August 18, 2024 • 11 mins
From the IHeart Podcast Parlor at the Allen County Fair, Russ Decker is joined by Brooke from You Matter to talk about the important work that they do for suicide prevention.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
All right, we are back at ACF four one one
the podcast coming live from the Allen County Fair and
where the iHeart Podcast parlor used to be the milking
parlor here at the Dairy Barn at the Allen County Fair,
but now it's our podcast parlor and its.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Powered by nutrient. We also have a few folks we
want to thank.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
We want to thank April Spencer over at Spencer's Sugar Shop.
She has a plate full of cookies so for all
of our guests they can grab a cookie when they
leave the parlor today. And we also want to thank
Allen County Dairy Services for basically giving up their space
so we could have the parlor.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
So thank you. And Alex Well for an engineer. Thank
you for me to hear Alex appreciate it. So joining
us in the parlor for this episode. We have brooke.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
From You Matter and you see them everywhere. I was
wearing one today, Right, I've got a couple at home and.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
So I know this.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
You've probably been asked this a million times, but tell
us about I guess the mission of You Matter.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
What message are you trying to get out there?
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Our message is to spread love and hope to hurting people.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
So the story is personal to you. It is do
you want to tell the story or not.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
We lost our sixteen year old son to suicide, and
we knew something needed to be done in the community
with the awareness.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
And so oftentimes people who are suffering from depression and
are having bad thoughts or just loneliness, they don't talk
to people. And I think I know even at work,
we spend a lot of time talking about mental wellness
with our employees and our contractors and about there are
people that you can go.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
To to get help. And I think that's really what
you talk about.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Is it's I love that it says it's not weak
to speak.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
Yes, yepd Do.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
You have a lot of people?
Speaker 1 (01:51):
So I know you were married at the popcorn festival,
you were up until.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Edo not too long ago. Yep.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Yeah, ann Arborg. Just last week we just came back
from me that.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
I don't know, everybody has one mistake, but but but.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
You know, you're all over with this message.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Tell me about the people that you're reaching. Do you
have a lot of people come out and go, Wow,
I'm so glad that.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
You guys are doing this.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
Yep, yep.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
There's people that come out that have been affected personally
by suicide.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
There's people that are struggling.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
There's people that will reach out after they see us
a week, two weeks later, will reach out. You know,
some people are just overwhelmed when they go past the trailer.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
You can visibly see it on them.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
They're not comfortable stopping, and they'll reach out afterwards and
tell us their story. Most people just want to feel
that somebody cares.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
They do.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Yeah, so so this, this whole topic is near and
dear to me. I don't have a personal connection like
you do. But I teach a class called mental Health
for State that we teach in a lot of businesses
and places, and it's basically kind of we're all on
the same side here. We're trying to tell people that
(03:08):
it's okay to want to talk to somebody and it's okay,
and then we try to teach in the first aid part,
we try to teach how to listen non judgmentally. Somebody
says I want to you had a minute to talk?
The answer should always.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
Be yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
And we're so busy we get wrapped up in our
own lives and sometimes it's hard to like yes, I
can take five minutes and hear what you have to say,
and if it ends up going into an hour, it
goes into an hour. But it's so important that people
don't think it's an imposition to talk correct.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
They just want a friend, They want somebody to listen to.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
And you know, sometimes you'd never I tell this when
I teach the class.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
But so I had a I teach part.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Time over how Northern and Ada, and I had a
student one time that came in after class.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
It's like, you have a minute to talk, And I
was like, yes, I always have a minute to talk.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Well, she was struggling and so we were able to
get her some help and connect her.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
To the people that she needed to to help her.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
So I think one of the things is as important
as being there to listen, is to be there to
like show them you truly care. Check back, Hey did
that work out for you?
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Did you know you're getting help?
Speaker 1 (04:17):
You like you're in a better place kinds of thing.
So when I did that with her, she was like, oh, yeah,
you know, she's telling me how great things are. And
I'm like, this is really good. So I asked her,
I said, so why me? I said, I'm only here
one night a week. You have people here all the
time that you don't care about you, So why me?
And she said, you know what, You're reminded me of
(04:38):
my grandfather, And I thought I could talk to my grandfather.
And so it's like, so, I guess my point is
you never know what that connection is. You never know
why that person might go. I think I could talk
to her, and you don't know why.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
But it's like you need to be there to.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
What's the biggest surprise that you started this effort? Because
doing this since twenty nineteen, yeah, you've really got launched
and everything.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
You've had to have some really surprises someone like, oh man,
I didn't know it was going to turn into this.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Well, that for sure. I had no idea. When we
started out. We had black T shirts. I just had
somebody tell us that I got the first T shirt.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
You had only black T shirts.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
I was doing it out of the back of my car,
and nine wristbands, nine colors of wristbands. So yeah, I
never ever thought that it would grow into what.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
It's grown into.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
And you had yard signs, and we have yards.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
We had a yard sign.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Out in front of our farm and I came home
and said, what's to deal with the sign?
Speaker 2 (05:45):
So then she was telling me your story?
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Yeah, and it was like, no, that's absolutely we won't
put that sign out there.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
But so I remember the black shirts and I remember
the signs, and I just thought I liked the message
is so simple that you matter?
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Yes? Do I like it? Because do people come up
to you and say, what's what's with the shirt?
Speaker 4 (06:04):
They do? That's all I wear is you matter? So
they do. They'll come up and ask me, uh, you matter?
What does that mean? And I will turn around and
let them.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Read the back of our shirts. It says, uh, it's
not weak to speak. Suicide is not the answer. And
then I can usually judge by their reaction if they've
been affected or if they're curious, and then that's how
I proceed to talk to them. And they'll ask me well,
and I can tell them we lost our son, started
(06:35):
the nonprofit and we just want to spread awareness.
Speaker 4 (06:41):
We want people to talk.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Well.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
I you know, I just think you're I think what
you do is just phenomenal. And I mean I just
I didn't even know you a few years ago, and
I just think what you do now is just I've
got I think several of your shirts in my time
and time.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
But you know the other thing that I hear.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
When I do the mental health for Stake classes, people say, well,
if you talk about it, or if you ask the
difficult question, but you have to ask, you know, you
have to ask this person, are you thinking about killing yourself?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
You can't tippy toe round.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
You got to ask them.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
And they're like, well, that plant the seed.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
And I keep telling them like there's an overwhelming study
and research and data.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
That's no.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
The fact that you bring it up is not planting
a seed. But if you bring it up and the answer,
then we need a discussion. If you don't ask, you
never know and you can't tip toe around the question.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
I think that's the hardest one.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
And I know I make when I teach it, I
make everybody ask two or three people in the class,
let's go up to them and ask them that question,
because the first time you say it out loud, it's like.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
That was hard.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
It's scary. It's very scary.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Because you're afraid of what the answer might be. And
then am I in a position to even help if
I say yes? And it's like, yes, you are you are.
I'm not the trained professional, but I know tons of
them and I can give them right.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
There's twelve options. Where do you have to start in? Yep,
and we'll just work through it together. Yes.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
Yeah, that's why I want the backs of our shirts
to be out there. Some people walk by really fast,
but I want the I want them to see that,
and I want them to be able to start the
conversation when they walk by and they see it.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
I want the kids. I hear the little kids asking what.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Is that, and I want the parents to have to
explain it's mental health, it's if you're sad, if it's
if you're happy, if you're lonely. You don't have to
say the scary words, but it's getting that conversation started.
I want to make the uncomfortable conversation more comfortable.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
And you know what I like.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
I like when you start at the wristbands, because I
think adults and teenagers were into the T shirts, but
the little kids love those ristbands. Yes, and if they
get a wristband, then hopefully mom and dad are brother,
sister talk to him about what.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
The wristband means.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
Right, you know, it's just you're.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Spreading the word.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
And so you know, maybe that eight year old grows
up with her wristband and she understands like, it's.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Okay to talk to me if you want to. Yes,
we'll go ask somebody, you know, talk to somebody if
I'm not feeling good. Yeah. I thought the wristbands are
a great addition. Are they pretty popular?
Speaker 4 (09:26):
They're extremely popular. Yes. A little girl came up last.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Night or the night before and she had about six
of them on her wrist and she was young, seven
eight maybe, and she told me she got them at
an event. We were out in Wallpark, and she had
just the sleeve of ristbands and she wanted more.
Speaker 4 (09:43):
So she was just she was young.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
And you know a lot of things that with the wristbands,
they'll have several then they give them.
Speaker 4 (09:49):
To a friend yep, yep.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
And so it's just like a force model player out there.
If you get this from your friend, it means more.
Speaker 4 (09:57):
Yes, And so I.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Think I just think it was a great idea. So
what do you what are you moving into next?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Have you got some secret new thing coming out?
Speaker 3 (10:06):
I'm not sure. I've got a lot of ideas. People
are giving us for other items to carry.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
So I mean I like the hot tub on top
of the trailer. That's new.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
I didn't remember seeing that's like, looks like a hot
tub area. Have to got the.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Flags and everything.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
Yeah, there's no hot tub. He's one of our helpers.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
I assumed he was friendly because big smile.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
So so so we'll wrap up the interview.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
But I guess I would ask you.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
I would ask you the big question, which is, if
you wanted somebody to take away one thing from our
chat today on the iHeart podcast, what would it be.
Speaker 4 (10:45):
It's not weak to speak.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
People are out there to help them right right, And
I'm even looking here, I think, is it.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Anywhere in the.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
US suicide Crisis Lifeline?
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Yeah, you call nine eight eighty your there's help the
other end. Brooke, thanks for being with us.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
We'll be back with more on a c F four
on one coming up soon
All right, we are back at ACF four one one
the podcast coming live from the Allen County Fair and
where the iHeart Podcast parlor used to be the milking
parlor here at the Dairy Barn at the Allen County Fair,
but now it's our podcast parlor and its.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Powered by nutrient. We also have a few folks we
want to thank.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
We want to thank April Spencer over at Spencer's Sugar Shop.
She has a plate full of cookies so for all
of our guests they can grab a cookie when they
leave the parlor today. And we also want to thank
Allen County Dairy Services for basically giving up their space
so we could have the parlor.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
So thank you. And Alex Well for an engineer. Thank
you for me to hear Alex appreciate it. So joining
us in the parlor for this episode. We have brooke.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
From You Matter and you see them everywhere. I was
wearing one today, Right, I've got a couple at home and.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
So I know this.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
You've probably been asked this a million times, but tell
us about I guess the mission of You Matter.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
What message are you trying to get out there?
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Our message is to spread love and hope to hurting people.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
So the story is personal to you. It is do
you want to tell the story or not.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
We lost our sixteen year old son to suicide, and
we knew something needed to be done in the community
with the awareness.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
And so oftentimes people who are suffering from depression and
are having bad thoughts or just loneliness, they don't talk
to people. And I think I know even at work,
we spend a lot of time talking about mental wellness
with our employees and our contractors and about there are
people that you can go.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
To to get help. And I think that's really what
you talk about.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Is it's I love that it says it's not weak
to speak.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
Yes, yepd Do.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
You have a lot of people?
Speaker 1 (01:51):
So I know you were married at the popcorn festival,
you were up until.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Edo not too long ago. Yep.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Yeah, ann Arborg. Just last week we just came back
from me that.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
I don't know, everybody has one mistake, but but but.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
You know, you're all over with this message.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Tell me about the people that you're reaching. Do you
have a lot of people come out and go, Wow,
I'm so glad that.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
You guys are doing this.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
Yep, yep.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
There's people that come out that have been affected personally
by suicide.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
There's people that are struggling.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
There's people that will reach out after they see us
a week, two weeks later, will reach out. You know,
some people are just overwhelmed when they go past the trailer.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
You can visibly see it on them.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
They're not comfortable stopping, and they'll reach out afterwards and
tell us their story. Most people just want to feel
that somebody cares.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
They do.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Yeah, so so this, this whole topic is near and
dear to me. I don't have a personal connection like
you do. But I teach a class called mental Health
for State that we teach in a lot of businesses
and places, and it's basically kind of we're all on
the same side here. We're trying to tell people that
(03:08):
it's okay to want to talk to somebody and it's okay,
and then we try to teach in the first aid part,
we try to teach how to listen non judgmentally. Somebody
says I want to you had a minute to talk?
The answer should always.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
Be yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
And we're so busy we get wrapped up in our
own lives and sometimes it's hard to like yes, I
can take five minutes and hear what you have to say,
and if it ends up going into an hour, it
goes into an hour. But it's so important that people
don't think it's an imposition to talk correct.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
They just want a friend, They want somebody to listen to.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
And you know, sometimes you'd never I tell this when
I teach the class.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
But so I had a I teach part.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Time over how Northern and Ada, and I had a
student one time that came in after class.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
It's like, you have a minute to talk, And I
was like, yes, I always have a minute to talk.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Well, she was struggling and so we were able to
get her some help and connect her.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
To the people that she needed to to help her.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
So I think one of the things is as important
as being there to listen, is to be there to
like show them you truly care. Check back, Hey did
that work out for you?
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Did you know you're getting help?
Speaker 1 (04:17):
You like you're in a better place kinds of thing.
So when I did that with her, she was like, oh, yeah,
you know, she's telling me how great things are. And
I'm like, this is really good. So I asked her,
I said, so why me? I said, I'm only here
one night a week. You have people here all the
time that you don't care about you, So why me?
And she said, you know what, You're reminded me of
(04:38):
my grandfather, And I thought I could talk to my grandfather.
And so it's like, so, I guess my point is
you never know what that connection is. You never know
why that person might go. I think I could talk
to her, and you don't know why.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
But it's like you need to be there to.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
What's the biggest surprise that you started this effort? Because
doing this since twenty nineteen, yeah, you've really got launched
and everything.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
You've had to have some really surprises someone like, oh man,
I didn't know it was going to turn into this.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Well, that for sure. I had no idea. When we
started out. We had black T shirts. I just had
somebody tell us that I got the first T shirt.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
You had only black T shirts.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
I was doing it out of the back of my car,
and nine wristbands, nine colors of wristbands. So yeah, I
never ever thought that it would grow into what.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
It's grown into.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
And you had yard signs, and we have yards.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
We had a yard sign.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Out in front of our farm and I came home
and said, what's to deal with the sign?
Speaker 2 (05:45):
So then she was telling me your story?
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Yeah, and it was like, no, that's absolutely we won't
put that sign out there.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
But so I remember the black shirts and I remember
the signs, and I just thought I liked the message
is so simple that you matter?
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Yes? Do I like it? Because do people come up
to you and say, what's what's with the shirt?
Speaker 4 (06:04):
They do? That's all I wear is you matter? So
they do. They'll come up and ask me, uh, you matter?
What does that mean? And I will turn around and
let them.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Read the back of our shirts. It says, uh, it's
not weak to speak. Suicide is not the answer. And
then I can usually judge by their reaction if they've
been affected or if they're curious, and then that's how
I proceed to talk to them. And they'll ask me well,
and I can tell them we lost our son, started
(06:35):
the nonprofit and we just want to spread awareness.
Speaker 4 (06:41):
We want people to talk.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Well.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
I you know, I just think you're I think what
you do is just phenomenal. And I mean I just
I didn't even know you a few years ago, and
I just think what you do now is just I've
got I think several of your shirts in my time
and time.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
But you know the other thing that I hear.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
When I do the mental health for Stake classes, people say, well,
if you talk about it, or if you ask the
difficult question, but you have to ask, you know, you
have to ask this person, are you thinking about killing yourself?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
You can't tippy toe round.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
You got to ask them.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
And they're like, well, that plant the seed.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
And I keep telling them like there's an overwhelming study
and research and data.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
That's no.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
The fact that you bring it up is not planting
a seed. But if you bring it up and the answer,
then we need a discussion. If you don't ask, you
never know and you can't tip toe around the question.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
I think that's the hardest one.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
And I know I make when I teach it, I
make everybody ask two or three people in the class,
let's go up to them and ask them that question,
because the first time you say it out loud, it's like.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
That was hard.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
It's scary. It's very scary.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Because you're afraid of what the answer might be. And
then am I in a position to even help if
I say yes? And it's like, yes, you are you are.
I'm not the trained professional, but I know tons of
them and I can give them right.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
There's twelve options. Where do you have to start in? Yep,
and we'll just work through it together. Yes.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
Yeah, that's why I want the backs of our shirts
to be out there. Some people walk by really fast,
but I want the I want them to see that,
and I want them to be able to start the
conversation when they walk by and they see it.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
I want the kids. I hear the little kids asking what.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Is that, and I want the parents to have to
explain it's mental health, it's if you're sad, if it's
if you're happy, if you're lonely. You don't have to
say the scary words, but it's getting that conversation started.
I want to make the uncomfortable conversation more comfortable.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
And you know what I like.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
I like when you start at the wristbands, because I
think adults and teenagers were into the T shirts, but
the little kids love those ristbands. Yes, and if they
get a wristband, then hopefully mom and dad are brother,
sister talk to him about what.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
The wristband means.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
Right, you know, it's just you're.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Spreading the word.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
And so you know, maybe that eight year old grows
up with her wristband and she understands like, it's.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Okay to talk to me if you want to. Yes,
we'll go ask somebody, you know, talk to somebody if
I'm not feeling good. Yeah. I thought the wristbands are
a great addition. Are they pretty popular?
Speaker 4 (09:26):
They're extremely popular. Yes. A little girl came up last.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Night or the night before and she had about six
of them on her wrist and she was young, seven
eight maybe, and she told me she got them at
an event. We were out in Wallpark, and she had
just the sleeve of ristbands and she wanted more.
Speaker 4 (09:43):
So she was just she was young.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
And you know a lot of things that with the wristbands,
they'll have several then they give them.
Speaker 4 (09:49):
To a friend yep, yep.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
And so it's just like a force model player out there.
If you get this from your friend, it means more.
Speaker 4 (09:57):
Yes, And so I.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Think I just think it was a great idea. So
what do you what are you moving into next?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Have you got some secret new thing coming out?
Speaker 3 (10:06):
I'm not sure. I've got a lot of ideas. People
are giving us for other items to carry.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
So I mean I like the hot tub on top
of the trailer. That's new.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
I didn't remember seeing that's like, looks like a hot
tub area. Have to got the.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Flags and everything.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
Yeah, there's no hot tub. He's one of our helpers.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
I assumed he was friendly because big smile.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
So so so we'll wrap up the interview.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
But I guess I would ask you.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
I would ask you the big question, which is, if
you wanted somebody to take away one thing from our
chat today on the iHeart podcast, what would it be.
Speaker 4 (10:45):
It's not weak to speak.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
People are out there to help them right right, And
I'm even looking here, I think, is it.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Anywhere in the.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
US suicide Crisis Lifeline?
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Yeah, you call nine eight eighty your there's help the
other end. Brooke, thanks for being with us.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
We'll be back with more on a c F four
on one coming up soon
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