June 1, 2024 • 69 mins
Alvin and German conduct a great conversation with President of liveworkstrategize LLC, Patricia Hayling Price, ’76. Leading her executive coaching and leadership development consulting practice, Patricia supports individuals and organizations striving for higher levels of effectiveness and reward. She assists businesses in attracting, developing, retaining, and leveraging top talent, and helps individuals achieve distinctive outcomes by enhancing self-awareness, sensitivity to interpersonal dynamics, and effective communication skills. Before founding her practice, Patricia spent over two decades at IBM, where she held numerous domestic and global leadership roles in sales, consulting, and marketing. Her passion for professional development drives her work with students, mid-level managers, CEOs, and even a US Ambassador. Patricia also serves as Managing Director of Executive Programs for Management Leadership for Tomorrow (MLT), where she notably designed and delivered the stellar Career Advancement Program (CAP). Additionally, Patricia is a member of the National Forest Foundation Board of Directors (NFF) and serves on the board of the Harlem Junior Tennis & Education Program. A Charles P. Dana Fellow and Thomas J. Watson Fellow, she graduated from Colgate University with a degree in Religion.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
The following podcast is being brought toyou by the Defile Life podcast Network.
Welcome to Aftergate, Powered by theDefile Life Network. Are You all Ready?
Aftergate is a podcast series highlighting Colgatealumni of color in their professional endeavors.
(00:23):
Aftergate Are You all Ready? Aftergate? Is hosted by Alvin Glimp aka
al and Herman Dubois aka A JerryAlready. We are doing Aftergate because Colgate
University has produced innovators who have changedthe world every day, Yet many alumni
of color and the mainstream Colgate communityare unaware of the amazing accomplishments of alums
(00:45):
of color? Are you all ready? Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome
back to Aftergate. This is yourboy, Alvin Glimp and I am co
host of this weekly podcast. Itis just amazing that we are in season
(01:07):
four. It is just a blessingthat we are over eighty episodes. So
I am just tickled that I havethe honor and privilege to be part of
this podcast that is just all aboutdocumenting and amplifying the stories of Kogate's alumni
(01:29):
of color. So it's been mypleasure to be on this journey with my
co host my rider died homie fromthe summer of nineteen eighty seven. Mister
Hedmind Dubois Akaed Jerry, How areyou doing? My brother? What is
up? My brother? All aswell? All is well here in the
Sunshine State. Attended a high schoolgraduation today of one of my cohorter students.
(01:53):
It's a beautiful thing to see that, you know, the work we've
been doing with all but thirty yearsis still impactful, still making a relevant
difference in our community where we're empoweringyoung minds. And so it just needed
that today to be grounded once againand why we deal with everything we deal
with because it's affecting the lives ofyoung people. And so today was today
(02:15):
was moving for me personally. Andsome of these students will becoming the FIU
and being as freshmen, and sowe're gonna keep rocking with them and supporting
them through their through their educational andlife journey. So very positive. Yeah,
I love this time of the year. A big part of the reason
I love it is because of thehigh school the college graduations. I actually
(02:38):
attended one on Thursday myself. Myniece Bailey graduated turned herself around in high
school and actually got an award,and so I love graduation. My daughter
asked me a question, She said, Daddy, how many graduations you think
you've been to in your life?And like, as we kind of scratched
down, I think I'm over onehundred probably more right, probably more when
(03:01):
you think about you know, professionally, and then all of mine and others
that I've attended. So I reallyappreciate that you have a picture of our
graduation day behind you. It alwaysbrings back great memories. Oh yeah,
But is it alright with you thatI cut the banter short because I'm excited
(03:24):
to hear the story of this week'sguests. So is it? Can I
get your blessing to invite this week'sguest into the studio? My brother?
I absolutely. The church has beena waiting for a very long time for
Sister Price to be joining us.So Deacon out please proceed without further ado.
(03:46):
After Gate listeners, covie AOC.It's my pleasure, my honor to
have the one, the only PatriciaHaling Price class of nineteen seventy six on
Aftergate. Welcome to Aftergate System.Thank you so much for having me.
(04:15):
Definitely our honor. Before we kindof run through the normal protocol of our
show, but definitely love to touchon a question you asked kind of coming
into it, which is what isthe purpose of Aftergate? What are we
trying to accomplish? And so Ithink and I'm definitely love to hear your
thoughts to Jerry. At the endof the day, what we realize is
(04:39):
that alumni of color don't really understandand appreciate the value of this network and
what people are doing. And soI think what we wanted to do initially
was can we create a platform thatamplifies documents what people have done, what
they're doing, what they're accomplishing,what their lives are like Gate, that's
(05:00):
the title of the show, andthen allow other AOC to hear it and
then leverage it, right Like,that's kind of the original intent. I
think as we've gone through this process, it's grown in terms of what we're
trying to accomplish, because what we'relearning is that one understanding what people's lives
were on campus and even before cogateis extremely valuable for other alums as well
(05:28):
as students on campus, that theycould hear it and benefit from it.
And I think the other part isjust that it has been a way for
many to express and share the goodbut in many instances the bad experiences they
had at COCATE. And I thinkwhat it has allowed is for it to
be a healing for not just thatindividual, but we like to talk about
(05:50):
it, it's like a group healingbecause as others are hearing it, there's
this sense of wow, you knowwhat, I can relate to that experience
and hearing that person share it,I think has allowed us as co hosts
to heal, but many of ourlisteners as well. So I'll pass it
(06:10):
to Jerry to see there's anything hewants to add. But I think that
really is where I'm at in termsof what this four year journey has looked
like. I think you summed itup perfectly and covered several bases, and
I can't, you know, sortof highlight any one more than the other.
But what has been I think forme fascinating aside from the listening to
(06:35):
the testimonials, because that's what Ireally feel like. They've been testimonials that
we hear from folks on sort ofhow their experience impacted their lives right,
And for me, when I thinkof this idea most of us, if
not a good percentage, I wouldcare to say maybe pushing ninety percent.
(06:57):
We were that first generation in ourfamilies to go to this higher ed experience.
And when you look at it froma longitudo study, and when I
think of it as a so andmajor, you know, I think of
how people's trajectories and families have beenimpacted, and so you know, this
higher education value, this this youknow, acquisition of the opportunity. When
(07:24):
you hear the stories of the greatnessand I'm talking greatness, I'm always like
when I hear people's journeys and whatthey've accomplished and and and you know,
I'm not saying we can give Kolgateall the credit, right, because some
of these qualities became with too Kogate, But there was something about surviving Kolgate
that made us equipped to survive inthe world. And I have heard some
(07:48):
amazing uh testimonies from from from folkspersonally and professionally that have made me sort
of feel a different kind of wayabout Kolgate that I may have it done
in the past, Like there wasa sense of pride, like you know,
what we have greatness amongst us andwe have not done a good job
in the storytelling of that. Andso this is what I think Aftergate had
(08:13):
surprisingly did for me was make mereally take a step back and be like,
Yo, there were some perks,there were some takeaways from the Kogate
experience, despite the post traumatic Cogatedisorder that many people, many of us
suffer from. So we'll save thatfor later in the show when we talk
about reparations on behalf of Kogate.But that's it. And one last thing
(08:37):
I think when we talk about thegreatness, like while we have had some
judges and doctors and like some amazingin terms of what I think coming into
the show we would have defined greataccomplishments, but I think what we've learned
all of the episodes is that theyeach of us have bloom where we were
ever planted. And I think it'sthis thing that at what I've appreciated is
(09:01):
how great AOC is, whether youare a corporate attorney, whether you're an
entrepreneur, whether you're a photographer,whether you're a woman or a man who's
decided I'm going to raise a family. I just think when we are hearing
the stories and what people's journeys havebeen like story by story by story,
(09:28):
they all have been amazing. Soin our Aftergate tradition, one of the
things we like to start it offwith is really give some context for our
listeners. Is this an individual thatwe gross passed with in the past,
that we've gone to school with?To my knowledge, I don't think we've
actually cross paths, like is therea you know? Please correct me if
(09:54):
I'm wrong, But this is aninstance where I don't. I can't place
a story and say we met here? So am am I wrong in my
memory? Because I am, youknow, fifty four or so. I
definitely claim my memory what it usedto be. But have we met?
(10:18):
We have not. I am seventyyears old, so there's a reason we
haven't met. Okay, okay,So that leads to the next question always
then, how did you hear aboutafter Gate mature? I was asked to
do the keynote at Coldgate. Itwas the occasion of fifty years of women
(10:41):
at Colgate University, and I wasin one of my leadership's development programs actually
more recently mentioned my name as someonethey should consider to do the keynote,
And as turned out, I did, and I think that's how my name
(11:05):
popped up for you guys, becauseI heard of you around that time.
And I want to say two yearsago. Okay, it wasn't last year.
It must have been the year before. Yes, So she was assessing
for two years whether or not shewas going to great us with her story
and the guys, these youngs isabout. I was so busy between work,
(11:31):
travel and family and life that itjust it just became difficult, and
I wanted to give it its properdue. I didn't want to just Okay,
what do you want, Let's I'min my car driving, let's just
do I didn't want to do that. I wanted to give it the give
it the respect that it deserves.Thank you greatly, appreciate, appreciate it
(11:54):
much appreciated. So then let's go. Let's see. You are last of
seventy six from Koki. You graduatehigh school then, class of seventy two.
I did, so. First questionis where are you from? Wow?
Depends how you mean that exactly,however you like to take more important
(12:18):
how you mean it? Well,I was born in New York City.
Okay, we moved to Newark,New Jersey, where my father was in
Obgyn. He practiced in Newark.We then my mom's Cuban, my dad's
Caribbean. We then moved to SouthOrange, New Jersey, which at the
(12:39):
time was pretty much a predominantly Jewishcommunity. Take us back to then the
life in the seventies, late sixties. What is it about that time?
What is it about your life thatyou remember? Help us, get us
in and so of the world asyou remember it, as you're coming into
(13:05):
covid, like what's these or asyour graduating high school, give us the
specs on your school. Right highschool, I lived in a pretty nutty
world. It wasn't normal. Onone hand, I wasn't an all Jewish,
very elite school, so I hungout with Jewish people all day long
and went to Burntsvi's and bus Metzvisand these were my closest friends. On
(13:31):
the other hand, I hung outin Spanish Harlem with my grandparents and my
cousins in the projects and you know, eight all the wonderful food and danced
and listened to my cousins play theGungas and the clavich And that was a
different world. And then in thesummers, I was in Martha's vineyard where
(13:56):
we had a home and spent mostof my summers. The growing up as
a child, and my mother camefrom a or background, and my dad
came from a very privileged background,and so the melding of these two worlds,
(14:16):
these two very different value systems,was very interesting for a child to
observe and decide about her own values. How did you hear about cocaine?
Uh, that's a good question.I'm not exactly sure I was looking at.
(14:37):
I knew I wanted the school thatwas in the country. I knew
that I wanted something smaller. Iknew I didn't want to be anywhere near
Boston because I knew too many peoplefrom the vineyard. It was just like
a vineyard extension, and I wantedto go to a place where I could
establish my own identity, where nobodyknew my father, my mother, sister,
(14:58):
and my My dad was very prominentin his field. He ended up
being the national founding Father of theHundred Black Men. His statue is in
the Wax Museum of Famous But Ididn't want any of that toy to be
a thing. I just wanted tobe anonymous. Patricia showing up in a
(15:22):
place and finding my own identity,my life, my friends, myself.
And if I can ask you,do you remember if as you created that
profile where you know you wanted togo to school, were there other school
that were options if you hadn't goneto Kolgate that were in That funny thing
(15:43):
was it was sort of a spiritualexperience because I went to Brown I looked
around. Okay, it was alittle dismal, and at that time it's
gorgeous now, but at the timeit was pretty depressing looking. Then I
went up to Cornell and I thought, oh, this is way too big.
People are taking buses, glass onthe campus is crazy. And I
(16:06):
was sitting in the street, whichis you know, where they all hang
out, and I said, youknow, I'm supposed to be at Coldgate
in like an hour, and Ithink I'm going to miss my interview.
And the guys they were saying,you don't want to go there, You
do not want to go there,And I said, you know, my
parents are going to be really disappointedthat I came this far and I didn't
finish the trip. And so afriend named Hank Chambers, he said,
(16:30):
I'll drive you. And I hadknown Hank for years, and so I
said really, I said yes.So we started driving, and of course
you know what happened next. Itstarted snowing. Of course, so of
course, so we get there andI'm late for the interview and I walk
into the place and they said,I'm so sorry, but Guy Martin,
(16:51):
the dean, we think he left. We can't interview you. And I
was like, darn it. Andas I'm standing there looking at the campus
and driving in, something came overme. It was literally spiritual, and
I said, I'm going to schoolhere. I just knew. And as
I was very upset because I'd missedmy interview and about to walk out the
(17:15):
door, bouncing down the steps camethis tall guy putting on his overcoat and
it was Guy Martin. And thewoman said, oh, Guy, I
thought you'd left. You know,Patricia's here, she's late. I assumed
he was going to say, well, you're late, you're late, you
know, that's it. And hesaid, come on, mu's go upstairs.
And so I went up to theoffice and we were supposed to meet
(17:37):
for a half hour. We metfor almost ninety minutes. Wowow. I
came downstairs. I got in thecar with Hank I said, I'm going
to school here. And then afriend, Lance Slaughter, who was the
year or two ahead of me,when I got back home, he called.
He said, I don't know whatyou did or what you said,
(17:59):
but they really want you to goto school here. And I said,
well, I really want to goto school there. And that was the
end of that. And it wasa choice for me so many reasons.
I could talk about the reasons fortwo hours, but it was a peaceful,
(18:22):
exciting, anonymous time in my lifethat I just cherish. I was
able to do theater, dance throughthe philosophy, still do my pre med
yoga, go to India. Beyondthe tennis team, I had a group
called January. We sang at theColgate in on weekends. I made some
(18:45):
more money. Yeah, I hadmy side hustle and said it was just
perfect for me. I know alot of people there were not happy.
There was even a gentleman who committedsuicide while I was there. It was
(19:06):
not a place for everybody, butit was the right place for me.
So you know, I definitely justgoogled your dad right the hundred black men
found I'm like, wow, DavidDinkins, right, right before my godfather.
Yes, David okay, you knowAmerica Mayor Gibson, Arthur Ash.
(19:30):
These were people who were at ourhome. My dad later moved to California,
you know, the Harry Belafonte andall of these different people. Dionne
Warwick and he delivered a lot ofdifferent babies. I know he delivered just
(19:51):
a lot of babies. And waitwas he was it a barter system he
had going on here flying get metickets. I need doctor Brice to come
to level. So my question wasconsidering that this is a parent who,
(20:11):
like you said, came from resources, but definitely has a lot of access
to information like so many I thinkit. Jerry talked about many of us
go to Kolgate haveing no clue whatColgate is really about. So I'm curious
to hear is it any advice orany He went to Boston University, played
basketball and after two years went straightto medical school. He didn't finish college.
(20:37):
He decided to go straight. Hejust finishes pre RECs and then he
went to the Korean War. Hewent to Rlham Hospital after Howard University medical
school and did his residency and internship. And his brother was a dentist and
teskegeearman, and they were raised bytheir mother. Their father died and they
(21:00):
were very young, and their motherwas a registrar at Cheney State College and
had her MBA from mcguil in Canada. And she also had a little restaurant
in when they were building the PanamaCanal, she would feed all the workers.
(21:22):
Wow. Wow, very fascinating.So when you're coming to Colgate,
my math is right, you're thethird class of women. You know.
It's always confusing to me. Ithought we were the second fully graduating because
some people came in the second yearand third year. But I started as
a freshman graduated as a senior.So I think we are the second second
(21:47):
full okay beginning to end, Yes, I think so. So my question
is this twofold so one. Howmuch of that were you aware of as
you're coming to campus, like thisis a college that is accepting women,
and then to what was it?Like? You know, I knew it,
but it didn't phase me. Iwas like, I'm going to be
(22:10):
so busy. I already have aboyfriend. I'm not coming up here to
you know, I'm coming up hereto get smart, to do stuff.
But I was very sad because Iwent to try out for the Coldgate thirteen.
I was maybe on campus a weekor two, and they said,
oh, no, women can't tryout for this. You want to,
(22:30):
saying go start your own group.I'm like, what are you talking about.
You guys travel all over the world, you have a fund, You've
been around. I thought, thisis a co ed situation. I thought
we would be allowed to do everythingthat made sense right, and they said
oh no, And I thought maybeI went to the wrong school. But
(22:52):
later, having had a career atIBM for twenty five years and being the
only woman in a room with somany men and all the time as a
global executive there, I thought,you know, that was actually a good
thing that I did because I wasused to it. It was no big
It was no big deal. SoI guess they have the swinging gates now.
(23:12):
Is that something that is I guesshappens? Is it created while you're
there, or is that something notat all? Later later on? Wow?
Fascinating. So what's your transition likewhen you come on campus those early
years academically socially? Do you rememberwhere you lived? Yeah? Well I
(23:37):
lived next door to Film and Ican't even remember the name of the dorm.
But after freshman year we moved toScott House and we bid on moving
there and they said, no womenhave ever lived there. You're never going
to get it. Guys are goingto get it, and we got it.
Uh, Dale Sokoloff, Beth Bloomand all. I can't Claire Colgate
(24:02):
shown I can't even remember all ofus, oh, Margo, and we
lived there and it was lovely andI think we stayed there the whole time.
I mean I went to India andI went to London, so you
know, I wasn't there then,but pretty much stayed at Scott House the
(24:23):
whole time and loved it. Wehad a farmhouse and we I love to
cook, so I would do thecooking and everyone else would do the cleaning,
shopping, whatever else needed to bedone. So how about the transition
academically? Socially? How was that? Academically? It was tough because I
(24:47):
was pre med because my father wantedme. I would have been the fourth
generation of doctors in our family.And I'm not sorry, that's not right.
My grandfather, my father, andme, I would have been third,
and it's not something I wanted todo, but you know, you're
young, your father says to dothis, or you're like, all right,
I'll do this. But on theside, I was doing my creative
(25:08):
things. I was doing theater.I taught dance. I had a dance
class I taught because there was nodance at Pulgate at the time. I
had my band and so I wasdoing my theater and performing arts on the
side while I was doing my premid and then you know, playing tennis
on the tennis team, and itwas okay. You know, the winters
(25:33):
were kind of dismal. I usedto love to go to Chapel House and
just enjoy the peace and the stillnessof that place. I still love that.
I had very close relationships with myprofessors. I mean I'd go to
their house. I knew their wivesor their husbands, their kids, their
dogs. When my parents came up, they actually ended up staying on parents'
(25:56):
weekend with one of the professors there, Ken Morgan, who was in the
religion department, who was just BillSkelton. That's why I went to India
with his He took a troop toIndia. But my professors, it was
just so wonderful I would have aproblem with physics and I could pick up
(26:18):
the phone and my professor would say, come over, sit down with me
and my wife will have cookies andwe'll look at the problem. And they
were explain it to me and Iwould understand it, and then I'd go
back and you know, and Ijust don't know where in the world you
get that kind of intimate experience withyour teachers to sit down and talk about
cure kagard or a kneez che orboober for two hours over coffee. I
(26:42):
don't think that happens many places.Wow. Wow. So you have shared
a lot of activities and involved Whenyou look at your four years there,
what do you look back on islike your accomplishments, things that you're extremely
(27:02):
proud of, I'm out of whatyou shared, or even something maybe didn't
you well. I think winning theWatson Fellowship was huge for me because it
was really a turning point in mylife. It gave me the money and
independence to tell my dad, listen, I'm going to put this thing on
(27:23):
hold and I'm going to go dothis other thing. And now I have
the funding to do. Winning twodan Forth fellowships at the school also for
community service and for being a goodcitizen of the COVID community. I think
(27:45):
I remember that very much. SoI remember that we had a separate place
where black and Latin students could eat. But sometimes the food was late,
sometimes it wasn't very good, AndI thought to myself, I don't even
(28:06):
like the food here. Why ami here? I came here to eat
and also to hang out. ButI think I'm going to go back to
my regular food plan. And Iremember doing that, and someone called me
into the office, some dean orsomebody, and they said, we need
to speak with you. And Ithought, oh my god, I'm in
trouble. I'm in trouble. AndI go to the office and they said,
(28:27):
you know, you've started a massexodus. And I said from where
And they said from the dining hall. People fought for that dining hall to
have their food dad, And Isaid, well, I'm sorry, I'm
not here to be a civil rightsleader, and I'm sorry a lot of
people are following me. But eitherbring the food up to standard and the
(28:48):
facilities and everything else, or movethat food over to the regular place,
you know, where everybody eats,or do something. But I'm paying full
tuition here, and I want achoice of what I'm eating. You know,
I'm an athlete, and you know, I just I want a choice.
And it has nothing to do withwho I want to party with,
(29:11):
who I want to hang out with. I want to eat good foods on
time. Yeah, on time,or what that's worth. I mean,
I don't know how good any ofthe food was, but you know,
all right, gotcha get And whatdid you major in? So I finished
pre med and majored. My actualmajor was religion, and I thought I
(29:37):
wanted to go into medical ethics.I thought that would help my father and
me. So it's the medical thing, but the ethics part is the more
philosophical, creative part. And hadI stayed the course, there actually would
have been lots of jobs because alot of companies have chief ethics officers.
So it was a thing before Iit was a thing, But then,
(30:03):
you know, life took me ona different path. Did you accrue enough
courses in theater and the arts thatyou minor? Did any of that or
I didn't? Well, you didit for the passion. I did it
for the passion. And in highschool I had taken a lot of lessons,
voice lessons in theater, and itwas just a passion. And then
(30:26):
later on I got to do thatprofessionally on NBC Channel four and a soap
opera with Kathleen Turner that I wasin for two years, and then got
to go to London and do sometelevision and the opera. We did it
probable a lot about Kibijiam in India, and a lot of TV commercials and
some modeling. So I had sevenyears of making a living in the performing
(30:52):
arts long enough to realize it wasn'ta lifestyle that I wanted. And that's
what a lot of young people don'trealize. Whether it's investment, banking,
theater, there is a lifestyle thatgoes with the job. Do you want
both? Mm hmmm. So we'regonna use that as a segue to learn
more about your life, your style, and your career. And we come
(31:17):
back in part two of this conversationwith Patricia Haley Price, class of seventy
six. So this episode is sponsoredby Hope Murals. Hope Murals is a
nonprofit that provides adolescent youth with aninteractive experience of creative expression via an urban
arts platform that stimulates both mental andphysical development. Please visit that website at
(31:42):
www dot murals dot org to learnmore and find ways you can support the
work they do. Welcome back.This is the second half of the conversation
Trisha Haley Price. This is Aftergate. Before we jump into that, let's
(32:04):
make sure we thank our responsors,Hope Murals. Make sure you are checking
out their website hopemurals dot org socialmedia at hole Murals to learn more about
all that they're doing to expose ouryou the urban arts increase their sense of
hope, but just at the endof the day, make them and their
surrounding, their communities, their parents. Just the organization does amazing things trying
(32:29):
to affect change through the use ofurban arts, So show them some love.
Also want to make sure we areshowing our network their do love and
that is the Firelife Network at Goldiefilifedot co. You can learn more about
what they're doing on their website.They also have a podcast hub, the
(32:50):
filifepods dot com more dope episodes ofother dope podcasts, so make sure you
are checking out their hub and alsoalways remember you can find Aftergate on all
of your major podcast streaming services,so you can find us on Spreaker,
Spotify, our heart Apple Pods,but just make sure you are liking or
subscribing so that you get an alertevery time we post a new episode.
(33:15):
And as we jump into the secondhalf of this show, I will pass
it to my co host mister heademanddu Blog. Welcome back listeners. We
are with the illustrious the Myth ofWoman, a Legend, Sister Price and
Class of seventy six. And thishas been fascinating thus far and learning about
the journey you have led that gotyou to Cogate, and we're going to
(33:38):
continue with our what happened in lifePostcogate, But before we do that,
it's accustomed to sort of open upa brief dialogue on various subject matter that's
of burning interest to our guests.And it's interesting that the subject matter of
connectedness has come forth because I wasjust recently having a discussion with a respected
(34:01):
educated colleague who we were talking aboutlearning loss and how what traditionally happens over
the summer with kids when they're onvacation and the learning loss that happens,
and then more importantly the learning lossthat occurred during COVID because we had a
graduating class today that their first twoyears of high school were drew COVID And
so what would that experience have beenlike for any of us as educated as
(34:24):
students to know that half of yourhigh school experience, which are supposed to
be these memorable times, was spentvirtually. There was no connectedness, there
was no sense of school pride,there was no sense of community, and
by default folks became disconnected. Andso I'd be very interested in getting your
(34:46):
perspective both medically, socially, philosophically, spiritually on this idea. Have we
as a people lost this sense ofthe importance and value of connectedness in this
post COVID era because many of uswere forced to survive in a disconnected world
that now we have forgotten how toconnect. Please shed some light, some
(35:09):
expertise, and some insight because ofour folks and our communities need to hear
this. I think a lot ofpeople never understood connectedness or weren't brave enough
to go there. Connectedness requires vulnerability, and vulnerability requires courage. If people
(35:30):
can see, if you just allowthem to view you, you can never
really connect. And the happiest peopleI know the people with the most joy,
have real, connected, authentic,vulnerable community. And it's what I
wish for everybody. They have itin their youth, they have it in
(35:52):
their adolescence, they have it intheir old age, and it is the
gift. It is the best giftlife can give you. But you have
to well, you got to knowwho to trust. You've got to invest
in that community. Many of usget busy, so busy making money,
buying a big house, or gettingyour next time and trying to you know,
(36:14):
find a boyfriend, trying to raiseyour kids, whatever you're doing,
you know, at the beauty parlor, but not spending enough time on connecting
and loving your friendships and investing.It is the stuff that just the richest
part of life is made of.And I think that some have forgotten and
(36:38):
some never knew, you know,asking your question, who can I trust?
Who brings me joy? Who canI confide in? Who can I
tell secrets to? Who has myback? Who sees me all of me?
Asking those questions and really, youknow, voraciously seeking out that community.
(37:00):
Now, everybody doesn't have to belike your best friend. You have
that right in community. You havepeople you know who are acquaintances You can
party with them, have a greattime with them, but you may not
tell them the secret. You haveother people who are your ride or die,
but you have to spread the seedsand bloom those flowers because when your
(37:22):
kids move off, or you getdivorced, or your good you know,
your one good friend passes away.There you are, you can't build them
later. It's a it's a longgame. And so connectedness, I mean,
it hits every aspect of your life, even especially work. You know,
(37:43):
our parents told us put your headdown, especially black and Latin X
parents, put your head down,get straight a's, and do the best
job and everything will take care ofitself. And we know it's not true.
People who have half of our wit, half of our brain are getting
ahead of us because they're connected.They know the guy who knows the guy,
and they're going to teach you whatyou need to know. They enjoy
(38:07):
working with you, so they're goingto give you a pass, and we
just undervalue what that means. Ido an exercise where I ask people to
take a look. I actually didthis at an Ivy League school with professors
that I was working with, andI said, I want you to write
down all of the people in yourcircle who you feel are your support circle,
(38:31):
who you trust. And they didit, and I said, what
do you notice about the list?And this one woman put her hand in
her head and she just shook herhead and I thought she had a headache.
And I went over and I said, are you okay? She said,
I can't believe my list. Shesaid, I'm an anthropologist. Everyone
(38:52):
on here is my same sex,my gender, my same ethnicity, and
my same race. So where areyou getting perspective? What are you?
Where are you I mean? Andshe just said, I'm so embarrassed.
I'm an anthrobiologist. I know better, and I think you know. We
(39:13):
just we got to get outside ofour boxes. There's so much joy,
trust and love to be found outsideyour box. So there it is the
memo to the producer of this show. We need sound effects. We need
(39:34):
something because when people are bringing pearlsof wisdom off the comfort, off the
top, off the top, andin a way that that I loved your
your your explanation of connectedness and anduh, the idea of the play on
vulnerability and courage and what that reallymeans. It applies the family and implies
the neighbors, friends, community,our students, our kids. So wow,
(40:00):
yeah, for sure, thank you. Thank you. With that being
said, let's let's revisit now you'reyou're graduating Kogate. Your were you clear
about sort of what you were doingnext? Was it? You know?
You zigg and life zagged and youjust ended up somewhere else? Take us,
(40:22):
take us through this just journey.You're graduating in seventy six and and
please take your time. And Iknow there's so much you've done with sharing
the hahs and lows of life professionally, personally and where you ended up to
what you're doing today. Thank youfor the question. I left Colgate and
(40:42):
thank heavens I won the Watson Fellowshipthat took me to do choreography in London.
I really had this idea that wecould take Baharta, not timmy'st Indian
dance, Cuban dance which I love, Africa can dance, ballet, modern
Graham dance, and that we couldcreate an amalgamation of a dance form with
(41:13):
labid notation that could be replicated andthat could bring so many cultures together.
That was my thought, my dream, my hope, and George Faison I
wrote my recommendation. He was afriend at the time and he was doing
the Whiz on Broadway, and DebbieAllen and all these folks, and I
(41:37):
was able to get into the GrahamCompany at the place in London through the
Watson and through the help of thosefolks, and I spent a year there,
which was fascinating. I worked reallyhard. I was probably dancing,
I don't know, eight hours aday. I could barely walk home,
(41:58):
get on the subway. I could. I would laugh because I hurt.
Everything on my body hurt every day. And it was just a fantastic experience.
And when I came back, Iknew I didn't want to go to
medical school. I had. Ihad waitlisted. I'd waitlisted for medical school.
(42:19):
I hadn't gotten in, but Ididn't want to go. And I
realized I had done that for mydad. It wasn't for me. It's
not what I wanted to do.So I thought, well, maybe I'll
apply to law school. That's whatblack people do, medical law school,
that's what we're supposed to do.And then I thought, I don't want
to do either of those things.I just want to stay in the arts.
(42:40):
And I know I'm not supposed todo that, and it will be
frowned upon by my family, butthat's what I'm going to do. And
lucky for me, I auditioned.I got a great audition for a soap
opera and I got it and theywere paying really good money. I was
able to buy co op, Iwas able to buy a car. I
(43:02):
was able to put a little bitaway and continue to do things in the
performing arts, including teaching. Andafter a while I realized, after seven
years, I realized I sang witha group and Pierre Frank and the Swings,
think Tony Orlando and Dawn. Iwas one of the We were in
(43:27):
Ireland on TV and all this stuff. And after seven years, I said,
I can't live this life. Thesepeople are crazy. I love the
art, but I don't like thelifestyle. It's very you have no control.
You're at the Linn director, this, producer, this, this,
this, this is not me.I can't do this. It's been fun.
(43:49):
I loved it, so glad Idid. It wouldn't change a thing,
but I'm out. And I said, I need to find something that's
left brain and right brain, somethingthat is has a discipline to it,
but has creativity and I thought,I know what about design and art,
That's what I'll do. It blendscool. So I go to Parsons Institute,
(44:14):
and my second year in design school, I got a job with the
United Nations through APACU Communications, designingmissions and consulates for Zimbabwe and for quite
a few other countries. It wasa lot of fun. I really liked
it. And then I went toNigeria on one of these because they were
(44:35):
building the city of Abougia and Iwas almost killed there. That was the
first thing. Oh wow. Icame back and I was doing a restaurant
for a woman, a Greek woman, and she called me at like eleven
at night to discuss the color pink. And when I got off the phone,
(44:57):
I said, I don't give anf what color pink it is.
I don't care. And that's whenI realized my heart wasn't in it.
I'm supposed to care about this,and that's when I said, I don't
know what I'm going to do,but it's not this. And I was
talking to a client. He wasthe first black managing director of Goldman Sachs
(45:22):
Garland Wood. I was doing somework in his house, design work and
when I told him how I wasfeeling about. I didn't want to really
do the design work anymore. Hesaid, why don't you get your MBA
and I'll teach you how to bean investment banker. I'm like, I
don't want to do that. Hesaid, well, you can't get your
(45:43):
MBA unless you've worked in a corporation, because you've already been out, you
know too long. I've been outof school like four years. You didn't
go straight, he said, soyou need to get in a six months
at a corporation so that you canat least have the experience. It doesn't
have to be in that bank,it could be anything. And literally,
walking down the street, I walkedpast the IBM building. Friend was standing
(46:07):
there and he's actually the son ofVernon Jordan well through marriage. And I
see him and we start talking andhe's like, yeah, well, you
can't get an NBA if you haven'tmore. I said, I know that,
but I got to find a corporatejob. Who's going to take a
dancer, singer, actress in acorporate job. It's not I don't know
(46:28):
how that's going to work. Andhe looked up and he said, well
what about right here? And Isaid, you mean IBM, and he
said, yeah, just go onand see if you can get an internship.
Wow, I thought, okay,and I became a global director there
and was there for twenty five years, just like that. Well it wasn't
(46:51):
just like that. They told methey weren't. They had a freeze.
We're not hiring. We have afreeze. By the way, you know,
we you'd have to take an iPadtest in order to even be considered
for an interview. I said,well, what's an iPad test. They
said, well, it's a logictest. Blah blah blah blah. Bu
it's three hours. I said,oh, so, as I'm walking out
(47:15):
the door, oh, they said, and we're not giving them anymore because
we have As I'm walking out thedoor, the door doesn't close. It's
about two inches still open, andthe woman sitting there says to me,
come back. I turn around.I walk back, and she says,
we're giving the test Saturday. ToBrendan Byrne, who was the governor of
(47:37):
Jersey at the time, to hisson, you know, they make exceptions
for people like that. If youwant to take it. If you want
to take it, we have aproctor. We have a room, you
can take it. I said,I would like to take it. I
came back Saturday, I took thetest. Monday, I get a phone
call. Can you come in away they did. It was like,
(48:00):
uh, oh, I did somethingwrong. They weren't supposed to get to
the test now. So I goin and I sit down, and they
said, this is really strange.I said what They said, Well,
you didn't go to Rensular Polytech,you didn't go to MIT, you didn't
go blah blah blah, none ofthe schools where people do well on this
test, but you had pretty mucha perfect score. And I said,
(48:22):
well, I had a really goodeducation at COLKI, but I left that
to be a critical thinker. Theysaid, well, you learned something somewhere,
but we're ready to offer you ajob. And that's I ended up
there. And everyone said to me, you're going to make it six months.
(48:42):
You're going to hate it. Iloved it. It was just sort
of the confluence of everything that Ilike to do. You got to meet
a lot of people, You've gotto be creative. It was technology,
but it was I was on thesales side, and you know, you're
mirroring people you know, you knowhow to sell to an introvert versus how
(49:05):
do you sell to an extrovert?You trame you And after twenty five years,
you know, I was married.I've been married forty five years now.
I had two kids, had manymiscarriages, raised my children, and
one day I just woke up andsaid, yeah, I don't want to
do this anymore. I was noticingthat I could pretty much predict with like
(49:29):
a six year streak, who wasgoing to get promoted, who was going
to get fired, who was goingto get down sized, who was going
to get hired not hired. Andthis coaching thing came to me, and
I started doing some certifications and Isaid, I'm going to leave and become
an executive coach and do leadership development. And I've been doing that for eighteen
(49:52):
years. I work for probably thetop twenty companies in the world, and
I cannot mention their names because ofmy contracts with them, but I will
say that they are in technology,private equity, venture capital CpG, and
minimal healthcare and some entrepreneurial startups.I love what I do, adore it,
(50:20):
and people say, well, actually, you're kind of a psychiatrist,
so you actually did become a doctor. So are you Are you a resource
for these companies in the sense ofthe company hires me to coach their CEOs,
their cfo CIOs. Usually it's thetop tier. And as I was
(50:43):
doing this, I said, youknow, this doesn't feel right. I'm
sitting here helping these you know,basically rich people who don't look like me
get even richer. We're talking billionsand multimillions. And I said, you
know, I want to do somethingfor people who look like me. But
unfortunately, most companies aren't paying tocoach people look like me. You have
(51:07):
to get pretty highed to get anexecutive coach. And so I happen to
be doing a talk and heard aboutthis company called Management Leadership for Tomorrow that
was being run by John Rice,Susan Rice from the Obama Administration's brother,
and he was looking to start amid level executive development program for companies across
(51:30):
the corporate landscape in this country.And I was lucky enough to convince him
to let me build it. Wehave put over a thousand mid level black
and brown and Indigenous people through theprogram. It's a nine month program.
It is very intensive. They gettheir own executive coach. I don't coach
(51:52):
in the program. I hire thecoaches. They are filmed a lot so
they can understand how their behave islanding and translating. Get a Hogan assessment
which goes back to zero through sevenyears old, of how they get things
done and how they interact with people. They have coaches that are world class.
(52:16):
I've interviewed over one hundred and twentyfive coaches to find the thirteen that
I use for them. And thesethese are people who coach at the C
suite, who are coaching these midlevel into their future, and they become
like a family. They been togetherthrough this, and the question we ask
(52:40):
is what does even better look like? That's the only question I'm trying to
answer in the program. And eventhough different for every single person, but
when you take the race card offthe table and the ethnicity card off the
table, and you put these peoplein a program where they are allowed to
(53:01):
be flawed for a moment, they'reallowed to try things they would never try
at the company because they want to. They most of us operate not to
fail, and when you operate notto fail, you don't operate at peak
performance. You're looking for snipers.You're operating so that you don't make a
(53:22):
mistake, and we know what happens. Then it's like operating with one hand
tied behind your back. Program youget to operate to succeed. You get
to see people like you, andyou get to form a community. Back
to that connectedness again, bring it, bring it, and these people share
(53:43):
everything. We even have an imagesession where we discuss for two or three
hours with a lot of wine anda lot of chocolate. What is blocking
your joy? What does that looklike for each of you? And the
stories you hear you wouldn't even believe. And they support one another in unblocking
(54:07):
success, joy, connectedness and allthe things that they need to be even
better unapologetically. And it's one ofthe things I think I am most proud
of that program. Their companies eachpay about twenty five thousand that goes to
(54:27):
MLT, not to me, butthey are given a year of curation,
individual curation to take them from wherethey were. And people say, well,
why do they need it. They'realready mid level at you know,
Google or whatever. They're making Nono, no, no no, they're
going to stop there. Why can'tthey continue to elevate? They can't because
(54:52):
they're not sure what it takes.They don't have a kitchen cabinet. These
coaches know what it is takes.I know what it takes, and so
we are able to unblock. Weare able to lift the curtain and show
them the secret sauce and help themto be all they came here to be.
(55:14):
So it's really the thing I thinkI'm most proud of. I also
teach at Columbia University with I workmostly with the professors and the deans,
helping them with their own leadership.And then I do one class, one
large class for the master's and graduatesstudents and PhD students in real estate development
(55:38):
on how to close a deal becauseclosing a deal you do have to have
your hard skills, but a lotof it is very behavioral if you think
about pathos and logos and how youinteract. But a lot of those foundational
things came from my COVID education.Full circle love that thank you, thank
(56:02):
you for those jets. You're welcome, and I just want people to invent
themselves instead of trying to find themselves, because you're not lost. We started
the conversation touching on the topic ofwhat are we trying to accomplish with?
Afficate and you are this conversation isexactly what we're trying to accomplish with.
(56:31):
Before I get to my next question, when you ask people what does better
look like? I gotta probe alittle bit. Is that better? In
terms of the elevation that we're talkingabout, it starts with your value system.
If you don't know your core values, you don't know yourself. Your
(56:52):
core values are your joint factors.For some people it's family, for some
people it's there going skiing, orfor some people it's prayer and church.
But what would you How would yourlife be not so good if you didn't
(57:15):
have those things in it? Andhow would it be the best it could
be if you had those things init? And there are assessments we can
do that help you understand your motives, values and preferences. But if you
don't understand your values, you arerudderless. You will stand for nothing and
fall for anything. So I thinkit starts with values, and how are
(57:39):
you aligning and giving voice to yourvalues every day in your leadership, in
your work, in your family.And that's a lot of what I work
on in that program. And it'samazing how many people haven't had the luxury
to think about values. I gotto put food on my table to get
(58:00):
a job. I can't think aboutvalues. Okay, well, now you
have food on the table, youhave a great job. It's time to
think about values, because that iswhere your joy and the best of who
you are it's going to happen.And if you are working outside of your
own values and you find that you'relet me split that. If you find
(58:21):
that you are not as happy asyou think you'd like to be or content,
check your values, check the alignment. If you're out of alignment,
it's just not happy. I don'tcare how much money you have. I
don't care how pretty you are,how thin you are, how fill in
the blank you are if you're outof alignment with your core values. So
when I'm coaching, if I'm coachinga Hasidic Jewish man a goal at one
(58:45):
of these big investment banks and hesays, my highest value is my religion,
I know that man's not going towork on Saturday, and so how
can I help him to get tobecome a managing partner without working on Saturday?
Because that's non negotiable. I'm goingto work with someone else who said
(59:08):
my highest value is to have aFerrari by the time I'm forty five.
I don't judge that that's your value. We're gonna figure out how we gonna
make that happen. Someone else says, you know, my greatest value is
to do homework and kiss my childrengood night every night. Okay, so
how are we going to take thejob you have and the career you want
(59:30):
and figure out that calculus when bothof those things can happen, Because then
you will be a better manager,a better leader, a better boss,
a better husband, a better everything, because your alignment is tight with your
joy factors and what makes you you, which is a perfect, perfect segue
(59:55):
into understanding that the journey in lifeis also the education, right, It's
also the growth. It's also thetransformation that we all go through. Someone
that's more conscious of it than others. If you had to go back to
your time at Kogate, you're enteringKogate now eighteen years old, high school
(01:00:17):
graduate, what advice, what wordsof wisdom would you have given to a
young sister Price then, as wellas the advice you would give to sister
Price graduating Koga, going into theworld, that you would give to yourself,
you know, don't try to followa track that your parents have laid,
(01:00:42):
that you saw in a magazine,whatever, because if you hold fast
to this track, this thing youthink you're supposed to do, you might
forfeit your actual destiny exiting Kolgate.I think the advice I would give to
myself is you don't have to knowall the answers, and you don't have
(01:01:09):
to get everything right. This nextfive years is about learning and inventing and
iterating. Learn, invent, learn, invent, learn event And I think
that's what I did. And peoplethought I was not there, like,
(01:01:30):
wait, Matte first, you're doingan actor. Now your mom, what
are you doing? And I wouldhave I should have been able, and
I didn't have the wisdom of thetime to say, now, this is
exactly what I should be doing,because it all connects part of the journey.
It's part of the journey, andthe journey is the whole thing.
(01:01:54):
Hm. Wow. So this hasbeen an amazing journey this episode. But
as we come up on the end, the last question we tend to ask
people it's really just an opportunity foryou to share it initiative. Promote an
(01:02:14):
opportunity something that you'd like to sharewith the listeners so that they could learn
more about something that matters to you. They might support something that matters to
you. Is there a cause,a website that you'd like to lift up?
So there are two things, ifI can be so oldest to ask
(01:02:36):
for two. The first one isthe National Forest Foundation, which is part
of the United States Department of Agriculture. We have vast forests across this country
and watersheds the water we drink.The NFF, the National Forest Foundation is
a board I've been on for twelveyears under the Department of Agriculture, and
(01:03:00):
I was the chairman of the board. I actually just stepped down after twelve
years because that's the statute of limitationsfor board membership. But send five dollars,
you know, plant a tree.I mean, are the asthma and
the issues that our black children andbrown children have in the inner city and
the quality of water. It startsand ends many times with these water straits
(01:03:25):
and forests and the indigenous species andthe work that we're doing. This is
our country too. Everything we dodoesn't have to have a black or brown
label on it. Trees are green, We need the carbon sequest duration,
we need the fresh water, andso that's one of the things I would
ask NFF. And then the otherthing is the Management Leadership for Tomorrow MLT.
(01:03:52):
If you know anybody who's a sophomorein college and they have a decent
GPA, they should apply to seeif they can get in. They will
have coaching throughout the rest of theircollege years, they will have access to
the best jobs in the country,and they will have a cohort of about
(01:04:15):
two hundred and fifty or more peoplewho look like them, who will be
like their family. If you're lookingto do your MBA, MLT has the
same program. And I know whenmy son was in grad school at Harvard,
he said pretty much everybody in hisMBA class who looked like him came
through MLT. And then the programthat I built, the Career Advancement program.
(01:04:42):
For people in mid career, youknow, get your company to buy
a seat, or if their company'salready buying a seat, see if you
can get that seat. Finally,for people who are much later in career,
I would say people in their youknow, fifties sixties. There's a
program at MLT has called self andit helps them to get on paid boards,
(01:05:04):
it helps them to they have asmall cohort, and it also helps
them to figure out what they're goingto do as they retire and with the
rest of their life, and theyget an agent who actually helps them to
plan and navigate this last mile oftheir professional life. So MLT Management Leadership
(01:05:27):
for Tomorrow is a great resource forIndigenous, LATINX and Black folks who are
professional and there are many verticals involved, whether it's investment, banking, whether
it's film and media. They don'thave a legal track, law and medicine
(01:05:49):
or not included, but pretty mucheverything else is included in it. At
least just go online and check itout. And if not for you or
as a relative or a friend,who could use this resource that is so
rich and is such a such ahelpful step if you can just catapult over
(01:06:17):
five or six years of trying tobuild through the utilization of their programs.
People who get those internships, theyusually land full time jobs. And why
make it difficult, connectedness, useall the help you can find, because
that's what people who don't look likeus are doing. We think we get
(01:06:40):
a prize for doing it ourselves.It just takes long. Mhm. Well,
any any final last words before weget out of here. No,
I guess I just want to thankyou for inviting me and for engaging with
me in this lively conversation. Ididn't really know about what this was,
(01:07:06):
but I didn't want to not sayyes because it's Coldgate and you know you
want to do things for your school. But I will now go back and
listen to some of the other episodesand learn from others who are in my
Colgate tribe who I have never metand may never meet, but I will
(01:07:28):
get to connect with them virtually andhopefully some you have met. Hopefully there
are some that have been in yournetwork and community. This has been another
episode of after Gate season four.Thank you to our guests, Thank you
to our listeners. Aftergate is alwayspowered by the Defilfe Network, so make
sure you check us out in thefuture on all of your favorite podcast streaming
(01:07:51):
platforms because we have many more dopeepisodes to follow. I am adding something
based on our last episode with whensome rud and her mother saying, I
just found it to be so dopethat we should do the best you can
and all the ways you can,for the people you can, for as
long as you can. And rememberthat the Kogi of your day is not
(01:08:12):
the coged of today, and it'scertainly not the cogate of the future.
Peace family. You hear that,listen closer, that, my friend,
is the defini sut of focus.It drowns out all the useless noise that
can clutter. The only nay sayersdon't exist, haters, smaters, the
(01:08:32):
peanut gallery. Who's that When you'rein your zone, all that noise and
all that buzz is just elevator music. So enjoy your journey, focus on
your goal in basque, in thechoiet role that is progressed, because when
it's your time to shoot that shot, spit that verse and close that deal.
The only voice that matters, it'syours, the firelight. If you're
(01:09:01):
a business looking to get your brandin front of a loyal, supportive,
successful market, you need to becomea sponsor of Aftergate. Our network recognizes
the opportunity to work with Codgate's alum of color to leverage the reach of
the show to increase awareness and profitabilityfor your business. Reach out to the
Defile Life podcast network and we willwork with you throughout the entire process.
(01:09:25):
We have special packages to get youstarted. Contact us at info at godofirelife
dot com. Every week professionals ofcolor, ranging from politicians to educators,
to judges, to entrepreneurs to lawyers, corporate leaders, and even retirees.
Aftergate reaches an array of successful bipodlisteners, contact us to learn more about
(01:09:48):
how we can benefit you.
The following podcast is being brought toyou by the Defile Life podcast Network.
Welcome to Aftergate, Powered by theDefile Life Network. Are You all Ready?
Aftergate is a podcast series highlighting Colgatealumni of color in their professional endeavors.
(00:23):
Aftergate Are You all Ready? Aftergate? Is hosted by Alvin Glimp aka
al and Herman Dubois aka A JerryAlready. We are doing Aftergate because Colgate
University has produced innovators who have changedthe world every day, Yet many alumni
of color and the mainstream Colgate communityare unaware of the amazing accomplishments of alums
(00:45):
of color? Are you all ready? Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome
back to Aftergate. This is yourboy, Alvin Glimp and I am co
host of this weekly podcast. Itis just amazing that we are in season
(01:07):
four. It is just a blessingthat we are over eighty episodes. So
I am just tickled that I havethe honor and privilege to be part of
this podcast that is just all aboutdocumenting and amplifying the stories of Kogate's alumni
(01:29):
of color. So it's been mypleasure to be on this journey with my
co host my rider died homie fromthe summer of nineteen eighty seven. Mister
Hedmind Dubois Akaed Jerry, How areyou doing? My brother? What is
up? My brother? All aswell? All is well here in the
Sunshine State. Attended a high schoolgraduation today of one of my cohorter students.
(01:53):
It's a beautiful thing to see that, you know, the work we've
been doing with all but thirty yearsis still impactful, still making a relevant
difference in our community where we're empoweringyoung minds. And so it just needed
that today to be grounded once againand why we deal with everything we deal
with because it's affecting the lives ofyoung people. And so today was today
(02:15):
was moving for me personally. Andsome of these students will becoming the FIU
and being as freshmen, and sowe're gonna keep rocking with them and supporting
them through their through their educational andlife journey. So very positive. Yeah,
I love this time of the year. A big part of the reason
I love it is because of thehigh school the college graduations. I actually
(02:38):
attended one on Thursday myself. Myniece Bailey graduated turned herself around in high
school and actually got an award,and so I love graduation. My daughter
asked me a question, She said, Daddy, how many graduations you think
you've been to in your life?And like, as we kind of scratched
down, I think I'm over onehundred probably more right, probably more when
(03:01):
you think about you know, professionally, and then all of mine and others
that I've attended. So I reallyappreciate that you have a picture of our
graduation day behind you. It alwaysbrings back great memories. Oh yeah,
But is it alright with you thatI cut the banter short because I'm excited
(03:24):
to hear the story of this week'sguests. So is it? Can I
get your blessing to invite this week'sguest into the studio? My brother?
I absolutely. The church has beena waiting for a very long time for
Sister Price to be joining us.So Deacon out please proceed without further ado.
(03:46):
After Gate listeners, covie AOC.It's my pleasure, my honor to
have the one, the only PatriciaHaling Price class of nineteen seventy six on
Aftergate. Welcome to Aftergate System.Thank you so much for having me.
(04:15):
Definitely our honor. Before we kindof run through the normal protocol of our
show, but definitely love to touchon a question you asked kind of coming
into it, which is what isthe purpose of Aftergate? What are we
trying to accomplish? And so Ithink and I'm definitely love to hear your
thoughts to Jerry. At the endof the day, what we realize is
(04:39):
that alumni of color don't really understandand appreciate the value of this network and
what people are doing. And soI think what we wanted to do initially
was can we create a platform thatamplifies documents what people have done, what
they're doing, what they're accomplishing,what their lives are like Gate, that's
(05:00):
the title of the show, andthen allow other AOC to hear it and
then leverage it, right Like,that's kind of the original intent. I
think as we've gone through this process, it's grown in terms of what we're
trying to accomplish, because what we'relearning is that one understanding what people's lives
were on campus and even before cogateis extremely valuable for other alums as well
(05:28):
as students on campus, that theycould hear it and benefit from it.
And I think the other part isjust that it has been a way for
many to express and share the goodbut in many instances the bad experiences they
had at COCATE. And I thinkwhat it has allowed is for it to
be a healing for not just thatindividual, but we like to talk about
(05:50):
it, it's like a group healingbecause as others are hearing it, there's
this sense of wow, you knowwhat, I can relate to that experience
and hearing that person share it,I think has allowed us as co hosts
to heal, but many of ourlisteners as well. So I'll pass it
(06:10):
to Jerry to see there's anything hewants to add. But I think that
really is where I'm at in termsof what this four year journey has looked
like. I think you summed itup perfectly and covered several bases, and
I can't, you know, sortof highlight any one more than the other.
But what has been I think forme fascinating aside from the listening to
(06:35):
the testimonials, because that's what Ireally feel like. They've been testimonials that
we hear from folks on sort ofhow their experience impacted their lives right,
And for me, when I thinkof this idea most of us, if
not a good percentage, I wouldcare to say maybe pushing ninety percent.
(06:57):
We were that first generation in ourfamilies to go to this higher ed experience.
And when you look at it froma longitudo study, and when I
think of it as a so andmajor, you know, I think of
how people's trajectories and families have beenimpacted, and so you know, this
higher education value, this this youknow, acquisition of the opportunity. When
(07:24):
you hear the stories of the greatnessand I'm talking greatness, I'm always like
when I hear people's journeys and whatthey've accomplished and and and you know,
I'm not saying we can give Kolgateall the credit, right, because some
of these qualities became with too Kogate, But there was something about surviving Kolgate
that made us equipped to survive inthe world. And I have heard some
(07:48):
amazing uh testimonies from from from folkspersonally and professionally that have made me sort
of feel a different kind of wayabout Kolgate that I may have it done
in the past, Like there wasa sense of pride, like you know,
what we have greatness amongst us andwe have not done a good job
in the storytelling of that. Andso this is what I think Aftergate had
(08:13):
surprisingly did for me was make mereally take a step back and be like,
Yo, there were some perks,there were some takeaways from the Kogate
experience, despite the post traumatic Cogatedisorder that many people, many of us
suffer from. So we'll save thatfor later in the show when we talk
about reparations on behalf of Kogate.But that's it. And one last thing
(08:37):
I think when we talk about thegreatness, like while we have had some
judges and doctors and like some amazingin terms of what I think coming into
the show we would have defined greataccomplishments, but I think what we've learned
all of the episodes is that theyeach of us have bloom where we were
ever planted. And I think it'sthis thing that at what I've appreciated is
(09:01):
how great AOC is, whether youare a corporate attorney, whether you're an
entrepreneur, whether you're a photographer,whether you're a woman or a man who's
decided I'm going to raise a family. I just think when we are hearing
the stories and what people's journeys havebeen like story by story by story,
(09:28):
they all have been amazing. Soin our Aftergate tradition, one of the
things we like to start it offwith is really give some context for our
listeners. Is this an individual thatwe gross passed with in the past,
that we've gone to school with?To my knowledge, I don't think we've
actually cross paths, like is therea you know? Please correct me if
(09:54):
I'm wrong, But this is aninstance where I don't. I can't place
a story and say we met here? So am am I wrong in my
memory? Because I am, youknow, fifty four or so. I
definitely claim my memory what it usedto be. But have we met?
(10:18):
We have not. I am seventyyears old, so there's a reason we
haven't met. Okay, okay,So that leads to the next question always
then, how did you hear aboutafter Gate mature? I was asked to
do the keynote at Coldgate. Itwas the occasion of fifty years of women
(10:41):
at Colgate University, and I wasin one of my leadership's development programs actually
more recently mentioned my name as someonethey should consider to do the keynote,
And as turned out, I did, and I think that's how my name
(11:05):
popped up for you guys, becauseI heard of you around that time.
And I want to say two yearsago. Okay, it wasn't last year.
It must have been the year before. Yes, So she was assessing
for two years whether or not shewas going to great us with her story
and the guys, these youngs isabout. I was so busy between work,
(11:31):
travel and family and life that itjust it just became difficult, and
I wanted to give it its properdue. I didn't want to just Okay,
what do you want, Let's I'min my car driving, let's just
do I didn't want to do that. I wanted to give it the give
it the respect that it deserves.Thank you greatly, appreciate, appreciate it
(11:54):
much appreciated. So then let's go. Let's see. You are last of
seventy six from Koki. You graduatehigh school then, class of seventy two.
I did, so. First questionis where are you from? Wow?
Depends how you mean that exactly,however you like to take more important
(12:18):
how you mean it? Well,I was born in New York City.
Okay, we moved to Newark,New Jersey, where my father was in
Obgyn. He practiced in Newark.We then my mom's Cuban, my dad's
Caribbean. We then moved to SouthOrange, New Jersey, which at the
(12:39):
time was pretty much a predominantly Jewishcommunity. Take us back to then the
life in the seventies, late sixties. What is it about that time?
What is it about your life thatyou remember? Help us, get us
in and so of the world asyou remember it, as you're coming into
(13:05):
covid, like what's these or asyour graduating high school, give us the
specs on your school. Right highschool, I lived in a pretty nutty
world. It wasn't normal. Onone hand, I wasn't an all Jewish,
very elite school, so I hungout with Jewish people all day long
and went to Burntsvi's and bus Metzvisand these were my closest friends. On
(13:31):
the other hand, I hung outin Spanish Harlem with my grandparents and my
cousins in the projects and you know, eight all the wonderful food and danced
and listened to my cousins play theGungas and the clavich And that was a
different world. And then in thesummers, I was in Martha's vineyard where
(13:56):
we had a home and spent mostof my summers. The growing up as
a child, and my mother camefrom a or background, and my dad
came from a very privileged background,and so the melding of these two worlds,
(14:16):
these two very different value systems,was very interesting for a child to
observe and decide about her own values. How did you hear about cocaine?
Uh, that's a good question.I'm not exactly sure I was looking at.
(14:37):
I knew I wanted the school thatwas in the country. I knew
that I wanted something smaller. Iknew I didn't want to be anywhere near
Boston because I knew too many peoplefrom the vineyard. It was just like
a vineyard extension, and I wantedto go to a place where I could
establish my own identity, where nobodyknew my father, my mother, sister,
(14:58):
and my My dad was very prominentin his field. He ended up
being the national founding Father of theHundred Black Men. His statue is in
the Wax Museum of Famous But Ididn't want any of that toy to be
a thing. I just wanted tobe anonymous. Patricia showing up in a
(15:22):
place and finding my own identity,my life, my friends, myself.
And if I can ask you,do you remember if as you created that
profile where you know you wanted togo to school, were there other school
that were options if you hadn't goneto Kolgate that were in That funny thing
(15:43):
was it was sort of a spiritualexperience because I went to Brown I looked
around. Okay, it was alittle dismal, and at that time it's
gorgeous now, but at the timeit was pretty depressing looking. Then I
went up to Cornell and I thought, oh, this is way too big.
People are taking buses, glass onthe campus is crazy. And I
(16:06):
was sitting in the street, whichis you know, where they all hang
out, and I said, youknow, I'm supposed to be at Coldgate
in like an hour, and Ithink I'm going to miss my interview.
And the guys they were saying,you don't want to go there, You
do not want to go there,And I said, you know, my
parents are going to be really disappointedthat I came this far and I didn't
finish the trip. And so afriend named Hank Chambers, he said,
(16:30):
I'll drive you. And I hadknown Hank for years, and so I
said really, I said yes.So we started driving, and of course
you know what happened next. Itstarted snowing. Of course, so of
course, so we get there andI'm late for the interview and I walk
into the place and they said,I'm so sorry, but Guy Martin,
(16:51):
the dean, we think he left. We can't interview you. And I
was like, darn it. Andas I'm standing there looking at the campus
and driving in, something came overme. It was literally spiritual, and
I said, I'm going to schoolhere. I just knew. And as
I was very upset because I'd missedmy interview and about to walk out the
(17:15):
door, bouncing down the steps camethis tall guy putting on his overcoat and
it was Guy Martin. And thewoman said, oh, Guy, I
thought you'd left. You know,Patricia's here, she's late. I assumed
he was going to say, well, you're late, you're late, you
know, that's it. And hesaid, come on, mu's go upstairs.
And so I went up to theoffice and we were supposed to meet
(17:37):
for a half hour. We metfor almost ninety minutes. Wowow. I
came downstairs. I got in thecar with Hank I said, I'm going
to school here. And then afriend, Lance Slaughter, who was the
year or two ahead of me,when I got back home, he called.
He said, I don't know whatyou did or what you said,
(17:59):
but they really want you to goto school here. And I said,
well, I really want to goto school there. And that was the
end of that. And it wasa choice for me so many reasons.
I could talk about the reasons fortwo hours, but it was a peaceful,
(18:22):
exciting, anonymous time in my lifethat I just cherish. I was
able to do theater, dance throughthe philosophy, still do my pre med
yoga, go to India. Beyondthe tennis team, I had a group
called January. We sang at theColgate in on weekends. I made some
(18:45):
more money. Yeah, I hadmy side hustle and said it was just
perfect for me. I know alot of people there were not happy.
There was even a gentleman who committedsuicide while I was there. It was
(19:06):
not a place for everybody, butit was the right place for me.
So you know, I definitely justgoogled your dad right the hundred black men
found I'm like, wow, DavidDinkins, right, right before my godfather.
Yes, David okay, you knowAmerica Mayor Gibson, Arthur Ash.
(19:30):
These were people who were at ourhome. My dad later moved to California,
you know, the Harry Belafonte andall of these different people. Dionne
Warwick and he delivered a lot ofdifferent babies. I know he delivered just
(19:51):
a lot of babies. And waitwas he was it a barter system he
had going on here flying get metickets. I need doctor Brice to come
to level. So my question wasconsidering that this is a parent who,
(20:11):
like you said, came from resources, but definitely has a lot of access
to information like so many I thinkit. Jerry talked about many of us
go to Kolgate haveing no clue whatColgate is really about. So I'm curious
to hear is it any advice orany He went to Boston University, played
basketball and after two years went straightto medical school. He didn't finish college.
(20:37):
He decided to go straight. Hejust finishes pre RECs and then he
went to the Korean War. Hewent to Rlham Hospital after Howard University medical
school and did his residency and internship. And his brother was a dentist and
teskegeearman, and they were raised bytheir mother. Their father died and they
(21:00):
were very young, and their motherwas a registrar at Cheney State College and
had her MBA from mcguil in Canada. And she also had a little restaurant
in when they were building the PanamaCanal, she would feed all the workers.
(21:22):
Wow. Wow, very fascinating.So when you're coming to Colgate,
my math is right, you're thethird class of women. You know.
It's always confusing to me. Ithought we were the second fully graduating because
some people came in the second yearand third year. But I started as
a freshman graduated as a senior.So I think we are the second second
(21:47):
full okay beginning to end, Yes, I think so. So my question
is this twofold so one. Howmuch of that were you aware of as
you're coming to campus, like thisis a college that is accepting women,
and then to what was it?Like? You know, I knew it,
but it didn't phase me. Iwas like, I'm going to be
(22:10):
so busy. I already have aboyfriend. I'm not coming up here to
you know, I'm coming up hereto get smart, to do stuff.
But I was very sad because Iwent to try out for the Coldgate thirteen.
I was maybe on campus a weekor two, and they said,
oh, no, women can't tryout for this. You want to,
(22:30):
saying go start your own group.I'm like, what are you talking about.
You guys travel all over the world, you have a fund, You've
been around. I thought, thisis a co ed situation. I thought
we would be allowed to do everythingthat made sense right, and they said
oh no, And I thought maybeI went to the wrong school. But
(22:52):
later, having had a career atIBM for twenty five years and being the
only woman in a room with somany men and all the time as a
global executive there, I thought,you know, that was actually a good
thing that I did because I wasused to it. It was no big
It was no big deal. SoI guess they have the swinging gates now.
(23:12):
Is that something that is I guesshappens? Is it created while you're
there, or is that something notat all? Later later on? Wow?
Fascinating. So what's your transition likewhen you come on campus those early
years academically socially? Do you rememberwhere you lived? Yeah? Well I
(23:37):
lived next door to Film and Ican't even remember the name of the dorm.
But after freshman year we moved toScott House and we bid on moving
there and they said, no womenhave ever lived there. You're never going
to get it. Guys are goingto get it, and we got it.
Uh, Dale Sokoloff, Beth Bloomand all. I can't Claire Colgate
(24:02):
shown I can't even remember all ofus, oh, Margo, and we
lived there and it was lovely andI think we stayed there the whole time.
I mean I went to India andI went to London, so you
know, I wasn't there then,but pretty much stayed at Scott House the
(24:23):
whole time and loved it. Wehad a farmhouse and we I love to
cook, so I would do thecooking and everyone else would do the cleaning,
shopping, whatever else needed to bedone. So how about the transition
academically? Socially? How was that? Academically? It was tough because I
(24:47):
was pre med because my father wantedme. I would have been the fourth
generation of doctors in our family.And I'm not sorry, that's not right.
My grandfather, my father, andme, I would have been third,
and it's not something I wanted todo, but you know, you're
young, your father says to dothis, or you're like, all right,
I'll do this. But on theside, I was doing my creative
(25:08):
things. I was doing theater.I taught dance. I had a dance
class I taught because there was nodance at Pulgate at the time. I
had my band and so I wasdoing my theater and performing arts on the
side while I was doing my premid and then you know, playing tennis
on the tennis team, and itwas okay. You know, the winters
(25:33):
were kind of dismal. I usedto love to go to Chapel House and
just enjoy the peace and the stillnessof that place. I still love that.
I had very close relationships with myprofessors. I mean I'd go to
their house. I knew their wivesor their husbands, their kids, their
dogs. When my parents came up, they actually ended up staying on parents'
(25:56):
weekend with one of the professors there, Ken Morgan, who was in the
religion department, who was just BillSkelton. That's why I went to India
with his He took a troop toIndia. But my professors, it was
just so wonderful I would have aproblem with physics and I could pick up
(26:18):
the phone and my professor would say, come over, sit down with me
and my wife will have cookies andwe'll look at the problem. And they
were explain it to me and Iwould understand it, and then I'd go
back and you know, and Ijust don't know where in the world you
get that kind of intimate experience withyour teachers to sit down and talk about
cure kagard or a kneez che orboober for two hours over coffee. I
(26:42):
don't think that happens many places.Wow. Wow. So you have shared
a lot of activities and involved Whenyou look at your four years there,
what do you look back on islike your accomplishments, things that you're extremely
(27:02):
proud of, I'm out of whatyou shared, or even something maybe didn't
you well. I think winning theWatson Fellowship was huge for me because it
was really a turning point in mylife. It gave me the money and
independence to tell my dad, listen, I'm going to put this thing on
(27:23):
hold and I'm going to go dothis other thing. And now I have
the funding to do. Winning twodan Forth fellowships at the school also for
community service and for being a goodcitizen of the COVID community. I think
(27:45):
I remember that very much. SoI remember that we had a separate place
where black and Latin students could eat. But sometimes the food was late,
sometimes it wasn't very good, AndI thought to myself, I don't even
(28:06):
like the food here. Why ami here? I came here to eat
and also to hang out. ButI think I'm going to go back to
my regular food plan. And Iremember doing that, and someone called me
into the office, some dean orsomebody, and they said, we need
to speak with you. And Ithought, oh my god, I'm in
trouble. I'm in trouble. AndI go to the office and they said,
(28:27):
you know, you've started a massexodus. And I said from where
And they said from the dining hall. People fought for that dining hall to
have their food dad, And Isaid, well, I'm sorry, I'm
not here to be a civil rightsleader, and I'm sorry a lot of
people are following me. But eitherbring the food up to standard and the
(28:48):
facilities and everything else, or movethat food over to the regular place,
you know, where everybody eats,or do something. But I'm paying full
tuition here, and I want achoice of what I'm eating. You know,
I'm an athlete, and you know, I just I want a choice.
And it has nothing to do withwho I want to party with,
(29:11):
who I want to hang out with. I want to eat good foods on
time. Yeah, on time,or what that's worth. I mean,
I don't know how good any ofthe food was, but you know,
all right, gotcha get And whatdid you major in? So I finished
pre med and majored. My actualmajor was religion, and I thought I
(29:37):
wanted to go into medical ethics.I thought that would help my father and
me. So it's the medical thing, but the ethics part is the more
philosophical, creative part. And hadI stayed the course, there actually would
have been lots of jobs because alot of companies have chief ethics officers.
So it was a thing before Iit was a thing, But then,
(30:03):
you know, life took me ona different path. Did you accrue enough
courses in theater and the arts thatyou minor? Did any of that or
I didn't? Well, you didit for the passion. I did it
for the passion. And in highschool I had taken a lot of lessons,
voice lessons in theater, and itwas just a passion. And then
(30:26):
later on I got to do thatprofessionally on NBC Channel four and a soap
opera with Kathleen Turner that I wasin for two years, and then got
to go to London and do sometelevision and the opera. We did it
probable a lot about Kibijiam in India, and a lot of TV commercials and
some modeling. So I had sevenyears of making a living in the performing
(30:52):
arts long enough to realize it wasn'ta lifestyle that I wanted. And that's
what a lot of young people don'trealize. Whether it's investment, banking,
theater, there is a lifestyle thatgoes with the job. Do you want
both? Mm hmmm. So we'regonna use that as a segue to learn
more about your life, your style, and your career. And we come
(31:17):
back in part two of this conversationwith Patricia Haley Price, class of seventy
six. So this episode is sponsoredby Hope Murals. Hope Murals is a
nonprofit that provides adolescent youth with aninteractive experience of creative expression via an urban
arts platform that stimulates both mental andphysical development. Please visit that website at
(31:42):
www dot murals dot org to learnmore and find ways you can support the
work they do. Welcome back.This is the second half of the conversation
Trisha Haley Price. This is Aftergate. Before we jump into that, let's
(32:04):
make sure we thank our responsors,Hope Murals. Make sure you are checking
out their website hopemurals dot org socialmedia at hole Murals to learn more about
all that they're doing to expose ouryou the urban arts increase their sense of
hope, but just at the endof the day, make them and their
surrounding, their communities, their parents. Just the organization does amazing things trying
(32:29):
to affect change through the use ofurban arts, So show them some love.
Also want to make sure we areshowing our network their do love and
that is the Firelife Network at Goldiefilifedot co. You can learn more about
what they're doing on their website.They also have a podcast hub, the
(32:50):
filifepods dot com more dope episodes ofother dope podcasts, so make sure you
are checking out their hub and alsoalways remember you can find Aftergate on all
of your major podcast streaming services,so you can find us on Spreaker,
Spotify, our heart Apple Pods,but just make sure you are liking or
subscribing so that you get an alertevery time we post a new episode.
(33:15):
And as we jump into the secondhalf of this show, I will pass
it to my co host mister heademanddu Blog. Welcome back listeners. We
are with the illustrious the Myth ofWoman, a Legend, Sister Price and
Class of seventy six. And thishas been fascinating thus far and learning about
the journey you have led that gotyou to Cogate, and we're going to
(33:38):
continue with our what happened in lifePostcogate, But before we do that,
it's accustomed to sort of open upa brief dialogue on various subject matter that's
of burning interest to our guests.And it's interesting that the subject matter of
connectedness has come forth because I wasjust recently having a discussion with a respected
(34:01):
educated colleague who we were talking aboutlearning loss and how what traditionally happens over
the summer with kids when they're onvacation and the learning loss that happens,
and then more importantly the learning lossthat occurred during COVID because we had a
graduating class today that their first twoyears of high school were drew COVID And
so what would that experience have beenlike for any of us as educated as
(34:24):
students to know that half of yourhigh school experience, which are supposed to
be these memorable times, was spentvirtually. There was no connectedness, there
was no sense of school pride,there was no sense of community, and
by default folks became disconnected. Andso I'd be very interested in getting your
(34:46):
perspective both medically, socially, philosophically, spiritually on this idea. Have we
as a people lost this sense ofthe importance and value of connectedness in this
post COVID era because many of uswere forced to survive in a disconnected world
that now we have forgotten how toconnect. Please shed some light, some
(35:09):
expertise, and some insight because ofour folks and our communities need to hear
this. I think a lot ofpeople never understood connectedness or weren't brave enough
to go there. Connectedness requires vulnerability, and vulnerability requires courage. If people
(35:30):
can see, if you just allowthem to view you, you can never
really connect. And the happiest peopleI know the people with the most joy,
have real, connected, authentic,vulnerable community. And it's what I
wish for everybody. They have itin their youth, they have it in
(35:52):
their adolescence, they have it intheir old age, and it is the
gift. It is the best giftlife can give you. But you have
to well, you got to knowwho to trust. You've got to invest
in that community. Many of usget busy, so busy making money,
buying a big house, or gettingyour next time and trying to you know,
(36:14):
find a boyfriend, trying to raiseyour kids, whatever you're doing,
you know, at the beauty parlor, but not spending enough time on connecting
and loving your friendships and investing.It is the stuff that just the richest
part of life is made of.And I think that some have forgotten and
(36:38):
some never knew, you know,asking your question, who can I trust?
Who brings me joy? Who canI confide in? Who can I
tell secrets to? Who has myback? Who sees me all of me?
Asking those questions and really, youknow, voraciously seeking out that community.
(37:00):
Now, everybody doesn't have to belike your best friend. You have
that right in community. You havepeople you know who are acquaintances You can
party with them, have a greattime with them, but you may not
tell them the secret. You haveother people who are your ride or die,
but you have to spread the seedsand bloom those flowers because when your
(37:22):
kids move off, or you getdivorced, or your good you know,
your one good friend passes away.There you are, you can't build them
later. It's a it's a longgame. And so connectedness, I mean,
it hits every aspect of your life, even especially work. You know,
(37:43):
our parents told us put your headdown, especially black and Latin X
parents, put your head down,get straight a's, and do the best
job and everything will take care ofitself. And we know it's not true.
People who have half of our wit, half of our brain are getting
ahead of us because they're connected.They know the guy who knows the guy,
and they're going to teach you whatyou need to know. They enjoy
(38:07):
working with you, so they're goingto give you a pass, and we
just undervalue what that means. Ido an exercise where I ask people to
take a look. I actually didthis at an Ivy League school with professors
that I was working with, andI said, I want you to write
down all of the people in yourcircle who you feel are your support circle,
(38:31):
who you trust. And they didit, and I said, what
do you notice about the list?And this one woman put her hand in
her head and she just shook herhead and I thought she had a headache.
And I went over and I said, are you okay? She said,
I can't believe my list. Shesaid, I'm an anthropologist. Everyone
(38:52):
on here is my same sex,my gender, my same ethnicity, and
my same race. So where areyou getting perspective? What are you?
Where are you I mean? Andshe just said, I'm so embarrassed.
I'm an anthrobiologist. I know better, and I think you know. We
(39:13):
just we got to get outside ofour boxes. There's so much joy,
trust and love to be found outsideyour box. So there it is the
memo to the producer of this show. We need sound effects. We need
(39:34):
something because when people are bringing pearlsof wisdom off the comfort, off the
top, off the top, andin a way that that I loved your
your your explanation of connectedness and anduh, the idea of the play on
vulnerability and courage and what that reallymeans. It applies the family and implies
the neighbors, friends, community,our students, our kids. So wow,
(40:00):
yeah, for sure, thank you. Thank you. With that being
said, let's let's revisit now you'reyou're graduating Kogate. Your were you clear
about sort of what you were doingnext? Was it? You know?
You zigg and life zagged and youjust ended up somewhere else? Take us,
(40:22):
take us through this just journey.You're graduating in seventy six and and
please take your time. And Iknow there's so much you've done with sharing
the hahs and lows of life professionally, personally and where you ended up to
what you're doing today. Thank youfor the question. I left Colgate and
(40:42):
thank heavens I won the Watson Fellowshipthat took me to do choreography in London.
I really had this idea that wecould take Baharta, not timmy'st Indian
dance, Cuban dance which I love, Africa can dance, ballet, modern
Graham dance, and that we couldcreate an amalgamation of a dance form with
(41:13):
labid notation that could be replicated andthat could bring so many cultures together.
That was my thought, my dream, my hope, and George Faison I
wrote my recommendation. He was afriend at the time and he was doing
the Whiz on Broadway, and DebbieAllen and all these folks, and I
(41:37):
was able to get into the GrahamCompany at the place in London through the
Watson and through the help of thosefolks, and I spent a year there,
which was fascinating. I worked reallyhard. I was probably dancing,
I don't know, eight hours aday. I could barely walk home,
(41:58):
get on the subway. I could. I would laugh because I hurt.
Everything on my body hurt every day. And it was just a fantastic experience.
And when I came back, Iknew I didn't want to go to
medical school. I had. Ihad waitlisted. I'd waitlisted for medical school.
(42:19):
I hadn't gotten in, but Ididn't want to go. And I
realized I had done that for mydad. It wasn't for me. It's
not what I wanted to do.So I thought, well, maybe I'll
apply to law school. That's whatblack people do, medical law school,
that's what we're supposed to do.And then I thought, I don't want
to do either of those things.I just want to stay in the arts.
(42:40):
And I know I'm not supposed todo that, and it will be
frowned upon by my family, butthat's what I'm going to do. And
lucky for me, I auditioned.I got a great audition for a soap
opera and I got it and theywere paying really good money. I was
able to buy co op, Iwas able to buy a car. I
(43:02):
was able to put a little bitaway and continue to do things in the
performing arts, including teaching. Andafter a while I realized, after seven
years, I realized I sang witha group and Pierre Frank and the Swings,
think Tony Orlando and Dawn. Iwas one of the We were in
(43:27):
Ireland on TV and all this stuff. And after seven years, I said,
I can't live this life. Thesepeople are crazy. I love the
art, but I don't like thelifestyle. It's very you have no control.
You're at the Linn director, this, producer, this, this,
this, this is not me.I can't do this. It's been fun.
(43:49):
I loved it, so glad Idid. It wouldn't change a thing,
but I'm out. And I said, I need to find something that's
left brain and right brain, somethingthat is has a discipline to it,
but has creativity and I thought,I know what about design and art,
That's what I'll do. It blendscool. So I go to Parsons Institute,
(44:14):
and my second year in design school, I got a job with the
United Nations through APACU Communications, designingmissions and consulates for Zimbabwe and for quite
a few other countries. It wasa lot of fun. I really liked
it. And then I went toNigeria on one of these because they were
(44:35):
building the city of Abougia and Iwas almost killed there. That was the
first thing. Oh wow. Icame back and I was doing a restaurant
for a woman, a Greek woman, and she called me at like eleven
at night to discuss the color pink. And when I got off the phone,
(44:57):
I said, I don't give anf what color pink it is.
I don't care. And that's whenI realized my heart wasn't in it.
I'm supposed to care about this,and that's when I said, I don't
know what I'm going to do,but it's not this. And I was
talking to a client. He wasthe first black managing director of Goldman Sachs
(45:22):
Garland Wood. I was doing somework in his house, design work and
when I told him how I wasfeeling about. I didn't want to really
do the design work anymore. Hesaid, why don't you get your MBA
and I'll teach you how to bean investment banker. I'm like, I
don't want to do that. Hesaid, well, you can't get your
(45:43):
MBA unless you've worked in a corporation, because you've already been out, you
know too long. I've been outof school like four years. You didn't
go straight, he said, soyou need to get in a six months
at a corporation so that you canat least have the experience. It doesn't
have to be in that bank,it could be anything. And literally,
walking down the street, I walkedpast the IBM building. Friend was standing
(46:07):
there and he's actually the son ofVernon Jordan well through marriage. And I
see him and we start talking andhe's like, yeah, well, you
can't get an NBA if you haven'tmore. I said, I know that,
but I got to find a corporatejob. Who's going to take a
dancer, singer, actress in acorporate job. It's not I don't know
(46:28):
how that's going to work. Andhe looked up and he said, well
what about right here? And Isaid, you mean IBM, and he
said, yeah, just go onand see if you can get an internship.
Wow, I thought, okay,and I became a global director there
and was there for twenty five years, just like that. Well it wasn't
(46:51):
just like that. They told methey weren't. They had a freeze.
We're not hiring. We have afreeze. By the way, you know,
we you'd have to take an iPadtest in order to even be considered
for an interview. I said,well, what's an iPad test. They
said, well, it's a logictest. Blah blah blah blah. Bu
it's three hours. I said,oh, so, as I'm walking out
(47:15):
the door, oh, they said, and we're not giving them anymore because
we have As I'm walking out thedoor, the door doesn't close. It's
about two inches still open, andthe woman sitting there says to me,
come back. I turn around.I walk back, and she says,
we're giving the test Saturday. ToBrendan Byrne, who was the governor of
(47:37):
Jersey at the time, to hisson, you know, they make exceptions
for people like that. If youwant to take it. If you want
to take it, we have aproctor. We have a room, you
can take it. I said,I would like to take it. I
came back Saturday, I took thetest. Monday, I get a phone
call. Can you come in away they did. It was like,
(48:00):
uh, oh, I did somethingwrong. They weren't supposed to get to
the test now. So I goin and I sit down, and they
said, this is really strange.I said what They said, Well,
you didn't go to Rensular Polytech,you didn't go to MIT, you didn't
go blah blah blah, none ofthe schools where people do well on this
test, but you had pretty mucha perfect score. And I said,
(48:22):
well, I had a really goodeducation at COLKI, but I left that
to be a critical thinker. Theysaid, well, you learned something somewhere,
but we're ready to offer you ajob. And that's I ended up
there. And everyone said to me, you're going to make it six months.
(48:42):
You're going to hate it. Iloved it. It was just sort
of the confluence of everything that Ilike to do. You got to meet
a lot of people, You've gotto be creative. It was technology,
but it was I was on thesales side, and you know, you're
mirroring people you know, you knowhow to sell to an introvert versus how
(49:05):
do you sell to an extrovert?You trame you And after twenty five years,
you know, I was married.I've been married forty five years now.
I had two kids, had manymiscarriages, raised my children, and
one day I just woke up andsaid, yeah, I don't want to
do this anymore. I was noticingthat I could pretty much predict with like
(49:29):
a six year streak, who wasgoing to get promoted, who was going
to get fired, who was goingto get down sized, who was going
to get hired not hired. Andthis coaching thing came to me, and
I started doing some certifications and Isaid, I'm going to leave and become
an executive coach and do leadership development. And I've been doing that for eighteen
(49:52):
years. I work for probably thetop twenty companies in the world, and
I cannot mention their names because ofmy contracts with them, but I will
say that they are in technology,private equity, venture capital CpG, and
minimal healthcare and some entrepreneurial startups.I love what I do, adore it,
(50:20):
and people say, well, actually, you're kind of a psychiatrist,
so you actually did become a doctor. So are you Are you a resource
for these companies in the sense ofthe company hires me to coach their CEOs,
their cfo CIOs. Usually it's thetop tier. And as I was
(50:43):
doing this, I said, youknow, this doesn't feel right. I'm
sitting here helping these you know,basically rich people who don't look like me
get even richer. We're talking billionsand multimillions. And I said, you
know, I want to do somethingfor people who look like me. But
unfortunately, most companies aren't paying tocoach people look like me. You have
(51:07):
to get pretty highed to get anexecutive coach. And so I happen to
be doing a talk and heard aboutthis company called Management Leadership for Tomorrow that
was being run by John Rice,Susan Rice from the Obama Administration's brother,
and he was looking to start amid level executive development program for companies across
(51:30):
the corporate landscape in this country.And I was lucky enough to convince him
to let me build it. Wehave put over a thousand mid level black
and brown and Indigenous people through theprogram. It's a nine month program.
It is very intensive. They gettheir own executive coach. I don't coach
(51:52):
in the program. I hire thecoaches. They are filmed a lot so
they can understand how their behave islanding and translating. Get a Hogan assessment
which goes back to zero through sevenyears old, of how they get things
done and how they interact with people. They have coaches that are world class.
(52:16):
I've interviewed over one hundred and twentyfive coaches to find the thirteen that
I use for them. And thesethese are people who coach at the C
suite, who are coaching these midlevel into their future, and they become
like a family. They been togetherthrough this, and the question we ask
(52:40):
is what does even better look like? That's the only question I'm trying to
answer in the program. And eventhough different for every single person, but
when you take the race card offthe table and the ethnicity card off the
table, and you put these peoplein a program where they are allowed to
(53:01):
be flawed for a moment, they'reallowed to try things they would never try
at the company because they want to. They most of us operate not to
fail, and when you operate notto fail, you don't operate at peak
performance. You're looking for snipers.You're operating so that you don't make a
(53:22):
mistake, and we know what happens. Then it's like operating with one hand
tied behind your back. Program youget to operate to succeed. You get
to see people like you, andyou get to form a community. Back
to that connectedness again, bring it, bring it, and these people share
(53:43):
everything. We even have an imagesession where we discuss for two or three
hours with a lot of wine anda lot of chocolate. What is blocking
your joy? What does that looklike for each of you? And the
stories you hear you wouldn't even believe. And they support one another in unblocking
(54:07):
success, joy, connectedness and allthe things that they need to be even
better unapologetically. And it's one ofthe things I think I am most proud
of that program. Their companies eachpay about twenty five thousand that goes to
(54:27):
MLT, not to me, butthey are given a year of curation,
individual curation to take them from wherethey were. And people say, well,
why do they need it. They'realready mid level at you know,
Google or whatever. They're making Nono, no, no no, they're
going to stop there. Why can'tthey continue to elevate? They can't because
(54:52):
they're not sure what it takes.They don't have a kitchen cabinet. These
coaches know what it is takes.I know what it takes, and so
we are able to unblock. Weare able to lift the curtain and show
them the secret sauce and help themto be all they came here to be.
(55:14):
So it's really the thing I thinkI'm most proud of. I also
teach at Columbia University with I workmostly with the professors and the deans,
helping them with their own leadership.And then I do one class, one
large class for the master's and graduatesstudents and PhD students in real estate development
(55:38):
on how to close a deal becauseclosing a deal you do have to have
your hard skills, but a lotof it is very behavioral if you think
about pathos and logos and how youinteract. But a lot of those foundational
things came from my COVID education.Full circle love that thank you, thank
(56:02):
you for those jets. You're welcome, and I just want people to invent
themselves instead of trying to find themselves, because you're not lost. We started
the conversation touching on the topic ofwhat are we trying to accomplish with?
Afficate and you are this conversation isexactly what we're trying to accomplish with.
(56:31):
Before I get to my next question, when you ask people what does better
look like? I gotta probe alittle bit. Is that better? In
terms of the elevation that we're talkingabout, it starts with your value system.
If you don't know your core values, you don't know yourself. Your
(56:52):
core values are your joint factors.For some people it's family, for some
people it's there going skiing, orfor some people it's prayer and church.
But what would you How would yourlife be not so good if you didn't
(57:15):
have those things in it? Andhow would it be the best it could
be if you had those things init? And there are assessments we can
do that help you understand your motives, values and preferences. But if you
don't understand your values, you arerudderless. You will stand for nothing and
fall for anything. So I thinkit starts with values, and how are
(57:39):
you aligning and giving voice to yourvalues every day in your leadership, in
your work, in your family.And that's a lot of what I work
on in that program. And it'samazing how many people haven't had the luxury
to think about values. I gotto put food on my table to get
(58:00):
a job. I can't think aboutvalues. Okay, well, now you
have food on the table, youhave a great job. It's time to
think about values, because that iswhere your joy and the best of who
you are it's going to happen.And if you are working outside of your
own values and you find that you'relet me split that. If you find
(58:21):
that you are not as happy asyou think you'd like to be or content,
check your values, check the alignment. If you're out of alignment,
it's just not happy. I don'tcare how much money you have. I
don't care how pretty you are,how thin you are, how fill in
the blank you are if you're outof alignment with your core values. So
when I'm coaching, if I'm coachinga Hasidic Jewish man a goal at one
(58:45):
of these big investment banks and hesays, my highest value is my religion,
I know that man's not going towork on Saturday, and so how
can I help him to get tobecome a managing partner without working on Saturday?
Because that's non negotiable. I'm goingto work with someone else who said
(59:08):
my highest value is to have aFerrari by the time I'm forty five.
I don't judge that that's your value. We're gonna figure out how we gonna
make that happen. Someone else says, you know, my greatest value is
to do homework and kiss my childrengood night every night. Okay, so
how are we going to take thejob you have and the career you want
(59:30):
and figure out that calculus when bothof those things can happen, Because then
you will be a better manager,a better leader, a better boss,
a better husband, a better everything, because your alignment is tight with your
joy factors and what makes you you, which is a perfect, perfect segue
(59:55):
into understanding that the journey in lifeis also the education, right, It's
also the growth. It's also thetransformation that we all go through. Someone
that's more conscious of it than others. If you had to go back to
your time at Kogate, you're enteringKogate now eighteen years old, high school
(01:00:17):
graduate, what advice, what wordsof wisdom would you have given to a
young sister Price then, as wellas the advice you would give to sister
Price graduating Koga, going into theworld, that you would give to yourself,
you know, don't try to followa track that your parents have laid,
(01:00:42):
that you saw in a magazine,whatever, because if you hold fast
to this track, this thing youthink you're supposed to do, you might
forfeit your actual destiny exiting Kolgate.I think the advice I would give to
myself is you don't have to knowall the answers, and you don't have
(01:01:09):
to get everything right. This nextfive years is about learning and inventing and
iterating. Learn, invent, learn, invent, learn event And I think
that's what I did. And peoplethought I was not there, like,
(01:01:30):
wait, Matte first, you're doingan actor. Now your mom, what
are you doing? And I wouldhave I should have been able, and
I didn't have the wisdom of thetime to say, now, this is
exactly what I should be doing,because it all connects part of the journey.
It's part of the journey, andthe journey is the whole thing.
(01:01:54):
Hm. Wow. So this hasbeen an amazing journey this episode. But
as we come up on the end, the last question we tend to ask
people it's really just an opportunity foryou to share it initiative. Promote an
(01:02:14):
opportunity something that you'd like to sharewith the listeners so that they could learn
more about something that matters to you. They might support something that matters to
you. Is there a cause,a website that you'd like to lift up?
So there are two things, ifI can be so oldest to ask
(01:02:36):
for two. The first one isthe National Forest Foundation, which is part
of the United States Department of Agriculture. We have vast forests across this country
and watersheds the water we drink.The NFF, the National Forest Foundation is
a board I've been on for twelveyears under the Department of Agriculture, and
(01:03:00):
I was the chairman of the board. I actually just stepped down after twelve
years because that's the statute of limitationsfor board membership. But send five dollars,
you know, plant a tree.I mean, are the asthma and
the issues that our black children andbrown children have in the inner city and
the quality of water. It startsand ends many times with these water straits
(01:03:25):
and forests and the indigenous species andthe work that we're doing. This is
our country too. Everything we dodoesn't have to have a black or brown
label on it. Trees are green, We need the carbon sequest duration,
we need the fresh water, andso that's one of the things I would
ask NFF. And then the otherthing is the Management Leadership for Tomorrow MLT.
(01:03:52):
If you know anybody who's a sophomorein college and they have a decent
GPA, they should apply to seeif they can get in. They will
have coaching throughout the rest of theircollege years, they will have access to
the best jobs in the country,and they will have a cohort of about
(01:04:15):
two hundred and fifty or more peoplewho look like them, who will be
like their family. If you're lookingto do your MBA, MLT has the
same program. And I know whenmy son was in grad school at Harvard,
he said pretty much everybody in hisMBA class who looked like him came
through MLT. And then the programthat I built, the Career Advancement program.
(01:04:42):
For people in mid career, youknow, get your company to buy
a seat, or if their company'salready buying a seat, see if you
can get that seat. Finally,for people who are much later in career,
I would say people in their youknow, fifties sixties. There's a
program at MLT has called self andit helps them to get on paid boards,
(01:05:04):
it helps them to they have asmall cohort, and it also helps
them to figure out what they're goingto do as they retire and with the
rest of their life, and theyget an agent who actually helps them to
plan and navigate this last mile oftheir professional life. So MLT Management Leadership
(01:05:27):
for Tomorrow is a great resource forIndigenous, LATINX and Black folks who are
professional and there are many verticals involved, whether it's investment, banking, whether
it's film and media. They don'thave a legal track, law and medicine
(01:05:49):
or not included, but pretty mucheverything else is included in it. At
least just go online and check itout. And if not for you or
as a relative or a friend,who could use this resource that is so
rich and is such a such ahelpful step if you can just catapult over
(01:06:17):
five or six years of trying tobuild through the utilization of their programs.
People who get those internships, theyusually land full time jobs. And why
make it difficult, connectedness, useall the help you can find, because
that's what people who don't look likeus are doing. We think we get
(01:06:40):
a prize for doing it ourselves.It just takes long. Mhm. Well,
any any final last words before weget out of here. No,
I guess I just want to thankyou for inviting me and for engaging with
me in this lively conversation. Ididn't really know about what this was,
(01:07:06):
but I didn't want to not sayyes because it's Coldgate and you know you
want to do things for your school. But I will now go back and
listen to some of the other episodesand learn from others who are in my
Colgate tribe who I have never metand may never meet, but I will
(01:07:28):
get to connect with them virtually andhopefully some you have met. Hopefully there
are some that have been in yournetwork and community. This has been another
episode of after Gate season four.Thank you to our guests, Thank you
to our listeners. Aftergate is alwayspowered by the Defilfe Network, so make
sure you check us out in thefuture on all of your favorite podcast streaming
(01:07:51):
platforms because we have many more dopeepisodes to follow. I am adding something
based on our last episode with whensome rud and her mother saying, I
just found it to be so dopethat we should do the best you can
and all the ways you can,for the people you can, for as
long as you can. And rememberthat the Kogi of your day is not
(01:08:12):
the coged of today, and it'scertainly not the cogate of the future.
Peace family. You hear that,listen closer, that, my friend,
is the defini sut of focus.It drowns out all the useless noise that
can clutter. The only nay sayersdon't exist, haters, smaters, the
(01:08:32):
peanut gallery. Who's that When you'rein your zone, all that noise and
all that buzz is just elevator music. So enjoy your journey, focus on
your goal in basque, in thechoiet role that is progressed, because when
it's your time to shoot that shot, spit that verse and close that deal.
The only voice that matters, it'syours, the firelight. If you're
(01:09:01):
a business looking to get your brandin front of a loyal, supportive,
successful market, you need to becomea sponsor of Aftergate. Our network recognizes
the opportunity to work with Codgate's alum of color to leverage the reach of
the show to increase awareness and profitabilityfor your business. Reach out to the
Defile Life podcast network and we willwork with you throughout the entire process.
(01:09:25):
We have special packages to get youstarted. Contact us at info at godofirelife
dot com. Every week professionals ofcolor, ranging from politicians to educators,
to judges, to entrepreneurs to lawyers, corporate leaders, and even retirees.
Aftergate reaches an array of successful bipodlisteners, contact us to learn more about
(01:09:48):
how we can benefit you.
Popular Podcasts
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com