June 8, 2024 • 68 mins
Alvin and German conduct a great conversation with Author and Entrepreneur, Dan Gasby.’76. Dan began his career at a UHF TV station in Tennessee, where he embarked on a highly successful journey in television sales and production. He created and co-produced "Big Break," a musical variety show hosted by Natalie Cole that served as a forerunner to "American Idol," launching the careers of Eric Benét and R. Kelly. In 1992, Dan produced the first televised Essence Awards. He co-authored "Before I Forget: Love, Hope, Help, and Acceptance in Our Fight Against Alzheimer’s" with his late wife, Barbara “B.” Smith, and Michael Shnayerson. The book details the daily challenges they faced as a couple coping with Alzheimer's. Dan holds a Bachelor of Arts in Philosophy and Religion.
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(00:00):
The following podcast is being brought toyou by the Defile Life podcast Network.
Welcome to Aftergate, powered by theDefile Life Network. Are you all Ready?
Aftergate is a podcast series highlighting Colgatealumni of color in their professional endeavors.
(00:23):
Aftergate. Are You all Ready?Aftergate? Is hosted by Alvin Glymph
aka al and Herman Dubois aka AJerry? Are you all ready? We
are doing Aftergate because Colgate University hasproduced innovators who have changed the world every
day, Yet many alumni of colorand the mainstream Colgate community are unaware of
the amazing accomplishments of alums of color? Are you all ready? Welcome?
(00:53):
Welcome, Welcome. This is yourboy, Alvin Glymph, co host of
this podcast after Gate, and youknow after Gate is that weekly podcast where
we are focused solely on interviewing,amplifying, documenting the stories of Colgate's alumni
of color. And it has beenhonestly an amazing journey because so far we
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are batting one hundred percent in termsof the fascinating stories, empowering stories from
the innovators that have graced Colgates campus, some of the best that have ever
fross the stage have been on ourpodcast four seasons deep eighty plus episodes.
(01:42):
Check our resume boo. But asyou know, before I get too far
into the banter, let me makesure I bring my co host and mister
headmind Dupois aka Jerry. What's upmy brother? How you doing, brother
Glenn Fall as well as well,Uh, good to see you again.
Off of reunion weekend and being upin Hamilton and connecting with you and then
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and a bunch of brothers always alwayspositive. Came back with a sense of
gratitude for the opportunity again and sawsome folks that you know, don't know
if we're gonna see again, youknow. Uh so uh but and flowers
were delivered, so it was.It was a good weekend, uh,
and excited about this next chapter ofAftergate. Yeah, no doubt, man.
(02:30):
Very powerful weekend. You know.The idea that we were able to
one be part of just the gatheringof so many alumni of color, but
also be part of the celebrating thefiftieth anniversary of UNI DA as well as
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the UMF union minority folk was justpowerful and uh, you know, just
playing a role in that is awesome. And the fact that Aftergate got a
lot of love, continues to geta lot of love from our alumni of
color as well as you know,Kogate in general is just awesome. And
so you know, we don't keepdoing our thing and being part of this
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movement, trying to make sure thatwe are claiming are part of this Kogate
story. And let's not forget alsothe fiftieth anniversary of the first class of
graduating women, So we had acouple of sisters up there that you know,
this is when you know, youknow that that God is good,
right, because I can't Kogate wastough enough. I can't think of going
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through Kogate without no sisters on campus. And although I didn't have the luxury
to know that many of my myhomies found their wives, found their sole
partner at Kogate, yes I did, Yes, I did. You know
the two of the two out ofthe three in this picture behind me,
you know that met their partners andand happy, beautiful families with those sisters.
(03:57):
And so that that's the untold story, the Koge love story. Shout
out to another Koge couple that you'rereferencing to, Williams Steve and Danielle Williams
shout out yes, yes, yes, you indeed, it was awesome to
be in the presence of those trailblazers, the first class of women who went
through four years of Colgate, andso to be honest, they had a
(04:20):
direct impact influence on the guests wehad tonight and the fact that we have
this individual as a guest. So, without further ado, can I get
your blessing to bring this week's guestto the studio and the congregation says amen,
let's roll, oh man, myman, Colgate after Gate listeners aoc
(04:46):
in the building. I'd like yourblessing to bring the one, the only
into the studio. Mister Dan Gaspy, class of nineteen seventy six, Welcome
to Aftigate, my brother, sodelighted to be here to see what you
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young cats that followed me and allof our other friends and a lumpie doing
something to memorialize what we all hadthe unique experience of enduring, enjoying,
and surviving the lovely Shangle Valley.Yes, sure, sir. So you
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know we always like to share alittle context of how we know this guest.
Is this a guest that we crosspaths with? It's a guest we
have interacted with in this particular instance, coming out of this past alumni reunion,
one of the sisters who were partof that additional class of Kogate in
hearing about what our show was allabout. Not only did she agree to
(06:11):
be on this show, but I'mgonna leave her nameless because I want her
to sign up first. Not onlydoes she I'm gonna get on, but
she said, you need to makesure you get Dan Gaspy on as a
guest because his story is fascinating.And So when I reached out to this
brother yesterday yesterday like we got homeSunday, I called one day the next
(06:38):
day, we are doing this podcast. So I just appreciate his willingness to
jump on. Well, you know, I believe in the word now no
opportunity wasted. Yeah, as youknow, with the fiftieth anniversary of the
first class of women to graduate andwhat the ALC has been and does and
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in a remarkable way remind us thattime waits for no one. And when
you approached me, Alvin, Iwanted to, you know, to jump
in, to to lean on,lean in and just whatever I can add
to the remarkable stories that you've you'veacquired and and and cataloged. I'm just
(07:28):
happy to be a part and seethe people before me, like you,
two guys doing things that were memorializewhat made our I guess, our ability
to uh move through the gate memorable? Okay, okay, So let's start
off thinking and talking about life beforeKocae. So first, where are you
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from? Originally it's born in Bedsty. I was born, you know,
uh on a place on a streetcalled Pacific Street between Brooklyn and Kingston Avenue.
Back in the day, I usedto call Kingston and in Pacific Street
on the corner do Bad Avenue becauseif you were standing on the corner,
you were looking to do bad.So for my listeners, you know,
(08:20):
as I show love to Brooklyn,you might remember I was born on Kingston
Avenue, So we do have aconnection there because I am also from Brooklyn
and born on Kingston. And notonly that, but where you were born
and initially raised was literally across thestreet from my first public school, PS
two time on Kingston Saint Mark's.Yes, my brothers attended that school.
(08:45):
I left Kingston at the age offour, so I did not, but
I know exactly what you're talking about. You know exactly what you're talking about.
So the circle is definitely complete,my brother. So take us back
to what you remember that time then, So in the sixties, what do
you remember about your life? Whatdo you remember about New York, Brooklyn,
(09:07):
the world? Give us a paintpicture so we know what's the context.
As you're entering Covid Well and you'retalking in class of seventy two.
Presumer Right High School was class ofseventy two. Yeah. Yeah, I
went to Brooklyn pat you know,and actually I left in my junior year,
but I scored very well on theSATs. And a guy named al
Van State Senative had the African AmericanTeachers Association, and so young blacks could
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go and to the Teachers Association officebecause they were trying to get more young
black women and men into colleges.And they had every book imaginable college book
from Abilene Christian to you know,to young Town, Youngstown State. And
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I went in there and I reallyread every book. And one of the
things I noticed about Colgate and otherschools was that you needed to have,
you know, requirements, but notnecessarily degrees from high school and coming that
I had already had four years ofmath. I had had three years of
(10:18):
social studies. And someone said tome, applied and Alvan was there.
I applied there. I applied toCornell, I applied to Stanford, I
applied to Williams. I applied toIce, you know, and I applied
to Vassa. And one of thethings that I learned early on from my
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father's he says, always get insomeone's space. Now, don't just be
a piece of paper. But youcan tell yourself if they can look at
you, and you can look atthem, and you can read the tea
leaves or read the person, thehuman being in front of you. That
went to like five different interviews.And I went to Kogate and I'll never
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forget I met an interesting man.And this is a strange story, but
it's true. I met guy V. Martin, who was one of the
professors there, and he was soengaging in religion, and you know,
he was the dean, and Ijust thought it was cool to be talking
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to Dean Martin. I went toCornell and I coming out of Tech there
were six thousand guys and the largestclass back then was I think probably eighty
or ninety students at the Gate,and I just the campus was beautiful,
(11:54):
went out a bad style. Imean, you didn't have that kind of
setting. I mean really it waslike it was like being in a you
know, being in a cemetery,but everybody was still alive. That's how
pretty it was and how manicure itwas. You know. I fell in
love with wanting to go someplace different, not being and and you know,
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a large university. And that's that'swhat was the major reason I ended up
going to Colgate. Wow, where'syour family from? Originally like, yeah,
where are they from? My mymy father's family goes back seventeen fifty
four in a little town called Gloucester, right next to Jamestown. Wow,
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and others, you know, andmy mother's family was from North Carolina as
we say, North Cakilaki, NorthCakilaki, North Cailak. And so you
know, he was a brilliant guy. He was a beautiful man. He
got he never went to college,but he graduated twice from high school.
(13:03):
He was also you know, healso had a had a number route,
so he was he knew how tomove with the people. You know,
he he knew you know, heknew how to to work within different let's
call it environments, and those thingsserved me well while I was at the
(13:24):
Gate. Okay, okay, okay. So Brooklyn Tech is, for those
who don't know, a very rigorousacademic school. What was the academic transition
like as you get there? Actuallythe academic and I apologize, but with
doing this live, those are myI have three Italian masters, Connie Crosso
(13:46):
and that's uh, that's Zeus,and I have Biggie named after Biggie Small,
and then I have right now,it's the Mommy Sonson named after the
game of Throne sans to Star.It was rigorous, you know, even
the dumb kids were smart at Tech. I mean you know, at that
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time it was the second largest auditoriumin New York City next to Radio City,
was like five thousand. And whenyou took a test, you took
the test for either Tech or science, bront science or cyber specialized schools.
They would basically say, look tothe left of you, look to the
right of you. Two of youwon't be here at graduation. So I
(14:37):
understood how to compete. You neverafraid of competition. I welcomed competition,
and even today I never you know, I would rather run into the fire
that didn't watch it burn. SoI felt very good about going to the
Gate. And the thing about thatwas in Brooklyn Tech even that they were
(15:00):
very people have kids. So whenyou go to Colgate at that time,
I think there was like one hundredstudents on campus, like twenty five hundred
in total. I mean, andthey're from all over and you know,
when you're from Brooklyn, basically theworld is Brooklyn, you know, I
mean, Brownsville was almost another country, you know, much less from,
(15:24):
or if you were dating a girl, you go to a geographically undesired area
like you know, right, youknow, like like like like you know,
or Hollis or one of those,one of those communities. So it
was, you know, it wasa challenge. And it's cold, you
know. The saying when I wasat Colgate was there was only two temperatures
(15:48):
in the winter time. It wasabsolute zero and meat locker. You know,
I remember and uh not Stilman,but uh uh who I can see
it right now, uh across fromacross from Andrews and Stillman. We would
open the windows up and jump outthe windows into the oat drifts, you
(16:14):
know, I mean, I haveto tell you a funny story. Yeah,
I was at Case. I wasI did it all night at one
time at Case, and uh Ilooked out over over the uh the quadrangle
and everything, and I saw thisguy coming coming towards us, my first
(16:34):
all nighter in the library. Andthe snow was up to his neck.
And I had never seen that before. And I said, oh my god,
I think I'm gonna die. WhatI what I didn't know was that
he was actually a small person,you know, he was like a midget.
(16:56):
And Brian is a and the snowand it freaked me out, you
know. Uh and and I startedlaughing, and uh, it was.
It was one of those things thatany ever been one to cold gate,
No, well, it snows,it snows, and oh it's so cold
(17:21):
it stops. You know. Peopledon't realize that you need a certain temperature.
That was the first time I sawa guy with snow up to his
neck. Equation. Wow. Doyou remember the dorms you lived in?
Like, where where'd you stay?Any any memory of that? Andrews I
lived in, uh oh h,the East Hall. I lived in East
(17:45):
Hall. I lived in Andrews andI lived down and was it Newkirk.
Uh No, the the apartments,Yeah, no, that was down there.
No. The the thing is itwas it was always it was always
beautiful. It was always beautiful.You are coming in right after some major
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campus activism, right, I mean, if I remember correctly, nineteen sixty
nine is a pivotal year in termsof like a protest and them taking over
a building. So I'm just curious, what do you remember about that time
in terms of the the climate ofthe campus. Well, well, the
(18:32):
climate was people were engaged and proudof who they were, and they you
know, hey, look you're inan environment where, you know, from
downtown Hamilton to Norwich to Birmington tobeing was to Binghamton, I mean there
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basically were no black people, youknow, I mean, I mean,
I mean you you know, thatwas like sixty miles seventy miles, you
know, and what do we usedto say? There was there was one
street light called the and then therewas the bank was called the Bank,
you know, and it was aninteresting time. It was very interesting.
(19:22):
But the brothers there were very,very dedicated about self identification and being proud
of who and what we are andwhat we wanted to project. Yeah,
You mentioned a little bit about thetransition academically, but and sort of how
you felt prepared for it based onwhat Brooklyn Tech have prepared you for.
(19:45):
But what about it socially? Whatabout it culturally? Yes, you found
your posse, so to speak,but what was it like dealing with the
mainstream population? I go Gate,but you know what I have to tell
you, I didn't have as muchas a problem because I went to UH.
I went to a school called HouddieJunior High School. I was bussed
(20:10):
to PS two sixty sixty nine fromto eighty nine to sixty nine on Newkirk
and uh Lotion Avenue. And Iwas in what back then they used to
have all of these designations IGC,which was intellectually gifted and then see and
I was the only black kid inIGC, and I was the only black
(20:32):
kid in the SP classes. Itwas fine. I'm primarily Jewish. I
was. I was surrounded by youknow, you know, in a class
of thirty, probably twenty five kidswere Jewish, and then there'd be one
or two Italian kids and one ortwo Irish kids, and and then and
then me, you know, souh, I I never I could I
(20:56):
competed, you know, and soI never felt uh, I never felt
out of sorts. I just didn'thave the same resources that they did.
But it gave me a good insighton coming to Kogate because I wasn't intimidated.
What'd you end up majoring in philosophyand religion? Oh? Yes,
(21:19):
sure, yes, sir? Wasthat was that by default? Behind that?
Can you how you ended up there? Uh? No, it was
you know, I met Jerry Balmouthshout out to Professor Bama, and he
was he was amazing. You know. He wanted me to go to Duke
(21:40):
Divinity School. I mean, hesays, you know, he says,
gas me, I'll walk into doyou know you understand you understand how to
look at uh situations from both perspectivesand then be able to articulate them and
do them equally well. So yeah, doctor Baumouth was was a very big
influence on my life. And Istill at times refer you know to what
(22:03):
when he when, I'll never forget, you know, when you think about
Descartes, I think therefore I am. I realized being in the moment is
the most important thing, you know, And uh, he gave me a
whole appreciation what existence is and thewhole notion that you know, understanding experience
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and that basically, you know,the whole world screwed up. But it's
the only game in town. Soplay it win, don't you know,
don't don't should have all over yourself. I should have did this, I
should have done that act result ofof Jerry B. Jerry B. That's
(22:45):
dope. Uh. Any extracurricular activitieswhile you on campus, any organizations,
you know. I was on thefootball team for a while, and but
I you know what, I lovelife. Let me just put it to
you that way. I loved life, and I would travel a lot,
(23:06):
you know, but I always Ialways felt good about being at Colgate because
it was a special place with aspecial place, and and it helped me.
I'll tell you, I've met somany interesting people who have gone on
from Colgate that I'd run into,you know, like Chase Carrie. I
(23:30):
mean, I was in television andI'd run into Chase, you know,
I was, you know, itgave me a unique experience about dealing with
people at another level. You know, when you look at your time at
Kolgate, what would you reference asyour accomplishments Oh wow, that's a good
(23:52):
question. Understanding that, well,you know what, I'll tell you something
very interesting, understanding as I gotolder that being in an all white environment
can be positive and that you canfigure out that these guys are not any
(24:15):
different than you. They just havecertain advantages that you never had. Don't
get angry. Think before you feel. I learned that biggest thing I learned
out of Colgate is don't get caughtinto the trap of feeling insecure and don't
allow yourself to to to slash slashout with anger. I think before you
(24:45):
feel. I don't know if I'veever heard that phrase. Yeah, I
think if I could take one thingthat if I had to epitomize my experience
at Colgate was to think before youfeel. Because I met a lot of
you know, hey, there wasprejudice up there, don't get me wrong,
(25:07):
and there was attitude up there.But I learned and a lot of
that goes back to being a philosophymajor. Being you know, one of
the things I used to do andI still do to this day, if
I walk into a meeting or aroom, I will position myself and look
(25:29):
at everything and look at everybody andthen try to imagine me looking at everyone
from another position than where I am. So I'm watching what's being said to
each other in the room other thanme and to me from a secondary position,
(25:49):
And so I'm trying to imagine whattheir body language, what their attitude,
how they're fidgeting, how what they'rewriting, how they come back at
me, not necessarily from where Isaid, but from another point watching me
react to watching them. Wow.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
(26:14):
yeah. That's deep right there.And we're gonna like Yoda just a little
bigger and darker. Okay, justa little bigger. When when when you
think of your overall four year experience, you know, are there any uh
you know, sort of highlights orwhat you consider your victories by any standard
(26:34):
over the four years, and whenyou reflect, uh most importantly appreciating being
in a different, unnatural environment forme, h Hamilton, New York,
in the middle of farm country.Uh, you know, not understanding that
(27:00):
look doesn't come out of a outof a carton, but out of a
cow. Then that people who Inever ever would have expected had prejudice against
me, but also surprisingly also hasempathy for me. It opened me up.
I mean, it's one thing tobe in New York or be in
(27:22):
Brooklyn, you know, and dealwith people, whatever their ethnicity or whatever
their neighborhood. But when you're inHamilton and you've got to move around between
Norwich and Binghamton and going over toHamilton College and Utica Syracuse, that's another
(27:44):
world and you better be attuned tounderstanding and trying to decipher how those people
lived. So I was a sponge. I was. It's funny because that
that never gets old because I justdrove on Sunday from Hamilton to Syracuse Airport
(28:07):
and going and coming. I'm lookingaround, like, how in the hell
yeah end up? Even even thirtyfive years later, I'm still like,
how in the hell did I endup? Help here? Hey? You
could be that could be Idaho?Right, yeah, right, right,
right right? I mean so,but you learn you have any sense of
(28:36):
inquisitiveness and uh, the ability tosay I'm going to make the most out
of whatever I'm giving you, itsharpens you, you know. And if
you I can look you guys inthe eye and tell you I'm a very
(28:57):
confident person. That doesn't mean Iknow it all, but I'm not afraid
to fail. And if I messup, I fess up. You won't
meet a better guy to be ina fox hole with than me. You
(29:18):
won't find a better guy If Isay I got you, The only way
I don't is because someone got mebefore I could get to help you.
But and what do you say yourmiddle name was? Again runs with Theodore
and Simon Alvin, No wonder,Oh you got to have that? I
(29:45):
mean some of us are born withit. Some of us is honed by
being tempered through life. I don'tknow if I was born with it,
but I certainly was tempered and thatprocess was going into a totally different environment.
I mean, I've lived in Memphis, I've lived in Jacksonville, I've
(30:08):
lived in Atlanta, in Chicago,I spend my summers in South America.
Uh, I don't I enjoy notknowing any thing or anyone and figuring out
how to make it happen. Ido want to ask one question about the
(30:29):
Cultural Center, because that too wasearly in its formation. When you get
on campus, what is that like? And were you did you go there
a lot? What do you rememberabout the Culture Center? Oh? Well,
you know what? I remember SamJohnson. I remember she was like
she was a sister from another mother, Amani. I remember it was a
(30:55):
place where we could go and itwas an oasis. It was an over
You know, what most people don'tunderstand about us is that we're always trivialized,
or we're always as I or kmartit back in the day. We're
always discounted. And there where wecan go and talk shit and be able
(31:22):
to joke with each other, butto let our hair down and not feel
that we're being judged. It was. It was an oasis. It was
it was more than worthwhile. Allright. So we'll take a pause right
there so we can show some loveto our sponsor and come back and finish
up the second half of this conversationwith the Good Brother Dan Gaspie, class
(31:45):
of nineteen seventy six. So thisepisode is sponsored by Hope Murals. Hope
Murals is a nonprofit that provides adolescentyouth with an interactive experience of creative expression
via an urban arts platform that stimulatesboth mental and physical development. Please visit
(32:07):
that website at www dot murals dotorg to learn more and find ways you
can support the work they do.Welcome back, We are back here the
second half of this show. Weare interviewing the amazing Dan Gaspi class of
(32:30):
nineteen seventy six, looking forward tohearing what his life has been like after
Gate. But before we jump in, we always like to thank our sponsor,
Hope Murals, because we are soappreciative of all they're doing to expose
our youth to urban arts. Basedout of southern Florida, but they're doing
work throughout the country. Make sureyou get on their website, Hopemurals dot
(32:51):
org to learn more about all they'redoing to expose our kids to the arts
as well as helping them with theirdevelopment to be better people social media at
Hope Euros. Also make sure youshow some love to the network the the
fire Life Network go to fire LifeCo. And they also have a podcast
(33:12):
hub where you can find aftigating otherpodcasts at defilifepods dot com. Just a
reminder, our show is on allof your major podcast streaming services from Apple
Pods to Spreaker, the Spotify toour Heart. Make sure you like a
subscribe so that you'll get an alertwhen we drop the next episode on Saturdays
(33:32):
at thirteen hundred hours. And asalways, we always want to make sure
we show some love to the alumswho have graced us as guests. Got
to shout them out because without them, and they're great stories, we would
not have a show. So bigup to them. Now, let's jump
back into the second half of thisshow, brother Gasby, before we get
into what your life has been likesince Colgate. Would love to get your
(33:57):
thoughts on this particular issue I am. I'm a owner of a business,
so I am a black business owner. And one of the things that I
love to hear people's perspective on,particularly those who are supporters of black businesses,
to hear their why, because Ithink it is extremely important that people
(34:19):
are intentional and wanted to get yourthoughts on why it's important to support black
businesses. Well, the most importantthing my wife and I we had three
restaurants, a TV show, amagazine, we had licensing business for twenty
years. Well we did over abillion dollars in sales, and you know,
(34:45):
the most important thing is that blackpeople need to support us. And
it's still one of the bugger bootsthat I've seen where a lot of people
don't want to or they put blackpeople when it's a black person in situations
(35:06):
make them work extra hard for thesame dollar that they won't do non black
businesses. It's a it's an uglyreality, and I don't I don't believe
in masking or or or you know, washing over those types of situations.
You know, I've supported, youknow, movies by artists that I didn't
(35:30):
necessarily enjoy, but I would goand at least look at because I knew
how important it was to get tothe next level. I mean, if
you look at someone, I'll giveyou a perfect if you look at someone
like Spike Lee. He put alot of people in the business and all
(35:52):
the time. You know, Ididn't like every movie. I love some,
some were okay, but I understoodwhat Spike was trying to do.
He was trying to further extend theopportunities for people who look like us.
Because it is easy, you know, everything is in life is simple,
(36:16):
but it's not easy. You know, work hard, get ahead. Yeah,
the process is what kills most people, or most people don't get the
opportunity because they don't get the funding, or they don't get the critical mass,
or they get hyper criticized where someoneelse doesn't. I've seen it in
the restaurant business, where you know, people who were blocked coming into a
(36:40):
restaurant, were super critical, andthen they go to another restaurant and they
were super forgiving. And it's stillin this day and age, in twenty
twenty four, still a situation wherewe make us work hard harder for for
(37:00):
a dollar, then we do someother people. No, that's no.
Let me tell you something. Youknow, it's it's true, it's it's
it's it's the ugly underbelly of whoand what we do to each other.
(37:22):
Mm hmmm. I'll be interested inin in getting your philosophical perspective. And
I know we don't normally do thisin double little deeper, but where where
does that? Where do you thinkthat comes from? It's it's why is
it that you feel there's a reluctanceto support in our ventures self hatred?
(37:42):
It's internalized. It's part of thecolonization of our our minds over the course
of four hundred years, over thecourse of the you know color is you
know color and education and and whoare you? It's still persistent today.
(38:07):
M m hm. And we don'twant to talk about it. I mean
we don't, you know, thereare things we don't want to talk about.
And mental health. But we alsodon't want to talk about how,
you know, how difficult it isbeing a person of color or being a
black person dealing with your own people. Mm hmmmm. Yes, you know
(38:30):
you're right, and and and peopleyou know, they don't want to say
that to the larger society or toyou know, to the general population,
but you know it's it's health,it's help, you know, because in
reality, the simple calculus, inreal, in reality, in life is
(38:52):
that people only do throw things foryou. They either kill for you or
they kill you. Mm hmm.It's a binary situation. And anybody tells
you it's not it's not gray.It's binary. I'm either gonna overlook or
try to make or give you everyopportunity, or I'm gonna be hypercritical or
(39:15):
critical and take you out, evenunwittingly. Mhm. And we and we
do it better than anyone else toeach other. And that comes from damn
near seventy years of observation looking atme, looking at the social inters of
(39:38):
who and what we are. Definitelysome depth there, and would love to
explore that that subject further. Buthey, you know, I'm telling the
truth, no doubt. That's whyit was a mic drop and left the
room and the show could have endedthere, but there's still so much of
(39:59):
the story. So walk us through. Now you graduate seventy six, you
know, were you like many ofus who had sort of no idea what
we were doing next, We werejust happy to survive Kogate in Hamilton?
Or did you have a strategy andwalk us through you exit Kogate and through
the decades, the highs and thelows of what you want to share personally
professionally to what you're doing today.I'll give you the I'll give you this
(40:22):
this sixty second I left, Iwent to work at Saint Vincent's Boys' homes.
I saw what was going on atSaint Vincent's boys home with the priests,
and I was very upset with whatwas going on. I actually took
(40:43):
a basketball and hit somebody, hita priest because I didn't like what he
was doing. And I don't haveany problems about saying that because it was
forty years you know. Then Iwent and I got a job working in
the garment business, the Schmier business. And because I grew up and going
(41:05):
to Hodey and being around the people, well, a lot of people who
were Jewish. I understood Yiddish andstuff like that, and I did.
I did well. But a womansaid to me one day, she says,
Dan, you shouldn't be schlepping thein the garment district. I'm going
to introduce you to somebody, andyou should be in television, selling advertising
(41:30):
and long story short, it isa grass a great story. I met
a guy. He told me heonly had fifteen minutes to talk. I
ended up talking to him for twoand a half hours, and he said,
I don't have a job for you, but I'm going to sing it
to a guy down in Washington namedBarren McDaniels. He was the head of
(41:52):
WTP Radio. I went down thereand he says, I can't talk to
you now, in the middle ofa union negotiation. It was like twelve
thirty one o'clock when I got there. I supposed to have a two o'clock
meeting. I told him I'll wait, and he went back in. He
(42:13):
came out around nine o'clock at night, still sitting in the in the in
the vestibule in the waiting room,and he's doing here. I told you
i'd wait. He says, you'reeither the dumbest son of a bitch,
or You're got more tenacity than I'veever seen. And I said, well,
I'm probably on the ladder side,but I'm here. He walked me
(42:36):
into his office at night. Hesays, look, I don't have anything,
but I am going to make acall. He made a call.
I went about a week and ahalf later and I met a guy named
Browning Hookum and Browning was a There'sas Washington as you could get from.
My introduction to Browning was he says, my name is brown and hulkm I
(43:00):
was a captain of the Marines.I was raised a mainline Philadelphia. I
wasn't born with a gold spoon inmy mouth. I was born with a
platinum spoon. Wow. I saidto him, my name is Dan Gasby,
I'm from bed Sty And I gota can opener and he looked at
(43:22):
me and he hired me. AndI ended up going and worked for a
company called Petrie Television. And thenthere's some amazing stories after that where I
became close to the chairman of thepresident of the company because the kid was
stealing and I caught the kid.We chased the kid. One of the
(43:44):
kindest things this guy, Marty Connolly, ever did, took the kid into
the office. The police came,went back and forth, back and forth,
back and forth, and came outthe third time and says everybody would
now had come back from lunch becausethis kid was brafling through through all of
the offices. He says, thepolice, what do you want to do?
(44:05):
He says, I'm hiring him.And I was in the training program,
he says, and he's your responsibility. And he gave me that.
And I became close to him throughhim being Marty Connolly. His best friend
was a guy named Bill Walsh.Bill Walsh was a guy out in San
Francisco. They went to college togetherat Stanford, and I became close to
(44:30):
him. And then he opened theTV station in Memphis, Tennessee, WPTY.
I went down there because there wasthere had never hired a black man
in selling TV advertising at this companyPetrie and I couldn't get a desk.
I went down there and I learnedto sell advertising in Memphis, the boothill
(44:52):
of Missouri, Arkansas. And Ican tell you I sold advertising to some
of the biggest rednecks in the world. And I and and I went through
hell in Mississippi. I mean I, I mean I ended up. I
(45:13):
had a grimlin. My suits costmore than my car. And I would
go into it a beana and oneand used to we used to say one
past, one below, two belowMississippi. And I'd sell advertising, you
know. And I wore a silverbelly with a fort Worth crease, had
a uh uh Moore cowboy boots,kept a two shot over under darrenger in
(45:37):
my justin case. Yeah. AndI would walk into a or or or
a bar. I'd have a JohnDeere cap on, and I learned a
couple of Southern sayings, and Ibecame close to these guys, and they
were you know. I would walkinto a bar at two o'clock in the
afternoon and I'd said like a jackwith a beer back, or I'd have
(46:01):
a shot of rebel yell, andthen I would They would look at me
and I say something like, here'sto the great bald eagle, that wonderful
bird of prey that spreads its wingson northern soil but shits on southern plate.
But oh, here's to the Souththat lands so fertile, plentiful and
rich. Who gives a damn youGod damn bird, you yankee, son
(46:23):
of a bitch, and they wouldlove me and I and then I did
a lot of it. I endedup the guy me there, moved to
Jacksonville, Florida, became the generalmanager, and I became the youngest general
man general sales manager in Jacksonville,Florida in nineteen eighty two eighty three.
(46:45):
And that was the largest city insouthern Georgia. I mean, I used
to call it Biscuitville because the numberone restaurant there was Red Lobster. You
know, it was the only place, you know, it's the only place
where you could go to a Chineserestaurant. There was ketchup on the table.
I don't I dealt with stuff thatmost guys couldn't even imagine dealing with,
(47:08):
you know. Uh, you know, I can tell you other stories,
you know, you know, butyou know it was it was interesting.
I mean I should write a bookabout you know, things like that.
But uh, you know, Imean the time I dated a woman
whose dad was claim that was interesting. So what so so advertising clearly became
(47:35):
your lane and then did at somepoint did that stop and you pivot or
no? I came back. Iworked at a company called pg W.
The guys who were at pg Wwent over to a little company called w
TBS, the superstation you know,you know with Ted Turner, you know
(47:55):
Ted was you know, it wascool before the table was cool, you
know with Ted. And then fromthere I snuck in one day at a
at the post called back then theNAPTI Conventional National Association of Television program Executives,
and I pitched a guy named SteveHirsch at a company, a little
(48:19):
company in nineteen eighty five eighty sixcalled King World. And in nineteen eighty
five eighty six that company was premierin three TV shows, Wheel of Fortune,
Jeopardy, and The Oprah Winfrey Show. So I was one of the
first people to ever sell Oprah.When I was selling it, they were
calling her Oprah and they and theywould they would tell me that a fat
(48:45):
black woman would never make it ontelevision, or that, you know,
because Phil Donnay dominated. Then uh, from there I went in and uh,
well it's I mean, it's Ileft there. I went and helped
(49:06):
the Essence Awards get on the onthe air. Did the deal for the
Essence Award was executive producer own sixtyof the profits, and then I had
had a let's just put it thisway, I wasn't treated completely fairly.
And then I went and created aTV show with a partner of mine called
(49:30):
the Newsweek American Achievement Awards Ordinary Peopledoing Extraordinary things and put on the air
at the Kennedy Center with the firstHispanic to host a national network prime time
special, Jimmy Schmidt and Meredith Baxter. And then from there created a show
(49:57):
with my partner for a Big Breakwith now Cole and we launched the career
of R Kelly and Eric Benney.And then from there I met my wife.
Basically it was a she she hadbeen following what I was doing because
I went there and sold, well, let's put it here this way.
(50:22):
The company I was working for,my boss said to me because I met
this woman who had this restaurant calledb Smith. And my boss came to
me one day and said to me, ah, you have We've given you
an unlimited expense account and you managedto exceed it. And then I said
(50:45):
to him what was my budget?Because I you know, this is back
in the eighties. I mean,I said, what was my budget?
He says it was like six meand I said, I did eleven million
dollars, so you're telling me andit was a lot of money. I
smith, I said, you're talkingabout it. Another eighty thousand dollars is
worth another four million dollars and hetold me to get the hell out of
my office. And then he andwe hit it off, and from there
(51:12):
she wanted to do television. Shewas trying to do it with some other
people, but they didn't know whatthey were doing. And I took her
concept and went and pitched the guywho was the head of Warner Brothers and
he asked me. He said,well, Dan, tell me about the
show. I said, it's food, fashion and fun, how to get
the most out of life in anaffordable way. Dan, tell me what's
(51:36):
the show. I said, it'sone part food, but it's not a
cooking show. It's going to havethings like Tod Bever's and how to make
the most out of life in termsof setting a table and everything, but
it's not a design show. Andthen he said, Dan, what the
fuck is the show? And Isaid, it's Martha Stewart with rhythm.
And that's how my wife got calledMartha Stewart. And we had for in
(52:00):
years, and then we took thatwe I went with her and pitched a
little company in two thousand that hadhad about about one hundred stores, one
hundred and thirty stores, and itwas called Bed, Bathroom Beyond. And
for the next twenty years we werein a thousand doors and then everything then
(52:25):
we put we had a show onSerious, and then we did a second
show, and then she was youknow, she was spokesperson. And then
right when at the pinnacle of everything, things started to go funky, and
I couldn't understand what was going on, and she was coming down with Alzheimer's
(52:46):
and but nobody knew that. SoI'm giving you the thumbnail sketch of what
is you know, and my wifeand I were together for twenty eight years.
For twenty of those years we neverhad any We would never disagreement.
Five five homes, three restaurants,all the other businesses. And she looked
(53:12):
at me and she says, I'mbroken. She says things are going to
you know, she she went tohigh school, she never went to college,
but she had a PhD in Lifeand understanding. And she says,
you do what you gotta do becausethere's going to be a time after I've
read this, I'm not going toknow who I am. And you know,
I went through some major turbulence aboutthat and having another relationship, but
(53:34):
it was totally totally understood, sanctioned, and uh, you know, I'm
in this. I bought this house. I sold the beach house because it
wasn't the right place, and wehad a penthouse apartment and set on a
central box, uh central box South, and I wanted her to feel comfortable.
(53:59):
And we never had kids, sowe had we had five dogs and
those were her babies. And shedied in this house, uh, four
years ago. But all of thisI say is you don't own anything.
Guys. You get a lease,You don't own your body, You don't
(54:22):
own whatever you think you own.How you live while you're going through the
journey, you know, And thatgoes back quite honestly, understanding that fundamentally
goes back to also Jerry Balmith andbeing a philosophy major and understanding the vagaries
(54:45):
of life and understanding that I knowI'm in total control because I have no
real control. Mm hmm. WhatI learned I don't really The control is
between what I am able to acceptand what I'm not you know, mm
(55:05):
hmm. That's that's that's the secretsauce. That's the special thing that you
get. And that was part ofthat was from my college experience. We
share a little bit more about BeforeI Forget and can we get some insight
to that. Before I Forget?It was a book that my wife and
(55:30):
I wrote with a very well knownauthor, Michael Schneerson. It's see what
let me say this if nothing,if nothing comes of anything in my the
rest of my life, I wantto say that there's a twenty first century
(55:54):
civil rights issue that is plaguing theAfrican American community, and it's called mental
health, and it's called positive dissonance, better known as dementia. Sixty all
dementia is Alzheimer's and we are ina tsunami. It's hard to find someone
(56:19):
black who has not had someone intheir immediate family or friend that has not
had some form of dementia. Ifyou're black, at eighty five, one
out of two people will have eitherAlzheimer's or some form of dementia. If
(56:39):
you're white, it's one out ofthree, two out of three people with
dementia or Alzheimer's are women, andwomen make up the vast majority of the
viable income and growth in the blackcommunity. So it's it's sort of like
watching the world go out and notunderstanding it's not the tide going out.
(57:07):
It's the sucking sound of the tsunami, about the pulling everything out and when
it comes come back in twenty thirtywith a vengeance. We are in a
We are in an epic situation rightnow. We dye our hairs too much,
we fry our hair too much.We're too much overweight, We've got
(57:30):
too much belly fat. We don'teat the right things, we don't sleep
enough. We got the stress.You know. I always say that when
a baby is born, a blackbaby is born, they should almost put
a a cigarette warning label on thatbaby because of the pressures and the stresses
(57:51):
of what it is to be blackin America. This is all it's coming
and you know, and I'm nota genius. It's just looking and the
actual Row Tables is looking at thestatistics. It's looking at the read of
obesity, the lack of exercise,putting our hair under those hot dryers and
(58:13):
putting chemicals in our hair. Allof that stuff is contributing to it,
all of it. It's a toxic, toxic still. I'm sorry to go
off on that, but I'm notreally sorry. The apologies needed. That's
why we do after Gate. Ifyou're a business looking to get your brand
in front of a loyal, supportive, successful market, you need to become
(58:37):
a sponsor of Aftergate. Our networkrecognizes the opportunity to work with Cokegate's a
lum of color to leverage the reachof the show to increase awareness and profitability
for your business. Reach out tothe Defile Life podcast network and we will
work with you throughout the entire process. We have special packages to get you
started. Contact us at info atgo to filef dot com. Every week
(59:01):
professionals of color, ranging from politiciansto educators, to judges, to entrepreneurs,
to lawyers, corporate leaders, andeven retirees. After Gate reaches an
a rate of successful bipod listeners.Contact us to learn more about how we
can benefit you. Yeah. So, so now I know that I see
(59:25):
it. You know I've watched it, and you know I and I cry
so much because I know that we'rein a we're we're in a pressure cooker
and what's going on? Uh,demographically, what's going on with this uh,
(59:45):
this monster who's running again for thepresidency. Uh, it's not gonna
bode well. You know, we'rewe're we're in very trying times. It
just amazes me. Mm hmmm mmhmmm if you had to. Uh,
(01:00:08):
first of all, thank you forfor sure for sharing that. And and
I feel like that was even probablyjust a cliff notes version that with more
time and and and definitely would loveto connect one day over a bite over
all and we could sip on andjust wrap and just and just sit and
listen to the to the story.Oh, thank you for sharing. I
(01:00:29):
gave I gave you the cliff notes. But I'm going to tell you this
right now. I'm proud of bothof you. I'm proud of you.
Know. To know that that catslike you, uh coming up behind me,
uh from a place that we allhad a similar experience does my heart
(01:00:51):
good. And that you guys arenot just paying it forward, You're laying
You're laying down pavement so that othersafter you will have a road map.
That's important. I'm proud to bea part of this. I'm proud that
you allowed me to just uh,free wheel it stream whatever you want to
(01:01:13):
call it, the consciousness. Butremember, at the end of the day,
don't sugarcoat anything. Mm hm youwalking away with gems are there.
We appreciate the acknowledgment, but wealso liked to you know, especially for
the individuals that were there before us. And we know literally we are standing
(01:01:38):
on your shoulders because what you endured, what the people you mentored, the
the blocks that were built on thatcampus. We benefited from the lessons that
you shared with individuals that were therewhile you were there, who they then
shared with individuals who came and theneventually get passed down to us. That's
(01:02:01):
the beauty of this podcast is we'reable to connect the through line between the
seventies, the early eighties, andthen ultimately when we get on campus and
then pass it on to brothers andsisters that come on after us. So
while we greatly appreciate your sentiments andtrust me, it is that type of
comments that is the fuel for usto continue to keep going, we also
(01:02:25):
want to just say we sure enoughappreciate you and you are exactly the reasons
why we do this podcast because peopleneed to know your story. I'm honored,
humble, and more importantly thankful mybrother. With that being said,
(01:02:47):
in full circle mode, here,if you had a chance to speak to
a young brother Gaspi coming out ofBrooklyn Tech in seventy two, going into
college, going into Kogate, whatmight be your words of wisdom you might
share with him? And then fastforward that four more years. Now you're
(01:03:07):
leaving Kogate, you're going into theworld. What might be your advice you
give to yourself back in seventy six. You know, look at life like
a Chinese menu. Take what aliberal arts education is supposed to do.
Take a little bit from everything andput it in a savor it, taste
(01:03:28):
it some of it. You're noton a life, but at least you
know what it is. And thenwhen you finally go through everything, realize
you're you know, in the truestsense of existentialism, you are always becoming.
(01:03:50):
You became, you were done.And as my father once told me,
and I'll never forget this, hesaid, boy, just remember most
things in life is like peeing ina dark suit. It's a warm feeling,
but nobody really wants to know aboutit. And eventually it's going to
(01:04:10):
be in you cold, so enjoythe go It is because we wrap up
the last part of the show isessentially an opportunity for you to plug a
initiative, a website, a cause, your book how they might be able
(01:04:31):
to access it. But we reallywant our listeners to be aware of things
that are important to our guests.And because as you talked about why we
need to support our own this iswhat this show is all about, an
opportunity for our listeners to support you. What would you like to plug.
I'll keep it real simple. Ithink if you can get and listen to
(01:04:59):
if you don't buy the book,and it's very inexpensive to get the audio
version of the book and listen tomy wife, her voice was like watching
Champagne uncorked. And it was thelast thing. It was the last thing
she did, and she struggles andshe finished the book. But I think
(01:05:20):
that it's important, and there's somuch science in this book about Alzheimer's and
about what we're faced with and goingto continue to be faced with as we
move forward. Get the audio orthe book before I forget, because somebody
(01:05:40):
is going to need to be awareof what's coming in family or in your
neighborhood or yourself. You know,I have a dear friend. Dwayne Reid
used to say, you know thatwhole thing, you know with the United
neggor us from mont You know,it's a terrible thing, you know,
(01:06:04):
to waste the mind. Well,Colary to that is the mind you say,
might be yourself. Mm hmm mmhmmm, my man. Yeah,
reflect on that, listeners, reflecton that for a second, with any
(01:06:24):
any final words before we get outof here. Yeah, real simple,
blessed both of you. That's it. Thank you, sir, thank you,
thank you do it, thank you, Thank you. Brother Gast Me
definitely want to acknowledge that we havea lot in common. Both from Brooklyn,
both stand up dudes, both entrepreneurs, both see things black and white,
(01:06:45):
and of course both named alban Ithas been a pleasure, believe we
will, so let me take usout then, officially, this has been
another episode of after Gate Season four. Oh get it right, Get it
right, Thanks to our guests,Thanks to our listeners. After Gate is
always powered by the DeFi Life Network. Make sure you check us out in
(01:07:06):
the future on all of your favoritepodcast streaming platforms. Many more dope episodes
to follow. Remember do the bestyou can, and all the ways you
can, for all the people youcan, for as long as you can.
And the coke eat of your dayis not the codat of today,
and it's certainly not the codate ofthe future. Peace family. You hear
(01:07:29):
that, listen closer, that myfriend is definitely sud of focus. It
drowns out all the useless noise thatcan clutter. The only nay sayers don't
exist. Haters, smaters, thepeanut gallery. Who's that? When you're
in your zone, all that noiseand all that buzz is just elevator music.
(01:07:49):
So enjoy your journey, focus onyour goal, and bask in the
quiet role that it is progressed.Because when it's your time to shoot that
shot, spit that verse, areclose that deal. The only voice that
matters is yours. The fire life
The following podcast is being brought toyou by the Defile Life podcast Network.
Welcome to Aftergate, powered by theDefile Life Network. Are you all Ready?
Aftergate is a podcast series highlighting Colgatealumni of color in their professional endeavors.
(00:23):
Aftergate. Are You all Ready?Aftergate? Is hosted by Alvin Glymph
aka al and Herman Dubois aka AJerry? Are you all ready? We
are doing Aftergate because Colgate University hasproduced innovators who have changed the world every
day, Yet many alumni of colorand the mainstream Colgate community are unaware of
the amazing accomplishments of alums of color? Are you all ready? Welcome?
(00:53):
Welcome, Welcome. This is yourboy, Alvin Glymph, co host of
this podcast after Gate, and youknow after Gate is that weekly podcast where
we are focused solely on interviewing,amplifying, documenting the stories of Colgate's alumni
of color. And it has beenhonestly an amazing journey because so far we
(01:21):
are batting one hundred percent in termsof the fascinating stories, empowering stories from
the innovators that have graced Colgates campus, some of the best that have ever
fross the stage have been on ourpodcast four seasons deep eighty plus episodes.
(01:42):
Check our resume boo. But asyou know, before I get too far
into the banter, let me makesure I bring my co host and mister
headmind Dupois aka Jerry. What's upmy brother? How you doing, brother
Glenn Fall as well as well,Uh, good to see you again.
Off of reunion weekend and being upin Hamilton and connecting with you and then
(02:08):
and a bunch of brothers always alwayspositive. Came back with a sense of
gratitude for the opportunity again and sawsome folks that you know, don't know
if we're gonna see again, youknow. Uh so uh but and flowers
were delivered, so it was.It was a good weekend, uh,
and excited about this next chapter ofAftergate. Yeah, no doubt, man.
(02:30):
Very powerful weekend. You know.The idea that we were able to
one be part of just the gatheringof so many alumni of color, but
also be part of the celebrating thefiftieth anniversary of UNI DA as well as
(02:51):
the UMF union minority folk was justpowerful and uh, you know, just
playing a role in that is awesome. And the fact that Aftergate got a
lot of love, continues to geta lot of love from our alumni of
color as well as you know,Kogate in general is just awesome. And
so you know, we don't keepdoing our thing and being part of this
(03:15):
movement, trying to make sure thatwe are claiming are part of this Kogate
story. And let's not forget alsothe fiftieth anniversary of the first class of
graduating women, So we had acouple of sisters up there that you know,
this is when you know, youknow that that God is good,
right, because I can't Kogate wastough enough. I can't think of going
(03:35):
through Kogate without no sisters on campus. And although I didn't have the luxury
to know that many of my myhomies found their wives, found their sole
partner at Kogate, yes I did, Yes, I did. You know
the two of the two out ofthe three in this picture behind me,
you know that met their partners andand happy, beautiful families with those sisters.
(03:57):
And so that that's the untold story, the Koge love story. Shout
out to another Koge couple that you'rereferencing to, Williams Steve and Danielle Williams
shout out yes, yes, yes, you indeed, it was awesome to
be in the presence of those trailblazers, the first class of women who went
through four years of Colgate, andso to be honest, they had a
(04:20):
direct impact influence on the guests wehad tonight and the fact that we have
this individual as a guest. So, without further ado, can I get
your blessing to bring this week's guestto the studio and the congregation says amen,
let's roll, oh man, myman, Colgate after Gate listeners aoc
(04:46):
in the building. I'd like yourblessing to bring the one, the only
into the studio. Mister Dan Gaspy, class of nineteen seventy six, Welcome
to Aftigate, my brother, sodelighted to be here to see what you
(05:20):
young cats that followed me and allof our other friends and a lumpie doing
something to memorialize what we all hadthe unique experience of enduring, enjoying,
and surviving the lovely Shangle Valley.Yes, sure, sir. So you
(05:46):
know we always like to share alittle context of how we know this guest.
Is this a guest that we crosspaths with? It's a guest we
have interacted with in this particular instance, coming out of this past alumni reunion,
one of the sisters who were partof that additional class of Kogate in
hearing about what our show was allabout. Not only did she agree to
(06:11):
be on this show, but I'mgonna leave her nameless because I want her
to sign up first. Not onlydoes she I'm gonna get on, but
she said, you need to makesure you get Dan Gaspy on as a
guest because his story is fascinating.And So when I reached out to this
brother yesterday yesterday like we got homeSunday, I called one day the next
(06:38):
day, we are doing this podcast. So I just appreciate his willingness to
jump on. Well, you know, I believe in the word now no
opportunity wasted. Yeah, as youknow, with the fiftieth anniversary of the
first class of women to graduate andwhat the ALC has been and does and
(07:01):
in a remarkable way remind us thattime waits for no one. And when
you approached me, Alvin, Iwanted to, you know, to jump
in, to to lean on,lean in and just whatever I can add
to the remarkable stories that you've you'veacquired and and and cataloged. I'm just
(07:28):
happy to be a part and seethe people before me, like you,
two guys doing things that were memorializewhat made our I guess, our ability
to uh move through the gate memorable? Okay, okay, So let's start
off thinking and talking about life beforeKocae. So first, where are you
(07:54):
from? Originally it's born in Bedsty. I was born, you know,
uh on a place on a streetcalled Pacific Street between Brooklyn and Kingston Avenue.
Back in the day, I usedto call Kingston and in Pacific Street
on the corner do Bad Avenue becauseif you were standing on the corner,
you were looking to do bad.So for my listeners, you know,
(08:20):
as I show love to Brooklyn,you might remember I was born on Kingston
Avenue, So we do have aconnection there because I am also from Brooklyn
and born on Kingston. And notonly that, but where you were born
and initially raised was literally across thestreet from my first public school, PS
two time on Kingston Saint Mark's.Yes, my brothers attended that school.
(08:45):
I left Kingston at the age offour, so I did not, but
I know exactly what you're talking about. You know exactly what you're talking about.
So the circle is definitely complete,my brother. So take us back
to what you remember that time then, So in the sixties, what do
you remember about your life? Whatdo you remember about New York, Brooklyn,
(09:07):
the world? Give us a paintpicture so we know what's the context.
As you're entering Covid Well and you'retalking in class of seventy two.
Presumer Right High School was class ofseventy two. Yeah. Yeah, I
went to Brooklyn pat you know,and actually I left in my junior year,
but I scored very well on theSATs. And a guy named al
Van State Senative had the African AmericanTeachers Association, and so young blacks could
(09:35):
go and to the Teachers Association officebecause they were trying to get more young
black women and men into colleges.And they had every book imaginable college book
from Abilene Christian to you know,to young Town, Youngstown State. And
(09:58):
I went in there and I reallyread every book. And one of the
things I noticed about Colgate and otherschools was that you needed to have,
you know, requirements, but notnecessarily degrees from high school and coming that
I had already had four years ofmath. I had had three years of
(10:18):
social studies. And someone said tome, applied and Alvan was there.
I applied there. I applied toCornell, I applied to Stanford, I
applied to Williams. I applied toIce, you know, and I applied
to Vassa. And one of thethings that I learned early on from my
(10:39):
father's he says, always get insomeone's space. Now, don't just be
a piece of paper. But youcan tell yourself if they can look at
you, and you can look atthem, and you can read the tea
leaves or read the person, thehuman being in front of you. That
went to like five different interviews.And I went to Kogate and I'll never
(11:05):
forget I met an interesting man.And this is a strange story, but
it's true. I met guy V. Martin, who was one of the
professors there, and he was soengaging in religion, and you know,
he was the dean, and Ijust thought it was cool to be talking
(11:28):
to Dean Martin. I went toCornell and I coming out of Tech there
were six thousand guys and the largestclass back then was I think probably eighty
or ninety students at the Gate,and I just the campus was beautiful,
(11:54):
went out a bad style. Imean, you didn't have that kind of
setting. I mean really it waslike it was like being in a you
know, being in a cemetery,but everybody was still alive. That's how
pretty it was and how manicure itwas. You know. I fell in
love with wanting to go someplace different, not being and and you know,
(12:18):
a large university. And that's that'swhat was the major reason I ended up
going to Colgate. Wow, where'syour family from? Originally like, yeah,
where are they from? My mymy father's family goes back seventeen fifty
four in a little town called Gloucester, right next to Jamestown. Wow,
(12:43):
and others, you know, andmy mother's family was from North Carolina as
we say, North Cakilaki, NorthCakilaki, North Cailak. And so you
know, he was a brilliant guy. He was a beautiful man. He
got he never went to college,but he graduated twice from high school.
(13:03):
He was also you know, healso had a had a number route,
so he was he knew how tomove with the people. You know,
he he knew you know, heknew how to to work within different let's
call it environments, and those thingsserved me well while I was at the
(13:24):
Gate. Okay, okay, okay. So Brooklyn Tech is, for those
who don't know, a very rigorousacademic school. What was the academic transition
like as you get there? Actuallythe academic and I apologize, but with
doing this live, those are myI have three Italian masters, Connie Crosso
(13:46):
and that's uh, that's Zeus,and I have Biggie named after Biggie Small,
and then I have right now,it's the Mommy Sonson named after the
game of Throne sans to Star.It was rigorous, you know, even
the dumb kids were smart at Tech. I mean you know, at that
(14:13):
time it was the second largest auditoriumin New York City next to Radio City,
was like five thousand. And whenyou took a test, you took
the test for either Tech or science, bront science or cyber specialized schools.
They would basically say, look tothe left of you, look to the
right of you. Two of youwon't be here at graduation. So I
(14:37):
understood how to compete. You neverafraid of competition. I welcomed competition,
and even today I never you know, I would rather run into the fire
that didn't watch it burn. SoI felt very good about going to the
Gate. And the thing about thatwas in Brooklyn Tech even that they were
(15:00):
very people have kids. So whenyou go to Colgate at that time,
I think there was like one hundredstudents on campus, like twenty five hundred
in total. I mean, andthey're from all over and you know,
when you're from Brooklyn, basically theworld is Brooklyn, you know, I
mean, Brownsville was almost another country, you know, much less from,
(15:24):
or if you were dating a girl, you go to a geographically undesired area
like you know, right, youknow, like like like like you know,
or Hollis or one of those,one of those communities. So it
was, you know, it wasa challenge. And it's cold, you
know. The saying when I wasat Colgate was there was only two temperatures
(15:48):
in the winter time. It wasabsolute zero and meat locker. You know,
I remember and uh not Stilman,but uh uh who I can see
it right now, uh across fromacross from Andrews and Stillman. We would
open the windows up and jump outthe windows into the oat drifts, you
(16:14):
know, I mean, I haveto tell you a funny story. Yeah,
I was at Case. I wasI did it all night at one
time at Case, and uh Ilooked out over over the uh the quadrangle
and everything, and I saw thisguy coming coming towards us, my first
(16:34):
all nighter in the library. Andthe snow was up to his neck.
And I had never seen that before. And I said, oh my god,
I think I'm gonna die. WhatI what I didn't know was that
he was actually a small person,you know, he was like a midget.
(16:56):
And Brian is a and the snowand it freaked me out, you
know. Uh and and I startedlaughing, and uh, it was.
It was one of those things thatany ever been one to cold gate,
No, well, it snows,it snows, and oh it's so cold
(17:21):
it stops. You know. Peopledon't realize that you need a certain temperature.
That was the first time I sawa guy with snow up to his
neck. Equation. Wow. Doyou remember the dorms you lived in?
Like, where where'd you stay?Any any memory of that? Andrews I
lived in, uh oh h,the East Hall. I lived in East
(17:45):
Hall. I lived in Andrews andI lived down and was it Newkirk.
Uh No, the the apartments,Yeah, no, that was down there.
No. The the thing is itwas it was always it was always
beautiful. It was always beautiful.You are coming in right after some major
(18:11):
campus activism, right, I mean, if I remember correctly, nineteen sixty
nine is a pivotal year in termsof like a protest and them taking over
a building. So I'm just curious, what do you remember about that time
in terms of the the climate ofthe campus. Well, well, the
(18:32):
climate was people were engaged and proudof who they were, and they you
know, hey, look you're inan environment where, you know, from
downtown Hamilton to Norwich to Birmington tobeing was to Binghamton, I mean there
(18:57):
basically were no black people, youknow, I mean, I mean,
I mean you you know, thatwas like sixty miles seventy miles, you
know, and what do we usedto say? There was there was one
street light called the and then therewas the bank was called the Bank,
you know, and it was aninteresting time. It was very interesting.
(19:22):
But the brothers there were very,very dedicated about self identification and being proud
of who and what we are andwhat we wanted to project. Yeah,
You mentioned a little bit about thetransition academically, but and sort of how
you felt prepared for it based onwhat Brooklyn Tech have prepared you for.
(19:45):
But what about it socially? Whatabout it culturally? Yes, you found
your posse, so to speak,but what was it like dealing with the
mainstream population? I go Gate,but you know what I have to tell
you, I didn't have as muchas a problem because I went to UH.
I went to a school called HouddieJunior High School. I was bussed
(20:10):
to PS two sixty sixty nine fromto eighty nine to sixty nine on Newkirk
and uh Lotion Avenue. And Iwas in what back then they used to
have all of these designations IGC,which was intellectually gifted and then see and
I was the only black kid inIGC, and I was the only black
(20:32):
kid in the SP classes. Itwas fine. I'm primarily Jewish. I
was. I was surrounded by youknow, you know, in a class
of thirty, probably twenty five kidswere Jewish, and then there'd be one
or two Italian kids and one ortwo Irish kids, and and then and
then me, you know, souh, I I never I could I
(20:56):
competed, you know, and soI never felt uh, I never felt
out of sorts. I just didn'thave the same resources that they did.
But it gave me a good insighton coming to Kogate because I wasn't intimidated.
What'd you end up majoring in philosophyand religion? Oh? Yes,
(21:19):
sure, yes, sir? Wasthat was that by default? Behind that?
Can you how you ended up there? Uh? No, it was
you know, I met Jerry Balmouthshout out to Professor Bama, and he
was he was amazing. You know. He wanted me to go to Duke
(21:40):
Divinity School. I mean, hesays, you know, he says,
gas me, I'll walk into doyou know you understand you understand how to
look at uh situations from both perspectivesand then be able to articulate them and
do them equally well. So yeah, doctor Baumouth was was a very big
influence on my life. And Istill at times refer you know to what
(22:03):
when he when, I'll never forget, you know, when you think about
Descartes, I think therefore I am. I realized being in the moment is
the most important thing, you know, And uh, he gave me a
whole appreciation what existence is and thewhole notion that you know, understanding experience
(22:25):
and that basically, you know,the whole world screwed up. But it's
the only game in town. Soplay it win, don't you know,
don't don't should have all over yourself. I should have did this, I
should have done that act result ofof Jerry B. Jerry B. That's
(22:45):
dope. Uh. Any extracurricular activitieswhile you on campus, any organizations,
you know. I was on thefootball team for a while, and but
I you know what, I lovelife. Let me just put it to
you that way. I loved life, and I would travel a lot,
(23:06):
you know, but I always Ialways felt good about being at Colgate because
it was a special place with aspecial place, and and it helped me.
I'll tell you, I've met somany interesting people who have gone on
from Colgate that I'd run into,you know, like Chase Carrie. I
(23:30):
mean, I was in television andI'd run into Chase, you know,
I was, you know, itgave me a unique experience about dealing with
people at another level. You know, when you look at your time at
Kolgate, what would you reference asyour accomplishments Oh wow, that's a good
(23:52):
question. Understanding that, well,you know what, I'll tell you something
very interesting, understanding as I gotolder that being in an all white environment
can be positive and that you canfigure out that these guys are not any
(24:15):
different than you. They just havecertain advantages that you never had. Don't
get angry. Think before you feel. I learned that biggest thing I learned
out of Colgate is don't get caughtinto the trap of feeling insecure and don't
allow yourself to to to slash slashout with anger. I think before you
(24:45):
feel. I don't know if I'veever heard that phrase. Yeah, I
think if I could take one thingthat if I had to epitomize my experience
at Colgate was to think before youfeel. Because I met a lot of
you know, hey, there wasprejudice up there, don't get me wrong,
(25:07):
and there was attitude up there.But I learned and a lot of
that goes back to being a philosophymajor. Being you know, one of
the things I used to do andI still do to this day, if
I walk into a meeting or aroom, I will position myself and look
(25:29):
at everything and look at everybody andthen try to imagine me looking at everyone
from another position than where I am. So I'm watching what's being said to
each other in the room other thanme and to me from a secondary position,
(25:49):
And so I'm trying to imagine whattheir body language, what their attitude,
how they're fidgeting, how what they'rewriting, how they come back at
me, not necessarily from where Isaid, but from another point watching me
react to watching them. Wow.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
(26:14):
yeah. That's deep right there.And we're gonna like Yoda just a little
bigger and darker. Okay, justa little bigger. When when when you
think of your overall four year experience, you know, are there any uh
you know, sort of highlights orwhat you consider your victories by any standard
(26:34):
over the four years, and whenyou reflect, uh most importantly appreciating being
in a different, unnatural environment forme, h Hamilton, New York,
in the middle of farm country.Uh, you know, not understanding that
(27:00):
look doesn't come out of a outof a carton, but out of a
cow. Then that people who Inever ever would have expected had prejudice against
me, but also surprisingly also hasempathy for me. It opened me up.
I mean, it's one thing tobe in New York or be in
(27:22):
Brooklyn, you know, and dealwith people, whatever their ethnicity or whatever
their neighborhood. But when you're inHamilton and you've got to move around between
Norwich and Binghamton and going over toHamilton College and Utica Syracuse, that's another
(27:44):
world and you better be attuned tounderstanding and trying to decipher how those people
lived. So I was a sponge. I was. It's funny because that
that never gets old because I justdrove on Sunday from Hamilton to Syracuse Airport
(28:07):
and going and coming. I'm lookingaround, like, how in the hell
yeah end up? Even even thirtyfive years later, I'm still like,
how in the hell did I endup? Help here? Hey? You
could be that could be Idaho?Right, yeah, right, right,
right right? I mean so,but you learn you have any sense of
(28:36):
inquisitiveness and uh, the ability tosay I'm going to make the most out
of whatever I'm giving you, itsharpens you, you know. And if
you I can look you guys inthe eye and tell you I'm a very
(28:57):
confident person. That doesn't mean Iknow it all, but I'm not afraid
to fail. And if I messup, I fess up. You won't
meet a better guy to be ina fox hole with than me. You
(29:18):
won't find a better guy If Isay I got you, The only way
I don't is because someone got mebefore I could get to help you.
But and what do you say yourmiddle name was? Again runs with Theodore
and Simon Alvin, No wonder,Oh you got to have that? I
(29:45):
mean some of us are born withit. Some of us is honed by
being tempered through life. I don'tknow if I was born with it,
but I certainly was tempered and thatprocess was going into a totally different environment.
I mean, I've lived in Memphis, I've lived in Jacksonville, I've
(30:08):
lived in Atlanta, in Chicago,I spend my summers in South America.
Uh, I don't I enjoy notknowing any thing or anyone and figuring out
how to make it happen. Ido want to ask one question about the
(30:29):
Cultural Center, because that too wasearly in its formation. When you get
on campus, what is that like? And were you did you go there
a lot? What do you rememberabout the Culture Center? Oh? Well,
you know what? I remember SamJohnson. I remember she was like
she was a sister from another mother, Amani. I remember it was a
(30:55):
place where we could go and itwas an oasis. It was an over
You know, what most people don'tunderstand about us is that we're always trivialized,
or we're always as I or kmartit back in the day. We're
always discounted. And there where wecan go and talk shit and be able
(31:22):
to joke with each other, butto let our hair down and not feel
that we're being judged. It was. It was an oasis. It was
it was more than worthwhile. Allright. So we'll take a pause right
there so we can show some loveto our sponsor and come back and finish
up the second half of this conversationwith the Good Brother Dan Gaspie, class
(31:45):
of nineteen seventy six. So thisepisode is sponsored by Hope Murals. Hope
Murals is a nonprofit that provides adolescentyouth with an interactive experience of creative expression
via an urban arts platform that stimulatesboth mental and physical development. Please visit
(32:07):
that website at www dot murals dotorg to learn more and find ways you
can support the work they do.Welcome back, We are back here the
second half of this show. Weare interviewing the amazing Dan Gaspi class of
(32:30):
nineteen seventy six, looking forward tohearing what his life has been like after
Gate. But before we jump in, we always like to thank our sponsor,
Hope Murals, because we are soappreciative of all they're doing to expose
our youth to urban arts. Basedout of southern Florida, but they're doing
work throughout the country. Make sureyou get on their website, Hopemurals dot
(32:51):
org to learn more about all they'redoing to expose our kids to the arts
as well as helping them with theirdevelopment to be better people social media at
Hope Euros. Also make sure youshow some love to the network the the
fire Life Network go to fire LifeCo. And they also have a podcast
(33:12):
hub where you can find aftigating otherpodcasts at defilifepods dot com. Just a
reminder, our show is on allof your major podcast streaming services from Apple
Pods to Spreaker, the Spotify toour Heart. Make sure you like a
subscribe so that you'll get an alertwhen we drop the next episode on Saturdays
(33:32):
at thirteen hundred hours. And asalways, we always want to make sure
we show some love to the alumswho have graced us as guests. Got
to shout them out because without them, and they're great stories, we would
not have a show. So bigup to them. Now, let's jump
back into the second half of thisshow, brother Gasby, before we get
into what your life has been likesince Colgate. Would love to get your
(33:57):
thoughts on this particular issue I am. I'm a owner of a business,
so I am a black business owner. And one of the things that I
love to hear people's perspective on,particularly those who are supporters of black businesses,
to hear their why, because Ithink it is extremely important that people
(34:19):
are intentional and wanted to get yourthoughts on why it's important to support black
businesses. Well, the most importantthing my wife and I we had three
restaurants, a TV show, amagazine, we had licensing business for twenty
years. Well we did over abillion dollars in sales, and you know,
(34:45):
the most important thing is that blackpeople need to support us. And
it's still one of the bugger bootsthat I've seen where a lot of people
don't want to or they put blackpeople when it's a black person in situations
(35:06):
make them work extra hard for thesame dollar that they won't do non black
businesses. It's a it's an uglyreality, and I don't I don't believe
in masking or or or you know, washing over those types of situations.
You know, I've supported, youknow, movies by artists that I didn't
(35:30):
necessarily enjoy, but I would goand at least look at because I knew
how important it was to get tothe next level. I mean, if
you look at someone, I'll giveyou a perfect if you look at someone
like Spike Lee. He put alot of people in the business and all
(35:52):
the time. You know, Ididn't like every movie. I love some,
some were okay, but I understoodwhat Spike was trying to do.
He was trying to further extend theopportunities for people who look like us.
Because it is easy, you know, everything is in life is simple,
(36:16):
but it's not easy. You know, work hard, get ahead. Yeah,
the process is what kills most people, or most people don't get the
opportunity because they don't get the funding, or they don't get the critical mass,
or they get hyper criticized where someoneelse doesn't. I've seen it in
the restaurant business, where you know, people who were blocked coming into a
(36:40):
restaurant, were super critical, andthen they go to another restaurant and they
were super forgiving. And it's stillin this day and age, in twenty
twenty four, still a situation wherewe make us work hard harder for for
(37:00):
a dollar, then we do someother people. No, that's no.
Let me tell you something. Youknow, it's it's true, it's it's
it's it's the ugly underbelly of whoand what we do to each other.
(37:22):
Mm hmmm. I'll be interested inin in getting your philosophical perspective. And
I know we don't normally do thisin double little deeper, but where where
does that? Where do you thinkthat comes from? It's it's why is
it that you feel there's a reluctanceto support in our ventures self hatred?
(37:42):
It's internalized. It's part of thecolonization of our our minds over the course
of four hundred years, over thecourse of the you know color is you
know color and education and and whoare you? It's still persistent today.
(38:07):
M m hm. And we don'twant to talk about it. I mean
we don't, you know, thereare things we don't want to talk about.
And mental health. But we alsodon't want to talk about how,
you know, how difficult it isbeing a person of color or being a
black person dealing with your own people. Mm hmmmm. Yes, you know
(38:30):
you're right, and and and peopleyou know, they don't want to say
that to the larger society or toyou know, to the general population,
but you know it's it's health,it's help, you know, because in
reality, the simple calculus, inreal, in reality, in life is
(38:52):
that people only do throw things foryou. They either kill for you or
they kill you. Mm hmm.It's a binary situation. And anybody tells
you it's not it's not gray.It's binary. I'm either gonna overlook or
try to make or give you everyopportunity, or I'm gonna be hypercritical or
(39:15):
critical and take you out, evenunwittingly. Mhm. And we and we
do it better than anyone else toeach other. And that comes from damn
near seventy years of observation looking atme, looking at the social inters of
(39:38):
who and what we are. Definitelysome depth there, and would love to
explore that that subject further. Buthey, you know, I'm telling the
truth, no doubt. That's whyit was a mic drop and left the
room and the show could have endedthere, but there's still so much of
(39:59):
the story. So walk us through. Now you graduate seventy six, you
know, were you like many ofus who had sort of no idea what
we were doing next, We werejust happy to survive Kogate in Hamilton?
Or did you have a strategy andwalk us through you exit Kogate and through
the decades, the highs and thelows of what you want to share personally
professionally to what you're doing today.I'll give you the I'll give you this
(40:22):
this sixty second I left, Iwent to work at Saint Vincent's Boys' homes.
I saw what was going on atSaint Vincent's boys home with the priests,
and I was very upset with whatwas going on. I actually took
(40:43):
a basketball and hit somebody, hita priest because I didn't like what he
was doing. And I don't haveany problems about saying that because it was
forty years you know. Then Iwent and I got a job working in
the garment business, the Schmier business. And because I grew up and going
(41:05):
to Hodey and being around the people, well, a lot of people who
were Jewish. I understood Yiddish andstuff like that, and I did.
I did well. But a womansaid to me one day, she says,
Dan, you shouldn't be schlepping thein the garment district. I'm going
to introduce you to somebody, andyou should be in television, selling advertising
(41:30):
and long story short, it isa grass a great story. I met
a guy. He told me heonly had fifteen minutes to talk. I
ended up talking to him for twoand a half hours, and he said,
I don't have a job for you, but I'm going to sing it
to a guy down in Washington namedBarren McDaniels. He was the head of
(41:52):
WTP Radio. I went down thereand he says, I can't talk to
you now, in the middle ofa union negotiation. It was like twelve
thirty one o'clock when I got there. I supposed to have a two o'clock
meeting. I told him I'll wait, and he went back in. He
(42:13):
came out around nine o'clock at night, still sitting in the in the in
the vestibule in the waiting room,and he's doing here. I told you
i'd wait. He says, you'reeither the dumbest son of a bitch,
or You're got more tenacity than I'veever seen. And I said, well,
I'm probably on the ladder side,but I'm here. He walked me
(42:36):
into his office at night. Hesays, look, I don't have anything,
but I am going to make acall. He made a call.
I went about a week and ahalf later and I met a guy named
Browning Hookum and Browning was a There'sas Washington as you could get from.
My introduction to Browning was he says, my name is brown and hulkm I
(43:00):
was a captain of the Marines.I was raised a mainline Philadelphia. I
wasn't born with a gold spoon inmy mouth. I was born with a
platinum spoon. Wow. I saidto him, my name is Dan Gasby,
I'm from bed Sty And I gota can opener and he looked at
(43:22):
me and he hired me. AndI ended up going and worked for a
company called Petrie Television. And thenthere's some amazing stories after that where I
became close to the chairman of thepresident of the company because the kid was
stealing and I caught the kid.We chased the kid. One of the
(43:44):
kindest things this guy, Marty Connolly, ever did, took the kid into
the office. The police came,went back and forth, back and forth,
back and forth, and came outthe third time and says everybody would
now had come back from lunch becausethis kid was brafling through through all of
the offices. He says, thepolice, what do you want to do?
(44:05):
He says, I'm hiring him.And I was in the training program,
he says, and he's your responsibility. And he gave me that.
And I became close to him throughhim being Marty Connolly. His best friend
was a guy named Bill Walsh.Bill Walsh was a guy out in San
Francisco. They went to college togetherat Stanford, and I became close to
(44:30):
him. And then he opened theTV station in Memphis, Tennessee, WPTY.
I went down there because there wasthere had never hired a black man
in selling TV advertising at this companyPetrie and I couldn't get a desk.
I went down there and I learnedto sell advertising in Memphis, the boothill
(44:52):
of Missouri, Arkansas. And Ican tell you I sold advertising to some
of the biggest rednecks in the world. And I and and I went through
hell in Mississippi. I mean I, I mean I ended up. I
(45:13):
had a grimlin. My suits costmore than my car. And I would
go into it a beana and oneand used to we used to say one
past, one below, two belowMississippi. And I'd sell advertising, you
know. And I wore a silverbelly with a fort Worth crease, had
a uh uh Moore cowboy boots,kept a two shot over under darrenger in
(45:37):
my justin case. Yeah. AndI would walk into a or or or
a bar. I'd have a JohnDeere cap on, and I learned a
couple of Southern sayings, and Ibecame close to these guys, and they
were you know. I would walkinto a bar at two o'clock in the
afternoon and I'd said like a jackwith a beer back, or I'd have
(46:01):
a shot of rebel yell, andthen I would They would look at me
and I say something like, here'sto the great bald eagle, that wonderful
bird of prey that spreads its wingson northern soil but shits on southern plate.
But oh, here's to the Souththat lands so fertile, plentiful and
rich. Who gives a damn youGod damn bird, you yankee, son
(46:23):
of a bitch, and they wouldlove me and I and then I did
a lot of it. I endedup the guy me there, moved to
Jacksonville, Florida, became the generalmanager, and I became the youngest general
man general sales manager in Jacksonville,Florida in nineteen eighty two eighty three.
(46:45):
And that was the largest city insouthern Georgia. I mean, I used
to call it Biscuitville because the numberone restaurant there was Red Lobster. You
know, it was the only place, you know, it's the only place
where you could go to a Chineserestaurant. There was ketchup on the table.
I don't I dealt with stuff thatmost guys couldn't even imagine dealing with,
(47:08):
you know. Uh, you know, I can tell you other stories,
you know, you know, butyou know it was it was interesting.
I mean I should write a bookabout you know, things like that.
But uh, you know, Imean the time I dated a woman
whose dad was claim that was interesting. So what so so advertising clearly became
(47:35):
your lane and then did at somepoint did that stop and you pivot or
no? I came back. Iworked at a company called pg W.
The guys who were at pg Wwent over to a little company called w
TBS, the superstation you know,you know with Ted Turner, you know
(47:55):
Ted was you know, it wascool before the table was cool, you
know with Ted. And then fromthere I snuck in one day at a
at the post called back then theNAPTI Conventional National Association of Television program Executives,
and I pitched a guy named SteveHirsch at a company, a little
(48:19):
company in nineteen eighty five eighty sixcalled King World. And in nineteen eighty
five eighty six that company was premierin three TV shows, Wheel of Fortune,
Jeopardy, and The Oprah Winfrey Show. So I was one of the
first people to ever sell Oprah.When I was selling it, they were
calling her Oprah and they and theywould they would tell me that a fat
(48:45):
black woman would never make it ontelevision, or that, you know,
because Phil Donnay dominated. Then uh, from there I went in and uh,
well it's I mean, it's Ileft there. I went and helped
(49:06):
the Essence Awards get on the onthe air. Did the deal for the
Essence Award was executive producer own sixtyof the profits, and then I had
had a let's just put it thisway, I wasn't treated completely fairly.
And then I went and created aTV show with a partner of mine called
(49:30):
the Newsweek American Achievement Awards Ordinary Peopledoing Extraordinary things and put on the air
at the Kennedy Center with the firstHispanic to host a national network prime time
special, Jimmy Schmidt and Meredith Baxter. And then from there created a show
(49:57):
with my partner for a Big Breakwith now Cole and we launched the career
of R Kelly and Eric Benney.And then from there I met my wife.
Basically it was a she she hadbeen following what I was doing because
I went there and sold, well, let's put it here this way.
(50:22):
The company I was working for,my boss said to me because I met
this woman who had this restaurant calledb Smith. And my boss came to
me one day and said to me, ah, you have We've given you
an unlimited expense account and you managedto exceed it. And then I said
(50:45):
to him what was my budget?Because I you know, this is back
in the eighties. I mean,I said, what was my budget?
He says it was like six meand I said, I did eleven million
dollars, so you're telling me andit was a lot of money. I
smith, I said, you're talkingabout it. Another eighty thousand dollars is
worth another four million dollars and hetold me to get the hell out of
my office. And then he andwe hit it off, and from there
(51:12):
she wanted to do television. Shewas trying to do it with some other
people, but they didn't know whatthey were doing. And I took her
concept and went and pitched the guywho was the head of Warner Brothers and
he asked me. He said,well, Dan, tell me about the
show. I said, it's food, fashion and fun, how to get
the most out of life in anaffordable way. Dan, tell me what's
(51:36):
the show. I said, it'sone part food, but it's not a
cooking show. It's going to havethings like Tod Bever's and how to make
the most out of life in termsof setting a table and everything, but
it's not a design show. Andthen he said, Dan, what the
fuck is the show? And Isaid, it's Martha Stewart with rhythm.
And that's how my wife got calledMartha Stewart. And we had for in
(52:00):
years, and then we took thatwe I went with her and pitched a
little company in two thousand that hadhad about about one hundred stores, one
hundred and thirty stores, and itwas called Bed, Bathroom Beyond. And
for the next twenty years we werein a thousand doors and then everything then
(52:25):
we put we had a show onSerious, and then we did a second
show, and then she was youknow, she was spokesperson. And then
right when at the pinnacle of everything, things started to go funky, and
I couldn't understand what was going on, and she was coming down with Alzheimer's
(52:46):
and but nobody knew that. SoI'm giving you the thumbnail sketch of what
is you know, and my wifeand I were together for twenty eight years.
For twenty of those years we neverhad any We would never disagreement.
Five five homes, three restaurants,all the other businesses. And she looked
(53:12):
at me and she says, I'mbroken. She says things are going to
you know, she she went tohigh school, she never went to college,
but she had a PhD in Lifeand understanding. And she says,
you do what you gotta do becausethere's going to be a time after I've
read this, I'm not going toknow who I am. And you know,
I went through some major turbulence aboutthat and having another relationship, but
(53:34):
it was totally totally understood, sanctioned, and uh, you know, I'm
in this. I bought this house. I sold the beach house because it
wasn't the right place, and wehad a penthouse apartment and set on a
central box, uh central box South, and I wanted her to feel comfortable.
(53:59):
And we never had kids, sowe had we had five dogs and
those were her babies. And shedied in this house, uh, four
years ago. But all of thisI say is you don't own anything.
Guys. You get a lease,You don't own your body, You don't
(54:22):
own whatever you think you own.How you live while you're going through the
journey, you know, And thatgoes back quite honestly, understanding that fundamentally
goes back to also Jerry Balmith andbeing a philosophy major and understanding the vagaries
(54:45):
of life and understanding that I knowI'm in total control because I have no
real control. Mm hmm. WhatI learned I don't really The control is
between what I am able to acceptand what I'm not you know, mm
(55:05):
hmm. That's that's that's the secretsauce. That's the special thing that you
get. And that was part ofthat was from my college experience. We
share a little bit more about BeforeI Forget and can we get some insight
to that. Before I Forget?It was a book that my wife and
(55:30):
I wrote with a very well knownauthor, Michael Schneerson. It's see what
let me say this if nothing,if nothing comes of anything in my the
rest of my life, I wantto say that there's a twenty first century
(55:54):
civil rights issue that is plaguing theAfrican American community, and it's called mental
health, and it's called positive dissonance, better known as dementia. Sixty all
dementia is Alzheimer's and we are ina tsunami. It's hard to find someone
(56:19):
black who has not had someone intheir immediate family or friend that has not
had some form of dementia. Ifyou're black, at eighty five, one
out of two people will have eitherAlzheimer's or some form of dementia. If
(56:39):
you're white, it's one out ofthree, two out of three people with
dementia or Alzheimer's are women, andwomen make up the vast majority of the
viable income and growth in the blackcommunity. So it's it's sort of like
watching the world go out and notunderstanding it's not the tide going out.
(57:07):
It's the sucking sound of the tsunami, about the pulling everything out and when
it comes come back in twenty thirtywith a vengeance. We are in a
We are in an epic situation rightnow. We dye our hairs too much,
we fry our hair too much.We're too much overweight, We've got
(57:30):
too much belly fat. We don'teat the right things, we don't sleep
enough. We got the stress.You know. I always say that when
a baby is born, a blackbaby is born, they should almost put
a a cigarette warning label on thatbaby because of the pressures and the stresses
(57:51):
of what it is to be blackin America. This is all it's coming
and you know, and I'm nota genius. It's just looking and the
actual Row Tables is looking at thestatistics. It's looking at the read of
obesity, the lack of exercise,putting our hair under those hot dryers and
(58:13):
putting chemicals in our hair. Allof that stuff is contributing to it,
all of it. It's a toxic, toxic still. I'm sorry to go
off on that, but I'm notreally sorry. The apologies needed. That's
why we do after Gate. Ifyou're a business looking to get your brand
in front of a loyal, supportive, successful market, you need to become
(58:37):
a sponsor of Aftergate. Our networkrecognizes the opportunity to work with Cokegate's a
lum of color to leverage the reachof the show to increase awareness and profitability
for your business. Reach out tothe Defile Life podcast network and we will
work with you throughout the entire process. We have special packages to get you
started. Contact us at info atgo to filef dot com. Every week
(59:01):
professionals of color, ranging from politiciansto educators, to judges, to entrepreneurs,
to lawyers, corporate leaders, andeven retirees. After Gate reaches an
a rate of successful bipod listeners.Contact us to learn more about how we
can benefit you. Yeah. So, so now I know that I see
(59:25):
it. You know I've watched it, and you know I and I cry
so much because I know that we'rein a we're we're in a pressure cooker
and what's going on? Uh,demographically, what's going on with this uh,
(59:45):
this monster who's running again for thepresidency. Uh, it's not gonna
bode well. You know, we'rewe're we're in very trying times. It
just amazes me. Mm hmmm mmhmmm if you had to. Uh,
(01:00:08):
first of all, thank you forfor sure for sharing that. And and
I feel like that was even probablyjust a cliff notes version that with more
time and and and definitely would loveto connect one day over a bite over
all and we could sip on andjust wrap and just and just sit and
listen to the to the story.Oh, thank you for sharing. I
(01:00:29):
gave I gave you the cliff notes. But I'm going to tell you this
right now. I'm proud of bothof you. I'm proud of you.
Know. To know that that catslike you, uh coming up behind me,
uh from a place that we allhad a similar experience does my heart
(01:00:51):
good. And that you guys arenot just paying it forward, You're laying
You're laying down pavement so that othersafter you will have a road map.
That's important. I'm proud to bea part of this. I'm proud that
you allowed me to just uh,free wheel it stream whatever you want to
(01:01:13):
call it, the consciousness. Butremember, at the end of the day,
don't sugarcoat anything. Mm hm youwalking away with gems are there.
We appreciate the acknowledgment, but wealso liked to you know, especially for
the individuals that were there before us. And we know literally we are standing
(01:01:38):
on your shoulders because what you endured, what the people you mentored, the
the blocks that were built on thatcampus. We benefited from the lessons that
you shared with individuals that were therewhile you were there, who they then
shared with individuals who came and theneventually get passed down to us. That's
(01:02:01):
the beauty of this podcast is we'reable to connect the through line between the
seventies, the early eighties, andthen ultimately when we get on campus and
then pass it on to brothers andsisters that come on after us. So
while we greatly appreciate your sentiments andtrust me, it is that type of
comments that is the fuel for usto continue to keep going, we also
(01:02:25):
want to just say we sure enoughappreciate you and you are exactly the reasons
why we do this podcast because peopleneed to know your story. I'm honored,
humble, and more importantly thankful mybrother. With that being said,
(01:02:47):
in full circle mode, here,if you had a chance to speak to
a young brother Gaspi coming out ofBrooklyn Tech in seventy two, going into
college, going into Kogate, whatmight be your words of wisdom you might
share with him? And then fastforward that four more years. Now you're
(01:03:07):
leaving Kogate, you're going into theworld. What might be your advice you
give to yourself back in seventy six. You know, look at life like
a Chinese menu. Take what aliberal arts education is supposed to do.
Take a little bit from everything andput it in a savor it, taste
(01:03:28):
it some of it. You're noton a life, but at least you
know what it is. And thenwhen you finally go through everything, realize
you're you know, in the truestsense of existentialism, you are always becoming.
(01:03:50):
You became, you were done.And as my father once told me,
and I'll never forget this, hesaid, boy, just remember most
things in life is like peeing ina dark suit. It's a warm feeling,
but nobody really wants to know aboutit. And eventually it's going to
(01:04:10):
be in you cold, so enjoythe go It is because we wrap up
the last part of the show isessentially an opportunity for you to plug a
initiative, a website, a cause, your book how they might be able
(01:04:31):
to access it. But we reallywant our listeners to be aware of things
that are important to our guests.And because as you talked about why we
need to support our own this iswhat this show is all about, an
opportunity for our listeners to support you. What would you like to plug.
I'll keep it real simple. Ithink if you can get and listen to
(01:04:59):
if you don't buy the book,and it's very inexpensive to get the audio
version of the book and listen tomy wife, her voice was like watching
Champagne uncorked. And it was thelast thing. It was the last thing
she did, and she struggles andshe finished the book. But I think
(01:05:20):
that it's important, and there's somuch science in this book about Alzheimer's and
about what we're faced with and goingto continue to be faced with as we
move forward. Get the audio orthe book before I forget, because somebody
(01:05:40):
is going to need to be awareof what's coming in family or in your
neighborhood or yourself. You know,I have a dear friend. Dwayne Reid
used to say, you know thatwhole thing, you know with the United
neggor us from mont You know,it's a terrible thing, you know,
(01:06:04):
to waste the mind. Well,Colary to that is the mind you say,
might be yourself. Mm hmm mmhmmm, my man. Yeah,
reflect on that, listeners, reflecton that for a second, with any
(01:06:24):
any final words before we get outof here. Yeah, real simple,
blessed both of you. That's it. Thank you, sir, thank you,
thank you do it, thank you, Thank you. Brother Gast Me
definitely want to acknowledge that we havea lot in common. Both from Brooklyn,
both stand up dudes, both entrepreneurs, both see things black and white,
(01:06:45):
and of course both named alban Ithas been a pleasure, believe we
will, so let me take usout then, officially, this has been
another episode of after Gate Season four. Oh get it right, Get it
right, Thanks to our guests,Thanks to our listeners. After Gate is
always powered by the DeFi Life Network. Make sure you check us out in
(01:07:06):
the future on all of your favoritepodcast streaming platforms. Many more dope episodes
to follow. Remember do the bestyou can, and all the ways you
can, for all the people youcan, for as long as you can.
And the coke eat of your dayis not the codat of today,
and it's certainly not the codate ofthe future. Peace family. You hear
(01:07:29):
that, listen closer, that myfriend is definitely sud of focus. It
drowns out all the useless noise thatcan clutter. The only nay sayers don't
exist. Haters, smaters, thepeanut gallery. Who's that? When you're
in your zone, all that noiseand all that buzz is just elevator music.
(01:07:49):
So enjoy your journey, focus onyour goal, and bask in the
quiet role that it is progressed.Because when it's your time to shoot that
shot, spit that verse, areclose that deal. The only voice that
matters is yours. The fire life
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