April 5, 2025 • 36 mins
In this episode, I’m gonna be discussing why just because you want certain things and people doesn’t mean that person wants you. Why just because you think you deserve certain things doesn’t mean that you’re deserving of it? Why do people go after things and people that don’t want them, or that they’re not meant to have? How are the things that we want are the reasons that we end up in the negative situations that were in due to what we’re willing to do to get those things and people that may not be meant for us? Why is it that we chase after the things and people that are not meant for us? Why what we’re willing to do to get what we want is the reason for the addictions that you have? How would you want can also lead to pain, trauma, suffering, and more?
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey y'all.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Hey, welcome to my podcast, African Melanin Queens and Perfectly
Imperfection Radio Podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
I'm your host, Goddess Asha Maria.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
I'm'a thank you guys for joining me for this episode.
If you guys like the commentary I wanna hear more,
please go to speaker dot com forward slash African melanin
Queens and Perfectly Imperfection Radio Podcast. If you guys wanna
hear all of my podcasts, you can go to Spotify, Google, iHeartRadio, Amazon,
(00:34):
you can go to a cash Box and multiple other
streaming companies as well. A little about me. I'm a
certified recovery, life coach and healing coach as well as
a mental health practitioner who all about helping people on
their paths and their journeys to a new em better
you through self discovery. I help people when it comes
to African American women and women of African descent and
(00:58):
women that are African to basically heal from the generational
trauma that we've experienced from everything from slavery to being
single mothers to everything that we've dealt with as African
descent and African people around the world. As for my
(01:21):
Perfectly Imperfection channel, I help people that have low self esteem,
low self low self value, people that basically are not
chosen because of what they look like, because of their
flaws and imperfections, or because of the mistakes they've made
in their past. These are people that have been bullied
(01:44):
throughout their whole entire lives and have constantly been treated
any in any kind of way, and they're feeling like
they don't deserve to be here. These are people that
end up unlive in themselves because the bullying and the
harassing and the fact that they feel like they are
(02:05):
not worthy of certain things. These are people that basically
are dealing with post traumatic slave disorder, and this is
a disorder where people have been treated like slaves their
whole entire lives. They feel like that they don't deserve
to keep what they have, that they feel like that
(02:27):
they have to do all of these things in order
to be in relationships with people, and they're willing to
give up everything to the point of where they end
up in worse, very bad situations, like, for example, you
got people sitting in jail for the love of somebody.
You have young girls that unerlive with their parents for
(02:51):
the love of somebody or vice versa. Now they're both
sitting in prison and they're not with the person they
unlive their parents for. These are people that are in
prison because they committed crimes.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
In groups, and now they're all sitting in prison.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
These are people that basically get taken advantage of because
they're genuinely good people and they are seat fillers, captain
saber holes, builde bears, build a dolls, and they are
people pleasers. Now, what I want people to understand about
these particular things on both sides of these podcasts, regardless
(03:29):
of whether you are African descent African American, or whether
you are quote unquote a black woman.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
I need people to.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Understand that on both sides, you've been through some type
of post traumatic slave disorder. I'm afraid, I think on
both sides, whether it be a woman that's overweight, a
woman that has ezema, a woman that has pimple, a
(04:01):
woman that went through hair loss, a woman that had
to cut her hair because of cancer, a woman that's
going through illness, a woman that basically was out here
being promiscuous or in the sex industry or humanly trafficked,
or the n word, which is molestation.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
It doesn't matter what the person is.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
The point is we've all been through some type of
trauma because we gave ourselves to people that weren't worth
us in the first place.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
We lowered ourselves for people that basically essentially.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Treated us like trash, and the whole entire time, they're
still out here looking for someone else. That is the
one thing that Black women and African descent women and
African American women have in common with people that are
perfectly imperfected. Y'all have the same thing in common. And
that's why I wanted to do these together today. At
(05:01):
the end of the day, you have people that look
in the mirror and they don't like what they see.
You have a lot of people that were wearing makeup
to cover up flaws and imperfections or just wear it,
just be wearing it.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
When it all actuality. Makeup wasn't for people that didn't
need it.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
It was for women that went through abusive relationships, women
that had to cover their faces so nobody would see
the bruises, or it was for women to have br
blemishes and ezema or pimples, and it was a way
of covering that up, but it was never supposed to
be for women that had nothing wrong. But now everybody's
(05:39):
wearing makeup. The problem with makeup is that it clogged
your pores, which in terms toxins is getting into your skin,
which in.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Terms is making you older.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
That's why for me, I don't recommend young girls wearing
makeup at all because they don't need it.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
A lot of y'all don't need makeup.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
It's just like a lot of people that go and
they do tanning, and they end up putting chemicals in
their bodies that are not organic or holistic, and they
end up getting really, really sick, and you end up
having cancer because you're putting stuff in your body that
(06:22):
doesn't necessarily belong because of society's standards, just like sex sells.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
And yet still that didn't.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Come from unattractive women, and that certainly did not come
from any type of African descent or African person or
black person. So at the end of the day, what
I've learned to do is I'm not trying to compete
with any other race of women when it comes to
men and their choices and what it is that they
(06:50):
want to do. I'm not losing weight to be in
a relationship. I'm not being healthy to be in a relationship.
I'm being healthy because it's the right thing to do
and it's.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
What I need to do.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
What I want people to understand is your whole entire
life has been based on somebody else. So for example,
you have kids that were in the industry and their
mama's in them very much, spent all their money. When
they turn eighteen, they have nothing to off, nothing at
all to look forward to, and now they're broke. So
(07:28):
now the child has to emancipate themselves or sue their
parents for the money. And what happened with Gary Coleman,
he lost because at the end of the day, he
was a kid, whereas Webster he won his case. He
was the first child in America to emancipate himself from
his parents. So when you get older, it goes from
(07:51):
that to everybody else, friends, family, romantic relationships, jobs. That
part about it is you got people out here playing
games and they're basically using you for something, whether it
be you're out here showing everybody that you've got money,
(08:11):
showing everybody what you got, but not understanding. By doing that,
you're having negative people being Lord to you having negative
people to come into your world and cause a bunch
of god for sakend confusion that you really don't want.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
For example, there was a.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Young lady that says she couldn't go to the Chris
Brown concert because God told her nothing to go. But
my response is God told you to bring people back
to God.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
If Jesus could be around the.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Devil himself and be able to for forty days not
feed into anything that the devil will put.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Out there, why can't you so at the end of
the day.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Don't get me wrong somebody that is all for hanging
out doing things like that. But I've been listening to
a lot of African skits and today is about the
fact that you have a lot of people, especially siblings
in particular, and husbands and wives and friends and family that.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
When you have money, they are all in your face.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
When you have family, it's like if you're the one
making money, they're expecting you to take care of them.
They're expecting to live off you, but then turn around
and trash you in the same token. So while you're
out here not being able to enjoy the fruits of
(09:50):
your labor, everybody else is enjoying it, but yet they're
not working. Now, don't get me wrong, I have no
problems with being there my mama, I don't.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
I have no problems with supporting her.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
I have no problems with doing none of that because
my mom has always supported me. That's different because she
supports me the same way I support her. Like, for example,
I'm moving and she's sending me money to help me
with my move, which I appreciate, and I plan on
paying her back.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
But I'm paying her back her money. Now with the
situation with.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Some people, they'll ask you to borrow money but won't
pay it back. So I learned the word borrow is
the same thing as can I have, because they're not
gonna pay you back unless you have something in right
in stating they gotta pay you back your money and
how long is gonna take them to pay it back?
Speaker 1 (10:49):
They're not gonna pay it back.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
He don't even say the word can I have no
more because they know if you say the word can
I have, you're not gonna give it to them. But
they'll say the word can I borrow, which is another
word for I'm gonna borrow the money, but I'm not
gonna pay you back. It's not even give and give anymore,
it's give and take. Relationships are no longer about being
true friends.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
It's about what can I get out of this person?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
How can I use this person and take advantage of
this person to manipulate and bamboozoo and lead that to.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Person that's right?
Speaker 2 (11:21):
How can I convince this person to do all kinds
of things? How can I get this person to be
the person that no matter what it is I do,
no matter how many times I screw up, they always
gonna be there mommy, daddy, child dynamic, because that's what your.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Parents do every time you screw up.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Your parents are the ones that are there for you.
Your parents are the ones that got your back. Your
parents are the ones that when you go through something,
are always gonna be there. Well, guess what now, other
people think that you're supposed to be there, like you're
supposed to be their parents.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
And everybody keeps.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Talking about they don't want fifty to fifty. No, you
want to parents, You want a child. You don't want
an adult, because an adult is fifty to fifty, not
sixty forty, not eighty twenty, not seventy thirty or ninety ten,
it's fifty fifty. You have a lot of people that's
out here that are sitting up here trying to get
(12:21):
people to do things, and then when the consequence happens,
it's every man for themselves. So when y'all committed the crime,
it was okay for y'all to do it. But now
all of a sudden, you're getting caught. Now, all of
a sudden, everybody wants to basically be the one to say,
I didn't have nothing to do with it. The only
reason I did it was because it is. You did
it because that's what you wanted to do. You didn't
(12:41):
do it because you had to. You did it because
that's just what you wanted to do. You want to
be out here and commit infidelity. You want to be
out there and be unfaithful. That is what you wanted
to do. It was a choice that you made. And
the sad part about it is, but I watched the country,
Wayne Skits, and I decided on my African melon and Queen,
(13:02):
I am gonna go over these African over these country,
Wayne Skits, because we definitely need to have a conversation
about these country, Wayne Skits.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
So I'm gonna start.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Doing the Country Wayne skits on the African Melon and
Queen platform, So you will see Country Wayne titles, but
it will be a title, but the Country Wayne skits
will be a part of that and we will be
listening to the skits and when we go live then
(13:37):
you'll actually get to see the skits.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
So I feel like the Country.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Wayne skits will definitely help when it comes to healing
and recovery for African American women, but also women that
are perfectly imperfected. At the end of the day, like
I said, I am so sick and tired of seeing
people get hurt all because people can't feed into temptation.
(14:02):
See what makes me question things is why is it
that Jesus was able to not be tempted by whatever
the devil puts out there? But yet we as may
every day feed into the seven Daily sins and go
against the ten Commandments and everything that is the Bible
every day. They don't get me wrong, Like I said,
(14:23):
there are a lot of Bibles that left a lot
of books out, and we get it.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
But I've learned it's not about the truth. It's about
a lie.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Everybody prefers a lie over the truth. They prefer somebody
telling them what they want to hear versus what is
real and what is true. Sadly enough, it's sad that
we're in these situations where you have people that claim
(14:56):
they love somebody, but yet they're constantly putting their hands
on somebody or messing with somebody's child, or somebody ends
up unlived, or people are in jail.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
At the end of the day. I hate to see
stuff like this do.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
I hate that people are influenced by negative people and
making it seem like because these people got money, because
they're attractive or because they're good in bed, that you're going.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
To lower yourself to build somebody up.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
You look at a person and you look at their
potential or what you think their potential is, and you decide, oh,
I'm gonna do all of these things to help this
person to be the best version of themselves, and yet
instill that person doesn't see it in themselves. So the
(15:53):
fact that you have people that see things and people
for what they want them to be and who they
think they are the true version of that person.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Is a't problem for me.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
A lot of y'all don't know how to take no
for an answer and understand that that person is not
meant for you.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
The minute they.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Told you no, oops, hold on a second, the minute
that this person told you know, the minute that this
person told you that they're just one friends with benefits,
you should have walked away in the first place. As
soon as the person told you they weren't into you,
you should have just said, you know what, it was
nice to meet you.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
But what happens is people.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Want what they want and don't understand that it has
to be reciprocated.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
A lot of people are.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Going after somebody else's husband, somebody else's wife, somebody's girlfriend,
or their boyfriend. You got people that are because somebody's
telling you to leave somebody alone, you want to continuously
keep dealing with them, thinking they're gonna change, staying with
that person because of the life style, staying with that
(17:01):
person for whatever reason. God never said for you to
stay with someone that is treating you like trash. And
matter of fact, God said you shouldn't be able a
non believer anyway. So I know that in society they're
telling you to go out.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Here and be with men, or be with the.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Men that are interested in you. The problem is some
of these men are not interested in you because they
genuine like you. They're interested in you because you're somebody distable,
You got money, and you have stability, meaning that you
have yourself together, and this person could just come in
(17:43):
your life and just do whatever it is that they
pretty much want to do to you, which doesn't make
it fair and it doesn't make it right because it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
But what I will say is this here, it is
sad that.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
You got people out here that are bamboozled, let us
stray and let 'em up because of what it is
that you won't But it's what you're willing to do
to get what you want, what you're willing to do
for love, that makes it bad because you're doing it
for the wrong people.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
And I get it.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
The people that may not be that may be interested
in you, you may not find attractive, you may not
wanna date, but that does not mean they're not good people. So,
like I said, sometimes the people that you won't ain't
what you need. The people that you may think that
you don't need, you actually do.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
So the point is it's not.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Always about wants, it's more so about needs. For some people,
you're never gonna get what you want, cause you're never
gonna get the type.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Of men that you really, truly speaking won't.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
So even though you may wanna drop dead gorgeous person,
you may have to be realistic and say that's not
gonna happen. Why because you're not society standards of beauty.
A lot of black women may have to set the
fact that these black men.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Don't want you. You might have to let it go
and move forward.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
And I know that's hard to accept, but that's the
main number one reason a lot of people are a
lot of women are single mothers because you went after
what you wanted and the person you want it never
wanted you, but yet they got you pregnant, they had
sex with you, but they didn't want you. So the
one thing about healing and recovery is when you realize
(19:36):
that if you had have never went after the person
you want it and left them where they were and
never dated them, imagine how your life would have been.
Imagine how good your life would be if you didn't
date them type people.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
You'd be happier, would you not?
Speaker 2 (19:58):
You be happier, you'd be in a better place to
be in a healthy place, and you'll be good. But
the problem is you're dating people that you want, but
it's not reciprocated. There are people that are in marriages
that are not getting what they ask for and it's
not reciprocated. You got women every day coming to their
(20:21):
husband saying, how I'm not getting sex enough, how I'm
not getting affectionate enough. How you're always going and you're
always working, and you're next life you never have time.
So again it goes right back to what I said.
Some of y'all are not getting what you give.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
But yet in.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Public you think that these people relationships are fine. Next
thing you know, they're getting divorced. If you look at
Divon Hamilton, not Devon Hamilton, Divon Franklin and Meghan Good,
everybody thought Megan Good and Divon Franklin's relationship was so perfect,
(21:00):
like there was nothing wrong, when in all actuality, there
was plenty that was wrong. The fact that people always
chastise her for what she had on that right there
should have been the number one reason why she should
have never married to Von Franklin.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Now, even though the Von Franklin is a.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Good man, he seems to be, but the reality of
it is the fact that he's in the church. If
he's not with the right type of female trust and believe,
then women are going to basically have a fielding.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
So I get it, don't get me wrong. I do.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
And Megan genuinely, genuinely loves she loves.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
She loved Devon Franklin, but he wasn't she wasn't ready
to have kids. She didn't want kids at the moment.
So at the end of the day, like I said,
you know, I'm not surprised that this stuff is happening
as far as when you look at somebody, y'all keep thinking, oh,
(22:19):
this person got this great relationship and they're gonna be
so good, and they're gonna you see them together and
it seemed like they're happy and everything is all good.
But then when you get down to the layers, then
you find out it ain't everything that you thought it was.
(22:43):
So like I said, I do get it. I do
understand it. Another example of this would be if you
look at the show that comes on Netflix, Young Famous
and African, if you look at Diamond Place and the
fact that he has I think her name is Zula,
(23:05):
I can't remember her name, and then she had he
had a whole other female that he was messing around
with and there's been nothing but a bunch of drama.
The only person he's been with the is the one
and the other girl. But yet and still the other
one was messing around and almost got pregnant. So, like
(23:26):
I said, you know, in the end, you never know
how these things are gonna be. So a lot of
these females, even though they're the girlfriend or the wife,
that man is still treating the side hit and the
groupies like they're actually the wife. This happens all of
(23:51):
the time, more so than not. So don't think that
these things don't happen, because they do. So the sad
part about it all is the fact that you got
people out here that really really think that they're going
to have this relationship and they think that oh, I
(24:15):
got the man, I got the ring, I got all
of these different things, and yeah, you certainly did. But
the problem is is that the person you got is
still out.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Here with other women. So do you really have him,
considering he's given his pen to everybody else. No, you
don't have that man.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
So even though you may think that you have that man,
even though you may think that this person actually wants you,
it does not mean that they do, but I do
get don't get me wrong, I get it better than.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Y'all might think.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
But a lot of y'all are going after people that
do not for the life of you, won't you, and
they don't. They don't want you at all. So you
may think these people won't you, but they don't.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
It's just like the one.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
Show about per perfect Match and the one who won,
they're not even together. So again, when I watch these
reality TV shows, I just look at them and be like, well,
I guess it's not about the money, it's not about
finding love. It's more about just being on a show. So,
(25:51):
like I said, that's why I don't take a lot
of the stuff seriously. But there are a lot of
people out here that are dating for the wrong reasons.
They're not dating because they genuinely want to date. They're
dating because the facts of the matter, they just don't
want to be alone.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Just like this one show.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
It was called The Later Dater, and it was about
some people that went that were older and trying to
find love. At all of them, only one couple actually
made it. There was one person that was just so
picky that she's never gonna find love because she's too
(26:35):
picky and she has all of these expectations that are
really unrealistic. So sometimes what you won't will keep you
from finding the person that is the person for you
because of what you want. So sometimes it's not always
about what you want. Sometimes it's about what you can get.
(26:55):
Now I'm not saying you need to settle, not saying that,
but I'm saying get to know people and look at
them as somebody that you have no idea where they're
gonna fit in your life. And if it turns into
something more, then it turns into that. But that's because
it happens naturally, not because it happens because of the
fact of something just happening now uh uh, not at all.
(27:22):
So I just want people to understand that when it
comes down to these situations, there are a lot of
people that are selfish and they don't care about you,
your feelings, your wants, or your needs.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
It's about them.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
It's about control, it's about being able to have what
they want, but it not being about you. So again,
if you're with someone like that, then you need to
leave them exactly where they are. So, like I said,
I get it, and I even understand it. But the
(27:58):
fact that you're going out it's somebody that all in
all does not want you, then you need to leave
them where they at.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Because it ain't worth it.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Seriously, it ain't like I'm probably about to end up
watching the Move Fossa. I love Move Fossa, I hate
I gotta type my stuff in Jesus. But yeah, this
stuff happens all the time. So now I gotta go
(28:30):
into Disney. So now I gotta click on Disney, cause
it's a lot of stuff on Disney I haven't seen.
I might watch The Little Mermaid. I might watch Move Fossa. Yeah,
Aaron Pierre, that's Move Fassa. But let's talk about it
for a minute. I still in the back of my
(28:51):
mind everybody always thinks that that Gianna Taylor and Aaron
pierrre together.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
I'm not convinced. I don't think they're together like that.
I don't. I don't think they're together like that at all.
I think they are just.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Two people that are basically essentially you know. But nah,
I don't think they're together like that. Bail me one second, shoe,
I'll get this pass code, So let give me just
one second. Able to put a pass code in, so
(29:31):
bail me just one second. They put this pass code
in right quick, Okay, I just wanna make sure I
I just wanna make sure I put the pass code
in because you gotta put a pass code in, so
I just wanna make sure that I did. But anyway,
I just want people to understand that, don't get me wrong.
(29:54):
Love is a beautiful, beautiful thing. It is with the
right person. If it's with the right person. But at
the end of the day, sometimes we gotta understand that
sometimes things ain't always the best of the best, but
(30:15):
it is what it is. I'm just trying to make
sure this is the same one that came out. No,
that's twenty nineteen. So yeah, I just tell people like
this here if if it's a you know, there's some
people out here that are good people. Don't get me wrong,
there are. It's just all about finding the person that
(30:37):
works for you.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
It's not just.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
About what they look like, how much money they got.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
It's about their character. Are they a godly person? Are
they a believer?
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Are are your wants and needs a line? Is this
person still out there messing around with multiple women? You
ask a lot of questions. You gotta ask yourself, but
in the end you'll get the answers that you won't.
But understan that sometimes not everybody gonna be there for
you like you are for them.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
That's just the way it is.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
It's always gonna be the haves and the have nots,
and there's gonna be people that make sure that certain
people are the have nots. You donna always have those
people that are gonna sit up there and make you
feel less than what you are, or make you feel
like you don't belong. I mean, it's just like Mouf Foster.
I haven't had a chance to watch it yet, but
(31:30):
I'm going to. I was gonna wait till my ch
I was gonna wait till I got home my child
to watch it so we can watch it together.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
But he's probably already watched it already. More than likely,
if I don't know no better, he probably has already
seen it.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
So, like I said, at the end of the day,
we all have things that happen, just like MOFOSTERA wasn't
even Scar's real brother, but yet he ended up king.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
So in the end, there's.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
Gonna always be jealousy and envy. All of that's gonna
be a part of it, unfortunately in the life that
we live.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
But as long as you are.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
Working on yourself and focusing on yourself, as long as
no matter what you go through, that you land on
two feet, meaning that no matter what happens, you haven't
given up everything. You still have a place to land,
you still have a foundation. You survive despite everything that happened.
(32:32):
That's what matters. And do I think black women need
to heal you absolutely do. I think people imperfectly imperfected
need to heal, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
Because you have to accept things for what they are.
And what I would say to black women, if black
men don't want you, it's okay that they don't. It's
not the end of the world that they don't.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
And that doesn't mean that every black man doesn't want you.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
This means the ones you want don't want you. Why
would you want them?
Speaker 2 (33:05):
Why chase after somebody that basically essentially told you multiple
times they don't want you. Now you've become obsessed, and
now you're going through obsessive compulsive behavior trying to chase
down somebody that never wanted you in the first place.
I really don't see the point in that. Honestly, it's
(33:26):
not gonna get you nowhere chasing behind that person. The
only thing that's gonna happen is you're gonna get hurt.
The person are gonna use you. So, yeah, they don't
want you, but it don't mean they won't sleep with you,
doesn't mean they won't take everything they can get from you,
ask you to do all these things.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
For them, and you ended up in jail somewhere.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
Anytime somebody wants somebody else, that means they don't want
you no more. And there's no amount of anything you
can do to stop them from wanting their person, and
that's what they want, and you can do about it
except leave them where they at and let them go
find it. The problem is is you have a lot
(34:08):
of people that basically essentially are lying to people, making
people believe they want to be in these relationships, and
in all actuality, they don't. So at the end of
the day, it's no better when the other person is
the person playing games with you and lying to you.
And it's even worse when you're trying to get rid
(34:31):
of all the people that are dealing with so you'll
be the last one standing.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
That's even more bizarre.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
So in the end of this conversation, I would say
to y'all, stop wanting things and people that don't want you.
If it ain't meant for you to be there, then
find something else or create something that is of your
own instead of chasing behind people that you shouldn't be
chasing behind in the first place. With that being said,
I just want to thank y'all for joining me for
(34:57):
this episode.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
I will do a part.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
Two to this episode, but I just want to keep
this short, simple and sweet because I am packing so
next weekend. I will not be on any podcast next
week because I'll be moving far as the weekend. So
because i'll be packing next week, I probably won't be
doing any podcast at all until after I get moved
(35:22):
and settled and everything is on the up and up.
So I will see y'all the week after next in
our episode, I appreciate y'all. I love y'all because without y'all,
there's no me. I mean nothing without y'all. Just continue
to be the beautiful queens that you are on both sides.
Continue to be the beautiful kings that you are on
(35:44):
are perfectly imperfected, and just because you're not perfect does
not mean you're not deserving and you're not worthy, and
you're not a king or a queen, and the same
thing to my African melan and queens.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
But that being said, I will see y'all later. By y'all,
Hey y'all.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Hey, welcome to my podcast, African Melanin Queens and Perfectly
Imperfection Radio Podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
I'm your host, Goddess Asha Maria.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
I'm'a thank you guys for joining me for this episode.
If you guys like the commentary I wanna hear more,
please go to speaker dot com forward slash African melanin
Queens and Perfectly Imperfection Radio Podcast. If you guys wanna
hear all of my podcasts, you can go to Spotify, Google, iHeartRadio, Amazon,
(00:34):
you can go to a cash Box and multiple other
streaming companies as well. A little about me. I'm a
certified recovery, life coach and healing coach as well as
a mental health practitioner who all about helping people on
their paths and their journeys to a new em better
you through self discovery. I help people when it comes
to African American women and women of African descent and
(00:58):
women that are African to basically heal from the generational
trauma that we've experienced from everything from slavery to being
single mothers to everything that we've dealt with as African
descent and African people around the world. As for my
(01:21):
Perfectly Imperfection channel, I help people that have low self esteem,
low self low self value, people that basically are not
chosen because of what they look like, because of their
flaws and imperfections, or because of the mistakes they've made
in their past. These are people that have been bullied
(01:44):
throughout their whole entire lives and have constantly been treated
any in any kind of way, and they're feeling like
they don't deserve to be here. These are people that
end up unlive in themselves because the bullying and the
harassing and the fact that they feel like they are
(02:05):
not worthy of certain things. These are people that basically
are dealing with post traumatic slave disorder, and this is
a disorder where people have been treated like slaves their
whole entire lives. They feel like that they don't deserve
to keep what they have, that they feel like that
(02:27):
they have to do all of these things in order
to be in relationships with people, and they're willing to
give up everything to the point of where they end
up in worse, very bad situations, like, for example, you
got people sitting in jail for the love of somebody.
You have young girls that unerlive with their parents for
(02:51):
the love of somebody or vice versa. Now they're both
sitting in prison and they're not with the person they
unlive their parents for. These are people that are in
prison because they committed crimes.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
In groups, and now they're all sitting in prison.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
These are people that basically get taken advantage of because
they're genuinely good people and they are seat fillers, captain
saber holes, builde bears, build a dolls, and they are
people pleasers. Now, what I want people to understand about
these particular things on both sides of these podcasts, regardless
(03:29):
of whether you are African descent African American, or whether
you are quote unquote a black woman.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
I need people to.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Understand that on both sides, you've been through some type
of post traumatic slave disorder. I'm afraid, I think on
both sides, whether it be a woman that's overweight, a
woman that has ezema, a woman that has pimple, a
(04:01):
woman that went through hair loss, a woman that had
to cut her hair because of cancer, a woman that's
going through illness, a woman that basically was out here
being promiscuous or in the sex industry or humanly trafficked,
or the n word, which is molestation.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
It doesn't matter what the person is.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
The point is we've all been through some type of
trauma because we gave ourselves to people that weren't worth
us in the first place.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
We lowered ourselves for people that basically essentially.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Treated us like trash, and the whole entire time, they're
still out here looking for someone else. That is the
one thing that Black women and African descent women and
African American women have in common with people that are
perfectly imperfected. Y'all have the same thing in common. And
that's why I wanted to do these together today. At
(05:01):
the end of the day, you have people that look
in the mirror and they don't like what they see.
You have a lot of people that were wearing makeup
to cover up flaws and imperfections or just wear it,
just be wearing it.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
When it all actuality. Makeup wasn't for people that didn't
need it.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
It was for women that went through abusive relationships, women
that had to cover their faces so nobody would see
the bruises, or it was for women to have br
blemishes and ezema or pimples, and it was a way
of covering that up, but it was never supposed to
be for women that had nothing wrong. But now everybody's
(05:39):
wearing makeup. The problem with makeup is that it clogged
your pores, which in terms toxins is getting into your skin,
which in.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Terms is making you older.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
That's why for me, I don't recommend young girls wearing
makeup at all because they don't need it.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
A lot of y'all don't need makeup.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
It's just like a lot of people that go and
they do tanning, and they end up putting chemicals in
their bodies that are not organic or holistic, and they
end up getting really, really sick, and you end up
having cancer because you're putting stuff in your body that
(06:22):
doesn't necessarily belong because of society's standards, just like sex sells.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
And yet still that didn't.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Come from unattractive women, and that certainly did not come
from any type of African descent or African person or
black person. So at the end of the day, what
I've learned to do is I'm not trying to compete
with any other race of women when it comes to
men and their choices and what it is that they
(06:50):
want to do. I'm not losing weight to be in
a relationship. I'm not being healthy to be in a relationship.
I'm being healthy because it's the right thing to do
and it's.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
What I need to do.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
What I want people to understand is your whole entire
life has been based on somebody else. So for example,
you have kids that were in the industry and their
mama's in them very much, spent all their money. When
they turn eighteen, they have nothing to off, nothing at
all to look forward to, and now they're broke. So
(07:28):
now the child has to emancipate themselves or sue their
parents for the money. And what happened with Gary Coleman,
he lost because at the end of the day, he
was a kid, whereas Webster he won his case. He
was the first child in America to emancipate himself from
his parents. So when you get older, it goes from
(07:51):
that to everybody else, friends, family, romantic relationships, jobs. That
part about it is you got people out here playing
games and they're basically using you for something, whether it
be you're out here showing everybody that you've got money,
(08:11):
showing everybody what you got, but not understanding. By doing that,
you're having negative people being Lord to you having negative
people to come into your world and cause a bunch
of god for sakend confusion that you really don't want.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
For example, there was a.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Young lady that says she couldn't go to the Chris
Brown concert because God told her nothing to go. But
my response is God told you to bring people back
to God.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
If Jesus could be around the.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Devil himself and be able to for forty days not
feed into anything that the devil will put.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Out there, why can't you so at the end of
the day.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Don't get me wrong somebody that is all for hanging
out doing things like that. But I've been listening to
a lot of African skits and today is about the
fact that you have a lot of people, especially siblings
in particular, and husbands and wives and friends and family that.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
When you have money, they are all in your face.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
When you have family, it's like if you're the one
making money, they're expecting you to take care of them.
They're expecting to live off you, but then turn around
and trash you in the same token. So while you're
out here not being able to enjoy the fruits of
(09:50):
your labor, everybody else is enjoying it, but yet they're
not working. Now, don't get me wrong, I have no
problems with being there my mama, I don't.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
I have no problems with supporting her.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
I have no problems with doing none of that because
my mom has always supported me. That's different because she
supports me the same way I support her. Like, for example,
I'm moving and she's sending me money to help me
with my move, which I appreciate, and I plan on
paying her back.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
But I'm paying her back her money. Now with the
situation with.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Some people, they'll ask you to borrow money but won't
pay it back. So I learned the word borrow is
the same thing as can I have, because they're not
gonna pay you back unless you have something in right
in stating they gotta pay you back your money and
how long is gonna take them to pay it back?
Speaker 1 (10:49):
They're not gonna pay it back.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
He don't even say the word can I have no
more because they know if you say the word can
I have, you're not gonna give it to them. But
they'll say the word can I borrow, which is another
word for I'm gonna borrow the money, but I'm not
gonna pay you back. It's not even give and give anymore,
it's give and take. Relationships are no longer about being
true friends.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
It's about what can I get out of this person?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
How can I use this person and take advantage of
this person to manipulate and bamboozoo and lead that to.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Person that's right?
Speaker 2 (11:21):
How can I convince this person to do all kinds
of things? How can I get this person to be
the person that no matter what it is I do,
no matter how many times I screw up, they always
gonna be there mommy, daddy, child dynamic, because that's what your.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Parents do every time you screw up.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Your parents are the ones that are there for you.
Your parents are the ones that got your back. Your
parents are the ones that when you go through something,
are always gonna be there. Well, guess what now, other
people think that you're supposed to be there, like you're
supposed to be their parents.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
And everybody keeps.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Talking about they don't want fifty to fifty. No, you
want to parents, You want a child. You don't want
an adult, because an adult is fifty to fifty, not
sixty forty, not eighty twenty, not seventy thirty or ninety ten,
it's fifty fifty. You have a lot of people that's
out here that are sitting up here trying to get
(12:21):
people to do things, and then when the consequence happens,
it's every man for themselves. So when y'all committed the crime,
it was okay for y'all to do it. But now
all of a sudden, you're getting caught. Now, all of
a sudden, everybody wants to basically be the one to say,
I didn't have nothing to do with it. The only
reason I did it was because it is. You did
it because that's what you wanted to do. You didn't
(12:41):
do it because you had to. You did it because
that's just what you wanted to do. You want to
be out here and commit infidelity. You want to be
out there and be unfaithful. That is what you wanted
to do. It was a choice that you made. And
the sad part about it is, but I watched the country,
Wayne Skits, and I decided on my African melon and Queen,
(13:02):
I am gonna go over these African over these country,
Wayne Skits, because we definitely need to have a conversation
about these country, Wayne Skits.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
So I'm gonna start.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Doing the Country Wayne skits on the African Melon and
Queen platform, So you will see Country Wayne titles, but
it will be a title, but the Country Wayne skits
will be a part of that and we will be
listening to the skits and when we go live then
(13:37):
you'll actually get to see the skits.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
So I feel like the Country.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Wayne skits will definitely help when it comes to healing
and recovery for African American women, but also women that
are perfectly imperfected. At the end of the day, like
I said, I am so sick and tired of seeing
people get hurt all because people can't feed into temptation.
(14:02):
See what makes me question things is why is it
that Jesus was able to not be tempted by whatever
the devil puts out there? But yet we as may
every day feed into the seven Daily sins and go
against the ten Commandments and everything that is the Bible
every day. They don't get me wrong, Like I said,
(14:23):
there are a lot of Bibles that left a lot
of books out, and we get it.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
But I've learned it's not about the truth. It's about
a lie.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Everybody prefers a lie over the truth. They prefer somebody
telling them what they want to hear versus what is
real and what is true. Sadly enough, it's sad that
we're in these situations where you have people that claim
(14:56):
they love somebody, but yet they're constantly putting their hands
on somebody or messing with somebody's child, or somebody ends
up unlived, or people are in jail.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
At the end of the day. I hate to see
stuff like this do.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
I hate that people are influenced by negative people and
making it seem like because these people got money, because
they're attractive or because they're good in bed, that you're going.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
To lower yourself to build somebody up.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
You look at a person and you look at their
potential or what you think their potential is, and you decide, oh,
I'm gonna do all of these things to help this
person to be the best version of themselves, and yet
instill that person doesn't see it in themselves. So the
(15:53):
fact that you have people that see things and people
for what they want them to be and who they
think they are the true version of that person.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Is a't problem for me.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
A lot of y'all don't know how to take no
for an answer and understand that that person is not
meant for you.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
The minute they.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Told you no, oops, hold on a second, the minute
that this person told you know, the minute that this
person told you that they're just one friends with benefits,
you should have walked away in the first place. As
soon as the person told you they weren't into you,
you should have just said, you know what, it was
nice to meet you.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
But what happens is people.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Want what they want and don't understand that it has
to be reciprocated.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
A lot of people are.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Going after somebody else's husband, somebody else's wife, somebody's girlfriend,
or their boyfriend. You got people that are because somebody's
telling you to leave somebody alone, you want to continuously
keep dealing with them, thinking they're gonna change, staying with
that person because of the life style, staying with that
(17:01):
person for whatever reason. God never said for you to
stay with someone that is treating you like trash. And
matter of fact, God said you shouldn't be able a
non believer anyway. So I know that in society they're
telling you to go out.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Here and be with men, or be with the.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Men that are interested in you. The problem is some
of these men are not interested in you because they
genuine like you. They're interested in you because you're somebody distable,
You got money, and you have stability, meaning that you
have yourself together, and this person could just come in
(17:43):
your life and just do whatever it is that they
pretty much want to do to you, which doesn't make
it fair and it doesn't make it right because it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
But what I will say is this here, it is
sad that.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
You got people out here that are bamboozled, let us
stray and let 'em up because of what it is
that you won't But it's what you're willing to do
to get what you want, what you're willing to do
for love, that makes it bad because you're doing it
for the wrong people.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
And I get it.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
The people that may not be that may be interested
in you, you may not find attractive, you may not
wanna date, but that does not mean they're not good people. So,
like I said, sometimes the people that you won't ain't
what you need. The people that you may think that
you don't need, you actually do.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
So the point is it's not.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Always about wants, it's more so about needs. For some people,
you're never gonna get what you want, cause you're never
gonna get the type.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Of men that you really, truly speaking won't.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
So even though you may wanna drop dead gorgeous person,
you may have to be realistic and say that's not
gonna happen. Why because you're not society standards of beauty.
A lot of black women may have to set the
fact that these black men.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Don't want you. You might have to let it go
and move forward.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
And I know that's hard to accept, but that's the
main number one reason a lot of people are a
lot of women are single mothers because you went after
what you wanted and the person you want it never
wanted you, but yet they got you pregnant, they had
sex with you, but they didn't want you. So the
one thing about healing and recovery is when you realize
(19:36):
that if you had have never went after the person
you want it and left them where they were and
never dated them, imagine how your life would have been.
Imagine how good your life would be if you didn't
date them type people.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
You'd be happier, would you not?
Speaker 2 (19:58):
You be happier, you'd be in a better place to
be in a healthy place, and you'll be good. But
the problem is you're dating people that you want, but
it's not reciprocated. There are people that are in marriages
that are not getting what they ask for and it's
not reciprocated. You got women every day coming to their
(20:21):
husband saying, how I'm not getting sex enough, how I'm
not getting affectionate enough. How you're always going and you're
always working, and you're next life you never have time.
So again it goes right back to what I said.
Some of y'all are not getting what you give.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
But yet in.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Public you think that these people relationships are fine. Next
thing you know, they're getting divorced. If you look at
Divon Hamilton, not Devon Hamilton, Divon Franklin and Meghan Good,
everybody thought Megan Good and Divon Franklin's relationship was so perfect,
(21:00):
like there was nothing wrong, when in all actuality, there
was plenty that was wrong. The fact that people always
chastise her for what she had on that right there
should have been the number one reason why she should
have never married to Von Franklin.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Now, even though the Von Franklin is a.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Good man, he seems to be, but the reality of
it is the fact that he's in the church. If
he's not with the right type of female trust and believe,
then women are going to basically have a fielding.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
So I get it, don't get me wrong. I do.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
And Megan genuinely, genuinely loves she loves.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
She loved Devon Franklin, but he wasn't she wasn't ready
to have kids. She didn't want kids at the moment.
So at the end of the day, like I said,
you know, I'm not surprised that this stuff is happening
as far as when you look at somebody, y'all keep thinking, oh,
(22:19):
this person got this great relationship and they're gonna be
so good, and they're gonna you see them together and
it seemed like they're happy and everything is all good.
But then when you get down to the layers, then
you find out it ain't everything that you thought it was.
(22:43):
So like I said, I do get it. I do
understand it. Another example of this would be if you
look at the show that comes on Netflix, Young Famous
and African, if you look at Diamond Place and the
fact that he has I think her name is Zula,
(23:05):
I can't remember her name, and then she had he
had a whole other female that he was messing around
with and there's been nothing but a bunch of drama.
The only person he's been with the is the one
and the other girl. But yet and still the other
one was messing around and almost got pregnant. So, like
(23:26):
I said, you know, in the end, you never know
how these things are gonna be. So a lot of
these females, even though they're the girlfriend or the wife,
that man is still treating the side hit and the
groupies like they're actually the wife. This happens all of
(23:51):
the time, more so than not. So don't think that
these things don't happen, because they do. So the sad
part about it all is the fact that you got
people out here that really really think that they're going
to have this relationship and they think that oh, I
(24:15):
got the man, I got the ring, I got all
of these different things, and yeah, you certainly did. But
the problem is is that the person you got is
still out.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Here with other women. So do you really have him,
considering he's given his pen to everybody else. No, you
don't have that man.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
So even though you may think that you have that man,
even though you may think that this person actually wants you,
it does not mean that they do, but I do
get don't get me wrong, I get it better than.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Y'all might think.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
But a lot of y'all are going after people that
do not for the life of you, won't you, and
they don't. They don't want you at all. So you
may think these people won't you, but they don't.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
It's just like the one.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
Show about per perfect Match and the one who won,
they're not even together. So again, when I watch these
reality TV shows, I just look at them and be like, well,
I guess it's not about the money, it's not about
finding love. It's more about just being on a show. So,
(25:51):
like I said, that's why I don't take a lot
of the stuff seriously. But there are a lot of
people out here that are dating for the wrong reasons.
They're not dating because they genuinely want to date. They're
dating because the facts of the matter, they just don't
want to be alone.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Just like this one show.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
It was called The Later Dater, and it was about
some people that went that were older and trying to
find love. At all of them, only one couple actually
made it. There was one person that was just so
picky that she's never gonna find love because she's too
(26:35):
picky and she has all of these expectations that are
really unrealistic. So sometimes what you won't will keep you
from finding the person that is the person for you
because of what you want. So sometimes it's not always
about what you want. Sometimes it's about what you can get.
(26:55):
Now I'm not saying you need to settle, not saying that,
but I'm saying get to know people and look at
them as somebody that you have no idea where they're
gonna fit in your life. And if it turns into
something more, then it turns into that. But that's because
it happens naturally, not because it happens because of the
fact of something just happening now uh uh, not at all.
(27:22):
So I just want people to understand that when it
comes down to these situations, there are a lot of
people that are selfish and they don't care about you,
your feelings, your wants, or your needs.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
It's about them.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
It's about control, it's about being able to have what
they want, but it not being about you. So again,
if you're with someone like that, then you need to
leave them exactly where they are. So, like I said,
I get it, and I even understand it. But the
(27:58):
fact that you're going out it's somebody that all in
all does not want you, then you need to leave
them where they at.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Because it ain't worth it.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Seriously, it ain't like I'm probably about to end up
watching the Move Fossa. I love Move Fossa, I hate
I gotta type my stuff in Jesus. But yeah, this
stuff happens all the time. So now I gotta go
(28:30):
into Disney. So now I gotta click on Disney, cause
it's a lot of stuff on Disney I haven't seen.
I might watch The Little Mermaid. I might watch Move Fossa. Yeah,
Aaron Pierre, that's Move Fassa. But let's talk about it
for a minute. I still in the back of my
(28:51):
mind everybody always thinks that that Gianna Taylor and Aaron
pierrre together.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
I'm not convinced. I don't think they're together like that.
I don't. I don't think they're together like that at all.
I think they are just.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Two people that are basically essentially you know. But nah,
I don't think they're together like that. Bail me one second, shoe,
I'll get this pass code, So let give me just
one second. Able to put a pass code in, so
(29:31):
bail me just one second. They put this pass code
in right quick, Okay, I just wanna make sure I
I just wanna make sure I put the pass code
in because you gotta put a pass code in, so
I just wanna make sure that I did. But anyway,
I just want people to understand that, don't get me wrong.
(29:54):
Love is a beautiful, beautiful thing. It is with the
right person. If it's with the right person. But at
the end of the day, sometimes we gotta understand that
sometimes things ain't always the best of the best, but
(30:15):
it is what it is. I'm just trying to make
sure this is the same one that came out. No,
that's twenty nineteen. So yeah, I just tell people like
this here if if it's a you know, there's some
people out here that are good people. Don't get me wrong,
there are. It's just all about finding the person that
(30:37):
works for you.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
It's not just.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
About what they look like, how much money they got.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
It's about their character. Are they a godly person? Are
they a believer?
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Are are your wants and needs a line? Is this
person still out there messing around with multiple women? You
ask a lot of questions. You gotta ask yourself, but
in the end you'll get the answers that you won't.
But understan that sometimes not everybody gonna be there for
you like you are for them.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
That's just the way it is.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
It's always gonna be the haves and the have nots,
and there's gonna be people that make sure that certain
people are the have nots. You donna always have those
people that are gonna sit up there and make you
feel less than what you are, or make you feel
like you don't belong. I mean, it's just like Mouf Foster.
I haven't had a chance to watch it yet, but
(31:30):
I'm going to. I was gonna wait till my ch
I was gonna wait till I got home my child
to watch it so we can watch it together.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
But he's probably already watched it already. More than likely,
if I don't know no better, he probably has already
seen it.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
So, like I said, at the end of the day,
we all have things that happen, just like MOFOSTERA wasn't
even Scar's real brother, but yet he ended up king.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
So in the end, there's.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
Gonna always be jealousy and envy. All of that's gonna
be a part of it, unfortunately in the life that
we live.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
But as long as you are.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
Working on yourself and focusing on yourself, as long as
no matter what you go through, that you land on
two feet, meaning that no matter what happens, you haven't
given up everything. You still have a place to land,
you still have a foundation. You survive despite everything that happened.
(32:32):
That's what matters. And do I think black women need
to heal you absolutely do. I think people imperfectly imperfected
need to heal, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
Because you have to accept things for what they are.
And what I would say to black women, if black
men don't want you, it's okay that they don't. It's
not the end of the world that they don't.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
And that doesn't mean that every black man doesn't want you.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
This means the ones you want don't want you. Why
would you want them?
Speaker 2 (33:05):
Why chase after somebody that basically essentially told you multiple
times they don't want you. Now you've become obsessed, and
now you're going through obsessive compulsive behavior trying to chase
down somebody that never wanted you in the first place.
I really don't see the point in that. Honestly, it's
(33:26):
not gonna get you nowhere chasing behind that person. The
only thing that's gonna happen is you're gonna get hurt.
The person are gonna use you. So, yeah, they don't
want you, but it don't mean they won't sleep with you,
doesn't mean they won't take everything they can get from you,
ask you to do all these things.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
For them, and you ended up in jail somewhere.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
Anytime somebody wants somebody else, that means they don't want
you no more. And there's no amount of anything you
can do to stop them from wanting their person, and
that's what they want, and you can do about it
except leave them where they at and let them go
find it. The problem is is you have a lot
(34:08):
of people that basically essentially are lying to people, making
people believe they want to be in these relationships, and
in all actuality, they don't. So at the end of
the day, it's no better when the other person is
the person playing games with you and lying to you.
And it's even worse when you're trying to get rid
(34:31):
of all the people that are dealing with so you'll
be the last one standing.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
That's even more bizarre.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
So in the end of this conversation, I would say
to y'all, stop wanting things and people that don't want you.
If it ain't meant for you to be there, then
find something else or create something that is of your
own instead of chasing behind people that you shouldn't be
chasing behind in the first place. With that being said,
I just want to thank y'all for joining me for
(34:57):
this episode.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
I will do a part.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
Two to this episode, but I just want to keep
this short, simple and sweet because I am packing so
next weekend. I will not be on any podcast next
week because I'll be moving far as the weekend. So
because i'll be packing next week, I probably won't be
doing any podcast at all until after I get moved
(35:22):
and settled and everything is on the up and up.
So I will see y'all the week after next in
our episode, I appreciate y'all. I love y'all because without y'all,
there's no me. I mean nothing without y'all. Just continue
to be the beautiful queens that you are on both sides.
Continue to be the beautiful kings that you are on
(35:44):
are perfectly imperfected, and just because you're not perfect does
not mean you're not deserving and you're not worthy, and
you're not a king or a queen, and the same
thing to my African melan and queens.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
But that being said, I will see y'all later. By y'all,
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