EP166 - Entevista | Cortar de tajo con la Adicción al Alcohol

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Because no aunt bought it and notbecause you' re older you' re
going to die before or because you' re playing two. Much after this,
it can happen then what I havebeen doing at those times, or
in these days or in these years. It is to enjoy every day as
if it were the last, towalk my son smile with him, to
hug him, to tell him thatI love him, to mark my parents,

(00:24):
to tell him that I love them, because if at any time he
becomes missing someone, or I fail, because I go calmly, you know
that what they say, what Icould have done in life, I did
And that, then, to givedeath to my family. Welcome. Welcome
once again, my name is GregorioChiñas and, as always I welcome you

(00:46):
to a new episode. Episode numberone hundred sixty- six of the Addiction
Farewell podcast. Today, as youmay have noticed, will be with me
ever again. I ask you,please, it' s listening to the
whole episode, because even to theend, don' t go ahead,
by the way, because I knowyou can go ahead and go to the

(01:07):
end. Then, then listen tothe conversation I' ve had with Hebe,
because I' m sure there aremany things you' re going to
be able to appreciate, especially becausethere are things that we' ve been
told before, there are situations thatI' ve both experienced and also the
things he' s done, thereasons that led him to stop and,

(01:33):
above all, how he' sdone it and what the future holds for
him. I' m sure that' s gonna help you if you hear
it from the beginning to the endwithout jumping anything. Then I ask you,
please, give yourself a chance tolisten to the episode. But before
I move on to the episode assuch to my talk with edr let me
remind you and that you can contactme e- cohore Gregory Arroba goodbye addiction

(01:59):
as being in case, you wantto participate in a recording of an episode,
or if you want to receive thequestions that I regularly ask to the
people who are going to participate,I send them by mail to them to
prepare the topic a little and thenthey come and participate with me recording it.
But if you want nothing more,stay there and receive those questions,

(02:20):
answer them and send them back tome so that I read them that is,
then so be it, because younever know when you can change someone
' s life and sometimes, sharingwhat you have experienced in those answers to
those questions may be what someone elseis waiting to take that first step to
change their life. Then please sendyour request to the correlectronic. Gregory Arroba

(02:47):
addiction com I would also like toremind you that you can listen and subscribe
also with a completely different content todayon YouTube page YouTube Diagonal YouTube com Diagonal
Adiósción. There you go. I' ve posted the episode now in the

(03:08):
week, as I actually say inthe part of the talk I had with
Ever. Now in the week Ipublished a thirty- minute episode where I
share eleven ways, eleven things youcan do to stop your alcohol consumption.
I' m not sharing that inaudio. So, if you' re

(03:29):
in a position to watch that videoon YouTube and since you' re there,
you sign up and activate the notifications. Well, I' ll thank
you very much because you' dbe helping me keep passing the message and
also make that episode and podcast alittle more visible as such to other people

(03:49):
who may need you to share it, share the video episode, share the
audio episode to help me keep passingthe voice. Well, then I don
' t want to entertain you anymoreto see how you' ve been all
right. Gregory, everything' sfine. Let me begin to see,
as I always do, it istradition in this podcast to ask this first

(04:10):
question just so that the people whoare listening to us at this time will
help you. They help us rather, help themselves to give you a face,
namely, more or less a littlemore of you so that it may
make them a little more sense alsowhat we' re going to talk about
ahead. So, let me askyou first. Please tell me where you
live, how old you are,what you do to see. Of course

(04:30):
I do, Gregory. I currentlylive in the State of Mexico. I
lived in the city for a goodtime, but I moved like this for
almost a year and this is anemployee of this bank company, but I
was born in Guerrero. So I' m from the South, but I
' m radic in the State ofMexico for work. We are not countrymen

(04:55):
almost to see because I am fromOaxaca, you are a warrior, so
they are the United States before inthe Mexican Republic. You live in the
State of Mexico, one of theStates with the most population than the one
with the most population. In fact, in the Mexican Republic you can say
more or less how old you areever because I don' t know if
you left it aside on purpose.Or not, no, no, no,
I didn' t. Yeah,I' m thirty- one,

(05:16):
and I' m a dad toa kid who' s a year and
a month old. There it isthen just to give us an idea.
It helps us a lot, becausethere might be someone there who is your
age, who has an experience,a place similar to where to live and
even a three- year- oldbaby. Then it is possible that they
identify a little more and those thatdo not. Whatever it is, I
' m sure that some of yourstory will surely also help them understand what

(05:39):
they' ve been through or aregoing to do or they' re going
to be able to do then bygiving in and seeing it also another part
of the talk that we' regoing to hold today. This podcast initially
came up to talk about alcohol oralcohol consumption, as surely there have been
people who have talked about another typeof substance in your house to see what

(06:00):
substance your problem was. Alcohol inalcohol has been a constant until a little
while ago, about two years ago, but it was mostly alcohol. Today
I tried at the time and atthe party, I passed the cocaine.
I think once or twice marijuana,because it was just a recreational, more

(06:20):
to see what this feels like,but nothing more. But so, what
affected me most at the time,this was alcohol. I know you had
a relatively daily consumption, if nota daily consumption maybe. In that case
I' ve seen the best foryou two years ago and fraction was say

(06:45):
the culmination of a long way.Sometimes there are people. In my case,
I began to see at twenty-two, twenty- one or so,
and until you reached thirty- six, almost forty. That' s
when I said face to face I' m already a lot in your case,
how did this start seeing, becauseyou' re still young.“
From my point of view,”he said to me,“ you are

(07:09):
practically a young man and at theage of thirty- one you have already
wanted to stop, that was twoyears ago” In fact, you were
twenty- nine that you wanted tostop what it was like then that it
started and how bad it was thatit got to be you know starts.
I think you' re starting alittle late, not at twenty- one.
I started out as being interested inalcohol at a young age. I
don' t know ten years anymore, eleven years, and then you see

(07:30):
it. I don' t mean, I think it' s been a
long time that you' re seeinghim with your family. Not because alcohol
consumption in families is so normal thatif you don' t, you'
re abnormal, not this one,but I started touching it. No longer
achieved after a while, not obviously, but at the twelve years that went

(07:50):
to high school the parties and hereand there. Then later in high school,
a little bit of it didn't prevent him, a little bit,
that is, he was afraid ofhim and after I turned nineteen,
it was like from then on I' m no longer old, not what
I think every person expects when he' s young. I don' t

(08:11):
want to go to be big somy love won' t scold me.
Not that what this one thinks butyes, after well, I lived in
America for a time up to twothousand eleven. Of two thousand eleven yes,
and I arrived in Mexico City intwo thousand eleven, on the 21st
of August to be exact, andI devoted myself a little at a time

(08:31):
to football, like two years.So full, and because my motto was
no optomo because I am a footballer, no or am a sportsman, but
then I kind of didn' tfollow things. And I' ve been
getting deeper into alcohol. No,but it did begin to get much worse
after two thousand sixteen, you cansay, but it took occasionally between two

(08:54):
thousand twelve, two thousand three totwo thousand and six. He took it
that way sporadically or socially, asthey call it. But after a while,
I already started drinking more, itwas already every weekend, it was
during the week and it came tothe point that I took two kawamas,
two that are like three liters aday, if not up to three.

(09:18):
And that' s when you saylisten, this is no longer normal,
it' s no longer sociable,he' s drunk all the time.
So for those of you who don' t live in Mexico and don'
t sound like kawamas, especially inother Latin American countries that listen to ever
and also in Spain, a kawamaI actually got into was going to check
because I didn' t know howmany millitres. Not that I don'

(09:39):
t know the kawamas. Obviously Iknow them, but the normal kawama that
later was a bigger one, evenbut let' s say the ant kawa,
the one that was will be ninehundred forty milliliters. So, for
those people who don' t knowkawamas to get an idea, we'
re talking about you drinking around ninenormal cans of beer that are known anywhere,
although already in fact, that wouldgive you another topic. They'

(10:01):
re already making bigger cans, they' re making cans of almost half a
liter also in certain places. So, for us to get an idea of
how much you were seeing in agreementthat you commented was practically nine cans of
beer a day, practically daily.No yes, and if I bought a
twelve or a twelve cans, Iwould take them in a sitting. I

(10:22):
mean, that was my goal.I didn' t at first take my
twelve and if I wanted more,for it was easy, I didn'
t go to the store or buyany more. That was weekday. It
was not as mild as can besaid, or it was relaxing just to
take between weeks and the weekend,as it was to get stuck. It
wasn' t about hitting him witheverything. If there were six kawamas come
seven kabomas come, it was thedoom. You had a high resistance and

(10:46):
tolerance. At first, yes andyou know something funny that happens good.
My step. I don' tknow if the people who started taking it
noticed it because I' ve cometo think that they' re like faces,
not that you start taking it andsuddenly you kind of stick it in
a good way you' re calm, you feel like you see people.
That happened to me you see peopleand all of a sudden you say that

(11:07):
I' m well off, notanymore I think that no longer, but
suddenly you jump to another level,that you' re no longer sitting watching
people, but you go and messwith people to keep drinking. And then
comes the person who takes more thanyou and makes a challenge and you end
up really bad and then you goon to the last phase, well,
a phase higher or more to thebottom, which can be said where you

(11:28):
already become a fool or a baddrink that they call him no that you
are already looking for a fight andall that guy. That' s how
I staggered. Not first it wasquiet, then I' d kick him
out more later, since I kindof wanted to fight everybody. Not because
I was looking for him, notbecause Carlos didn' t like me and
because he was already grumbling not andbecause I felt brave. You know when
you' re already taking this one. But, yeah, look, in

(11:52):
my case, I don' tremember commenting on it. I don'
t know if I said it orif I said it, I said it
a long time ago that I don' t remember, but I don'
t know if you' ve beenlucky, unfortunately, to see the tolerance
I have to any tepalcol already,that beer or any kind of strong liquor
isn' t very big. Inother words, I get drunk, fast

(12:13):
or fast go. If we compareit to those who also have a similar
problem, then, in my caseit doesn' t matter what it is
after three or four and I'm half already a little bit more.
For what I' m telling you, I' d like to see you
back a little bit because I knowwe talked about it a while ago,

(12:33):
too. I told him that whenI was a child at the time I
went to some party, I hadthe alcohol in the house because of my
father seeing them forever, and mymother was very impressive in the sense not
she, if not from here,you do not take. That' s
why I started until I was twenty- one or so. And to see
why I, even if I waseighteen and nineteen, still my mom scolded

(12:56):
me then already after I gave myselfa few getaways and well, already that
I started with that experience. ButI remember also as a child at a
particular party, having drunk cider,because I don' t know if I
could say that I experienced my firstdrunkenness or not, but it certainly had
some effect. You started to knowalcohol here when you tell the twelve thirteen

(13:18):
that it' s been more orless the average lately in Mexico and in
many countries, or you had theopportunity to also see it and try it
from before. Yeah, you've known my older brother since before,
because he was the one who consumedhim most frequently and when he lived with

(13:39):
us at the warrior ranch and Iremember a song that was a party and
that is, nothing more. I' ve got like flashes of watching me
pick up the beer cans. Idon' t remember the details very well,
but I remember very well that youwere looking for the cans of beers
that the adults left and I tookwhat was left over. No and then
it was just curiosity and possibly itwas with other children we think three,

(14:01):
and I want to think that thatwas the first time I touched alcohol.
No And then because I consumed itand this funny thing was that when I
was going home, this one almostfell out of the truck. So,
now that I' m already moreaware of that and I' m trying
to remember certain things from my past, because I appreciate that I didn'

(14:22):
t fall because if I didn't imagine, I would have stepped on
something. But this one but yes, I mean, it' s just
little details that you don' tsee until you' re not aware of
what' s already happened in yourlife and it really influences the end of
the day at home. What wasit like to watch consumption, Mom Dad,
because as you say to the bestas a child, you are not

(14:43):
conscious and after adult or teen andyou are already a little more conscious.
Usually we begin to imitate or curiositycomes to us. I remember my first
cigarri and I did it out ofcuriosity because my dad smoked it. In
fact, I was the one whogave them to you as a child and
she would tell me to lend methis one and I would go as a
child and he would start giving histouch astigar to learn it. No.
Then there was something at home thatmight wake you up more curious than usual.

(15:07):
Either it was another kind of wayto get closer or then evolve a
little bit with alcohol. Well,look at that. I remember that part
of the party. I don't remember seeing my dad drinking and if
I saw him, then surely somethingblocked me, because I don' t
remember seeing him. Yeah, withthe can of beer I saw it or
I got to see it super drunkand to the point that it got super

(15:35):
violent and that image I have aswell as super saved. And every time
I say I' m gonna takea cella because I can control it.
I' ll give myself a chita. You can share that experience that you
have in your mind to see.You can or it' s very personal.
Yeah, otherwise, no, no, it' s okay. Yeah,
I think that' s all Igot. Me too, my sisters,
because there were several of us there. I remember once my dad came

(15:56):
home from town night,' causeit' s the ranch and he was
super taken. And so I remembercoming in and looking for my mom and
I don' t know what.He told her the joke that was made
as a fuss and wanted to hither. My brother came out, they
grabbed him together, they threw himto the ground, they tied him from
the entrance door to the kitchen andthe front entrance door, that is,

(16:18):
he was small, they called hima runner and tied him up and there
he lay who fell asleep. No, but yes. Now I understand why
when there are screams and so somethingloud scandal, like I' m staying,
as well as I' m takingshape, that is, I stay
as perplexed for a while and suddenlyI' m starting to react and,
obviously, my heart is pounding.So yeah, I got that one,

(16:40):
super- marked. That experience.It was the only time you saw your
father do that or anything at thatlevel, or it was the only time
you could appreciate it. That partprobably wasn' t the only one,
because it asked my mom and shegave me and said no, because it
was shot for a trip it wasn' t every weekend or it was something
to incontrar, but surely the othersblock them. I think that because of

(17:03):
that one that happened to me itwas like the one that the next one
I didn' t keep because,because they' re not pleasant memories you
know, but at least I haveone left that I hope never to replicate.
This time I' m going toask you about that part, because
I was thinking about it once Iwas thinking about it later, when you
were also aggressive if at some pointit would generate a certain guilt, because,

(17:25):
in fact, there was an episodethat I titled it. I don
' t want to be like mydad, even though he was someone I
was practically interviewing. That was theobservation he made in that interview that he
didn' t want to do likehis dad. I, in fact,
identified myself a lot because it wasmy mantra for many years in your case,
when you experienced that aggressiveness in yourself, after having drunk, we might

(17:47):
have said some guilt, because maybeyou were getting close to doing something your
dad did before. If you didn' t want to do it, yes,
yes, yes, yes, Imean, the crude morale was the
one that passed me the most,part of that, because I was already
laying down my alcohol for the wholeday the next day. But if the
moral left of not knowing what Idid, what I said, that made

(18:11):
me sadder. You know, Iwas getting pretty depressed. Then this one
came home. Say, he wascoming home after he was drinking and he
didn' t remember how he gothome? I didn' t remember how
if there were stairs, because Iwas like the snail type, I didn
' t remember what. I wasgoing to tell my wife, you know,

(18:32):
that' s what you' resaying, I said I did this
one and then what I was doing, I would stop and check if I
was okay, if I wasn't hit, because if I don'
t remember anything, because I didsomething and I don' t remember,
I have to check. No,but it didn' t get to that
point. Then I think I stoppedin time what would have happened one day,
you would have dawned and she wouldhave been hit. No, I

(18:55):
never would have forgiven myself, youknow, I think they' re one
of the things I' ve alwayssaid you should never hit a woman.
So be the reason, because whateverI am, I' d rather get
out of the house or just walkaway and get to that point if that
had happened, I don' tknow what happened, but if I had

(19:17):
taken cars in the matter, theywould have sent me to jail. Surely
not, because it' s kindof logical, no, but for me
I would never have forgiven myself.You think I say because those mental gaps
are sometimes the worst. That's not good, the worst. There
are many things that are rarely worsethan that. No. But at least
internally, emotionally or morally, it' s even one of the things that

(19:38):
hits us the most. No.I remember that when I also came to
the house, especially living in Mexico, here is a little different. Let
' s say in Canada that eventhat, when I do, when I
lose that consciousness through mental loopholes andso on, in most cases, I
' m in the house then likethere isn' t much, but I

(20:00):
' ve also got up not necessarilywith that uncertainty really saying I hit my
wife that like it' s alreadyautomatic. I know that didn' t
happen or, but yes, atleast to say child, what I did
or what I said or how Ioffended her or, maybe I said something
that also, obviously upset her forsure, and it' s like the

(20:22):
truth to live and wake you upthen that way is never ever right.
And in Mexico, there' sthe truth. I don' t feel
proud at the time, or Ialso aired it in an episode when I
crashed on several occasions and most ofthe time, probably in one of the
stories I told the alcohol, hewas not involved, but also getting home.
I don' t know or seeif you brought your wallet, your

(20:47):
phone the car, if that waswhat you were wearing, how you got
here, etcetera. It is somethingthat, perhaps many people who listen at
this time have already experienced. Butif it hasn' t happened to them,
please, I hope you don't get to that moment, because
the truth is that it' squite complicated, quite difficult the power at
its time to feel good again.Don' t ever go back to the

(21:11):
point, going back to your story, I know that situations evolve at the
time. You' re in touchwith alcohol a little more often than the
nineteen years you said already so theywouldn' t tell you anything in the
house and even though you said itvery quickly, maybe that already after it
evolved up to two thousand fifteen andsixteen, etcetera. What happened in that

(21:33):
intermission, how, how it wentdown. It was completely social, but
how did you get to drink everyday, because you don' t realize
it. You know if you're not aware of what you' re
doing in your life, specifically alcohol. You don' t realize when all
of a sudden, you don't take everyday anymore. No. For
example, I ran out of themI married my wife in two thousand sixteen

(21:56):
and she' s been with meever since. He didn' t play
Sundays in a little town about anhour from town and he was with me.
At first it was because everything wasfine with me. We didn'
t have a car, we wenton the bus and every once in a

(22:19):
while I got back, already drunk, but instead, suddenly we bought a
car then, because I kept doingthe same thing and now driving and I
got to the point that I gotsuper pissed and I drove back like this.
I don' t remember. Idon' t think if I start
thinking, I don' t rememberthe way. As I got home,
you know, that' s all. I have the memory that I came

(22:41):
home and you know the whole timeI drove. I don' t know
what happened, and it was severaltimes, several times, or several Sundays
that we played. The point camethat he told me I' m not
going to play anymore, I'm not going to watch you play anymore
and I' m not going toaccompany you anymore, because this thing that
you were doing driving the drunk isexposing me and I told him, because

(23:02):
you know it' s worth itat that moment because he' s not
making himself aware of what you're doing and he was going alone.
Then the point came that I wasgoing alone and I was still doing the
same thing and I was going backfor a drunk before I got married.
Like with my cousin, we tooka lot, I started with football and
I respected it for a while liketwo years and I already took it a

(23:25):
lot at that moment, yes,from time to time, but after I
stopped totally, because I already dedicatedmyself to work and to take this one
when I bought a car later Isold it for the same thing that I
said if I keep doing the samething of driving drunk. In this car
I' m going to kill myselfand that edition I took because once we
went to play football, we wentto play, we went back to another

(23:49):
little town, left a friend andyou know not a twenty- four.
Well, we' ll take itfrom there. We went for another twenty
- four to another house and thejoke that I came home about two in
the morning and during the course ofthe trip, I remember that I was
super upset and I was blowing upthe bumps, that is, not as

(24:10):
the dead went, I flew themand the car was short, that was
almost hitting the floor itself and withthe bumps they were going more boom.
I got home, put the carin the other day I neon it.
I worked, I had to work. I didn' t work, I
stopped to get the car back,and I turned it on, and there
was a weird risk. That's what I said, I don'
t think I' ve already damagedit, and after a while I said,

(24:33):
I' d better sell it,because this can' t go on
like this. That was one ofus too, we were coming in the
same way from football already super lateand I fell asleep and suddenly I felt
like I gave the car a stooland I woke up and just went super
slow about ten kilometers and I almostwent out on the street, woke up
my stool. No, and Ifart. And that was another experience.

(24:57):
The other one was that we wentin the pixie this way one hundred and
sixty kilometers an hour and we flewthat way it was like a little one
like that on the track. Ifelt like the car that even took off
the ground and fell and this Isaid no this, those episodes I had
said no, no, no,I think they are ideal for my life

(25:18):
or for my future. And inthe weeks I published the car and sold
it I ran out of car,but yes, it' s a danger
to drive drunk notice. How rightnow I would ask you that sometimes,
as in your case, the solutionwas to sell the car, but we
are not able to see that thesolution is to stop seeing no yes,

(25:41):
yes. In theory it should besimpler, because sometimes the car uses it
to see. But in case,in case we experience, that no one
experiences in another' s head,we have to go through our own,
our own way, our own experiences. You commented on the questions I asked

(26:06):
you about the answers you returned tome, that you identified with Tamara.
She has participated and, in fact, remains in contact, by the way,
with Tamara. When I have sometimesasked what the background was, you
touched that if there was a particularbackground, that if there had actually come

(26:26):
a major event in your life,either it had been an accumulation of things
you said. You know you didn' t and as you identified with Tamara
in her story, see what itreally took. Well, we already realized
that it wasn' t necessarily thethings that happened to you with the car,
because you sold the car then whathappened then that made you reflect a

(26:49):
little more, when I heard thepodcast or when you recorded with Tamara,
he said something very important. Hesaid yes, he got tired of living
that life and I, when Idecided to stop drinking, I said I
' m tired of waking up lateI' m tired of doing I was

(27:11):
my wife that we' re fighting. For this reason, I am very
often tired of skipping work when Ishouldn' t. I' m tired
of feeling that way the next day, from drunkenness, from raw morals and
raw because it' s normal andI said, if I don' t
do anything, I' ll doit. You know as much as you

(27:32):
want someone to tell you is doingsomething wrong, because it' s not
going to happen because people don't know you. You know all by
yourself, you have to understand andbe aware of what you' ve done
in your life. If something isn' t helping you to be better,
throw it away right away, thenI said I' m tired and I
just said tamara is right, I' m tired, then. If you
' re tired and I feel tired, then I think it' s one

(27:56):
of the strongest reasons to start doingthings differently. But from now on,
notice that initially the podcast that Iwas listening to at the time when I
also started my story of making thisgod addiction podcast. They kept repeating a
lot. I understood it at thatmoment that I was saying in Stark I

(28:17):
' m tired of being tired andI didn' t try to understand it
and although it seems very simple I' m honest with you when you haven
' t really experienced it yes,sounds good, sounds nice, like you
think you understand it, but whenyou' re already going through it like

(28:38):
you went through it, like atamara, I did it as well as
I did at the time. I' ve been touched several times and you
know I don' t want thishand anymore. I don' t want
to get up and feel the sameway anymore. I don' t want
to be able to sleep for severaldays anymore, I can' t anymore,
I don' t want to feelthis way at work, etcetera.
So, like you say, italready accumulates so much that it really makes
you think before you move on towhat you get. I also want to

(29:00):
ask you what, in theory,would happen in the future. Let me
get back very liqueurly something ever becauseI went over to ask you You tell
me that you really didn' trealize when you went from social consumption to
virtually no longer social consumption. Let' s leave it that way, not
social anymore, you didn' tneed anyone to keep drinking. I have

(29:22):
mentioned a lot to Dr Gabor Mateand the ideology that we try to cover
the problem, that we have someproblem, whatever this is with addiction,
although in this case with consumption,as in your case with alcohol. You

(29:44):
think there was something to do withthat understanding that you have of the things
that you lived, the things thatyou went through, the experience that you
already have, after two years ofbeing in sobriety practically? You think that
seeing practically every day on weekdays,weekends, etcetera, was really to cover
something up and you had the chanceto identify it, or you think there

(30:08):
was nothing. That' s wherecovering up ah is a good question and
I keep working it because just abouttwo weeks ago, I think I had
a meeting with a person and hetold me. He tells me I see
you, I see you as sad, I see you as scared. I

(30:29):
don' t know anything, somethinghappened to you, I don' t
know this one, and I'll tell you anything else. I was
shocked that, as I have,hemophilia is a problem in the blood,
in the population, and I bitmy lip about two weeks ago and my
blood didn' t stop. Sothis one if I panicked or started imagining
ugly things. You know how tomiss my wife, for example, my

(30:53):
son and I said this our father, because my son stayed alone, you
know, and that didn' tplease me at all. Then I kind
of freaked out. I don't think I know if it was that,
but he said it must be that. Maybe that was it. But
then, since we finished the talk, you told me your posture that it
' s like hunchback, as wellas humpback. He says that' s

(31:15):
like abandonment. You know, ifsomething happened to you in childhood, you
have something there and I' mtelling you, I haven' t really
thought about it, that' sall. I remember my dad went to
America when I was about eight.I believe something like that and I tell
him and I have a little detailthat when I see a reunion it makes

(31:37):
me so sentimental, you know,so I cry. So, any reunion
I see crying says it must bethat and it must be that kind of
good something that happened to you thatyou feel like abandonment and recommended me a
book of Orihuela anamar, which isthis treating childhood wounds. Something like that,
then I' m one to one, I keep reading it, and

(31:57):
I am. I keep working andtrying to figure out if there was anything
there while I was drinking. Icould tell you, right now, I
saw it as a void, becausethat doesn' t know, too.
I don' t think my wifetold you. I think so, I
just went to work at the companywhere I am. It' s been

(32:19):
almost a year and I' vebeen going on with the drinking of alcohol
and then the cross of morality andall that and there came moments that I
felt so lonely, so empty thatI came in like twice or three times
to think about taking my life.And now that I think about it,
he' s also right about alcohol. Not because alcohol doesn' t help
you feel better. You feel betterwhen you take two cellas and I feel

(32:44):
fucking ready, but if you keeptaking the next day or the consecutive days
you get depressed. So alcohol isa depressive cannon. Not in the moment
after it already comes to you likethe chin I feel, I feel worse
than before not and it will accumulate. And I think it might be that
I felt like a void, butnot like the people around me, but

(33:07):
I just felt like that, youknow, like weird, like useless,
nothing, I felt super bad andwith alcohol. I feel like I got
the point, because I felt better. You know what it was like to
give me up. But it isnot the solution. For those of you

(33:30):
who are listening, it' snot the solution to feel that way,
it' s not the solution.What I would recommend, what I did
to myself is get close to apsychologist and talk to him about my farts,
as people say. And now thatcounting farts and it works, you
feel better at the end of theday, but yes, it has to
see something there already if on anotheroccasion we talk again, since there has

(33:51):
been the book, since I havea little more awareness about that, I
could tell you more, but fornow I think nothing more. That was
a void that I had in therevery very very cannony and it is look,
totally valid to see well I haveread the book of I have not
read the book of the author thatyou comment, but I have read a
couple of books and had the opportunityto have a course with the good virtual.

(34:15):
If you want Dr Gabormate, andhe does, I' ve said
it a lot. I have talkedand on several occasions about the idea that
what happens to us in children hegoes even further, even that what happens
to us in the womb of ourmothers has an impact on our life already
as adults and when you really wantto think about it. If you give

(34:38):
yourself to the task briefly say goodwhat happened as a child, the things
I remember and the things even that, maybe I' m covering up intentionally
or subconsciously, if you give yourselfto the idea of all those things that
mark us from the things we learnedalso because sometimes we see above all those
who are parents will know that.I believe more than I already imagine that
we intend to imitate what we seeat home, that we learn is like

(35:04):
society. Occasions we learn from othersaround us, from attitudes, from things,
from how they react, from howthey solve problems. There are things
that solve problems by shouting and that' s what we want to do too,
because it' s the way welearned when we were kids and maybe,
as adults, we can maybe processit differently. But going back to

(35:25):
Dr Gabor Mate, he' scompletely focused on addiction issues and the way
he asks that I want to havethat ability to ask you right now to
see and take you on your wayafter three or four questions, to actually
get you to realize that' swhen you were a kid, that'

(35:47):
s what really marked you and that' s why you did what you did.
But I' m not. Obviously, I don' t have Dr
Cabormate' s ability or experience topreace those questions. However, I do
agree with the idea of being ableto do that introspection and share it with
someone else. I think it wouldcertainly benefit all of us. Not because
it' s worth understanding why we' re doing it. In the previous

(36:10):
episode of beaty foot boy I sharedthat when this person goes to a meeting
of anonymous alcoholics or twelve steps,he says you don' t know that
my problem someone asks him tells youwhat your problem is, because I'
m an alcoholic and I' ma drug addict. Ah well, I
don' t know, it's not your problem. That' s
the way you' re covering upyour problem, or with gas- stated

(36:32):
anthrola what' s your real problem. And that' s it. If
we could truly answer that question forcertain, then I think it would be
easier to then find out what itwould be or what it would be we
would have to do. But thanksfor sharing that part, that part of
your life. Seeing you got tothe point where you said so far,

(36:55):
in fright, between being tired,being tired and deciding to do something relatively
atypical. And I' m tellingyou because, after all, I'
ve read it because of the answersyou sent, and that' s why
I got a lot of attention andI said you know what a good topic

(37:16):
can be to share it with others, because regularly we always use the same
methods and you may have been andhave followed a few steps. Let'
s say at a certain point differentthan that. What did you decide to
see already once you said, okay, I have to change this. Quitting
alcohol is my goal of life.So you said and how you then focused

(37:37):
on conquering that goal. I sayit a lot and I think it'
s awareness to be aware every dayof what' s going on and more,
if you have an addiction, beaware of it. This one let
me tell you something fast about whathappened before and I think a lot of
it happened to them. I thinkit' s like part of the process

(38:01):
and I' m telling you becauseit' s going right by the hand
of when I decided to stop drinking. I don' t have the exact
date, but I remember it wasa Christmas. It was like December 25th,
two thousand and twenty- one.I think something like that. The
joke I put on a super fart. You know what you say another day
you say today I won' tdrink again, not then, that time

(38:22):
I said I won' t drinkagain and I stopped drinking for like six
months. And but look what's going on here. If you say,
I' ll stop drinking, butyou say it, teeth out,
so you don' t feel itor you' re not convinced in the
subconscious. I' m saying thatbecause it happened to me in the sub
- Cunescient you say, but whenI feel good, I' m going

(38:43):
to drink and that happened to me, I said I' m going to
stop drinking. In December I spentsix months and do not remember if it
was the 19th of May. Tobe precise, we were in a meeting
with some new friends we met becausewe had some puppies and we gave them
one there and how we were goingto meet them to see how they'
re going to treat us. Youknow how to see if they were in

(39:05):
good hands, we went out toeat and everything, and I remember we
went to a bar and being thereI had been feeling almost six months and
this one I said well, aGerman beer. Not so that it doesn
' t affect so much, becauseit was that time, that day,
from that day and it was Ithink the two thousand twenty- one,

(39:27):
so I took a guaba then gotwo, then three and all of a
sudden, because you already say controlthe alcohol. I' m not drunk
anymore,' cause taking two threeis fine. It' s not normal
in quotation marks, but it wasincreasing again the intake, that is,
I was getting drunk for a weekend. So, one weekend, not well,
I rested already mor has made menext week and then it came that
I got drunk twice in a rowI rested two and then I told myself

(39:52):
I was drunk the four weeks ofthe month And so it went up to
the point that I was already drunkevery day. It' s not and
when this happened that I said youknow what. I don' t want
this for my family, I don' t want this to Samar here.
I' ve been holding on forso long, because if I told you
it was two thousand and ten thatwe got married until the two thousand and

(40:12):
twenty two that I stopped drinking thisone, that is, water, I
couldn' t take enough time,and obviously I don' t want this
for my son. Then it wasfrom this date that and I shared it,
this date that I put in thenotes to because I left I started
to write everything that was going onin my mind from the second day I
stopped taking was the two thousand.On July 11, two thousand twenty-

(40:35):
two I stopped drinking and began towrite what was going on every day in
my mind starting on the twelfth andI remember clearly what I put from this
moment on. Well, yesterday's date I decided to stop drinking and
I almost cut it off. ButI can' t cut myself because the
blood on the neck. I signit with blood and yesterday I went through
it, I felt like chill,so it gave me something to remember the

(41:00):
date I decided to stop taking andobviously that didn' t just say I
stopped drinking and that' s it. No. It is not aware that,
as you say or say the alcoholics, one day at a time and
so I took it one day ata time, one day at a time,
I looked for information, I lookedfor books, I looked for podcast,

(41:20):
in fact, the podcast that youand I found in a desperation of
that time that I decided to takeit as I made it look. We
' re looking for a podcast andI got into Spotify and I get you.
I hear an episosode and in almosteveryone I heard I nodded that what
happened to the person was happening tome or had happened to me. I

(41:44):
remember this episode of a boy,a person driving drunk and reminded me not
when I did it and got thepoint that he killed himself but he was
driving him. I don' tknow if you remember that someone else drove
and crashed and killed himself. Theother one you know that I had never

(42:04):
done, nothing had ever happened thisone and I said Chang well, I
mean, it' s not uglythen, because it was that decision to
stop doing it and seek help onmerits, own, podcasts, motivation videos
on YouTube, books, for example, the one I sent you a long

(42:24):
time ago called the power of thesubconscious mind of Steam Murphy, that book
if I read it three times andevery time I read it, I take
out new things. That' show it started and it' s also
actually achieved for everyone, only thosewho want to achieve it. It is
both in Spanish and in other languages, and I think it has value,
especially because at that moment, alreadyafter a long day, we need to

(42:46):
find that peace. I want toshare from also seeing and sharing the person
who listens to us at this momentthat, after having removed that noise that
I had in my mind that thenhappens to me, I have not yet
found someone who tells me that itis the same thing, not because it
is unique, but cynically to thebest. I didn' t ask.

(43:07):
But when sometimes I go to bed, when I all have those obsessions,
those compulsions, I can' tcalm my mind, I can' t,
to the extent that I have toput on the hearing aids look at
how it' s curious, Istart to hear something else so I won

(43:28):
' t be thinking then my mindis aimed at what I' m listening
to and then that' s howI council the dream. The fact is
that when I have returned I wantto share it again, I have returned
to prayer and see that I donot know if it is, obviously,
that peace of mind, that spiritualsituation, as you would like to call

(43:51):
it. But days have passed andI have no need to put absolutely anything
in my ears in order to considerthe dream. And it' s amazing
how a practice of something can helpus a lot to change our day,

(44:13):
because if we do it at bestin the morning or help us to rest
and, perhaps try to reschedule ourmind in the course of that night,
then let' s not continue tosee. If I may, then that
was a combination. To make thedecision, to truly believe the decision.

(44:35):
Nothing that I will stop taking forthirty days and but already the tre you
are already waiting, like crazy,the thirty- one day to start again
truth, but to say ah then, nothing more until you see that I
have said that the addicts have orwe have very short memory. No,
and that happens to everyone saying Iswear and I perjure that I don'
t and even if you don't tell the truth consciously or subconsciously,

(44:59):
don' t be wanting to drinkagain, that you say it truthfully with
all your heart, so that youcan, as you say, sign it
in blood, too or with blood, but we forget, We forget very
fast, very very very fast?On the occasion it may take days,
weeks, even months but we forget. Then we are very susceptilles, then

(45:19):
doing it at the outset with theconviction that you are going to do it
and that, besides you have todo something else, as in your case,
read practice and do some other things. I believe it is the best
solution to continue along that path.And you don' t have to be
either, because thinking that already bymagic, it' s going to disappear.
Sometimes that desire doesn' t seeyes, yes, it' s

(45:45):
funny because obviously you become the thoughtsthat I drink a beer and nothing happens,
I drink two and nothing happens.No, or I' ll take
one and not anymore. And obviouslyit' s also a lot that you
tell someone what you' re doingand I don' t know if it

(46:06):
' s intended to help or notto help, but they put in the
idea of ah but if they're all right. No, I mean,
there' s no other you knoweither. Just when I decided to
do it. The last drunkenness Iput on was with a neighbor who became
a very close friend of mine andappreciated it more. When I decided to
stop drinking because at first it waslike I was saying chinita or what and
I said no, güeyota didn't. Thanks and all of a sudden,

(46:27):
like the week or the month sawthat I was serious about not taking.
Then Güey told me you want todrink. I bought you some in
alcohol and I fucked up not orrespected my decision to the point that I
never said we took it again orwhat, because it was like that I
looked at myself, because we werethe ones who almost always took it.
He and I saw me and chela. Okay, so Simon, take it
that way. That' s howwe started and finished well. Farts this

(46:50):
one. But when I said youknow which wey I already alcohol is no
longer for me, I already decidedto root all this and I want to
do other things that I don't have to see an alcohol. And
I liked it so much that heaccepted my decision and didn' t want
to interfere with it to spoil it. You know the opposite, and he
supported me. You know if youdon' t take shit, it'

(47:12):
s okay. I took one ofthe normal ones and we had a zero
or not. And all right,and I appreciate it more about roots because
he' s a good friend,not like he' s a friend he
' s not gonna tell you no, you know ass take a no.
If you say I will not takeit, then it is respected and no
longer and I told my husband tosay if there are people who will stop
talking to me, or they willstop frequenting me, because I said this,

(47:34):
stop taking, because with sorrow,that is, first I am,
then my family comes, because ifI am not with this family and I
said with pity, friends that Ihave many years, my cousin, that
we were also the drinkers and Idecided also to get away from me,

(47:55):
because no way, it is notlike it is to end the world.
No, and I think that happensa lot when you decide to do something
that involves others, because you thinkthey' re going to get away from
you and then I' m notgoing to see my friends anymore, we
' re not going to be ableto live together anymore, and that shouldn

(48:15):
' t hurt. You know,first you have to have your mental health,
your physical health, your family,before those meetings, I mean,
they don' t bring you much. You know it' s from the
taker, because it doesn' tgive you anything. You know, before
I prod you, and how goodfor your friend, and how good he

(48:36):
' s proving it. I wasgonna say look at me then you'
re telling me. I was gonnasay those. There are few, but
not the best of facts, ofthese perhaps. There are many, but
we don' t dare say whatyou did or what you said and see
the reaction of others. No,and that before I ask you, right
now, about your wife, howshe reacted and how she was with the
actuality that you live right now.Watch Let me also tell you that in

(49:00):
the video I posted on YouTube nowin the week, the number seven point
that relates this friendship, the numberseven point that I share there that,
by the way, on YouTube iscalled eleven ways to stop your alcohol consumption.
It is the title of that videothat says number seven is to be
attentive to group pressure and you practiceways of saying non- courteously if you

(49:22):
don' t have to drink justbecause others do and you shouldn' t
feel compelled to accept every drink theyoffer you stay away from people who encourage
you to drink. And I thinkthat' s very clear. When you
care about yourself and you' rethe one who puts yourself as a priority
and then your family and so on, no doubt the others would see you

(49:44):
if they didn' t care.Unfortunately, that is not what they will
say. And in education it isto submit to that pressure, because it
costs work. But to your wifeever after seeing you I see you every
day and drunk every day. Iguess it was really nice news when you
told her, you know, whatI' m not gonna take anymore.

(50:05):
I didn' t tell him,you know why, because a broken record
has already appeared and I' vesaid it many times. This is the
last one now. And then Isaid why should I tell him something if
I fail him again, you know, because I disappoint him again. I
told myself, you know, what. I' m not going to tell
you anything until I' m alreadysafer than what I' m doing and

(50:27):
have more or better bases in thatregard. But he realized that I stopped
doing it because it wasn' teven a chelita anymore, it wasn'
t even when we went out withfriends to eat or something either, I
mean after I already told him,you know, what did I decide to
do this? And then he washappy. Obviously, he told me I

(50:50):
' m really glad you decided todo this and I support you and I
just think you were going to askme once when it' s been so
long since we talked about this supportnot that you have that you have with
your family. In my case,my wife, because I live in Mexico
State, and nothing else. Ihave as a family my wife, my
son, my father' s family, a cousin who was with whom I

(51:10):
came back to America, but fromthere on out nobody else. My dad
lives in a warrior. You're both here. Then I have no
more relatives than mine, my ownfamily. Then I support myself a lot
and I thank him very much forhaving endured my motherhood for as long as

(51:34):
I write it in my notes,because, well, it' s not
going to be easy, you know, living with an alcoholic. It'
s not easy. No, it' s not easy, completely. No.
Let' s not leave it tothe imagination. It' s not
easy, period, period, yes, no, no, no, it
' s not easy, because onethinks it, because you attract pure,
pure, miseries, fights, unnecessary. I don' t know, it

(52:00):
' s an ugly way to live. You know always keep in mind that
if it' s going to take, it' s going to come,
it' s going to love me, it' s going to give me.
Yeah, yeah, I mean.I think I don' t know
if he' s really drinking,I don' t know if he was
drinking before he met her. Andthat' s irrelevant. No, because
what it was wasn' t inyour time. It' s okay.
No, but I think he alsodid it with the desire to live with

(52:22):
me, because since he met me, notice this funny, when he met
me and gave him that head thatI remember him, when he met me
he went very hard, he wentwith my cousin, we arrived at my
cousin' s house where I livedwith it, with my cousin and with
him, and they invited us toa meal the neighbor, because she is

(52:43):
there, to the part of theapartment. And when this samada came in
there with her aunt and she looksat me really bad and says she still
laughs, because she says it can' t be, because she already said
when I saw you I knew youwere for me, like I did this
song but she says when I sawyou so fart I said but it can
' t be. I mean,how can it be him, Mr Super

(53:06):
Fart and her, because you don' t like the idea of one taking
or taking people going this one butI do leave enough that I endure so
long and when I decided to stoptaking, it obviously wasn' t like
ah. Have one. No.On the contrary, it was as if
you weren' t going to drinkalcohol, because I didn' t just

(53:28):
drink alcohol either that it' slike ay la chela too. No,
no, it' s no morewine. But that doesn' t even
disincline with a glass of wine,because neither, when it was just fresh
that it has left me, decidesto stop drinking, doesn' t tell
me of ah, because we aregoing to prote of wine. He did
not respect that part too, becausethe temptation is very, very heavy after
you stop consuming it, but Ihave had a lot of support from her.

(53:52):
Too much support. What good?What good? And he already believes
you, after all this time,now yes, he says this yes already
did in itself because I don't know if he believes me not the
truth I' m going to thinkthat yes, but it' s beyond
that I believed it. I knowbecause if it' s in me,

(54:14):
if I believe in me things happen. If I leave it adrift it can
fail, then I totally agree toleave it that way. My friend,
so to speak, believes me well. If I' m not going to
believe it, I' m goingto make sure it' s okay.
In fact, the comment goes morehand in hand with what has always been
engraved on me. This about MrRafael' s doctor, from one of

(54:37):
the first episodes, where he commentsthat, after having made the decision to
stop seeing, after having also promisedto see on many occasions said my family
did not believe me and they hadto pass for five years and I hope
that I hope it does not takeso much time for you, but it
touched him. It took him fiveyears to be over for the family to

(55:01):
say ok. I think it's serious this time, not then,
then, hopefully, I mean,but yeah. No doubt what you'
re talking about is the most importantthing. As long as you believe it,
the rest comes from itself. No, and I' ve said that
many times too. If you're okay, if you' re working
on you, if you' refeeling better by inertia, then the rest

(55:22):
has to be better. People aroundyou are also positively impacted. That'
s why. It doesn' tmean he' s gonna be free of
trouble and that' s how you' re gonna live. I did all
that stuff to her that you didn' t live before. You are not
a much more balanced person and youhave a way of living those things that

(55:43):
are presented to you and you observethem and you live them in a different
way that you would have done.If you hadn' t stopped, then
that leads me to ask you whatthe future holds. And it' s
not like you' ve already toldus, Ahorita, that well, fortunately
you' re living in sobriety andso on, but how you look in

(56:04):
the next few years. And nowyou believe it, that you believe it
and that you still believe it,that the immediate medium- term future holds
you back. There are people whodon' t like me asking this,
because we want to think it's one day at a time and why
look at what' s coming ina week. I think that, being
balanced is also worth thinking, Itis worth having a thought about a future.

(56:28):
Living one day at a time,then what you' d like to
be, how you look. Youthink if this is over in the past,
what are you going to do inthat immediate future to stay sober.
If that' s what you want, what' s going to happen yesterday.
You can keep working it, orthis is a constant job. If

(56:51):
you know that you are weak tofall into those claws of alcohol, you
have to be very conscious and keepworking the diary, then I don'
t intend to leave it in thepast anymore, I begin to revive it
mentally. It' s how myexperience with alcohol was and getting hold of
me, you know, that's where I get the strength to keep

(57:13):
up with my goal of life.As I put it it sounds pretty strong,
because I put it on, Iput it on and I read it
and I said Chin this is forlife. You know, it stays,
it' s perpetual. But Idon' t mean, I' m
not going back to those experiences andwhat the future holds for me. I
could tell you, Right now,what I' m doing is enjoying my

(57:38):
son, amusing my son, mywife, enjoying life. Go enjoy every
day as if it were the last, because recently a niece of mine died,
she was twenty- one years old. I stopped him and when I
marked him my brother answered me andhe was shattered, no and I told
him to read me half- heyit is I know that this will happen

(58:00):
to us at the very moment.Not because no aunt bought it and not
because you' re older You're gonna die sooner or because you'
re playing two. Much after this, it can happen then what I have
been doing at those times, orin these days or in these years.
It is to enjoy every day asif I were the last, to walk
my son, to smile with him, to hug him, to tell him

(58:23):
that I love him, to markmy parents, to tell him that I
love them, because if at anytime he becomes missing someone, or I
fail, then I leave quietly.You know what they say, what I
could have done in life, Idid and that, well, give my
family death. That' s good. I really liked that, especially because,

(58:43):
well, when you have an experiencelike that, it makes you think
like they know, and I lostmy sister last year. In fact,
it happens so fast that now,in April, next month, a year
is celebrated. I can' t. The truth is, I can'
t believe it. A year ago, on that day that I landed in

(59:07):
Mexico ready for a vacation that mywife and I had not had since the
beginning of the pandemic, In fact, that it was postponed for all that
time that arriving that day, Idid not know what I expected at night
to have that news that shakes everything, everything, everything, everything that one

(59:28):
can in his time think or feeland realize that that can happen to us
as you comment. In my case, I say my sister was fifty-
three years old for today, thatage is not necessarily older. So if
it makes you rethink some things againand it' s good that you are,

(59:50):
obviously, going through what let meshare with him. I put you
at the point with him the lightpointing at you. We' ve talked
for a long time now. Ialso don' t know when we started
studying to talk about it already hasa year, also a little more,
I don' t know we wentthere too, but there was always that

(01:00:15):
true, not without resistance. Ithink from the beginning, in fact,
you put me in charge of offeringto participate, but you gave us the
little things. But about two orthree weeks ago, as you rightly say,
and you' ve already told mewhat happened. But something was born
to you, something you told me. And I think that moment you were
in the hospital and you gave Gregorand I want to record Gregory, I

(01:00:37):
want to say this that I havethen what really motivated you internally to see
doing it, because I think itwas a sequence of these events that happened
to me at that time, thatis, my niece' s death.
Then I' m going to goto the hospital, that is to say,

(01:01:00):
very light to go in and breathethrough a bite in my mouth.
But when you have a blood problem, it' s nothing, it'
s not significant, no, andI think we talk about it anyway.
My wife told him you' vehad that test since I heard you and
she made you. He also listensto you from time to time when he
goes to work, tells me Ilistened to this podcast and this video episode

(01:01:22):
and says he starts telling me whatthis one felt and tells me but why
you don' t. You should, because someone can use something that happened
to you or someone can tell themsomething you' re doing to get away
from alcohol. No, and thenyou' re right. I mean,
it can be insignificant for a personwho can be a signifier for someone else.

(01:01:45):
We' re all different at theend of the day, but I
said why not, why if thatperson who' s listening to me reflects
on my story or keeps thinking aboutit, no, because I think it
happens a lot that you say I' m going to quit, but you
wonder why. And rather, it' s questionable why you keep taking no,

(01:02:07):
that is, why you take them. And when they don' t
bring you any benefits, talking aboutzero health talking about problems. Many this
then nothing more. Gregory was bornto me and that day was ten o
' clock at night and not bad. I remember texting you. You know
I' m convinced I' mready' cause I said if I go,

(01:02:28):
I wake up and I' mcrazy. I' m not sending
it. Today I' m goingto tell her you don' t know
what better, not better. I' m sending it, right now,
and he' s telling me allthese days, I told him that'
s how it was going to bea yes- yes. But it was
that gregory simply because telling people thatyou can. If you want, you
can, you can. And noticethat and I know we talk about it

(01:02:50):
and I repeat it and I repeatit. And every time I say goodbye
to those who listen to me,you never know when you can change someone
' s life and I don't want them to think I' m
saying it was light. I'm saying this because something happened to myself
that someone said, something that wasa little something that I highlighted. Also
in the book I read about actressBayo La Davis, just a little while

(01:03:16):
ago the whole book. He madea small fraction of no more than one
paragraph. It made it worth itto have read the whole book. And
the same can be true of thehistory we go through. It may be
that from this that you and Iare discussing today I have seen someone some

(01:03:37):
of this that you have just shared, it can make the difference even between
life and death. When I gete- mails, when they tell me
you helped me or someone who saidsomething in some episode except my life.
The truth is that that' sall it does is make me feel even

(01:03:58):
more compelled to tell others don't miss the opportunity to share your experiences
no matter how they didn' twork with you that they' re moderately
working, because you don' tknow with someone maybe they' re gonna
work. So this thing you sharedtoday to see without a doubt, hopefully
and the truth, I' msure there' s going to be someone

(01:04:20):
there who' s going to saythank you Heber for having had the courage,
because I recognize it, it's not easy on occasion to get
on a microphone and be questioned foran hour. Then the truth is that
my respects and hopefully, I insistthat this is going to help others.
Before you ask yourself what recommendation youcould give others are experiencing the problem you

(01:04:43):
experienced just over a year ago.I have seen let me ask you that
is a question that has added tothe questions that I regularly send out because
because it made me think at somepoint we listen and if I am going
to go to the past of ifI see myself, apart from giving some
sappes to myself that is not güey, that does not let me be carried

(01:05:03):
away by what people say. Apartfrom giving me some sapes, I would
also like to give me some advice, since one person already a little more,
obviously more adult. So what wouldyou say to that person who is
now perhaps discouraged, cabisbajea or evenperhaps drinking or perhaps recovering from a complicated

(01:05:24):
moment that has obviously led to addiction. What would you say to that person
today, what would you tell himto do I would tell him it'
s not worth Gregory, that alcoholis not the solution to any problem?

(01:05:45):
And I' m telling you becausethat' s how I saw it from
time to time, not with mymental farts. I thought it was the
solution. But it is not thesolution to any problem. And if they
got to this point or looking forhelp in a podcast, it' s
because there' s already a problem, you know that' s how I
came up looking for solutions, lookingfor something to help me. If you

(01:06:08):
come to that, to this pointof seeking help, of seeking advice and
thus means that there is a seriousproblem with alcoholism, then it is time
to reflect. It' s timeto sit in a single room and start
thinking about everything that' s happenedin your life and the cork of the

(01:06:30):
solution. If you' re intime to quit at once, it'
s not the solution. No doubt, never, never will be and you
look at it is complicated, becausewe know that until times do not come
to us at that moment it isnot well they say that they can tell

(01:06:55):
us things or even we can veryconsciously tell someone, to someone else to
see but in ourselves it is different. You have to know, you have
to experience it, but you don' t necessarily have to go through the
worst situations of your life to realizethat alcohol or substance addiction really is,

(01:07:16):
whatever this is some behavior that's affecting you that' s affecting your
family. You don' t haveto wait until you lose your family,
lose your material things, and obviouslythe most precious of all, until you
lose your life. There if youwouldn' t notice it anymore, obviously
because you' re already dead.But at the end of the day,

(01:07:38):
you wouldn' t have to waitfor all that to happen, although your
right is to live things and makea decision. I knew as to that
moment I would then come to see. There is something else you would like
to say that we have omitted hereat this hour and fraction that we have

(01:08:01):
already been talking about. There's something else to point at. There
' s some comment we' vemissed, some question I didn' t
ask you, or something that justcomes out of your snoring chest. Before
we close the episode, I mustbring you something I' ve been thinking

(01:08:21):
and doing. This is to showhim the love you have for your family.
I don' t think any mom' s wrong when you say don
' t drink. It' sjust that and the other thing, and
I think many people have been toldthat they don' t, I mean,
they don' t do it forfuck' s sake, you know,

(01:08:42):
it' s not because they wantto send you or they want to
impose you. It' s justthat they' re not right. And
what I' ve been trying todo lately is to take advantage of every
moment I have with my son,to approve every moment I have with my
wife, every time I see myparents that we don' t go frequently,
but every time I see them,take them, consent, take them
to eat like buying what I haveto buy the favorite food, buy them

(01:09:04):
what they need the same with myfamily, it' s with my wife,
it' s my wife, it' s my cook, you know,
consent, because I think that's the most important thing in life,
live it at 100%, giveyou 100 percent of your family.
And I say so. I sayit that way because when I took them
I left them aside and I don' t know if I think a lot

(01:09:25):
happens to them, not that you' re drunk and, instead of you
being home with your son, withyour wife, with your mom, living
together hugging them, what do Iknow you' re there, like I
said, we say b vulgarly,worth a gate. Then that' s
it. That' s what's most important in life is to live

(01:09:47):
with your loved ones, hug them, dad throw them out, because there
' s a time when they're gone and I' d like to
close the time. Then nothing thatif you' re here right now listening.
This is time to change. Thankyou so much. Evert. Don

(01:10:08):
' t look for the way out. Don' t look for the solution
to your problems in YouTube comments.Find the way out. Find an alternative,
Find a solution by asking people thatyou have to ask them that there
are addiction specialists, which doctors,which psychologists, that there are people prepared

(01:10:28):
with the proper certifications to guide youand although the willpower is probably at the
beginning, it should not be theonly tool that we are laying hands on.
No, but well, said tothat, thank you very much for
participating today. Thanks Gry, thanksto you for the invitation. Well,

(01:10:51):
thank you so much to Ever forgiving me the opportunity to record today'
s episode and to share with meand you the things he' s been
through, quite personal issues, asyou may have noticed, and hopefully take
something with you today, part ofthat learning. What he has made the

(01:11:15):
recommendation that he has made us tolive life fully, to love and give
love and to be evident that wewant to share our day- to-
day lives with the people we want. So, hopefully that can help you
cheer up, see obviously, thethings you have to see and stay firm
on that road, that you're probably already walking soberly. Or encourage

(01:11:42):
you to take that first step tolook for that recovery you may be needing.
It' s good, I'll say good- bye. Then
I remind you that you can contactme e- coho Gregory Arroba a god
addiction com and that you find mealso on the YouTube page, YouTube com
diagonal a addiction with exclusive episodes forthat channel. Well, remember, there

(01:12:08):
are people who love you. Remember, there are people who want to see
you get over your addiction. Don' t turn your back on him,
talk to them head- on andask them for help. You' d
be surprised to see how many peopleare ready and happy to give you that
hand you need so much and ifyou' re in a position to give

(01:12:29):
that help, to be able tohelp someone else who may be in a
desperate way screaming inside for someone whocomes to help you walk that stormy path.
Please do, because you don't know when you can change someone
' s life. Okay. Myname is Gregorio Chiñas. Here we hear
each other in the next episode ofaddiction dadis until the next