August 26, 2025 • 18 mins
18 - Chapter 18. Agnes Grey by Anne Brontë.
Agnes Grey is the daughter of a minister, whose family comes to financial ruin. Desperate to earn money to care for herself, she takes one of the few jobs allowed to respectable women in the early Victorian era, as a governess to the children of the wealthy. In working with two different families, the Bloomfields and the Murrays, she comes to learn about the troubles that face a young woman who must try to rein in unruly, spoiled children for a living, and about the ability of wealth and status to destroy social values. After her father's death, Agnes opens a small school with her mother and finds happiness with a man who loves her for herself.
Agnes Grey is the daughter of a minister, whose family comes to financial ruin. Desperate to earn money to care for herself, she takes one of the few jobs allowed to respectable women in the early Victorian era, as a governess to the children of the wealthy. In working with two different families, the Bloomfields and the Murrays, she comes to learn about the troubles that face a young woman who must try to rein in unruly, spoiled children for a living, and about the ability of wealth and status to destroy social values. After her father's death, Agnes opens a small school with her mother and finds happiness with a man who loves her for herself.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Chapter eighteen of Agnes Gray by Anne Bronte. This liver
ofvox recording is in the public domain. Chapter eighteen, Mirth
and Mourning.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
The first of June arrived at last, and Rosalie Murray
was transmuted into Lady Ashby. Most splendidly beautiful she looked
in her bridal costume. Upon her return from church after
the ceremony, she came flying into the schoolroom, flushed with
excitement and laughing, half in mirth and half in reckless desperation.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
As it seemed to me, Now, Miss Gray, I'm Lady Ashby,
she exclaimed. It's done. My fate is sealed. There's no
drawing back.
Speaker 4 (00:41):
Now.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
I'm come to receive your congratulations and bid you good bye,
and then I'm off for Paris, Rome, Naples, Switzerland, London.
Oh dear, what a deal. I shall see and hear
before I come back again. But don't forget me. I
shan't forget you, though I've been a naughty girl. Come,
why don't you congress me?
Speaker 2 (01:01):
I cannot congratulate you, I replied, till I know whether
this change is really for the better. But I sincerely
hope it is, and I wish you true happiness and
the best of blessings.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Well, good bye. The carriage is waiting and their calling me.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
She gave me a hasty kiss and was hurrying away,
but suddenly returning, embraced me with more affection than I
thought her capable of evincing, and departed with tears in
her eyes. Poor girl. I really loved her then, and
forgave her from my heart all the injury she had
done me and others also. She had not half known it,
I was sure, and I prayed God to pardon her too.
(01:37):
During the remainder of that day of festal sadness, I
was left to my own devices, being too much unhinged
for any steady occupation. I wandered about with a book
in my hand for several hours, more thinking than reading,
for I had many things to think about. In the evening,
I made use of my liberty to go and see
my old friend Nancy once again, to apologize for my
(01:58):
long absence, which must have seemed so neglectful and unkind,
by telling her how busy I had been, and to
talk or read or work for her, whichever might be
most acceptable, and also, of course to tell her the
news of this important day, and perhaps to obtain a
little information from her in return respecting mister Weston's expected departure.
(02:18):
But of this she seemed to know nothing, and I hoped,
as she did, that it was all a false report.
She was very glad to see me, but happily her
eyes were now so nearly well that she was almost
independent of my services. She was deeply interested in the wedding,
But while I amused her with the details of the
festive day, the splendors of the bridal party, and of
the bride herself, she often sighed and shook her head,
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and wished good might come of it. She seemed, like me,
to regard it rather as a theme for sorrow than rejoicing.
I sat a long time talking to her about that
and other things, but no one came. Shall I confess
that I sometimes looked towards the door with a half
expectant wish to see it open and give entrance to
mister Weston, as had happened once before, And that returning
(03:04):
through the lanes and fields, I often paused to look
round me and walked more slowly than was at all
necessary for. Though a fine evening, it was not a
hot one, and finally felt a sense of emptiness and
disappointment at having reached the house without meeting or even
catching a distant glimpse of any one except a few
laborers returning from their work. Sunday, however, was approaching. I
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should see him then, for now that Miss Murray was gone,
I could have my old corner again. I should see him,
and by look, speech and manner I might judge whether
the circumstance of her marriage had very much afflicted him. Happily,
I could perceive no shadow of a difference. He wore
the same aspect as he had worn two months ago. Voice, look,
manner all alike unchanged. There was the same keen, sighted,
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unclouded truthfulness in his discourse, the same forcible clearness in
his style, the same earnest simplicity in all he said
and did that made itself not marked by the eye
and ear, but felt upon the hearts of his audience.
I walked home with Miss Matilda, but he did not
join us. Matilda was now sadly at a loss for
amusement and woefully in want of a companion. Her brothers
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at school, her sister married and gone. She too young
to be admitted into society, for which, from Rosalie's example,
she was in some degree beginning to acquire a taste,
a taste at least for the company of certain classes
of gentlemen at this dull time of year, no hunting
going on, no shooting, even for though she might not
join in that, it was something to see her father
(04:34):
or the gamekeeper go out with the dogs, and to
talk with them on their return about the different birds
they had begged. Now also she was denied the solace
which the companionship of the coachmen, grooms, horses, greyhounds and
pointers might have afforded for her mother, having, notwithstanding the
disadvantages of a country life, so satisfactorily disposed of her
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elder daughter, the pride of her heart, had begun seriously
to turn her attention to the younger, and, being truly
alarmed at the roughness of her manners, and thinking it
high time to work a reform, had been roused at
length to exert her authority, and prohibited entirely the yards, stables,
kennels and coach house. Of course, she was not implicitly obeyed,
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but indulgent, as she had hitherto been, When once her
spirit was roused her temper was not so gentle as
she required that of her governesses to be, and her
will was not to be thwarted with impunity. After many
a scene of contention between mother and daughter, many a
violent outbreak which I was ashamed to witness, in which
the father's authority was often called in to confirm with
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oaths and threats, the mother's slighted prohibitions, for even he
could see that.
Speaker 5 (05:42):
Tilly, though she would have made a fine lad, was
not quite what a young lady ought to be.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Matilda at length found that her easiest plan was to
keep clear of the forbidden regions unless she could now
and then steal a visit without her watchful mother's knowledge.
Amid all this, let it not be imagined that I
asc aped without many a reprimand and many an implied reproach,
that last, none of its sting from not being openly worded,
but rather wounded the more deeply, because from that very
(06:10):
reason it seemed to preclude self defense. Frequently I was
told to amuse Miss Matilda with other things, and to
remind her of her mother's precepts and prohibitions. I did
so to the best of my power, but she would
not be amused against her will and could not against
her taste. And though I went beyond mere reminding, such
gentle remonstrances as I could use, were utterly ineffectual.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
Dear miss Gray, it is the strangest thing. I suppose
you can't help it if it's not in your nature.
But I wonder you can't win the confidence of that
girl and make your society at least as agreeable to
her as that of Robert or Joseph.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
They can talk the best about the things in which
she is most interested.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
I replied, well, that is a strange confession, however, to
come from her governess, who is to form a young
leader these tastes. I wonder if the governess doesn't do it.
I have known governesses who have so completely identified themselves
with the reputation of their young ladies for elegance and
propriety in mind and manners, that they would blush to
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speak a word against them, and to hear the slightest
blame imputed to their pupils was worse than to be
censured in their own persons. And I really think it
very natural for my part.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Do you, ma'am?
Speaker 4 (07:25):
Yes? Of course, the young lady's proficiency and elegance is
of more consequence to the governess than her own, as
well as to the world. If she wishes to prosper
in her vacation, she must devote all her energies to
her business, all her ideas, and all her ambition will
tend to the accomplishment of that one object. When we
wish to decide upon the merits of a governess, we
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naturally look at the young lady she professes to have educated,
and judge accordingly. The judicious governess knows this. She knows
that while she lives in obscurity, herself, her pupils, virtues
and defect will be open to every eye, and that
unless she loses sight of herself and their cultivation, she
need not hope for success. You see, miss Gray, It
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is just the same as any other trade or profession.
They that wish to prosper must devote themselves, body and
soul to their calling, and if they begin to yield
to indolence or self indulgence, they are speedily distanced by
wiser competitors. There is little to choose between a person
that ruins her pupils by neglect and one that corrupts
(08:32):
them by her example. You will excuse my dropping these
little hints. You know it is all for your own good.
Many ladies would speak to you much more strongly, and
many would not trouble themselves to speak at all, but
quietly look out for a substitute. That, of course, would
be the easiest plan. But I know the advantages of
a place like this to a person in your situation,
(08:54):
and I have no desire to part with you, as
I am sure you would do very well if you
will only think of these things and try to exert
yourself a little more, then I am convinced you would
soon acquire that delicate tact which alone is wanting to
give you a proper influence over the mind of your pupil.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
I was about to give the lady some idea of
the fallacy of her expectations, but she sailed away as
soon as she had concluded her speech, having said what
she wished. It was no part of her plan to
await my answer. It was my business to hear and
not to speak. However, as I have said, Matilda at
length yielded in some degree to her mother's authority. Pity
(09:32):
it had not been exerted before, and being thus deprived
of almost every source of amusement, there was nothing for
it but to take long rides with the groom, and
long walks with the governess, and to visit the cottages
and farm houses on her father's estate to kill time,
and chatting with the old men and women that inhabited them.
In one of these walks, it was our chance to
meet mister Weston. This was what I had long desired.
(09:54):
But now, for a moment I wished either he or
I were away. I felt my heart throb so violently
that I dreaded lest some outward signs of emotion should appear.
But I think he hardly glanced at me, and I
was soon calm enough. After a brief salutation to both,
he asked Matilda if she had lately heard from her sister. Yes,
(10:14):
replied she.
Speaker 6 (10:15):
She was at Paris when she wrote, and very well
and very happy.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
She spoke the last word emphatically and with a glance
impertinently sly. He did not seem to notice it, but replied,
with equal emphasis, and very seriously.
Speaker 5 (10:31):
I hope she will continue to be so, do you
think it likely?
Speaker 2 (10:34):
I ventured to inquire for Matilda had started off in
pursuit of her dog that was chasing e Laverette.
Speaker 5 (10:40):
I cannot tell, replied he. Sir Thomas, may be a
better man than I suppose, But from all I have
heard and seen, it seems a pity that one so young,
and gay and and interesting to express many things by
one word whose greatest, if not her only, form, appears
(11:01):
to be thoughtlessness. No trifling fault, to be sure, since
it renders the possessor liable to almost every other and
exposes him to so many temptations. But it seems a
pity that she should be thrown away on such a man.
It was her mother's wish, I suppose.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Yes, and her own too, I think, for she always
laughed at my attempts to dissuade her from the step.
Speaker 5 (11:22):
You did attempt it, then at least you will have
the satisfaction of knowing that it is no fault of
yours if any harm should come of it. As for
missus Murray, I don't know how she can justify her conduct.
If I had sufficient acquaintance with her, i'd ask her.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
It seems unnatural. But some people think rank and wealth
the chief good, and if they can secure that for
their children, they think they have done their duty.
Speaker 5 (11:48):
True, but is it not strange that persons of experience,
who have been married themselves should judge so falsely.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Matilda now came panting back with the last rated body
of the young hare in her hand.
Speaker 5 (12:02):
Was it your intention to kill that hare? Or to
save it?
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Miss Murray, asked mister Weston, apparently puzzled at her gleeful countenance.
Speaker 6 (12:10):
I pretended to want to save it.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
She answered, honestly enough.
Speaker 6 (12:14):
As it was so glaringly out of season, that I
was better pleased to see it lolled. However, you can
both witness that I couldn't help it. Prince was determined
to have her, and he clutched her by the back
and killed her in a minute. Wasn't it a noble chase?
Speaker 5 (12:31):
Very for a young lady? After elaborate, there.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Was a quiet sarcasm in the tone of his reply,
which was not lost upon her. She shrugged her shoulders, and,
turning away with a significant humph, asked me how I
had enjoyed the fun. I replied that I saw no
fun in the matter, but admitted that I had not
observed the transaction very narrowly didn't.
Speaker 6 (12:50):
You see how it doubled just like an old hare?
And didn't you hear it scream?
Speaker 2 (12:56):
I'm happy to say I did not.
Speaker 6 (12:58):
It cried out just like a child.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Poor little thing? What will you do with it?
Speaker 6 (13:04):
Come along, I shall leave it in the first house
we come to. I don't want to take it home,
for fear Papa should scold me for letting the dog
kill it.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Mister Weston was now gone, and we too went on
our way. But as we returned, after having deposited the
hare in a farmhouse and demolished some spice cake and
currant wine in exchange, we met him, returning also from
the execution of his mission, whatever it might be. He
carried in his hand a cluster of beautiful bluebells, which
he offered to me, observing with a smile that though
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he had seen so little of me for the last
two months, he had not forgotten that bluebells were numbered
among my favorite flowers. It was done as a simple
act of good will, without compliment or remarkable courtesy, or
any look that could be construed into reverential tender adoration.
Vida Rosalie Murray. But still it was something to find
my unimportant, saying so well remembered it was something that
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he had noticed so accurately the time I had ceased
to be visible.
Speaker 5 (14:00):
Told, said he that you were a perfect bookworm, miss Gray,
so completely absorbed in your studies that you were lost
to every other pleasure.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Yes, and it's quite true, cried Matilda. No, mister Weston,
don't believe it. It's a scandalous libel. These young ladies
are too fond of making random assertions at the expense
of their friends, and you ought to be careful how
you listen to them.
Speaker 5 (14:24):
I hope this assertion is groundless at any rate.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Why do you particularly object to lady's studying?
Speaker 5 (14:30):
No, but I object to any one so devoting himself
for herself to study as to lose sight of everything else,
except under peculiar circumstances. I consider very close and constant
study as a waste of time and an injury to
the mind as well as a body.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Well, I have neither the time nor the inclination for
such transgressions. We parted again. Well, what is there remarkable
in all this? Why have I recorded it? Because, reader,
it was important enough to give me a cheerful evening
a night of pleasing dreams, and a morning of felicitous hopes,
shallow brain, cheerfulness, foolish dreams, unfounded hopes, you would say,
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and I will not venture to deny it. Suspicions to
that effect arose too frequently in my own mind. But
our wishes are like tinder. The flint and steel of
circumstances are continually striking out sparks which vanish immediately, unless
they chance to fall upon the tinder of our wishes.
Then they instantly ignite, and the flame of hope is
kindled in a moment. But alas that very morning, my
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flickering flame of hope was dismally quenched by a letter
from my mother, which spoke so seriously of my father's
increasing illness that I feared there was little or no
chance of his recovery. And close at hand as the
holidays were, I almost trembled lest they should come too
late for me to meet him in this world. Two
days after a letter from Mary told me his life
was despaired of and his end seemed fast approaching. Then
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immediately I sought permission to anen anticipate the vacation and
go without delay. Missus Murray stared and wondered at the
unwonted energy and boldness with which I urged the request,
and thought there was no occasion to hurry, but finally
gave me leave, stating, however, that there was no need
to be in such agitation about the matter. It might
prove a false alarm, after all, and if not, why
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it was only in the common course of nature we
must all die some time, and I was not to
suppose myself the only afflicted person in the world. And
concluding with saying I might have the phaeton to take
me to ow.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
And instead of repining Miss Gray, be thankful for the
privileges you enjoy. There's many a poor clergyman whose family
would be plunged into ruin by the event of his death.
But you, you see, have influential friends ready to continue
their patronage and to show you every consideration.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
I thanked her for her consideration, and flew to my
room to make some hurried preparations for my departure. My
bonnet and shawl being on, and a few things hastily
crammed into my largest trunk, I descended. But I might
have done the work more leisurely, for no one else
was in a hurry, and I had still a considerable
time to wait for the phaeton. At length, it came
to the door and I was off. But oh, what
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a dreary journey was that? How utterly different from my
former passages Homewards Being too late for the last coach too,
I had to hire a cab for ten miles, and
then a car to take me over the rugged hills.
It was half past ten before I reached home. They
were not in bed. My mother and sister both met
me in the passage, sad, silent pale. I was so
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much shocked and terror stricken that I could not speak
to ask the information I so much longed yet dreaded
to obtain, Agnes, said my mother, struggling to repress some
strong emotion. Oh, Agnes, cried Mary, and burst into tears.
How is he? I asked, gasping for the answer.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
Dead.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
It was the reply I had anticipated, but the shock
seemed none The less tremendous.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
End of chapter eighteen
Speaker 3 (18:00):
S
Chapter eighteen of Agnes Gray by Anne Bronte. This liver
ofvox recording is in the public domain. Chapter eighteen, Mirth
and Mourning.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
The first of June arrived at last, and Rosalie Murray
was transmuted into Lady Ashby. Most splendidly beautiful she looked
in her bridal costume. Upon her return from church after
the ceremony, she came flying into the schoolroom, flushed with
excitement and laughing, half in mirth and half in reckless desperation.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
As it seemed to me, Now, Miss Gray, I'm Lady Ashby,
she exclaimed. It's done. My fate is sealed. There's no
drawing back.
Speaker 4 (00:41):
Now.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
I'm come to receive your congratulations and bid you good bye,
and then I'm off for Paris, Rome, Naples, Switzerland, London.
Oh dear, what a deal. I shall see and hear
before I come back again. But don't forget me. I
shan't forget you, though I've been a naughty girl. Come,
why don't you congress me?
Speaker 2 (01:01):
I cannot congratulate you, I replied, till I know whether
this change is really for the better. But I sincerely
hope it is, and I wish you true happiness and
the best of blessings.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Well, good bye. The carriage is waiting and their calling me.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
She gave me a hasty kiss and was hurrying away,
but suddenly returning, embraced me with more affection than I
thought her capable of evincing, and departed with tears in
her eyes. Poor girl. I really loved her then, and
forgave her from my heart all the injury she had
done me and others also. She had not half known it,
I was sure, and I prayed God to pardon her too.
(01:37):
During the remainder of that day of festal sadness, I
was left to my own devices, being too much unhinged
for any steady occupation. I wandered about with a book
in my hand for several hours, more thinking than reading,
for I had many things to think about. In the evening,
I made use of my liberty to go and see
my old friend Nancy once again, to apologize for my
(01:58):
long absence, which must have seemed so neglectful and unkind,
by telling her how busy I had been, and to
talk or read or work for her, whichever might be
most acceptable, and also, of course to tell her the
news of this important day, and perhaps to obtain a
little information from her in return respecting mister Weston's expected departure.
(02:18):
But of this she seemed to know nothing, and I hoped,
as she did, that it was all a false report.
She was very glad to see me, but happily her
eyes were now so nearly well that she was almost
independent of my services. She was deeply interested in the wedding,
But while I amused her with the details of the
festive day, the splendors of the bridal party, and of
the bride herself, she often sighed and shook her head,
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and wished good might come of it. She seemed, like me,
to regard it rather as a theme for sorrow than rejoicing.
I sat a long time talking to her about that
and other things, but no one came. Shall I confess
that I sometimes looked towards the door with a half
expectant wish to see it open and give entrance to
mister Weston, as had happened once before, And that returning
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through the lanes and fields, I often paused to look
round me and walked more slowly than was at all
necessary for. Though a fine evening, it was not a
hot one, and finally felt a sense of emptiness and
disappointment at having reached the house without meeting or even
catching a distant glimpse of any one except a few
laborers returning from their work. Sunday, however, was approaching. I
(03:25):
should see him then, for now that Miss Murray was gone,
I could have my old corner again. I should see him,
and by look, speech and manner I might judge whether
the circumstance of her marriage had very much afflicted him. Happily,
I could perceive no shadow of a difference. He wore
the same aspect as he had worn two months ago. Voice, look,
manner all alike unchanged. There was the same keen, sighted,
(03:49):
unclouded truthfulness in his discourse, the same forcible clearness in
his style, the same earnest simplicity in all he said
and did that made itself not marked by the eye
and ear, but felt upon the hearts of his audience.
I walked home with Miss Matilda, but he did not
join us. Matilda was now sadly at a loss for
amusement and woefully in want of a companion. Her brothers
(04:12):
at school, her sister married and gone. She too young
to be admitted into society, for which, from Rosalie's example,
she was in some degree beginning to acquire a taste,
a taste at least for the company of certain classes
of gentlemen at this dull time of year, no hunting
going on, no shooting, even for though she might not
join in that, it was something to see her father
(04:34):
or the gamekeeper go out with the dogs, and to
talk with them on their return about the different birds
they had begged. Now also she was denied the solace
which the companionship of the coachmen, grooms, horses, greyhounds and
pointers might have afforded for her mother, having, notwithstanding the
disadvantages of a country life, so satisfactorily disposed of her
(04:54):
elder daughter, the pride of her heart, had begun seriously
to turn her attention to the younger, and, being truly
alarmed at the roughness of her manners, and thinking it
high time to work a reform, had been roused at
length to exert her authority, and prohibited entirely the yards, stables,
kennels and coach house. Of course, she was not implicitly obeyed,
(05:16):
but indulgent, as she had hitherto been, When once her
spirit was roused her temper was not so gentle as
she required that of her governesses to be, and her
will was not to be thwarted with impunity. After many
a scene of contention between mother and daughter, many a
violent outbreak which I was ashamed to witness, in which
the father's authority was often called in to confirm with
(05:36):
oaths and threats, the mother's slighted prohibitions, for even he
could see that.
Speaker 5 (05:42):
Tilly, though she would have made a fine lad, was
not quite what a young lady ought to be.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Matilda at length found that her easiest plan was to
keep clear of the forbidden regions unless she could now
and then steal a visit without her watchful mother's knowledge.
Amid all this, let it not be imagined that I
asc aped without many a reprimand and many an implied reproach,
that last, none of its sting from not being openly worded,
but rather wounded the more deeply, because from that very
(06:10):
reason it seemed to preclude self defense. Frequently I was
told to amuse Miss Matilda with other things, and to
remind her of her mother's precepts and prohibitions. I did
so to the best of my power, but she would
not be amused against her will and could not against
her taste. And though I went beyond mere reminding, such
gentle remonstrances as I could use, were utterly ineffectual.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
Dear miss Gray, it is the strangest thing. I suppose
you can't help it if it's not in your nature.
But I wonder you can't win the confidence of that
girl and make your society at least as agreeable to
her as that of Robert or Joseph.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
They can talk the best about the things in which
she is most interested.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
I replied, well, that is a strange confession, however, to
come from her governess, who is to form a young
leader these tastes. I wonder if the governess doesn't do it.
I have known governesses who have so completely identified themselves
with the reputation of their young ladies for elegance and
propriety in mind and manners, that they would blush to
(07:13):
speak a word against them, and to hear the slightest
blame imputed to their pupils was worse than to be
censured in their own persons. And I really think it
very natural for my part.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Do you, ma'am?
Speaker 4 (07:25):
Yes? Of course, the young lady's proficiency and elegance is
of more consequence to the governess than her own, as
well as to the world. If she wishes to prosper
in her vacation, she must devote all her energies to
her business, all her ideas, and all her ambition will
tend to the accomplishment of that one object. When we
wish to decide upon the merits of a governess, we
(07:48):
naturally look at the young lady she professes to have educated,
and judge accordingly. The judicious governess knows this. She knows
that while she lives in obscurity, herself, her pupils, virtues
and defect will be open to every eye, and that
unless she loses sight of herself and their cultivation, she
need not hope for success. You see, miss Gray, It
(08:11):
is just the same as any other trade or profession.
They that wish to prosper must devote themselves, body and
soul to their calling, and if they begin to yield
to indolence or self indulgence, they are speedily distanced by
wiser competitors. There is little to choose between a person
that ruins her pupils by neglect and one that corrupts
(08:32):
them by her example. You will excuse my dropping these
little hints. You know it is all for your own good.
Many ladies would speak to you much more strongly, and
many would not trouble themselves to speak at all, but
quietly look out for a substitute. That, of course, would
be the easiest plan. But I know the advantages of
a place like this to a person in your situation,
(08:54):
and I have no desire to part with you, as
I am sure you would do very well if you
will only think of these things and try to exert
yourself a little more, then I am convinced you would
soon acquire that delicate tact which alone is wanting to
give you a proper influence over the mind of your pupil.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
I was about to give the lady some idea of
the fallacy of her expectations, but she sailed away as
soon as she had concluded her speech, having said what
she wished. It was no part of her plan to
await my answer. It was my business to hear and
not to speak. However, as I have said, Matilda at
length yielded in some degree to her mother's authority. Pity
(09:32):
it had not been exerted before, and being thus deprived
of almost every source of amusement, there was nothing for
it but to take long rides with the groom, and
long walks with the governess, and to visit the cottages
and farm houses on her father's estate to kill time,
and chatting with the old men and women that inhabited them.
In one of these walks, it was our chance to
meet mister Weston. This was what I had long desired.
(09:54):
But now, for a moment I wished either he or
I were away. I felt my heart throb so violently
that I dreaded lest some outward signs of emotion should appear.
But I think he hardly glanced at me, and I
was soon calm enough. After a brief salutation to both,
he asked Matilda if she had lately heard from her sister. Yes,
(10:14):
replied she.
Speaker 6 (10:15):
She was at Paris when she wrote, and very well
and very happy.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
She spoke the last word emphatically and with a glance
impertinently sly. He did not seem to notice it, but replied,
with equal emphasis, and very seriously.
Speaker 5 (10:31):
I hope she will continue to be so, do you
think it likely?
Speaker 2 (10:34):
I ventured to inquire for Matilda had started off in
pursuit of her dog that was chasing e Laverette.
Speaker 5 (10:40):
I cannot tell, replied he. Sir Thomas, may be a
better man than I suppose, But from all I have
heard and seen, it seems a pity that one so young,
and gay and and interesting to express many things by
one word whose greatest, if not her only, form, appears
(11:01):
to be thoughtlessness. No trifling fault, to be sure, since
it renders the possessor liable to almost every other and
exposes him to so many temptations. But it seems a
pity that she should be thrown away on such a man.
It was her mother's wish, I suppose.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Yes, and her own too, I think, for she always
laughed at my attempts to dissuade her from the step.
Speaker 5 (11:22):
You did attempt it, then at least you will have
the satisfaction of knowing that it is no fault of
yours if any harm should come of it. As for
missus Murray, I don't know how she can justify her conduct.
If I had sufficient acquaintance with her, i'd ask her.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
It seems unnatural. But some people think rank and wealth
the chief good, and if they can secure that for
their children, they think they have done their duty.
Speaker 5 (11:48):
True, but is it not strange that persons of experience,
who have been married themselves should judge so falsely.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Matilda now came panting back with the last rated body
of the young hare in her hand.
Speaker 5 (12:02):
Was it your intention to kill that hare? Or to
save it?
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Miss Murray, asked mister Weston, apparently puzzled at her gleeful countenance.
Speaker 6 (12:10):
I pretended to want to save it.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
She answered, honestly enough.
Speaker 6 (12:14):
As it was so glaringly out of season, that I
was better pleased to see it lolled. However, you can
both witness that I couldn't help it. Prince was determined
to have her, and he clutched her by the back
and killed her in a minute. Wasn't it a noble chase?
Speaker 5 (12:31):
Very for a young lady? After elaborate, there.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Was a quiet sarcasm in the tone of his reply,
which was not lost upon her. She shrugged her shoulders, and,
turning away with a significant humph, asked me how I
had enjoyed the fun. I replied that I saw no
fun in the matter, but admitted that I had not
observed the transaction very narrowly didn't.
Speaker 6 (12:50):
You see how it doubled just like an old hare?
And didn't you hear it scream?
Speaker 2 (12:56):
I'm happy to say I did not.
Speaker 6 (12:58):
It cried out just like a child.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Poor little thing? What will you do with it?
Speaker 6 (13:04):
Come along, I shall leave it in the first house
we come to. I don't want to take it home,
for fear Papa should scold me for letting the dog
kill it.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Mister Weston was now gone, and we too went on
our way. But as we returned, after having deposited the
hare in a farmhouse and demolished some spice cake and
currant wine in exchange, we met him, returning also from
the execution of his mission, whatever it might be. He
carried in his hand a cluster of beautiful bluebells, which
he offered to me, observing with a smile that though
(13:34):
he had seen so little of me for the last
two months, he had not forgotten that bluebells were numbered
among my favorite flowers. It was done as a simple
act of good will, without compliment or remarkable courtesy, or
any look that could be construed into reverential tender adoration.
Vida Rosalie Murray. But still it was something to find
my unimportant, saying so well remembered it was something that
(13:56):
he had noticed so accurately the time I had ceased
to be visible.
Speaker 5 (14:00):
Told, said he that you were a perfect bookworm, miss Gray,
so completely absorbed in your studies that you were lost
to every other pleasure.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Yes, and it's quite true, cried Matilda. No, mister Weston,
don't believe it. It's a scandalous libel. These young ladies
are too fond of making random assertions at the expense
of their friends, and you ought to be careful how
you listen to them.
Speaker 5 (14:24):
I hope this assertion is groundless at any rate.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Why do you particularly object to lady's studying?
Speaker 5 (14:30):
No, but I object to any one so devoting himself
for herself to study as to lose sight of everything else,
except under peculiar circumstances. I consider very close and constant
study as a waste of time and an injury to
the mind as well as a body.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Well, I have neither the time nor the inclination for
such transgressions. We parted again. Well, what is there remarkable
in all this? Why have I recorded it? Because, reader,
it was important enough to give me a cheerful evening
a night of pleasing dreams, and a morning of felicitous hopes,
shallow brain, cheerfulness, foolish dreams, unfounded hopes, you would say,
(15:12):
and I will not venture to deny it. Suspicions to
that effect arose too frequently in my own mind. But
our wishes are like tinder. The flint and steel of
circumstances are continually striking out sparks which vanish immediately, unless
they chance to fall upon the tinder of our wishes.
Then they instantly ignite, and the flame of hope is
kindled in a moment. But alas that very morning, my
(15:35):
flickering flame of hope was dismally quenched by a letter
from my mother, which spoke so seriously of my father's
increasing illness that I feared there was little or no
chance of his recovery. And close at hand as the
holidays were, I almost trembled lest they should come too
late for me to meet him in this world. Two
days after a letter from Mary told me his life
was despaired of and his end seemed fast approaching. Then
(15:58):
immediately I sought permission to anen anticipate the vacation and
go without delay. Missus Murray stared and wondered at the
unwonted energy and boldness with which I urged the request,
and thought there was no occasion to hurry, but finally
gave me leave, stating, however, that there was no need
to be in such agitation about the matter. It might
prove a false alarm, after all, and if not, why
(16:19):
it was only in the common course of nature we
must all die some time, and I was not to
suppose myself the only afflicted person in the world. And
concluding with saying I might have the phaeton to take
me to ow.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
And instead of repining Miss Gray, be thankful for the
privileges you enjoy. There's many a poor clergyman whose family
would be plunged into ruin by the event of his death.
But you, you see, have influential friends ready to continue
their patronage and to show you every consideration.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
I thanked her for her consideration, and flew to my
room to make some hurried preparations for my departure. My
bonnet and shawl being on, and a few things hastily
crammed into my largest trunk, I descended. But I might
have done the work more leisurely, for no one else
was in a hurry, and I had still a considerable
time to wait for the phaeton. At length, it came
to the door and I was off. But oh, what
(17:09):
a dreary journey was that? How utterly different from my
former passages Homewards Being too late for the last coach too,
I had to hire a cab for ten miles, and
then a car to take me over the rugged hills.
It was half past ten before I reached home. They
were not in bed. My mother and sister both met
me in the passage, sad, silent pale. I was so
(17:30):
much shocked and terror stricken that I could not speak
to ask the information I so much longed yet dreaded
to obtain, Agnes, said my mother, struggling to repress some
strong emotion. Oh, Agnes, cried Mary, and burst into tears.
How is he? I asked, gasping for the answer.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
Dead.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
It was the reply I had anticipated, but the shock
seemed none The less tremendous.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
End of chapter eighteen
Speaker 3 (18:00):
S
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