August 16, 2025 • 46 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Chapter twelve, a cave retreat. While this was doing, I
was not altogether careless of my other affairs, for I
had a great concern upon me for my little herd
of goats. They were not only already supply to me
on every occasion, and began to be sufficient for me
(00:23):
without the expense of powder and shot, but also without
the fatigue of hunting after the wild ones. And I
was loath to lose the advantage of them, and to
have them all to nurse up over again. For this purpose,
After long consideration, I could think of but two ways
to preserve them. One was to find another convenient place
(00:47):
to dig a cave underground, and to drive them into
it every night. And the other was to enclose two
or three little bits of land, remote from one another,
and as much conceived as I could, where I might
keep about a half dozen young goats in each place,
so that if any disaster happened to the flock in general,
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I might be able to raise them again with little
trouble and time. And this, though it would require a
good deal of time in labor, I thought was the
most rational design. Accordingly, I spent some time to find
out the most retired parts of the island, and I
pitched upon one which was as private, indeed as my
(01:32):
heart could wish. It was a little damp piece of
ground in the middle of the hollow and thick woods,
where as is observed, I almost lost myself once before
endeavoring to come back that way from the eastern part
of the island. Here I found a clear piece of
land near three acres, so surrounded with woods that it
(01:56):
was almost an enclosure by nature. At least it did
not want near so much labor to make it so
as the other piece of ground I had worked so
hard at. I immediately went to work with this piece
of ground, and in less than a month's time I
had so fenced it round that my flock or herd
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call it what she please, which were not so wild
now as at first they might be supposed to be,
were well enough secured in it. So without any further
delay I removed ten young she goats and two he
goats to this piece, and when they were there, I
continued to perfect the fence till I had made it
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as secure as the other, which, however, I did at
more leisure, and it took me up more time by
a great deal all this labor I was at the
expense of, purely from my apprehensions, on account of the
print of a man's foot, For as yet I had
never seen any human creature come near the island, and
(03:00):
I had now lived two years under this uneasiness, which
indeed made my life much less comfortable than it was before,
as may well be imagined by any who know what
it is to live in the constant snare of the
fear of man. And this I must observe with grief too,
(03:21):
that the discomposure of my mind had great impression also
upon the religious part of my thoughts. For the dread
and terror of falling into the hands of savages and
cannibals lay so upon my spirits that I seldom found
myself in a due temper for application to my maker,
at least not with the sedate calmness and resignation of soul,
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which I was wont to do. I rather prayed to
God as under great affliction and pressure of mind, surrounded
with danger, and in expectation every night of being murdered
and devoured before morning. And I must testify from my
experience that a temper of peace, thankfulness, love, and affection
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is much more the proper frame for prayer than that
of terror and discomposure, and that under the dread of
mischief impending a man is no more fit for a
comforting performance of the duty of praying to God than
he is for a repentance on a sick bed. For
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these discomposures affect the mind as the others do the body,
and the discomposure of the mind must necessarily be as
great a disability as that of the body, and much greater,
praying to God being properly an act of the mind,
not of the body. But to go on. After I
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had thus secured one part of my little living stock,
I went about the whole island, searching for another private
place to make such another deposit. When wandering more to
the west point of the island than I had ever
done yet, and looking out to the sea, I thought
I saw a boat upon the sea. At a great distance.
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I had found a perspective glass or two in one
of the seamen's chests, which I saved out of our ship.
But I had it not about me, and this was
so remote that I could not tell what to make
of it, though I looked at it till my eyes
were not able to hold to look any longer. Whether
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it was a boat or not, I do not know.
But as I descended from the hill, I could see
no more of it, so I gave it over only
I resolved to go no more out without a prospective
glass in my pocket. When I was come down the
hill to the end of the island, where indeed I
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had never been before, I was presently convinced that the
scene the print of a man's foot, was not such
a strange thing in the island as I imagined, but
that it was a special providence that I was cast
upon the side of the island where the savages never came.
I should easily have known that nothing was more frequent
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than for the canoes from the main when they happened
to be a little too far out at sea to
shoot over to that side of the island for harbor.
And likewise, as they often met and fought in their canoes,
the victors, having taken away prisoners, would bring them over
to this shore, where, according to their dreadful customs, being
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all cannibals, they would kill and eat them, end of
which hereafter, when I was come down the hill to
the shore, as I said above, being the southwest point
of the island, I was perfectly confounded and amazed. Nor
is it possible for me to express the horror of
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my mind at seeing the shore spread with skulls, hands, feet,
and other bones of human bodies. And particularly I observed
a place where there had been a fire made, and
a circle dug in the earth like a cockpit, where
I supposed the savage wretches had sat down to their
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human feastings upon the bodies of their fellow creatures. I
was so astonished with the sight of these things that
I entertained no notions of any danger to myself from it.
For a long while, all my apprehensions were buried in
the thoughts of such a pitch of inhuman hellish brutality,
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and the horror of the degeneracy of human nature, which
though I had heard of it often, yet I never
had so near a view of before. In short, I
turned away my face from the horrid spectacle. My stomach
grew sick, and I was just at the point of
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fainting when Nature discharged the disorder from my stomach, and
having vomited with uncommon violence, I was a little relieved,
but could not bear to stay in the place a moment.
So I got up the hill again with all the
speed I could, and walked on towards my own habitation.
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When I came a little out of that part of
the island, I stood still, awhile, amazed, and then recovering myself,
I looked up with the utmost affection of my soul,
and with a flood of tears in my eyes, gave
God thanks that had cast my first lot in a
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part of the world where I was distinguished from such
dreadful creatures as these, And that though I had esteemed
my present condition very miserable, had yet given me so
many comforts in it, that I had still more to
give thanks for than to complain of. And this above all,
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that I had, even in this miserable condition, been comforted
with the knowledge of Himself and the hope of His blessing,
which was a felicity more than sufficiently equivalent to all
the misery which I had suffered or could suffer. In
this frame of thankfulness, I went home to my castle
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and began to be much easier now as to the
safety of my circumstances than ever I was before. For
I had observed that these wretches never came to this
island in search of what they could get, perhaps not seeking,
not wanting, or not expecting anything here, and having often
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no doubt been up the covered witty part of it
without finding anything to their purpose. I knew I had
been here now almost eighteen years, and never saw the
least footsteps of human creature there before. And I might
be eighteen years more as entirely concealed as I was
now if I did not discover myself to them, which
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I had no manner of occasion to do, it being
only my business to keep myself entirely concealed where I was,
unless I found a better sort of creatures than cannibals
to make myself known to. Yet I entertained such an
abhorrence of the savage wretches that I had been speaking of,
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and of the wretched inhuman custom of their devouring and
eating one another up, that I continued pensive and sad,
and kept close within my own circle for all my
almost two years after this. When I say my own circle,
I mean by it my three plantations. That is my castle,
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my country seat, which I called my bower, and my
enclosure in the woods. Nor did I look after this
for any other use than an enclosure for my goats.
For the aversion which nature gave me to these hellish
wretches was such that I was as fearful of seeing
them as of seeing the devil himself. I did not
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so much as go to look after my boat all
this time, but began rather to think of making another,
for I could not think of ever making any more
attempts to bring the other boat round the island to me,
lest I should meet with some of these creatures at sea,
in which case, if I had happened to have fallen
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in their hands, I knew what would have been my lot. Time. However,
and these satisfaction I had that I was in no
danger of being discovered by these people began to wear
off my uneasiness about them, and I began to live
just the same composed manner as before, only with this
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difference that I used more caution and kept my eyes
more about me than I did before, lest I should
happen to be seen by any of them, And particularly
I was more cautious of firing my gun lest any
of them, being on the island, should happen to hear it.
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It was therefore a very good providence to me that
I had furnished myself with a tame breed of goats,
and that I had no need to hunt any more
about the woods or shoot at them. And if I
did catch any of them after this, it was by
traps and snares, as I had done before, So that
for two years after this, I believe I never fired
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my gun once off, though I never went out without it.
And what was more, as I had saved three pistols
out of the ship, I always carried them out with me,
or at least two of them, sticking them in my
goat skin belt. I also furbished up one of the
great cutlasses that I had out of the ship, and
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made me a belt to hang it on, also so
that I was now a most formidable fellow to look
at when I went abroad. If you add to the
former description of myself the particular of two pistols and
a broadsword hanging at my side in a belt and
without a scabbard. Things going on thus, as I have said,
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for some time I seemed, accepting these cautions to be
reduced to my former calm, sedate way of living. All
these things tended to show me more and more how
far my condition was from being miserable compared to some others,
to many other particulars of life, which it might have
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been pleasing to God to have made my lot. It
put me upon reflecting how little repining there would be
among mankind at any condition of life. If people would
rather compare their condition with those that were worse in
order to be thankful, then be always comparing them with
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those which are better to assist their murmurings and complainings.
As in my present condition, there were not really many
things which I wanted. So indeed, I thought that the
frights I had been in about these wretched savages, and
the concern I had been in for my own preservation,
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had taken off the edge of my invention for my
own conveniences, and I had dropped a good design which
I had once spent my thoughts upon, and that was
to try if I could not make some of my
barley into malt, and then try to brew myself some beer.
This was really a whimsical thought, and I reproved myself
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often for the simplicity of it, For I presently saw
that there would be the want of several things necessary
to the making of my beer, that it would be
impossible for me to supply as first task to preserve
it in which was a thing that, as I have
observed already, I could never compass. Now though I spent
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not only many days, but weeks, nay months, in attempting it,
but to no purpose. In the next place, I had
no hops to make it keep, no use to make
it work, no copper or cattle to make it boil.
And yet with all these things wanting, I verily believe
had not the frights and terrors I was in about
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the savages intervened. I had undertaken it and perhaps brought
it to pass. Two. For I sell gave anything over
without accomplishing it, when once I had it in my
head to begin it. But my invention now ran quite
another way. For night and day I could think of
nothing but how I might destroy some of the monsters
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in their cruel, bloody entertainment, and if possible, save the
victim they should bring hither to destroy. It would take
up a larger volume than this. Whole work is intended
to be to set down all the contrivances I hatched,
or rather brooded upon, in my thoughts for the destroying
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these creatures, or at least frightening them, so as to
prevent their coming hither anymore. But all this was a bortive.
Nothing could be possible to take effect unless I was
to be there to do it myself. And what could
one man do among them, when perhaps there might be
twenty or thirty of them, together with their dark arts,
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or their bows and arrows, with which they could shoot
as true to a mark as I could with my gun.
Sometimes I thought if digging a hole unto the place
where they made their fire, and putting in five or
six pounds of gunpowder, which when they kindled their fire,
would consequantly take fire and blow up all that was
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near it. But as in the first place, I should
be unwilling to waste so much powder upon them, my
store being now within the quantity of one barrel, so
neither could I be sure of its going off at
any certain time when it might surprise them, And at
best that it would do little more than just blow
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the fire about their ears and fright them, but not
sufficient to make them forsake the place. So I laid
it aside, and then proposed that I would place myself
in ambush in some convenient place, with my three guns,
all double loaded, and in the middle of their bloody ceremony,
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let fly at them when I should be sure to
kill or wound, perhaps two or three at every shot,
and then falling in among them with my three pistols
at my sword. I made no doubt but that if
there were twenty, I should kill them all. This fancy
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pleased my thoughts for some weeks, and I was so
full of it that I often dreamed of it, and
sometimes that I was just going to let fly at
them in my sleep. I went so far with it
in my imagination that I employed myself several days to
find out proper places to put myself in ambuscade, as
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I said, to watch for them. And I went frequently
to that place itself, which was now grown more familiar
to me. But while my mind was thus filled with
thoughts of revenge and a bloody putting twenty or thirty
of them to the sword, as I may call it,
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the horror I had at the place, and the signals
of the barbarous wretches devouring one another, abetded my malice well.
At length I found a place in the side of
the hill, where I was satisfied, I might securely wait
till I saw any of their boats coming, and might, then,
even before they would be ready to come on shore,
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convey myself unseen into some thickets of trees, in one
of which there was a hollow large enough to conceal
me entirely, And there I might sit and observe all
their bloody doings, and take my full aim at their
heads when they were so close together as that it
would be next to impossible that I should miss my shot,
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or that I would fail wounding three or four of
them at the first shot. In this place I resolved
to fulfill my design, and accordingly I prepared two muskets
and my ordinary filing piece. The two muskets I loaded
with a brace of slugs each and four or five
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smaller bullets about the size of pistol bullets, and the
foling piece I loaded with near a handful of swanshot
of the largest size. I also loaded my pistols with
about four bullets each, and in this posture well provided
with ammunition for a second and third charge, I prepared
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myself for my expedition. After I had thus laid the
scheme of my design, and in my imagination put it
in practice. I continually made my tour every morning to
the top of the hill, which was from my castle,
as I called it, about three miles or more, to
see if I could observe any boats upon the sea,
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coming near the island, or standing over towards it. But
I began to tire of this hard duty after I
had for two or three months constantly kept my watch,
but came always back without any discovery, there having not
in all that time been the least appearance, not only
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on or near the shore, but on the whole ocean,
so far as my eye or glass could reach every way.
As long as I kept my daily tour to the
hill to look out, so long also I kept up
the vigor of my design, and my spirit seemed to
be all the while in a suitable frame for so
outrageous an execution as the killing twenty or thirty naked savages,
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for an offense which I had not at all entered
into any discussion of in my thoughts any farther than
my passions were at first fired by the horror I
conceived at the unnatural custom of the people of that country, who,
it seems, had been suffered by Providence in his wise
disposition of the world, to have no other guide than
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that of their own abominable and vitiated passions, and consequently
were left, and perhaps had been so for some ages
to act such horrid things and receive such horrid customs,
as nothing but nature entirely abandoned by Heaven and actuated
by some hellish degeneracy, could have run them into. But now,
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when as I have said, I began to be weary
of the fruitless excursion which I had made so long,
and so far every morning in vain, so my opinion
of the action itself began to alter, and I began,
with cooler and calmer thoughts to consider what I was
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going to engage in. What authority or call I had
to pretend to be judge and executioner upon these men
as criminals whom Heaven had thought fit for so many
ages to suffer unpunished, to go on and to be,
as it were, the executioners of his judgments upon another.
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How far these people were offenders against me? And what
right I had to engage in the quarrel of that
blood which they shed promiscuously upon one another. I debated
this very often with myself. Thus, how do I know
what God himself judges in this particular case. It is
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certain these people do not commit this as a crime.
It is not against their own consciences reproving or their
light reproaching them. They do not know it to be
in offense, and then commit it in defiance of divine justice,
as we do in almost all the sins we commit.
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They think it no more a crime to kill a
captive taken in war than we do to kill an ox,
or to eat human flesh than we do to eat mutton.
When I considered this a little, it followed necessarily that
I was certainly in the wrong. That these people were
not murderers in the sense that I had before condemned
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them in my thoughts, anymore than those Christians were murderers
who often put to death the prisoners taken in battle,
or more frequently, upon many occasions, put whole troops of
men to the sword without giving quarter. Though they threw
down their arms and submitted. In the next place, it
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occurred to me that although the usage they gave one
another was thus brutish and inhuman, yet it was really
nothing to me. These people had done me no injury.
That if they attempted, or I saw it necessary for
my immediate preservation to fall upon them, something might be
said for it, but that I was yet out of
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their power, and they really had no knowledge of me,
and consequently no design upon me, and therefore it could
not be just for me to fall upon them. That
this would justify the conduct of the Spaniards and all
their barbarities practiced in America, where they destroyed millions of
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these people, who, however, they were idolaters and barbarians, and
had several bloody and barbarous rights in their customs, such
as sacrificing human bodies to their idols, were yet, as
to the Spaniards, very innocent people, and that the rooting
of them out of the country is spoken of with
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the utmost abhorrence and detestation by even the Spaniards themselves
at this time and by all other Christian nations of Europe,
as a mere butchery, a bloody and unnatural peace of cruelty,
unjustifiable either to God or man, and for which the
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very name of a Spaniard is reckoned to be frightful
and terrible to all people of humanity or of Christian compassion,
as if the Kingdom of Spain were particularly imminent for
the produce of a race of men who were without
principles of tenderness or the common bowels of pity to
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the miserable, which is reckoned to be a mark of
generous temper. In the mind, these considerations really put me
to a pause and to a kind of full stop.
And I began, by little and little to be off
my design, and to conclude that I had taken wrong
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measures in my resolution to attack the savages, and that
it was not my business to meddle with them unless
they first attacked me, and this it was my business,
if possible, to prevent, but that if I were discovered
and attacked by them, I knew my duty. On the
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other hand, I argued with myself that this was really
the way, not to deliver myself, but entirely to ruin
and destroy myself, For unless I was sure to kill
every one of them, that not only should be on
the shore at that time, but that should ever come
on shore afterwards if but one of them escaped to
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tell their country people what had happened, they would come
over again by thousands to revenge the death of their fellows,
and I should only bring upon myself a certain destruction
which at present I had no manner of occasion for.
Upon the whole I concluded that I ought neither in
principle nor in policy, one way or other, to concern
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myself in this affair. That my my business was by
all possible means to conceal myself from them, and not
to leave the least sign for them to guess by
that there were any living creatures upon the island, I
mean of human shape. Religion joined in with this prudential resolution,
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and I was convinced now many ways that I was
perfectly out of my duty when I was laying all
my bloody schemes for the destruction of innocent creatures, I
mean innocent as to me. As to the crimes they
were guilty of towards one another, I had nothing to
do with them. They were national, and I ought to
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leave them to the justice of God, who is the
governor of nations, and knows how by national punishments to
make a just retribution for national offenses, and to bring
public judgments upon those who offend in a public manner
by such ways as best please him. Appeared so clear
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to me now that nothing was a greater satisfaction to
me than that I had not been suffered to do
a thing which I now saw so much reason to
believe would have been no less a sin than that
of wilful murder if I had committed it. And I
gave most humble thanks on my knees to God that
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he had thus delivered me from blood guiltiness, beseeching him
to grant me the protection of his providence, that I
might not fall into the hands of the barbarians, or
that I might not lay my hands upon them, unless
I had a more clear call from Heaven to do
it in defense of my own life. In this disposition
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I continued for near a year after this, and so
far was I from desiring an occasion for falling upon
these wretches, that in all that time I never once
went up to the hill to see whether there were
any of them in sight, or to know whether any
of them had been on shore there or not. That
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I might not be tempted to renew any of my
contrivances against them, or be provoked by any advantage that
might present itself to fall upon them. Only this I did.
I went and removed my boat, which I had on
the other side of the island, and carried it down
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to the east end of the whole island, where I
ran it into a little cove which I found under
some high rocks, and where I knew, by reason of
the currents, the savages durst not at least would not
come with their boats upon any account whatsoever. With my
boat I carried away everything that I had left there
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belonging to her, though not necessary for the bear going thither.
That is a mast and sail which I had made
for her, in a thing like an anchor, but which
indeed could not be called either anchor or a grapnel. However,
it was the best I could make of its kind.
All these I removed that there might not be the
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least shadow for discovery or appearance of any boat, or
of any human habitation upon the island. Besides this, I
kept myself more to myself, as I said, more retired
than ever, and seldom went from my cell except upon
my constant employment to milk my she goats and manage
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my little flock in the wood, which, as it was
quite on the other part of the island, was out
of danger. For certain it is that these savage people
who sometimes haunted this island never came with any thoughts
of finding anything here, and consequently never wandered off from
the coast. And I doubt not, but they might have
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been several times on shore after my apprehensions of them
had made me cautious as well as before. Indeed, I
looked back with some horror upon the thoughts of what
my condition would have been if I had chopped upon
them and been discovered before that, when naked and unarmed
except with one gun, and that loaded often only with
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small shot, I walked everywhere, peeping and peering about the
island to see what I could get. What a surprise
should I have been in if when I discovered the
print of a man's foot, I had, instead of that,
seen fifteen or twenty savages, and found them pursuing me,
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and by the swiftness of their running, no possibility of
my escaping them. The thoughts of this sometimes sank my
very soul within me, and distressed my mind so much
that I could not soon recover it to think what
I should have done, and how I should not only
have been unable to resist them, but even should not
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have had presence of mind enough to do what I
might have done, much less what now, after so much
consideration and preparation I might be able to do. Indeed,
after serious thinking of these things, I would be melancholy,
and sometimes it would last a great while. But I
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resolved it all at last into thankfulness to that providence
which had delivered me, and had kept me from so
many unseen dangers, and from those mischiefs which I could
have no way been the agent in delivering myself from,
because I had not the least notion of any such
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thing depending or the least supposition of its being possible.
This renewed a contemplation which often had come into my
thought in former times, when first I began to see
the merciful dispositions of Heaven in the dangers we run
through in this life. How wonderfully we are delivered when
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we know nothing of it. How when we are in
a quandary, as we call it, a doubt or hesitation,
whether to go this way or that way, secret hint
will direct us this way when we intended to go
that way. Nay, when since our own inclination and perhaps business,
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has called us to go the other way. Yet a
strange impression upon the mind, from we know not what springs,
and by we know not what power shall overrule us
to go this way, and it shall afterwards appear that
had we gone that way which we should have gone,
(34:54):
and even to our imagination ought to have gone, we
should have been ruined and lost. Upon those and many
like reflections, I afterwards made it a certain rule with
me that whenever I found those secret hints or pressings
of mind to doing or not doing anything that presented
(35:15):
or going this way or that way, I never failed
to obey the secret dictate, though I knew no other
reason for it than such a pressure or such a
hint hung upon my mind. I could give many examples
of the success of this conduct in the course of
my life, but more especially in the latter part of
(35:37):
my inhabiting this unhappy island, besides many occasions which it
is very likely I might have taken notice of if
I had seen with the same eyes then that I
see with now. But it is never too late to
be wise, and I cannot but advise all considering men
(35:58):
whose lives are tended with such extraordinary incidents as mine,
or even though not so extraordinary, not to slight, such
secret intimations of providence. Let them come from what invisible
intelligence they will, that I shall not discuss, and perhaps
(36:18):
cannot account for. But certainly they are a proof of
the converse of spirits, and a secret communication between those
embodied and those unembodied, And such a proof as can
never be understood, of which I shall have occasion to
give some remarkable instances in the remainder of my solitary
(36:40):
residence in this dismal place. I believe the reader of
this will not think it's strange if I confess that
these anxieties, these constant dangers, I lived in, and the
concern that was now upon me, put an end to
all invention, into all the contrivances that I laid for
my fear future accommodations and conveniences. I had the care
(37:04):
of my safety more now upon my hands than that
of my food. I cared not to drive a nail
or chop a stick of wood now, for fear the
noise I might make should be heard. Much less would
I fire a gun for the same reason. And above
all I was intolerably uneasy at making any fire, lest
(37:25):
the smoke which is visible at a great distance. In
the day should betray me. For this reason, I removed
that part of my business which required fire, such as
burning of pots and pipes, et cetera, into my new
apartment in the woods, where after I had been for
some time, I found to my unspeakable consolation, a mere
(37:48):
natural cave in the earth, which went in a vast
way in where I dare say, no savage, had he
been at the mouth of it, would be so hearty
as to venture in. Indeed, would any man else but
one who like me, wanted nothing so much as a
safe retreat. The mouth of this hollow was at the
(38:11):
bottom of a great rock, where, by mere accident, I
would say, if I did not see abundant reason to
ascribe all such things now to providence. I was cutting
down some thick branches of trees to make charcoal, And
before I go on, I must observe the reason of
my making this charcoal, which was this. I was afraid
(38:34):
of making a smoke about my habitation, as I said before,
And yet I could not live there without baking my bread,
cooking my meat, etc. So I contrived to burn some
wood here, as I had seen done in England under turf,
till it became chark or dry coal, and then putting
(38:55):
the fire out, I preserved the coal to carry home
the other services for which fire was wanting, without danger
of smoke. But this is by the bye. While I
was cutting down some wood here I perceived that behind
a very thick branch of low brushwood or underwood, there
(39:17):
was a kind of hollow place. I was curious to
look in it, and getting with difficulty into the mouth
of it, I found it was pretty large, that is
to say, sufficient for me to stand upright in, and
perhaps another with me. But I must confess to you
that I made more haste out than I did in.
(39:37):
When looking farther into the place, which was perfectly dark,
I saw two broad shining eyes of some creature, whether
devil or man, I knew not, which twinkled like two stars,
the dim light from the cave's mouth, shining directly in
and making the reflection. However, after some pause, I recovered
(39:59):
myself and began to call myself a thousand fools, and
to think that he that was afraid to see the
devil was not fit to live twenty years in an
island all alone, and that I might well think there
was nothing in this cave that was more frightful than myself.
Upon this, plucking up my courage, I took up a firebrand,
(40:23):
and and I rushed again, with the stick flaming in
my hand. I had not gone three steps in before
I was almost as frightened as before, for I heard
a very loud sigh, like that of a man in
some pain, and it was followed by a broken noise,
as of words hath expressed, and then a deep sigh. Again.
(40:46):
I stepped back, and was indeed struck with such a
surprise that it put me into a cold sweat. And
if I had had a hat upon my head, I
will not answer for it that my hair might not
have lifted it off. But still plucking up my spirits
as well as I could, and encouraging myself a little
(41:07):
with considering that the power and presence of God was
everywhere and was able to protect me, I stepped forward again,
and by the light of the firebrand, holding it up
a little over my head, I saw lying on the
ground a monstrous, frightful old he goat, just making his will,
(41:29):
as we say, and gasping for life, and dying indeed
of mere old age. I stirred him a little to
see if I could get him out, And he has
saved to get up, but was not able to raise himself.
And I thought with myself he might even lie there,
for if he had frightened me, so he would certainly
(41:52):
fright away any of the savages, if any of them
should be so hearty as to come in there while
he had life in him. I was now recovered from
my surprise and began to look around me when I
found the cave was but very small. That is to say,
it might be about twelve feet over, but in no
(42:13):
manner of shape, neither round or square, no hands having
ever been employed in making it, but those of mere nature.
I observed also that there was a place at the
farther side of it that went in further, but was
so low that it required me to creep upon my
hands and knees to go into it. And whither it
(42:33):
went I knew not so, having no candle, I gave
it over for that time, but resolved to go again
the next day, provided with candles and a tinder box,
which I had made of the lock of one of
the muskets, with some wildfire in the pan. Accordingly, the
next day I came provided with six large candles of
(42:57):
my own making, for I had very good candles now
of goat's tallow, but was hard set for candle wick,
using sometimes rags or rope yarn, and sometimes the dried
rind of a weed like nettles. And going into this
low place, I was obliged to creep upon all fours,
as I have said, almost ten yards, which by the way,
(43:20):
I thought was a venture bold enough, considering that I
knew not how far it might go, nor what was
beyond it. When I had got through the strait, I
found the roof rose higher up, I believe near twenty feet.
But never was such a glorious sight seen in the island.
(43:43):
I dare say, as it was to look round the
sides and roof of this vault or cave. The wall
reflected one hundred thousand lights to me from my two candles.
What was in the rock, whether diamonds or any other
precious or gold, which I rather supposed it to be,
I knew not. The place I was in was a
(44:06):
most delightful cavity or grotto. Though perfectly dark, the floor
was dry and level and had a sort of a
small loose gravel upon it, so that there was no
nauseous or venomous creature to be seen. Neither was there
any damp or wet on the sides of roof. The
only difficulty in it was the entrance, which, however, as
(44:31):
it was a place of security and such a retreat
as I wanted, I thought was a convenience, so that
I was really rejoiced at the discovery, and resolved without
any delay to bring some of the things which I
was most anxious about to this place. Particularly, I resolved
to bring hinder my magazine of powder and all my
(44:54):
spare arms, that is two fouling pieces, for I had
three in all, and three muskets four of them I
had eight at all, so I kept in my castle
only five, which stood ready mounted like pieces of cannon,
on my utmost fence, and were ready also to take
out upon any expedition. Upon this occasion of removing my ammunition,
(45:19):
I happened to open the barrel of powder which I
took up out of the sea, and which had been wet,
And I found that the water had penetrated about three
or four inches into the powder on every side, which
caking and growing hard, had preserved the inside like a
kernel in the shell, so that I had near sixty
(45:41):
pounds of very good powder in the center of the cask.
This was a very agreeable discovery to be at that time.
So I carried all away thither, never keeping above two
or three pounds of powder with me in my castle,
for fear of a surprise of any kind. I also
carried thither all the lead I had left for bullets.
(46:04):
I fancied myself now like one of the ancient giants
who were said to live in caves and holes in
the rocks, where none could come at them. For I
persuaded myself while I was here that if five hundred
savages were to hunt me, they could never find me out,
or if they did, they would not venture to attack
(46:26):
me here. The old goat, whom I found expiring, died
in the mouth of the cave the next day after
I made this discovery, And I found it much easier
to dig a great hole there and throw him in
and cover him with earth than to drag him out.
So I in teared him there to prevent offense to
(46:48):
my nose. End of Chapter twelve
Chapter twelve, a cave retreat. While this was doing, I
was not altogether careless of my other affairs, for I
had a great concern upon me for my little herd
of goats. They were not only already supply to me
on every occasion, and began to be sufficient for me
(00:23):
without the expense of powder and shot, but also without
the fatigue of hunting after the wild ones. And I
was loath to lose the advantage of them, and to
have them all to nurse up over again. For this purpose,
After long consideration, I could think of but two ways
to preserve them. One was to find another convenient place
(00:47):
to dig a cave underground, and to drive them into
it every night. And the other was to enclose two
or three little bits of land, remote from one another,
and as much conceived as I could, where I might
keep about a half dozen young goats in each place,
so that if any disaster happened to the flock in general,
(01:10):
I might be able to raise them again with little
trouble and time. And this, though it would require a
good deal of time in labor, I thought was the
most rational design. Accordingly, I spent some time to find
out the most retired parts of the island, and I
pitched upon one which was as private, indeed as my
(01:32):
heart could wish. It was a little damp piece of
ground in the middle of the hollow and thick woods,
where as is observed, I almost lost myself once before
endeavoring to come back that way from the eastern part
of the island. Here I found a clear piece of
land near three acres, so surrounded with woods that it
(01:56):
was almost an enclosure by nature. At least it did
not want near so much labor to make it so
as the other piece of ground I had worked so
hard at. I immediately went to work with this piece
of ground, and in less than a month's time I
had so fenced it round that my flock or herd
(02:17):
call it what she please, which were not so wild
now as at first they might be supposed to be,
were well enough secured in it. So without any further
delay I removed ten young she goats and two he
goats to this piece, and when they were there, I
continued to perfect the fence till I had made it
(02:38):
as secure as the other, which, however, I did at
more leisure, and it took me up more time by
a great deal all this labor I was at the
expense of, purely from my apprehensions, on account of the
print of a man's foot, For as yet I had
never seen any human creature come near the island, and
(03:00):
I had now lived two years under this uneasiness, which
indeed made my life much less comfortable than it was before,
as may well be imagined by any who know what
it is to live in the constant snare of the
fear of man. And this I must observe with grief too,
(03:21):
that the discomposure of my mind had great impression also
upon the religious part of my thoughts. For the dread
and terror of falling into the hands of savages and
cannibals lay so upon my spirits that I seldom found
myself in a due temper for application to my maker,
at least not with the sedate calmness and resignation of soul,
(03:45):
which I was wont to do. I rather prayed to
God as under great affliction and pressure of mind, surrounded
with danger, and in expectation every night of being murdered
and devoured before morning. And I must testify from my
experience that a temper of peace, thankfulness, love, and affection
(04:10):
is much more the proper frame for prayer than that
of terror and discomposure, and that under the dread of
mischief impending a man is no more fit for a
comforting performance of the duty of praying to God than
he is for a repentance on a sick bed. For
(04:30):
these discomposures affect the mind as the others do the body,
and the discomposure of the mind must necessarily be as
great a disability as that of the body, and much greater,
praying to God being properly an act of the mind,
not of the body. But to go on. After I
(04:54):
had thus secured one part of my little living stock,
I went about the whole island, searching for another private
place to make such another deposit. When wandering more to
the west point of the island than I had ever
done yet, and looking out to the sea, I thought
I saw a boat upon the sea. At a great distance.
(05:18):
I had found a perspective glass or two in one
of the seamen's chests, which I saved out of our ship.
But I had it not about me, and this was
so remote that I could not tell what to make
of it, though I looked at it till my eyes
were not able to hold to look any longer. Whether
(05:39):
it was a boat or not, I do not know.
But as I descended from the hill, I could see
no more of it, so I gave it over only
I resolved to go no more out without a prospective
glass in my pocket. When I was come down the
hill to the end of the island, where indeed I
(06:02):
had never been before, I was presently convinced that the
scene the print of a man's foot, was not such
a strange thing in the island as I imagined, but
that it was a special providence that I was cast
upon the side of the island where the savages never came.
I should easily have known that nothing was more frequent
(06:24):
than for the canoes from the main when they happened
to be a little too far out at sea to
shoot over to that side of the island for harbor.
And likewise, as they often met and fought in their canoes,
the victors, having taken away prisoners, would bring them over
to this shore, where, according to their dreadful customs, being
(06:46):
all cannibals, they would kill and eat them, end of
which hereafter, when I was come down the hill to
the shore, as I said above, being the southwest point
of the island, I was perfectly confounded and amazed. Nor
is it possible for me to express the horror of
(07:08):
my mind at seeing the shore spread with skulls, hands, feet,
and other bones of human bodies. And particularly I observed
a place where there had been a fire made, and
a circle dug in the earth like a cockpit, where
I supposed the savage wretches had sat down to their
(07:29):
human feastings upon the bodies of their fellow creatures. I
was so astonished with the sight of these things that
I entertained no notions of any danger to myself from it.
For a long while, all my apprehensions were buried in
the thoughts of such a pitch of inhuman hellish brutality,
(07:52):
and the horror of the degeneracy of human nature, which
though I had heard of it often, yet I never
had so near a view of before. In short, I
turned away my face from the horrid spectacle. My stomach
grew sick, and I was just at the point of
(08:12):
fainting when Nature discharged the disorder from my stomach, and
having vomited with uncommon violence, I was a little relieved,
but could not bear to stay in the place a moment.
So I got up the hill again with all the
speed I could, and walked on towards my own habitation.
(08:36):
When I came a little out of that part of
the island, I stood still, awhile, amazed, and then recovering myself,
I looked up with the utmost affection of my soul,
and with a flood of tears in my eyes, gave
God thanks that had cast my first lot in a
(08:57):
part of the world where I was distinguished from such
dreadful creatures as these, And that though I had esteemed
my present condition very miserable, had yet given me so
many comforts in it, that I had still more to
give thanks for than to complain of. And this above all,
(09:18):
that I had, even in this miserable condition, been comforted
with the knowledge of Himself and the hope of His blessing,
which was a felicity more than sufficiently equivalent to all
the misery which I had suffered or could suffer. In
this frame of thankfulness, I went home to my castle
(09:41):
and began to be much easier now as to the
safety of my circumstances than ever I was before. For
I had observed that these wretches never came to this
island in search of what they could get, perhaps not seeking,
not wanting, or not expecting anything here, and having often
(10:02):
no doubt been up the covered witty part of it
without finding anything to their purpose. I knew I had
been here now almost eighteen years, and never saw the
least footsteps of human creature there before. And I might
be eighteen years more as entirely concealed as I was
now if I did not discover myself to them, which
(10:25):
I had no manner of occasion to do, it being
only my business to keep myself entirely concealed where I was,
unless I found a better sort of creatures than cannibals
to make myself known to. Yet I entertained such an
abhorrence of the savage wretches that I had been speaking of,
(10:47):
and of the wretched inhuman custom of their devouring and
eating one another up, that I continued pensive and sad,
and kept close within my own circle for all my
almost two years after this. When I say my own circle,
I mean by it my three plantations. That is my castle,
(11:08):
my country seat, which I called my bower, and my
enclosure in the woods. Nor did I look after this
for any other use than an enclosure for my goats.
For the aversion which nature gave me to these hellish
wretches was such that I was as fearful of seeing
them as of seeing the devil himself. I did not
(11:31):
so much as go to look after my boat all
this time, but began rather to think of making another,
for I could not think of ever making any more
attempts to bring the other boat round the island to me,
lest I should meet with some of these creatures at sea,
in which case, if I had happened to have fallen
(11:52):
in their hands, I knew what would have been my lot. Time. However,
and these satisfaction I had that I was in no
danger of being discovered by these people began to wear
off my uneasiness about them, and I began to live
just the same composed manner as before, only with this
(12:13):
difference that I used more caution and kept my eyes
more about me than I did before, lest I should
happen to be seen by any of them, And particularly
I was more cautious of firing my gun lest any
of them, being on the island, should happen to hear it.
(12:33):
It was therefore a very good providence to me that
I had furnished myself with a tame breed of goats,
and that I had no need to hunt any more
about the woods or shoot at them. And if I
did catch any of them after this, it was by
traps and snares, as I had done before, So that
for two years after this, I believe I never fired
(12:55):
my gun once off, though I never went out without it.
And what was more, as I had saved three pistols
out of the ship, I always carried them out with me,
or at least two of them, sticking them in my
goat skin belt. I also furbished up one of the
great cutlasses that I had out of the ship, and
(13:18):
made me a belt to hang it on, also so
that I was now a most formidable fellow to look
at when I went abroad. If you add to the
former description of myself the particular of two pistols and
a broadsword hanging at my side in a belt and
without a scabbard. Things going on thus, as I have said,
(13:42):
for some time I seemed, accepting these cautions to be
reduced to my former calm, sedate way of living. All
these things tended to show me more and more how
far my condition was from being miserable compared to some others,
to many other particulars of life, which it might have
(14:03):
been pleasing to God to have made my lot. It
put me upon reflecting how little repining there would be
among mankind at any condition of life. If people would
rather compare their condition with those that were worse in
order to be thankful, then be always comparing them with
(14:24):
those which are better to assist their murmurings and complainings.
As in my present condition, there were not really many
things which I wanted. So indeed, I thought that the
frights I had been in about these wretched savages, and
the concern I had been in for my own preservation,
(14:46):
had taken off the edge of my invention for my
own conveniences, and I had dropped a good design which
I had once spent my thoughts upon, and that was
to try if I could not make some of my
barley into malt, and then try to brew myself some beer.
This was really a whimsical thought, and I reproved myself
(15:09):
often for the simplicity of it, For I presently saw
that there would be the want of several things necessary
to the making of my beer, that it would be
impossible for me to supply as first task to preserve
it in which was a thing that, as I have
observed already, I could never compass. Now though I spent
(15:31):
not only many days, but weeks, nay months, in attempting it,
but to no purpose. In the next place, I had
no hops to make it keep, no use to make
it work, no copper or cattle to make it boil.
And yet with all these things wanting, I verily believe
had not the frights and terrors I was in about
(15:53):
the savages intervened. I had undertaken it and perhaps brought
it to pass. Two. For I sell gave anything over
without accomplishing it, when once I had it in my
head to begin it. But my invention now ran quite
another way. For night and day I could think of
nothing but how I might destroy some of the monsters
(16:15):
in their cruel, bloody entertainment, and if possible, save the
victim they should bring hither to destroy. It would take
up a larger volume than this. Whole work is intended
to be to set down all the contrivances I hatched,
or rather brooded upon, in my thoughts for the destroying
(16:37):
these creatures, or at least frightening them, so as to
prevent their coming hither anymore. But all this was a bortive.
Nothing could be possible to take effect unless I was
to be there to do it myself. And what could
one man do among them, when perhaps there might be
twenty or thirty of them, together with their dark arts,
(17:00):
or their bows and arrows, with which they could shoot
as true to a mark as I could with my gun.
Sometimes I thought if digging a hole unto the place
where they made their fire, and putting in five or
six pounds of gunpowder, which when they kindled their fire,
would consequantly take fire and blow up all that was
(17:22):
near it. But as in the first place, I should
be unwilling to waste so much powder upon them, my
store being now within the quantity of one barrel, so
neither could I be sure of its going off at
any certain time when it might surprise them, And at
best that it would do little more than just blow
(17:43):
the fire about their ears and fright them, but not
sufficient to make them forsake the place. So I laid
it aside, and then proposed that I would place myself
in ambush in some convenient place, with my three guns,
all double loaded, and in the middle of their bloody ceremony,
(18:03):
let fly at them when I should be sure to
kill or wound, perhaps two or three at every shot,
and then falling in among them with my three pistols
at my sword. I made no doubt but that if
there were twenty, I should kill them all. This fancy
(18:24):
pleased my thoughts for some weeks, and I was so
full of it that I often dreamed of it, and
sometimes that I was just going to let fly at
them in my sleep. I went so far with it
in my imagination that I employed myself several days to
find out proper places to put myself in ambuscade, as
(18:47):
I said, to watch for them. And I went frequently
to that place itself, which was now grown more familiar
to me. But while my mind was thus filled with
thoughts of revenge and a bloody putting twenty or thirty
of them to the sword, as I may call it,
(19:07):
the horror I had at the place, and the signals
of the barbarous wretches devouring one another, abetded my malice well.
At length I found a place in the side of
the hill, where I was satisfied, I might securely wait
till I saw any of their boats coming, and might, then,
even before they would be ready to come on shore,
(19:30):
convey myself unseen into some thickets of trees, in one
of which there was a hollow large enough to conceal
me entirely, And there I might sit and observe all
their bloody doings, and take my full aim at their
heads when they were so close together as that it
would be next to impossible that I should miss my shot,
(19:54):
or that I would fail wounding three or four of
them at the first shot. In this place I resolved
to fulfill my design, and accordingly I prepared two muskets
and my ordinary filing piece. The two muskets I loaded
with a brace of slugs each and four or five
(20:14):
smaller bullets about the size of pistol bullets, and the
foling piece I loaded with near a handful of swanshot
of the largest size. I also loaded my pistols with
about four bullets each, and in this posture well provided
with ammunition for a second and third charge, I prepared
(20:35):
myself for my expedition. After I had thus laid the
scheme of my design, and in my imagination put it
in practice. I continually made my tour every morning to
the top of the hill, which was from my castle,
as I called it, about three miles or more, to
see if I could observe any boats upon the sea,
(20:58):
coming near the island, or standing over towards it. But
I began to tire of this hard duty after I
had for two or three months constantly kept my watch,
but came always back without any discovery, there having not
in all that time been the least appearance, not only
(21:18):
on or near the shore, but on the whole ocean,
so far as my eye or glass could reach every way.
As long as I kept my daily tour to the
hill to look out, so long also I kept up
the vigor of my design, and my spirit seemed to
be all the while in a suitable frame for so
outrageous an execution as the killing twenty or thirty naked savages,
(21:43):
for an offense which I had not at all entered
into any discussion of in my thoughts any farther than
my passions were at first fired by the horror I
conceived at the unnatural custom of the people of that country, who,
it seems, had been suffered by Providence in his wise
disposition of the world, to have no other guide than
(22:06):
that of their own abominable and vitiated passions, and consequently
were left, and perhaps had been so for some ages
to act such horrid things and receive such horrid customs,
as nothing but nature entirely abandoned by Heaven and actuated
by some hellish degeneracy, could have run them into. But now,
(22:32):
when as I have said, I began to be weary
of the fruitless excursion which I had made so long,
and so far every morning in vain, so my opinion
of the action itself began to alter, and I began,
with cooler and calmer thoughts to consider what I was
(22:52):
going to engage in. What authority or call I had
to pretend to be judge and executioner upon these men
as criminals whom Heaven had thought fit for so many
ages to suffer unpunished, to go on and to be,
as it were, the executioners of his judgments upon another.
(23:14):
How far these people were offenders against me? And what
right I had to engage in the quarrel of that
blood which they shed promiscuously upon one another. I debated
this very often with myself. Thus, how do I know
what God himself judges in this particular case. It is
(23:36):
certain these people do not commit this as a crime.
It is not against their own consciences reproving or their
light reproaching them. They do not know it to be
in offense, and then commit it in defiance of divine justice,
as we do in almost all the sins we commit.
(23:58):
They think it no more a crime to kill a
captive taken in war than we do to kill an ox,
or to eat human flesh than we do to eat mutton.
When I considered this a little, it followed necessarily that
I was certainly in the wrong. That these people were
not murderers in the sense that I had before condemned
(24:21):
them in my thoughts, anymore than those Christians were murderers
who often put to death the prisoners taken in battle,
or more frequently, upon many occasions, put whole troops of
men to the sword without giving quarter. Though they threw
down their arms and submitted. In the next place, it
(24:42):
occurred to me that although the usage they gave one
another was thus brutish and inhuman, yet it was really
nothing to me. These people had done me no injury.
That if they attempted, or I saw it necessary for
my immediate preservation to fall upon them, something might be
said for it, but that I was yet out of
(25:04):
their power, and they really had no knowledge of me,
and consequently no design upon me, and therefore it could
not be just for me to fall upon them. That
this would justify the conduct of the Spaniards and all
their barbarities practiced in America, where they destroyed millions of
(25:26):
these people, who, however, they were idolaters and barbarians, and
had several bloody and barbarous rights in their customs, such
as sacrificing human bodies to their idols, were yet, as
to the Spaniards, very innocent people, and that the rooting
of them out of the country is spoken of with
(25:48):
the utmost abhorrence and detestation by even the Spaniards themselves
at this time and by all other Christian nations of Europe,
as a mere butchery, a bloody and unnatural peace of cruelty,
unjustifiable either to God or man, and for which the
(26:08):
very name of a Spaniard is reckoned to be frightful
and terrible to all people of humanity or of Christian compassion,
as if the Kingdom of Spain were particularly imminent for
the produce of a race of men who were without
principles of tenderness or the common bowels of pity to
(26:31):
the miserable, which is reckoned to be a mark of
generous temper. In the mind, these considerations really put me
to a pause and to a kind of full stop.
And I began, by little and little to be off
my design, and to conclude that I had taken wrong
(26:52):
measures in my resolution to attack the savages, and that
it was not my business to meddle with them unless
they first attacked me, and this it was my business,
if possible, to prevent, but that if I were discovered
and attacked by them, I knew my duty. On the
(27:12):
other hand, I argued with myself that this was really
the way, not to deliver myself, but entirely to ruin
and destroy myself, For unless I was sure to kill
every one of them, that not only should be on
the shore at that time, but that should ever come
on shore afterwards if but one of them escaped to
(27:34):
tell their country people what had happened, they would come
over again by thousands to revenge the death of their fellows,
and I should only bring upon myself a certain destruction
which at present I had no manner of occasion for.
Upon the whole I concluded that I ought neither in
principle nor in policy, one way or other, to concern
(27:57):
myself in this affair. That my my business was by
all possible means to conceal myself from them, and not
to leave the least sign for them to guess by
that there were any living creatures upon the island, I
mean of human shape. Religion joined in with this prudential resolution,
(28:20):
and I was convinced now many ways that I was
perfectly out of my duty when I was laying all
my bloody schemes for the destruction of innocent creatures, I
mean innocent as to me. As to the crimes they
were guilty of towards one another, I had nothing to
do with them. They were national, and I ought to
(28:40):
leave them to the justice of God, who is the
governor of nations, and knows how by national punishments to
make a just retribution for national offenses, and to bring
public judgments upon those who offend in a public manner
by such ways as best please him. Appeared so clear
(29:01):
to me now that nothing was a greater satisfaction to
me than that I had not been suffered to do
a thing which I now saw so much reason to
believe would have been no less a sin than that
of wilful murder if I had committed it. And I
gave most humble thanks on my knees to God that
(29:23):
he had thus delivered me from blood guiltiness, beseeching him
to grant me the protection of his providence, that I
might not fall into the hands of the barbarians, or
that I might not lay my hands upon them, unless
I had a more clear call from Heaven to do
it in defense of my own life. In this disposition
(29:48):
I continued for near a year after this, and so
far was I from desiring an occasion for falling upon
these wretches, that in all that time I never once
went up to the hill to see whether there were
any of them in sight, or to know whether any
of them had been on shore there or not. That
(30:09):
I might not be tempted to renew any of my
contrivances against them, or be provoked by any advantage that
might present itself to fall upon them. Only this I did.
I went and removed my boat, which I had on
the other side of the island, and carried it down
(30:29):
to the east end of the whole island, where I
ran it into a little cove which I found under
some high rocks, and where I knew, by reason of
the currents, the savages durst not at least would not
come with their boats upon any account whatsoever. With my
boat I carried away everything that I had left there
(30:52):
belonging to her, though not necessary for the bear going thither.
That is a mast and sail which I had made
for her, in a thing like an anchor, but which
indeed could not be called either anchor or a grapnel. However,
it was the best I could make of its kind.
All these I removed that there might not be the
(31:15):
least shadow for discovery or appearance of any boat, or
of any human habitation upon the island. Besides this, I
kept myself more to myself, as I said, more retired
than ever, and seldom went from my cell except upon
my constant employment to milk my she goats and manage
(31:38):
my little flock in the wood, which, as it was
quite on the other part of the island, was out
of danger. For certain it is that these savage people
who sometimes haunted this island never came with any thoughts
of finding anything here, and consequently never wandered off from
the coast. And I doubt not, but they might have
(32:01):
been several times on shore after my apprehensions of them
had made me cautious as well as before. Indeed, I
looked back with some horror upon the thoughts of what
my condition would have been if I had chopped upon
them and been discovered before that, when naked and unarmed
except with one gun, and that loaded often only with
(32:24):
small shot, I walked everywhere, peeping and peering about the
island to see what I could get. What a surprise
should I have been in if when I discovered the
print of a man's foot, I had, instead of that,
seen fifteen or twenty savages, and found them pursuing me,
(32:44):
and by the swiftness of their running, no possibility of
my escaping them. The thoughts of this sometimes sank my
very soul within me, and distressed my mind so much
that I could not soon recover it to think what
I should have done, and how I should not only
have been unable to resist them, but even should not
(33:07):
have had presence of mind enough to do what I
might have done, much less what now, after so much
consideration and preparation I might be able to do. Indeed,
after serious thinking of these things, I would be melancholy,
and sometimes it would last a great while. But I
(33:28):
resolved it all at last into thankfulness to that providence
which had delivered me, and had kept me from so
many unseen dangers, and from those mischiefs which I could
have no way been the agent in delivering myself from,
because I had not the least notion of any such
(33:50):
thing depending or the least supposition of its being possible.
This renewed a contemplation which often had come into my
thought in former times, when first I began to see
the merciful dispositions of Heaven in the dangers we run
through in this life. How wonderfully we are delivered when
(34:12):
we know nothing of it. How when we are in
a quandary, as we call it, a doubt or hesitation,
whether to go this way or that way, secret hint
will direct us this way when we intended to go
that way. Nay, when since our own inclination and perhaps business,
(34:33):
has called us to go the other way. Yet a
strange impression upon the mind, from we know not what springs,
and by we know not what power shall overrule us
to go this way, and it shall afterwards appear that
had we gone that way which we should have gone,
(34:54):
and even to our imagination ought to have gone, we
should have been ruined and lost. Upon those and many
like reflections, I afterwards made it a certain rule with
me that whenever I found those secret hints or pressings
of mind to doing or not doing anything that presented
(35:15):
or going this way or that way, I never failed
to obey the secret dictate, though I knew no other
reason for it than such a pressure or such a
hint hung upon my mind. I could give many examples
of the success of this conduct in the course of
my life, but more especially in the latter part of
(35:37):
my inhabiting this unhappy island, besides many occasions which it
is very likely I might have taken notice of if
I had seen with the same eyes then that I
see with now. But it is never too late to
be wise, and I cannot but advise all considering men
(35:58):
whose lives are tended with such extraordinary incidents as mine,
or even though not so extraordinary, not to slight, such
secret intimations of providence. Let them come from what invisible
intelligence they will, that I shall not discuss, and perhaps
(36:18):
cannot account for. But certainly they are a proof of
the converse of spirits, and a secret communication between those
embodied and those unembodied, And such a proof as can
never be understood, of which I shall have occasion to
give some remarkable instances in the remainder of my solitary
(36:40):
residence in this dismal place. I believe the reader of
this will not think it's strange if I confess that
these anxieties, these constant dangers, I lived in, and the
concern that was now upon me, put an end to
all invention, into all the contrivances that I laid for
my fear future accommodations and conveniences. I had the care
(37:04):
of my safety more now upon my hands than that
of my food. I cared not to drive a nail
or chop a stick of wood now, for fear the
noise I might make should be heard. Much less would
I fire a gun for the same reason. And above
all I was intolerably uneasy at making any fire, lest
(37:25):
the smoke which is visible at a great distance. In
the day should betray me. For this reason, I removed
that part of my business which required fire, such as
burning of pots and pipes, et cetera, into my new
apartment in the woods, where after I had been for
some time, I found to my unspeakable consolation, a mere
(37:48):
natural cave in the earth, which went in a vast
way in where I dare say, no savage, had he
been at the mouth of it, would be so hearty
as to venture in. Indeed, would any man else but
one who like me, wanted nothing so much as a
safe retreat. The mouth of this hollow was at the
(38:11):
bottom of a great rock, where, by mere accident, I
would say, if I did not see abundant reason to
ascribe all such things now to providence. I was cutting
down some thick branches of trees to make charcoal, And
before I go on, I must observe the reason of
my making this charcoal, which was this. I was afraid
(38:34):
of making a smoke about my habitation, as I said before,
And yet I could not live there without baking my bread,
cooking my meat, etc. So I contrived to burn some
wood here, as I had seen done in England under turf,
till it became chark or dry coal, and then putting
(38:55):
the fire out, I preserved the coal to carry home
the other services for which fire was wanting, without danger
of smoke. But this is by the bye. While I
was cutting down some wood here I perceived that behind
a very thick branch of low brushwood or underwood, there
(39:17):
was a kind of hollow place. I was curious to
look in it, and getting with difficulty into the mouth
of it, I found it was pretty large, that is
to say, sufficient for me to stand upright in, and
perhaps another with me. But I must confess to you
that I made more haste out than I did in.
(39:37):
When looking farther into the place, which was perfectly dark,
I saw two broad shining eyes of some creature, whether
devil or man, I knew not, which twinkled like two stars,
the dim light from the cave's mouth, shining directly in
and making the reflection. However, after some pause, I recovered
(39:59):
myself and began to call myself a thousand fools, and
to think that he that was afraid to see the
devil was not fit to live twenty years in an
island all alone, and that I might well think there
was nothing in this cave that was more frightful than myself.
Upon this, plucking up my courage, I took up a firebrand,
(40:23):
and and I rushed again, with the stick flaming in
my hand. I had not gone three steps in before
I was almost as frightened as before, for I heard
a very loud sigh, like that of a man in
some pain, and it was followed by a broken noise,
as of words hath expressed, and then a deep sigh. Again.
(40:46):
I stepped back, and was indeed struck with such a
surprise that it put me into a cold sweat. And
if I had had a hat upon my head, I
will not answer for it that my hair might not
have lifted it off. But still plucking up my spirits
as well as I could, and encouraging myself a little
(41:07):
with considering that the power and presence of God was
everywhere and was able to protect me, I stepped forward again,
and by the light of the firebrand, holding it up
a little over my head, I saw lying on the
ground a monstrous, frightful old he goat, just making his will,
(41:29):
as we say, and gasping for life, and dying indeed
of mere old age. I stirred him a little to
see if I could get him out, And he has
saved to get up, but was not able to raise himself.
And I thought with myself he might even lie there,
for if he had frightened me, so he would certainly
(41:52):
fright away any of the savages, if any of them
should be so hearty as to come in there while
he had life in him. I was now recovered from
my surprise and began to look around me when I
found the cave was but very small. That is to say,
it might be about twelve feet over, but in no
(42:13):
manner of shape, neither round or square, no hands having
ever been employed in making it, but those of mere nature.
I observed also that there was a place at the
farther side of it that went in further, but was
so low that it required me to creep upon my
hands and knees to go into it. And whither it
(42:33):
went I knew not so, having no candle, I gave
it over for that time, but resolved to go again
the next day, provided with candles and a tinder box,
which I had made of the lock of one of
the muskets, with some wildfire in the pan. Accordingly, the
next day I came provided with six large candles of
(42:57):
my own making, for I had very good candles now
of goat's tallow, but was hard set for candle wick,
using sometimes rags or rope yarn, and sometimes the dried
rind of a weed like nettles. And going into this
low place, I was obliged to creep upon all fours,
as I have said, almost ten yards, which by the way,
(43:20):
I thought was a venture bold enough, considering that I
knew not how far it might go, nor what was
beyond it. When I had got through the strait, I
found the roof rose higher up, I believe near twenty feet.
But never was such a glorious sight seen in the island.
(43:43):
I dare say, as it was to look round the
sides and roof of this vault or cave. The wall
reflected one hundred thousand lights to me from my two candles.
What was in the rock, whether diamonds or any other
precious or gold, which I rather supposed it to be,
I knew not. The place I was in was a
(44:06):
most delightful cavity or grotto. Though perfectly dark, the floor
was dry and level and had a sort of a
small loose gravel upon it, so that there was no
nauseous or venomous creature to be seen. Neither was there
any damp or wet on the sides of roof. The
only difficulty in it was the entrance, which, however, as
(44:31):
it was a place of security and such a retreat
as I wanted, I thought was a convenience, so that
I was really rejoiced at the discovery, and resolved without
any delay to bring some of the things which I
was most anxious about to this place. Particularly, I resolved
to bring hinder my magazine of powder and all my
(44:54):
spare arms, that is two fouling pieces, for I had
three in all, and three muskets four of them I
had eight at all, so I kept in my castle
only five, which stood ready mounted like pieces of cannon,
on my utmost fence, and were ready also to take
out upon any expedition. Upon this occasion of removing my ammunition,
(45:19):
I happened to open the barrel of powder which I
took up out of the sea, and which had been wet,
And I found that the water had penetrated about three
or four inches into the powder on every side, which
caking and growing hard, had preserved the inside like a
kernel in the shell, so that I had near sixty
(45:41):
pounds of very good powder in the center of the cask.
This was a very agreeable discovery to be at that time.
So I carried all away thither, never keeping above two
or three pounds of powder with me in my castle,
for fear of a surprise of any kind. I also
carried thither all the lead I had left for bullets.
(46:04):
I fancied myself now like one of the ancient giants
who were said to live in caves and holes in
the rocks, where none could come at them. For I
persuaded myself while I was here that if five hundred
savages were to hunt me, they could never find me out,
or if they did, they would not venture to attack
(46:26):
me here. The old goat, whom I found expiring, died
in the mouth of the cave the next day after
I made this discovery, And I found it much easier
to dig a great hole there and throw him in
and cover him with earth than to drag him out.
So I in teared him there to prevent offense to
(46:48):
my nose. End of Chapter twelve
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