Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Wow, according to the Dolls the episode too.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
And you know, I just promise you'll I'm just gonna
get y'all me man, like just anything that's on my brain.
And then well I always get to July, like I
ain't gonna even lie all year all the time. My
Grandma always on my brain. And I've been thinking about
how I can become more consistent, Like you gotta have
something that drive you. You gotta want something out this shit,
Like it could be monetary, it could be accolades or
(00:26):
you know, recognition from your peers or your loved ones.
You gotta want something in order for you to kind
of like, you know, take take something from a hobby,
or take something to the next level, whatever it is
you're trying to do. And I think about like most
of my life, I was motivated to try to make
my grandma prayer my mama. You know, it's like you
(00:46):
gotta love me by regardless. And I know my Grandma
loved me regardless, but it was something like I wanted
to achieve shit just for my grandma life. I wanted
to beat this whatever it was, whatever I was doing,
I wanted to be be so my Grandma can see
me and be proud. It's it's like I don't know
how to say this, but it's like it's just going
through the motions. I never ever, ever, throughout like my
(01:08):
whole life had many regrets. But I think when my grandma,
dad and I'm just giving me all me this real shit,
I regret not damn too.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Cause it's like like.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Even I smile and I laugh, and I joke and
I and I embraced new ship and all and I
love life. I ain't gonna say that, but I also
got like a survivor's more. It's a guilt, you know
what I'm saying, Like, damn, a lot of good ship
I've done since then I ain't able to tell, I
ain't able to share. And it's moments I could be
(01:41):
in a room for the people and it's just I
ain't choking up craym, but tears falling down my face,
or I'm in a moment where I'm you know, just
thinking about like my life and its totality and like
the future and shit like that, and I think, like
how much longer you know what I'm saying, how much
longer you got here?
Speaker 1 (01:59):
And it's like how much you know?
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Lager do I actually want to live if I it
does a chance for me to meet this woman on
the other side.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
I got to see my grandma.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Man, I got to see it, and I feel like
ordered me to get this bitch rolling in the right
direction and ordered me to be me.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
And really.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Get deeper than just talking about everybody else or some
you know what I'm saying, some hot topic or some
random ass dumb ass of paying You gotta be real
first and foremost. And I ain't saying you get people
on hunted. I'm not a subscriber to that. The only
mother fucker I've been one hunded with in my life
was my grandma. I ain't gonna have to tell you.
It wasn't nothing I couldn't tell her or nothing I
was scared to talk about with her. It wasn't nothing
(02:42):
that I was facing that. It was like, man, you know,
as a man, sometimes you do got your own shit.
You gotta what but to know is somebody that like
always that was some good ass advice. I always got
to talk to you about. You know what I'm saying,
some real shit. Not listening to to respond, Just listen
to taking that shit and you respect the advice I
(03:05):
used to.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
I hate to see it, like to just let the
world just you know what I'm.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Saying, whatever, whatever going on, whatever, you know what I'm saying,
How would this bitch treat me?
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Have them? You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
I'm feeling turnoil with my friendships, halving my fucking life
work whatever.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
I know.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
At the end of the day, my pieces came my grandma.
I could go over there, I could just get that
shit off my chest. I could motherfucking be like, you
know what, Grandma, I'm tired of trying right now, I'm
gonna come here with you.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
I'm miss stay with the fo laptop, figure it out.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Like I ain't proud of that, like saying that with
a badge of honor, but to know somebody leave you
that much, to have that that confidence that they know
you're gonna put this together. My grandma used to tell
me I was a genius, and she was a lawyer.
She was a child prodigy with the piano all that,
and this nigga telling me I'm a genius and I
I don't miss hearing that type of shit. I just
miss being there, like just every day listening to her
(03:53):
talk about the days of old Chicago and her growing
up in her lifestyle, you know, being a motherfucker right there,
get off when she you know what I'm saying, wake up?
She mad about some just old people be mad, so
they just just snap sometimes And as much as it
like in the moment, you'd be like, oh my god again,
but I get whatever to get another day like that,
(04:14):
you know what I'm saying, Like spending the whole motherfucking
evening just sitting there, just talking, you know what I'm saying, Like, listen.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
To us talk.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
We ain't fin no dinner, we ain't evenna do shit.
We just it just is just being, you know what
I'm saying. And I hate to think that a part
of me is already so dead that I ain't even
looking forward to enjoying that with other people in the world.
Like you think about like I got good friends, I
got a great family, all that shit, But that shit
(04:45):
don't be mean and shit to me no more bro like.
And I might be overly emotional because it's that time
in that mold like, but I don't think so like
even when it's not this time, even when it's just
a regular night, when it's I think about all I
do this shit fold like, I just do this shit
because I can, Like, I ain't gonna lie to you
(05:06):
to lose that motivation that spark and you know, motherfuckers say.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
You you you.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
I just can't imagine like somebody being able or anything
in the world being able to heal what I lost,
you know what I'm saying, Like, and I've been trying
to been going on six years. Leave me, man, I
done lost myself in all type of shit. You know,
like you you could try to achieve to make yourself
feel better. You could try to smoke all the way
(05:34):
in the world. You take all the d red, drink
all the alcohol. When it's a pain that you can't fix,
it can't be healed, It can't be it can't be modified.
It can't you know what I'm saying, Like, I just
don't know, you know what I'm saying. And I ain't
trying to be down and none of that. But I
promise I'm gonna be real. I promise I'm gonna get
out of me, man, and I just I just just
(05:55):
ride with me.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
You know.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
It's just episode too, it ain't I ain't gonna make
it too long. I just want to make sure I
did something right, get that shit out. And man, if you,
if you going through some pain, like we all are,
we all got our own piece of hell we gotta
walk through. But if you, if you going through a
loss and you feel like nobody understand and you don't
(06:17):
feel like you feel like you shouldn't talk about it
because no, you know, you don't want to bring other
people ship down. So you walk around with that ship
on you. You know what I'm saying. When you feel
a pain with if good, if shit go good, you
be wishing like you could just tell a person in
the world you love the most, like.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Like, man, just know you ain't alone.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
And I know I ain't alone those people out there
I've been to, you know, grief counseling, all type of shit. Man,
It's how it's a lot of people out there walk
with with the same ship.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Like it's hard.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
It's hard every day to get up and just keep
moving on, just thinking about what you lost. Like, if
you you going through that shiit, just know you got you.
You got a friend in the diet man, you got
a friend of the dozen.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Man. I love y'all.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
And if you're watching this weather, you six years, six seconds,
six millenniums past the time I've done this year. Maybe
I hope you know, you know I appreciate that shit man, Grandma,
I love you, girl,
Wow, according to the Dolls the episode too.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
And you know, I just promise you'll I'm just gonna
get y'all me man, like just anything that's on my brain.
And then well I always get to July, like I
ain't gonna even lie all year all the time. My
Grandma always on my brain. And I've been thinking about
how I can become more consistent, Like you gotta have
something that drive you. You gotta want something out this shit,
Like it could be monetary, it could be accolades or
(00:26):
you know, recognition from your peers or your loved ones.
You gotta want something in order for you to kind
of like, you know, take take something from a hobby,
or take something to the next level, whatever it is
you're trying to do. And I think about like most
of my life, I was motivated to try to make
my grandma prayer my mama. You know, it's like you
(00:46):
gotta love me by regardless. And I know my Grandma
loved me regardless, but it was something like I wanted
to achieve shit just for my grandma life. I wanted
to beat this whatever it was, whatever I was doing,
I wanted to be be so my Grandma can see
me and be proud. It's it's like I don't know
how to say this, but it's like it's just going
through the motions. I never ever, ever, throughout like my
(01:08):
whole life had many regrets. But I think when my grandma,
dad and I'm just giving me all me this real shit,
I regret not damn too.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Cause it's like like.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Even I smile and I laugh, and I joke and
I and I embraced new ship and all and I
love life. I ain't gonna say that, but I also
got like a survivor's more. It's a guilt, you know
what I'm saying, Like, damn, a lot of good ship
I've done since then I ain't able to tell, I
ain't able to share. And it's moments I could be
(01:41):
in a room for the people and it's just I
ain't choking up craym, but tears falling down my face,
or I'm in a moment where I'm you know, just
thinking about like my life and its totality and like
the future and shit like that, and I think, like
how much longer you know what I'm saying, how much
longer you got here?
Speaker 1 (01:59):
And it's like how much you know?
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Lager do I actually want to live if I it
does a chance for me to meet this woman on
the other side.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
I got to see my grandma.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Man, I got to see it, and I feel like
ordered me to get this bitch rolling in the right
direction and ordered me to be me.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
And really.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Get deeper than just talking about everybody else or some
you know what I'm saying, some hot topic or some
random ass dumb ass of paying You gotta be real
first and foremost. And I ain't saying you get people
on hunted. I'm not a subscriber to that. The only
mother fucker I've been one hunded with in my life
was my grandma. I ain't gonna have to tell you.
It wasn't nothing I couldn't tell her or nothing I
was scared to talk about with her. It wasn't nothing
(02:42):
that I was facing that. It was like, man, you know,
as a man, sometimes you do got your own shit.
You gotta what but to know is somebody that like
always that was some good ass advice. I always got
to talk to you about. You know what I'm saying,
some real shit. Not listening to to respond, Just listen
to taking that shit and you respect the advice I
(03:05):
used to.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
I hate to see it, like to just let the
world just you know what I'm.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Saying, whatever, whatever going on, whatever, you know what I'm saying,
How would this bitch treat me?
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Have them? You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
I'm feeling turnoil with my friendships, halving my fucking life
work whatever.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
I know.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
At the end of the day, my pieces came my grandma.
I could go over there, I could just get that
shit off my chest. I could motherfucking be like, you
know what, Grandma, I'm tired of trying right now, I'm
gonna come here with you.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
I'm miss stay with the fo laptop, figure it out.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Like I ain't proud of that, like saying that with
a badge of honor, but to know somebody leave you
that much, to have that that confidence that they know
you're gonna put this together. My grandma used to tell
me I was a genius, and she was a lawyer.
She was a child prodigy with the piano all that,
and this nigga telling me I'm a genius and I
I don't miss hearing that type of shit. I just
miss being there, like just every day listening to her
(03:53):
talk about the days of old Chicago and her growing
up in her lifestyle, you know, being a motherfucker right there,
get off when she you know what I'm saying, wake up?
She mad about some just old people be mad, so
they just just snap sometimes And as much as it
like in the moment, you'd be like, oh my god again,
but I get whatever to get another day like that,
(04:14):
you know what I'm saying, Like spending the whole motherfucking
evening just sitting there, just talking, you know what I'm saying, Like, listen.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
To us talk.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
We ain't fin no dinner, we ain't evenna do shit.
We just it just is just being, you know what
I'm saying. And I hate to think that a part
of me is already so dead that I ain't even
looking forward to enjoying that with other people in the world.
Like you think about like I got good friends, I
got a great family, all that shit, But that shit
(04:45):
don't be mean and shit to me no more bro like.
And I might be overly emotional because it's that time
in that mold like, but I don't think so like
even when it's not this time, even when it's just
a regular night, when it's I think about all I
do this shit fold like, I just do this shit
because I can, Like, I ain't gonna lie to you
(05:06):
to lose that motivation that spark and you know, motherfuckers say.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
You you you.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
I just can't imagine like somebody being able or anything
in the world being able to heal what I lost,
you know what I'm saying, Like, and I've been trying
to been going on six years. Leave me, man, I
done lost myself in all type of shit. You know,
like you you could try to achieve to make yourself
feel better. You could try to smoke all the way
(05:34):
in the world. You take all the d red, drink
all the alcohol. When it's a pain that you can't fix,
it can't be healed, It can't be it can't be modified.
It can't you know what I'm saying, Like, I just
don't know, you know what I'm saying. And I ain't
trying to be down and none of that. But I
promise I'm gonna be real. I promise I'm gonna get
out of me, man, and I just I just just
(05:55):
ride with me.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
You know.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
It's just episode too, it ain't I ain't gonna make
it too long. I just want to make sure I
did something right, get that shit out. And man, if you,
if you going through some pain, like we all are,
we all got our own piece of hell we gotta
walk through. But if you, if you going through a
loss and you feel like nobody understand and you don't
(06:17):
feel like you feel like you shouldn't talk about it
because no, you know, you don't want to bring other
people ship down. So you walk around with that ship
on you. You know what I'm saying. When you feel
a pain with if good, if shit go good, you
be wishing like you could just tell a person in
the world you love the most, like.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Like, man, just know you ain't alone.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
And I know I ain't alone those people out there
I've been to, you know, grief counseling, all type of shit. Man,
It's how it's a lot of people out there walk
with with the same ship.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Like it's hard.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
It's hard every day to get up and just keep
moving on, just thinking about what you lost. Like, if
you you going through that shiit, just know you got you.
You got a friend in the diet man, you got
a friend of the dozen.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Man. I love y'all.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
And if you're watching this weather, you six years, six seconds,
six millenniums past the time I've done this year. Maybe
I hope you know, you know I appreciate that shit man, Grandma,
I love you, girl,
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