June 9, 2024 • 50 mins
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Un mejor oyente
Chris Marshall, de 41 años, llevaba 10 años sobrio debido al alcohol cuando decidió abrir un bar. A su local, Sans Bar, en Austin, le falta una cosa: alcohol.
Chris descubrió en la escuela secundaria que beber era una manera fácil de encajar. Pero encajar no significó vínculos fuertes y dice que el alcohol se convirtió en su automedicación para la ansiedad y la depresión. Después de abandonar la escuela, Marshall dice que su vida comenzó a descontrolarse hasta que ingresó en rehabilitación a los 23 años y encontró la sobriedad y la conexión.
Redefinir el éxito
Jason Schneidman, de 54 años, ha cortado y peinado el cabello para Rob Lowe y James Corden. Pero es su trabajo con las personas sin hogar lo que realmente lo empodera.
CUANDO CUMPLÍ 30, SE me cayeron las ruedas. Fumaba crack y consumía metanfetamina. Me sentía miserable y sabía que tenía que cambiar. La falta de vivienda me hizo buscar rehabilitación, de la que entré y salí durante cuatro años.
La información compartida en este podcast es solo para fines informativos y no intenta sustituir los consejos, diagnósticos o tratamientos médicos de ningún tipo. Por lo tanto consulta a tu médico o a otro profesional de salud si es que tienes alguna duda sobre tu estado de salud o de el como tratar tu adicción.
¿Te quieres poner contacto conmigo o participar en algún episodio? Mándame un correo a gregory@adiosadiccion.com y hazme llegar tus comentarios.
Un mejor oyente
Chris Marshall, de 41 años, llevaba 10 años sobrio debido al alcohol cuando decidió abrir un bar. A su local, Sans Bar, en Austin, le falta una cosa: alcohol.
Chris descubrió en la escuela secundaria que beber era una manera fácil de encajar. Pero encajar no significó vínculos fuertes y dice que el alcohol se convirtió en su automedicación para la ansiedad y la depresión. Después de abandonar la escuela, Marshall dice que su vida comenzó a descontrolarse hasta que ingresó en rehabilitación a los 23 años y encontró la sobriedad y la conexión.
Redefinir el éxito
Jason Schneidman, de 54 años, ha cortado y peinado el cabello para Rob Lowe y James Corden. Pero es su trabajo con las personas sin hogar lo que realmente lo empodera.
CUANDO CUMPLÍ 30, SE me cayeron las ruedas. Fumaba crack y consumía metanfetamina. Me sentía miserable y sabía que tenía que cambiar. La falta de vivienda me hizo buscar rehabilitación, de la que entré y salí durante cuatro años.
La información compartida en este podcast es solo para fines informativos y no intenta sustituir los consejos, diagnósticos o tratamientos médicos de ningún tipo. Por lo tanto consulta a tu médico o a otro profesional de salud si es que tienes alguna duda sobre tu estado de salud o de el como tratar tu adicción.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
The information shared in this podcast isfor informational purposes only and does not attempt
to replace diagnostic advice or medical treatmentof any kind. Therefore, consult your
doctor or other health care professional ifyou have any questions about your health or
your health condition, how to treatyour addiction. Welcome. Welcome once again,
(00:30):
my name is Gregori Chiñas and,as always you, I welcome a
new episode of goodbye addiction, anepisode that is being recorded on Sunday,
June 9, year two thousand twenty- four. As always, I appreciate
the opportunity you give me to bewith you for a few minutes today.
(00:51):
What I' m going to betalking about is the continuation of the last
episode to one hundred and seventy-three. This is the one hundred and
seventy- four where I told youthe story of a doctor, well at
least what he shared in an article, and today I will be sharing that
of two more people, Chris forty- one, Jason fifty- four,
who have been in solitude for severalyears. It is a brief note in
(01:18):
both cases and I will be supplementingit with certain comments. You know about
the usual Spotify section of questions andanswers and also you will consider, by
the way, alcohol- free beerpossibly and also if it gives us time,
mental health. Well, as Ialways ask you, please, on
(01:38):
no account, would you like tocontact me. Do it to the e
- mail. Gregory Arroba Goodbye addiction, com or that you can also head
to the YouTube page, YouTube comdiagonal arroba arroba addiction and there surely we
can get in touch. Okay.I know that those who let me know
(02:00):
how to make a podcast, anepisode that is, and that, to
the point they would be completely angryat what I' m going to do
right now, because it seems tome that I want to leave this at
the beginning and not at the endand what I mean by how you might
have noticed. If you' vealso heard some of the previous episodes,
(02:23):
I' ve been a little inconsistentwith what' s been going on,
the publications of the episodes in manymonths or years were week after week in
a consistent way. Now, likeI said, before. I am in
a stage of self- knowledge,self- discovery, also of many other
things that I am doing then that, that prevents me from coming so frequently
(02:49):
and rewinds every week, but thatI promised myself here, I will be
here, I will come as manytimes as possible, either because I have
already generated some content that I wantto share with you, or because also
questions of time, compromises allow me. Unfortunately, I got sick how you
can hear forgiveness. I don't want to erase all this, because
(03:12):
that' s gonna make me haveto edit the podcast a lot, but
I got sick. I want tothink it was a flu or a cold,
but at the time of coviding thetruth, anything can be covid and
it was a week of quite suffering, quite exhausting. But I just want
to share this with you for thefollowing. The week before, that week
(03:34):
I was sick, I was subjectedto a lot of work stress. I
like what I do, I likemy job. I enjoy to a certain
extent what I do, but itwas say a week of quite a workload,
of a major stress, end upvery tired at the end of the
day, by completely almost all week. And I don' t mean physical
(03:54):
tiredness. It is necessary that that, however it is respect to all those
who have to do a physical workdo you end up very tired. I
mean that mental tiredness of having processed, of being alert or you have to
be practically without blinking almost all day, because there are many things to solve
and I think that that was whataffected so that God did not know if
(04:18):
it was Mexico or Latin American issues, or what I already know you will
tell me that you tell us notif maybe your defenses were low, because
your organism as such, your bodyas such, was very tired and that,
maybe allowed the entrance to any bug. I want to think that maybe,
that' s why I got sick. But now, fortunately, there
(04:40):
are already some indications that that happenedas a result of being a little bit
more mortified than normal and with certainphlegms. Obviously you might see that I
have to put a few pauses inthis episode from time to time. Well,
since I told you all this,I hope you' ll also be
(05:02):
patient to accompany me whenever you haveto be here. A greeting, by
the way, to my friend fromColombia, which is how he asked me
to say it. Then he'll know who I mean if you e
- mailed me. Please be patient. I' ll be reaching out to
each and every one of them,as I always promise. If you have
(05:23):
offered to record an episode, ifyou have already answered the questions as well,
I thank you very much for havingdone so, give me the possibility
of being able to organize the thingsthat are happening around me that, in
fact, I will tell you anupdate of my current situation with the question
(05:43):
of sobriety and truth is hoping thatwe will talk, but yes, please
have a little patience. Don't get discouraged. There' ll be
time for advertisers. This podcast hasn' t closed or shut down what I
' m doing any longer. It' s more time to record the episodes.
Well, going in there for ifyou' re still here and you
haven' t been very desperate.A better listener is the part Chris Marshall
(06:06):
has shared and so has been titled. Remember this is taken from some articles
that I found in those sites thatI then start to navigate and in which
I understand, it may be perhapsbeneficial for you also to share this type
of experiences. Then I start withthis part of the text. A better
(06:27):
listener. Chrismash Marshall, aged forty- one, had been sober for ten
years because of alcohol when he decidedto open a bar to his local Sansbar
in Austin, Texas. She's missing one thing. Alcohol comments Chris
as the only black child in apredominantly white neighborhood. Chris discovered in high
(06:51):
school that drinking was an easy wayto fit in. The same thing happened
with the life of university fraternity,but fitting in did not mean strong ties
and says that alcohol became their self- medication for anxiety and depression. After
(07:12):
leaving school, Chris says that hislife began to run out of control until
he went into rehab at the ageof twenty- three and found sobriety and
connection. Alcoholism rots in isolation aftera decade of recovery opened sans bar a
place that could bring together people whochose not to drink. In fact,
(07:36):
he says they seem to connect toa deeper level, both between them and
with him behind the counter. Thisis what he has learned. Point number
one. From his learnings he sayshe listens with all his being. The
real conversation takes place away from thescreens, even if your smartphone is face
(08:03):
down on a table keep it inyour pocket and sit in a section of
the bar or restaurant where there isno TV in sight. Number two tell
the people you' re listening to. This may sound like I hear you,
Chris says. Short insights let theperson know that you are engaged and
(08:28):
encourage her to listen to the silenceis often not enough and her last point,
point number three, do not arrangeto listen. It' s not
about curing or diagnosing. He claimsit' s about being present. You
may be disheartening, but there isa lot of healing in the ability for
(08:52):
someone to listen to your connection withothers. It is often the reason why
we choose drugs, but we haveshown that social anxiety decreases in a state
of sobriety. Well, there's the part of this text then.
What corresponds to Chris, as Itell you, will also be the next.
(09:13):
Something short notice that something I didn' t plan to tell you when
I prepared this part of the episodetwo or three weeks ago, is that
yesterday antier forgiveness Friday, I hadthe opportunity to talk to a person from
work and this mental health becomes quiteevident and connecting. And that' s
(09:33):
where I want to tie both.Listening is very important. I had no
longer lied to you maybe a fewmonths after I hadn' t seen this
person in the office and I rememberedthat in that last talk we had a
few months ago, he told methat his mom was experiencing a type of
illness and that she had to helptake care of her. Then, when
(09:54):
I asked her early in the morninghow she was and how she was,
her mom answered me about the situationthat was going on and how she was
helping. The next question, afterletting her talk for a moment, was
the next one and how are youfeeling about it and the truth is I
(10:16):
think it was practically like opening avalve, a key for her to start
talking and talking and talking, andthe truth is you realize inside that part
that she was talking about was thatshe really needed and you understand when you
' re going to the best thingalready talked about with other people, you
(10:39):
realize when it' s someone whojust wants to take out all that stuff
that' s inside. It wasminutes, minutes where, as the text
says, the truth so far Irealized. I had the opportunity to do
a few words just to precisely showthat I was listening, always looking at
the person in the eye and tellinghim here I am here, I am
(11:00):
with you, I am listening whenhe pulls out all that and the truth,
after maybe about fifteen minutes of herhaving been able to pull all that
out, let' s say,we said goodbye and continued with his guide
in that talk. She commented preciselyon mental health, he even the need
to be taking antidepressants, but sherealized, according to her, that the
antidepressants ay instead of helping. Thetruth is, they weren' t benefiting.
(11:22):
He decided to face the fears,to face things, to face that
anxiety directly, let alone to havesome external factor, but to give face
to those problems that he was havingor that made him feel that way.
I wish, really. I wishwith all my heart that she could find.
(11:43):
Let' s say that situation thatallows you, let' s say
alleviate the way you feel today,because maybe. You also experience the same
thing. We have a lot ofstress, a lot of things to deal
with and we thought that our onlyway, as at the time she was
prescribed by the doctor, was theantidepressants. We prescribed author, we self
(12:07):
- recipe some substance, including alcohol. True, then, as she decided,
the same wish for you that wemight be able to if possible.
Obviously I' m not telling youthat if you' re taking any medications
like that, that' s all, because if you leave it consult your
doctor, as I always start theseepisodes. But if, in the case,
you are self- medicating yourself withsome substance, which you know is
(12:33):
actually being a part of your problem, I suggest you give yourself the opportunity
to reconsider and put some days orland in the way and see how much
it can help you, because sometimeswe need that clarity to be able to
face the problems that yes, bynot being at best numbed by the drug
(12:54):
we engineered, we have and aremore susceptible to feeling at best a little
bit of courage or feeling anger orfeeling stress or feeling anxiety. But it
' s precisely if at some pointwe don' t give ourselves a chance
to feel that way, then we' ll never be able to get out.
It says vicious circle. Okay,this one. So Chris' s
(13:16):
experience and I' m going topass on to share just as briefly Jason
' s experience. Let' sgo next. So it' s called
redefining the success of fifty- four- year- old Jason, he'
s cut hair and combed important personalitiesin Hollywood, but it' s his
(13:41):
work with homeless people that really empowershim. When I turned thirty, Jason
says, my wheels fell off,smoking crack and using methamphetamine. I felt
miserable and knew I had to changethe lack of housing. He made me
look for rehab that I went inand out of for four years. Recovery
(14:03):
didn' t work at first.It cost me an effort, but little
by little I began to feel betterabout myself thanks to therapy. Except that
even though I stopped consuming life Istill revolved around myself. I was buying
more stuff and bigger stuff just tofeel good. I didn' t feel
(14:26):
well. In fact, I didn' t feel as good as at the
beginning of recovery. I realized thatI lacked a key component to help others.
I filmed a TV pilot who wasgetting close to people on the street.
He cut their hair and transformed theirappearance. I realized that I lacked
(14:48):
a key component to help others.I cut a homeless, alcoholic man'
s hair. Nothing ever came outof the program, but a couple of
months later I realized the best partof the day was to help that guy,
so I started going out on thestreet regularly with a backpack and wireless
(15:11):
machines. I' ve been soberfor seventeen years and that job talking to
those in need of a simple serviceis what gives me purpose, vision and
a sense of living outside of myself. It has also changed the way I
(15:31):
do my daily work. I havea barber shop and a line of products
and some of the profits go torehabilitation centers and facilities for sober people in
Los Angeles that I recommend to somehomeless people fighting addiction. When I drank
and used drugs, my dream wasto be rich. I thought success was
(15:52):
a personal achievement. From time totime a homeless person who recovers returns and
visits me, they will say thatcutting their hair and talking to them changed
their lives. That feeling of givingback to others. That' s how
fine my success until then. Jason' s words the truth, as I
(16:19):
' ve been finishing some episodes fora while now, is that if you
have the chance to help someone else, to extend that hand, which is
so much needed, that the truthexperiences it is that you do. If
you' re within those possibilities,it' s regularly when we don'
t have to wait. I think, when we already have months or years
(16:41):
of sobriety. Sometimes, even ifyou have days or hours or simply simplify
the mental clarity of helping others whenyou have those stages where you can live
soberly maybe it gives you a verygreat satisfaction. And I think that in
part notice, in part it's the things that have kept me here
in the god addiction for all theseyears. Sometimes when I start to think
(17:06):
that it' s the things thatI enjoy things, that I don'
t enjoy the things that I comehere for so much and put all those
points on the table. I realizethat there is a very important part,
which is to help others, toreceive those emails or messages, to ask
(17:26):
or not to go or change itor not to close it, because there
is something that is found, something, something someone finds to be able to
use it their life or with somefamily member, and that makes me feel
that we can still make a change. Sometimes we think that if nothing else
(17:47):
changes, it doesn' t havea big impact on the whole world.
But we don' t get tothink that if you make a small change
in your life, either by helpingothers or by helping you make an important
decision, it can in turn branchinto your close circle or even not so
(18:10):
close. It may not be enoughto change the world, but on many
occasions we do not say or tellpeople that we want them to be our
world. Then it wouldn' tbe worth it, then change what we
can do or help who we loveor even who we don' t know.
Why, why can you be aworld, a whole world that will
(18:33):
be very happy and perhaps in needof that change, including you obviously comes
out I want to thank all thosepeople, as I said at the beginning,
who have contacted me, because thoseare precisely those who make me feel
that, just like this jason,from time to time it stops to cut
the hair off those people who needit, because in my case, from
(18:56):
time to time I also make myselfpresent here for You, who may be
needing these words, because also tosome feedback when I say it, because
as I told you also on manyoccasions, I sometimes say these words to
You, but also I am listeningto them myself as they come out of
(19:18):
my mouth. Well, there weare then with both experiences. Tell me
how you feel about Chris' experience, how he focuses on having that bar
and how he suggests we listen toa non- alcoholic bar and where he
recommends that we listen, that wereally be present when we have to talk
to someone, when someone is tellingus about those problems, that we are
(19:41):
present, that we give them timeand give them the importance, that we
let go of distractions and that wereally listen to people who need it.
And the part of Jason that stillexpands a little bit more is not only
listening, but you also participating inthat help that it' s probably people
need too. Tell me what youthink about it. As for Spotify,
(20:06):
before I move on to give youan update, I' m not going
to leave it at the end,in the end my sober update and plans
and all this sort of stuff.Let' s start with Spotify right now.
The question I left in episode onehundred and seventy- three was as
follows. You have planned, suspendedor modified activities because of your consumption and
(20:26):
I asked you to set an example. There were two people thank you very
much Elisa Isabel gil Jiménez. Asalways, 19 days ago, she commented
if I' ve cancelled because I' m hungover. Before going on to
give my opinion, let me readthe following participation, which is Karen'
s, eighteen days ago, saysyes, I have cancelled many commitments with
(20:48):
my friends and families for being inconsumption or wreaking havoc on the day before
notice that a few weeks ago andthat' s what inspired precisely that question
I asked you. I was onYouTube. I follow certain personalities. Some
of them are recovering addicts, someof them are among plenurs who have the
(21:10):
best podcast or also videos where maybeyou don' t necessarily talk about addiction,
but instead participate someone comes and talksabout that kind of thing And notice
that in that case I had theopportunity to listen to an episode that really
caught the attention of this person thatI follow, which is called Chris Roll
and where the person who comes andparticipates with him comments on a concept that
(21:38):
I found very important, that hewas the daily dreamer, the day dreamer,
not the daily dreamer, Mr Zoyte. We try to translate horita into
my mind, but it is daydreamer and the person who comes and participates
(22:00):
and comments he says you know whatday dreamer. It is the one who
makes things happen, who does,who puts all his effort, everything they
have to do to make them happenin things. It' s that person
who dreams of things but trying andthinking that those things are going to take
place. It' s not justsay being in limbo dreaming awake. It
(22:23):
' s not the concept of wakingup. The day dreamer is the one
who is living day to day andis focused on achieving the best. That
dream you have is like that dreama goal something like that. The truth
is that it' s around,sort of the idea he comments on the
night dreamer. We' re all, after all, we dream we don
(22:47):
' t control those dreams. Weknow each other sometimes we don' t
even know why we' re dreamingthat kind of thing. But at least
in what corresponds to him. Iwas explaining to this person that I got
there. I said Chris Roll sorry. I want to correct it is rich
Roll. You find it on YouTubeand among all the audio platforms this person
(23:07):
explained that that daydreamer sometimes saw those, those goals, those plans interrupted,
because on many occasions some addiction wasput in the way and they spoke,
in this case, of alcohol,because it is a person who helps other
people with additions to alcohol. Andthat' s precisely what I inspire to
(23:33):
this question, because on many occasionsand the truth, on many occasions it
has happened to me that someone askedme or came to ask me listen we
can see such a date or maybewe can schedule something from here in two
or three weeks and if that programmingmaybe arrived on the weekend or on Monday
or even on a Tuesday, rememberthat mine, my problem has been for
(23:55):
several years or it was forgiveness.I' m already explaining why I'
m going to tell you it wasfor the year that I couldn' t
stop as soon as I started drinking, and not just for one day,
but for several days and on severaloccasions I had to cancel or even present
(24:18):
myself well the best not to accompanymy wife to that meeting that had already
been best scheduled for several weeks,even months. Why, because I went
through the alcohol and in that processthat I had told you about training,
that I had had or started aboutstarting to run and training, and so
I did for several days until Igot the alcohol through. Coincidentally, in
(24:41):
those days that' s when Iheard this kind of episode and that'
s the truth, it transformed myway of thinking and made me see something
that' s usually so obvious,but we don' t want to see
it. That we accept that thisis how we are living, that we
accept that, from time to timewe are going to change those plans,
that we accept that, maybe weare going to set some goals, that
(25:03):
something is good, that they mightlast what they will last until we get
the alcohol crossed and maybe we willstart again, maybe we will leave it,
but let' s say that wetried then once I could open my
eyes. In that sense, Isaid you know that I want to be
a day dreamer, I want tobe a day dreamer. I don'
t want alcohol to get in theway of that kind of plan, because
(25:26):
the motivation was 100%. Butthings happen again in life and we'
re not ready to let those go. These opportunities and face each other and,
of course, put feet on theground and say no from here I
am not going to move, Iam going to continue with my plans and
I am not going to let alcoholor substance intervene or intercede at that moment
(25:48):
and, perhaps, make me deviatefrom that path. So, inspired by
that, I was asking you whenit was the last time that, maybe
you made plans, that it mighteven be learning some, some new activity,
maybe, doing some new sport oreven some trip, anything that requires
planning and that is going to beof medium or long duration. How many
(26:11):
times have you been interrupted in thatprocess because the alcohol went through. You
want to be a day dreamer whotakes care of the things he dreams and
makes them happen. Or it's just enough for you to be a
night dreamer, which isn' tbad, but which also implies that you
(26:33):
have no control and that it's simply something our body needs. I
decided from that moment that I wantto be a day dreamer, that I
really want to have plans in mylife, that I know, that I
can without fear to ask myself fallson tired Friday, that on Sunday,
(26:55):
it falls on Monday, that Ican see really say no matter what Diana
it matters that now I am goingto be there the truth, that it
is quite liberating also of those thingsthat we learn on the very very liberating
path that we can make plans thatway. I hope you understand me maybe.
If someone hasn' t lived it, they probably won' t be
(27:17):
able to understand me from saying it, but they won' t, because
nothing else. I mean, youdon' t take it or you don
' t take it. He wastelling me if the plans on Sunday,
then don' t take Friday orif the plan is Monday. I am,
but you haven' t had enoughon Friday, Saturday Sunday. The
truth. On many occasions, whoknows and who doesn' t know us.
That is why we say that sometimeswe understand ourselves as the people who
(27:38):
have suffered or suffer from the sameproblem. I know that if you'
ve lived it, I don't have to explain any more that I
' m being redundant right now.But I hope and if you don'
t understand me, I hope youdon' t. The truth. I
hope you don' t, becausethat means you' re not in that
moment. You' re not inthat position, and I don' t
want you ever to be. Obviously, the question that closes the episode number
(28:03):
one hundred and seventy- three andwhere I comment that mental health is just
as important as physical health. Well, let' s say the survey was
eighteen participations where ten people said yes, that mental health is just as important
as physical health and eight said it' s even more important than physical health.
(28:26):
When I wrote this question for thispoll, the truth is that my
intention, if it was to sayit' s not the same, but
then I started thinking and I saidyou know what maybe. I think it
is very important and everything is importantour life, thinking that thinking that the
two of us are starting from alevel, let' s say relative or
(28:47):
relatively healthy, if our physical healthis very, very, very deteriorated.
Obviously, we need help from thedoctor. Without a doubt, I would
focus on healing that part first andthen focusing on mental health. But if
we say the two parts of arelatively equivalent point, then I am thinking
at this point the truth that mentalhealth could be more important than physical health
(29:10):
and why I comment, because everythinghappens in our head. If we are
motivated or depressed, or are anxiousor seem stress, that happens in our
mind, that happens in our subconsciousat times or in our consciousness, and
that completely affects our whole body.There is a symbiosis, as is well
(29:33):
known, between one and the other. But I am, at present I
am focusing since, in fact,I began to focus more on that mental
health, on being well mentally,on not living, trying to understand the
issues of depression, dealings from thatstress, that anxiety and all those other
(29:55):
things that happen in the mind.The truth is that physiologically, the changes
will come to you, no doubt, because then you have the opportunity to
do other things that you have notbeen able to, that you have been
tied to the chair, tied toany post and you can do nothing,
because you know that your mental healthis also on the floor. I suggest
(30:15):
you if you' re in possibilitythere' s no person or maybe there
' ll be one. I don' t like to talk you already know
completely saying that 100 percent or zeropercent, but there will be people in
most where I' ve been toldthat when they go to therapy it always
helps them. So mental health isif it' s like going to.
(30:36):
I think he' s more ofan exerciser. When you' re focused
on something very particular, you haveto go with a person who' s
a good coach. It doesn't mean that you can' t exercise
on your own without any real trainerthat you can' t get to a
certain point physiologically speaking, but ifyou want to specialize in something very punctual,
(30:57):
any coach that is a weightlifter,someone who erases someone who swims,
it' s always important to havea person who trains you, who helps
you see those things, who canimprove the same. Without a doubt,
mental health is important. We cando to a certain extent many things to
help us understand what is going onwith us, but we are going to
(31:17):
have some limitation. We need tocome to some point where we have to
talk to someone who can hold handsand lead us to how to really deal
with those problems and not just dealwith day- to- day, but
hopefully completely eliminate those problems from ourlives. So I suggest that if you
' re in the possibilities, inthe possibility, whether it' s therapy
(31:41):
that can help you of some kindor at least give it a chance,
as I' ve always said recentlysorry a year ago, at least anonymous
alcoholics, it' s like it' s a therapy, a group therapy.
Remember it' s a group therapyTechnically and that doesn' t cost
you a single weight beyond the voluntarycontribution you want to give. And that
brings me, by the way,to the next announcement that I want to
(32:05):
make to you that you are aperson that I know you will return,
because if you have already reached thirtyminutes of episode, it means that you
regularly stay until you listen to allthe things and all the attempts that I
have made to be able to helpand to be able to provide information that
may benefit you. I have hadthe opportunity to be in communication with a
page, well sorry to those whocarry a page on YouTube and thank you,
(32:30):
for sure of this to Enrique,who actually sent me a video in
his time of that video. Hetook me to this page and I got
in touch with them. It's a page that' s a place.
I don' t know how tocall a center in Spain. The
name is Adictalia. If you knowhim if you live there or if you
have seen him at best on YouTubeor if you live in Spain and you
(32:52):
know about this guy or this place. I want to tell you that I
' ll be bringing in episodes soon. I asked Torio to take part in
his episodes, some excerpts, probablyfrom the episodes of information they have published
on the Internet. But the idea, as I have already let them glimpse,
is that sometimes I have the opportunity, if they allow it, to
which they have agreed, to bequestioned more time, coordination and so on,
(33:15):
to be able to talk with themas well and to be able to
bring you information that may be beneficialto you if you want to understand what
it is about, please search googleaAdictalia, I think it is Addictalia SS
where you will find what this centeris about? If you know about this
center and want to share it withme, because I don' t have
(33:37):
the port, the truth is it' s completely new. For me I
hadn' t heard it, Ihadn' t seen it until before my
friend Luis Enrique gave it to me. If you live in Spain and know
about this center, please tell mewhat you think. If you think it
can obviously be helpful to bring youinformation whatever it is, I mean it
(34:01):
' s nothing. In my case. I think, from my point of
view, there' s a lotof information. I promised them that by
giving me the opportunity to replicate theircontent I would always be directing people to
their website, and that' swhat I' m doing right now,
which I appreciate the trust. Thisaddictalia a dot is detoxification centers of Spain
(34:23):
in a single network at your reachseries in Spain. I recommend you,
I imagine you' ve heard ofhim from this center as such. If
I don' t recommend, ifyou don' t live in Spain,
that you can' t benefit directlyfrom a rehabilitation center, I suggest you
go to the page and find it. There are many testimonies, many many
many testimonies very well, very welldone. Whatever everyone from the side I
(34:45):
video all the truth that is very, very well done. And that'
s why it caught my attention andI' d like to bring it to
you to save you that job maybesome excerpts that might perhaps complement something I
want to say and give us theopportunity to generate more content for you comes
out addictalia. Period. That's where you tell me how you feel
(35:07):
about it. Well already the lastpart of the episode, giving you an
update and notice that at the time, if you remember, I had told
you that about the dynasties. Right. In this case very curious things happen
in our lives that when we decideto change where we obviously feel that we
have, we have the intention,on many occasions it happened to me where
(35:30):
I said I want to, Iwant to change, but I really didn
' t believe it or maybe Ibelieved it in some part or said you
know what I' m going tochange, but last as long as it
lasts. So, I see whatI' m doing because of the last
trip that was last test before afew weeks ago, and almost a month
ago I remember that I mentioned atthe beginning good part of the episode where
(35:54):
I had to interrupt that training becauseI got through the bottle and it was
very, very curious, because Iremember, it was a Friday that you
said I don' t want todo it. And then after, maybe
I told you, I told youhow it was that we really showed up
We' ve all fallen. I' ve fallen on many occasions. I
had to reanimate my account because becauseI have at home a person who also
(36:20):
has a problem his mental health isalso important and those problems had not been
attacked and I consciously as in factremember that my mother did it a long
time that she said and I takewith your dad so that he does not
leave, so that he does notgo to the street. My mom had
to sit with him and drink,not to keep him company, and my
(36:42):
dad didn' t leave for variousreasons, and I' ve seen myself
sometimes, on many occasions in thesame way, having to sacrifice my advance,
had to sacrifice those sober days,had to do something very similar to
say, because, not so thatmy wife doesn' t really get out,
(37:08):
but rather, so that things,maybe not so tense, to give
that person company in the only waythat this person feels accompanied and sorry that
he tries to dissociate a little bitbetween me. It' s a little
hard to say my wife, becauseI want that to be a little personal,
(37:28):
but I want you to understand.Not that if you have a person
living with you right now and thatperson doesn' t help much, or
it makes you reboot your account morethan you want. I want to tell
you that there' s a chancefor you, that it takes a lot
(37:51):
of work to make that decision.And I don' t mean divorce right
now. I mean, you haveto talk things straight without really pointing fingers
sincerely trying to do the other personwrong, but when you explain things with
real reason and consent that you seerearably you need your help too, but
(38:14):
that you are unable to help theother person if you don' t help
yourself first. Then I think thingsand doors open up to you to have
a better relationship. From my pointof view, that helped me. After
that last slip, I insist whereI saw the dreamer Diurno and where other
(38:34):
things fell by their own weight,I made the decision I had avoided for
a long time, to have totalk to my wife and say you know
what. Until I got here.On many occasions I have sacrificed my sobriety
for the fact of keeping you company, but no more. I' m
(38:55):
the priority. That' s whatI' m offering. I offer you
a sober person you don' twant to accept. Then we need to
talk about what we' re goingto solve that problem. You love someone
maybe, a partymate, maybe youbreed a person who makes you feel less
bad, because then you don't drink alone anymore, but you need
someone who might see you, becauseso it doesn' t make you feel
(39:16):
so worse. Well, that personisn' t me. So either we
work for a solution or you learnbecause maybe I didn' t want to
at the time too, as maybeyou shouldn' t do that by trying
to change the other person too.I' m not trying to change anyone
else, but I' m notgoing to add to that effort or add
(39:39):
to that attitude that, rather thanbring good, and brings bad. Let
it be understood that I am nottalking to you about extreme issues here,
that I am not talking to youabout issues of fights or arguments, or
anything. So, simply, it' s a lifestyle that I' m
no longer willing to fall down againby trying to give the person on the
(40:01):
other side that lifestyle that they understandas a normal lifestyle. It' s
a normal lifestyle for many people,but it' s a lifestyle that,
if I do it with you,that if I keep doing it, it
' s definitely not going to endwell. We know a lot of stories.
I am no longer in time tochange that future, to change my
(40:22):
present. Then I decided to doit that way. I decided to face
that situation face to face and yousay you know what up here no more.
And the truth also that was quiteliberating and on several occasions has asked
me in the course of this lastmonth I do not have a trip,
in fact, which I will tomorrowmorning to the United States. I was
(40:45):
wondering today you were gonna take itnow that you go and I reminded her
and I said no, because Idon' t drink anymore, it'
s not over again. And Ireally don' t want to take either
or make you think that sometimes Ididn' t decide for myself. It
doesn' t mean that out ofthe last ten times I did, it
(41:08):
wasn' t me who really startedthe fact that I' m going to
go shopping and I' m goingto drink it. I don' t
mean that all the blame was onher, but certainly part of what I,
of the attitudes I was taking orassuming, was thinking about her comes
(41:30):
out you' re. After all, who makes the last decision maybe,
someone else doesn' t even needit, but in your mind you make
yourself love you remember that question what? So many times they tell you things
that sometimes you believe it was inmy mind. If I don' t,
then that' s the other thing. So now, because I already
do, not anymore, for what, for what to resist. So that
(41:54):
' s what happened to me andthe divisibility I was telling you about when
I started a month ago, thetruth of saying you know I didn'
t. Yeah. I didn't tell myself again. I implore the
heavens, I implore the supreme being, I implore my dead mother, my
sister, and my dead mother.I implored everyone who gave me the impression
(42:15):
that they might be listening to me. I said please help me to really
understand that this is what I wantto do and what I have to do
and what is going to happen.I want to have goals and fulfill them.
I don' t want to interruptthem for alcohol. Then the truth
(42:37):
is coincidences. I don' tmean that the handles were aligned and supernatural
charge passed coincidences. That' swhat I practically decide on a Monday,
two or three days later, ajob opportunity is offered to me and you
say" wow" is this maybeor karma is this case simpressively with a
(43:00):
big coincidence of those that you say. Well, it' s a good
thing he got here right now,and it' s a good thing I
even got that call, being soberbecause he could' ve been through the
day of the week when I gotthat call, how well I could have
(43:22):
been drunk or, maybe, notanswered. The truth is that there'
s a very big release, ifyou still don' t get that chance
to talk to the people you thinkare influencing the way you are, right
or wrong. But if you perceiveit that way express it and give the
(43:45):
opportunity to the universe, to life, to the conditions to come to some
kind of reward, if that isready for you already. If it'
s not ready for you yet,don' t get discouraged maybe. There
will still be more challenges, morethings that you will have to overcome than
(44:05):
perhaps you will ask yourself, thequestion and the truth. I' m
doing something right. It looks likethey' re punishing me instead of benefiting
me. I think there' stime for everything, but you have to
be honest with yourself from the beginning. You really want to change, you
want to have that freedom and beable to say I no longer consume if
(44:30):
your addiction is more advanced if dependenceis already chemical or, in turn,
physiological, if you really need itfor various reasons, I don' t
suggest you leave it completely either overnight, because you will have some physical repercussions.
I suggest that you go forward withthe opportunity, that you come up
(44:54):
with a progress that you can measureand that you are that daydreamer who will
carry it out, because he willbe conscious every day and the hours that
are necessary to reach that goal.Then I' m an alcoholic. I
(45:15):
' m having trouble drinking alcohol.I have a disorder, an alcohol disorder.
I want to tell you today SundayJune 9th of the 24, 000th
that, like someone asked me atthe time if I was a smoker when
I quit smoking or if I wasquitting, I told them no. I
(45:37):
don' t smoke anymore, I' m not quitting, I don'
t want to quit. I alreadydid. I' m telling you myself
and I don' t want tothink and I don' t want you
to think that I' m goingpink again. Yeah, Gregory, you
' re cheating on yourself. Iwant to tell you one thing. My
(45:59):
situation, my personal situation, allowsme to tell you openly I have already
left it. You analyze your ownsituation. See at what point you'
re up to and if it's really real that you can say I
(46:22):
' m done if you' renot in that position yet. Work for
you to be. Work for amoment where you can say now. No.
Now it doesn' t mean therewon' t be any temptation.
It doesn' t mean you're not going to face uncomfortable situations,
either in the family, in thehouse, at work, that a party,
(46:45):
a birthday, a baptism. Itdoesn' t mean that no one,
by magic, will offer you andthat you' re not at all
tempted to receive it. There's a lot of work to be done,
a lot of work to be done, but with that vision of saying
I don' t do it needlesslyanymore. It' s different than saying
(47:06):
I' m leaving. But asI' m leaving it, I'
m not going to let you gethold of it anymore today and I'
m going to continue with that oneby tomorrow. I' ve already left
it and, therefore, I'm not taking it anymore. That which
I am being offered and I haveto do all the mental things that you
(47:29):
want to do in order to standfirm in that vision. I' m
a day dreamer. I invite you, too, to put forward your plans
and that these plans should not beinterrupted because some substance, behavior, is
(47:53):
going through your path. Well,let' s say goodbye. This trip
is on the doorstep. I'd be returning safely tomorrow Monday. He
' s coming back on Friday.I look forward to seeing the next one.
Good to see that we listen toeach other the next time. There
(48:16):
are a couple of interviews at leastpending. Please, patience. I have
at least one more subject I wantto touch with you, which is alcohol
- free beer. It led himto several comments that he received on YouTube
from a particular episode and also froma situation that he took. He gave
me a chance to share. Wellshe rather shared it with me and told
(48:37):
me that there was no problem sharingit in seeing those beers in alcohol and
that practically being a horn with thetemptation we have to go through. Then
that' s what' s waitingfor us. There' s more to
talk about, there' s moreto talk about. No doubt, then
give me the opportunity to keep comingand comparing, watch it when that time
(49:02):
is right. In the meantime,remember that you can contact me with alcohol.
Gregory throws in addiction com and thereas I promised and I keep promising,
you' ll always get an answerfrom me. It doesn' t
take a while, but I promiseyou you do. You do. Remember,
(49:23):
there are people who love you.Remember, there are people who want
to see you get over your addiction. Don' t turn your back on
them Talk to them head- onand ask for help. You' d
be surprised to see how many peopleare ready and willing to help you.
Also remember that if you are ableto help someone else in any way,
(49:45):
that help can reach them. Isuggest you, do it. I'
m asking you to do it You' re gonna feel really good. I
promise when you see a shadow inthe face of others as you realize that
something so small can sometimes change life. His name is Gregorio Chines. We
(50:12):
' ll hear each other in thenext episode I hate until next time.
The information shared in this podcast isfor informational purposes only and does not attempt
to replace diagnostic advice or medical treatmentof any kind. Therefore, consult your
doctor or other health care professional ifyou have any questions about your health or
your health condition, how to treatyour addiction. Welcome. Welcome once again,
(00:30):
my name is Gregori Chiñas and,as always you, I welcome a
new episode of goodbye addiction, anepisode that is being recorded on Sunday,
June 9, year two thousand twenty- four. As always, I appreciate
the opportunity you give me to bewith you for a few minutes today.
(00:51):
What I' m going to betalking about is the continuation of the last
episode to one hundred and seventy-three. This is the one hundred and
seventy- four where I told youthe story of a doctor, well at
least what he shared in an article, and today I will be sharing that
of two more people, Chris forty- one, Jason fifty- four,
who have been in solitude for severalyears. It is a brief note in
(01:18):
both cases and I will be supplementingit with certain comments. You know about
the usual Spotify section of questions andanswers and also you will consider, by
the way, alcohol- free beerpossibly and also if it gives us time,
mental health. Well, as Ialways ask you, please, on
(01:38):
no account, would you like tocontact me. Do it to the e
- mail. Gregory Arroba Goodbye addiction, com or that you can also head
to the YouTube page, YouTube comdiagonal arroba arroba addiction and there surely we
can get in touch. Okay.I know that those who let me know
(02:00):
how to make a podcast, anepisode that is, and that, to
the point they would be completely angryat what I' m going to do
right now, because it seems tome that I want to leave this at
the beginning and not at the endand what I mean by how you might
have noticed. If you' vealso heard some of the previous episodes,
(02:23):
I' ve been a little inconsistentwith what' s been going on,
the publications of the episodes in manymonths or years were week after week in
a consistent way. Now, likeI said, before. I am in
a stage of self- knowledge,self- discovery, also of many other
things that I am doing then that, that prevents me from coming so frequently
(02:49):
and rewinds every week, but thatI promised myself here, I will be
here, I will come as manytimes as possible, either because I have
already generated some content that I wantto share with you, or because also
questions of time, compromises allow me. Unfortunately, I got sick how you
can hear forgiveness. I don't want to erase all this, because
(03:12):
that' s gonna make me haveto edit the podcast a lot, but
I got sick. I want tothink it was a flu or a cold,
but at the time of coviding thetruth, anything can be covid and
it was a week of quite suffering, quite exhausting. But I just want
to share this with you for thefollowing. The week before, that week
(03:34):
I was sick, I was subjectedto a lot of work stress. I
like what I do, I likemy job. I enjoy to a certain
extent what I do, but itwas say a week of quite a workload,
of a major stress, end upvery tired at the end of the
day, by completely almost all week. And I don' t mean physical
(03:54):
tiredness. It is necessary that that, however it is respect to all those
who have to do a physical workdo you end up very tired. I
mean that mental tiredness of having processed, of being alert or you have to
be practically without blinking almost all day, because there are many things to solve
and I think that that was whataffected so that God did not know if
(04:18):
it was Mexico or Latin American issues, or what I already know you will
tell me that you tell us notif maybe your defenses were low, because
your organism as such, your bodyas such, was very tired and that,
maybe allowed the entrance to any bug. I want to think that maybe,
that' s why I got sick. But now, fortunately, there
(04:40):
are already some indications that that happenedas a result of being a little bit
more mortified than normal and with certainphlegms. Obviously you might see that I
have to put a few pauses inthis episode from time to time. Well,
since I told you all this,I hope you' ll also be
(05:02):
patient to accompany me whenever you haveto be here. A greeting, by
the way, to my friend fromColombia, which is how he asked me
to say it. Then he'll know who I mean if you e
- mailed me. Please be patient. I' ll be reaching out to
each and every one of them,as I always promise. If you have
(05:23):
offered to record an episode, ifyou have already answered the questions as well,
I thank you very much for havingdone so, give me the possibility
of being able to organize the thingsthat are happening around me that, in
fact, I will tell you anupdate of my current situation with the question
(05:43):
of sobriety and truth is hoping thatwe will talk, but yes, please
have a little patience. Don't get discouraged. There' ll be
time for advertisers. This podcast hasn' t closed or shut down what I
' m doing any longer. It' s more time to record the episodes.
Well, going in there for ifyou' re still here and you
haven' t been very desperate.A better listener is the part Chris Marshall
(06:06):
has shared and so has been titled. Remember this is taken from some articles
that I found in those sites thatI then start to navigate and in which
I understand, it may be perhapsbeneficial for you also to share this type
of experiences. Then I start withthis part of the text. A better
(06:27):
listener. Chrismash Marshall, aged forty- one, had been sober for ten
years because of alcohol when he decidedto open a bar to his local Sansbar
in Austin, Texas. She's missing one thing. Alcohol comments Chris
as the only black child in apredominantly white neighborhood. Chris discovered in high
(06:51):
school that drinking was an easy wayto fit in. The same thing happened
with the life of university fraternity,but fitting in did not mean strong ties
and says that alcohol became their self- medication for anxiety and depression. After
(07:12):
leaving school, Chris says that hislife began to run out of control until
he went into rehab at the ageof twenty- three and found sobriety and
connection. Alcoholism rots in isolation aftera decade of recovery opened sans bar a
place that could bring together people whochose not to drink. In fact,
(07:36):
he says they seem to connect toa deeper level, both between them and
with him behind the counter. Thisis what he has learned. Point number
one. From his learnings he sayshe listens with all his being. The
real conversation takes place away from thescreens, even if your smartphone is face
(08:03):
down on a table keep it inyour pocket and sit in a section of
the bar or restaurant where there isno TV in sight. Number two tell
the people you' re listening to. This may sound like I hear you,
Chris says. Short insights let theperson know that you are engaged and
(08:28):
encourage her to listen to the silenceis often not enough and her last point,
point number three, do not arrangeto listen. It' s not
about curing or diagnosing. He claimsit' s about being present. You
may be disheartening, but there isa lot of healing in the ability for
(08:52):
someone to listen to your connection withothers. It is often the reason why
we choose drugs, but we haveshown that social anxiety decreases in a state
of sobriety. Well, there's the part of this text then.
What corresponds to Chris, as Itell you, will also be the next.
(09:13):
Something short notice that something I didn' t plan to tell you when
I prepared this part of the episodetwo or three weeks ago, is that
yesterday antier forgiveness Friday, I hadthe opportunity to talk to a person from
work and this mental health becomes quiteevident and connecting. And that' s
(09:33):
where I want to tie both.Listening is very important. I had no
longer lied to you maybe a fewmonths after I hadn' t seen this
person in the office and I rememberedthat in that last talk we had a
few months ago, he told methat his mom was experiencing a type of
illness and that she had to helptake care of her. Then, when
(09:54):
I asked her early in the morninghow she was and how she was,
her mom answered me about the situationthat was going on and how she was
helping. The next question, afterletting her talk for a moment, was
the next one and how are youfeeling about it and the truth is I
(10:16):
think it was practically like opening avalve, a key for her to start
talking and talking and talking, andthe truth is you realize inside that part
that she was talking about was thatshe really needed and you understand when you
' re going to the best thingalready talked about with other people, you
(10:39):
realize when it' s someone whojust wants to take out all that stuff
that' s inside. It wasminutes, minutes where, as the text
says, the truth so far Irealized. I had the opportunity to do
a few words just to precisely showthat I was listening, always looking at
the person in the eye and tellinghim here I am here, I am
(11:00):
with you, I am listening whenhe pulls out all that and the truth,
after maybe about fifteen minutes of herhaving been able to pull all that
out, let' s say,we said goodbye and continued with his guide
in that talk. She commented preciselyon mental health, he even the need
to be taking antidepressants, but sherealized, according to her, that the
antidepressants ay instead of helping. Thetruth is, they weren' t benefiting.
(11:22):
He decided to face the fears,to face things, to face that
anxiety directly, let alone to havesome external factor, but to give face
to those problems that he was havingor that made him feel that way.
I wish, really. I wishwith all my heart that she could find.
(11:43):
Let' s say that situation thatallows you, let' s say
alleviate the way you feel today,because maybe. You also experience the same
thing. We have a lot ofstress, a lot of things to deal
with and we thought that our onlyway, as at the time she was
prescribed by the doctor, was theantidepressants. We prescribed author, we self
(12:07):
- recipe some substance, including alcohol. True, then, as she decided,
the same wish for you that wemight be able to if possible.
Obviously I' m not telling youthat if you' re taking any medications
like that, that' s all, because if you leave it consult your
doctor, as I always start theseepisodes. But if, in the case,
you are self- medicating yourself withsome substance, which you know is
(12:33):
actually being a part of your problem, I suggest you give yourself the opportunity
to reconsider and put some days orland in the way and see how much
it can help you, because sometimeswe need that clarity to be able to
face the problems that yes, bynot being at best numbed by the drug
(12:54):
we engineered, we have and aremore susceptible to feeling at best a little
bit of courage or feeling anger orfeeling stress or feeling anxiety. But it
' s precisely if at some pointwe don' t give ourselves a chance
to feel that way, then we' ll never be able to get out.
It says vicious circle. Okay,this one. So Chris' s
(13:16):
experience and I' m going topass on to share just as briefly Jason
' s experience. Let' sgo next. So it' s called
redefining the success of fifty- four- year- old Jason, he'
s cut hair and combed important personalitiesin Hollywood, but it' s his
(13:41):
work with homeless people that really empowershim. When I turned thirty, Jason
says, my wheels fell off,smoking crack and using methamphetamine. I felt
miserable and knew I had to changethe lack of housing. He made me
look for rehab that I went inand out of for four years. Recovery
(14:03):
didn' t work at first.It cost me an effort, but little
by little I began to feel betterabout myself thanks to therapy. Except that
even though I stopped consuming life Istill revolved around myself. I was buying
more stuff and bigger stuff just tofeel good. I didn' t feel
(14:26):
well. In fact, I didn' t feel as good as at the
beginning of recovery. I realized thatI lacked a key component to help others.
I filmed a TV pilot who wasgetting close to people on the street.
He cut their hair and transformed theirappearance. I realized that I lacked
(14:48):
a key component to help others.I cut a homeless, alcoholic man'
s hair. Nothing ever came outof the program, but a couple of
months later I realized the best partof the day was to help that guy,
so I started going out on thestreet regularly with a backpack and wireless
(15:11):
machines. I' ve been soberfor seventeen years and that job talking to
those in need of a simple serviceis what gives me purpose, vision and
a sense of living outside of myself. It has also changed the way I
(15:31):
do my daily work. I havea barber shop and a line of products
and some of the profits go torehabilitation centers and facilities for sober people in
Los Angeles that I recommend to somehomeless people fighting addiction. When I drank
and used drugs, my dream wasto be rich. I thought success was
(15:52):
a personal achievement. From time totime a homeless person who recovers returns and
visits me, they will say thatcutting their hair and talking to them changed
their lives. That feeling of givingback to others. That' s how
fine my success until then. Jason' s words the truth, as I
(16:19):
' ve been finishing some episodes fora while now, is that if you
have the chance to help someone else, to extend that hand, which is
so much needed, that the truthexperiences it is that you do. If
you' re within those possibilities,it' s regularly when we don'
t have to wait. I think, when we already have months or years
(16:41):
of sobriety. Sometimes, even ifyou have days or hours or simply simplify
the mental clarity of helping others whenyou have those stages where you can live
soberly maybe it gives you a verygreat satisfaction. And I think that in
part notice, in part it's the things that have kept me here
in the god addiction for all theseyears. Sometimes when I start to think
(17:06):
that it' s the things thatI enjoy things, that I don'
t enjoy the things that I comehere for so much and put all those
points on the table. I realizethat there is a very important part,
which is to help others, toreceive those emails or messages, to ask
(17:26):
or not to go or change itor not to close it, because there
is something that is found, something, something someone finds to be able to
use it their life or with somefamily member, and that makes me feel
that we can still make a change. Sometimes we think that if nothing else
(17:47):
changes, it doesn' t havea big impact on the whole world.
But we don' t get tothink that if you make a small change
in your life, either by helpingothers or by helping you make an important
decision, it can in turn branchinto your close circle or even not so
(18:10):
close. It may not be enoughto change the world, but on many
occasions we do not say or tellpeople that we want them to be our
world. Then it wouldn' tbe worth it, then change what we
can do or help who we loveor even who we don' t know.
Why, why can you be aworld, a whole world that will
(18:33):
be very happy and perhaps in needof that change, including you obviously comes
out I want to thank all thosepeople, as I said at the beginning,
who have contacted me, because thoseare precisely those who make me feel
that, just like this jason,from time to time it stops to cut
the hair off those people who needit, because in my case, from
(18:56):
time to time I also make myselfpresent here for You, who may be
needing these words, because also tosome feedback when I say it, because
as I told you also on manyoccasions, I sometimes say these words to
You, but also I am listeningto them myself as they come out of
(19:18):
my mouth. Well, there weare then with both experiences. Tell me
how you feel about Chris' experience, how he focuses on having that bar
and how he suggests we listen toa non- alcoholic bar and where he
recommends that we listen, that wereally be present when we have to talk
to someone, when someone is tellingus about those problems, that we are
(19:41):
present, that we give them timeand give them the importance, that we
let go of distractions and that wereally listen to people who need it.
And the part of Jason that stillexpands a little bit more is not only
listening, but you also participating inthat help that it' s probably people
need too. Tell me what youthink about it. As for Spotify,
(20:06):
before I move on to give youan update, I' m not going
to leave it at the end,in the end my sober update and plans
and all this sort of stuff.Let' s start with Spotify right now.
The question I left in episode onehundred and seventy- three was as
follows. You have planned, suspendedor modified activities because of your consumption and
(20:26):
I asked you to set an example. There were two people thank you very
much Elisa Isabel gil Jiménez. Asalways, 19 days ago, she commented
if I' ve cancelled because I' m hungover. Before going on to
give my opinion, let me readthe following participation, which is Karen'
s, eighteen days ago, saysyes, I have cancelled many commitments with
(20:48):
my friends and families for being inconsumption or wreaking havoc on the day before
notice that a few weeks ago andthat' s what inspired precisely that question
I asked you. I was onYouTube. I follow certain personalities. Some
of them are recovering addicts, someof them are among plenurs who have the
(21:10):
best podcast or also videos where maybeyou don' t necessarily talk about addiction,
but instead participate someone comes and talksabout that kind of thing And notice
that in that case I had theopportunity to listen to an episode that really
caught the attention of this person thatI follow, which is called Chris Roll
and where the person who comes andparticipates with him comments on a concept that
(21:38):
I found very important, that hewas the daily dreamer, the day dreamer,
not the daily dreamer, Mr Zoyte. We try to translate horita into
my mind, but it is daydreamer and the person who comes and participates
(22:00):
and comments he says you know whatday dreamer. It is the one who
makes things happen, who does,who puts all his effort, everything they
have to do to make them happenin things. It' s that person
who dreams of things but trying andthinking that those things are going to take
place. It' s not justsay being in limbo dreaming awake. It
(22:23):
' s not the concept of wakingup. The day dreamer is the one
who is living day to day andis focused on achieving the best. That
dream you have is like that dreama goal something like that. The truth
is that it' s around,sort of the idea he comments on the
night dreamer. We' re all, after all, we dream we don
(22:47):
' t control those dreams. Weknow each other sometimes we don' t
even know why we' re dreamingthat kind of thing. But at least
in what corresponds to him. Iwas explaining to this person that I got
there. I said Chris Roll sorry. I want to correct it is rich
Roll. You find it on YouTubeand among all the audio platforms this person
(23:07):
explained that that daydreamer sometimes saw those, those goals, those plans interrupted,
because on many occasions some addiction wasput in the way and they spoke,
in this case, of alcohol,because it is a person who helps other
people with additions to alcohol. Andthat' s precisely what I inspire to
(23:33):
this question, because on many occasionsand the truth, on many occasions it
has happened to me that someone askedme or came to ask me listen we
can see such a date or maybewe can schedule something from here in two
or three weeks and if that programmingmaybe arrived on the weekend or on Monday
or even on a Tuesday, rememberthat mine, my problem has been for
(23:55):
several years or it was forgiveness.I' m already explaining why I'
m going to tell you it wasfor the year that I couldn' t
stop as soon as I started drinking, and not just for one day,
but for several days and on severaloccasions I had to cancel or even present
(24:18):
myself well the best not to accompanymy wife to that meeting that had already
been best scheduled for several weeks,even months. Why, because I went
through the alcohol and in that processthat I had told you about training,
that I had had or started aboutstarting to run and training, and so
I did for several days until Igot the alcohol through. Coincidentally, in
(24:41):
those days that' s when Iheard this kind of episode and that'
s the truth, it transformed myway of thinking and made me see something
that' s usually so obvious,but we don' t want to see
it. That we accept that thisis how we are living, that we
accept that, from time to timewe are going to change those plans,
that we accept that, maybe weare going to set some goals, that
(25:03):
something is good, that they mightlast what they will last until we get
the alcohol crossed and maybe we willstart again, maybe we will leave it,
but let' s say that wetried then once I could open my
eyes. In that sense, Isaid you know that I want to be
a day dreamer, I want tobe a day dreamer. I don'
t want alcohol to get in theway of that kind of plan, because
(25:26):
the motivation was 100%. Butthings happen again in life and we'
re not ready to let those go. These opportunities and face each other and,
of course, put feet on theground and say no from here I
am not going to move, Iam going to continue with my plans and
I am not going to let alcoholor substance intervene or intercede at that moment
(25:48):
and, perhaps, make me deviatefrom that path. So, inspired by
that, I was asking you whenit was the last time that, maybe
you made plans, that it mighteven be learning some, some new activity,
maybe, doing some new sport oreven some trip, anything that requires
planning and that is going to beof medium or long duration. How many
(26:11):
times have you been interrupted in thatprocess because the alcohol went through. You
want to be a day dreamer whotakes care of the things he dreams and
makes them happen. Or it's just enough for you to be a
night dreamer, which isn' tbad, but which also implies that you
(26:33):
have no control and that it's simply something our body needs. I
decided from that moment that I wantto be a day dreamer, that I
really want to have plans in mylife, that I know, that I
can without fear to ask myself fallson tired Friday, that on Sunday,
(26:55):
it falls on Monday, that Ican see really say no matter what Diana
it matters that now I am goingto be there the truth, that it
is quite liberating also of those thingsthat we learn on the very very liberating
path that we can make plans thatway. I hope you understand me maybe.
If someone hasn' t lived it, they probably won' t be
(27:17):
able to understand me from saying it, but they won' t, because
nothing else. I mean, youdon' t take it or you don
' t take it. He wastelling me if the plans on Sunday,
then don' t take Friday orif the plan is Monday. I am,
but you haven' t had enoughon Friday, Saturday Sunday. The
truth. On many occasions, whoknows and who doesn' t know us.
That is why we say that sometimeswe understand ourselves as the people who
(27:38):
have suffered or suffer from the sameproblem. I know that if you'
ve lived it, I don't have to explain any more that I
' m being redundant right now.But I hope and if you don'
t understand me, I hope youdon' t. The truth. I
hope you don' t, becausethat means you' re not in that
moment. You' re not inthat position, and I don' t
want you ever to be. Obviously, the question that closes the episode number
(28:03):
one hundred and seventy- three andwhere I comment that mental health is just
as important as physical health. Well, let' s say the survey was
eighteen participations where ten people said yes, that mental health is just as important
as physical health and eight said it' s even more important than physical health.
(28:26):
When I wrote this question for thispoll, the truth is that my
intention, if it was to sayit' s not the same, but
then I started thinking and I saidyou know what maybe. I think it
is very important and everything is importantour life, thinking that thinking that the
two of us are starting from alevel, let' s say relative or
(28:47):
relatively healthy, if our physical healthis very, very, very deteriorated.
Obviously, we need help from thedoctor. Without a doubt, I would
focus on healing that part first andthen focusing on mental health. But if
we say the two parts of arelatively equivalent point, then I am thinking
at this point the truth that mentalhealth could be more important than physical health
(29:10):
and why I comment, because everythinghappens in our head. If we are
motivated or depressed, or are anxiousor seem stress, that happens in our
mind, that happens in our subconsciousat times or in our consciousness, and
that completely affects our whole body.There is a symbiosis, as is well
(29:33):
known, between one and the other. But I am, at present I
am focusing since, in fact,I began to focus more on that mental
health, on being well mentally,on not living, trying to understand the
issues of depression, dealings from thatstress, that anxiety and all those other
(29:55):
things that happen in the mind.The truth is that physiologically, the changes
will come to you, no doubt, because then you have the opportunity to
do other things that you have notbeen able to, that you have been
tied to the chair, tied toany post and you can do nothing,
because you know that your mental healthis also on the floor. I suggest
(30:15):
you if you' re in possibilitythere' s no person or maybe there
' ll be one. I don' t like to talk you already know
completely saying that 100 percent or zeropercent, but there will be people in
most where I' ve been toldthat when they go to therapy it always
helps them. So mental health isif it' s like going to.
(30:36):
I think he' s more ofan exerciser. When you' re focused
on something very particular, you haveto go with a person who' s
a good coach. It doesn't mean that you can' t exercise
on your own without any real trainerthat you can' t get to a
certain point physiologically speaking, but ifyou want to specialize in something very punctual,
(30:57):
any coach that is a weightlifter,someone who erases someone who swims,
it' s always important to havea person who trains you, who helps
you see those things, who canimprove the same. Without a doubt,
mental health is important. We cando to a certain extent many things to
help us understand what is going onwith us, but we are going to
(31:17):
have some limitation. We need tocome to some point where we have to
talk to someone who can hold handsand lead us to how to really deal
with those problems and not just dealwith day- to- day, but
hopefully completely eliminate those problems from ourlives. So I suggest that if you
' re in the possibilities, inthe possibility, whether it' s therapy
(31:41):
that can help you of some kindor at least give it a chance,
as I' ve always said recentlysorry a year ago, at least anonymous
alcoholics, it' s like it' s a therapy, a group therapy.
Remember it' s a group therapyTechnically and that doesn' t cost
you a single weight beyond the voluntarycontribution you want to give. And that
brings me, by the way,to the next announcement that I want to
(32:05):
make to you that you are aperson that I know you will return,
because if you have already reached thirtyminutes of episode, it means that you
regularly stay until you listen to allthe things and all the attempts that I
have made to be able to helpand to be able to provide information that
may benefit you. I have hadthe opportunity to be in communication with a
page, well sorry to those whocarry a page on YouTube and thank you,
(32:30):
for sure of this to Enrique,who actually sent me a video in
his time of that video. Hetook me to this page and I got
in touch with them. It's a page that' s a place.
I don' t know how tocall a center in Spain. The
name is Adictalia. If you knowhim if you live there or if you
have seen him at best on YouTubeor if you live in Spain and you
(32:52):
know about this guy or this place. I want to tell you that I
' ll be bringing in episodes soon. I asked Torio to take part in
his episodes, some excerpts, probablyfrom the episodes of information they have published
on the Internet. But the idea, as I have already let them glimpse,
is that sometimes I have the opportunity, if they allow it, to
which they have agreed, to bequestioned more time, coordination and so on,
(33:15):
to be able to talk with themas well and to be able to
bring you information that may be beneficialto you if you want to understand what
it is about, please search googleaAdictalia, I think it is Addictalia SS
where you will find what this centeris about? If you know about this
center and want to share it withme, because I don' t have
(33:37):
the port, the truth is it' s completely new. For me I
hadn' t heard it, Ihadn' t seen it until before my
friend Luis Enrique gave it to me. If you live in Spain and know
about this center, please tell mewhat you think. If you think it
can obviously be helpful to bring youinformation whatever it is, I mean it
(34:01):
' s nothing. In my case. I think, from my point of
view, there' s a lotof information. I promised them that by
giving me the opportunity to replicate theircontent I would always be directing people to
their website, and that' swhat I' m doing right now,
which I appreciate the trust. Thisaddictalia a dot is detoxification centers of Spain
(34:23):
in a single network at your reachseries in Spain. I recommend you,
I imagine you' ve heard ofhim from this center as such. If
I don' t recommend, ifyou don' t live in Spain,
that you can' t benefit directlyfrom a rehabilitation center, I suggest you
go to the page and find it. There are many testimonies, many many
many testimonies very well, very welldone. Whatever everyone from the side I
(34:45):
video all the truth that is very, very well done. And that'
s why it caught my attention andI' d like to bring it to
you to save you that job maybesome excerpts that might perhaps complement something I
want to say and give us theopportunity to generate more content for you comes
out addictalia. Period. That's where you tell me how you feel
(35:07):
about it. Well already the lastpart of the episode, giving you an
update and notice that at the time, if you remember, I had told
you that about the dynasties. Right. In this case very curious things happen
in our lives that when we decideto change where we obviously feel that we
have, we have the intention,on many occasions it happened to me where
(35:30):
I said I want to, Iwant to change, but I really didn
' t believe it or maybe Ibelieved it in some part or said you
know what I' m going tochange, but last as long as it
lasts. So, I see whatI' m doing because of the last
trip that was last test before afew weeks ago, and almost a month
ago I remember that I mentioned atthe beginning good part of the episode where
(35:54):
I had to interrupt that training becauseI got through the bottle and it was
very, very curious, because Iremember, it was a Friday that you
said I don' t want todo it. And then after, maybe
I told you, I told youhow it was that we really showed up
We' ve all fallen. I' ve fallen on many occasions. I
had to reanimate my account because becauseI have at home a person who also
(36:20):
has a problem his mental health isalso important and those problems had not been
attacked and I consciously as in factremember that my mother did it a long
time that she said and I takewith your dad so that he does not
leave, so that he does notgo to the street. My mom had
to sit with him and drink,not to keep him company, and my
(36:42):
dad didn' t leave for variousreasons, and I' ve seen myself
sometimes, on many occasions in thesame way, having to sacrifice my advance,
had to sacrifice those sober days,had to do something very similar to
say, because, not so thatmy wife doesn' t really get out,
(37:08):
but rather, so that things,maybe not so tense, to give
that person company in the only waythat this person feels accompanied and sorry that
he tries to dissociate a little bitbetween me. It' s a little
hard to say my wife, becauseI want that to be a little personal,
(37:28):
but I want you to understand.Not that if you have a person
living with you right now and thatperson doesn' t help much, or
it makes you reboot your account morethan you want. I want to tell
you that there' s a chancefor you, that it takes a lot
(37:51):
of work to make that decision.And I don' t mean divorce right
now. I mean, you haveto talk things straight without really pointing fingers
sincerely trying to do the other personwrong, but when you explain things with
real reason and consent that you seerearably you need your help too, but
(38:14):
that you are unable to help theother person if you don' t help
yourself first. Then I think thingsand doors open up to you to have
a better relationship. From my pointof view, that helped me. After
that last slip, I insist whereI saw the dreamer Diurno and where other
(38:34):
things fell by their own weight,I made the decision I had avoided for
a long time, to have totalk to my wife and say you know
what. Until I got here.On many occasions I have sacrificed my sobriety
for the fact of keeping you company, but no more. I' m
(38:55):
the priority. That' s whatI' m offering. I offer you
a sober person you don' twant to accept. Then we need to
talk about what we' re goingto solve that problem. You love someone
maybe, a partymate, maybe youbreed a person who makes you feel less
bad, because then you don't drink alone anymore, but you need
someone who might see you, becauseso it doesn' t make you feel
(39:16):
so worse. Well, that personisn' t me. So either we
work for a solution or you learnbecause maybe I didn' t want to
at the time too, as maybeyou shouldn' t do that by trying
to change the other person too.I' m not trying to change anyone
else, but I' m notgoing to add to that effort or add
(39:39):
to that attitude that, rather thanbring good, and brings bad. Let
it be understood that I am nottalking to you about extreme issues here,
that I am not talking to youabout issues of fights or arguments, or
anything. So, simply, it' s a lifestyle that I' m
no longer willing to fall down againby trying to give the person on the
(40:01):
other side that lifestyle that they understandas a normal lifestyle. It' s
a normal lifestyle for many people,but it' s a lifestyle that,
if I do it with you,that if I keep doing it, it
' s definitely not going to endwell. We know a lot of stories.
I am no longer in time tochange that future, to change my
(40:22):
present. Then I decided to doit that way. I decided to face
that situation face to face and yousay you know what up here no more.
And the truth also that was quiteliberating and on several occasions has asked
me in the course of this lastmonth I do not have a trip,
in fact, which I will tomorrowmorning to the United States. I was
(40:45):
wondering today you were gonna take itnow that you go and I reminded her
and I said no, because Idon' t drink anymore, it'
s not over again. And Ireally don' t want to take either
or make you think that sometimes Ididn' t decide for myself. It
doesn' t mean that out ofthe last ten times I did, it
(41:08):
wasn' t me who really startedthe fact that I' m going to
go shopping and I' m goingto drink it. I don' t
mean that all the blame was onher, but certainly part of what I,
of the attitudes I was taking orassuming, was thinking about her comes
(41:30):
out you' re. After all, who makes the last decision maybe,
someone else doesn' t even needit, but in your mind you make
yourself love you remember that question what? So many times they tell you things
that sometimes you believe it was inmy mind. If I don' t,
then that' s the other thing. So now, because I already
do, not anymore, for what, for what to resist. So that
(41:54):
' s what happened to me andthe divisibility I was telling you about when
I started a month ago, thetruth of saying you know I didn'
t. Yeah. I didn't tell myself again. I implore the
heavens, I implore the supreme being, I implore my dead mother, my
sister, and my dead mother.I implored everyone who gave me the impression
(42:15):
that they might be listening to me. I said please help me to really
understand that this is what I wantto do and what I have to do
and what is going to happen.I want to have goals and fulfill them.
I don' t want to interruptthem for alcohol. Then the truth
(42:37):
is coincidences. I don' tmean that the handles were aligned and supernatural
charge passed coincidences. That' swhat I practically decide on a Monday,
two or three days later, ajob opportunity is offered to me and you
say" wow" is this maybeor karma is this case simpressively with a
(43:00):
big coincidence of those that you say. Well, it' s a good
thing he got here right now,and it' s a good thing I
even got that call, being soberbecause he could' ve been through the
day of the week when I gotthat call, how well I could have
(43:22):
been drunk or, maybe, notanswered. The truth is that there'
s a very big release, ifyou still don' t get that chance
to talk to the people you thinkare influencing the way you are, right
or wrong. But if you perceiveit that way express it and give the
(43:45):
opportunity to the universe, to life, to the conditions to come to some
kind of reward, if that isready for you already. If it'
s not ready for you yet,don' t get discouraged maybe. There
will still be more challenges, morethings that you will have to overcome than
(44:05):
perhaps you will ask yourself, thequestion and the truth. I' m
doing something right. It looks likethey' re punishing me instead of benefiting
me. I think there' stime for everything, but you have to
be honest with yourself from the beginning. You really want to change, you
want to have that freedom and beable to say I no longer consume if
(44:30):
your addiction is more advanced if dependenceis already chemical or, in turn,
physiological, if you really need itfor various reasons, I don' t
suggest you leave it completely either overnight, because you will have some physical repercussions.
I suggest that you go forward withthe opportunity, that you come up
(44:54):
with a progress that you can measureand that you are that daydreamer who will
carry it out, because he willbe conscious every day and the hours that
are necessary to reach that goal.Then I' m an alcoholic. I
(45:15):
' m having trouble drinking alcohol.I have a disorder, an alcohol disorder.
I want to tell you today SundayJune 9th of the 24, 000th
that, like someone asked me atthe time if I was a smoker when
I quit smoking or if I wasquitting, I told them no. I
(45:37):
don' t smoke anymore, I' m not quitting, I don'
t want to quit. I alreadydid. I' m telling you myself
and I don' t want tothink and I don' t want you
to think that I' m goingpink again. Yeah, Gregory, you
' re cheating on yourself. Iwant to tell you one thing. My
(45:59):
situation, my personal situation, allowsme to tell you openly I have already
left it. You analyze your ownsituation. See at what point you'
re up to and if it's really real that you can say I
(46:22):
' m done if you' renot in that position yet. Work for
you to be. Work for amoment where you can say now. No.
Now it doesn' t mean therewon' t be any temptation.
It doesn' t mean you're not going to face uncomfortable situations,
either in the family, in thehouse, at work, that a party,
(46:45):
a birthday, a baptism. Itdoesn' t mean that no one,
by magic, will offer you andthat you' re not at all
tempted to receive it. There's a lot of work to be done,
a lot of work to be done, but with that vision of saying
I don' t do it needlesslyanymore. It' s different than saying
(47:06):
I' m leaving. But asI' m leaving it, I'
m not going to let you gethold of it anymore today and I'
m going to continue with that oneby tomorrow. I' ve already left
it and, therefore, I'm not taking it anymore. That which
I am being offered and I haveto do all the mental things that you
(47:29):
want to do in order to standfirm in that vision. I' m
a day dreamer. I invite you, too, to put forward your plans
and that these plans should not beinterrupted because some substance, behavior, is
(47:53):
going through your path. Well,let' s say goodbye. This trip
is on the doorstep. I'd be returning safely tomorrow Monday. He
' s coming back on Friday.I look forward to seeing the next one.
Good to see that we listen toeach other the next time. There
(48:16):
are a couple of interviews at leastpending. Please, patience. I have
at least one more subject I wantto touch with you, which is alcohol
- free beer. It led himto several comments that he received on YouTube
from a particular episode and also froma situation that he took. He gave
me a chance to share. Wellshe rather shared it with me and told
(48:37):
me that there was no problem sharingit in seeing those beers in alcohol and
that practically being a horn with thetemptation we have to go through. Then
that' s what' s waitingfor us. There' s more to
talk about, there' s moreto talk about. No doubt, then
give me the opportunity to keep comingand comparing, watch it when that time
(49:02):
is right. In the meantime,remember that you can contact me with alcohol.
Gregory throws in addiction com and thereas I promised and I keep promising,
you' ll always get an answerfrom me. It doesn' t
take a while, but I promiseyou you do. You do. Remember,
(49:23):
there are people who love you.Remember, there are people who want
to see you get over your addiction. Don' t turn your back on
them Talk to them head- onand ask for help. You' d
be surprised to see how many peopleare ready and willing to help you.
Also remember that if you are ableto help someone else in any way,
(49:45):
that help can reach them. Isuggest you, do it. I'
m asking you to do it You' re gonna feel really good. I
promise when you see a shadow inthe face of others as you realize that
something so small can sometimes change life. His name is Gregorio Chines. We
(50:12):
' ll hear each other in thenext episode I hate until next time.
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