May 24, 2023 • 24 mins
Abbott and Costello debuted on radio on Kate Smith's program in 1938. They continued performing on the show until the summer of 1940. Their first program of their own was a summer replacement for The Fred Allen Show in 1940. After a hiatus of two years, the show returned as a regular network program in the fall of 1942 and ran through the spring of 1949.
The show was a variety program, with Abbott and Costello performing comedy sketches, songs, and musical numbers. The show also featured a number of recurring characters, including Bud Abbott's character, "Louie the Garbage Man," and Lou Costello's character, "Noodles."
The Abbott and Costello Show was one of the most popular radio programs of its time. It was a major influence on the development of the sitcom genre, and it helped to make Abbott and Costello one of the most popular comedy teams in history.
Here are some of the most famous sketches from The Abbott and Costello Show:
"Who's on First?"
"The Gas Man"
"The Time of Their Lives"
"The Whodunit?"
"The Mad Doctor"
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
The show was a variety program, with Abbott and Costello performing comedy sketches, songs, and musical numbers. The show also featured a number of recurring characters, including Bud Abbott's character, "Louie the Garbage Man," and Lou Costello's character, "Noodles."
The Abbott and Costello Show was one of the most popular radio programs of its time. It was a major influence on the development of the sitcom genre, and it helped to make Abbott and Costello one of the most popular comedy teams in history.
Here are some of the most famous sketches from The Abbott and Costello Show:
"Who's on First?"
"The Gas Man"
"The Time of Their Lives"
"The Whodunit?"
"The Mad Doctor"
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Oh right, Oh, the ideacoming in here singing, I'm gonna sing
(00:21):
on a program tonight. What doyou know about music? You wouldn't know
a vase from soprano that so youwouldn't see me sliding in the second soprano,
would you? And besides, thenew girl wants me to sing on
the program. You got a newgirl? Yes? Every night she knocks
on my door, throws her arms, ram you, hug, and kisses
me and calls me Gregory. Hecalled you Gregory, Gregory. Why didn't
(00:41):
you tell her you're not Gregory?Really? Boy? What does this girl
do lose? She's a strip teasedancer at the Burla Show. I wait
for her every night outside the stagedoor. No, but she waits to
meet from the patrol wagon as itgoes by, saying I used to change
(01:03):
like you, and I never gotanywhere. And one day I decided life
wasn't worth it. I try toshoot myself, somebody stopped. I try
to hang myself, and somebody stopped. I try to drown myself and somebody.
Some people never know when to minetheir own business. Oh, I
(01:26):
have to say to you that,edio, edio, that's good bye,
and splanning well, Los Angeles traffic, Los Angeles traffic. That's good bye
and anything. Hey, wait aminute, boys, here's a serious looking
(01:49):
gull. I'm trying to get aword in edgewy. Let's see what he
has to say. M' what hellabout? It's fine. I haven't choosen
(03:01):
a man. Chosen a man atthe stinks by the Boy Scouts of America.
And my picture is going to bean all the magazine pot picture.
There it is. It's a pictureof me leaning up against my stout master
drigging a glass of buttermilk. Youmust be pretty popular with your boys,
got through, yes, her.I'm the only boy Scout in California that's
got a hot rod. Yeah,you don't even know what a hot rod
(03:21):
is. Well, yes, Ido a hot rod as a gelope that
smokes Mexican cigarette. You're running aroundwith a bunch of kids that you're aiding.
There must be something wrong with you. What's the matter with you?
Anyway? Can't figure it out?Haven't I sleep good at night? I
sleep good in the morning, butduring the day. I just seen the
Whiston turn. I don't want tonobody who associate with you. You haven't
(03:46):
got a friend in the world.How do you say to that, I'm
the most popular guy in my hometown. Every one of the three hundred thousand
people in Pattison, New Jersey lovedme. Wait a minute, trustella three
thousand. Pattison only has an hundredand four eight thousand people. When were
you there last two years ago?Well, people have children, you know,
(04:10):
Tom sense. What's that roll ofpaper you've got in your pocket?
That's my Christmas shopping list. You'reright on the top. Hey, that's
one. What are you going toget me? Get you a handful of
nickels and dimes and put them inyour mouth. What do you want to
give me a handful of nickels andnine to put my mouth? I'd like
to hear some change in your conversation. Never mind who else is on your
(04:32):
list? Well as my uncle Mike, I don't know what to get him.
Last year, I got him asmoking jacket if you like it?
Oh, sure, Christmas morning hestuffed it into his pipe. Didn't it
burn? Yeah? But not asgood as to Bacca. I think I'll
get my aunt made one of thoseold man river girdles. What's an old
man river girdle? Help you putthat barge and lift that veil. I'll
(04:56):
I'll either get that or I'll geta book of volume by old Henry.
A volume. Yeah, oh oh, Henry only wrote short story. How
much can you write on her ona wrapper off a candy bar? Well,
what is Uncle Mike going to getat me? Look? I don't
know. Last year he gave herfur peek shot it under the house had
a white stripe down its back.That was a stunk. That was a
(05:19):
stunk white. Uncle Mike shooted everyshot it. He asked himself the same
question. Wait, wait a minute, After all, skunk is pretty expensive.
Your uncle Mike had to buy headyou would had to sell his house
to papers after got it, hadto sell the house anyway. My wife,
(05:41):
my wife wasn't me co for Christmas, But mink skins cost party.
That was a peak. Why don'tjust buy one skins and a sock stretch?
That's ridiculous. My wife is oneof the most beautiful women in how
I would every time I look ather, you remind me of Jane rushed
me too? Really, what makesher remind you of Jane Russ? He's
(06:02):
got leagues like Bob Waterfield. Mywife puts on an evening gowns. He
looks like she was parting. You'reall right, Abbert, She looks like
she was portering and forgot to saywhen. So, my wife has a
picture star a few years ago.You know, her last picture was the
great Partest Bayer was Siren. Isaw that picture. She nearly pull off
(06:26):
the top three times. I tellingmy wife is one of the most popular
girls in this town. Why Ionly want her on account of my great
romantic ability. That romantic ability.When I put my arms around the girl
and kiss her, her eyes closed, paint stead away. But I used
to be able to do the samething. Only lately garlic doesn't agree with
me. I tell me, Costell, how's your own man's coming with that
(06:55):
rich girl from a passing thing?No, she wasn't serious habit. I
found out it was nothing but popularlove on her part. Freak engage.
She found out I wasn't a puppy, right he should have he should have
hung on to her. Costell orher family were very wealthy. Their home
(07:15):
has twenty bathroom. The home hastwenty bathroom, that's right. Why did
they call him the filthy ri Youknow she was a nice girl, have
it, but there was one thingwrong with her. She had a million
dollars. Smile, Well, what'swrong with that? You only smile at
guys that had a million dollars.Well, now that you've broken off with
(07:36):
them, why don't you make aplay for my younger sister, Babe,
Your sister babe. Don't tell meshe's out here in California now, or
she's always wanted to come out hereto the West where men are men and
women are women. Yes, outhere in the West where men are men
and women are women. And nowyou're sister babe has to come out here
and compute the whole thing. Can'ttell him my sister made maybe fat.
(07:57):
But remember she's asked slick chick flick, all right? The last time I
had to think with her, Idon't know what a kiss a good night
in her hair? Split off?Ay? Are you trying to insinuate that
my sister baby's ball. I wouldn'tsay that she's got one of those new
sunny tough hair dudes. Sunny toughhair dude. Yeah, it tunning down
the middle and there's a tough,funny side. Hello fello, Now it's
(08:22):
abit snaphew, folks, Now,what do you want on it? Well,
I'm on the committee for the RoseBowl Parade and we want you to
ride them one of those big rosecovered floats on New Year's Day. Yeah,
but I've got a ton of something. There's one restriction. You can't
tell me the jokes you're telling radiowhile you're riding on the float. We
want the people to smell the roses. That get it. I can't stand
this any longer. Every week thesame time, I wait a minute,
(08:43):
and money for it? What areyou going to do? What are you
gonna do? What am I gonnado? No, I'm this studio wasn't
big enough for the tour of us. Now here. You take this gun
and I'll take this gun, andwe'll shoot at each other until one of
us is dead. Okay, doyou want a better quarter? I win?
What for? I just thought youmight want to make it exciting.
(09:07):
Well, why don't you took overto the rolling cigarette program and have your
head moisturized? Wait, I'll getout of here. Yeah. Why did
you get that guy a job andkeep him out of here? He just
comes in there for laughs. He'sgot a job. You kidna. That
guy couldn't tell anything right now,he's working with the drug store and they're
(09:28):
having a one cent sale. What'syou sell him? Henny's cooke among the
thirty two pom on A thirty oneten Fernando above thirty two Riverside, twenty
eight minute, Costella, what areyou doing? As long as ain't getting
any laughs? I just might aswell read the frost warning. That's not
(09:50):
a day after all? This isChristmas. Don't you feel this spirit of
Yes? I guess you're right that, but I feel like helping everybody.
I've got nothing but good in myheart. See that old man over there,
the woman with a beard and thepatches on his pand I'll show you
I got the spirit of Christmas.I'm going over there and help that old
man out. That's the spirit.Costello. Hi, buddy, Did I
took you for a minute? Ohwell, I don't want to be forward
(10:13):
this being Christmas. No, I'ma look Costello, yet I thought that
maybe you did sort of. Well, oh here's a dime, get lost,
thank Paula thirty two Ventura twenty ninethirty. Hello boy, Hey,
(10:33):
look, Costello's our secretary, theold one, all right? I called
you last night, all you aren'thome? No, I was over at
Costello's house practicing love scenes with it. You were practice love scenes with Costello?
He's so shorty he doesn't even comeup to your shoulders. How kemmy?
How can you make love to you? Well? I stand him on
(10:54):
the box, put my arms aroundhim, tied, kick the box out
from under him, and I've gonehim traded. Oh hi twenty nine,
tipha thirty one. Well, I'llleave you to curios along tip and heedty
lamar lamar. Yeah that's three.Where are you going, Castell? I
(11:20):
gotta go home on I think?Am I better pack? You know he's
in the dowkward day, awkward day. He's too young to leave home alone.
I'm too old trust with babies.Why waste your time with your brother?
Pat? Why don't you take themovie? Oh no, I'm not
gonna go to the movies with Costello. After what happened the last time?
What happened? You and I wereholding handful. We had to let go
(11:41):
because we were tripping too many people. You were dripping people. Yeah,
she was sitting across the aisle fromme. Now do you see why I
won't go to the movies with it. You don't have to go with me,
Viola. I get pretty of girl. It's only tonight coming down here.
Ann Sheridan says, Hiolu, whendid you ever meet and Shir?
I've seen her so many times ona screen. She thinks she knows me.
Are you kidding? You know youdon't know anybody in pictures? I
(12:03):
don't know. If it comes outon lad, I'll show you who my
pals are. Hi Alan, allright, Mac mac mac, I thought
it was your pal. I didn'tcall your mane take a little nursey.
He thought I was Fred mcmarry.Well, so long. Remember if you
(12:31):
want to, you can come overto my house tonight. Oh yeah,
I stilla. That was nice dinner. Yes, but I ain't gonna go
to her house anymore for dinner.She's too whishy washing which she washing?
Yes. Every time we get throughwith dinner, she always says, I
wish you'd washing that. Put downthat water down, that water? What
(13:03):
are you doing? I put itdown, doing well? I think of
water. Doctor to many drink waternow before I eat, and I don't
like it. Why not? I'vebeen thinking for twenty minutes. So I
take another swallow up, fust Whatdoctor you go to? My cousin,
My cousin, he's a doctor.Doctor Vincon Barrello is good doctor good,
he's the greatest doctor. Cookamonga themost stiffun doctor. And Cucamonga. There's
(13:26):
no better doctor in Coocamonga. Whatmakes you so she's the only doctor and
Coocamonga? Yeah, I mean,why do you go all the way to
Kukamonger there's a doctor you're a block? Yeah, but he's a baby doctor.
I ain't got no confidence in him? Why not? Very few babies
make good doctors. Forget about him. Have you heard any more from our
responses about how they like our yourSam Shovel Detective stories? Indeed I have.
(13:50):
Here's a letter from one of themthat came this morning. I'll read
it here a little custol. SinceI heard you were going to continue your
Sam Shovel Detector to you is Ihave decided to take the old picture off
our bottles, Henry, place itwith your picture. For as long as
you do your Sam Shovel series,every bottle of Hart product will have your
picture on the label. What productdo they make? I thought? So?
(14:11):
What is your Sam Shovel Detective Princetonfor to night. What are my
minor cases? Have it? Icall it the case of the babysitter who
was fired because neglected has worked orit was time for a team. Let's
get on with the case now.The makers of Pismo Cocoa, the coco
(14:33):
that won't keep you awake unless youdrink it, presents your favorite radio mysteries.
Sam Shouble, Private Detective. Butfirst a word about our product.
Friends, when you drink cocoa beforeyou go to bed, do you toss
and burn? Hie a cup ofPismo Coco tonight? No more tossing,
no more turning, You'll just liethere dead. Pismo Coco comes in the
(14:58):
regulars for those who make it inthe pop It also comes vacuum pack for
those who make it in a vacuumcleaner. Bring Pismore Coco. And no
no, when you drink pismore Coco, what a good cup taste like?
They compared to the cocoa. Thecouple tastes wonderful. Now let's listen to
(15:18):
what people all over the country aresaying about Pismo Coco Coco. That's Huco,
that's Hulco Coco. Prance Weird proudof Pittmore Coco. Remember this.
(15:39):
During the War, Tismo Coco waschosen by our army as the Coco they
turbed over sea. They turbed itto the Jack. Now Chismo Coco brings
you the further adventures of Tim TutolePrivate Detective. Yes, I'm Sam Shovel,
(16:00):
Sam Shovel, Private Detective. I'vehad a tough day. I'm sitting
here in my little office dozing.I'm sleepy. Suddenly I see at Dunhill,
Heywoody, a corn cob, abriar. I'm having pipe dream.
Telephone company was here this morning andput on the phone. I look at
my new phone number, Elephant sixsix eighty eight. Hmm, must be
(16:22):
on a trunk line. I justfinished listening to my favorite radio giveaway show,
the only real giveaway show on theair. You gets the answer they
give away the show. I seethe mail man's shadow on the window of
my office door. He's bringing mymail. He delivers the mail the hard
(16:48):
way, a hard way. Hecrawls through the mail slot and drags the
mail and after him. I noticedmy new map has arrived in the mail.
Got the boundaries of all the state. Smartd on it. I studied
the map. There's the Ohio stateline. There's the Indiana line. You
that must be the Mason Dixon line. I love the South. I'll ever
(17:15):
figure out our trails. Shot gunjeek through the South. He thought he
was a smart guy. But Ifixed his wagon. I grabbed them in
at Land and fix his wagon.And Tattanooga fix his wagon. In Birmingham,
I fix his wagon. I madea lot of money. Our keys
give me five dollars every time Ifix his wagon. Here's a letter from
mc crook and Switzerland. He's in'tprison at the Yodel Yodu. That's WISP
(17:38):
for Sing Sing. I decided toread the rest of my mail. Here's
a letter I don't understand. There'sSam Shovel. We're sick of you.
Button know our business. If theRoller Gang don't kill you, we'll kill
you. Sign the merry gang.He is. If you're already dead,
please disregard this note. That soundslike a threatening letter. Better make sure
(18:04):
I'm on. I opened the drawerof my desk to check out my gun.
It's a colt. Here's a postart for my bookmaker. He wants
me to send him a dollar fora football. I don't think I'll do
it. Waste of time building apool for a football. It's about time
(18:26):
for my pilots and an Amot thehomicide squad to show up. Abbot is
a fine coup. Abbot Chief wantsto put him on the headquarters squad.
No wonder, Abbot is the onlycoup in the force. It's got ahead
the size of a quarter. Ihung out with an Abbot so much we've
become known as sidekick. Not becausewe're so friendly, It's just that every
time we meet, we kick eachother in the side. Suddenly I hear
(18:51):
footstops outside my door. Hello,Hello, where did you shut up?
Foot in? An Abbot? I'llabout paying me to fight all of you
on me in a brutal shower.They come my way. Every time I
asked for money, he gives mea song and dance. Have you been?
(19:12):
I just arrested a guy for changingthe tire. You'll can't arrest a
man for changing the tire. Mycard to his lieutenant would also change it.
You'll from my punch line to hispunch line. This office is philthy?
Why did you get some cleaning equipment? I'm up the dirt. I've
got plenty of cleaning equipment. Igot vacuum cleaners, mops, brooms and
(19:33):
rubbing brussels. Why don't you can'tfind him the run of the dirt.
You are a less space to thedetective business. What and all? Thank
all? Leaping dirt? Why didn'tyou open the window? The only winding
the polaces in my kitchen a wellopening? What let the sun come in
and kill my mushroom bid? AsI said this, I heard it creep
(19:56):
your sound on the hall outside.I turn a look, Lieutenant Abbot,
Nice quick, somebody's coming high behindthat marble slab flap amm, you're right,
someone at the door door? Slowlyopen, Get it open while I'm
(20:18):
still young enough to read the nextline. Hitting in the doorway was the
most gorgeous girl I've ever seen yourbed. I have heard that you are
guide detective, but I am.I loved at the lovely creature. She
was wearing a low cut evening.Will you help me out, lady?
(20:42):
Don't you think you're out far enoughalready? Who is your John? This
is Lieutenant Abbott of the Homicide Squad, ah famous, I have, Lieutenant
Abbot, Lieutenant I am in guarddanger. You can help me, Nesta,
M. Maybe, Oh I don'tthink I could do that. Oh
(21:12):
I couldn't do that. M.I couldn't do that. What's you saying
that? It? Maybe I could? Sam Shovel, you are so brave.
(21:33):
The terrible counts after me. Tellme what would you do if you
are in my shoes? Probably fallpush countless. You shouldn't drag Sam Shovel
into this case. Here we go. Coun Boris is a vicious man.
He might kill Sam. Besides,you have no money to pay the fee.
(21:56):
I have no money, but Sam, I can't pay you. This
is not legal, Tender. Hemay not be legal, but I'll bet
there tender. Damn, you areso wonderful. I'm going to give you
a kids that will melt your heart. Damn, Damn say something? Does
(22:25):
anybody want to buy ten cents worthof liquid hot? Damn? It is
count Romies. He's looking for me. He's always sitting for five years.
I've been hiding from quick ten.Where can I high? Here? All
right under the desk I've been lookingfor here you are under the tsk.
(22:49):
Come out across it, Barton.I have found you, and you know
what up me? What are yougoing to do to her? Count borders
not see what he now? It'smine torn to hide. He's got to
find me, get them out ofhere. Whatever. Adam laid the last
(23:14):
word, as you always say,good night, ladies and gentlemen. I
would like to say that the partof Sam shovelin tonight's show was played by
Luke Costella, and I Bud Abbott, do not necessarily agree with anything he
said, Thank you, Abbott.And I want to say that the part
of Fluketan Abbott the homicide Squad isplayed by Bud Abott. And if there
was any resemblance between Abbott and anyliving person there would be better off dead.
(23:37):
Thank you. And now let's givea ball to our orchestra leader Maddie
Melanie and to our singer Hal Winter. And I'd like to give preth to
our writing staff insteaded by any formerwith Paul Colin pac Corostola, Martin mcwayne,
and let us turn and let's notforget our capable producer, Charles Venda,
and let's not forget to say goodnight, good night, folk night
everybody. M Lesen Dates Thursday Nightat the Times another great at the Carclo
(24:08):
shows Transprided Hollywood you going to taketo the outstanding Independent, which follows Tilt
the evening on this DABC station.
Oh right, Oh, the ideacoming in here singing, I'm gonna sing
(00:21):
on a program tonight. What doyou know about music? You wouldn't know
a vase from soprano that so youwouldn't see me sliding in the second soprano,
would you? And besides, thenew girl wants me to sing on
the program. You got a newgirl? Yes? Every night she knocks
on my door, throws her arms, ram you, hug, and kisses
me and calls me Gregory. Hecalled you Gregory, Gregory. Why didn't
(00:41):
you tell her you're not Gregory?Really? Boy? What does this girl
do lose? She's a strip teasedancer at the Burla Show. I wait
for her every night outside the stagedoor. No, but she waits to
meet from the patrol wagon as itgoes by, saying I used to change
(01:03):
like you, and I never gotanywhere. And one day I decided life
wasn't worth it. I try toshoot myself, somebody stopped. I try
to hang myself, and somebody stopped. I try to drown myself and somebody.
Some people never know when to minetheir own business. Oh, I
(01:26):
have to say to you that,edio, edio, that's good bye,
and splanning well, Los Angeles traffic, Los Angeles traffic. That's good bye
and anything. Hey, wait aminute, boys, here's a serious looking
(01:49):
gull. I'm trying to get aword in edgewy. Let's see what he
has to say. M' what hellabout? It's fine. I haven't choosen
(03:01):
a man. Chosen a man atthe stinks by the Boy Scouts of America.
And my picture is going to bean all the magazine pot picture.
There it is. It's a pictureof me leaning up against my stout master
drigging a glass of buttermilk. Youmust be pretty popular with your boys,
got through, yes, her.I'm the only boy Scout in California that's
got a hot rod. Yeah,you don't even know what a hot rod
(03:21):
is. Well, yes, Ido a hot rod as a gelope that
smokes Mexican cigarette. You're running aroundwith a bunch of kids that you're aiding.
There must be something wrong with you. What's the matter with you?
Anyway? Can't figure it out?Haven't I sleep good at night? I
sleep good in the morning, butduring the day. I just seen the
Whiston turn. I don't want tonobody who associate with you. You haven't
(03:46):
got a friend in the world.How do you say to that, I'm
the most popular guy in my hometown. Every one of the three hundred thousand
people in Pattison, New Jersey lovedme. Wait a minute, trustella three
thousand. Pattison only has an hundredand four eight thousand people. When were
you there last two years ago?Well, people have children, you know,
(04:10):
Tom sense. What's that roll ofpaper you've got in your pocket?
That's my Christmas shopping list. You'reright on the top. Hey, that's
one. What are you going toget me? Get you a handful of
nickels and dimes and put them inyour mouth. What do you want to
give me a handful of nickels andnine to put my mouth? I'd like
to hear some change in your conversation. Never mind who else is on your
(04:32):
list? Well as my uncle Mike, I don't know what to get him.
Last year, I got him asmoking jacket if you like it?
Oh, sure, Christmas morning hestuffed it into his pipe. Didn't it
burn? Yeah? But not asgood as to Bacca. I think I'll
get my aunt made one of thoseold man river girdles. What's an old
man river girdle? Help you putthat barge and lift that veil. I'll
(04:56):
I'll either get that or I'll geta book of volume by old Henry.
A volume. Yeah, oh oh, Henry only wrote short story. How
much can you write on her ona wrapper off a candy bar? Well,
what is Uncle Mike going to getat me? Look? I don't
know. Last year he gave herfur peek shot it under the house had
a white stripe down its back.That was a stunk. That was a
(05:19):
stunk white. Uncle Mike shooted everyshot it. He asked himself the same
question. Wait, wait a minute, After all, skunk is pretty expensive.
Your uncle Mike had to buy headyou would had to sell his house
to papers after got it, hadto sell the house anyway. My wife,
(05:41):
my wife wasn't me co for Christmas, But mink skins cost party.
That was a peak. Why don'tjust buy one skins and a sock stretch?
That's ridiculous. My wife is oneof the most beautiful women in how
I would every time I look ather, you remind me of Jane rushed
me too? Really, what makesher remind you of Jane Russ? He's
(06:02):
got leagues like Bob Waterfield. Mywife puts on an evening gowns. He
looks like she was parting. You'reall right, Abbert, She looks like
she was portering and forgot to saywhen. So, my wife has a
picture star a few years ago.You know, her last picture was the
great Partest Bayer was Siren. Isaw that picture. She nearly pull off
(06:26):
the top three times. I tellingmy wife is one of the most popular
girls in this town. Why Ionly want her on account of my great
romantic ability. That romantic ability.When I put my arms around the girl
and kiss her, her eyes closed, paint stead away. But I used
to be able to do the samething. Only lately garlic doesn't agree with
me. I tell me, Costell, how's your own man's coming with that
(06:55):
rich girl from a passing thing?No, she wasn't serious habit. I
found out it was nothing but popularlove on her part. Freak engage.
She found out I wasn't a puppy, right he should have he should have
hung on to her. Costell orher family were very wealthy. Their home
(07:15):
has twenty bathroom. The home hastwenty bathroom, that's right. Why did
they call him the filthy ri Youknow she was a nice girl, have
it, but there was one thingwrong with her. She had a million
dollars. Smile, Well, what'swrong with that? You only smile at
guys that had a million dollars.Well, now that you've broken off with
(07:36):
them, why don't you make aplay for my younger sister, Babe,
Your sister babe. Don't tell meshe's out here in California now, or
she's always wanted to come out hereto the West where men are men and
women are women. Yes, outhere in the West where men are men
and women are women. And nowyou're sister babe has to come out here
and compute the whole thing. Can'ttell him my sister made maybe fat.
(07:57):
But remember she's asked slick chick flick, all right? The last time I
had to think with her, Idon't know what a kiss a good night
in her hair? Split off?Ay? Are you trying to insinuate that
my sister baby's ball. I wouldn'tsay that she's got one of those new
sunny tough hair dudes. Sunny toughhair dude. Yeah, it tunning down
the middle and there's a tough,funny side. Hello fello, Now it's
(08:22):
abit snaphew, folks, Now,what do you want on it? Well,
I'm on the committee for the RoseBowl Parade and we want you to
ride them one of those big rosecovered floats on New Year's Day. Yeah,
but I've got a ton of something. There's one restriction. You can't
tell me the jokes you're telling radiowhile you're riding on the float. We
want the people to smell the roses. That get it. I can't stand
this any longer. Every week thesame time, I wait a minute,
(08:43):
and money for it? What areyou going to do? What are you
gonna do? What am I gonnado? No, I'm this studio wasn't
big enough for the tour of us. Now here. You take this gun
and I'll take this gun, andwe'll shoot at each other until one of
us is dead. Okay, doyou want a better quarter? I win?
What for? I just thought youmight want to make it exciting.
(09:07):
Well, why don't you took overto the rolling cigarette program and have your
head moisturized? Wait, I'll getout of here. Yeah. Why did
you get that guy a job andkeep him out of here? He just
comes in there for laughs. He'sgot a job. You kidna. That
guy couldn't tell anything right now,he's working with the drug store and they're
(09:28):
having a one cent sale. What'syou sell him? Henny's cooke among the
thirty two pom on A thirty oneten Fernando above thirty two Riverside, twenty
eight minute, Costella, what areyou doing? As long as ain't getting
any laughs? I just might aswell read the frost warning. That's not
(09:50):
a day after all? This isChristmas. Don't you feel this spirit of
Yes? I guess you're right that, but I feel like helping everybody.
I've got nothing but good in myheart. See that old man over there,
the woman with a beard and thepatches on his pand I'll show you
I got the spirit of Christmas.I'm going over there and help that old
man out. That's the spirit.Costello. Hi, buddy, Did I
took you for a minute? Ohwell, I don't want to be forward
(10:13):
this being Christmas. No, I'ma look Costello, yet I thought that
maybe you did sort of. Well, oh here's a dime, get lost,
thank Paula thirty two Ventura twenty ninethirty. Hello boy, Hey,
(10:33):
look, Costello's our secretary, theold one, all right? I called
you last night, all you aren'thome? No, I was over at
Costello's house practicing love scenes with it. You were practice love scenes with Costello?
He's so shorty he doesn't even comeup to your shoulders. How kemmy?
How can you make love to you? Well? I stand him on
(10:54):
the box, put my arms aroundhim, tied, kick the box out
from under him, and I've gonehim traded. Oh hi twenty nine,
tipha thirty one. Well, I'llleave you to curios along tip and heedty
lamar lamar. Yeah that's three.Where are you going, Castell? I
(11:20):
gotta go home on I think?Am I better pack? You know he's
in the dowkward day, awkward day. He's too young to leave home alone.
I'm too old trust with babies.Why waste your time with your brother?
Pat? Why don't you take themovie? Oh no, I'm not
gonna go to the movies with Costello. After what happened the last time?
What happened? You and I wereholding handful. We had to let go
(11:41):
because we were tripping too many people. You were dripping people. Yeah,
she was sitting across the aisle fromme. Now do you see why I
won't go to the movies with it. You don't have to go with me,
Viola. I get pretty of girl. It's only tonight coming down here.
Ann Sheridan says, Hiolu, whendid you ever meet and Shir?
I've seen her so many times ona screen. She thinks she knows me.
Are you kidding? You know youdon't know anybody in pictures? I
(12:03):
don't know. If it comes outon lad, I'll show you who my
pals are. Hi Alan, allright, Mac mac mac, I thought
it was your pal. I didn'tcall your mane take a little nursey.
He thought I was Fred mcmarry.Well, so long. Remember if you
(12:31):
want to, you can come overto my house tonight. Oh yeah,
I stilla. That was nice dinner. Yes, but I ain't gonna go
to her house anymore for dinner.She's too whishy washing which she washing?
Yes. Every time we get throughwith dinner, she always says, I
wish you'd washing that. Put downthat water down, that water? What
(13:03):
are you doing? I put itdown, doing well? I think of
water. Doctor to many drink waternow before I eat, and I don't
like it. Why not? I'vebeen thinking for twenty minutes. So I
take another swallow up, fust Whatdoctor you go to? My cousin,
My cousin, he's a doctor.Doctor Vincon Barrello is good doctor good,
he's the greatest doctor. Cookamonga themost stiffun doctor. And Cucamonga. There's
(13:26):
no better doctor in Coocamonga. Whatmakes you so she's the only doctor and
Coocamonga? Yeah, I mean,why do you go all the way to
Kukamonger there's a doctor you're a block? Yeah, but he's a baby doctor.
I ain't got no confidence in him? Why not? Very few babies
make good doctors. Forget about him. Have you heard any more from our
responses about how they like our yourSam Shovel Detective stories? Indeed I have.
(13:50):
Here's a letter from one of themthat came this morning. I'll read
it here a little custol. SinceI heard you were going to continue your
Sam Shovel Detector to you is Ihave decided to take the old picture off
our bottles, Henry, place itwith your picture. For as long as
you do your Sam Shovel series,every bottle of Hart product will have your
picture on the label. What productdo they make? I thought? So?
(14:11):
What is your Sam Shovel Detective Princetonfor to night. What are my
minor cases? Have it? Icall it the case of the babysitter who
was fired because neglected has worked orit was time for a team. Let's
get on with the case now.The makers of Pismo Cocoa, the coco
(14:33):
that won't keep you awake unless youdrink it, presents your favorite radio mysteries.
Sam Shouble, Private Detective. Butfirst a word about our product.
Friends, when you drink cocoa beforeyou go to bed, do you toss
and burn? Hie a cup ofPismo Coco tonight? No more tossing,
no more turning, You'll just liethere dead. Pismo Coco comes in the
(14:58):
regulars for those who make it inthe pop It also comes vacuum pack for
those who make it in a vacuumcleaner. Bring Pismore Coco. And no
no, when you drink pismore Coco, what a good cup taste like?
They compared to the cocoa. Thecouple tastes wonderful. Now let's listen to
(15:18):
what people all over the country aresaying about Pismo Coco Coco. That's Huco,
that's Hulco Coco. Prance Weird proudof Pittmore Coco. Remember this.
(15:39):
During the War, Tismo Coco waschosen by our army as the Coco they
turbed over sea. They turbed itto the Jack. Now Chismo Coco brings
you the further adventures of Tim TutolePrivate Detective. Yes, I'm Sam Shovel,
(16:00):
Sam Shovel, Private Detective. I'vehad a tough day. I'm sitting
here in my little office dozing.I'm sleepy. Suddenly I see at Dunhill,
Heywoody, a corn cob, abriar. I'm having pipe dream.
Telephone company was here this morning andput on the phone. I look at
my new phone number, Elephant sixsix eighty eight. Hmm, must be
(16:22):
on a trunk line. I justfinished listening to my favorite radio giveaway show,
the only real giveaway show on theair. You gets the answer they
give away the show. I seethe mail man's shadow on the window of
my office door. He's bringing mymail. He delivers the mail the hard
(16:48):
way, a hard way. Hecrawls through the mail slot and drags the
mail and after him. I noticedmy new map has arrived in the mail.
Got the boundaries of all the state. Smartd on it. I studied
the map. There's the Ohio stateline. There's the Indiana line. You
that must be the Mason Dixon line. I love the South. I'll ever
(17:15):
figure out our trails. Shot gunjeek through the South. He thought he
was a smart guy. But Ifixed his wagon. I grabbed them in
at Land and fix his wagon.And Tattanooga fix his wagon. In Birmingham,
I fix his wagon. I madea lot of money. Our keys
give me five dollars every time Ifix his wagon. Here's a letter from
mc crook and Switzerland. He's in'tprison at the Yodel Yodu. That's WISP
(17:38):
for Sing Sing. I decided toread the rest of my mail. Here's
a letter I don't understand. There'sSam Shovel. We're sick of you.
Button know our business. If theRoller Gang don't kill you, we'll kill
you. Sign the merry gang.He is. If you're already dead,
please disregard this note. That soundslike a threatening letter. Better make sure
(18:04):
I'm on. I opened the drawerof my desk to check out my gun.
It's a colt. Here's a postart for my bookmaker. He wants
me to send him a dollar fora football. I don't think I'll do
it. Waste of time building apool for a football. It's about time
(18:26):
for my pilots and an Amot thehomicide squad to show up. Abbot is
a fine coup. Abbot Chief wantsto put him on the headquarters squad.
No wonder, Abbot is the onlycoup in the force. It's got ahead
the size of a quarter. Ihung out with an Abbot so much we've
become known as sidekick. Not becausewe're so friendly, It's just that every
time we meet, we kick eachother in the side. Suddenly I hear
(18:51):
footstops outside my door. Hello,Hello, where did you shut up?
Foot in? An Abbot? I'llabout paying me to fight all of you
on me in a brutal shower.They come my way. Every time I
asked for money, he gives mea song and dance. Have you been?
(19:12):
I just arrested a guy for changingthe tire. You'll can't arrest a
man for changing the tire. Mycard to his lieutenant would also change it.
You'll from my punch line to hispunch line. This office is philthy?
Why did you get some cleaning equipment? I'm up the dirt. I've
got plenty of cleaning equipment. Igot vacuum cleaners, mops, brooms and
(19:33):
rubbing brussels. Why don't you can'tfind him the run of the dirt.
You are a less space to thedetective business. What and all? Thank
all? Leaping dirt? Why didn'tyou open the window? The only winding
the polaces in my kitchen a wellopening? What let the sun come in
and kill my mushroom bid? AsI said this, I heard it creep
(19:56):
your sound on the hall outside.I turn a look, Lieutenant Abbot,
Nice quick, somebody's coming high behindthat marble slab flap amm, you're right,
someone at the door door? Slowlyopen, Get it open while I'm
(20:18):
still young enough to read the nextline. Hitting in the doorway was the
most gorgeous girl I've ever seen yourbed. I have heard that you are
guide detective, but I am.I loved at the lovely creature. She
was wearing a low cut evening.Will you help me out, lady?
(20:42):
Don't you think you're out far enoughalready? Who is your John? This
is Lieutenant Abbott of the Homicide Squad, ah famous, I have, Lieutenant
Abbot, Lieutenant I am in guarddanger. You can help me, Nesta,
M. Maybe, Oh I don'tthink I could do that. Oh
(21:12):
I couldn't do that. M.I couldn't do that. What's you saying
that? It? Maybe I could? Sam Shovel, you are so brave.
(21:33):
The terrible counts after me. Tellme what would you do if you
are in my shoes? Probably fallpush countless. You shouldn't drag Sam Shovel
into this case. Here we go. Coun Boris is a vicious man.
He might kill Sam. Besides,you have no money to pay the fee.
(21:56):
I have no money, but Sam, I can't pay you. This
is not legal, Tender. Hemay not be legal, but I'll bet
there tender. Damn, you areso wonderful. I'm going to give you
a kids that will melt your heart. Damn, Damn say something? Does
(22:25):
anybody want to buy ten cents worthof liquid hot? Damn? It is
count Romies. He's looking for me. He's always sitting for five years.
I've been hiding from quick ten.Where can I high? Here? All
right under the desk I've been lookingfor here you are under the tsk.
(22:49):
Come out across it, Barton.I have found you, and you know
what up me? What are yougoing to do to her? Count borders
not see what he now? It'smine torn to hide. He's got to
find me, get them out ofhere. Whatever. Adam laid the last
(23:14):
word, as you always say,good night, ladies and gentlemen. I
would like to say that the partof Sam shovelin tonight's show was played by
Luke Costella, and I Bud Abbott, do not necessarily agree with anything he
said, Thank you, Abbott.And I want to say that the part
of Fluketan Abbott the homicide Squad isplayed by Bud Abott. And if there
was any resemblance between Abbott and anyliving person there would be better off dead.
(23:37):
Thank you. And now let's givea ball to our orchestra leader Maddie
Melanie and to our singer Hal Winter. And I'd like to give preth to
our writing staff insteaded by any formerwith Paul Colin pac Corostola, Martin mcwayne,
and let us turn and let's notforget our capable producer, Charles Venda,
and let's not forget to say goodnight, good night, folk night
everybody. M Lesen Dates Thursday Nightat the Times another great at the Carclo
(24:08):
shows Transprided Hollywood you going to taketo the outstanding Independent, which follows Tilt
the evening on this DABC station.
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