March 18, 2025 • 56 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to African Melanan Queens. I'm your host, God is Ashamarama.
Thank you guys for joining me for this episode. If
you guys like the commentary, please go to spriaker dot
com forward slash African Melanan Queens. If you guys like
the commentary and you want to hear more, please go
(00:21):
to my name A s h A dot m A
r I A m A and you'll hear all my podcasts.
If you want to be a guest on my podcast
and you want to basically have one on one coaching,
If you want to send me letters about things that
(00:41):
you're currently dealing with, please email me at A s
h A dot m A r I A m A
and you I'm sorry A s h dot m A
r I A m A zero one at gmail dot com.
That's a s h A dot m ama zero one
(01:03):
at gmail dot com. A little about me. I am
a certified recovery life coach as well as a healing
coach and a mental health practitioner. That's all about helping
people on their paths, their journeys and their purpose to
a new embitter you through self discovery. I'm all about
helping people to when it comes to African American women,
(01:26):
women that are of all African descent when it comes
to showing you your worth and your value and that
we are queens despite all of the things that we
have been through as African descent and African people and
Black women, because you know, everybody has their preference. I
(01:50):
want to first say, I know it's been a minute
since I've been on here, but it's been something where
I had to really take a step back and I
had some medical issues that I was dealing with. Plus
I was trying to figure out what direction I wanted
to go with this particular podcast, and I figured that
(02:11):
I would go in the direction of uplifting black African descent,
African Americans and African women to being the queens that
you are and where in your crowns with pride. It's
too many of us that are feeding into the harlot,
(02:31):
the succubists, the Jezebels, and the promiscuous type of behavior
that doesn't do us any good as Black women. As
Black women, we should be dignified, very well educated, very
well spoken. We should be business women. We should be
(02:55):
also of mother nature and basically building ourselves for being
the queens of our castles. Now, I know for a
lot of women, you've been taught to go and have
a husband and get married and have a family. And
I know that a lot of Black women are really
(03:19):
finding it hard to find a partner that is all
about death to us part or finding a man that
is in our community that's going to want to be
with us instead of just being single mothers. Are we
the highest rate when it comes to single mothers, Absolutely
(03:40):
we are. And the sad part about it is with
the lowest when it comes to marriage and when it
comes to relationships. And I want that to change. But
we as Black women have to change, and we have
to grow, and we have to elevate and evolve as
(04:01):
Black women. We can't try to be what every other
race is because that's not who we are. We can't
be promiscuous, we can't be doing the things we're doing
because we're looked at in a different way. I think
that Black women need to set the standard when it
comes to being a woman. There's no one else like us,
(04:27):
dumb and wrong. There are a lot of other races
that have been through just as much, if not worse
than we have. So I don't even want to say
that no other race of women have been through anything,
because you have Muslim women that are not allowed to vote,
They're not allowed to choose, they're not allowed to do
any of that. You have young girls in India that
(04:50):
are forced to marry men twice their age. You have
a lot of people that are in tribal that are
in the same scenario when it comes to not being
able to choose their husbands. You have people from India
who young girls cut their hair, Hi who cut their
hair for religious purposes and you're wearing it. Black women,
(05:15):
we have to become in individuals, so to speak, and
we have to become queens, and we have to represent
ourselves as queens, not harlets, not succubists, and not Jezebels.
A lot of y'all are in this succubists. Whereas about
having babies and thinking that's going to secure the bag.
(05:38):
There are a lot of Black women that have built
a lot of black men and you are now single
raising kids by yourself. There are a lot of Black
women that before the age of twenty one had their
first child. There are a lot of Black women that
when they were younger were being peer pressured by boys
to have sex before age twenty one. So let me
(06:03):
break something down to black men. It's funny how y'all
want black women to be all of these things. But
yet and still you're not godly men, and you're not
men of God, and you don't lead because in the
Bible it does state that you are never supposed to
(06:24):
lower your wife. You're never supposed to make her feel
less than what she is. You are supposed to respect
her feelings. And yet and still you don't. A lot
of y'all can't even be in a room with a
bunch of naked women without wanting to sleep with them
(06:44):
behind your wife's back, behind your girl's back. The majority
of y'all don't even want to marry a black woman,
and you can't even really give a good reason why.
But let me be in the defense of blade, do
we really have to go back to slavery and and
(07:06):
the essay assault that black women suffered in the hands
of our oppressor, and how y'all sat there and did nothing.
Do we need to talk about all of the things
that black women have had to endure sexually, as far
as abuse and that we didn't have, we weren't able
(07:27):
to have sex because of our choice, but we had
to produce babies. How many of us were ripped from
our husbands and our children, not only in Africa, but
when we got here. Do you not understand the trauma
that Black women have had to endure compared to other
race of women? And yet you don't understand why we
(07:51):
have attitudes and you don't understand our pain, and you
can't understand our promiscuality. Why Black women are promiscuous? Did
we have a choice when it came to having sex?
Did we have a choice about being an eleven year
old girl being married to an eighteen year old via
(08:13):
a tribal So when have Black women ever had a
choice when it came to our sexuality? When had we
ever been able to have that choice? Black women have
been single mothers since Africa when there were wars between
Africans and Africans. Before the Spanish, the Portuguese, and the
(08:38):
Dutch came to Africa, they were already at war. Matter
of fact, the first gladiators came from Africa. That's where
Greece got the gladiators from in the first place. Africa.
You know how many African queens that Black women don't
know about that ran nations. There was one that had
(09:02):
a thousand women. She was the first one to build
the first gladiator stadium, which is now the football stadium
that you see today, came from a Black woman. Well,
African women that was a queen. There were plenty of
African queens that did not have a husband or whose
(09:23):
husband died. There were a million. There was plenty of
African mothers that basically ran a nation through their sons,
no differently than Egypt. So at the end of the day,
it's sad that Black women do not know that we
(09:46):
were queens, We ran nations. But that's not what black
men want you to know. They don't want you to
know that you ran nations. They don't want you to
know any of that at all. Because if black women
really knew the true power and the true worth that
you had, y'all wouldn't be promiscuous right about now. You
(10:10):
wouldn't be running around chasing behind men. If anything, you
would basically hold on to the value of what's between
your legs now, wouldn't you? Hm. It is sad that
we as black women do not know our worth. It
(10:33):
is it is bad that we are chasing behind men
that do not want us at all, and I do not,
for the life of men understand why black women are
the only ones that Black men don't take you to dinner.
They don't take you out to eat, but yet they
want to beat in between your legs. And when they
(10:54):
do go between your legs, they still want to make
it a transaction. They take you out for sex. We're
the only group that basically, essentially for the most part,
can be girlfriend and boyfriend, but never a wife. For
the vast majority of us, we're the only one that
the majority of our men are sitting in prison right now,
(11:15):
are dead, are gay and done wrong. I love my gays,
I love y'all I do. But what I want people
to understand this is not about bashing men. This is
about uplifting women to start being more modest. Stop giving
(11:40):
your bodies to men. Stop trying to make men be
attracted to you because of what you look like. Stop
trying to show everything. And all I hear out of
these girls' mouth is sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, That's
all I hear. Why are you doing this to yourself?
(12:03):
And then you wonder why these men look at you
the way they look at you, why they disrespect you
the way they disrespect you, and why they talk about
you the way they talk about you because you were
out here disrespecting yourselves. I am seeing so many beautiful
black women that are being dogged out by these black men,
(12:23):
and they're sitting up here with being single mothers, women
that's in their forties, that is being told as black
women that now you're not worthy or if you have children,
you shouldn't. Did a woman a single mother? She wouldn't
have been a single mother if before she turned twenty
one that little boy wasn't convincing her to not only
(12:45):
have sex with her, but to basically take off the condoms.
She wouldn't have been a single mother. If black men
would also be taught to be abstinate and to be
celibant and not having sex, I guess we wouldn't be
having these problems now, would we? Who wouldn't be having
these problems at all if it wasn't for that. Correct. So,
(13:09):
the fact that you got girls that are being taught
to be wives, but men are not being taught to
be husbands. They're taught to go out there and be
with as many women as they can, we have a
very serious problem a very serious problem that needs to
be addressed. How is it that young girls are either
(13:31):
being essayed or the N word by their mother's boyfriends.
You had young girls being peer pressured, not only by
young boys, but being preyed on by older men, young
girls that basically essentially are dating older men because they
need a daddy. I'm just trying to get some clarification here.
(13:54):
I just wish black women really knew their worth. I do.
I wish black women would understand you don't need to settle,
and sometimes you may have to go outside of your
race to find the love that you won't and the
men that are gonna treat you the way that you
deserve to be treated. At the end of the day,
(14:15):
the only one that's benefiting from y'all giving your body
to all these men are men. You are no different
than any of these women in the sex industry. You
are no different, and you are no better. The only
difference is you're giving it away for free, you're giving
it away for dinner, and you're giving it away for
(14:35):
a burking bag. So it's that easy for you to
give your body for a burking bag, And yet they
gotta pay these prostitutes and all these women in the
sex industry more money than a burking bag. Okay, And
at the end of the day, having these men ain't
even paying attention and don't even care what you do
(14:56):
in the bedroom anyway, because they don't care. Y'all keep
thinking you're doing something like these men care about how
you perform. They don't care. All they care about is
that you're making them feel good. And that's pretty much
about it. So when it comes to healing and the recovery,
when it come to black women, we're gonna have to
(15:19):
heal from everything that has happened to us since the beginning.
We gotta heal from all of the essays and the
ms that we went through throughout our whole entire existence.
We have to change the way we as women not
only represent ourselves, but stop being and having all these babies.
(15:45):
We gotta start holding these black men accountable because, like
I said, these men sit there and they lie, tell
you what you want to hear, and then get with you.
You build them, and then they leave you for a
woman that's not exactly the same race as you. Now
let me do it. Disclaimer, this has nothing to do
(16:07):
with disrespecting anybody of any other race, because y'all are
not the problem. The problem is. I am tired of
seeing black men blatantly disrespect black women on different platforms
every single chance they get. I am tired of the
way that black women are being represented based upon the
(16:29):
men that are telling them to go out here and
do this stuff in the first place. These men on
social media at like they are not men telling these
girls to go out there and talk about sex. You
think it's not the industry that's telling them to do this,
You really think that that's the case. That's like saying
that your mom, not only your daddy, but your mom
(16:49):
is telling you to go out there and be with
as many women as you can. And y'all want to
talk about the fact of you know of women, but
yet we don't talk about how your mamas are telling
y'all to go out there and be with as many
women as you can. Y'all don't have to be celibrated
at all. You ain't gotta save yourself or your wife,
(17:11):
But yet you want your wife to be pure. When
you get all of these young boys running around here
and lying to these young girls and then getting them pregnant,
and then abandoning them. But we don't want to talk
about the young girls that are virgins that are being
duped and manipulated into giving their bodies and then getting pregnant.
(17:35):
Do you not know the average female gets pregnant before
twenty one with her firstborn son in the black community
or daughter in the black community before twenty one the
vast majority. Why because these boys are taking off these
condoms and not telling these girls they're taking off these condoms.
(17:58):
So please don't play my face like y'all don't be
taking off condoms and not telling nobody, or they convinced
the girl that they pull out they're not gonna get pregnant.
We all know that's a lie, but these young girls
don't know no better. And the fact that we're at work,
we're not there to protect them. We're not there to
be able to make sure this stuff doesn't happen. These
(18:21):
girls are seeking sneaking these boys in the house, or
they're going to these parties and playing spending a bottle
and doctor and all this other payinghouse. We all know
what playing house means when we're kids, hide and go
get it all this other stuff. Back in the day,
you couldn't even watch anything with sex unless you had
(18:42):
a pass code. We need to go back to that. Seriously,
we need to go back to these past codes when
it comes to certain websites. That way, these girls can't
see certain things. But the fact that we ourselves are
still doing the same thing we don't want our daughters
to do as a problem. So if you want your
daughter to be abstinent, guess what you got to be
(19:03):
abstinent in yourself. You gotta be celibate yourself. You gotta
lead by example, because if you out here being celibateting,
then your daughter gonna be celibate. And you gotta make
sure you let your daughter know. Look, you don't need
to be out there going to the club and go
into all these places. Especially if she's a child that
(19:26):
is from the church. She don't need to be going
in them secular places. At the end of the day,
like I said, you're not supposed to be with a
non believer if you're a believer, bottom line. So I
get the fact that for a lot of you you
(19:47):
think that basically it's about dating somebody because of what
they look like and how much money they got. Well,
you wouldn't be thinking like that if you had your own,
If you had your own, you wouldn't even be thinking
about that man and how much money has. Let me
break down a reverse psychiatry thing. If a man walks
(20:08):
up to a woman and she's in a restaurant having
dinner or she's just out, and about the first thing
that man gonna think when she when he see that
purse that she bought, that some man bought it. So
let's just say you're at a restaurant and you're you're
(20:31):
eating and you're getting ready to walk out, and this
six this man that makes six figures walks up to
you while you're waiting for your car and asking can
he give you a ride? And you be like, no,
I'm good. And he said you must be here, You
must be here with your husband. Who said at a husband?
So he said, I take it to your man must
(20:51):
have bought you that purse. Who said, a man bought
me that purse. So the next thing, you know, both
of y'all cars pull up, and you got a better
looking car than he got. So now he's looking like,
wait a minute, So let me go back a little bit,
wind a little bit, so y'all are having a conversation
and this man is sitting there telling you I can
(21:11):
buy you this, I can do this for you, I
can do that for you. What makes you think I
need any of that? Really? To tell you the truth,
the only thing I want is a man to buy
me flowers on Monday so I can start my day off.
I don't need you to buy me anything because I
have my own money, So I really don't need you
for that. What else you got? Do? You know how
(21:33):
many men stumble because if you take away the money,
you take away their whole entire identity. So the whole
point of a woman having money is to take away
the money part that these men use against you. So
if you have your own money, what else do they have?
(21:56):
Do they can come up with? What else can they
say if you make more mone money than them. Nothing.
That's why they don't want a female that has money,
because then they have nothing else to offer. It ain't
about having a conversation with a woman. You've been massed,
you've been amzed. How many men really do not want
to having a conversation with you. It's all about them
(22:17):
talking and you listening. That's pretty much about it. That's
all they want to do. So if you by you
having money. The whole point is that man can't take
advantage of you. Whether he stay or go, You're gonna
be fine regardless, because if both of y'all got money
and you're evenly yoke, he can't get away with the
(22:37):
things that he could get away with somebody has less
than That's why a lot of these look look at
look at what's going on, Mary J. Blige. And the
fact that kenwt Ken you is trying to get more
money to take care of his family. I hope, pretty god,
they throw it out of the court. That girl had
to pay thirty five thousand dollars to that man because
he was less than women. You know, always the one
(23:01):
is always posed to lower themselves to build men up.
But a man will never build a woman. He will
keep her in bondage, keep her in lower vibrations, and
will use her looks too. Basically, get ahead, let me
(23:21):
explain to y'all how these men be playing. Y'all. They
use you as a beautiful woman and then turn around
and throw it in your face in the same swoop.
Let me give you an example. Most CEO jobs want
the man to be married. The presidency, governor's mayors. You
(23:46):
gotta be married. Why because it shows commitment, it shows loyalty,
it shows something as far as doing right by people allegedly,
But a person that's says and a man, there's no
(24:06):
loyalty there. So by having a woman, it gives them
better chances to get that promotion with a wife, so
they have a better chance of being able to get
that position. They need you because of jealousy. It's all
(24:28):
about pulling you. It's all about the fact that they
have one of the baddest women on their arm. It's
just like you have men that do contract marriages to
get a get their inheritance, and their mothers want them
to get married in order to get their inheritance. And
what do they do do a contract marriage. They'll get
(24:50):
a real pretty girl that looks good on their arm
based on society standards. And that's why they marry you.
They don't marry you because they love you. They marry
you because of the fact you fit the standard that's
gonna help them get indoors because all these men are
gonna be basically Google gogogging off of you. So the
(25:13):
fact that if you're a beautiful woman and you know
how to talk to these men. You're gonna be able
to pull the men quicker than a male can. So
if you get a woman that knows about business and
she's dropped there Gorgion, she can go in there and
talk them men out of anything. That's why when it
comes to sexual harassment at the workplace, you don't understand
(25:35):
why that is so. Again, yeah, they want a beautiful
woman sitting at their front desk. Why because of image,
Not because they love these women, but because of the
image of it all. But at the same time, it
also proves a point though, and the same swoop. Beauty
ain't better because some of y'all are some pretty some
(25:58):
pillow princesses, because y'all can't keep a man either. So
it don't matter whether a woman is unattractive or attractive,
you still can't keep a man. So if attractive women
can't keep a man, if attractive women in the black
community can't even keep a man, then you are no
better than a woman that is unattractive. So please stop
(26:20):
ask thinking that you're better than. And that's what Lizzo
is getting ready to find out. I'm proud that she
lost the weight, I am, but if you doing it
to fit society standards, because I am sitting here watching
how differently now people are treating her because she lost
the weight. I ain't never gonna forget how somebody treated
(26:45):
me before, when I was bigger, or when I went
through something. That's why I said, I always want to
have something to remember what I went through, because you're
not gonna be in my face after when I was.
When I was one way. You know what I'm saying,
You gonna treat me some. Treat me one way, but
then treat me another now that I lost the way
(27:07):
and I lost eleven pounds. But what's really funny to
me is Cardi B. Cardi B had everything going for
her until she let offset and knock her up and
she didn't go on that tour with Bruno Mars. I
know she is regretting that, but she let a man
(27:29):
stop her from an opportunity that she now got to
live with, and she's only put out one album. I
don't think Cardi gonna be able to make a comeback.
She ain't. It's too late. Her opportunity came and went.
If Carti would have kept that same hustle and said
I'm not trying to get pregnant and stood on that.
(27:50):
Cardi B would be a megastar right now. Cardi B's
time is coming to an end and she don't even
realize that. So she's got to figure out something else
to do because it's already showing us what she doing. So, yeah,
she should have put that album out. She should have
(28:13):
waited to She should have went ahead when Invasion Invasion
of Prophecy came out before Nicki came back, went ahead
and put that second album out. She let Niki punk her,
That's what she did. She let Nicki Minaj scare of
daylights out of her, cause every time Carti got ready
to put something out, Nicki Minaj would come out and
(28:35):
say something and it would make her, Like I said,
Carti being her feelings entirely too much. Carti is not
that it and that's why people don't believe see them.
Let me break down. It's bigger than her just putting
out music. That ain't what the issue is. The issue
is we have seen the way Carti has a fence
(28:58):
when somebody says something negative but her. So if you've
been to that girl, why does it matter what these
people saying? Can Nicki minajs certainly don't care. Nicki Minaj,
don't care nothing about what you're talking about. You can
say what you want to about her, She'll pull out
them receipts. So when Nikki was attacking her and all
(29:18):
them girls were attacking her, like I said, if Cardi
would have just put more music out for her people
and not worried about everybody else, Cardi B would be
where she need to be. But Cardi B is relying
too much on that one album, and that album is
almost people are over at this point. It's been what
(29:39):
twenty fifteen, it's been what ten years? Girl? You ain't
gonna be contenin. You are not gonna make being a comeback?
You you what almost thirty? How is Cardi thirty? And
with three kids? How are you gonna tour? The girl
never toured, She ain't never done none of that. So Carti,
how you gonna make a come at this point? Because
(30:02):
at the end of the day, unless you gonna put
out something that's just gonna be fun and uplift, just fun,
that is not gonna happen because right now Nikki is quiet.
Nikki went on tour, and Nikki is is chilling right
now that tour probably took a lot out of her.
So Nikki is chilling. She ain't doing no music, no nothing, Cardi,
(30:24):
this is your time while Nikki is chilling, while Nikki
is minding her business and anything about you. You might
want to put something out, but at the end of
the day, you done alienated so many people. People now
don't care if you put something out. Grow Grow. Glorella
is already on her second album. Megan doesn't put out
(30:47):
four four albums, which wain on? Which wait on all
these other girls that put out multiple albums and yet
you only put out one. A lot of them put
out three. Girl Get It to Go. But yeah, Carti
(31:10):
has done at this point, because Carti is almost thirty,
Lotto has done more than what Cardi has done. And
yet and still I love Lotto. But Lotto is the
same all the way through. Is she don't worrow. She
(31:30):
can rap, but all she talks about is my man,
my man, my man. I can't with that. There's only
so much about your man that you can talk about.
There are other things y'all can talk about besides Yovi,
j James and that. I mean, seriously, I don't care
nothing about Jovia j James. The problem is there are
young kids that got to see this and they think
(31:51):
that that's okay, and there's nothing okay about it. Young
girls out here being intimate with young boys and getting
pregnant and in need. Young women don't understand that. You
know what I'm saying, it's your responsibility if you look
at JT because of Uzi. Because of Uzi, JT wouldn't
be with she yet. Uzzi has put j JT in
(32:15):
positions that she would have never been in if it
wasn't for her dating him. Now, let me explain what
I mean by that. JT is talented. She is very talented,
but if she wouldn't have been dating Uzzi, she wouldn't
(32:36):
be with she yet because Uzi has stadiums. I'm not
I don't listen to him like that, but Uzi got
a following. And when you got a man that got
a following the way that he does, that's gonna that's
(32:57):
gonna basically help her. And then who'sy as far as
fashion and all of that. He's the one that gets
her in them doors. That's how she ended up on
that thing with Doci. Kadoci invited her that wasn't because
of her, that was because of DOCI. They invited DOCI,
and DOCI invited JT, and JT was awkward because it
(33:23):
goes to show take away the sex part. Take away
that you gotta go in there and be professional and
see how many of these girls know how to act,
how many of them can handle what DOCI did, And
yet y'all mad because she got a Grammy over Nikki Minoch. Okay, Okay.
So again, you can take people, excuse me, out of
(33:48):
certain areas, but you can't take the take it out
of them, can't tell people how the ghetto, but you
can't take the gettout of them. You can take you
can take the person out of the ratchet, but the
ratchet is still gonna be in them no matter what.
So even though they're an environmental ratchet, the ratchet still
gonna be in them because it's just in them anyway.
(34:11):
So what I want people to understand in these situations
is black women, y'all gotta do better. Y'all gotta do better.
Because the fact that I saw JT, JT look nervous,
she's not used to doing that type of that type
(34:33):
of performance. DOCE is a actual artist, and JT's not
used to that. JT and them used to just walking
around twerking, but to have to do choreographing, she ain't
ready for that. Now Lotto could have done that, co
(34:54):
Lotto knows how to do choreograph, So her and JT,
her and her young Miami, no majority of them females
would not have been able to handle that. And that's
a fashion that was all over the world. And JT
was stiff. She was nervous, and I get it, she
(35:17):
was nervous, but you could tell she wasn't confident about
it because she's not used to doing choreograph. She's used
just getting up there and they just doing their thing
and that's just pretty much it. But that ain't how
that works. That's why I give Tyler credit. Tyler know
(35:40):
how to perform. She's an artist. She didn't get up
there and do choreograph and be good. Even Megan. Megan
learned that from Carti. Megan Carty is the one that
talked Megan about choreography, because y'all remember before she got
over there with with with, Megan was not doing choreographs.
(36:02):
Now she is, thanks to Cardi. Card is the one
that talk cock glow Gloria Cardi is anybody that worked
with Cardi understand you're gonna do some type of choreography.
You just are. So Megan is the one that learned
from Carti, and Megan is the one to talk Glorilla.
(36:25):
So if it wasn't for if it wasn't for Megan
and Cardi, Glorilla wouldn't be what she at right now.
They the ones that helped her. Them girls are the
ones that helped her to do choreography. And that's how
her album This Time did very well because she had
the she learned from the best of the best. So yeah,
(36:47):
I'm not I'm not mad at it at all. Mm hmm.
But as black women, we got to do better. We're
not black women, were African American women. Stop thinking you
just a color. You're a person. You are more than
(37:09):
just the color of your skin. You are a queen.
You're queens. We were queens at one time, and now
we're at the bottom of the barrel. How do we
go for me and queens? The poppers? I'm just saying,
how do we get it's too many of y'all letting
(37:31):
too many people take you off your throne. Y'all got
to get rid of this ghetto rushet, ignorance, stupid, dumb
behavior because it does not help us at all. It
sets us back, that's what it does. It sets us
back tremendously. It does. And that's not fair to the
(37:53):
women that are out here owning businesses and brands, trying
to be billionaires. You know how hard it is to
be a multi billionaire. Why is it that that all
these black women that it is only maybe two black
women that are billionaires, and that's only beyond a billionaire.
(38:16):
I don't think she is. Beyonce been doing this for years,
and yet Beyonce is not a billionaire. Rihanna has surpassed
Beyonce because she created Savage fenty and she's only one.
She's only worth one point something billion. How is it
possible she has her own company and yet she's only
(38:37):
worth one point something billion, whereas em Musk is worth
one hundred and fifty something billion. How's it possible? How's
it possible that all these black people that got these
businesses is doing well, but yet they're only worth one
point something or ten billion. M interesting, So I'm trying
to understand all the albums that have so all the
(39:01):
savage fency, but you're only worth one point something billion.
Where's the rest of that money going? But then again,
she's under fifty, so fifty so they get a certain percentage.
So yeah, mm hm, So again, we gotta do better.
(39:27):
We gotta get to the place where we're multi billionaires.
We gotta get to the place they were multi millionaires.
We gotta get to the place that. Look, you gotta
have a safety net when you date men. You're gonna
have to have a straight up down safety net or
you ain't gonna survive. You cannot go into these relationships
not working. You can't go into these relationships being broke.
(39:51):
You better have something. You better have some type of income.
Because these men decide to cheat and started to leave you.
You better be able to be able to if I
have something to fall back on. Pretty much, so uh uh,
(40:13):
you just let us want. I'm looking at the family
convinced her to drop out for her sister's education. Ain't
no way in the world I would have dropped out
of school for Ain't no way in the world. I've
been watching these African folkteses. When I tell you them
things be good, they be good. They be absolutely good.
But ladies, this podcast is about, can we stop being
(40:38):
looked at for sex and just baby mamas? Please? I
want you to uplift Black women to be more than
just your sexuality, more than just your more than just
being sexual. Y'all are so much more than that. We
(41:00):
are so much more than just being single mothers and
just being baby mam just being baby mamas and sex
and that's it. Some of y'all been with men fifteen
years and ain't never gonna marry. You ain't nowhere in
the world. I am not gonna be with a man
fifteen years and we ain't married. If we ain't married
within three we got an it ain't happening. I'm still
(41:22):
gonna be living in my own house. I'm not moving
in with a man and we ain't married. Trust me,
I did that and it don't work out because if
he cheating, you can't get him out of the house. Nah,
I've really live in two super houses. I'm sorry. If
we're not married, we're not living together, and you're up
here giving this about your body to this man and
(41:42):
he's just wasting your time, and then you find out
he's cheating and got a baby on the way, you
just wasted fifteen years of your life with a man
that had you waiting for nothing. But yeah, he turns
around a year later and mess and and marry is
the girl that is the mistress or the side chick
or the side piece, whatever you wanna call it. So
(42:04):
it didn't take that long for him to marry her,
but it took him fifteen years to marry you. Some man, right,
hm hmm. So y'all got to stop. Y'all gotta stop
being these building bears and building dolls when it comes
to some of these men, because these men, some of
these men ain't worth that. They ain't they ain't worth
(42:24):
it at all. Like I said, don't get Maronda. Some
good men out here. You got Morris Chestnut who been
with his wife for over thirty years. Oh well, you
have Omar Epps who's been with his wife almost thirty years.
You got Seged entertainers, Samuel L. Jackson. So you got
men out here who have been with their wives for
a very long time. But then you have others that
(42:47):
come and go through women like it's nothing. Just like
Chris Brown. Chris Brown ain't setting Chris Brown ain't gonna
settle down to his mama died till she passed away.
He is not settling down because it's long as he
got his mama, he's not settling down. Most some men
are like that. They're not gonna settle down until they
mama is gone. When they mama leaders earth, that's when
(43:08):
they gonna settle down. That man got three baby mamas,
and not with none of 'em. But let them move on.
Let let now with Nia. He don't care about her
moving on, But let let it be a Meeka or diamond.
Unless say they mean another man. You notice neither one
of them have moved on, neither one of them have
(43:29):
dated another man. Why you think that is? And I
tell people, do you not notice that every woman that
Chris Brown meets, they head, they head gotta be put,
gotta be lowered, even cruising, even Rihanna, her her n
head was down. I tell you, I peep things, I
pay attention to things. But like I said, y'all looking
(43:54):
at these men because they got money, But you're not
looking at their character. You're not looking at who they are.
You not looking at whether they're godly men, whether God
leaves their life or not. Y'all ain't looking at none
of that. Y'all care nothing about that. All y'all care
about is he got money and he's successful and he
got money and he can take care of me. But
(44:15):
you ain't thinking about the fact of how he's treating you.
He out here dogging you out, You up here letting
this man sit there and dog you out while you
out here while he out here doing him and you
being faithful. So, like I said, it's crazy. So it's insane.
(44:43):
Like Monique is still going after Tyler Perry. Girl, leave
Tyler Perry alone. On it, Monique, You and Lee Daniels
are already good. Why are you going after Why are
you going after telepair? Lead that man alone, girl, Lead
(45:04):
that man alone, Let that man, Let that man be girl.
That man him and Oprah ain't never gonna give you
the apology that you want. So uh uh. So that's crazy.
(45:31):
So yeah, it's always something. It's always always gonna be something.
So in the end, like I said, you know, as
black women, we got we gotta realize that we can't
make the same mistakes. We can't be out here just
(45:52):
having baby at the baby at the baby with all
these different men. We can't do that. We can't be
out here. You know how having children before the age
of twenty one. We have a problem. We have a
very serious problem that we need to be discussing here.
Why are most of our daughters having babies by the
time they turn twenty one and twenty two they have
(46:14):
their firstborn. See, we need to have ladies. We need
to have a conversation here because it isn't about these men.
We the ones are gonna have to change and be better.
We're the ones that's gonna have to step up our
games to be with the men that really are meant
for us. So if you know that you somebody that
want a man that is a baller, then you're gonna
(46:36):
have to start making money to be able to be
in them doors. Because if you're someone that's not a cheerleader,
and most of them cheerleaders are Caucasian. So if you
want to know why most of these black men are
dating these girls outside, they raised because most of these
guys are going to colleges where it's dominantly Caucasian or
(46:56):
as or as someone that's non black. So when you
see these guys going to UNC and Douke, it's primarily
Caucasian that's why they end up with these girls that
are Caucasian because the colleges and the high schools that
go to are not black. They're a mixed, So that's why.
(47:19):
So it has nothing to do with the fact of
the matter what y'all think. It's just the most of
these guys you're in schools where they're dominantly white, are
Caucasian as I call them. So being that majority of
these guys are meeting these girls that are Caucasian because
(47:39):
those are the only ones they see, I'm not surprised.
So unless you're gonna go to these schools like UNC, Duke,
I'm just saying NC State, I'm from North Carolina, Kentucky, Ucla, Miami,
Florida State, Jesus is so many colleges I can't even
(48:03):
think right now Tennessee, and majority of them are dominantly Caucasian.
That's why these black men end up with these Caucasian
girls because the high schools they go to are primarily Caucasian.
To play football and HBCUs, I haven't heard of too
(48:24):
many of uh black men as far as HBCUs that
end up going pro I I it's very rare that
I see black men from h hcbus. I just said it, right,
h ACBS, I just said it. I just got thunk that.
Y'all know what I'm talking about. Black colleges that go
(48:47):
pro majority of them is not gonna happen. They go,
they go there and then they transfer for two years
and they end up going to the same Ncuba colleges
which are primarily Caucasian. That's why, because if you if, if,
if you're tryna give your son a opportunity, you know
(49:07):
you not gonna let 'em go to a black s
S black school because you ain't gonna have the opportunity.
Deon Sander just happened to be lucky, but they pissed
off because he ended up leaving and going to Colorado.
I'm done. That's lame. So that's what the issue is.
Ain't got nothing to do with that. But if these
boys wanna go pro, they got to go to a
(49:28):
a school that's Caucasian. And that's how they meet the
beckies with the good hair, no offense, but that's how
they meet them girls. That's how. And like I said,
them girls get them when they in high school. Every
females that don't even give them the time of day.
But then as soon as they find out they about
to go pro oh my god, they all over they
face yup. So I'm not surprised by any of this,
(49:55):
and don't surprise me cause it don't because like I said,
I went to a primarily Caucasian school, and yeah, the
majority of them black men, that's all day they see
is Caucasian young girls. It ain't too many black girls
that's going going to them schools. And if it is,
(50:15):
they're dating outside, they race as well, So it go
both ways. So like I said, I went to I
went to my high school and when I graduated, was
dominantly Caucasian. So yeah, I'm not surprised when they go
to high school and they go to college with them
girls they end up marrying it. Don't shot me at though.
(50:38):
That's what they do. That's what they do. So if
all your options are nothing but Caucasian, the other race
of people who you think is gonna date president that's
he's next to, does it make it right? No, not
at all. But I said, this is what happens when
(51:01):
you elevate. You elevate, you gonna be with different types
of people. You're not gonna be with you know it,
it's just not gonna be the same. So, like I said,
black women got to put themselves in position to be
at those type of schools. You're gonna have to position
(51:24):
yourself to think that it's not just about sex. To
get the men that you want, you gotta understand that. Yeah,
you do, wan, like I said, you do wanna get
them while they're playing ball and why they have potential
while they're starting out. But at the same time, you
don't wanna be the one that's gonna to be adult
eleven years later. At the same time, So, like I said,
(51:49):
it's it's it's difficult. I will say that. So, like
I said, it takes time. But like I said, we
welack women gotta get ourselves in position to be able
to get the type of men that we want, regardless
of what race they are. That's all I'm saying. So,
(52:13):
like I said, as Black women, we gotta stop being promiscuous.
We gotta stop. We gotta stop doing the stuff the
other racist women do. We can't do that. Y'all can't
be out here having sex because they gonna throw a
race back dab in your face. If y'all look at
the way black men be throwing it back in y'all
faces about y'all having baby being baby mamas. No other
(52:34):
race is doing this exet black men. So you can't
be out here being promiscuous. The only way is gonna
stop if all Black women respect each other and stop
being side chicks and thinking that it's cute that you
mess around with somebody's hook. Our Wait, So, like I said,
(53:00):
we gotta change as Black women, gonna stop being baby mamas.
We gotta stop thinking that having sex with these men
is going to keep a man. Sex don't keep a
man at all. So y'all gotta stop trying to y'all
gotta stop doing what these other races of women do
because it don't work for us. It don't. We can't
(53:20):
be out there being groupies. We can't be out there
doing the stuff that they do because it just doesn't
work out the same way a Caucasian women can be
in the sex industry and still get a husband. A
Black woman, it's not that simple. So you can't do
what other race of women do, even though it ain't fair.
But the reality of it is, you can't be out
(53:41):
here showing off everything. I listen to these successful men,
and I listen to the way they talk about Black women,
and it is so god forsaken disrespect. It ain't funny
how much these black successful men, some of them, be
talking about Black women, talking about how ghetto we are,
how loud we are. You gotta change that. You gotta
change that, because at the end of the day, you
(54:04):
gotta change the narrative. You go where you want it,
don't go where you don't. And some of y'all be
trying to get with these men that don't want y'all,
and y'all keep going after them, chasing behind them, and
they ain't doing nothing but dogging you out. You tell
them that you like them, you got phillips for them.
They keep telling you, Oh, I ain't ready. Leave it there.
It was nice me and you. We can be friends,
(54:25):
We can be cool and leave it. Leave it at
that and move on, move on, because it ain't worth it. So,
like I said, y'all, we all gotta change as women.
And we can't keep hating on our daughters because they're
younger and because there they have you. That's not a
(54:45):
good reason to be mad at a child that ain't
got nothing to do with that. That's unfair to that yild.
So anyway, I just want to come on here, and
it's been a minute since I've been on my podcast,
so I just wanted to come on here and do
this quick podcast and just tell you keep your heads up, ladies.
We these black men may be run off at the mouth,
(55:06):
but if we all come together and figure out how
to go about bettering ourselves and bettering our girls, things
will be a whole lot different if we change the narrative.
But we have to change the narrative of how black
women see each other, and we have to come together
as a whole and say, look, we gotta stop doing
(55:27):
things this way. It doesn't work. It can't just be
a couple of women. It's got to be all all
Black women gotta be willing to do the change. So
if we respect each other, then we're gonna be messing
around with somebody else's man. But then again, it's always
gonna be them feud that are going to do that.
(55:47):
So that being said, I thank y'all for joining me
for this episode. I appreciate y'all. I love y'all, and
I will see you guys on Friday for the next episode. Bye.
Welcome to African Melanan Queens. I'm your host, God is Ashamarama.
Thank you guys for joining me for this episode. If
you guys like the commentary, please go to spriaker dot
com forward slash African Melanan Queens. If you guys like
the commentary and you want to hear more, please go
(00:21):
to my name A s h A dot m A
r I A m A and you'll hear all my podcasts.
If you want to be a guest on my podcast
and you want to basically have one on one coaching,
If you want to send me letters about things that
(00:41):
you're currently dealing with, please email me at A s
h A dot m A r I A m A
and you I'm sorry A s h dot m A
r I A m A zero one at gmail dot com.
That's a s h A dot m ama zero one
(01:03):
at gmail dot com. A little about me. I am
a certified recovery life coach as well as a healing
coach and a mental health practitioner. That's all about helping
people on their paths, their journeys and their purpose to
a new embitter you through self discovery. I'm all about
helping people to when it comes to African American women,
(01:26):
women that are of all African descent when it comes
to showing you your worth and your value and that
we are queens despite all of the things that we
have been through as African descent and African people and
Black women, because you know, everybody has their preference. I
(01:50):
want to first say, I know it's been a minute
since I've been on here, but it's been something where
I had to really take a step back and I
had some medical issues that I was dealing with. Plus
I was trying to figure out what direction I wanted
to go with this particular podcast, and I figured that
(02:11):
I would go in the direction of uplifting black African descent,
African Americans and African women to being the queens that
you are and where in your crowns with pride. It's
too many of us that are feeding into the harlot,
(02:31):
the succubists, the Jezebels, and the promiscuous type of behavior
that doesn't do us any good as Black women. As
Black women, we should be dignified, very well educated, very
well spoken. We should be business women. We should be
(02:55):
also of mother nature and basically building ourselves for being
the queens of our castles. Now, I know for a
lot of women, you've been taught to go and have
a husband and get married and have a family. And
I know that a lot of Black women are really
(03:19):
finding it hard to find a partner that is all
about death to us part or finding a man that
is in our community that's going to want to be
with us instead of just being single mothers. Are we
the highest rate when it comes to single mothers, Absolutely
(03:40):
we are. And the sad part about it is with
the lowest when it comes to marriage and when it
comes to relationships. And I want that to change. But
we as Black women have to change, and we have
to grow, and we have to elevate and evolve as
(04:01):
Black women. We can't try to be what every other
race is because that's not who we are. We can't
be promiscuous, we can't be doing the things we're doing
because we're looked at in a different way. I think
that Black women need to set the standard when it
comes to being a woman. There's no one else like us,
(04:27):
dumb and wrong. There are a lot of other races
that have been through just as much, if not worse
than we have. So I don't even want to say
that no other race of women have been through anything,
because you have Muslim women that are not allowed to vote,
They're not allowed to choose, they're not allowed to do
any of that. You have young girls in India that
(04:50):
are forced to marry men twice their age. You have
a lot of people that are in tribal that are
in the same scenario when it comes to not being
able to choose their husbands. You have people from India
who young girls cut their hair, Hi who cut their
hair for religious purposes and you're wearing it. Black women,
(05:15):
we have to become in individuals, so to speak, and
we have to become queens, and we have to represent
ourselves as queens, not harlets, not succubists, and not Jezebels.
A lot of y'all are in this succubists. Whereas about
having babies and thinking that's going to secure the bag.
(05:38):
There are a lot of Black women that have built
a lot of black men and you are now single
raising kids by yourself. There are a lot of Black
women that before the age of twenty one had their
first child. There are a lot of Black women that
when they were younger were being peer pressured by boys
to have sex before age twenty one. So let me
(06:03):
break something down to black men. It's funny how y'all
want black women to be all of these things. But
yet and still you're not godly men, and you're not
men of God, and you don't lead because in the
Bible it does state that you are never supposed to
(06:24):
lower your wife. You're never supposed to make her feel
less than what she is. You are supposed to respect
her feelings. And yet and still you don't. A lot
of y'all can't even be in a room with a
bunch of naked women without wanting to sleep with them
(06:44):
behind your wife's back, behind your girl's back. The majority
of y'all don't even want to marry a black woman,
and you can't even really give a good reason why.
But let me be in the defense of blade, do
we really have to go back to slavery and and
(07:06):
the essay assault that black women suffered in the hands
of our oppressor, and how y'all sat there and did nothing.
Do we need to talk about all of the things
that black women have had to endure sexually, as far
as abuse and that we didn't have, we weren't able
(07:27):
to have sex because of our choice, but we had
to produce babies. How many of us were ripped from
our husbands and our children, not only in Africa, but
when we got here. Do you not understand the trauma
that Black women have had to endure compared to other
race of women? And yet you don't understand why we
(07:51):
have attitudes and you don't understand our pain, and you
can't understand our promiscuality. Why Black women are promiscuous? Did
we have a choice when it came to having sex?
Did we have a choice about being an eleven year
old girl being married to an eighteen year old via
(08:13):
a tribal So when have Black women ever had a
choice when it came to our sexuality? When had we
ever been able to have that choice? Black women have
been single mothers since Africa when there were wars between
Africans and Africans. Before the Spanish, the Portuguese, and the
(08:38):
Dutch came to Africa, they were already at war. Matter
of fact, the first gladiators came from Africa. That's where
Greece got the gladiators from in the first place. Africa.
You know how many African queens that Black women don't
know about that ran nations. There was one that had
(09:02):
a thousand women. She was the first one to build
the first gladiator stadium, which is now the football stadium
that you see today, came from a Black woman. Well,
African women that was a queen. There were plenty of
African queens that did not have a husband or whose
(09:23):
husband died. There were a million. There was plenty of
African mothers that basically ran a nation through their sons,
no differently than Egypt. So at the end of the day,
it's sad that Black women do not know that we
(09:46):
were queens, We ran nations. But that's not what black
men want you to know. They don't want you to
know that you ran nations. They don't want you to
know any of that at all. Because if black women
really knew the true power and the true worth that
you had, y'all wouldn't be promiscuous right about now. You
(10:10):
wouldn't be running around chasing behind men. If anything, you
would basically hold on to the value of what's between
your legs now, wouldn't you? Hm. It is sad that
we as black women do not know our worth. It
(10:33):
is it is bad that we are chasing behind men
that do not want us at all, and I do not,
for the life of men understand why black women are
the only ones that Black men don't take you to dinner.
They don't take you out to eat, but yet they
want to beat in between your legs. And when they
(10:54):
do go between your legs, they still want to make
it a transaction. They take you out for sex. We're
the only group that basically, essentially for the most part,
can be girlfriend and boyfriend, but never a wife. For
the vast majority of us, we're the only one that
the majority of our men are sitting in prison right now,
(11:15):
are dead, are gay and done wrong. I love my gays,
I love y'all I do. But what I want people
to understand this is not about bashing men. This is
about uplifting women to start being more modest. Stop giving
(11:40):
your bodies to men. Stop trying to make men be
attracted to you because of what you look like. Stop
trying to show everything. And all I hear out of
these girls' mouth is sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, That's
all I hear. Why are you doing this to yourself?
(12:03):
And then you wonder why these men look at you
the way they look at you, why they disrespect you
the way they disrespect you, and why they talk about
you the way they talk about you because you were
out here disrespecting yourselves. I am seeing so many beautiful
black women that are being dogged out by these black men,
(12:23):
and they're sitting up here with being single mothers, women
that's in their forties, that is being told as black
women that now you're not worthy or if you have children,
you shouldn't. Did a woman a single mother? She wouldn't
have been a single mother if before she turned twenty
one that little boy wasn't convincing her to not only
(12:45):
have sex with her, but to basically take off the condoms.
She wouldn't have been a single mother. If black men
would also be taught to be abstinate and to be
celibant and not having sex, I guess we wouldn't be
having these problems now, would we? Who wouldn't be having
these problems at all if it wasn't for that. Correct. So,
(13:09):
the fact that you got girls that are being taught
to be wives, but men are not being taught to
be husbands. They're taught to go out there and be
with as many women as they can, we have a
very serious problem a very serious problem that needs to
be addressed. How is it that young girls are either
(13:31):
being essayed or the N word by their mother's boyfriends.
You had young girls being peer pressured, not only by
young boys, but being preyed on by older men, young
girls that basically essentially are dating older men because they
need a daddy. I'm just trying to get some clarification here.
(13:54):
I just wish black women really knew their worth. I do.
I wish black women would understand you don't need to settle,
and sometimes you may have to go outside of your
race to find the love that you won't and the
men that are gonna treat you the way that you
deserve to be treated. At the end of the day,
(14:15):
the only one that's benefiting from y'all giving your body
to all these men are men. You are no different
than any of these women in the sex industry. You
are no different, and you are no better. The only
difference is you're giving it away for free, you're giving
it away for dinner, and you're giving it away for
(14:35):
a burking bag. So it's that easy for you to
give your body for a burking bag, And yet they
gotta pay these prostitutes and all these women in the
sex industry more money than a burking bag. Okay, And
at the end of the day, having these men ain't
even paying attention and don't even care what you do
(14:56):
in the bedroom anyway, because they don't care. Y'all keep
thinking you're doing something like these men care about how
you perform. They don't care. All they care about is
that you're making them feel good. And that's pretty much
about it. So when it comes to healing and the recovery,
when it come to black women, we're gonna have to
(15:19):
heal from everything that has happened to us since the beginning.
We gotta heal from all of the essays and the
ms that we went through throughout our whole entire existence.
We have to change the way we as women not
only represent ourselves, but stop being and having all these babies.
(15:45):
We gotta start holding these black men accountable because, like
I said, these men sit there and they lie, tell
you what you want to hear, and then get with you.
You build them, and then they leave you for a
woman that's not exactly the same race as you. Now
let me do it. Disclaimer, this has nothing to do
(16:07):
with disrespecting anybody of any other race, because y'all are
not the problem. The problem is. I am tired of
seeing black men blatantly disrespect black women on different platforms
every single chance they get. I am tired of the
way that black women are being represented based upon the
(16:29):
men that are telling them to go out here and
do this stuff in the first place. These men on
social media at like they are not men telling these
girls to go out there and talk about sex. You
think it's not the industry that's telling them to do this,
You really think that that's the case. That's like saying
that your mom, not only your daddy, but your mom
(16:49):
is telling you to go out there and be with
as many women as you can. And y'all want to
talk about the fact of you know of women, but
yet we don't talk about how your mamas are telling
y'all to go out there and be with as many
women as you can. Y'all don't have to be celibrated
at all. You ain't gotta save yourself or your wife,
(17:11):
But yet you want your wife to be pure. When
you get all of these young boys running around here
and lying to these young girls and then getting them pregnant,
and then abandoning them. But we don't want to talk
about the young girls that are virgins that are being
duped and manipulated into giving their bodies and then getting pregnant.
(17:35):
Do you not know the average female gets pregnant before
twenty one with her firstborn son in the black community
or daughter in the black community before twenty one the
vast majority. Why because these boys are taking off these
condoms and not telling these girls they're taking off these condoms.
(17:58):
So please don't play my face like y'all don't be
taking off condoms and not telling nobody, or they convinced
the girl that they pull out they're not gonna get pregnant.
We all know that's a lie, but these young girls
don't know no better. And the fact that we're at work,
we're not there to protect them. We're not there to
be able to make sure this stuff doesn't happen. These
(18:21):
girls are seeking sneaking these boys in the house, or
they're going to these parties and playing spending a bottle
and doctor and all this other payinghouse. We all know
what playing house means when we're kids, hide and go
get it all this other stuff. Back in the day,
you couldn't even watch anything with sex unless you had
(18:42):
a pass code. We need to go back to that. Seriously,
we need to go back to these past codes when
it comes to certain websites. That way, these girls can't
see certain things. But the fact that we ourselves are
still doing the same thing we don't want our daughters
to do as a problem. So if you want your
daughter to be abstinent, guess what you got to be
(19:03):
abstinent in yourself. You gotta be celibate yourself. You gotta
lead by example, because if you out here being celibateting,
then your daughter gonna be celibate. And you gotta make
sure you let your daughter know. Look, you don't need
to be out there going to the club and go
into all these places. Especially if she's a child that
(19:26):
is from the church. She don't need to be going
in them secular places. At the end of the day,
like I said, you're not supposed to be with a
non believer if you're a believer, bottom line. So I
get the fact that for a lot of you you
(19:47):
think that basically it's about dating somebody because of what
they look like and how much money they got. Well,
you wouldn't be thinking like that if you had your own,
If you had your own, you wouldn't even be thinking
about that man and how much money has. Let me
break down a reverse psychiatry thing. If a man walks
(20:08):
up to a woman and she's in a restaurant having
dinner or she's just out, and about the first thing
that man gonna think when she when he see that
purse that she bought, that some man bought it. So
let's just say you're at a restaurant and you're you're
(20:31):
eating and you're getting ready to walk out, and this
six this man that makes six figures walks up to
you while you're waiting for your car and asking can
he give you a ride? And you be like, no,
I'm good. And he said you must be here, You
must be here with your husband. Who said at a husband?
So he said, I take it to your man must
(20:51):
have bought you that purse. Who said, a man bought
me that purse. So the next thing, you know, both
of y'all cars pull up, and you got a better
looking car than he got. So now he's looking like,
wait a minute, So let me go back a little bit,
wind a little bit, so y'all are having a conversation
and this man is sitting there telling you I can
(21:11):
buy you this, I can do this for you, I
can do that for you. What makes you think I
need any of that? Really? To tell you the truth,
the only thing I want is a man to buy
me flowers on Monday so I can start my day off.
I don't need you to buy me anything because I
have my own money, So I really don't need you
for that. What else you got? Do? You know how
(21:33):
many men stumble because if you take away the money,
you take away their whole entire identity. So the whole
point of a woman having money is to take away
the money part that these men use against you. So
if you have your own money, what else do they have?
(21:56):
Do they can come up with? What else can they
say if you make more mone money than them. Nothing.
That's why they don't want a female that has money,
because then they have nothing else to offer. It ain't
about having a conversation with a woman. You've been massed,
you've been amzed. How many men really do not want
to having a conversation with you. It's all about them
(22:17):
talking and you listening. That's pretty much about it. That's
all they want to do. So if you by you
having money. The whole point is that man can't take
advantage of you. Whether he stay or go, You're gonna
be fine regardless, because if both of y'all got money
and you're evenly yoke, he can't get away with the
(22:37):
things that he could get away with somebody has less
than That's why a lot of these look look at
look at what's going on, Mary J. Blige. And the
fact that kenwt Ken you is trying to get more
money to take care of his family. I hope, pretty god,
they throw it out of the court. That girl had
to pay thirty five thousand dollars to that man because
he was less than women. You know, always the one
(23:01):
is always posed to lower themselves to build men up.
But a man will never build a woman. He will
keep her in bondage, keep her in lower vibrations, and
will use her looks too. Basically, get ahead, let me
(23:21):
explain to y'all how these men be playing. Y'all. They
use you as a beautiful woman and then turn around
and throw it in your face in the same swoop.
Let me give you an example. Most CEO jobs want
the man to be married. The presidency, governor's mayors. You
(23:46):
gotta be married. Why because it shows commitment, it shows loyalty,
it shows something as far as doing right by people allegedly,
But a person that's says and a man, there's no
(24:06):
loyalty there. So by having a woman, it gives them
better chances to get that promotion with a wife, so
they have a better chance of being able to get
that position. They need you because of jealousy. It's all
(24:28):
about pulling you. It's all about the fact that they
have one of the baddest women on their arm. It's
just like you have men that do contract marriages to
get a get their inheritance, and their mothers want them
to get married in order to get their inheritance. And
what do they do do a contract marriage. They'll get
(24:50):
a real pretty girl that looks good on their arm
based on society standards. And that's why they marry you.
They don't marry you because they love you. They marry
you because of the fact you fit the standard that's
gonna help them get indoors because all these men are
gonna be basically Google gogogging off of you. So the
(25:13):
fact that if you're a beautiful woman and you know
how to talk to these men. You're gonna be able
to pull the men quicker than a male can. So
if you get a woman that knows about business and
she's dropped there Gorgion, she can go in there and
talk them men out of anything. That's why when it
comes to sexual harassment at the workplace, you don't understand
(25:35):
why that is so. Again, yeah, they want a beautiful
woman sitting at their front desk. Why because of image,
Not because they love these women, but because of the
image of it all. But at the same time, it
also proves a point though, and the same swoop. Beauty
ain't better because some of y'all are some pretty some
(25:58):
pillow princesses, because y'all can't keep a man either. So
it don't matter whether a woman is unattractive or attractive,
you still can't keep a man. So if attractive women
can't keep a man, if attractive women in the black
community can't even keep a man, then you are no
better than a woman that is unattractive. So please stop
(26:20):
ask thinking that you're better than. And that's what Lizzo
is getting ready to find out. I'm proud that she
lost the weight, I am, but if you doing it
to fit society standards, because I am sitting here watching
how differently now people are treating her because she lost
the weight. I ain't never gonna forget how somebody treated
(26:45):
me before, when I was bigger, or when I went
through something. That's why I said, I always want to
have something to remember what I went through, because you're
not gonna be in my face after when I was.
When I was one way. You know what I'm saying,
You gonna treat me some. Treat me one way, but
then treat me another now that I lost the way
(27:07):
and I lost eleven pounds. But what's really funny to
me is Cardi B. Cardi B had everything going for
her until she let offset and knock her up and
she didn't go on that tour with Bruno Mars. I
know she is regretting that, but she let a man
(27:29):
stop her from an opportunity that she now got to
live with, and she's only put out one album. I
don't think Cardi gonna be able to make a comeback.
She ain't. It's too late. Her opportunity came and went.
If Carti would have kept that same hustle and said
I'm not trying to get pregnant and stood on that.
(27:50):
Cardi B would be a megastar right now. Cardi B's
time is coming to an end and she don't even
realize that. So she's got to figure out something else
to do because it's already showing us what she doing. So, yeah,
she should have put that album out. She should have
(28:13):
waited to She should have went ahead when Invasion Invasion
of Prophecy came out before Nicki came back, went ahead
and put that second album out. She let Niki punk her,
That's what she did. She let Nicki Minaj scare of
daylights out of her, cause every time Carti got ready
to put something out, Nicki Minaj would come out and
(28:35):
say something and it would make her, Like I said,
Carti being her feelings entirely too much. Carti is not
that it and that's why people don't believe see them.
Let me break down. It's bigger than her just putting
out music. That ain't what the issue is. The issue
is we have seen the way Carti has a fence
(28:58):
when somebody says something negative but her. So if you've
been to that girl, why does it matter what these
people saying? Can Nicki minajs certainly don't care. Nicki Minaj,
don't care nothing about what you're talking about. You can
say what you want to about her, She'll pull out
them receipts. So when Nikki was attacking her and all
(29:18):
them girls were attacking her, like I said, if Cardi
would have just put more music out for her people
and not worried about everybody else, Cardi B would be
where she need to be. But Cardi B is relying
too much on that one album, and that album is
almost people are over at this point. It's been what
(29:39):
twenty fifteen, it's been what ten years? Girl? You ain't
gonna be contenin. You are not gonna make being a comeback?
You you what almost thirty? How is Cardi thirty? And
with three kids? How are you gonna tour? The girl
never toured, She ain't never done none of that. So Carti,
how you gonna make a come at this point? Because
(30:02):
at the end of the day, unless you gonna put
out something that's just gonna be fun and uplift, just fun,
that is not gonna happen because right now Nikki is quiet.
Nikki went on tour, and Nikki is is chilling right
now that tour probably took a lot out of her.
So Nikki is chilling. She ain't doing no music, no nothing, Cardi,
(30:24):
this is your time while Nikki is chilling, while Nikki
is minding her business and anything about you. You might
want to put something out, but at the end of
the day, you done alienated so many people. People now
don't care if you put something out. Grow Grow. Glorella
is already on her second album. Megan doesn't put out
(30:47):
four four albums, which wain on? Which wait on all
these other girls that put out multiple albums and yet
you only put out one. A lot of them put
out three. Girl Get It to Go. But yeah, Carti
(31:10):
has done at this point, because Carti is almost thirty,
Lotto has done more than what Cardi has done. And
yet and still I love Lotto. But Lotto is the
same all the way through. Is she don't worrow. She
(31:30):
can rap, but all she talks about is my man,
my man, my man. I can't with that. There's only
so much about your man that you can talk about.
There are other things y'all can talk about besides Yovi,
j James and that. I mean, seriously, I don't care
nothing about Jovia j James. The problem is there are
young kids that got to see this and they think
(31:51):
that that's okay, and there's nothing okay about it. Young
girls out here being intimate with young boys and getting
pregnant and in need. Young women don't understand that. You
know what I'm saying, it's your responsibility if you look
at JT because of Uzi. Because of Uzi, JT wouldn't
be with she yet. Uzzi has put j JT in
(32:15):
positions that she would have never been in if it
wasn't for her dating him. Now, let me explain what
I mean by that. JT is talented. She is very talented,
but if she wouldn't have been dating Uzzi, she wouldn't
(32:36):
be with she yet because Uzi has stadiums. I'm not
I don't listen to him like that, but Uzi got
a following. And when you got a man that got
a following the way that he does, that's gonna that's
(32:57):
gonna basically help her. And then who'sy as far as
fashion and all of that. He's the one that gets
her in them doors. That's how she ended up on
that thing with Doci. Kadoci invited her that wasn't because
of her, that was because of DOCI. They invited DOCI,
and DOCI invited JT, and JT was awkward because it
(33:23):
goes to show take away the sex part. Take away
that you gotta go in there and be professional and
see how many of these girls know how to act,
how many of them can handle what DOCI did, And
yet y'all mad because she got a Grammy over Nikki Minoch. Okay, Okay.
So again, you can take people, excuse me, out of
(33:48):
certain areas, but you can't take the take it out
of them, can't tell people how the ghetto, but you
can't take the gettout of them. You can take you
can take the person out of the ratchet, but the
ratchet is still gonna be in them no matter what.
So even though they're an environmental ratchet, the ratchet still
gonna be in them because it's just in them anyway.
(34:11):
So what I want people to understand in these situations
is black women, y'all gotta do better. Y'all gotta do better.
Because the fact that I saw JT, JT look nervous,
she's not used to doing that type of that type
(34:33):
of performance. DOCE is a actual artist, and JT's not
used to that. JT and them used to just walking
around twerking, but to have to do choreographing, she ain't
ready for that. Now Lotto could have done that, co
(34:54):
Lotto knows how to do choreograph, So her and JT,
her and her young Miami, no majority of them females
would not have been able to handle that. And that's
a fashion that was all over the world. And JT
was stiff. She was nervous, and I get it, she
(35:17):
was nervous, but you could tell she wasn't confident about
it because she's not used to doing choreograph. She's used
just getting up there and they just doing their thing
and that's just pretty much it. But that ain't how
that works. That's why I give Tyler credit. Tyler know
(35:40):
how to perform. She's an artist. She didn't get up
there and do choreograph and be good. Even Megan. Megan
learned that from Carti. Megan Carty is the one that
talked Megan about choreography, because y'all remember before she got
over there with with with, Megan was not doing choreographs.
(36:02):
Now she is, thanks to Cardi. Card is the one
that talk cock glow Gloria Cardi is anybody that worked
with Cardi understand you're gonna do some type of choreography.
You just are. So Megan is the one that learned
from Carti, and Megan is the one to talk Glorilla.
(36:25):
So if it wasn't for if it wasn't for Megan
and Cardi, Glorilla wouldn't be what she at right now.
They the ones that helped her. Them girls are the
ones that helped her to do choreography. And that's how
her album This Time did very well because she had
the she learned from the best of the best. So yeah,
(36:47):
I'm not I'm not mad at it at all. Mm hmm.
But as black women, we got to do better. We're
not black women, were African American women. Stop thinking you
just a color. You're a person. You are more than
(37:09):
just the color of your skin. You are a queen.
You're queens. We were queens at one time, and now
we're at the bottom of the barrel. How do we
go for me and queens? The poppers? I'm just saying,
how do we get it's too many of y'all letting
(37:31):
too many people take you off your throne. Y'all got
to get rid of this ghetto rushet, ignorance, stupid, dumb
behavior because it does not help us at all. It
sets us back, that's what it does. It sets us
back tremendously. It does. And that's not fair to the
(37:53):
women that are out here owning businesses and brands, trying
to be billionaires. You know how hard it is to
be a multi billionaire. Why is it that that all
these black women that it is only maybe two black
women that are billionaires, and that's only beyond a billionaire.
(38:16):
I don't think she is. Beyonce been doing this for years,
and yet Beyonce is not a billionaire. Rihanna has surpassed
Beyonce because she created Savage fenty and she's only one.
She's only worth one point something billion. How is it
possible she has her own company and yet she's only
(38:37):
worth one point something billion, whereas em Musk is worth
one hundred and fifty something billion. How's it possible? How's
it possible that all these black people that got these
businesses is doing well, but yet they're only worth one
point something or ten billion. M interesting, So I'm trying
to understand all the albums that have so all the
(39:01):
savage fency, but you're only worth one point something billion.
Where's the rest of that money going? But then again,
she's under fifty, so fifty so they get a certain percentage.
So yeah, mm hm, So again, we gotta do better.
(39:27):
We gotta get to the place where we're multi billionaires.
We gotta get to the place they were multi millionaires.
We gotta get to the place that. Look, you gotta
have a safety net when you date men. You're gonna
have to have a straight up down safety net or
you ain't gonna survive. You cannot go into these relationships
not working. You can't go into these relationships being broke.
(39:51):
You better have something. You better have some type of income.
Because these men decide to cheat and started to leave you.
You better be able to be able to if I
have something to fall back on. Pretty much, so uh uh,
(40:13):
you just let us want. I'm looking at the family
convinced her to drop out for her sister's education. Ain't
no way in the world I would have dropped out
of school for Ain't no way in the world. I've
been watching these African folkteses. When I tell you them
things be good, they be good. They be absolutely good.
But ladies, this podcast is about, can we stop being
(40:38):
looked at for sex and just baby mamas? Please? I
want you to uplift Black women to be more than
just your sexuality, more than just your more than just
being sexual. Y'all are so much more than that. We
(41:00):
are so much more than just being single mothers and
just being baby mam just being baby mamas and sex
and that's it. Some of y'all been with men fifteen
years and ain't never gonna marry. You ain't nowhere in
the world. I am not gonna be with a man
fifteen years and we ain't married. If we ain't married
within three we got an it ain't happening. I'm still
(41:22):
gonna be living in my own house. I'm not moving
in with a man and we ain't married. Trust me,
I did that and it don't work out because if
he cheating, you can't get him out of the house. Nah,
I've really live in two super houses. I'm sorry. If
we're not married, we're not living together, and you're up
here giving this about your body to this man and
(41:42):
he's just wasting your time, and then you find out
he's cheating and got a baby on the way, you
just wasted fifteen years of your life with a man
that had you waiting for nothing. But yeah, he turns
around a year later and mess and and marry is
the girl that is the mistress or the side chick
or the side piece, whatever you wanna call it. So
(42:04):
it didn't take that long for him to marry her,
but it took him fifteen years to marry you. Some man, right,
hm hmm. So y'all got to stop. Y'all gotta stop
being these building bears and building dolls when it comes
to some of these men, because these men, some of
these men ain't worth that. They ain't they ain't worth
(42:24):
it at all. Like I said, don't get Maronda. Some
good men out here. You got Morris Chestnut who been
with his wife for over thirty years. Oh well, you
have Omar Epps who's been with his wife almost thirty years.
You got Seged entertainers, Samuel L. Jackson. So you got
men out here who have been with their wives for
a very long time. But then you have others that
(42:47):
come and go through women like it's nothing. Just like
Chris Brown. Chris Brown ain't setting Chris Brown ain't gonna
settle down to his mama died till she passed away.
He is not settling down because it's long as he
got his mama, he's not settling down. Most some men
are like that. They're not gonna settle down until they
mama is gone. When they mama leaders earth, that's when
(43:08):
they gonna settle down. That man got three baby mamas,
and not with none of 'em. But let them move on.
Let let now with Nia. He don't care about her
moving on, But let let it be a Meeka or diamond.
Unless say they mean another man. You notice neither one
of them have moved on, neither one of them have
(43:29):
dated another man. Why you think that is? And I
tell people, do you not notice that every woman that
Chris Brown meets, they head, they head gotta be put,
gotta be lowered, even cruising, even Rihanna, her her n
head was down. I tell you, I peep things, I
pay attention to things. But like I said, y'all looking
(43:54):
at these men because they got money, But you're not
looking at their character. You're not looking at who they are.
You not looking at whether they're godly men, whether God
leaves their life or not. Y'all ain't looking at none
of that. Y'all care nothing about that. All y'all care
about is he got money and he's successful and he
got money and he can take care of me. But
(44:15):
you ain't thinking about the fact of how he's treating you.
He out here dogging you out, You up here letting
this man sit there and dog you out while you
out here while he out here doing him and you
being faithful. So, like I said, it's crazy. So it's insane.
(44:43):
Like Monique is still going after Tyler Perry. Girl, leave
Tyler Perry alone. On it, Monique, You and Lee Daniels
are already good. Why are you going after Why are
you going after telepair? Lead that man alone, girl, Lead
(45:04):
that man alone, Let that man, Let that man be girl.
That man him and Oprah ain't never gonna give you
the apology that you want. So uh uh. So that's crazy.
(45:31):
So yeah, it's always something. It's always always gonna be something.
So in the end, like I said, you know, as
black women, we got we gotta realize that we can't
make the same mistakes. We can't be out here just
(45:52):
having baby at the baby at the baby with all
these different men. We can't do that. We can't be
out here. You know how having children before the age
of twenty one. We have a problem. We have a
very serious problem that we need to be discussing here.
Why are most of our daughters having babies by the
time they turn twenty one and twenty two they have
(46:14):
their firstborn. See, we need to have ladies. We need
to have a conversation here because it isn't about these men.
We the ones are gonna have to change and be better.
We're the ones that's gonna have to step up our
games to be with the men that really are meant
for us. So if you know that you somebody that
want a man that is a baller, then you're gonna
(46:36):
have to start making money to be able to be
in them doors. Because if you're someone that's not a cheerleader,
and most of them cheerleaders are Caucasian. So if you
want to know why most of these black men are
dating these girls outside, they raised because most of these
guys are going to colleges where it's dominantly Caucasian or
(46:56):
as or as someone that's non black. So when you
see these guys going to UNC and Douke, it's primarily
Caucasian that's why they end up with these girls that
are Caucasian because the colleges and the high schools that
go to are not black. They're a mixed, So that's why.
(47:19):
So it has nothing to do with the fact of
the matter what y'all think. It's just the most of
these guys you're in schools where they're dominantly white, are
Caucasian as I call them. So being that majority of
these guys are meeting these girls that are Caucasian because
(47:39):
those are the only ones they see, I'm not surprised.
So unless you're gonna go to these schools like UNC, Duke,
I'm just saying NC State, I'm from North Carolina, Kentucky, Ucla, Miami,
Florida State, Jesus is so many colleges I can't even
(48:03):
think right now Tennessee, and majority of them are dominantly Caucasian.
That's why these black men end up with these Caucasian
girls because the high schools they go to are primarily Caucasian.
To play football and HBCUs, I haven't heard of too
(48:24):
many of uh black men as far as HBCUs that
end up going pro I I it's very rare that
I see black men from h hcbus. I just said it, right,
h ACBS, I just said it. I just got thunk that.
Y'all know what I'm talking about. Black colleges that go
(48:47):
pro majority of them is not gonna happen. They go,
they go there and then they transfer for two years
and they end up going to the same Ncuba colleges
which are primarily Caucasian. That's why, because if you if, if,
if you're tryna give your son a opportunity, you know
(49:07):
you not gonna let 'em go to a black s
S black school because you ain't gonna have the opportunity.
Deon Sander just happened to be lucky, but they pissed
off because he ended up leaving and going to Colorado.
I'm done. That's lame. So that's what the issue is.
Ain't got nothing to do with that. But if these
boys wanna go pro, they got to go to a
(49:28):
a school that's Caucasian. And that's how they meet the
beckies with the good hair, no offense, but that's how
they meet them girls. That's how. And like I said,
them girls get them when they in high school. Every
females that don't even give them the time of day.
But then as soon as they find out they about
to go pro oh my god, they all over they
face yup. So I'm not surprised by any of this,
(49:55):
and don't surprise me cause it don't because like I said,
I went to a primarily Caucasian school, and yeah, the
majority of them black men, that's all day they see
is Caucasian young girls. It ain't too many black girls
that's going going to them schools. And if it is,
(50:15):
they're dating outside, they race as well, So it go
both ways. So like I said, I went to I
went to my high school and when I graduated, was
dominantly Caucasian. So yeah, I'm not surprised when they go
to high school and they go to college with them
girls they end up marrying it. Don't shot me at though.
(50:38):
That's what they do. That's what they do. So if
all your options are nothing but Caucasian, the other race
of people who you think is gonna date president that's
he's next to, does it make it right? No, not
at all. But I said, this is what happens when
(51:01):
you elevate. You elevate, you gonna be with different types
of people. You're not gonna be with you know it,
it's just not gonna be the same. So, like I said,
black women got to put themselves in position to be
at those type of schools. You're gonna have to position
(51:24):
yourself to think that it's not just about sex. To
get the men that you want, you gotta understand that. Yeah,
you do, wan, like I said, you do wanna get
them while they're playing ball and why they have potential
while they're starting out. But at the same time, you
don't wanna be the one that's gonna to be adult
eleven years later. At the same time, So, like I said,
(51:49):
it's it's it's difficult. I will say that. So, like
I said, it takes time. But like I said, we
welack women gotta get ourselves in position to be able
to get the type of men that we want, regardless
of what race they are. That's all I'm saying. So,
(52:13):
like I said, as Black women, we gotta stop being promiscuous.
We gotta stop. We gotta stop doing the stuff the
other racist women do. We can't do that. Y'all can't
be out here having sex because they gonna throw a
race back dab in your face. If y'all look at
the way black men be throwing it back in y'all
faces about y'all having baby being baby mamas. No other
(52:34):
race is doing this exet black men. So you can't
be out here being promiscuous. The only way is gonna
stop if all Black women respect each other and stop
being side chicks and thinking that it's cute that you
mess around with somebody's hook. Our Wait, So, like I said,
(53:00):
we gotta change as Black women, gonna stop being baby mamas.
We gotta stop thinking that having sex with these men
is going to keep a man. Sex don't keep a
man at all. So y'all gotta stop trying to y'all
gotta stop doing what these other races of women do
because it don't work for us. It don't. We can't
(53:20):
be out there being groupies. We can't be out there
doing the stuff that they do because it just doesn't
work out the same way a Caucasian women can be
in the sex industry and still get a husband. A
Black woman, it's not that simple. So you can't do
what other race of women do, even though it ain't fair.
But the reality of it is, you can't be out
(53:41):
here showing off everything. I listen to these successful men,
and I listen to the way they talk about Black women,
and it is so god forsaken disrespect. It ain't funny
how much these black successful men, some of them, be
talking about Black women, talking about how ghetto we are,
how loud we are. You gotta change that. You gotta
change that, because at the end of the day, you
(54:04):
gotta change the narrative. You go where you want it,
don't go where you don't. And some of y'all be
trying to get with these men that don't want y'all,
and y'all keep going after them, chasing behind them, and
they ain't doing nothing but dogging you out. You tell
them that you like them, you got phillips for them.
They keep telling you, Oh, I ain't ready. Leave it there.
It was nice me and you. We can be friends,
(54:25):
We can be cool and leave it. Leave it at
that and move on, move on, because it ain't worth it. So,
like I said, y'all, we all gotta change as women.
And we can't keep hating on our daughters because they're
younger and because there they have you. That's not a
(54:45):
good reason to be mad at a child that ain't
got nothing to do with that. That's unfair to that yild.
So anyway, I just want to come on here, and
it's been a minute since I've been on my podcast,
so I just wanted to come on here and do
this quick podcast and just tell you keep your heads up, ladies.
We these black men may be run off at the mouth,
(55:06):
but if we all come together and figure out how
to go about bettering ourselves and bettering our girls, things
will be a whole lot different if we change the narrative.
But we have to change the narrative of how black
women see each other, and we have to come together
as a whole and say, look, we gotta stop doing
(55:27):
things this way. It doesn't work. It can't just be
a couple of women. It's got to be all all
Black women gotta be willing to do the change. So
if we respect each other, then we're gonna be messing
around with somebody else's man. But then again, it's always
gonna be them feud that are going to do that.
(55:47):
So that being said, I thank y'all for joining me
for this episode. I appreciate y'all. I love y'all, and
I will see you guys on Friday for the next episode. Bye.
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