Episode 18- The reason why marriage should be 50-50.

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Hello, Hello, everybody, Welcome to my channel. I am coach LJ.
Thank you guys for joining me for this episode. If
you guys like the commentary, please let the light subscribe
and notification button to receive notifications of my videos. I
am a certified recovery life coach alba he k hold on, Sorry, y'all,

(02:11):
some reason when Instagram, I was testing on Instagram and
now I see that there's a certain way I have
to do Instagram. I'm sorry, y'all. I'm trying to learn
cause now you can add er Instagram to Streamyard now,
so now I'm trying to figure out how that actually works. Hey, y'all,
So now I know that when it comes to these two,

(02:33):
I have to do them simultaneously at the same time.
I'm eventually gonna to understand Instagram eventually, so eventually I
will be doing my content on Instagram. But I was
just testing it to see how it works. So I
apologize for all for that. So we just found out
that stream Yard can be on Instagram, So y'all, I'm sorry.

(02:57):
I have had jet leg So I am in my
bed right now because I had to run from twenty
one minutes from going from Fairville, North Carolina, to see
my family up until all the way through Charlotte. So y'all,
I had to go all the way through Charlotte twenty

(03:19):
one minutes to get to the other side. So, first
of all, before I get to that, welcome to my channel.
I'm coach LJ. I appreciate y'all for joining me. Please,
like I said, don't forget to hit the licenssecribing notification button.
Please forget the technical difficulties. And so this is what
happened when I was on my way home, before I
get into this topic of fifty to fifty marriage, I

(03:42):
was getting for number one. We left late, we left
the plane late. I got there early, got there an
hour early, sat there, waited for the waiting for the plane,
got on the plane, and then when I got on
the plane, what ended up happening was we ended up

(04:03):
happening to get our bags put into the bottom of
the plane because the smaller carry ons we couldn't carry
on the plane because they weren't what's the name, they
weren't exactly, they wouldn't fit. So when we and the

(04:24):
flight was kind of rough, it was kind of a
smaller airplane, so we had to end up going and flying.
It was very uncomfortable. I had to wear a neck
brace around my neck, one of those net massages, put
that on my neck. Then I couldn't get on the
internet on the plane for some reason, it wouldn't work.

(04:47):
So I had to listen to music, and I was good,
and I had my really cute little I mean cat headphones,
and so I was like, well, okay, I'm going to
put these on and listen use it the whole time.
But then on the second flight, well, I'm gonna get
to that minute. So when we get off the first plane,
we have to wait for our luggage. We get matter

(05:08):
of fact, we took off late, took off of late,
which was bad. So being that we took off of late,
we ended up not getting there until at three o'clock. No,
not at three o'clock, at two, and we had to
be boarded by two twenty five. And my other flight
left at three. So I'm like getting off a plane,

(05:32):
grabbing bags and getting ready to go and go and
find my flight. And Charlotte is a very big airport.
Twenty one minute walk, y'all. When I tell you, my
legs were hurting the whole time. My hip was hurting

(05:53):
because I have authritis through my whole entire body. So
imagine having authritis through your whole entire body and you
have to work. You have to basically go twenty one minute,
twenty one minutes to the airport. It sucks. It absolutely
be on a shadow of a doubt sucks. And I
had to keep stopping because my hip was hurting, and

(06:16):
it was to the point that it was this tightness
in my leg. Man, I was hurting and I had
to stop a couple times, and I'm like, am I
going to make it to this guy for second other
side of the guy for second flight? I'm like, I'm
gonna get there. I had to keep telling myself, I'm
gonna get there. I'm gonna get there. I'm gonna get there.
I'm gonna get there. But I got there. So it

(06:40):
was not an easy flight, but I did get there.
I Louis, and as y'all can see, I'm in my room.
So the reason I'm not in my living room, the
reason why I am not uh perfect today is because
I have jet leg. But I wanted to do this
particular video because I was listening to Arci Blake on

(07:07):
an interview, and they were talking about fifty to fifty
and how you know fifty fifty is not the way
to go. That a man should be paying all the
bills and a woman should taking care of the you know,
the kids. But I do agree with some of the
things that he did say, and some of the things
I didn't agree. Now, the reason I wanted to do

(07:30):
this particular video is because it should be fifty fifty.
And I'm gonna explain why it should be fifty fifty.
Number one, a man and a female should know each
other's jobs anyway. A woman should know how to call
and get stuff fixed and need to be fixed if

(07:51):
she can't do herself, and a man should be able
to change diapers and be able to take care of
the babies and all this other stuff. It's important why
because something may happen where you may have to Let's say,
for example, she has cancer. Let's just say she's sick
and she can't take care of the of the kids.
I remember when I had my son and I was

(08:16):
pretty much taking care of him by myself, and my
son's father was ripping and running and doing god knows
what he was doing anyway, mind y'all. My son's father's
a better man than he was back then. I'll just
say that. So while he was young, and I was
twenty two, and he was twenty when we had our son,
so he was very young at the time. So I

(08:36):
was getting up with a baby. I was watching the baby.
I was taking care of the baby. That's what I
was doing. It was primarily me, and so one day
I got really sick and passed out. Had to go
to the emergency room because my son had a heart murmur,
and so we couldn't put him in the crib. I

(08:58):
had to put him on my chest. That was the
only way that he would sleep. So I didn't get
any sleep because I was worried about, you know, him
having sids or him not being inle to breathe, because
when he came into the world, the umbilical cord was
around his neck and he was breached. So I was
really worried and concerned about that, so I decided to

(09:20):
keep him on my chest. Then now his heart murmurs better,
so he doesn't have these issues, and now he's twenty seven,
so he's fine. But just the fact that I had
to stay up it was to the point, my son's
father would not stay. It was shopping nothing, he just
wouldn't do it. So at the end of the day
I ended up passing out. And I tried to go

(09:42):
back to work right after I had my son, when
I was living with my mom, and that just was
no way. I was exhausted, I was tired. So it
isn't easy after having a baby at six weeks going
back to work, and I don't recommend it. I don't
recommend any woman going back to work after six weeks.
I just don't recommend it. But if the father of

(10:03):
your child is there, he should be able to help
as far as you know, getting up with a baby
and making sure the baby is good, especially on his
day off. I don't see nothing wrong with a man
helping taking care of a baby while a woman is sleep,
as he should. It should not just be all on

(10:23):
a woman about taking care of kids. No, it's both
of y'all's responsibility to take care of these kids. It
is both of your responsibility to raise these kids. It
is not just on her, it's on you. And let
me explain where the issue is. Let's just say, for example,
that the father of the child wants to do something

(10:45):
you might disagree with as a woman, and you're like, no,
you don't want your child to play sports. He wants
his son to play sports. Do you see what I mean?
This is why for you have kids, you need to
have these conversations on how y'all gonna raise these kids. Now,
For when they're little, when the little little, it should
be on mom. But when these kids start walking, it's

(11:05):
on dead. It should be dad that should be the
one teaching his daughter about the game and about the
boys that she gonna be dealing with, and mom should
be the one telling him about the women that he's
gonna be dealing with. So at the end of the day,
it is both of y'all responsibility to take care of
these kids, just like it's both of y'all responsibility to

(11:28):
go to work. So let me break that down. All
of this. A man does everything. No, I will never
allow a man to do everything. No, we're fifty fifty
on everything, decisions and all. There is no I'm over him,
he's over me. We are in this together because we
are a team. There is no iron team. Team is
fifty to fifty. And that's why a lot of basketball

(11:50):
players don't win championships. That's why Kobe Bryant was never
able to beat Michael Jordan's record. That's why Lebron James
is not gonna be Michael Jordan's record as far as
the most championships besides the Lakers and the Celtics, because
there is no I in team. You're doing this together,

(12:12):
so there is no A woman just stays home now
the first three years of the child's life. I understand
why she should because of the fact of bonding with
the child, But at the end of the day, I
don't think any woman should have a baby until she's thirty.
Thirty should be when her first born, it should not

(12:32):
be when she's younger. I feel women should not have
sex until marriage. I feel like women should not base
men on financial gain. I think women should base the
man on who he is as a man. A man
should be someone that wants to elevate himself to where
he wants to be. Because I'm gonna break some down
that a lot of y'all don't know. You are basing

(12:54):
it on if you have money. In other words, you're
basing it on if you're rich. That doesn't work if
you work forty one thousand dollars a year. It is
gonna be fifty to fifty. You're not living in the
real world. Because when you have a man that has money,
he does not want a woman that does not have
her own business, that does not have her own brand.

(13:15):
He does not want hu just sitting around not doing nothing.
He don't. Now, there are some men based upon culture
that don't want a woman to work. But if you
have any idea of what's required of this woman, let
me break down Dubai for you. Dubai as a woman.
Most of those women are models. Most of them women

(13:37):
have businesses. They are not just sitting around not doing nothing.
They have their own businesses. They preferly have their own businesses.
But they will spend money on their wives because they
feel like their money is theirs and whatever they do
with their money is theirs. But he's the one that
when they go out, he's the one that pays that worked.

(14:02):
So let me explain why fifty to fifty is so important.
Because both of y'all gonna have stuff y'all gonna want
to do. And if only one person is working and
you only make forty one thousand dollars a year, ain't
no buying. No Jordan's ain't nobody buying those. The Lettle Hills,
ain't no buying knows the Fasauci, no Gucci, no nothing.

(14:22):
You making just enough money just to get by. One
of y'all got to step up. And it's not always
gonna be the man. Because there are some women that
are very good with finance. There are women that know
how to be boss and know how to get out
there and get it. There are women that know how
they know how to go out there and be customer
service and know how to sell. So not every man

(14:42):
is meant to be a boss. Not every man's on
that level. Now, let's talk about drug dealers and gangsters
and thugs and jack boys and all this other stuff
in the black community and with every community, to be honest,
but black people in particular. Yes, these dudes got money,
but guess what they all are doing out there messing
around with other women. So the reason why a woman

(15:04):
should never say I'm not gonna work, because if that
man come to you eleven years like and waiting to
exhale and say I'm leaving you for a white woman,
what are you gonna do? You have not worked in
eleven years, maybe longer than that. You've never worked a
day in your life. And when you go to court,

(15:26):
this man gonna like shit, didn't work. So why am
I giving them money? Y'all not thinking about that part
of it. So when these men say I won't now,
I came into this paying bills. Were doing this fifty
fifty because if there is stuff I want to do,
I have my own money to do it. You have

(15:46):
your own money, So we have a joint account that
goes towards the bills. But whatever money I have, I
can do what I want to. Whatever money you have,
you can do what you want to. That is the
reason why you have fifty to fifty because you don't
make enough to where it just could be one person.
In the society of today, it takes two. So both

(16:07):
of y'all got to go to work. But here's the
kicker of it. Off, she can work from home. Who
said a woman had to work out and the out. No,
Nowadays there are jobs where women can work from home.
There are jobs where women can start their own businesses,
so you don't have to necessarily work in the office.

(16:30):
Because that's what Tabitha Brown did. Her husband was a
cop and when her career took off, she said, I'm
retiring you his ten thousand dollars of how much you
gave him, and you can do whatever it is you
want to do. There's nothing wrong with a woman retiring
her husband, because sometimes it might be a woman that's

(16:56):
gonna be the one that started off. Not every man
wants to be it wants to be a businessman, and
not every man is good at Not every man is
good at being head of household, because if you got
to sit up here and be controlling and it comes
down to domestic violence, then you are not ahead of household.
If it comes down to I can't wear what I

(17:19):
want to wear because you're worried about who's trying to
holler at me. First of all, I'm a grown woman.
I know who my husband is. I don't dress to
impress other people when I go out unless I'm at
an event or unless I am with him. I don't
wear certain outfits unless I'm with the man i'm in

(17:40):
a relationship with. You won't see me dressing sexy unless
I'm with him. Why, because that's just a respect thing
for me. Now, if a girl go out with her friends,
y'all gotta understand people got minds of their own, and
whether they're in front of your face or behind your back,
they're still gonna do what they want to do. And

(18:04):
a good example of this, I'm gonna see if I
can pull it up. It was on Tiktop. I'm gonna
let you hear it. I'm not gonna short, I'm let
you hear it. But it was one from Conchie Wayne,
and I'm gonna let y'all hear this conversation between two women,

(18:25):
and the scenario was the woman cheated on the man
and she decided to go to New York take a child.
Because he wouldn't take her back, they filed for divorce.
He met a woman that was a therapist and she
basically confronted her because the therapist is no longer dealing

(18:46):
with him because they're now dating. Now. What people don't
know is if something like that happens, you do have
to let go of your client and you cannot date
them within thirty days I think thirty sixty days or
how much time. But I can help, but let me
find it right quick. Let me see if I can
find it. But I'm gonna find this scenario and I'm

(19:07):
gonna let y'all hear it right quick. That one, okay,
let me be fine. This one here, just take a
listen right quick? Okay? What kind of water my water?

Speaker 2 (19:23):
Okay, I'm still I didn't learn to come in because
you're not key and you don't live here, so probably
this is my house and cauld you not lean on
my refrigerator, please, doctor faith, you know, doctor face?

Speaker 1 (19:35):
How does it feel to just be.

Speaker 2 (19:36):
Wandering around my house, mosing in my refrigerator, drinking out
my wat bottles?

Speaker 1 (19:41):
And it's outs that I cut on with my husband here? See,
probably sleep in my bed. I don't, I mean not
straight level? Oh? Is that your little tool box of
being a therapist? Isn't? Is it the zin? Is it
the counter? Ten? Is it? Come? And let me remain
even starting not to work though? Oh yeah, yeah? Do

(20:10):
you know what I mean here?

Speaker 2 (20:16):
You accuse me of sleeping with Jay because now you're
talking about my character and my integrity.

Speaker 1 (20:21):
Oh yeah, okay, what gets me out of character? Brave?
It's lovely to get out of character. Yeah, I'd love
to push those little buttons. Not let me do it,
Let me breathe, Let me breathe.

Speaker 2 (20:35):
How do you feel you feel knowing that you've cheated
on your husband. Was brought him to me to help
him with everything that you've done to him. That you know,
I thought we met, right, you know, to get help
you know what. That's okay, that's fine.

Speaker 1 (20:59):
Yeah, we find whatever you want. All this projection that
you're doing, didn't you know why? Yeah? You know you
would think that someone who was a doctor would have
self esteem to be right. And yet hey, Jeremy, Jim,

(21:33):
everybody listen, what's about what you're doing. What you're not
going to do is wake my go up? All right,
I just put it down daughter, Jeremy, in case you're right, everybody, I.

Speaker 3 (21:48):
Don't want nothing else, nothing from nobody, Okay, I said.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
My daughter's sleep y'all need to bring it all the
way down. Let me see anything. Have a pottle of water?
Really figuring about a pottle of water, I guess in
this house. And if you wanted your guests to have
some water, you did.

Speaker 2 (22:08):
Okay, down here and your chests water in my house.

Speaker 3 (22:12):
Listen to me, that small stuff and that is very small.
And I told you that when you got here, I
was leaving. Okay, I just needed you to take over
with ALUs. She's already sleep. Hopefully you have all.

Speaker 1 (22:25):
Around for a bottle of below.

Speaker 4 (22:32):
You need to say, I'm you're right right, this is
what I have, my man. You don't need to be
ready that right, you know, you know, you don't need

(22:54):
to be doing its loud talking about your focus.

Speaker 5 (22:57):
Just relax. I communicated this with shooting when you've got
here going to the movies. I just hated to take
over with it, and it was fine. Go ahead, Jay,
just enjoy your movie day, you little mistress.

Speaker 1 (23:14):
Fuds people's So this is what I mean. This is
what I mean bout fifty fifty. You shoot it on

(23:37):
your husband with a whole nother man, and now you're
mad because this man is moving on with a whole
nother woman. And now you're saying this is your house
because your name is on it. Let me break down
with a lot of y'all don't understand about marriage. Marriage
has nothing to do them. Set the papers, okay, That
one sheet of paper means absolutely nothing. If your name

(23:59):
is not on the least, if your name is not
on any type of insurance policies, if your name is
not on anything that, if God forbid, if anything happens
to this man. You're able to make decisions. That's all.
That piece of paper is. All that piece of paper is.
If y'all get divorced, you have to split assets. That's it.
So everything you came into the marriage with, anything that

(24:20):
you made when you were in the marriage, that is
what y'all gotta deal with, Which is why men do prenups.
Never break down why men do prenups? You know you're
gonna cheat, If you really think you not gonna cheat,
why do you need a prenup? Why do you need
a prenup When y'all can do a marriage contract. That
part a marriage contract breaks down your marriage and what

(24:43):
the both of you want in the marriage, and you
do that with a pastor. That is something I would
do with my clients as a life coach. If I
was doing as a marriage life coach, that's what y'all
would be doing. You wouldn't be doing a prenup. You
would be doing a marriage which is based upon spirituality,

(25:04):
which is based upon what your religion is, and based
upon the respect factor of the marriage. What happens if
you cheat? What happens if you don't basically hold Joe
into the bar because this will solve a lot of arguments,
because these are things that need to break be broken down.

(25:26):
That way, when you get divorced, you can say you
committed in fidelity. But see, women don't never think to
add to that prenup. I'm adding to it. If you
cheat on me, you are paying me that that that
that that prenup is not and void. If you cheat
on me, if I can prove your cheating, it's notinvoid.

(25:48):
So the only way you're gonna stop infidelity is one
way and one way only. I'm not signing that prenup.
We're doing a marriage contract if you And it's in
the now. I don't know if they took it out
or now, because men probably did. In my grandmother's Bible,
there is a scripture that says, if you commit infidelity

(26:11):
against your wife, your wife get everything. The woman that
you get involved with next has to start over with you.
So anything that you equipped that you got with that
woman goes to her. It's in the Bible. I can't
even remember which one of them I find it. Now
get back with y'all on that, But yeah, she gets everything.

(26:32):
You supposed to start over, meaning this new woman is
supposed to help you build and the reason why that's
the case, to show you whether this woman was with
you for the money or not. And me personally, I'm
holding on to it because there's a reason why you're
not messing up my child's legacy for another woman. That's

(26:53):
just not gonna happen now. The only reason that when
it comes to being with the mothers of your children,
that's not the case because y'all ain't quote unquote married,
but in the eyes of God, you are married because
you have children. I need people to understand that marriage
is children. Marriage is not no romantic relationship. It ain't

(27:16):
these big weddings. It's when you have kids. Because marriage
is the biggest test when it comes to your children,
because with your children is about unconditional love. You will
always be mommy and daddy. You don't have to be
husband and wife, but you will always be mommy and daddy.
That's why y'all are still married. You are still married
because you have children, because both of you are responsible

(27:40):
for these kids, not just financially. And the reason why
children are messed up because the father does not come
and have dinner with them, the father does not tuck
them into bed It don't mean that after they go
to bed that he gotta stay there. He can always leave.
You should be able to go on trips together and
be able to be there for your kids even though

(28:01):
you two are not romantically entangled with each other. So
it should be that way. I don't have a problem
with my son's father and I and his wife going
on vacation because we're not together anymore. So we're not together,
does not mean that we're not still married. I am
the first woman that had his firstborn son, the only

(28:23):
son he got, Okay, the only one. So at the
end of the day, I will always be his first
wife in the eyes of God, no matter what, I
am his first wife. At the end of the day,
I have his first born. So at the end of
the day, you not supposed to never let your wife,

(28:45):
your baby mama, be without ever because this other woman
is gonna be your second born. So at the end
of the day, that's when one comes to child support.
The person that has the first born is always gonna
get the most child support, always, so there are certain
privileges to being the first born when they come to
being your baby mama. At the end of the day,

(29:08):
I can't get rid of you if I wanted to.
You're the father of my child. So I'm stuck with you.
So polygamy is not what y'all think it is. Polygamy
is I have a child by this man. Another woman
has a child by this man. But if we go
before God, God is not gonna acknowledge either one of
these women except me and the other baby mama. This

(29:31):
marriage he got. Now, God is never gonna accept that
because they don't have children together. They have no kids together,
but he has two kids by two different women, and
gods are like, this is your wife. That's not your wife.
But we signed papers. Who where in the Bible doesn't
say you gotta sign papers to be married? Who said
that you can go to the Bahamas, going to a

(29:51):
priest and save you're value for God and be married.
So what are y'all talking about? Marriage is not this
sheet of paper? The even in the Bible, they didn't
sign no papers when they got married. You sat there
before a priest and you said, Joe Bows, that was marriage. Well,
the beginning of marriage. See, you don't understand marriage is

(30:13):
when you say this is the person I'm going to
be with. This is the person I'm gonna commit myself to.
No marriage starts long for that shit. But because marriage
starts when from the moment you say this is my girlfriend,
this is my boyfriend, that is marriage because boyfriend and
girlfriends preps you for them kids, because honey, and that's

(30:39):
where that's where we messed up at We have children
by people we never wanted to be with in the
first place, and you ain't got yourself together, And that's
why these kids are messed up because instead of telling
your kids, boy and girl, don't have sex to marriage,
don't have sex to your thirty don't get married to

(31:01):
your twenty seven. No, y'all, don't tell them that. And
that's why there's so many single mothers. The majority of
men had their kids before they turned eighteen, before they
turned twenty one, before they turned twenty five, So most
women and men had their kids under twenty one in

(31:28):
their early twenties. So you can't say it's a pooky
and ray ray thing if two sixteen year olds had
a baby. Do you see the difference between somebody that's
certified and somebody that is not, because somebody's not just
not even looking at it from that perspective, you're thinking
that every woman had their baby at twenty five, They

(31:51):
had their baby at twenty seven. No, they had their
baby at eighteen. Most of these girls are having babies
at ten years old, nine years old. Are you gonna
call that little boy a pooky and red rain, No
you're not. Are you gonna call a young girl that
got session salted by her mama's boyfriend or a family member,

(32:15):
you gonna call him pooky in the red ring? No,
you can't. You can't say a sixteen year old was
with a pooky in a right ring if both of
them are basically two years apart. You can't say nothing
about a girl that's eighteen years old that gets pregnant
while she's in college, or she got sessionly salted by

(32:38):
a bunch of men and she don't know who the
baby daddy is. Are you gonna call her pook and
ring ring? A girl that has something slipped in her drink,
a young boy that couldn't take no for an answer,
a young boy who told a sixteen year old girl,
if I take the condom off, I can't get you pregnant.
That part, or like my situation with a condom broke

(33:00):
and we use condoms every time we have sex and
the condom broke. Guess what, I got a twenty seven
year old out of that. So you can't say that
an eighteen year old between eighteen and twenty two is
a pooky or ray ray because some of these dudes
come from great families and they were told by their

(33:23):
mama and they daddy to go out there and have
sex with as many females as you can. Our knew
friends would benefits at the age of twenty seven before
a lot of y'all have heard it now. Back in
the day when I was coming up, men boys didn't

(33:44):
tell you they had multiple females. That's how they got
you to have sex with them, because they say, if
you love me, you'll have sex with me. If you
don't have sex with me, I'm moving on to the
next chick. What do you think of female gonna do
being that she's being pre impressured, being that she's afraid
if she don't have sex, but she's gonna lose this boy?

(34:06):
Do we not do it as adults? Yes we do.
That is the main number one reason why young girls
gave up their virginity. If you love me, you'll have
sex with me. If you don't, I'm moving on to
the next shit. And that is why young girls have sex.

(34:29):
Because she liked that boy, and she wanted to keep
that boy, and she felt like if she had sex
with him, he stay. And that's not the case. Majority
of young girls first times were terrible. It wasn't even
worth it, and it didn't even last that long. Why

(34:51):
because they don't know about sex. We don't teach our
daughters to keep their standards. And it should not be
a young girl having sex with ad because she's pure pressured.
A young girl should not be having sex because the
only way she gonna keep this boys if she has
sex with him. Because that's ninety nine points nine nine

(35:13):
nine percent of the time how this happens. Even as adults,
we all do the same thing as women. We feel
like the only way we can keep these minutes if
we have sex with them, If we do all of
these things to make sure they not gonna need another woman,
and yet they still go run the mess with another
woman anyway. This is the reason I'm saying this. A
lot of these people on these panels do not know
what they're talking about because they don't even bring up

(35:36):
these young girls having these babies of young ages and
the fact they're raising these kids by themselves, and now
they can't even get an abortion because the road versus
wade was overturned. But guess was getting ready to happen. Now,
either these these young babies gonna be unalived or they're
gonna be put in this false care They forgot about
that part. See they didn't once government did not once

(35:58):
think that they're still the falster care system. Do you
know that the false care system is gonna be at
an all time high because all these young girls are
gonna be giving up their kids for adoption and giving
them to parents that can't have kids. That part. So
if you think that it's about people having kids at

(36:18):
twenty five and twenty six, no, you have to go
a little bit further down than nets. The majority of
girls and women who have had their kids had their
kids under the age of twenty one and got pregnant
before twenty one. So would y'all letter have that conversation
because a lot of y'all ain't ready to have that

(36:39):
conversation about your daughters out here having sex and your
daughter's being pure pressured by a boy. See this is
why I tell all the men in my life when
I got with them. Oh, so y'all want to be
a community. You know what, right do you not know
your daughter gonna be with somebody just like you seem
There are females that do have their fathers, and and

(37:00):
their fathers mess around with multiple women, And even though
they have not seen all these women, that doesn't mean
they don't know. So however you represent yourself as a man,
your daughter gonna end up one just like them. I
had a friend of mine right now that reminds me
so much, and my daddy is not even funny how
much he reminds me of my daddy, But not because

(37:21):
of what y'all think. Ain't got nothing to do with
certain things. No, it's the fact that he think he
know everything. We have these arguments, and I'm like, you're
not always right. So I got to the point I
said in twenty four I'm gonna do the same thing
I do with my dad. I ain't saying nothing when
I tell you, if he ever meets my dad, he

(37:43):
gonna understand. They have so much in common. They do,
but the pros outweigh the cons. But again, most of
us gonna end up with a man like our father.
If our father is involved, we will meet somebody just
like And that's just the god honest truth. So at

(38:04):
the end of the day, if you give up your kids,
for example, and someone else is raising your kids, even
though they raised those kids, that's still not the biological child.
That child is still gonna want to know who their
parents are. So let me bring up infidelity in a
way that y'all not understanding. Infidelity has nothing to do
with a romantic relationship because it really don't. And relationships

(38:26):
don't have anything to do with a romantic relationship. It's platonic.
So when you have a platonic relationship, and let's say
I have friends that I've known for twenty years that
I just saw with the holidays and we talked about
how we met. And at the end of the day,
you are more stricter on your friends than you are

(38:48):
your romantic partner. You will get rid of a friend
way easier than you would a partner. You'll give up
your friends for that man or that woman. Well, women
will give up their friends more so than a man will.
You'll be getting ready to go out your man do something,
and all of a sudden you back in the house.

(39:08):
You ain't even gonna worry. But you think he's gonna
do that for you. No, he's gonna go out because
men ain't giving up their friends for a woman. This
is not happening. Every once in a while I hear
about that, but for the most part, men are not
giving up their friends for no woman. So I want
people to understand that when it comes to fifty to fifty.
The reason why fifty fifty is important because y'all are

(39:30):
both individuals, and y'all are coming together and y'all not
always gonna agree. That's where fifty fifty comes in at.
Because fifty to fifty is if I'm different than you,
and my point of view is different than yours, then
that means I see something that you don't. I can't
even be one of these people that's a yes person
so badly what y'all want is a yes person. You

(39:52):
want somebody no matter what you do, they're gonna allow
you to get away with it. They no matter what
you do, they still gonna stay there. Even if you
put your hands on them, they still gonna stay there.
If you cheat on them, they still gonna stay there.
If you verbally emotionally and mentally abused, You're still gonna
stay there. You want a sea feeling. You want to
cap the saber hooe. You want to build a bear

(40:14):
and to build a dog. What you want is a
people please. That's what you want, and it sounds to
me that's what men want of people please. Women want
a sugar. That see what y'all want as parents, you
don't want a spouse. You want a parent because that's
that gonna sound like mommy dad, a child dynamic. See,
because let me break this down in a way that

(40:36):
didn't makes sense. Your parents. Your parents commit infidelity against you,
and you commit infidelity against them, and break down how
this works when both When your parents split up, they
don't care nothing about how you feel about it. They
don't care that y'all are y'all are destroying your family
and how your kids gonna take it. That's infidelity. You're

(40:57):
being selfish. You care nothing about them. You don't try
to work it out for them. You just want to
break up because y'all ain't emotionally attached. That ain't got
nothing to do with them kids. The one thing that
you keep y'all together and keep you doing the right
thing is the unconditional love y'all have towards your kids.
But no, you don't care nothing about that. I did

(41:19):
for seven years till it just got disrespectful. I had
no choice. But let me tell you what my son
did when he was two years old. My son said,
at that though waiting on his dad to come home,
and when he didn't come home, he would not move,
he would not eat, he would not do nothing. I
told me, I told the dad this. Recently, he said,
why didn't you ever tell me that? Because you were
too busy doing you even bring it up. We tried

(41:42):
for seven years. It didn't work. But it wasn't because
I did I didn't want the marriage or I didn't
want to work. It was him he didn't want it.
I didn't want I didn't want to be a single mother.
I didn't I never wanted to be a single mother,
and I tried everything I could to make it work.
But my son's father was not at a place to

(42:05):
where he wanted to step up and do what he
needed to do as a man. And that's the part
y'all don't talk about. A lot of these young dudes
want to run the streets. They want to do what
they want to do, and they want you to be
there while they're running the streets. You don't care about
how what you do when you're outside their door impacts

(42:25):
what's in here. And that's why I said, you can
be in the world, but not a part of the world.
And the problem is a lot of men want to
be a part of the world, and a lot of
women want to be a part of the world. Y'all
always want to be into something. It is just something
about excitement. It just seems to skt y'all in something,
and excitement is basically the gateway to the seven deadly
sins anyway, like beauty is the gateway to the seven

(42:48):
deadly sins, sex is the gateway to the seven deadly sins.
And possessions in other words, the external siren. I call
it the siren phase, the siren phaseody, And if y'all
don't know what to say, is I break down for you.
A siren is during Greek mythology were mermaids that were
very unattracted. They had beautiful voices that led pirates to
their deaths. Now they say this actually did happen, that

(43:11):
there were mermaids out there that were lurering pirates to
their deaths and if they managed, If a pirate was
able to get close enough to the siren, it would
lwer them by basically hypnotizing them by the voice to
basically present a fantasy, and they would either end up
keeping that pirate or they would devour the pirate if

(43:34):
they got close enough to the sirens. That's what you're
dealing with in twenty twenty three. When you're looking at
the cars, the cribs, you're looking at all the possessions,
but you're not looking at the person. You're not looking
at their mental capability. You're not looking at their ambition.
You're not looking at can they pay bills? Can they

(43:55):
fold close? Can they wash clothes? You're not looking at
none of that. You're looking at the illusion of it all.
It's like all these girls that are with these these
celebrities and they're out there cheating on them. It's the
same illusion. So why would you want to be with
the man that every woman wants? Because when you're want
a man that every woman wants or every man every

(44:15):
woman desires, then guess what there's gonna be a the
nochuralist belt. Chris Brown is an example of that. Chris
Brown is an example of he's just gonna look at
a woman as you're in a nochra on his belt
because a lot of the dudes that are in the industry,
a lot of them didn't get girls like that, and
this ain't no Back then you didn't want me. Now
I'm hot, you're all on me. So now every woman

(44:36):
ain't look at it's like a prostitute. Every woman they
look at it's just like a god saying sugar baby.
They know these these these these that they don't that.
How can I put this? Then be delicate with this.
These men that got money know that you don't want them.
You didn't want them when they're a rogue. You didn't

(44:56):
want them when they got money, and now you're mad
because they want other races to win women. See that's
the problem. The ones you thought had money were the
ones that had money that was short time money, fast money.
But the ones that got the longevity money you didn't
want because at the time they didn't have it. And
now they have it, you're mad because they want other

(45:19):
races of women. Get mad about it. How are you
gonna be mad at a man that you never wanted
when you were he was in high school. You never
wanted him when he was broke. So if this white
girl has been with him since high school, if this
white girl or hispanic girl, whatever female it is, was
with him, I can't be mad at it because you

(45:39):
didn't want them. Terrell Owen said the same thing in
an interview. It was not black women that wanted him,
it was white girls that wanted him. So you can't
get mad at these men if they're saying their preference
is a white girl. You didn't want them. You didn't

(45:59):
want them, So why are you mad? Because these men
want to date outside their race. So what Let them
have it? Let them have it, because at the end
of the day, you just gonna be another notch on
his belt. You just gonna be the person that's gonna
be a basically a build a bear, a seat filler,
captain saber hole, and you just gonna be the one

(46:21):
building him for them white girls. Because what y'all don't
understand is when these men make it the majority of
them females at them parties are non black, then I'm
black and they will do whatever it takes to get them.
Men trust and believe most of the football players in
the industry are non black. So how do you think

(46:44):
you're gonna be able to access to a celebrity when
the majority of the women that they're gonna meet are
non black. That the majority of non black women represents success.
So why in the world would he want a black
girl when he can have a woman that represents success. So,
at the end of the day, black women, let me
give you a suggestion. If y'all don't stop thinking that

(47:08):
you can be a man when it comes with friends
with benefits, Honey, friends with benefits is not benefit of woman.
It doesn't because the only person that's gonna lose is you.
These men care nothing, and I'm gonna go here. These
men care nothing about what you do sexually. They don't
even pay attention to it. They don't know nothing about
what you do. If you ask a man what is

(47:30):
it that makes a woman good in bed, they can't
tell you. The only thing they gonna tell you is
it's warm and it feels good, and don't smell that.
The only thing they're gonna tell you. They're not paying
attention to any of the tricks that you do because
they're not paying attention to it. Whereas a woman, we
pay attention to that. Why because we were talking to

(47:52):
we were trying to pay attention towards those things. Do
you really think men really know what sex is? No,
they were never taught, and the ones that were taught
aren't the ones messing around with multiple women. They get
all these women going insane. If you ask a man,
what is your girl's sex drive? On average? How long

(48:14):
does she like to have sex? How much does she
like to have sex? They couldn't tell you that. They
don't care. And let me break down. Oh I love
to break this one down because I broke this down
on tiptop. Let's talk about them being the first on
this planet. Okay, let's talk about it. How is it

(48:35):
that if y'all were the first, then explain to me
that why when y'all get a woman pregnant, she ends
up with a girl. Don't you think if the man
is supposed to be the first, don't you think your
firstborn would be a boy. Don't you think your firstborn
son would be the one taking care of the siblings.

(48:58):
Why would it be the little girl got the be
the one that's gonna tell y'all what to do? See
what you don't understand is teaching is based upon a
woman nurturing, So that would trump provide and protect because
nurturing you're gonna do every day. Provide and protect you're
not gonna do every day. You ain't do that once

(49:19):
a mon. So you ain't do that when you're with
your girl, because you're not gonna be with your girl
every single solitary day to protect her. You're only gonna
protect her when she's in your presence. And if you're
cheating on her, then she ain't even protected from you.
See that part right there. See, we're not gonna do
that as far as providing protect because number one, we

(49:39):
are all individuals. We should be able to take care
of ourselves. You are the addition to me or either
distraction of me. But you don't define me if you
can't accept me for who I am, flaws and all.
If you can't accept the fact I don't want to
be like these other chicks running around here. I don't

(50:00):
want to do plastic surgery. I don't wear makeup, I
don't do none of that. I have a respect factor.
I am a traditional woman. I was forced to be independent.
Let me explain why I had to be independent. When
I was in high school, no God wanted to date me.
I'm light skinned. These guys didn't want to date me.

(50:21):
I was a nerd. I still am to this day.
I was a geeky girl I was. I ain't somebody
that when it came to socialization, I didn't want to socialize.
Save my life. I would never walk up to nobody
and say, do you want to be my friend? I
had this Montreal, whatever it was that was meant for me,
God was gonna bring it to me. I was not
going to look for nothing. And now I realized why

(50:43):
I should never do that when I got older, because
when you don't go looking for something, that means nothing's
coming towards you. So a good example of this will
be homeless people. When you got homeless people that are
running around here that ain't got nothing, you ain't thinking
about that. But when you got somebody get a bunch
of money, here come all the people that's thinking about them.
But they don't want you for you. They want you

(51:05):
for what you got. They want you for Cloud. They
want you Cloud. Do you really think that loss of
Pippen really wants Michael Jordan's son. No? No, So the
reason why fifty to fifty is so important. If that
person tomorrow, since I want to leave the relationship, go ahead.

(51:29):
I have no children by you. That is why fifty
fifty is important. Fifty fifty is important because both of
y'all got your own share of morals, values, principles, and ethics.
You have your own way of thinking. That's why it's
fifty to fifty. I'm not following behind you and you
gonna interrupt, messing up my life. That part how you

(51:51):
affect and impact my life. That is why I will
never do fifty to fifty. I will never do fifty
to fifty because I have had men impact my life
in the world way possible because of their behavior when
they walk out that door. It's too many men that
are easily influenced not only by women, but also by
other men. And there's too many women that are influenced

(52:12):
as well. And the fact that you're more worried about
what everybody else think versus what who I am as
a person, that is a problem. A lot of men
will not date a woman that treats them well because
of what everybody else got to say about her, even
though it shouldn't even matter what these people got to
say about her because they're not they're not dating her.
You are that part number one. When you date somebody,

(52:36):
it should not be about what everybody else think about her.
You're the one dating her. If you notice she's a
good woman, and you know she's a woman of God,
she ain't got to prove nothing to you, because her
abilities is gonna show. Naturally, any woman that is a
godly woman, any woman that is a people pleaser, you're
going to see it. People gonna like her. Why because

(52:57):
she's naturally a good woman. You ain't got to tell
her to go in the kitchen and cook. You ain't
gotta tell her to go in there and clean. She
gonna do it anyway. That's how I've always been. One
dude I dated or I ain't eve gonna say the
word dated. One one dude I had friends with benefits.
I said, look that I went over there when he
broke his leg and he was a military. I actually

(53:18):
cleaned his hometown house every single Friday, was six weeks.
Went over there and cleaned his whole INtime house. He
didn't ask me to do went over there? Did anyone
did he choose me? No? Has any man ever said
I was bad to bed. No, No, I cooked, I cleaned.
I was a traditional woman. Every man that I dealt

(53:38):
with that I did friends with benefits with. I never
slept with another man, never thought about it, didn't cross
my mind. I still wasn't chosen. So at the end
of the day, let me break down the truth to
y'all about this. You want attractive women to do what
unattractive women naturally do not happening. Women that are attractive

(54:01):
don't have to do it. They're not going to do it,
and you can't force them to do it. So, yeah,
they're pretty, but they have no substance. Not every woman
was born beautiful. Some women grow into their beauty and
that's different. But the ones that are born beautiful, they
ain't got a cooking glean. They can always find another

(54:22):
man that's gonna basical give them what they want. So
why in the world do they need to do all
this stuff? So what reason do any attractive woman need
to fight for a man when there's a whole bunch
of men out there. Unless she really wants that man,
then she'll do it. Other than that, no, she's not
gonna do it. She ain't gonna do it because the
fact that you want her to do it. The only
way she's gonna do it is because she's fighting for

(54:44):
her marriage. She's fighting for her relationship, and you got
her to fall in love with you. Other than that, No,
the only way that women are gonna fight for a
man is if they want that man. That is the
only way they're gonna fight for him. To be real,
what I want people to understand is this fifty to
fifty is important because of the fact of how somebody

(55:05):
gonna impact your life, how they're going to affect your life,
how they're going to basically destroy everything you stand on.
So when you go out here and you make these choices,
they don't not only impact you, they impact another person.
That's why it's fifty to fifty. It's not fifty to
fifty because of the fact that you want to pay

(55:26):
all the bills. No, it ain't got nothing to do
with that. It's the fact that when you get out here,
I don't know what you're doing. You up here having
sex with a god for second secretary. You taking this
lady on trips, but you don't take me. All you
want me to do is sit at home and watch
your kids. The only reason you get me pregnant. Ooh ooh,
the only reason y'all get women pregnant because you want

(55:49):
a definite seat filler, the baby mama. And every time
you go through relationships and don't work out, who do
you come back to, your baby mama, the woman that
got a child by you. And that is the reason
y'all do what y'all do. Y'all running around and have
all these babies. Y'all ain't taking care of it. You
ain't spending time with that, You are not raising in

(56:09):
any capacity. You ain't raising these babies at all. Oh
she ah, that's my great needs. A little cute self, ben,
my mom sent me something ball. The fact that y'all
sit up here and you think that it's women. No.

(56:29):
Men need to be responsible who you decide to skeep
skeet sketing. You need to be more responsible who you
put your spine men, because at the end of the day,
a woman can only receive. She ain't given nothing, She
can just receive. So it really falls on men to
stop being irresponsible when it comes to your what's between

(56:49):
your legs. So at the end of the day, will
great power come great responsibility? Men? Need to stop having sex,
no different than women need to stop having sex. So
if I was women, I would say like this, if
you love me, you'll wait. If a man can cannot
wait until you ready, he the one for you know what,

(57:10):
you will meet a man that will wait. There are
men out here who don't have a problem. We're being
celibate for you, cause there are men out here. When
you meet them have messed. We have had sex with
so many women they're like, I don't even want to
do it. The more do you not understand that y'all
overwork what's between your legs? Fellas? Do you not understand
that y'all cannot stop running around? Do you think what's

(57:32):
between your legs really want to mess around with? Most women? No?
Because let me break down why when y'all get older,
it slows down and while y'all ejaculate, So you know,
God for second quickly because you've overworked it. You have
confused the daylights out of what's between your legs. It

(57:53):
wasn't with one woman that it recognized. Then when it
gets used to one you decide to get rid of
her and move on to the next. Do you not
know that y'all ain't on the same page. Do you
know women are more on the same page about what's
between their legs than you are. Do you not know
we know ours? Do you not know the reason why

(58:13):
women for a place so important and why when it
comes to two women when it comes to having sex
while y'all enjoy it, Because again, women are smarter than y'all.
We know our bodies, we know what we want, and
we have standards because we're raised to have them. Y'all
have no standards none. You don't have standards in a

(58:35):
way that matters, and it's always women cleaning up your messages.
There are women sitting in jail because of y'all that
committed and unalive somebody because of y'all. There are women
that are in jail because they're a boyfriend with a
drug dealer and they just happen to be guilty by association.
There are women in jail that help dudes basically jack

(58:58):
and rob people and they sitting in There are women
that have fought over men that sitting in jail right now.
You have girls that unallive their parents and vice versa.
So please explain to me how y'all are the smartest
sex please explain to the men there are more men
unliving women than women unliving men. So at the end

(59:23):
of the day, when it comes to that skit that
I play, the reason it is so important is because
the double standard is real. People ain't allowed to react
to what's being done to them. People aren't allowed to
punch you in your face when you do something to them.
People ain't allowed to do nothing negative to you, walk
away from you. We the ones got to take the loss.

(59:44):
And then the crazy part is half of y'all don't
even want to repent for your wrongs. Half of y'all
don't even want to make amends for what you've done.
But when you go to judgment day, guess what, that's
what you got to do. God don't care about what
you did. God want to know by you win against him.
To hang around them people, that's gonna have you sitting
in jail. This love life. Appreciate value, wanted and needed

(01:00:09):
to be a part of some, to be approved of,
to be validated, to be accepted for somebody know your
work and approved some is actually absolutely ridiculous because if
you are a godly person, you ain't gotta do it.
You don't have to do it. It's gonna show anyway.
You don't have to prove nothing to a negative person,
anybody negative that's telling you you gotta do something negative

(01:00:30):
to jump over who's getting the word? Answer should be no.
And that's why fifty fifty is important because I can
take my money and leave. I can take what I
came with and leave. The only reason y'all don't want
fifty to fifty because you don't want her to leave.
That's obsession, that's starking the fact that you don't want

(01:00:53):
a woman to have her dreams, her goals. You don't
want her to make more money than you. What ain't
my father she want? It's a pint of you. That's
your problem. Why an't you mad because your girl make
more money than you? Why an't you mad because you
can't be head of household? Because you don't know how
to pay bills. You are giving your wife money to
pay bills because you don't know how to pay bills.

(01:01:14):
You want to go, get you a pair of Jordan,
then come to me and ask me to pay your bills.
Do you know how many these bills men's that I
had to pay for? Do you know how many men
I invested in their business and they took their money
and gave to a who another woman. There are women
that will hold you down and you don't want them.

(01:01:35):
There are women that will sit up here and will
accept your terms, but y'all can't even keep up the
end of the bar. That's why when it come to
friends with benefits, I asked, what's the rules? Everything has rules?
What is the rules to this? If I see you
in the mall and you see me, what makes you
think I'm gonna say anything to this girl about you? Sniver?

(01:01:58):
Break down how I get them? If we're friends with benefits?
No female better call my house. No female better not
approach me. It shouldn't even be this conversation because I
ain't the one lying to it. You came up to me. Now.
I am not against any man dating, not against it
at all, because you are gonna be dating other people.

(01:02:22):
But me, I know I can as a woman because
I'm not trying to have two different men that I
got a baby buy and then STDs and HIV and
full blown AIDS. I can't do it. So when I'm
dealing with men like that, I use protection in every aspect,
and there's just certain things I'm just knocking do because
I don't know who used it for. You came to
my house because you can't get herpes in the mouth,

(01:02:44):
believe it or not. And so women need to understand
you're not a male. You can never do what a
male does when it come to that. And the fact
that you think that you can be friends with benefits
with a man, think again, he got too many options.
There are too many females that will drop their draws.
There's too many females that's willing to be side chicks, groupies, hoes, skeezers, strippers.

(01:03:06):
In the sex industry, I call them stretch sex industry
type of females. In other words, free prostitutions, free escorts,
free hoes, groupies. There ain't nothing but the same capacity
except the ones that, at least in the sex industry
actually get paid. I respect them more so than the

(01:03:27):
side chicks because if you think you're getting some because
this man is giving you a couple of dollars, girl,
all it is he wants you to do all these
things sexually that he can't do with his wife. Because
in the Bible it says as a wife, there are
certain things you're not allowed to do with sexually when
it comes to your husband. That part. See, my whole

(01:03:47):
thing is I can bring all this stuff up and
show it to you if you like me to. I
could do it really easily and with my eyes closed.
But this is the difference between a life coach who
is sotified and someone who is not. Number one, I'm
bringing receipts. I can bring receipts. Why fifty to fifty.

(01:04:08):
It's better than having a man take over. I'm sorry.
I don't depend on man to that extent. I'm not
trusting a man one hundred percent that he's gonna provide
and protect from me. Absolutely not. I will never do that.
I got a daddy that's still in my life, and
you must understand I still have my father. Okay. If
my daddy gotta come over and do anything, I don't

(01:04:29):
need you, okay, Because here's the whole reason why marriage
was even came up in the first place. Your parents
don't want their daughters to be alone, and your mothers
don't want their sons to be alone. If something happens
to them, that woman has to be towards you the
way your mother was towards you and your father was

(01:04:51):
towards her. That's how it works. So the reason why
all of this is such an issue because y'all don't
even know the truth about marriage. Marriage is nothing but
pro creation. So you won't be alone if something God
forbid happens with your parents. Your parents know you are
in good hands when it comes to your spouse, and

(01:05:13):
that he who finds a good man, who who finds
a good wife, finds I forget the rest of it,
but anyway, also, you love your wife the way the
way Jesus love the church. A lot of y'all ain't
doing that either. It's not a lot of y'all men
out here that are godly men out here, and a
lot of y'all that God leads your life. Let me

(01:05:34):
tell you, when I ask a man what makes you
who you are? I ask a man what makes you
who you are? Why do you do the things you do?
The first thing they say, I said, who are you?
They'll say I'm successful, I'm this, I'm this and that.
But you never once say I'm a godly man, I'm
a man of God, I'm a man of Allah. I

(01:05:57):
had one man that asked he said that. He said,
first of all, and foremost, I'm a man of God.
Why I am anything else? I am a man of God.
Number two, God leads my life. God is the one
that leads me to my purpose and that type of thing.
So when I hear a man say he's on his purpose,
I'm not talking about financially. I'm talking a man on
his purpose when it comes to himself, when it comes

(01:06:18):
to his mental, psychological, emotional, and spiritual journey. A man
that when it comes to his overall health and wellness internally,
he is working on himself. He's a man that doesn't
need to be around a bunch of people. He's not
influenced by a bunch of negative people. He's not letting
nobody negative destroy his life. Absolutely not. So at the

(01:06:43):
end of the day, what I want y'all to understand
and hear me, and hear me clearly, y'all came in
these words in this world not knowing anything about any
of the stuff that's taught behavior. All this stuff y'all
talking about is taught behavior. It doesn't work. A man
primarily paying the bills and a woman staying home does

(01:07:03):
not work. If men will get out of their ego
and understand that when you start making money. Seeing This
is what I mean when I say low vibrational. Each
one of y'all are supposed to elevate, evolve, grow, mature,
and now what you're supposed to do. You're not allowing

(01:07:26):
your wife to elevate. You think your wife's only job
is to take care of the kids and clean. If
that's non elevating, I don't know what it is. Why
are you intimidated about a woman being able to do it?
All I did, I worked in and took care of
my child. But at the end of the day, yes,

(01:07:46):
I put my job intoday care. So let me break
it down in a way that you're gonna make y'all
rethink not having fifty to fifty well, because if you,
if you make it where the woman does one hundred percent,
take away the back complaining. Take away your comfort and
your convenience. Take away not being success, take away the

(01:08:08):
school system, take away the mechanics. Take away all these
people that do all this stuff. You'll be doing it yourself.
That's why fifty to fifty is important, because you don't
have to do all this stuff unlike our parents did.
So if you think I'm gonna give up comfort, and
convenience when I ain't called a mechanic come fix my car.
I can't call a plumber and an air conditioned person

(01:08:30):
to come fix what need to be fixed because my
husband don't know how to fix it. If that was
the case, then men would be fixing the cars. They
be fixing the air conditioning, they'll be fixing the plumber,
they'll be doing all this stuff. You wouldn't need it
all these people. You wouldn't need all these restaurants if
we did it all, if we actually did our jobs.

(01:08:53):
Oh but you're not thinking about it from that perspective,
are you? So you want to get rid of comfort
and convenience so I can do it all? No, no, no,
because you're gonna be doing the same thing. If I
have to give up my comfort and convenience of the
school system and daycare so I can go to work
and fulfill my dreams and my goals, then guess what,

(01:09:15):
so are you? Because you gonna be fixing the sink,
the kitchen, you gonna be out there cutting the grass.
You're gonna be doing everything that a man is supposed
to do. Because y'all are not doing everything a man
is supposed to do. The majority of y'all, So don't
don't pull this. I'm a man now, you ain't because
if you don't know how to fix a sink and
you don't know how to put up a god for

(01:09:37):
second desk, you are not a man, sweetheart. If you
don't know how to go out there and hunt food,
then you're not a man. Y'all ain't doing none of that.
Please stop talking to me about you being a man,
because the majority of y'all wouldn't even be able to
handle being in the military. I don't even knowing that,
so it ain't. No, don't pull on this provided to
protect nonsense, because guess what I canvide to protect my damnself. Lord.

(01:10:00):
I'm sorry, mm. We ain't doing that today, because that
is not the way God said this. There's only one
woman that was supposed to submit, and that is Eve,
even the one that went they made they made Adam
go against God, and y'all still going against God, against
them same women, like the Delilahs, like the what's his name,

(01:10:24):
like all them women that said that Solomon had and
David who went against his soldier to get his soldier's wife. No,
I ain't doing that today. Submission has to be earned,
not given. I'm not submitting to a man that's not
on the level that he needs to be. I am

(01:10:45):
not submitting to a man that's still a mama's boy
and still sucking on his mama's boobies. I'm not doing that.
I am not submitting to a man that does not
know how to cook and clean for himself. I am
not submitting to a man that does not know how
to do my job and I don't know how to do.
I am not submitting to a man that's gonna tell
me I cannot get a job. You have lost your

(01:11:05):
ever loving God for say of mind. If you think
I'm gonna sit here all day, No, I'm gonna make
some money because I'm a hustle. You not holding me back,
For my greatness. You not holding me back because before
I met you and had a career, and after I
met you, I'm still gonna have one. And if I
choose not to have a baby until I decide i'm
ready to, you need to respect that because you ain't

(01:11:25):
gonna be goanna take care of me until I'm in
my career to where I can retire and start a
business and raise this baby. Don't talk to me about nothing.
There is no twenty one year old in under. There
should be no There should not be a twenty five
year old having a baby. As a female, a woman
should have a first child at thirty between thirty and

(01:11:45):
thirty five. That way, she's done it. All. Girls should
have every right to have experiences. Girls should have every
right to experience the world, to be able to travel,
to have funds with their friends. They should be able
to do that. They should not be stuck raising a
baby at sixteen. They should not be stuck having a
baby at twenty one. So at the end of that now,

(01:12:08):
because if you wanna tell you, if you want to
go ahead, then let's go to here. Then then the
majority of y'all should have been married to your baby mamas,
because you wouldn't be having multiple kids if you were
actually married to the mother of your child. See, if
there were consequences and repercussion from infidelity, then we wouldn't
be having these issues. But see, infidelity start with childhood

(01:12:29):
because you couldn't get what you wanted from your mama,
so you went to your daddy, and your daddy wouldn't
give it to you, so you went to your grandma.
That's infidelity. Anytime you can't get what you want from
wherever it is that you get it from, you gonna
find somebody's gonna give it to you. I want my money,
I want it now, James Scott Farren. I'm gonna go
out there and get it any no matter. So at

(01:12:50):
the end of the day, I'm trying to understand why
is it y'all still on these high school relationships, because
that is not grown relationships. Grown relationships is not I
do more than you, you do more than me. We
do it together. I respect you, you respect me. We
talk to each other as a dogs, meaning you respect
my feelings, I respect yours. This is not no one

(01:13:13):
sided relationship. It is not where a man is the
primary breadwinner in the house. It's whoever is the one
that's the most responsible and man, and not every man
is responsible. Not every man can handle head of household.
You just want the title of head of household, but
you don't want everything to come with it. Will great

(01:13:36):
power come great responsibility. So if you want it to
be the way y'all wanted to be, then I tell
you what, why don't we give it all these jobs?
Why don't we give it all these jobs that give
y'all comfort and convenience so you can achieve your goals.
Why don't we go back to it and making things difficult.

(01:13:57):
Why don't we go back to the kman days when
you had to go then go catch something in order
to cook it. Why don't you take away all the stoves?
Why don't we take away all the houses, take away everything,
and just go ahead and be on out there. Because
doesn't sound like that's what y'all want to be. That's
exactly what it sounds like y'all want to be. So
at the end of the day, I'm an end this

(01:14:18):
by saying this, it is fifty to fifty because I
have just as much in this marriage as you. I
am not a child. You are not suppose be taking
care of me like I'm a child. It is not
just your responsibility to make sure these bills are paid.
It is our responsibility to make sure these bills are

(01:14:38):
pay It is not just my responsibility to raise these kids.
It is our responsibility to take care of these kids.
It is us, we they them, so on and so forth. Plural,
it's not singular, it's plural. Some of y'all like y'all
not married, nor for will you married. Some of y'all

(01:14:59):
don't care none of the consequence, and we because don't
care about who you hurt. You think that because not
being done in the dark, that eventually won't come to
the light. Yes, it will. Was done in the dark,
will always be done in the light, always, no matter what.
So the reason why it is fifty to fifty because
the thing God forbid this person does something that is

(01:15:21):
going to impact themselves, it ain't never gonna affect you.
A good example of this would be a situation where
you may have a man that passed away and you
now have to take on his debt. So I'll give
you a very good example of this. Student Loans called
me about consolidating my student loans and I said, what

(01:15:44):
if I pay it off early for over twenty years
And they said that if something happened to me, it
just gets written off, so my son would never have
to pay it. I said, well, my son is autistic.
Well it'll go to the person that's taking care of him.
So in other words, you're gonna put my student laan
on my child. You're gonna put my studn loans on
somebody that is actually taking care of my child. That

(01:16:05):
is absolutely ridiculous. What you're gonna do something happen him.
Who are you gonna pass it to my sister, my cousins.
It's just like your kids take on your deck. And
that is the reason why I say fifty fifty is
so important, because why in the world should somebody be
taking on your deck? Why am I paying for something

(01:16:28):
that I'm never gonna use or I'm never going to
be a part of. I put a car on my name.
Luckily I was able to get out of it because
it ended up being a lemon kind of find out
the man was scamming people, so luckily I was able
to get out of but I never got my money
back for the insurance. So the reason why fifty to
fifty is so important because your stuff is yours and

(01:16:49):
mine is mine. Because when something happen to you, I
am not taking on your god for second deck. You'll
be amazed how many women are taking on other men's
debt that have passed away, and how many men have
taken on the women's debt student loans, because student loans
are definitely gonna be passed on to your kids. And
they will be passed on to your husband. So whatever
debt you got gonna be passed on to your family.

(01:17:12):
And that's why these living wills and all of that
is important. So if your if your if if the
person does not have a living will, the person does
not have you on their life insurance, then none, none
of being married matters. If his mother is on his
living will, if his mother is on his insurance, then

(01:17:33):
you being married doesn't even matter because she out trumps you.
If she's on his power of attorney, then being married
is not gonna matter. That's why I'm telling y'all, it's
just she the paper because at the end of the day,
if something happened to him, you can't make no decisions
for him. Why because mother's gonna be the one making
the decisions. It will not be you. It's just like

(01:17:54):
in some cases, you may have a situation where the
husband leaves everything to the church or leads it to
leads it to these charities. You get nothing. So you
married this man for all these years and you get nothing.
That's why that sit the paper don't mean nothing if

(01:18:15):
you're not on the paperwork on everything else. So it's
not just about being married and having a title, having
a name is about the fact that you on his
living will, that you on his insurance policies, that you're
on everything, that you're on his insurance, you're on all
of it. Because if you have to get your own insurance,
that right there is tell you that's not your husband.

(01:18:36):
Because if your husband can't put you on his insurance,
if your husband can't put you on his insurance policy,
if your husband cannot put you on anything, that is
a problem. Because if your name is not on their
house and let's just say he didn't pay none of
the bills and he passed away abruptly, you are stuck
with them bills. You're stuck with them. So you don't

(01:18:59):
understand and why fifty to fifty is so important. I'm
not taking on my husband's bills just because I was
married to that man, and that's the whole point. If
he's the one that jeopardized and not said nothing about
him not paying the bills for twenty years and now
I ain't gotta take it all. No, I'm not taking
on none of it. And that's why it should be

(01:19:22):
fifty to fifty. And that's the real reason why people
don't want to get married as far as legally because
that way, if we separate, I can go my way,
you can go yours. I take what's mine, you take
what's yours, and that's it. And that's why people don't
want to get married. It has nothing to do with
the fact that people don't want to be married. It's
just people don't want to be married in the fascist
of it being legal because you will be taking on

(01:19:45):
somebody else's debt, You'll be taking on somebody that's responsibilities,
and that is not a good thing, especially if there's
no paperwork. So if you're married to him, you're gonna
be stuck with everything that come with that person, negatively
or positively. So you need to be very careful on
who you decide to deal with. And that's why fifty
to fifty is so important, because we're doing this together

(01:20:09):
and it should be where honesty should be the most
important thing. Because a person can't be honest with you
about what they've done, then that person is not somebody
you should be with anyway. So just take that into
consideration because when you are dealing with people, you never
know what may or may not happen. So like I said,

(01:20:32):
I can break this down in so many different ways
of why fifty to fifty is important. But yes, marriage
should be fifty fifty because everything you do affects me
when we become one, that means everything I do affects
you and everything you do affects me. That is the
reason why it's fifty fifty. And it's all about working
together to build something and both of us being on

(01:20:52):
the same page, both of us being driven, both of us,
you know, running this family like a hot oil machine, y'all,
making sure everything is good. So that's why fifty to
fifty is so important. It's not about who. It doesn't
matter who runs the family. The point is it's gonna
be one person, whether it's male or female, it's gonna

(01:21:14):
be able to run the family and run it the
way it's supposed to be. But again, will great power
come great responsibility if you're gonna take their leadership to understand,
you can't feed into temptation because temptation will basically destroy
the family. The seven deadly sins will destroy the family.
So at the end of the day, that's why it's
important to understand that you cannot put everybody in office

(01:21:36):
just because they're a male. We've seen throughout history the
greatest empire is being destroyed by woman, destroyed by woman.
I don't know one empire that was not destroyed by woman,
except I think Hitler. Hitler did not let a woman
destroy his empire. But other than that, for the most part,

(01:21:58):
most men far as throughout history lost their empires because
of women, and it was started because of women. So
at the end of the day, I'm trying to understand
how in the world men think they can lead when
throughout history men have led us to the gods send ground.
I'm trying to understand how men can lead when women
have set up here and got y'all to go against

(01:22:19):
everything that is right. Y'all still going through that, Adam
and the evening, y'all still letting these women convince y'all
to eat the forbidden fruit. Keep on messing with a
forbidding fruit, Keep on messing with these women that are
gonna have y'all going down the forbidding fruit. This is
why fifty to fifty is important, because whatever choice, decision,
action in your behavior affects me because I'm with you.

(01:22:40):
And a good example of this would be I'm out
in bout with you and they're bullets somebody trying to
shoot you. Guess what, I get shot. I lose my
life because of year. That's why it's fifty fifty, Because
fifty fifty is I'm gonna take me. I'm not going
down with you. I'm not going down with a sinking ship,
which is gonna be my next next video I'm gonna
do is about a sinking shift and why a lot

(01:23:02):
of people are on sinking shifts, and y'all needna leave
them sinking ships alone, because these negative people gonna have
y'all in jail. Drugs, alcohol, codependency, sex addicted. Y'all gonna
go through so much because of these negative plas. Because
if anybody asks you to do anything negative, that person
don't care about you in the first place. Anybody that

(01:23:22):
that does things behind your back and then come in
before your face time about they started. No, you were,
You weren't sorry because you were. If you really were sorry,
Number one, you would have thought about a consequence and
repercause of you're doing it. Number two, you would have
thought about how it affects me and your family by
you cheating. No, none of this stuff goes through your head.
None of this stuff goes through your head when you're
not around me, because it seemed like the person I

(01:23:45):
know is a lot the person that you are when
you're around everybody else seems to be who you are.
And that's why it's fifty fifty because I would rather
it be that way than a man taking care of
me and he out there cheating domestic violence. I'm sorry.
I am a fifty to fifty person. I am not
ever gonna be a sixty forty, seventy, thirty, eighty twenty

(01:24:08):
or ninety ten. It is fifty fifty. It is one
hundred percent of an effort, and fifty to fifty on
everything else. It is fifty to fifty on the bills.
It is fifty fifty when coming these kids. It is
fifty fifty when it come to grocery shopping. It's fifty
to fifty when it comes to everything, including when you
walk out that door. Because when you walk out the door,

(01:24:30):
you represent me, and when I walk up the door,
I represent you. And who I hang around with and
who I associate with, associate with negatively or positively will
impact you. Because these negative people make me go against
you will be like me. Going against God. That part.
That's why I say it. If God is covering your marriage,

(01:24:51):
there is nothing you're gonna do that's negative. You're not
cheating on your wife. You made vowels to death. Door's part.
You made vowels the love on a cherish and sickness
and health for seeking all others doing only on to
that part, that part right there, for saking all others,
meaning that none of these people, including your family, should
be in your business. And it should not be you

(01:25:12):
putting your hands on your wife. It should not be
none of that. You are marrying a person mentally. You
are marrying a person's choices, behaviors, actions, and decisions. That
is who you're marrying. You are marrying that person internally,
you are marrying their trauma, their past. You are marrying

(01:25:32):
the person that got issues and everything that comes with them. Mentally,
that is who you're marrying. So if you don't learn
to be friends first and watch how they are with
other people, even watch how they are when they date
other people, do you want to know why I talk
somebody that right now that we just gonna be friends,
because I'm gonna sit back and watch how he is

(01:25:54):
with other women. That's why, because I am not being
a little natcha anybody Kwai Blameeberry. I'm just not So
the end, the y'all gonna stop being notaxius on these
men's belts and start being their friends first and being
platonic with them, because then you get to see how
they are. Because people are more calmer and more themselves

(01:26:17):
when you're friends with them versus being someone romantically, because
they just go put on the god second front. A
person is your friend, you gonna see them in every way.
You go see them naked, you go see them how
they hair, You get to see them in every aspect.
You not gonna see them in every aspect when you
are dating someone. That's why I said dating does not work.
When you meet somebody, you don't know how this person

(01:26:38):
is gonna fit into your life. Let it be organic,
Let it happen organically. But get to know this person
without sex. Get to know the person without having sex
with that person. Trust I've done this last person. I
know I was friends with this person first at the

(01:26:59):
end of the day, so I've seen every single aspect
of this individual. So I've seen the good and I've
seen the bad. So then I can decide if I
want to take it there. And that's the whole point.
When you're friends with somebody and you marry your best friend,
like Tamraman said, you marry your best friend. You don't

(01:27:20):
marry somebody that just because they're cute and they got
money and they're good and dead, that does not mean
internally they're not gonna be your enemy. They're not gonna
be your monster. Sometimes your enemy can be the person
that's in your household, the person you laying next to,
can be your greatest enemy and your greatest person that
will destroy you in the same swoop. The same man

(01:27:42):
that say, okay, I want to provide it are the
same ones they will just run and put their hands
on you. The same ones they will sit there and verbally, emotionally,
and psychologically abuse you. The ones that will make you
go against everything you stand for just to be with them,
The ones that's gonna have you sitting in jail. Man's
a lot of fears out here that are sitting in
jail hooked on drugs, broke, lost thousands of pons, thousands

(01:28:06):
of dollars, got kicked out their home, and raising a
child by themselves, by the man who said he would
provide and protect, the man who said that he loved her,
the man that said he would never hurt her and
would never do to her what her exes did. So
for these men out here, please stop talking at this point,

(01:28:27):
because y'all haven't even touched these issues. You ain't touched
on the past. Men that hurt this girl ain't got
nothing to do with being Pokey's and ray Race CAUs
it starts in elementary school. Dear, a girl's getting pregnant
in elementary school. So we have a problem here, and
it is not women. It is men, y'all the one

(01:28:50):
TV little boys to go out there and have sex
and being irresponsible and putting their pens and everything they
put their hands in. Y'all the ones sitting there there
that laugh about the dudes that the virgins and the
dudes not having sex like that. And for you ladies,
if this man get all these women that want him,
you shouldn't want him because point blam, barry. Why would
I want a man that everybody else won't. I don't

(01:29:11):
want a man that everybody else won't. I want a
man that's only onto me. And instead of going to
look for man, Let God bring the man, or whatever
your religion is, let whatever your relationship is, the higher
Power leads you. Let the higher Power be your hood.
Point by let the higher Power be your hood. So
I'm gonna end this by saying this, stop trying to

(01:29:33):
sit there tomorrow. I want to be taking care of
Take care of yourself, love yourself. Stop doing all this
stuff based upon society. Stop being a part of society
that doesn't work. It don't work. And for those of
us who are intoverse, we have come to this realization.
For those of us who are on the blue pill,
we want nothing to do with the red pill at all,

(01:29:57):
because the blue pill is peace, quiet and tranquility. We've
been there and we don't being down the red pill.
We don't want no parts of it. Introverts. Introverts are
good with a small group of people. We goog with it.
We don't walk up to nobody, we don't introduce ourselves,
none of that. Whatever is meant for us, it's meant
for us. We go out in the world. We go

(01:30:17):
out there and then come back home white black period.
That's why a lot of us sitting at home for
New Years and probably gonna be sleep through New Years
because I certainly planned to because they have jet lit.
I mean, I was supposed to go to Charlotte and
I didn't go because I ended up getting my ticket
for yesterday. But guess what I'd have been in Charlotte.
But does it mean that maybe, just maybe it wasn't

(01:30:39):
a good thing I didn't go For next year, I
probably will go somewhere. So at the end of the day,
like I said, I'm not doing the crowd thing no more.
I'm not. I don't want to do with it. I
won't just if me and my husband we just sit
home cut I mean just with the kids, come up,
put some drums on and just sit there and have

(01:30:59):
a nice her and watch movies to twelve o'clock and
then have sex and sleep Berver, Berver New Year's at
the end of the day. But I am single, not
because I want to be single. I am single because
men don't want me. And I've accepted that and I
lived with it. Not everybody's gonna get married. There will
be people that will be alone. There will be people

(01:31:21):
that will not be chosen, and that is just the reality.
Stop lying the people, Stop lying the people saying everybody
got a chance of being relationships. That's not true because
society is never gonna allow that. And that is just
the way it is. Men have preferences, they want what
they want, and they're either gonna use you to get
their preference or you just gonna be a sea filler.

(01:31:45):
I'm sorry. I ain't trying to upgrade no man, no more.
I'm not trying to upgrade nobody but myself because bottom lines,
I came in this world by myself. I got two
people that are obligator to take care of me, my
Mama and my A man is just the addition to me.

(01:32:05):
And if I make more money than him, then I'm sorry.
I run the household. If I am more responsible than him,
I run the household. I am not letting no man
run the household. And you run around with a bunch
of dudes that are gonna have you out here, dad somewhere,
and I have to sit there and bury you. And
I have no burial insurance. You have no insurance, and
I'm responsible for everything to come with you. I'm not

(01:32:28):
doing it. I'm not going in debt for you. I'm sorry.
I'm just not. And that's why it is fifty to
fifty because I'm gonna make sure you have your stuff
in order, because at the end of day, there has
to be one person that has to step up, and
it may have to be a woman. So when it

(01:32:49):
comes to marriage, it does not matter whether it's a
man or woman. It is the person that is the
most responsible, the person that's gonna make sure everything runs
the way it's supposed to run. And you are not
gonna be out here cheating on me because at the
bottom line, your stuff gonna be sitting running her house.
It ain't gonna be no conversation. I'm kicking you out

(01:33:09):
because I am not gonna sit up there and have
nobody doing anything to my child. That's why I did
not bring a lot of men around my child. I
had two men that I lived with. My baby daddy
and my eggs are seven years. I was with both
of those men for seven years. So at the end
of the day, I am forty nine years old. I
don't need a step father. At this point, I am

(01:33:30):
forty nine years old, I don't really need a husband.
I need a partner. So I don't need a husband.
I need a partner because I'm on my adult relationships.
I don't want a child. I don't want a parent
child dynamic. I want a partner. I want a fifty
fifty partner, the same way in business, we do things together.

(01:33:55):
We build this together. So no, I don't want a husband.
I already got one. I got my baby daddy. That's
my husband. I got a child by him. So I understand.
If I don't have a kid by you, you are
not my husband. You're just my partner, even though I
am married to you. Only have one husband, the man
I have a child by, and that's because we're gonna

(01:34:16):
be connect to the rest of our lives. So there's
only one husband that I got. Some of y'all, y'all
got a couple of husbands running around him because y'all
got multiple kids by multiple baby daddis. So yeah, you
got a lot of husbands running around him. Me only
have one. I have a husband and I have a partner.

(01:34:37):
So I have a spiritual husband which is the father
of my child. And I have a husband that i'm
married to that we don't have kids by. That we
are only married. And it ain't only because in the
eyes of God, God is not gonna recognize me him
because he's not I have no children but him. That
piece of paper means nothing in the eyes of God.
It is who you have a child by. That is
how God gonna look at it. You don't believe me,

(01:34:58):
go look in the Bible. The Bible does not acknowledge
a marriage based upon that she the paper. He basically
terms a marriage based upon if you have children together.
That's why it went from husband and wife to mommy
and daddy. Do you not pay attention? You two are
husband and wife. They you're mommy and daddy. So because

(01:35:19):
me and my baby daddy are mommy and daddy, guess
who we're married to. We're married to my son. So
at the end of the day, we will always be
married to him. So we're not married to each other.
We're married to our kid. That's why he's my spiritual husband,
because that man is the one I got kids with. Now,
when it comes siding version of it, the guy I'm
married to is a man I'm married to in the

(01:35:40):
eyes of man. But in the eyes of God, that
man is my husband. Why because I'm mom and he's dad.
You can't divorce that. You can't divorce your parents, my man,
you can you can't do an emancipation. But in the
eyes of God, no, you cannot your parents and you
can divorce your kids. Those are your kids at the

(01:36:03):
end of the day. So even if a woman raises
another man's child, that is still not her child. Technically
that is only one woman's child, the woman they gave
birth to that child. But that's why you have what's
called a village. So, yes, there are women that cannot
have children, and they will raise another person's child, or

(01:36:27):
they will have a surrogant, you know, have the baby.
But technically that surrogant is the actually the parent unless
they're using their own eggs and she's just hosting the baby,
but they have to use her eggs and that is
her baby. That's why anytime a person can come back
and get their child at any time, that's why they
make you sign papers saying that you're not gonna come

(01:36:49):
back and get the child. So that's why it's like it.
But it does not mean that child it's not gonna
want to know who their parent is, and doesn't mean
if anything happens to that child, you're not gonna know
that their medical records that y'all needs to know their
parent because they need to know the medical records this case,
they have a rare disease or a rare blood tight
or something of that nature. So at the end of
the day, I want people to understand it is fifty

(01:37:11):
to fifty because I am not gonna be one hundred
percent affected by your choices, your actions, your decisions, and
your behavior. Welcome to a life coach, ladies and gentlemen.
A life coach is not gonna tell you what you
want to hear. A life coach is not gonna be
su about. A life coach is not gonna sit here
and tell you that you're gonna have a man. No,
your life coach is gonna be real with you out

(01:37:31):
there in society, You're not gonna have a man. And
that's just being real. If you're unattractive, if your average,
if you have a disability, you more than likely will
not have a man. I'm just gonna be real with you.
You're not gonna have the man that you actually want Physically.
You're not gonna have the man that may be successful
because he's not gonna be attracted to you. You're gonna
have to go about getting a man a whole different way.

(01:37:52):
You're gonna have to go to friendship role. You're gonna
have to be his friend to get him. You're not
gonna be able to get him based upon these beautiful women.
And that is something I've learned. I've learned more so
to be in a friend zone than to be the
girl that is the one he's dating, far as Jesse,
because it doesn't last. Friendships can last a lifetime, but

(01:38:14):
being with a man romantically it never lasts. But marrying
your best friend it does last because the respect that
you have for your best friend when y'all were friends
will continue to happen when you're in a relationship because
you're never gonna want to hurt your best friend in
that way. Y'all have them been through entirely too much together,

(01:38:36):
and that person know you better than anybody. So when
you have a woman that is your best friend, that
has seen you with other women and seen how you
are with other women, he's not gonna do her the
way he would do a woman that he's just attracted to.
He's not gonna cheat on her because number one, that
is his best friend. Number two, he knows he's seen everything.

(01:38:56):
He's seen her flaws and perfections, He's seen it all.
So he knows that she loves him in a genuine
way and she gonna be there when all these other
women coming up. So that's just the bottom line of it.
So again, there are some women that can get a
man just by walking into a room. Others of you,

(01:39:17):
that's not the case. You're gonna bet a man based
upon conversation. You're gonna be a man based upon being
his friend. But you do not want to be the
person that's building him because you're just gonna build ingm
for somebody else. So it's important that you have a
fifty to fifty relationship because as someone that did not
have that, I am telling you for someone that never

(01:39:37):
had a man take me to dinner or never take
me out except twice in my life. Well actually yeah
twice and one didn't happen, but he did bring me flowers.
But my point is I wasn't a girl that got
to go out to dinner. I wasn't the one that
on Valentine's they got gives and matter of fact, my
exes got me everything except what I wanted. So at
the end of the day, you're giving a man a

(01:39:59):
roof over his head and a car to drive that
don't mean he's not gonna cheat on you. You can
give a man the world and is still cheat. You
can be the best woman in the world and he's
still cheat because men don't know when enough is enough,
and they can't stop feeding too the seven deadly sins
and not understanding that that beauty and manipulation lead to

(01:40:20):
seven daly cents. Anything that is glitter is not gold.
And if you've never heard the story of King Midas,
then you will not have any clue what I'm talking about.
Because King Midas could turn everything into gold because he
saved the witch. And when he turned his family into
gold and the whole castle was nothing there, he was miserable.

(01:40:42):
So even though he had the ability to turn everything
into gold, he still was miserable because of the fact
that he ended up in a situation where there was
nobody there. And that's how men are, That's how men
are gonna be. Like a lot of these nurses talk
about how a lot of these men are alone. They
have no family, they have no friends, nobody in these

(01:41:02):
hostile places. Women more so have people than men do.
So that just goes to show that going and messing
with a younger girl, why are you messing with somebody
twice your age? That just shows it. I'm still thinking
love of yoga autism. I have a son of autism,
and some of y'all, I really believe have autism don't
even know you have it because the fact that you're
going to somebody twice your age. I'll give you example. Christmas,

(01:41:26):
we were my son was there and the kids were
back there, and we had to pull him out because
my son has mound of a child, which is normal.
He says, he grown man, but he still has a
mind in certain aspects of a child. So he wanted
to go back there and play with them. I said, well, no, no,
he can't play with them because they're kids. He didn't
even he didn't like it, but he had no choice.

(01:41:47):
But some of y'all do the same thing when it
comes to date these young girls. Y'all molested the sixteen
year olds, messing with these fourteen year olds. You talking
about a nineteen year old day and a fifteen year old,
and y'all want to charge that toy rape, but you
won't do with a eighteen with a forty seven year
old man dating a god saying twenty one year old
girl I don't care if she's grown or not. She

(01:42:09):
has no experience, has not seen the world, hasn't experienced
the world, and you're being selfish. Let me say this,
and I'm saying for what it is. I don't care
who get mad for those of y'all who are doing this.
You are destroying the younger generation. Y'all are so jealous
and envious of the younger generation because you screwed your
life up, so now you want to screw theirs. But

(01:42:31):
it is all y'all doing. You are screwing you this
younger generation because y'all want to sit up here and
destroy their lives. The fact that you're taking away all
these books, the fact that y'all are sitting up here
going out with your kids, messing with their boyfriends, their
girlfriend something wrong, y'all. I'm an elder, and I'm proud

(01:42:54):
to be an elder. I am not messing with the
younger generation. I want the younger generation to be better
than what we are. I want these girls to not
have babies. I don't want these young girls dating these
older men. I don't I want these girls to be virgins.
I want these girls to save themselves to marriage. I
want the Cotillion dances to come back. I want the
father daughter dance to come back. I want men to

(01:43:17):
be involved in their daughter's lives. It is time for
men to step up and be a part of your
son and your daughter's lives. Because you are letting other children.
You're letting a man that moves in with your baby
mama influence your child. Do you know how hard it
is to tell your son that his father had moved

(01:43:38):
on and had a whole nother baby. Do you know
the jealousy that come from that, the fact that he
feels like he's not wanted, Because every time you go
over there is more about each other child than it
is by him or her. Y'all have no idea to
damage you do to your kids because y'all did not
live your life. Didn't I tell y'all to get pregnant.

(01:44:01):
Didn't nobody tell you to stick your pin in a
woman and get her pregnant. But this is what we're
dealing with. We're dealing with this because of the irresponsibility
of the high school nonsense, because y'all ain't grown up,
because you want to be toys r us kids. You
want to sit there and blame everybody else except the
maryor you want to bring everybody else in your drama.

(01:44:22):
So if they if you go down there, going down
with how selfish is that? How selfish is that? Y'all
don't want to take accountability for nothing. You want to
make all these excuses why you did what you did.
You don't want to stand on what you did and
take what come with ah. You want to bring everybody
else down with, including these children. It is sad when

(01:44:44):
I see young girls being unlived because it was someone
else that's doing something negative that they're impacted by. And
that is the problem. If we have to teach our
kids to stay away from negativity, even when it comes

(01:45:05):
to ourselves, we have got to do better. It should
not be where our children are transgender. It should not
be where our children are questioning their sexuality. It should
not be whether the peer pressured or anything else in
this world. They should be proud of the bodies that

(01:45:26):
they're in. I'm not saying you can't love who you
want to love, but the fact of changing your whole
entire body in order to be something that you were
not born with is a complete and other problem. I
am not against nobody being gay, I have no problems
with it at all. That is your preference, that's what
you choose to do. But at the end of the day,

(01:45:47):
it has not come because somebody is born gay. I
wish you would stop that. That is not why. It's
because of trauma. It's because of the thirteen things I
said earlier. People are just trying to figure out who
they are, and people are now feeling what makes them comfortable,
and there's nothing wrong with that. So as a life coach,

(01:46:09):
this is the difference between me and these other people
because I can basically pull up all this stuff and
show you bet and I can tell you. But let
me hold on before I go. Let me find something
on Google to prove my point about something beauty when

(01:46:31):
it comes to the Bible versus Okay, give me one second.
I need to click on it. All right. I'm gonna
share my screen right right quick, just to show y'all
that I know of what I speak. Give me a minute. Sorry,
this video so long because I'm gonna be going for

(01:46:52):
a little while. My throat is starting hurt, so I'm
taking a break, all right. Let me show y'all this
right quick. Make sure okay, Okay, So it is okay,
all right, let me go down a little bit. This
is Bible verse is about beauty, and this is what

(01:47:14):
they say the same beauty is in the eye of
the beholder. Goes to say that defining beauty can be tough. However,
God's word leads us to discover what our individual meaning
of beauty truly is and should be. That is deferred

(01:47:35):
from looking at the physical appearance. For God is at
the heart of all people and things. Use the Bible
verse to find real beauty for yourself and others and
what surrounds us. Now, these are twelve different things that

(01:47:56):
God said in the Bible about beauty. You need to
not come from outward adornments such as elaborate hairstyles, wearing
wearings of gold, jewelry, or fine clothes. Money looks at
that into it. Rather, it should be that your inner self,

(01:48:18):
the unfading beauty of a gentle, quiet spirit, which is
great worth in God's sight. So God cares nothing about
what you look like externally. God cares nothing about what
you got far as your possessions and money. God don't
care about nothing that's external. God cares about the internal.

(01:48:42):
That's what God cares about. Corinthians ten, Christians two Corinthias
four sixteen. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outward
we are wasting away, yet inward we are being renewed
day by ti. I agree, because at the end of
the day, every day, internally, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, you

(01:49:09):
are growing as a person, but your physical is wasting away.
That's true, you are getting older. I can never pronounce that,
but this is what it says. For we are God's
handiwork created by creating Jesus Christ to do works which

(01:49:32):
God prepared in advance for us to do. So. In
other words, there are a lot of people that are
doing the work that Jesus came on this world to do.
There are prophets out here that are genuinely helping people
and bringing people back to God who are lost souls

(01:49:54):
Genesis one, twenty seven. So God created mankind in his
own inmim image and in the image of God. He
has created them, male and female. He created them. And
it is as Isaiah forty eight, grass withers and flowers fall,

(01:50:14):
but the word of our God endures forever. So what
that means is no matter what happens, as far as
the world internally will always live forever, because time is
going to continue to move even if you stay, even
if you decide to stand still, and says Philippines four eight. Finally,

(01:50:39):
brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever
is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admired,
if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things. Now,
none of them says anything about what man thinks. That
beauty is nothing. Next one, it said Psalms one thirty

(01:51:03):
nine fourteen. Praise you because I am fearful and wonderfully made.
Your works are wonderful. I know that full wealth. So
basically what that means is you are fearfully and wonderfully made.
So in other words, you're a great person. But we

(01:51:26):
have fears, in other words, insecurities. And so between confidence
and insecurities we have both. The mind governed by the
flesh is death. The mind governed by the spirit is
life and peace. I agree with that, because when you
base everything on the flesh, you base things on society standards,

(01:51:49):
you base things based upon man. It is the flesh
is death. But if you govern, if your mind is
governed by the spirit aka God's way, then you will
have a life of piece and tranquility, songs of songs
for seven you are all together beautiful, my darling. There
are no flaws in you. So, in other words, if

(01:52:12):
you're a spiritual person, then regardless of how imperfected you
are externally, internally, you are a beautiful person. So even
though you may not have everything that everybody else has
that is of the flesh, and doing everything based upon
the seven DeBie sins and all this other stuff, does

(01:52:34):
not mean you're not beautiful. You're just beautiful in a
way that's non society standards, which means you're not supposed
to be a part of the world anyway. And that's
all that means. So anyone that's unattractive, anyone to get
flaws and imperfections. You're not supposed to be a part
of the world anyway. You're supposed to be a god anyway.
God did not make you the way the devil makes

(01:52:56):
his people, it says Matthew six eight twenty nine. And
why do you worry about clothes? See how flowers of
the field grow. They do not labor or spend. So
in other words, why are y'all worried about all these
labels as far as closed. They have all these labels

(01:53:17):
on them, it says in twenty nine it says, yet
I tell you that not Solomon, in all of his splendor,
was dressed like one of these. So, in other words,
a person again that is wealthy, is not dressing the
way people think they dress that are the lower class.

(01:53:38):
All this Vasachi, Gucci, all this stuff, I don't wear
it because again of this particular scripture that you're worried
about clothes. And it says how the flowers in the
field grow, and then that they do not labor or spin. So,
in other words, why are we sitting here working for

(01:53:59):
stuff to spend on that we really don't even need
in the first place. And then it says one Timothy's
two nine and ten. I also want the women to
dress modestly, with decent and propriorly a dominant themselves, not

(01:54:20):
with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes,
but with good deeds and appropriate for women who possess
and worship. I agree with this. So all these women
out here doing this plastic surgery, we're in makeup. All
these women were in the fake hair honey, that is

(01:54:40):
not what God wants y'all to do. God wants y'all
to be modest and decent, and and not pronounced that
property properly, properly tired. I cannot pronounce that, and I
ain't gonna dry and adoring themselves. In other words, it's
about good deeds versus dressing like your harlots. Boy, I'm

(01:55:06):
gonna get to that. I'm gonna get into succubists and
incubus next time. Samuel won Samuel sixteen. But the Lord
said to Samuel, do not consider his appearance or his height,
for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look
at things. People look at People look at the outward appearance.

(01:55:29):
But the Lord looks at the heart. So a main
that is of God is never gonna look at a
woman based on what she looked like. He gonna base
her based on what her heart is, her spirit, her mind,
and the way she thinks, her psychological things of that nature.
And let's see Ecclesias three eleven. He has made everything beautiful.

(01:55:57):
It's time He has set internal in human heart. Yet
no one can fathom what God has done from the
beginning to end. And that is true. Moving silence Glackens three,
twenty six, twenty seven. So Jesus Christ, you are all

(01:56:20):
children of God through faith. For all of you who
were baptized into Christ have clothed yourself with Christ. And
then it says Proverbs fifteen to eighteen, she is more
precious than rubies. Nothing you desire can compare with her.

(01:56:42):
Long life in her right hand, in her left hand
are riches in honor. Her ways are pleasant ways, and
all her pasts are peace. She is a tree tree
of life, and those who take hold of her, those
who her fast, will be blessed. So again, y'all are

(01:57:04):
looking at things so good if a second wrong. So
all of these scriptures here, and I'm not going to
read all of them, but these scriptures pretty much tell
you that it's not about what someone looks like externally,
but who they are internally. But I read this one,
and it's the last one I read. Your heart becomes pound,

(01:57:26):
your heart becomes proud on the account of your beauty,
and you corrupt your wisdom because of your splendor. So
I threw you to the earth, and I made you
spectacular of you before King, by you, by your many
sins and dishonest trade. You have decreased your sanctuaries. So

(01:57:51):
I've made a fire that comes out of out from you,
and it consumes you, and I reduce you to ashes
on the ground in the sight of all who were watching.
So I need people to pay attention to this in particular.
So your heart became proud in the account of your beauty,

(01:58:16):
and you corrupt your wisdom because of your splendor. So
I threw you to the earth, and I made you
spectacular of you before the king. So I need people
to understand this means two different things. So when you
use your bit your beauty based upon getting what you
want in a negative manner, you are a succubist or incubist.

(01:58:39):
But I'll get into that a little bit later. It says,
by your sins and dishonesty trade, you have desecrated your sanctuary,
and I have made a fire that comes from you
and consumes you, and I reduce you to ashes on
the ground in the sight where all was watching. Salom

(01:59:03):
and Gamore, Solomon Gamore. So all this stuff that's happening
right now is not something that's random. This is because
God does not like the way that man has been
running the world, and I don't think too many people
are gonna be spared if you like me to very real.
So this is where I got that from. When you
talk about beauty, I got it from that. So that

(01:59:27):
is the reason why I, like I said, wanted to
show you. I can show you, but I can tell you.
God never said you should base your beauty based on internally.
It should I mean externally. It should always be based
on internally. So that being said, I think I'm gonna
leave it there, but I will go more into this,

(01:59:47):
more in depth and breaking it down in sections. But
I just wanted to just give you a rough draft
of what fifty to fifty is. And it wasn't something
I could do in a short video I wish I
got I could have, but I'm gonna get maybe some eat.
I'm going to make some I guess some taco bell
and some soup. So I'm gonna make that and then
I'm going to channel my bed and enjoy because tomorrow

(02:00:10):
I gotta wash clothes and I have some cleaning. I
got to do. Somebody do some cleaning tonight before I
go to bed. But we shall see. So every said,
I want to thank you guys, for joining me for
this episode. For those of y'all that came in, don't
forget they hit the light subscribing notification button to receiving
notifications of my videos. Like I said, this is not
something I'm saying to people that are golly people, because

(02:00:30):
if you're golly people, then this doesn't apply to you.
But if you are someone that's negative, this definitely applies
to you. So any of y'all that basically come at
me in a negative way about this, then that means
you are demonic because at the end of the day,
a lot of y'all did not read your Bibles. So
with that being said, since it's Sunday, I want to
go spirraal to today. So I love y'all. I appreciate y'all.

(02:00:51):
Without y'all, there is no me. I be nothing without y'all.
I don't know how long I'll be gone because right
now I'm having to throw issues. So even during this
was kind of difficult, but I wanted to do it
because I don't know how long I'll be gone as
far as doing any lives, but I will try to
post some stuff you know that y'all know I'm still here.
But as soon as they do my procedure for my throat,

(02:01:12):
then hopefully I'll be back to normal because it's affecting everything,
and the one thing about the throid, it can affect everything,
and lip nooise can also affect everything. And there's a
swollen thing on this side. So that's why I haven't
been here. So I wanted to do this video to
give y'all something that y'all could look at until I return.
So when I turn my return, I have everything done

(02:01:33):
as far as my life, coaching stuff down body. So
that being said, I love you guys. I appreciate y'all.
Without y'all, there is no me. I'll be nothing without y'all.
So I'm out of here. I will see you guys later.
Don't forget to hit the license grabing notification button to
receive dedications on videos. And I will see y'all when
my throat is a lot better. But I will keep

(02:01:54):
y'all informed every week on my journey because I'm gonna
be documenting my journey with this thing. So I will
talk to ya later. Bye. Oh, Happy New Year for
those of y'all, So just because I don't talk to
y'all tomorrow, Happy New year Bye, yeah m

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Episode 18- The reason why marriage should be 50-50.

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