees perfect packing, smooth drawing,
and even burning right down to the last puff. You
really make a pipe smoker's Christmas merry when you give
him Prince Albert Tobacco. The Avenue Castello Show for Camel
(28:56):
cigarettes will be back in this very same time next week.
Speaker 5 (28:59):
Don't mess.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
It is Can Niles in Hollywood, wishing you all a
pleasant good night.
Speaker 6 (29:09):
This is the National Broadcasting Company.
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