December 1, 2023 • 26 mins
MUCH MORE THAN JUST A WOMEN’S SHELTER. Genesis Women’s Shelter CEO, Jan Langbein, discusses the growth and many support services for women and families who have experienced domestic violence. One in three women have been victims of domestic violence. You can help by watching this podcast and sharing it with everyone you know. https://www.genesisshelter.org/
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Episode Transcript
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(00:08):
Welcome to Advocacy and Motion. I'myour host Tommy Finn, and we're here
every week to give a vision anda voice to nonprofit organizations and individuals making
a difference in our community. BeforeI introduced my guest today, I want
to say thank you to our presentingsponsor, Niagara Conservation. Niagra has been
the leading manufacturer and distributor of watersaving, cost saving plumbing products, and
(00:34):
here's my partner Trisia Milwaukee to tellyou all about these new products. Thanks
Tommy, and thanks Niagara for yourcontinuing support of nonprofit organizations. If you
want to get the ultimate experience andcleanliness and comfort without breaking the bank,
and transform your bathrooms with Niagara fromtoilets to today's Niagara has the perfect solution
(00:55):
for any bathroom project. Niagara's awardwinning products not only outperformed competitors, but
they also out design them. Thanksto innovations like stealth technology, Niagris products
can use half as much water asthe competitors, providing you with a solution
that will help with the environment andsave you money. Shop now on Amazon
or at home depot dot com.Well welcome. My guest today is jan
(01:19):
Langbin. She is the CEO ofGenesis Women's Shelter here in Dallas. Thank
you for joining us, Thank youfor having us. I appreciate it.
I know that on your website saidyour services are designed to help women and
children affected by domestic abuse in ourcommunity and find a safe way to create
abuse free lives they deserve. Isthat your mission statement is that almost That
(01:42):
sums up about half of it.We are there to provide safety, shelter,
counseling, information, advocacy, legalservices. But the other half of
that mission statement is to work toraise the level of awareness about violence against
women, the effects of it,and the solutions. So half of it
is what we do every day.Then the other half is doing things just
(02:05):
like this to where we can talkto people and let listeners or friends or
neighbors know that there is help andthere is hope. That is wonderful.
It's a great thing. Now,how did you get involved? Oh my
gosh, So I've been CEO forthirty two years. Seriously, when I
hear myself say it, that soundsso strange. But I started as a
volunteer. I was the Tuesday Morningvolunteer. I'm a member of the Junior
(02:29):
League of Dallas, which actually placesvolunteers in nonprofit organizations throughout the city.
And I was the Tuesday morning volunteerand I'd answer the helpline and i'd rock
babies and i'd make kool aid forwhen the kids got out of school.
And it touched my heart. I'mnot from abuse, and I guess I
am. I was shocked that somebodywould beat somebody because dinner was late,
(02:53):
or someone would hurt a child ina way that a touch that can never
be untouched. I was just outraged, actually, and that anger was very
motivational to me. And I endedup on the board of directors for Genesis
and one day they came and said, we need new leadership. She needs
(03:14):
to be able to work the crowdand raise money. And out of my
mouth shoots, oh my gosh,I think that's me. So I was.
I can't believe they hired me.I was a stay at home mom.
I had never hired or fired orreally read a financial statement. But
that wasn't the point of it was. I felt led to do what I
can with what I had, whateverthat is. And I think that's the
(03:34):
goal of today is for your listenersand your viewers just doing what they can
with what they have, and Ipromise you it will make a difference in
somebody else's life. That is thatis terrific. Now you said you've been
their number of years, how's genhas grown over those course? What have
you seen most impactful? Well?Yes, as I mentioned, I had
never led an organization, nonprofit orotherwise. But the way I when I
(04:00):
first got there, it was aseven bedroom shelter, just overnight care,
basically, very few programs, maybesome after school activities for the kiddos.
But what I did was try tofind the gaps. How does a woman
get a job if she doesn't havechildcare? So we put child care on
site. And how does she everget out of abuse if she can't afford
civil legal representation, if she can'tafford a lawyer, So we put a
(04:24):
legal clinic on site. Kids whoweren't safe at their old school, we
put a school on site. SoI over the thirty two years that I've
been there, I continue to lookfor what are those gaps? What are
those holes that can mean defeat?And I said that in about thirty seconds.
It's taken thirty years to do.But now what we are is a
full service response, Tommy. Wehave the shelter for those who need that,
(04:46):
but we also have transitional housing forlonger term care. But our biggest
footprint is our non residential facility wherewomen can go who either haven't left the
relationship or they've left and they haveother residential resources, and so we put
our arms around that family for whateverwhatever needs they might have. So it's
(05:08):
grown from a four hundred thousand dollarsbudget to a multimillion dollar budget, and
it's and we continue, we continueto look for those gaps. What are
those next steps? Domestic abuse isa subject that is out there. I
know you're doing a lot for that. Tell us why it's so important to
get this message out and how youknow you can do that. Yeah,
(05:30):
Well, there's so many myths thatsurround domestic violence, right you know that
it only happens to certain people,that it's all her fault, or it's
just for poor people, uneducated people, and those are all myths, Tommy.
The truth is that it happens toone out of every three women you
pass. Now that's one out ofevery three in your grocery store, in
(05:54):
your faith community, in your neighborhood, one out of every three women and
teens will know violence in their ownrelationships. So think about that. Whether
it was a disease or you know, somebody an infection, somebody you know
coming into our country to hurt us, and it hurt every three houses,
(06:15):
we would do something about it.But for some reason, this continues to
be an issue that is not talkedabout a lot that it is. There
are excuses made for it which shouldnot be. There should be no excuse
for abuse. And unless we're talkingabout it, this can't get better.
So you know, again there's somany issues around it with that, it's
(06:39):
so complex. But yet somebody mightsay, well, why doesn't she just
leave it? Then? If it'sso bad, why doesn't she just get
out? And that to me saysyou really don't understand this issue. She
is not the one causing the abuse. The abuse is a choice, and
the abuse will not stop until anabuser stops abusing. So my goal in
getting the word out is to letpeople know there's how and there's hope,
(07:00):
that it's never your fault and Ibelieve you, and so the more we
can do that, not just me, but you. When a man stands
up and says, this is animportant issue. It really can make a
difference. I think we need tobe talking about this to our medical providers,
to our faith leaders. There's somany people who are involved in these
(07:20):
people's lives that say nothing. Andso what we try to do is again
raise that level of awareness and dojust what you're doing. Somebody will watch
this and know there is a numbernine four six two and four it nine
four six help and realize there issomething out there that can that can maybe
make a difference. Tell us we'llcome back this time and time again today
(07:43):
of how people can help you,help me, help help Genesis. Yeah,
help Genesis yah yeah yeah, Andwe'll put your phone on up on
the screen in the website. Buttell us ways that people can get involved
or help. Well the number oneand I never missed a CEO. I
would be a bad CEF. Ididn't say this right off the bat.
But money. We do not receivegovernment funds, and so if you want
(08:05):
to make a year end gift oryou want what if it's five dollars or
five hundred thousand dollars. We feellike if people will invest in this issue,
it means that it's more important tothem. So yes, go to
our website, get involved, makea donation. But there's also so many
other ways. Not everybody can pullout their credit card, but you can
clean out your closet. You canmake in kind donations at our benefit thrift
(08:28):
store, where our moms get toshop at no cost. What we don't
you give away or use. Wecan then sell that to the community and
that money goes directly back into emergencyclient assistance. So that's another way.
Another way is to volunteer, andthere are many opportunities on our website where
you can do everything from a driveat your own home to make birthday boxes
(08:52):
for our kids, to actually comedown and rock the baby. So there
are lots of ways to get involved. We also have auxiliaries. There's one
in particular I wanted to kind ofhighlight right now, and that is our
heroes. He respects others, andit's men gentlemen like you saying, not
only am I not going to doit in my house, but I'm offended
(09:13):
if somebody does it to you andyour house. And we have over two
hundred men who stand up and sayI'll help you put a tricycle together.
I'll be a mentor to a youngboy, but I'm going to let my
name and my community know that Ihave zero tolerance for violence against women.
Our heroes are amazing. It's anauxiliary and lots of waste of volunteerism through
(09:33):
that. Well, that's good toknow. Yeah, it's very good enough.
There's so much going on there.Tell us about some of the other
services you provide. I know youhave some counseling, you have various things
to yes, the broader scope,right, and you know Genesis has come
a long way in the thirty years. We mentioned that it has changed a
(09:54):
lot. And when I first gotthere, Tommy, it would be a
it was we call what we calleda medical model. Somebody would come to
me and say I can't eat,I can't sleep, and I cry all
the time. And we'd give thema pill and say go get a job,
and then come here's another pill.Go get a protective order, and
then here's another pill, get anapartment. And so she could do all
(10:15):
of those things, but still comeback and say I can't eat, I
can't sleep, and I cry allthe time. Well, it's not about
the whether it was a black eyeor a split lip. It's about the
trauma that she has experienced. Sono longer do we say what's wrong with
you with that medical model. Wesay what's happened to you, and we
walk beside her in that process ofhealing. So one of the things that
(10:37):
we do right off the bat isask her what her physical needs are.
We have advocates who say, well, he broke my glasses when he punched
me in the face. We canreplace those glasses. I left my child's
and haler at home when I left, and we can replace that. We
can get her clothes, we canget her help, we can make referrals
for jobs, or get her intoour legal community to where she can actually
(11:01):
have that representation that she needs incourt to ever get away. She's got
to. She needs somebody to walkher through the legal quagmire that she is
facing. Then we also have thecounseling. We have master's level, full
time employed master's level therapists who cantalk about how to process the healing,
(11:24):
how to address the trauma so thatshe can get to a place where she
can sleep and eat and she doesn'tcry all the time anymore. That's for
moms, but also for those kiddos. We have advocates and counselors for kiddos.
But one of the neatest things thatI'm really excited about this I'm excited
about all of it, that oneof the things that we're very, very
proud of is we have in thepast several years recognized the intersection between neurodiversity
(11:48):
and domestic violence. We have somany kiddos who come to the shelter who
are either attention deficit, they haveattention deficit disorder, or they're on the
autism spectrum. I can't even beginto imagine if you've ever been around a
child who struggles with that kind ofdysregulation. When there's a meltdown, man,
it sucks the life out of thewhole family. And so I can't
(12:09):
imagine how many times mom has steppedin front of the child when dad goes
to shut that kid up, tellhim to quit crime like a girl.
So, whether they're autistic or justdisregulated from the trauma, we now have
occupational therapists employed at Genesis Women's Shelterand support both at residential and non residential,
(12:30):
and we find that they can workwith kids who have been nonverbal,
kids who you know can't hold apencil. When I first started looking into
occupational therapy, I thought it waslike, oh, that's just who teaches
my grandmother how to walk after she'shad a stroke. But the truth of
the matter is where there is anykind of disregulation, the fear of living
in that kind of abuse, theseprofessionals can find a place where you can
(12:54):
find a center and find a calmand begin to heal that way. So
I'm very excited about that. Soyou actually are partnering with people like the
Autism Association or you work, weactually have our own occupational therapists. The
problem is with kiddos or anybody,you can't get treatment without a diagnosis.
(13:18):
And for our guys who have comewithout insurance or no money or he's made
sure all the money goes in hisaccount, we can't get them a diagnosis.
It takes about eight to ten monthsto be seen over at Children's Medical
Center. Can't get treatment without thediagnosis, and Medicaid if that's all the
coverage you have won't pay for thetreatment. So most of my kiddos who
have come to Genesis have been undiagnosedand untreated. So now we are doing
(13:41):
this on site and just trying towhat my goal is is to box that
all up. How to do it? What's the equipment, where you get
it, how do you install it? And give it to places like the
family place or Mosaic or the DallasPolice Department, Because I promise you it
makes a difference. That is soenlightening to have you here and deceive you
(14:03):
so much more than of what you'redoing. We'll be right though. I'm
sorry to interrupt you, but peoplethink because of the name Genesis Women's Shelter
that that means to get help youwould have to leave, pack up your
cares and woes and come to ascary place. And that couldn't be farther
from the truth. Again, thereare so many ways to be abuse financially,
be abused financially, spiritually, ofcourse, physically, sexually. And
(14:26):
what we do is take that wholeperson and address all the kinds of abuse
that she has experienced. All right, well, let me take it a
quick break here to recognize one ofour other sponsors that makes all this possible.
When we come back, I knowyou've got some events coming up,
some fun things that people get involvedwith and help out. So We'll talk
about that in a minute, butI want to say thank you to Piranha
(14:48):
Haven. This holiday season. Youcan give the gifts that can be remembered.
Paranha Haven Energy Wellness and Gifts forthe Soul, a wonderful little Spiritual
Gifts shop in downtown Richardson. You'llfind an eclectic collection of imported items from
free trade villages, jewelry, artfrom local artists, and a vast array
(15:11):
of candles, crystal, sage andin Since, you can also give yourself
the gift of wellness. Energy wellnesssessions improve stress and anxiety, reduce physical
pain, and improve the quality ofsleep. A holiday gift certificate from Piranha
Haven will let you give your lovedones choose the perfect gifts for healing sessions
they want. Check out the EnergyHealing Sessions by Rakingmaster Terry Finn at Piranhahaven
(15:37):
dot com. All right, youhave a saying I saw on your website.
Let me get it here. Peaceon Earth begins at home. I
just wanted to get that right.That is on your website, and that's
about the holidays coming up. Tellus about the holidays. Holidays, but
it's also three hundred and sixty fivedays a year. I think if we
(16:00):
would all be better off if westuck to that saying that peace on earth
begins at home. We can't havesafe communities, safe neighborhoods if people aren't
safe in their own homes. Weknow that people who commit crimes within the
home, we are also the peoplewho perpetrate crimes out on the streets.
So I think that's an important thingto be thinking about all year long.
(16:21):
But of course, to your point, we use that phrase a lot.
All of us use that phrase alot during the holidays. We have an
amazing way for people to get involvedduring the holiday season if they are so
interested. We actually adopt out allour families, whether they're non residential or
residential, and they get to makewishless of what they would like for Christmas,
(16:41):
what they need, and what theyreally would wish for. So we
give that information out to the community. If you and your family wanted to
adopt a family at Genesis, Icould say, here's a mom with three
kiddos, and the little girl wantsa pink soccer ball and the boy wants
a whatever, and then you goand shop for that family. It's then
(17:02):
brought to Genesis. We don't letthe families interact with the donors because it's
a very scary time, very secrettime, but we will actually get those
things all bundled up and to thefamilies that had made those wishes. So
it's an easy thing when you're shoppingfor your kiddos or your family members,
(17:22):
you know, take a look ata general drive. Even it doesn't have
to be a specific family, becausewe have families that are going to come
in on Christmas Eve, the daybefore or the two days before Christmas,
and we need to have extra giftsfor them because it's too late to adopt
them out. So there's just away to get involved through that holiday effort.
(17:42):
What are some of the other Avensthings you have throughout the year that
people can involve with. Well,you know, I told you that we
do not receive government funds. Allour funding is private, whether it's a
grant, foundation, individual corporation.But our special events, I'm sorry,
but our special events are very significantin our fundraising efforts. Our largest is
(18:03):
actually happening in the spring on Aprilthe twelfth, and it is a luncheon
right over here at the Anatole hoteland our guest speaker this year is Viola
Davis. Viola Davis, Amazing Actress, Award winning, Just Incredible woman,
released a book last year called FindingMe, and it talks about being that
little girl watching dad hurt mom andbeing hurt by dad, and even though
(18:29):
she's been so successful professionally, there'sstill that little voice of that small child
saying I'm not worthy, I'm notgood enough. I think it's going to
be a fantastic conversation with her,and you can go on our website if
somebody would like to join us forthat special day. The tickets range all
over the place, and so ifyou go to our website you can get
(18:52):
more information about that luncheon. Wealso have another auxiliary Tommy called Genesis Young
Leaders, and it's twenty to thirty, thirty five to forty range. Kiddos,
kiddos, I'm so old. Theyseem like kids to me, but
who want to be involved as well, Men and women who say, you
know, this is my generation comingup and maybe we can stop that,
(19:15):
Maybe we can break that generational cycleof violence. And so they have an
event called Masquerade. It's going tobe a black tie event. They're taking
over the Pero Museum and it willbe an amazing evening of celebrating those who
want to make a difference. Andso that's on our website as well.
Well. We've covered a lot oftopics here, have been very enlightening.
(19:37):
What have we miss? What isthere something you'd like, yeah, people
to know. Yeah, there area couple of things too. And it
sounds like USh, we just haveall kinds of fun, you know,
with this event and that event.But there are a couple of issues that
I'd like to raise. The SupremeCourt about three weeks ago heard a case
called US v. Raheemi. Aguy named Rahimi was charged out of Fort
(19:57):
Worth, was an was an abuser, he heard his wife, He shot
things and people and just was avery dangerous guy, a very dangerous guy.
And so when he went to court, they said, you can't have
your gun. There's federal and statelaw that says an abuser, somebody convicted,
(20:18):
or somebody who's subject of a protectiveorder cannot have a gun, by
a gun, have ammunition, whatever, And they took his gun away.
Well, the Fifth Circuit Court ofAppeals appealed that case and made a decision
that reversed it that which makes nosense to me. Okay, you're a
criminal, here's some more guns foryou. Keep your guns. And we
know that where there is domestic violenceand firearms in the home, it ratchets
(20:42):
up the lethality just tremendously. Andso we are trying to keep abusers from
having firearms so readily available. Right. So, anyway, about three weeks
ago, the Supreme Court actually heardthat case, and in their decisions are
things double crossed our toeser cross thatthey will be enlightened enough to recognize the
(21:04):
danger that they're putting American citizens inby that decision made by the Fifth Circuit.
They will announce their probably June,they'll announce that decision. But Us
v. Rahimi should never have beenappealed in my opinion. Oh and people
all the time are saying, well, what do you say to people who
say, you're just trying to takeaway our guns? Very easy answer,
(21:25):
very easy answer. Don't beat yourwife, keep your guns if you want,
don't beat your wife, and youwon't have a problem with somebody trying
to take it away. Right.But I can't seem to get that across
as much as i'd like to,but anyway, that's coming up. And
then on January the first of twentyfour, right around the corner, the
governor has signed a House Bill fiftytwo to two, which is going to
(21:45):
strengthen law enforcement's ability to track downserial rapists where there has been a sexual
assault. A lot of times predatorswill rape in all different parts of the
state. This one in particular thatkind of kicked up this particular legislative effort.
(22:06):
The guy assaulted a woman in SouthPoday Island on spring break, and
then he went to Tyler, andthen he went to Richardson and by the
time he got to Fort Worth,now he had he not only raped her,
but he killed her as well.And so one county didn't know what
the other one was doing. Andso now we know that there'll be a
database where law enforcement can go inand I think nonsworn people like I could
(22:30):
go in before I know, letmy daughter go out with some guy,
uh and check him out. Andso that's a big step forward and that
goes into effect January first. Sothose are the kinds of things too that
where people can get involved, becauseit's not just hey, donate your gently
use clothing, but it's called yourlegislative officials and say how do you stand
on this issue? Why did youvote no against that? And I think
(22:52):
we all not only have the opportunity, we have the obligation to do that.
I thank You're exactly correct, andI'm glad to see some progress in
Those are little steps, little steps, but I'm gonna I'm just gonna keep
picking away at it. Tell usone more time how people can get in
touch with you, how they canhelp. Yes, So, our website
is great Genesis shelter dot org wwwGenesis shelter dot org. And our helpline,
(23:18):
which has answered twenty four hours aday English and in Spanish, is
two one four nine four six Help. That also can be a text line.
We have launched that maybe maybe ayear and a half ago, maybe
a year and a half ago,and we find that more people might more
people are texting and saying things like, oh my gosh, he's in the
shower, I don't have time totalk, but I need help. So
(23:41):
it's a way that they can stillreach out get help without having to be
heard on the phone or have somebodyreverse call that or track their caller ID
and all of that stuff. Soanyway, but it's a simple call two
one four nine four six help.I think another way to help and be
involved is if you see something,say something you know I'll be in.
(24:04):
I was in the airport not longago, and I saw this guy just
verbally abusing his wife just even late. Get your stuff over here. I'm
sick of having to wait on you, and oh I just kind of break
out in a call sweat. AndI won't go up to him while he's
doing that, because she'll pay theprice for that. Right somehow, it's
her fault. Instead of him actinglike a can you say jackass? On
(24:27):
a podcastcast regular, he's acted likea jackass. He needs a total creep
And so I didn't want it tomake it worse for her, but I
thought, oh boy, if shewalks away and goes to the ladies room,
I'm going to be right behind her. And she did. I walked
up to her and said, Idon't know if you need this, but
(24:48):
here's the National Domestic Violence Hotline onthis card. You know. She gave
me a really funny look and waslike, who do you think you are?
But she didn't throw it away.It doesn't matter about me, but
somebody, somebody's saw that what washappening was wrong, and it needs to
be safe for the person handing themthe card. You know, I wouldn't
walk up or walk into a housewhere there is abuse. But there are
(25:11):
ways that we can let people knowthat there's help and there's hope. So
we can all be involved. Wejust have to be aware well, very
good, and I hope we canbe of help in getting the word out.
I know we have quite a fewlisteners and viewers, so we'll share
the word as well. So Iwant to thank Parana Haven for being one
of our sponsors, and for NiagaraConservation for supporting us over all this past
(25:34):
year, and we look forward tocontinuing into the next year. So thank
you so much for joining. Ohmy gosh, I love being here.
You make it offully easy, sothank you. Thank you for joining us.
Of course,
Welcome to Advocacy and Motion. I'myour host Tommy Finn, and we're here
every week to give a vision anda voice to nonprofit organizations and individuals making
a difference in our community. BeforeI introduced my guest today, I want
to say thank you to our presentingsponsor, Niagara Conservation. Niagra has been
the leading manufacturer and distributor of watersaving, cost saving plumbing products, and
(00:34):
here's my partner Trisia Milwaukee to tellyou all about these new products. Thanks
Tommy, and thanks Niagara for yourcontinuing support of nonprofit organizations. If you
want to get the ultimate experience andcleanliness and comfort without breaking the bank,
and transform your bathrooms with Niagara fromtoilets to today's Niagara has the perfect solution
(00:55):
for any bathroom project. Niagara's awardwinning products not only outperformed competitors, but
they also out design them. Thanksto innovations like stealth technology, Niagris products
can use half as much water asthe competitors, providing you with a solution
that will help with the environment andsave you money. Shop now on Amazon
or at home depot dot com.Well welcome. My guest today is jan
(01:19):
Langbin. She is the CEO ofGenesis Women's Shelter here in Dallas. Thank
you for joining us, Thank youfor having us. I appreciate it.
I know that on your website saidyour services are designed to help women and
children affected by domestic abuse in ourcommunity and find a safe way to create
abuse free lives they deserve. Isthat your mission statement is that almost That
(01:42):
sums up about half of it.We are there to provide safety, shelter,
counseling, information, advocacy, legalservices. But the other half of
that mission statement is to work toraise the level of awareness about violence against
women, the effects of it,and the solutions. So half of it
is what we do every day.Then the other half is doing things just
(02:05):
like this to where we can talkto people and let listeners or friends or
neighbors know that there is help andthere is hope. That is wonderful.
It's a great thing. Now,how did you get involved? Oh my
gosh, So I've been CEO forthirty two years. Seriously, when I
hear myself say it, that soundsso strange. But I started as a
volunteer. I was the Tuesday Morningvolunteer. I'm a member of the Junior
(02:29):
League of Dallas, which actually placesvolunteers in nonprofit organizations throughout the city.
And I was the Tuesday morning volunteerand I'd answer the helpline and i'd rock
babies and i'd make kool aid forwhen the kids got out of school.
And it touched my heart. I'mnot from abuse, and I guess I
am. I was shocked that somebodywould beat somebody because dinner was late,
(02:53):
or someone would hurt a child ina way that a touch that can never
be untouched. I was just outraged, actually, and that anger was very
motivational to me. And I endedup on the board of directors for Genesis
and one day they came and said, we need new leadership. She needs
(03:14):
to be able to work the crowdand raise money. And out of my
mouth shoots, oh my gosh,I think that's me. So I was.
I can't believe they hired me.I was a stay at home mom.
I had never hired or fired orreally read a financial statement. But
that wasn't the point of it was. I felt led to do what I
can with what I had, whateverthat is. And I think that's the
(03:34):
goal of today is for your listenersand your viewers just doing what they can
with what they have, and Ipromise you it will make a difference in
somebody else's life. That is thatis terrific. Now you said you've been
their number of years, how's genhas grown over those course? What have
you seen most impactful? Well?Yes, as I mentioned, I had
never led an organization, nonprofit orotherwise. But the way I when I
(04:00):
first got there, it was aseven bedroom shelter, just overnight care,
basically, very few programs, maybesome after school activities for the kiddos.
But what I did was try tofind the gaps. How does a woman
get a job if she doesn't havechildcare? So we put child care on
site. And how does she everget out of abuse if she can't afford
civil legal representation, if she can'tafford a lawyer, So we put a
(04:24):
legal clinic on site. Kids whoweren't safe at their old school, we
put a school on site. SoI over the thirty two years that I've
been there, I continue to lookfor what are those gaps? What are
those holes that can mean defeat?And I said that in about thirty seconds.
It's taken thirty years to do.But now what we are is a
full service response, Tommy. Wehave the shelter for those who need that,
(04:46):
but we also have transitional housing forlonger term care. But our biggest
footprint is our non residential facility wherewomen can go who either haven't left the
relationship or they've left and they haveother residential resources, and so we put
our arms around that family for whateverwhatever needs they might have. So it's
(05:08):
grown from a four hundred thousand dollarsbudget to a multimillion dollar budget, and
it's and we continue, we continueto look for those gaps. What are
those next steps? Domestic abuse isa subject that is out there. I
know you're doing a lot for that. Tell us why it's so important to
get this message out and how youknow you can do that. Yeah,
(05:30):
Well, there's so many myths thatsurround domestic violence, right you know that
it only happens to certain people,that it's all her fault, or it's
just for poor people, uneducated people, and those are all myths, Tommy.
The truth is that it happens toone out of every three women you
pass. Now that's one out ofevery three in your grocery store, in
(05:54):
your faith community, in your neighborhood, one out of every three women and
teens will know violence in their ownrelationships. So think about that. Whether
it was a disease or you know, somebody an infection, somebody you know
coming into our country to hurt us, and it hurt every three houses,
(06:15):
we would do something about it.But for some reason, this continues to
be an issue that is not talkedabout a lot that it is. There
are excuses made for it which shouldnot be. There should be no excuse
for abuse. And unless we're talkingabout it, this can't get better.
So you know, again there's somany issues around it with that, it's
(06:39):
so complex. But yet somebody mightsay, well, why doesn't she just
leave it? Then? If it'sso bad, why doesn't she just get
out? And that to me saysyou really don't understand this issue. She
is not the one causing the abuse. The abuse is a choice, and
the abuse will not stop until anabuser stops abusing. So my goal in
getting the word out is to letpeople know there's how and there's hope,
(07:00):
that it's never your fault and Ibelieve you, and so the more we
can do that, not just me, but you. When a man stands
up and says, this is animportant issue. It really can make a
difference. I think we need tobe talking about this to our medical providers,
to our faith leaders. There's somany people who are involved in these
(07:20):
people's lives that say nothing. Andso what we try to do is again
raise that level of awareness and dojust what you're doing. Somebody will watch
this and know there is a numbernine four six two and four it nine
four six help and realize there issomething out there that can that can maybe
make a difference. Tell us we'llcome back this time and time again today
(07:43):
of how people can help you,help me, help help Genesis. Yeah,
help Genesis yah yeah yeah, Andwe'll put your phone on up on
the screen in the website. Buttell us ways that people can get involved
or help. Well the number oneand I never missed a CEO. I
would be a bad CEF. Ididn't say this right off the bat.
But money. We do not receivegovernment funds, and so if you want
(08:05):
to make a year end gift oryou want what if it's five dollars or
five hundred thousand dollars. We feellike if people will invest in this issue,
it means that it's more important tothem. So yes, go to
our website, get involved, makea donation. But there's also so many
other ways. Not everybody can pullout their credit card, but you can
clean out your closet. You canmake in kind donations at our benefit thrift
(08:28):
store, where our moms get toshop at no cost. What we don't
you give away or use. Wecan then sell that to the community and
that money goes directly back into emergencyclient assistance. So that's another way.
Another way is to volunteer, andthere are many opportunities on our website where
you can do everything from a driveat your own home to make birthday boxes
(08:52):
for our kids, to actually comedown and rock the baby. So there
are lots of ways to get involved. We also have auxiliaries. There's one
in particular I wanted to kind ofhighlight right now, and that is our
heroes. He respects others, andit's men gentlemen like you saying, not
only am I not going to doit in my house, but I'm offended
(09:13):
if somebody does it to you andyour house. And we have over two
hundred men who stand up and sayI'll help you put a tricycle together.
I'll be a mentor to a youngboy, but I'm going to let my
name and my community know that Ihave zero tolerance for violence against women.
Our heroes are amazing. It's anauxiliary and lots of waste of volunteerism through
(09:33):
that. Well, that's good toknow. Yeah, it's very good enough.
There's so much going on there.Tell us about some of the other
services you provide. I know youhave some counseling, you have various things
to yes, the broader scope,right, and you know Genesis has come
a long way in the thirty years. We mentioned that it has changed a
(09:54):
lot. And when I first gotthere, Tommy, it would be a
it was we call what we calleda medical model. Somebody would come to
me and say I can't eat,I can't sleep, and I cry all
the time. And we'd give thema pill and say go get a job,
and then come here's another pill.Go get a protective order, and
then here's another pill, get anapartment. And so she could do all
(10:15):
of those things, but still comeback and say I can't eat, I
can't sleep, and I cry allthe time. Well, it's not about
the whether it was a black eyeor a split lip. It's about the
trauma that she has experienced. Sono longer do we say what's wrong with
you with that medical model. Wesay what's happened to you, and we
walk beside her in that process ofhealing. So one of the things that
(10:37):
we do right off the bat isask her what her physical needs are.
We have advocates who say, well, he broke my glasses when he punched
me in the face. We canreplace those glasses. I left my child's
and haler at home when I left, and we can replace that. We
can get her clothes, we canget her help, we can make referrals
for jobs, or get her intoour legal community to where she can actually
(11:01):
have that representation that she needs incourt to ever get away. She's got
to. She needs somebody to walkher through the legal quagmire that she is
facing. Then we also have thecounseling. We have master's level, full
time employed master's level therapists who cantalk about how to process the healing,
(11:24):
how to address the trauma so thatshe can get to a place where she
can sleep and eat and she doesn'tcry all the time anymore. That's for
moms, but also for those kiddos. We have advocates and counselors for kiddos.
But one of the neatest things thatI'm really excited about this I'm excited
about all of it, that oneof the things that we're very, very
proud of is we have in thepast several years recognized the intersection between neurodiversity
(11:48):
and domestic violence. We have somany kiddos who come to the shelter who
are either attention deficit, they haveattention deficit disorder, or they're on the
autism spectrum. I can't even beginto imagine if you've ever been around a
child who struggles with that kind ofdysregulation. When there's a meltdown, man,
it sucks the life out of thewhole family. And so I can't
(12:09):
imagine how many times mom has steppedin front of the child when dad goes
to shut that kid up, tellhim to quit crime like a girl.
So, whether they're autistic or justdisregulated from the trauma, we now have
occupational therapists employed at Genesis Women's Shelterand support both at residential and non residential,
(12:30):
and we find that they can workwith kids who have been nonverbal,
kids who you know can't hold apencil. When I first started looking into
occupational therapy, I thought it waslike, oh, that's just who teaches
my grandmother how to walk after she'shad a stroke. But the truth of
the matter is where there is anykind of disregulation, the fear of living
in that kind of abuse, theseprofessionals can find a place where you can
(12:54):
find a center and find a calmand begin to heal that way. So
I'm very excited about that. Soyou actually are partnering with people like the
Autism Association or you work, weactually have our own occupational therapists. The
problem is with kiddos or anybody,you can't get treatment without a diagnosis.
(13:18):
And for our guys who have comewithout insurance or no money or he's made
sure all the money goes in hisaccount, we can't get them a diagnosis.
It takes about eight to ten monthsto be seen over at Children's Medical
Center. Can't get treatment without thediagnosis, and Medicaid if that's all the
coverage you have won't pay for thetreatment. So most of my kiddos who
have come to Genesis have been undiagnosedand untreated. So now we are doing
(13:41):
this on site and just trying towhat my goal is is to box that
all up. How to do it? What's the equipment, where you get
it, how do you install it? And give it to places like the
family place or Mosaic or the DallasPolice Department, Because I promise you it
makes a difference. That is soenlightening to have you here and deceive you
(14:03):
so much more than of what you'redoing. We'll be right though. I'm
sorry to interrupt you, but peoplethink because of the name Genesis Women's Shelter
that that means to get help youwould have to leave, pack up your
cares and woes and come to ascary place. And that couldn't be farther
from the truth. Again, thereare so many ways to be abuse financially,
be abused financially, spiritually, ofcourse, physically, sexually. And
(14:26):
what we do is take that wholeperson and address all the kinds of abuse
that she has experienced. All right, well, let me take it a
quick break here to recognize one ofour other sponsors that makes all this possible.
When we come back, I knowyou've got some events coming up,
some fun things that people get involvedwith and help out. So We'll talk
about that in a minute, butI want to say thank you to Piranha
(14:48):
Haven. This holiday season. Youcan give the gifts that can be remembered.
Paranha Haven Energy Wellness and Gifts forthe Soul, a wonderful little Spiritual
Gifts shop in downtown Richardson. You'llfind an eclectic collection of imported items from
free trade villages, jewelry, artfrom local artists, and a vast array
(15:11):
of candles, crystal, sage andin Since, you can also give yourself
the gift of wellness. Energy wellnesssessions improve stress and anxiety, reduce physical
pain, and improve the quality ofsleep. A holiday gift certificate from Piranha
Haven will let you give your lovedones choose the perfect gifts for healing sessions
they want. Check out the EnergyHealing Sessions by Rakingmaster Terry Finn at Piranhahaven
(15:37):
dot com. All right, youhave a saying I saw on your website.
Let me get it here. Peaceon Earth begins at home. I
just wanted to get that right.That is on your website, and that's
about the holidays coming up. Tellus about the holidays. Holidays, but
it's also three hundred and sixty fivedays a year. I think if we
(16:00):
would all be better off if westuck to that saying that peace on earth
begins at home. We can't havesafe communities, safe neighborhoods if people aren't
safe in their own homes. Weknow that people who commit crimes within the
home, we are also the peoplewho perpetrate crimes out on the streets.
So I think that's an important thingto be thinking about all year long.
(16:21):
But of course, to your point, we use that phrase a lot.
All of us use that phrase alot during the holidays. We have an
amazing way for people to get involvedduring the holiday season if they are so
interested. We actually adopt out allour families, whether they're non residential or
residential, and they get to makewishless of what they would like for Christmas,
(16:41):
what they need, and what theyreally would wish for. So we
give that information out to the community. If you and your family wanted to
adopt a family at Genesis, Icould say, here's a mom with three
kiddos, and the little girl wantsa pink soccer ball and the boy wants
a whatever, and then you goand shop for that family. It's then
(17:02):
brought to Genesis. We don't letthe families interact with the donors because it's
a very scary time, very secrettime, but we will actually get those
things all bundled up and to thefamilies that had made those wishes. So
it's an easy thing when you're shoppingfor your kiddos or your family members,
(17:22):
you know, take a look ata general drive. Even it doesn't have
to be a specific family, becausewe have families that are going to come
in on Christmas Eve, the daybefore or the two days before Christmas,
and we need to have extra giftsfor them because it's too late to adopt
them out. So there's just away to get involved through that holiday effort.
(17:42):
What are some of the other Avensthings you have throughout the year that
people can involve with. Well,you know, I told you that we
do not receive government funds. Allour funding is private, whether it's a
grant, foundation, individual corporation.But our special events, I'm sorry,
but our special events are very significantin our fundraising efforts. Our largest is
(18:03):
actually happening in the spring on Aprilthe twelfth, and it is a luncheon
right over here at the Anatole hoteland our guest speaker this year is Viola
Davis. Viola Davis, Amazing Actress, Award winning, Just Incredible woman,
released a book last year called FindingMe, and it talks about being that
little girl watching dad hurt mom andbeing hurt by dad, and even though
(18:29):
she's been so successful professionally, there'sstill that little voice of that small child
saying I'm not worthy, I'm notgood enough. I think it's going to
be a fantastic conversation with her,and you can go on our website if
somebody would like to join us forthat special day. The tickets range all
over the place, and so ifyou go to our website you can get
(18:52):
more information about that luncheon. Wealso have another auxiliary Tommy called Genesis Young
Leaders, and it's twenty to thirty, thirty five to forty range. Kiddos,
kiddos, I'm so old. Theyseem like kids to me, but
who want to be involved as well, Men and women who say, you
know, this is my generation comingup and maybe we can stop that,
(19:15):
Maybe we can break that generational cycleof violence. And so they have an
event called Masquerade. It's going tobe a black tie event. They're taking
over the Pero Museum and it willbe an amazing evening of celebrating those who
want to make a difference. Andso that's on our website as well.
Well. We've covered a lot oftopics here, have been very enlightening.
(19:37):
What have we miss? What isthere something you'd like, yeah, people
to know. Yeah, there area couple of things too. And it
sounds like USh, we just haveall kinds of fun, you know,
with this event and that event.But there are a couple of issues that
I'd like to raise. The SupremeCourt about three weeks ago heard a case
called US v. Raheemi. Aguy named Rahimi was charged out of Fort
(19:57):
Worth, was an was an abuser, he heard his wife, He shot
things and people and just was avery dangerous guy, a very dangerous guy.
And so when he went to court, they said, you can't have
your gun. There's federal and statelaw that says an abuser, somebody convicted,
(20:18):
or somebody who's subject of a protectiveorder cannot have a gun, by
a gun, have ammunition, whatever, And they took his gun away.
Well, the Fifth Circuit Court ofAppeals appealed that case and made a decision
that reversed it that which makes nosense to me. Okay, you're a
criminal, here's some more guns foryou. Keep your guns. And we
know that where there is domestic violenceand firearms in the home, it ratchets
(20:42):
up the lethality just tremendously. Andso we are trying to keep abusers from
having firearms so readily available. Right. So, anyway, about three weeks
ago, the Supreme Court actually heardthat case, and in their decisions are
things double crossed our toeser cross thatthey will be enlightened enough to recognize the
(21:04):
danger that they're putting American citizens inby that decision made by the Fifth Circuit.
They will announce their probably June,they'll announce that decision. But Us
v. Rahimi should never have beenappealed in my opinion. Oh and people
all the time are saying, well, what do you say to people who
say, you're just trying to takeaway our guns? Very easy answer,
(21:25):
very easy answer. Don't beat yourwife, keep your guns if you want,
don't beat your wife, and youwon't have a problem with somebody trying
to take it away. Right.But I can't seem to get that across
as much as i'd like to,but anyway, that's coming up. And
then on January the first of twentyfour, right around the corner, the
governor has signed a House Bill fiftytwo to two, which is going to
(21:45):
strengthen law enforcement's ability to track downserial rapists where there has been a sexual
assault. A lot of times predatorswill rape in all different parts of the
state. This one in particular thatkind of kicked up this particular legislative effort.
(22:06):
The guy assaulted a woman in SouthPoday Island on spring break, and
then he went to Tyler, andthen he went to Richardson and by the
time he got to Fort Worth,now he had he not only raped her,
but he killed her as well.And so one county didn't know what
the other one was doing. Andso now we know that there'll be a
database where law enforcement can go inand I think nonsworn people like I could
(22:30):
go in before I know, letmy daughter go out with some guy,
uh and check him out. Andso that's a big step forward and that
goes into effect January first. Sothose are the kinds of things too that
where people can get involved, becauseit's not just hey, donate your gently
use clothing, but it's called yourlegislative officials and say how do you stand
on this issue? Why did youvote no against that? And I think
(22:52):
we all not only have the opportunity, we have the obligation to do that.
I thank You're exactly correct, andI'm glad to see some progress in
Those are little steps, little steps, but I'm gonna I'm just gonna keep
picking away at it. Tell usone more time how people can get in
touch with you, how they canhelp. Yes, So, our website
is great Genesis shelter dot org wwwGenesis shelter dot org. And our helpline,
(23:18):
which has answered twenty four hours aday English and in Spanish, is
two one four nine four six Help. That also can be a text line.
We have launched that maybe maybe ayear and a half ago, maybe
a year and a half ago,and we find that more people might more
people are texting and saying things like, oh my gosh, he's in the
shower, I don't have time totalk, but I need help. So
(23:41):
it's a way that they can stillreach out get help without having to be
heard on the phone or have somebodyreverse call that or track their caller ID
and all of that stuff. Soanyway, but it's a simple call two
one four nine four six help.I think another way to help and be
involved is if you see something,say something you know I'll be in.
(24:04):
I was in the airport not longago, and I saw this guy just
verbally abusing his wife just even late. Get your stuff over here. I'm
sick of having to wait on you, and oh I just kind of break
out in a call sweat. AndI won't go up to him while he's
doing that, because she'll pay theprice for that. Right somehow, it's
her fault. Instead of him actinglike a can you say jackass? On
(24:27):
a podcastcast regular, he's acted likea jackass. He needs a total creep
And so I didn't want it tomake it worse for her, but I
thought, oh boy, if shewalks away and goes to the ladies room,
I'm going to be right behind her. And she did. I walked
up to her and said, Idon't know if you need this, but
(24:48):
here's the National Domestic Violence Hotline onthis card. You know. She gave
me a really funny look and waslike, who do you think you are?
But she didn't throw it away.It doesn't matter about me, but
somebody, somebody's saw that what washappening was wrong, and it needs to
be safe for the person handing themthe card. You know, I wouldn't
walk up or walk into a housewhere there is abuse. But there are
(25:11):
ways that we can let people knowthat there's help and there's hope. So
we can all be involved. Wejust have to be aware well, very
good, and I hope we canbe of help in getting the word out.
I know we have quite a fewlisteners and viewers, so we'll share
the word as well. So Iwant to thank Parana Haven for being one
of our sponsors, and for NiagaraConservation for supporting us over all this past
(25:34):
year, and we look forward tocontinuing into the next year. So thank
you so much for joining. Ohmy gosh, I love being here.
You make it offully easy, sothank you. Thank you for joining us.
Of course,
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