Episode 104, December 28, 2024 - New Year's Eve

This is the New Year's Eve Special. In this episode we feature:

• Abbott & Cosetllo
• Our Miss Brooks
• The Aldrich Family
• Father Knows Best
• Harold Peary
• The Jack Benny Show

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:36):
Welcome to air checks. In the last episode of the year,
this is our New Year's Day celebration special. To kick
it off, here is Abbott and Costello's New Year's Eve
episode from December thirty first, nineteen forty eight.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
Yeah, but what time of it? The pattercott though, we're
only air for BTQ gasoline. You're in Hollywood? Well what
are we waiting for?

Speaker 3 (00:55):
Let's go with the abbit In Costello Show.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
Yes, it's the new transcribed ab In Costello Show with
their new singing discovery Susan Miller and Matty mal mcgaucustra.
Hold on to your tears, folks, for here they are
Bud Abadan Lou cost Mello. Well here I am god Sella.

Speaker 4 (01:48):
What are you?

Speaker 2 (01:49):
What are you so happy about it? Well? It's wasn't
here in comfo Haabbits the pelor shining the flowers enough
but the bee's enough money the cats and then wait,
cats don't have any hon me? No the why a
dark cats stay up until four o'clock ever in the morning.
Never mind that what are you doing? That knife and

(02:12):
that gun stuck in your belt? Habits All California drivers
carry aknife and gun before so they can shoot up
one street and cut down the other. Help you better
drive carefully tonight because it's two years eve and the
streets are very crowd. You're telling me coming down here
a girl she blew a hoy ripe in my ears.

(02:33):
So what took me two years to get it out?
Our whole family is gonna stay up until midnight, abbot
to welcome in the new Year's no note on my
fos than a year and a half. And they want
to hear what affect me? Whistle sounds like, well, like
they'll always celebrating the night. Oh, indeed, open my uncle

(02:54):
Mike an May made him find a play. It was
as easy as the twist of it. Now, haven't canna
do it? He twisted?

Speaker 5 (02:59):
Is this?

Speaker 2 (03:01):
Hey?

Speaker 6 (03:01):
Have it?

Speaker 5 (03:02):
Well?

Speaker 2 (03:02):
If you've gotten that tick bottle champagne? That mom, Oh,
that campaign is mum verly, But will your mum be
loaded tonight? Mom? Stampagne? That's the best time when you
open the court pop the campagne is mum and the
court pop last night. That's a pretty picture. Mom gets

(03:25):
told a campaign and pop winds up at the court.
Why didn't you come to my house in that chest?
Let me add it I remember your party last year?
What games we played? Drawing pictures? And then hey, wait
a minute, remember how I drew a picture of a
taxi cab on the wall. Yeah, and at four o'clock
we all got in it and go home. When you

(03:49):
keep when you keep quiet, Castellos, that's enough from you.
Give my friend here a chance of the microphone, like
to bring your greetings and best wishes too from some
men you ought to know. There's Anderson up in San Francisco,
George Clay Los Angeles, Daniel Brenning in Walnut, California, and
aw Thornton not in Ontario. And that's who. There's herman
Galdo Appadaco in Cucamonga, and another Los Angeles man, Everett L.

Speaker 7 (04:11):
Miller.

Speaker 2 (04:12):
Who are they? Well, there's some of the new PDQ
independent dealers, the automotive experts, men who operate their own
filling stations, who decided that PDQ has the quality, the
reputation and the value they insist on giving their customs.
That's why these new PDQ dealers, like so many before them,
have decided to stake their personal business success on the
PDQ name. We're proud to welcome these men into the

(04:34):
PDQ family. More and more independent dealers are selecting PDQ
as the gasoline to set for. These men know that
what's good for your car is good for their business,
and they know that motors get more for their money
when they fill up with PDQ and now have it
and custouts. God Sell, I'm god Feller. Put that gun down.

(05:07):
The idea of bringing that gun into the studio. Oh,
that is in a really pouber. But it's a cigarette lighter.
I'll tell you how it works. I'll put this, I'll
put the cigar in my mouth, and when I pull
the cigarettill light my cigar. Now, you'd better be careful.
It's a pretty short cigar. Watch out for your nose,
don't worry. Oh well, things don't spoke too good around
here anyway. Saying what's the idea of having I take

(05:30):
piece of I think piece of Miss Christ's don't pin
on your head? Christmas is true? Yes, but I ain't you.
The old year passes out in just a few hours,
you'll be far behind you. Oh cut that out. Last
year you beat up I Evelyn, God tell us what's
that you've got on your hands? It's a media scot

(05:51):
from Philter McGee. Well it's the same. I don't know.
You have to watch it three times a day for
three months before the message comes out. Oh that's it.
Oh continue, thank you, we are your man. It for rabbit.
What you're wearing? I just coat my wife gave for Christmas.
I thought it was a little too short for a
battl God. You know God yourself. You love tired and

(06:14):
I am tired. The plus was so clouded I had
to stand up all away into holly, you dude, Yes,
my lenk's that's the number. I had to pist them
to see if they were mine? Is that so? Yep?
My case comes up tomorrow and I s excuse for
being lain that Sella. What takes you so long to
get here every week? What are you doing in the morning?

(06:35):
Oh happen, I'm a fishing man. I'll give you a
free hotline of a day and the life of who
cut sell up? At six o'clock my alarm clock rings.
I jump up and set it off. I said, I
set it off. I said, I shut it up. But

(07:00):
I know. I try to keep down the budget on
the show, but I think we could have poured a
better of alt I'll never mind. Go ahead, go ahead,
Why it's me. I opened the door of my room.
Put me. I closed it the back of the room.

Speaker 8 (07:14):
What have it?

Speaker 2 (07:14):
I forgot to dress, That's why I finish dressing. I
opened the door again. What's the idea of all those
locks and bolts on the door. I can't be too careful. Ever,
there's a gorge, said he had his bubble. Then so looks
across the hall from me, and you put all those

(07:35):
locks and bolts from your door? No he did not?
Coulda gave me a glass? Well, I don't want to
deserve anybody. So I kipped toes down the hall. I'm
worrying my heavy underway. You know.

Speaker 9 (07:51):
Now I sweep down the back stairs.

Speaker 4 (08:05):
What happens?

Speaker 2 (08:06):
There's no back there? I step out, tied into a
typically beautiful California day. I forgot there was a slight
bob oh, I didn't want it to do. I strolled
leisurely down the street, tipping my hat to the lift

(08:29):
and right, I take up about eight bucks that way
every morning. Can't tell you make a perfect way for
an idiot. Thanks have it, but you'll have to ask
my mother first. Right, fellow, are you going to turn
it over new leaf this year. After this year, I
won't say any more asking things behind your back. Oh,
I'm glad to hear that you. That's I'm gonna say.
I'm mighty your faith. And another thing, I'm giving up

(08:52):
drinking hard liquors. Yeah, dummy, you don't drink hard liquor.
I know that's what makes it easy to give it up.

Speaker 10 (09:01):
Well, when Susan Lewes, Hello, Susan, how are you?

Speaker 2 (09:14):
You look lovely tonight? Would you give me a kiss?

Speaker 11 (09:16):
I might give you a good innocent kid?

Speaker 12 (09:18):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (09:18):
What a good innocent kid?

Speaker 11 (09:21):
Don't you know what goody innocent kisses are?

Speaker 13 (09:23):
No?

Speaker 2 (09:23):
What good are they?

Speaker 7 (09:27):
Well?

Speaker 4 (09:28):
Never mind that?

Speaker 2 (09:28):
Why why didn't you take? Why did you take Susan's
or the Rose Bull tomorrow's cut? Sella Coamar? Oh no, thanks,
all right, don't go to the game with Uh, that's
no way to talk, I sello. After all, they only
hold a Rose Bull game one day a year. Yes,
and I found out why why it takes the other
three hundred and sixty four days to get home? Oh

(09:54):
that crowded Lewis. Oh no, see us to go to
people with practice and pactice the girl likes to be paided.
I picked him up on my own, started for the exits. Yes, yes,
two first statement. Rushed over to me and said, wooll taker.
I said, oh no, you don't. There's more in there.
Go in and get your row. I be what you've done.

Speaker 4 (10:19):
You'll never go with yourself.

Speaker 2 (10:20):
Well I'm going alone anyway. I wouldn't miss that rose
ball game for anything. You know, my whole family of
football players, they are, oh sure. My oldest brother was
a fullback and my youngest brother was a tackle. And
when I was born, my mother looked at me and said, pop,
this is the end. Well, I don't think you ever
played football? Oh no. I was captain of the CUK
amonger washwomen. We were a scrub team. That must have

(10:46):
been some football team. I'll say it once. We had
the cutest little redhead cheerleaders every serge. When the game start,
I would grab that little cheerleader and run down the field.
Grab the cheerleader. Yeah you're supposed to grab the ball.
You grab what you like, and I grab as I let.
Gives you questions about football? Now, what team has the
best line Michigan? Who has the best offensive plenny? No, no, no,

(11:11):
who has the best offensive you want to and who
has the best fact y Lamar god Sell, pay attention. Now,
Let's say you're in the game, the opening gun is
fired and the fullback kicks off. What do you do
but I might take Stacey bag and grab the guy
who fired a gun before you just said that some

(11:31):
guy fired a gun in the full back kicked off.
I know I'm murdered. When I see what I'm I'll
forget him. Now that the team springs into action, Captain
paid back to make a pad. That's the pretty sight.
One of the first friends just kicked off and this
guy stocks attention. Now they're in for me. The ball

(11:51):
a step from center and the quarterback makes off hole
in the left God, this is terrible. Hurst. The fullback
kicks off. Now, somebody pull hold to the left guard.
Have a Colly sdi get the long anger. Get Gane Russell.
What do you want with Jane Wrestle, You'll get it.
I'll take you something. Keep your mind on the football game, now,

(12:13):
I don't know. A halfback tries a lighting onuns and
loses two feet, and I suppose nobody worries about that either.
Were not what two feet to the half back. Well,
I guess if he had to, he could run through
the rest of the game on his knees. I don't
worry on the next way he gets those two feet back,
and probably a couple of more, it will have four feet. Thirdly,
whether he is double what do you mean? Have you
tried to buy shoes?

Speaker 14 (12:34):
Waving hall?

Speaker 2 (12:36):
Is the game going on? Lock time resistant called? The
players are refreshing themselves from the water bucket. What's so funny?
The tackle just stumble it and kick the fucking how
can you stand in there?

Speaker 5 (12:49):
Raft?

Speaker 2 (12:50):
And when he's four hours off their time like cry,
let's get.

Speaker 7 (12:55):
On in the game.

Speaker 2 (12:56):
The calling time out again looks like trouble that a noun.
One of the fellows just framed his little fingers and
the teammates are worried. This is serious, This is serious.
So far these guys have been floated. Nobody says the word.
All of a sudden, some sissy strains his little finger.
Everybody is right up for the doctor. Wait a minute,
Wait a minute. The opposing team left the ball and

(13:19):
got it in the end, runs out and pulled on
the ball. Now the referee is is running out. He's
jumping up and down waving his arms. That means the
ball is dead. That did it, Abbot, I didn't say
nothing when you said that the guy fired that gun.
In the four fullback kicked off. I hope back my
tears when a quarterback that the hole unto the left. God,
I only slip a little when the half back loss
of two feets, and I try to be praved when

(13:40):
that tackle kick the bucket. But when you stand there
and tell me that the poor little ball is dead,
you have not only breackened the fair name of football,
but you have cast the persons on the queen the
American sports a partisi cocaine dominos. Not to mention skip
the rope held me my gainst in a minute box

(14:10):
five fast here Marst and another subject. And our ladies
and gentleman, we paused on this to this gay HELLARTI
to bring you word of the late, the scientifically interesting
and inspective aspect of what learn has men of many
leading institutions of calls the internal combustion motor. And you
step it, Bota, Please give those a chancer in the
rear chest. He here now you, sir, is your tank low?
Now you lose the man the purple coup. Very well, sir,
I have here an object that is five thousand, two
hundred and eighty feet long. It's called a mile. You
will find two to six of these miles X. Come

(14:31):
on join a ten inch cinepy gallon of PDQU gasoline
you buy in the untutored mind. It is a feat
the most uncommon magic that so many, many long and
happy miles of posing can be pointing with a small
space of a single thank full of PDQ.

Speaker 12 (14:41):
But get the windshie to.

Speaker 2 (14:42):
Scientific tests have shown time and again at the miracle
man the PDQU have harnessed the energy if told him
to give you more for your dollar. Don't take my word, Bord,
don't strangthier smith tats or listen follows extra PDQ miles.
Just put a tankful in your car and watch, observe phostly,
and you shall see the extra PDQ miletur on your
own SPINARDA not an advertising stunt power special offer, but
a bona fide of transaction between you and the independent PDQ.
PDQ gas is sold during the performance. Afterwards that your

(15:03):
neighborhood pedd h station kindly remaining your cheeks now, buddy,
A Costello and now here is the vacious Susan Miller
with Mary Malick and the orchestra.

Speaker 11 (15:26):
Man the man I met said, don't get the stop
of a fat when things are gray, the studding say must.

Speaker 2 (15:33):
Be in my guy. If your temper gets to know you.

Speaker 11 (15:38):
Got us with your stopping ten back, I never that
has you like the cop if your feeling mad at
Wendy can possibly get them?

Speaker 2 (15:52):
I know that's also like those stoic charities Volta.

Speaker 11 (15:58):
John't be played its side little bit strange?

Speaker 15 (16:02):
Oh that home and white.

Speaker 2 (16:05):
Of all of that war.

Speaker 11 (16:07):
And if you find yourself and a furious your own again,
your own jury, contucky. I never I have you like
the top about shadow?

Speaker 2 (16:15):
Who write that about it? And when you call it
when I like you? I never had like the top.

Speaker 11 (16:28):
About Sarah's caball and Charity both back band not.

Speaker 2 (16:34):
Your tongue. God shout and look at your girls. Ool
the queen forgot and friends you will? Who were you?

(16:56):
He bo that throve o'clock, the good human man is he?
Listen when you cut it out, it's not over come on,
it's ruck.

Speaker 5 (17:12):
No.

Speaker 2 (17:12):
I want you to start the new year. I want
you to start. Will your listen to me pleased. I
want you to start the new year with a resolution.
I want you to start the new year with a resolution.
All right, what should I start a resolution? I'm satisfied
with the government we got now?

Speaker 16 (17:26):
No?

Speaker 2 (17:26):
No, I mean, don't you want to start the new
year with a clean sheet? Yes, and clean pillowcases too.
I'm telling you about good resolutions, things you are going
to do next year. Oh them kind of resolution, I
mean a whole Listen. I wrote them down on a
piece of paper first. I will not misplace anything. What's that?
I don't know. I can't find the paper any anymore

(17:50):
of them? Oh? Yes, I promised to keep up gambling.
I'll never make another bet. You'll never stick to that?
How much do you want to bet? And here's my list?
Sabbath resolution number one, stop spending my money on girls.
Number two, Stop flirting with girls. Number three, stop nicking
with girls? Good? What's number four? Ignore numbers one, two,

(18:12):
and three? Yeah? Never, you have nothing on your mind
with girls. Were you out with a girl last night?

Speaker 5 (18:23):
No?

Speaker 2 (18:23):
I spent the evening at home. I lit a warm,
hairy fire in my living room, but my landlord objected.
Why I don't have a fireplace. Never mind that.

Speaker 7 (18:34):
What is that?

Speaker 2 (18:35):
You have a roll up in your pocket there it's
a few for calendar. But next year mister Shults, my
bushy gave it to me. And look it's got a
picture of mister Schultz's ben fought on m it is.
That's a picture of all the crime. He he's got
a long white beard and he's got a sickle in
the band.

Speaker 4 (18:48):
So you know what that tickle is for?

Speaker 2 (18:50):
Because it's bed no no. Whenever you see father time
you'll find the old man sickle, the old man sickle curdling.
Why don't they call a doctor. They shouldn't let a
long man run around sickles. He's ribs, the bubble that
could develop and the stuff of cockle on the knuckle.
He'll wind up in a hospital. U a keckle al

(19:14):
you po the sick when you look to the second
lie k on the life's talking about is the side?
And it's a side? What side? What side are you on?
Like I, what are you talking about? What are you
talking about? You just said that young man would stickle
on the side. If he kep on the right ticycle

(19:35):
could be very dangerous. He might have a Penda sickle.
Look guy said up all the time in his circle
represents the old year, and this little baby picture alongside
him on the calendar is the new year. Oh he's
a cute little baby, but he's sent me wears expensive clothes.
Expensive clothes. Was at the price tag on a diaper?
Nineteen forty eight a n calendar, and I seen forty

(20:00):
eight is a leap year in California. Every year is
leap yard. I can believe you don't look at the
stats on that calend. I can see you don't look
at the pedestrians on Hollywood and buying. Leap year is perp.

Speaker 17 (20:14):
From other years.

Speaker 2 (20:14):
And what makes it different? Well, it's the year when
girls pursue the men. It's the year the girl's shanks. Man,
it's the year when the girls picked them in into
burying them. Any questions, Yes, what makes it different? Sleep
year comes once every four years. It's controlled by the stars.
Have you ever studied the stars? Yes, that's a night.

(20:35):
Telly up in my backyard and look up at a
big diaper. That that's big differ, don't big don't know
the stars, that's big diaper. You don't know my backyard?

Speaker 8 (20:50):
All right, go.

Speaker 2 (20:54):
Back to the point. How do you manage to accumulate
such an abundance of ignorance? I keep in touch with
my congress. Oh the night is New Year's Eve? Now
what are your players? I'm taking Ruby pook you to

(21:16):
a party. I was gonna play that new game of
invented only Express? How do you play bony express? Just
like post Office with a little more horse than around.
You shouldn't run around with that Ruby Pool cue?

Speaker 5 (21:32):
Why not?

Speaker 2 (21:32):
But I took her to a party last night, and
if it wasn't for a ruby, the party would have
been a pet Why they couldn't find a bottle open?
And she was the only girl there with BUCkies. But fella,
why do you go steady with such out homely girl?
With Ruby? Homely girls that have been kind of go
steady with? How do you figure that out? Some guy
takes her away from me. I don't lose nothing. Ruby

(21:57):
POOLQ is not for you. She's not educated. Oh she
is not movie went to college. She went to Notre Dame.
Wait a minute, how could Ruby go to Notre Dame
at the boys' school? Hab But if you play football,
they don't ask no questions. If you won't make any
mistakes in the new year. I'm going to get you
a horoscope. What a horoscope? You know a horoscope? I

(22:19):
don't know horoscope, but I know it's got a horror height.
I we're going to visit an astrologer and see what's
in store for you for the coming year. Madame Zah,
that's a funny name. Madame. I Broadcasteller here to get

(22:44):
his horoscope for nineteen forty eight.

Speaker 15 (22:46):
Very well, now, mister Castillo, tell me what time was
you born under?

Speaker 2 (22:50):
What time was I born?

Speaker 13 (22:51):
On her?

Speaker 2 (22:51):
That's why this kid thinks I was born under a
billboiecause there was he fulling about a zodiage sign.

Speaker 15 (22:58):
Yes, mine Harris the bull, or me I was a Nia?

Speaker 2 (23:07):
Never mind, I tell her what way you were born? Thursday?
I don't know it's Thursday was the next day we
had fish.

Speaker 7 (23:21):
Cow.

Speaker 15 (23:22):
Tellow no, I don't have to get fuster by.

Speaker 18 (23:25):
The bumps on your head.

Speaker 2 (23:26):
But I ain't got no bump on my head.

Speaker 15 (23:30):
I will now pick it your fuster by the bumps
on your head. That's how fellow in nineteen forty eight,
you will be sorry that you're a good business man.

Speaker 2 (23:40):
She's right, but Madame Sazza. I would have been a
Wilton there today except one thing. What's that? I never
had any money? See finished reading the bumps one head
That was a funny one hold your head down. Go
ahead read those bumps, Maim.

Speaker 15 (23:56):
This bomb shows me you will be a gorgeous blocks.
And this tells me that she will hug you and
kiss you, and hug you.

Speaker 2 (24:02):
And kiss you and then tell me more.

Speaker 8 (24:06):
I can't.

Speaker 2 (24:07):
You don't have any more, dumb Madam Saiza hits me
once more. Ah, now I can see your character. You
a very high and backful boy castello, shy and bashful.
She's right at it.

Speaker 4 (24:26):
I never told you this.

Speaker 2 (24:27):
I'm so bashful. I keep the Buurrea in my room
turned towards the wall. Why so it's drawers won't show.
I would rather go back to sickle.

Speaker 8 (24:42):
I know.

Speaker 2 (24:44):
Enough of this, Madam Paisa. What does the cuts allow
you for the reading?

Speaker 14 (24:47):
Ten dollars?

Speaker 11 (24:48):
But if he pays me twenty dollars, I'll give him
a lucky gipsy thinking.

Speaker 2 (24:52):
Okay, here's twenty dollars, and here's your thinking. Hey, hey,
this is nothing but a glass of water. Well, but
I think that Madame Dada's nuts. Did you did you
notice all the geraniums she had rash?

Speaker 12 (25:08):
Nothing?

Speaker 2 (25:08):
Lots of people have geraniums growing out of their heads.
Oh comments, we'll walk back to town. I suppose you're
going to Ruby's body. Now I'm gonna stick with you.

Speaker 12 (25:17):
Have it.

Speaker 2 (25:18):
We'll have a big New Year's Eve.

Speaker 7 (25:19):
Now that's fine.

Speaker 2 (25:26):
Hey have it? They haven't the people in that house?
Are they having a boosie of a party? Come on,
let's fresh. Come on, we can have a lot of fun.
But putting up of the guys? Knife WHOOPI way? Whose
else this is?

Speaker 4 (25:41):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (25:41):
I just got here myself. Hey, come here, help me
thome this can out of the window.

Speaker 5 (25:45):
Com okay, here's.

Speaker 4 (25:50):
The haven.

Speaker 2 (25:51):
Boy is just fun. Come on here, mother, slip out
the window.

Speaker 4 (25:54):
Whopy me the laugh? Happy?

Speaker 5 (26:09):
Ye?

Speaker 2 (26:10):
Did you have a lamp like that at your house?
Don't stop me at it? I'm rolling heresy, hang have it?
Come on, let's drip the pictures off the wall.

Speaker 4 (26:21):
Hey, what do you know?

Speaker 2 (26:22):
Here's a picture of me? The boy will be back

(26:43):
and cost a few seconds. False bot person. We want
you to hear that.

Speaker 4 (26:46):
Good night.

Speaker 2 (26:47):
We bring you the only commercial you'll hear this new
year's eve that is not flavored with oddline signs. This
want us to be flavored with PDQ mild stretching gasoline.
We'll forgive you your past purchases of the well other brands. No, no,
no more for me thinking, and we'll turn over a
newly a PDQ league no no doin thing, and beginning
tomorrow or maybe the day after, we expect you to

(27:09):
drive into the neighborhood PDQ service station and fill her up. No, no, no, really,
I'm quite happy fill her up with that superb power,
that traditional extra Miley, that dependable service, which have made
PDQ Gasoline and the independent service station men who sell
it the favorites of so many motorists. Oh these many years,
one knows something else. This old world would be a

(27:30):
better place if more people use PDQ gasoline. That's what. Okay, Now,
just one limp. Now, I think we're probably running a
little late tonight, so you may or may not hear.
Nineteen forty seven final thing of the Abbat and Costello Show.
Let's stick around find out. Yeah, Abbat and Costello was

(27:56):
our final ride. Well, Costello in a few hours will
be starting a new year. Nineteen forty eight, and I
want you to save your.

Speaker 8 (28:02):
Money next year.

Speaker 2 (28:03):
I will have it. I stout right now, saving on
stamp for New Year's card. I'm sending my greetings right now.
A happy New Year to everybody in including my family,
your family, Joe, Bozo, Mary Foso, Uncle Laude Stevens, Aunt
May and Uncle Mike, my mother. My Happy new Year,
everybody in that world.

Speaker 19 (28:21):
Ye, all over the world.

Speaker 2 (28:37):
Clansay. I had a good time for another great abit
in Costello Shoe, but it was in Frans Van Hollywood
by Charles Vander Beaturing, Clusan Miller and Maddam Alley Parkter.

Speaker 20 (28:44):
This is Michael Lay say goodbye.

Speaker 2 (28:46):
I'm telling this May fine next Glands say this to
ABC the American bodcast Being Governor.

Speaker 1 (28:52):
That was Abbot and Costello's New Year's Eve episode from
December thirty first, nineteen forty eight. Here is our Miss
Brooks is babysitting on New Year. From January first, nineteen fifty.

Speaker 21 (29:03):
Colgate Dental cream to clean your breath while you clean
your teeth and help stop tooth decay. And Luster Cream
shampoo for soft, glamorous, caressible hair. Bring you our Miss Brooks,
Darring Eve Arden.

Speaker 22 (29:21):
It's time once again for another comedy episode of Our
Miss Brooks, written by al Lewis Well. As some of
you may remember, last night was New Year's Eve. Like
everyone else, our Miss Brooks, who teaches English at Madison
High School, had looked forward to celebrating with considerable anticipation.
But as the poet Robert Burns put it, the best

(29:42):
laid plans of mice and men gang aft to glay.

Speaker 17 (29:46):
I don't know about the men, but I'm certainly one
of the mice Robbie had in mind, because last night
somebody really ganged up on my glay. Everything started off
normally enough Saturday morning, as I joined my l at
the breakfast table.

Speaker 23 (30:01):
Here, Connie, here's some tomato juice. He'll do you good, dear.

Speaker 17 (30:05):
What is this a down payment on tomorrow morning.

Speaker 23 (30:09):
You won't need any tomorrow, not if you come to
my party tonight.

Speaker 17 (30:13):
What kind of a party are you having, missus Davis?

Speaker 23 (30:16):
Very quiet, Connie, I've just asked some of the neighbors
in to listen to the radio and maybe dance a bit.
It'll be a nice relaxed evening. Of course, I am
having some help with the refreshments.

Speaker 17 (30:27):
Who's helping you.

Speaker 23 (30:28):
Barney, the bartender from Mulligan's saloon.

Speaker 17 (30:33):
That should lead to a very relaxed evening earlier than
you think.

Speaker 23 (30:38):
Oh, he's not going to serve any whiskey, you see.
Ever since he's been working for mister Mulligan, Barney's insistent
on having New Year's Eve off. Why is that he
can't stand drunks. Bonnie likes nothing better than to drop
over here and make us a little friendly bowl of punch.
If I remember correctly, Connie, you samples, I'm a Bonnie's punch.

Speaker 17 (31:01):
Last year, I almost did, Missus Davis. Somebody jostled me
as I was about to drink some and I spilled
it on my black evening gown.

Speaker 23 (31:08):
I don't remember that at all, Connie, I do.

Speaker 17 (31:11):
It started a run in my dress.

Speaker 23 (31:14):
Oh, you're exaggerating, deer. It was a very mild mixture.
Why we even dip lady fingers into the punch bowl
after a while, I know, And a.

Speaker 17 (31:23):
Little while after that, the lady fingers were diving into
the bowl. Oh, I'm just teasing you, Missus Davis. I'd
like nothing better than to share a little punch with
you tonight, But I probably have a date with mister Boynton.

Speaker 23 (31:36):
Probably hasn't he asked you yet? Connie.

Speaker 17 (31:39):
Oh, you know, mister Boynton, it takes him a week
to get enough courage to speak up. You'd think he'd
know where he stands by now. I dropped him enough hints,
Heaven knows hints. Just yesterday I told him I thought
there was nothing quite as exciting as the scent of
an orchid and the popping of champagne corks.

Speaker 23 (31:56):
Do you think it'll work, Connie?

Speaker 17 (31:57):
Indubitably, Missus Davis probably take me into a florist's shop
and let me smell an orchid while he cracks his knuckles.

Speaker 23 (32:09):
Mister Boynton isn't the biggest spender in the world, is he, Connie?

Speaker 17 (32:12):
No, I think there's a maharaja in India who spends
eight or nine dollars a week more. After all, mister
Boynton is a school teacher and he probably just can't.
Now who can that be?

Speaker 23 (32:23):
Come on in, it's not locked finished with your cereal? Connie?

Speaker 17 (32:28):
Yes, thanks, good.

Speaker 12 (32:29):
Morning, miss Brooks, Missus Davis, hello.

Speaker 17 (32:31):
Mister Boynton.

Speaker 23 (32:32):
Now isn't that the coincidence? Mister Boynton? I'm just going
to clear away the table and clear.

Speaker 12 (32:36):
Out what's coincidental about that.

Speaker 17 (32:39):
Now she's got a good reason.

Speaker 23 (32:40):
To exactly see you later.

Speaker 17 (32:44):
Folks, take your time, dear well, mister Boynton, this is
rather a surprise visit.

Speaker 12 (32:50):
Well, yes, miss Brooks, I guess it is.

Speaker 17 (32:53):
Won a cup of coffee all right, keeps pretty hot
in this percolator.

Speaker 12 (32:58):
There you are, Thank you?

Speaker 7 (33:01):
No, that was fun. What do we do now?

Speaker 12 (33:08):
Well, tonight, as you know, is New Year's Eve, Miss Brooks. Yes,
I know, it's the one night in the year I
believe in celebrating. You see, the only fun a bachelor
can have, especially a bachelor school teacher, is to really
let go once in a while.

Speaker 17 (33:21):
Might also be fun to hold on once in a while.
Don't look so shocked. I'll withdraw the statement. Strike that
from the record, clerk.

Speaker 12 (33:31):
The one thing I'm so grateful for, Miss Brooks, is
that our relationship has always been completely honest and above board.
I can talk to you straight from the shoulder.

Speaker 17 (33:39):
You certainly can, mister boy I.

Speaker 12 (33:41):
Don't have to beat around the bush.

Speaker 17 (33:42):
No you don't.

Speaker 12 (33:44):
I can come right to the point without starling.

Speaker 17 (33:46):
I hear you talking.

Speaker 12 (33:49):
I don't have to mask my real intentions with a
lot of pseudo diplomacy.

Speaker 17 (33:53):
Never know pseudo diplomacy.

Speaker 12 (33:55):
Well, what I'm trying to say, Miss Brooks, is that well,
several weeks ago, I promised to attend the Biologists Club
New Year's Eve party at the Club jamboree tonight.

Speaker 17 (34:04):
Oh that sounds like a lot of fun, mister Boynton.

Speaker 12 (34:06):
I'm sure it will be. But the ticket cost five dollars,
Miss Brooks, and well I only had enough for the
one when I bought it, and we well, since then,
I've had some unexpected holiday expenses and just haven't been
able to afford another one. Of course, I'd love to
ask you to join me tonight, but I couldn't very
well invite you to pay for your own ticket, could I?

Speaker 17 (34:25):
You could, but I couldn't pay for it. I mean,
I've had some holiday expenses of my own, mister Boyton,
two whole weeks of eating.

Speaker 12 (34:36):
I'm terribly, terribly sorry it won't be together, Miss Brooks.
As a matter of fact, I suspected you were just
as brook as I am. That's why I came over
to see you.

Speaker 17 (34:45):
Now, what do you mean, mister Bourton?

Speaker 12 (34:48):
Happy New Year, Miss Brooks.

Speaker 17 (34:51):
The same to you, mister Boynton, and thank you for
a lovely morning.

Speaker 12 (34:56):
That's all right, miss Brooks.

Speaker 17 (34:57):
Now, let's sing two choruses of all langs eye and
this will be the earliest I've ever folded.

Speaker 7 (35:02):
On New Year's.

Speaker 12 (35:06):
Please don't be annoyed, miss Brooks. I'll be thinking about
you tonight from the minute I sit down in that
night club and pick up my noise maker.

Speaker 17 (35:13):
Well, thanks, mister Barr. I'll be thinking of you too tonight.
As soon as I sit down by the window and
blow my tin horn.

Speaker 12 (35:22):
I guess I better be running along now, get cleaned
up for the big night.

Speaker 17 (35:25):
Yes, you do that, mister Barran. I've got to help
missus Davis with the dishes. Forgive me if I don't
chase you, walk you to the door.

Speaker 12 (35:32):
Certainly, well see you next year.

Speaker 17 (35:35):
Like they say, don't take any wooden biologists. Now that's
just dandy.

Speaker 23 (35:41):
What's just dandy, Connie? Oh, mad mister Boynton, go home
to rest. Oh, we've got a big night ahead of
the thing.

Speaker 17 (35:50):
We've got a big night ahead of him. Mister Boynton
is going to the biologist's party alone, Missus Davis alone.

Speaker 23 (35:56):
But why, Connie, we.

Speaker 17 (35:58):
Just can't afford to take me with him. The tickets
are five dollars a copy. If I had five dollars,
I could, Missus Davis.

Speaker 23 (36:06):
I'd be happy to Connie. You will, of course, but
I haven't got a quarter. I spent my entire budget
for this week on tonight's party.

Speaker 17 (36:14):
Oh well, thanks, just the same, Missus Davis. No sense
in worrying about it. I guess New Year's Eve is
just another night.

Speaker 23 (36:22):
Maybe that's mister Boynton again. I'll finish up in the kitchen, Connie,
come on in.

Speaker 17 (36:27):
The door is still open.

Speaker 12 (36:29):
Ah, good morning, miss Brooks.

Speaker 17 (36:31):
Mister Conklin, what fortuitous circumstance brings Madison's esteemed principle to
the umvel abode of a lowly faculty member. You've seen
your share of Charlie Chan movies, haven't you.

Speaker 24 (36:49):
If you'll forgive me, Miss Brooks, I shall skirt the
preliminaries and get right to the point. Firstly, missus Conklin
is visiting her sister, who has a touch of rheumatism
in Philadelphia.

Speaker 17 (36:59):
That's a bad place to get it.

Speaker 24 (37:06):
Let's dispense with the flipperies she we Secondly, her sister
has sent their little boy, aged six, to spend the
holidays with my daughter Harriet and myself. Thirdly, I have
promised Harriet she can go to a New Year's Eve
party tonight. And fourthly, I have a dinner engagement with
some old professor friends of mine from State.

Speaker 25 (37:25):
Normal days.

Speaker 17 (37:26):
But I don't understand, mister Conklan, on.

Speaker 24 (37:28):
This late date, it is almost impossible to secure a
baby sitter, Miss Brooks.

Speaker 17 (37:33):
Now, I understand. I'm sorry, mister Conklan, but I've been
sitting with children for years now. I'm afraid I'm going
to be busy tonight.

Speaker 12 (37:41):
Ah, what a pity.

Speaker 24 (37:42):
It would only be until ten o'clock, and I was
contemplating payment of say five dollars.

Speaker 17 (37:48):
I'd like to help you, mister Conklan, but it's really
out of the question for me. Did you say five dollars?

Speaker 26 (37:55):
That is correct?

Speaker 17 (37:56):
Where and when?

Speaker 24 (37:58):
Seven point thirty, my host, I'll be there, mister Conklin.
Thank you, Miss Brooks, thank you very much. Don't bother
seeing me to the door.

Speaker 17 (38:03):
I know the way, Thank you, mister Conklin, Thank you
very much. Yes, indeed, Missus Davis, Missus Davis, Yes, dear,
what is it? Well, it's going to be a happy
New Year. After all, I'm going to sit with mister
Conklin's nephew until ten o'clock and he's going to give
me five dollars.

Speaker 23 (38:20):
He must be quite a well to do little boy.

Speaker 17 (38:29):
Mister Conklin's going to give me the five, don't you see,
Missus Davis. Now I can buy my own ticket to
the Club Jamboree and see the old Year out with
mister Boynton.

Speaker 23 (38:37):
After all, How nice for you, Kennie.

Speaker 17 (38:40):
Oh, just one thing, Missus Davis. On our way to
the club, may I stop by here to pick up
some lady fingers?

Speaker 23 (38:45):
But doesn't the five dollars you pay include a midnight supper?

Speaker 17 (38:49):
Connie, Yes it does, Missus Davis.

Speaker 23 (38:50):
And what the world do you want with ladyfingers?

Speaker 17 (38:53):
We've got to have something to slip the waiter.

Speaker 22 (39:07):
Artok starring Eve Arden, will continue in just a moment,
But first, here is Verne Smith now proof that brushing
teeth right after eating with Colgate dental cream helped stop
tooth decay before its darts. Continuous research hundreds of case
histories makes this the most conclusive proof and all Datipris research.

Speaker 12 (39:26):
On tooth decay.

Speaker 21 (39:27):
Eminent dental authorities who provised hundreds of college men and
women for over two years. One group always brushed their
teeth with coalgates right after eating. The other followed their
usual dental care.

Speaker 22 (39:38):
The group using Coalgate dental cream as directed using coalgates
exclusively showed a startling reduction and average number of cavities
far less tooth decay. The other group developed new cavities
at a much higher rate. No other dataprice offers proof
of these results. Modern research shows decay is caused by
mouth acids, which are at their worst right after eating.

(40:00):
Brushing teeth with coalgates as directed helps remove acids before
they harm Enammel. Yes, coalgates contains all unnecessary ingredients, including
an exclusive patented ingredient for effective daily dental care. So
remember always use Coalgate dental cream to clean your breath
while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay.

Speaker 27 (40:28):
Well.

Speaker 17 (40:28):
I phoned mister Boynton and asked him to meet me
at mister Conklin's home at ten that evening. At nine
p thirty, I was still trying to get little Stevie
into bed. Now, listen, Stevie, it's getting awfully late. Just
when do you propose to go to sleep as soon
as I get another glass of water. But I've given
you three glasses of water in the last half hour.
What do you do with them? I trank to and

(40:49):
gave one of my animals.

Speaker 28 (40:51):
See, I go as could want me these choys for Christmas.

Speaker 17 (40:54):
They're very nice. Now get into bed. Please.

Speaker 29 (40:56):
We'll first tuck my line in the bed.

Speaker 17 (40:58):
All right there, Your lion's in bed.

Speaker 30 (41:02):
Now my tiger.

Speaker 17 (41:03):
Okay, your tiger's in. I'll put my black panther in right.
The black panthers tucked in. Now, I'll just tuck Stevie.
Why aren't you getting into the bed? Do you think
I am Clyde Beattie? I wish I had a book
on child psychology with me, a nice heavy one. Come

(41:27):
on now, shove that menagerie aside and get in.

Speaker 7 (41:29):
Okay, Hello, is that you Harriet?

Speaker 17 (41:35):
Your daughter's dressing for her date, mister Conklin. But thanks
for the comparison.

Speaker 31 (41:39):
On the phone. All voices sound alike to me.

Speaker 25 (41:43):
How's my nephew, Miss Brooks?

Speaker 17 (41:45):
Fine, mister Conklin, he's in his zoo, I mean in bed?

Speaker 7 (41:49):
Good? Good?

Speaker 24 (41:51):
Has the dear little fellow floated off to dreamland yet not.

Speaker 17 (41:54):
Quite, but one more glass of water should do it. Uh,
there hasn't been any change in plan, has there, mister conqlic.

Speaker 25 (42:06):
Oh, I know, Miss Brooke.

Speaker 17 (42:07):
Then I can expect you in about half an hour.

Speaker 7 (42:10):
I'm afraid it'll be considerably longer than a half hour,
Miss Brooks. I'm staying over with some friends.

Speaker 17 (42:15):
But you said you'd be back at ten.

Speaker 12 (42:17):
That's right, I'll be back at ten am.

Speaker 17 (42:19):
Oh but mister Conkle all.

Speaker 25 (42:21):
Play nice of you to do this for me, Miss Brooks.

Speaker 17 (42:23):
Good night, and I have a new here to you.

Speaker 29 (42:25):
Oh this is terrible, Harriet, Oh, Harriet, Yes, Miss Brooks.

Speaker 17 (42:30):
Your dad just called and told me he won't be
home until tomorrow morning.

Speaker 29 (42:33):
I know he's staying with some old friends of his.
From normal.

Speaker 17 (42:36):
There's nothing normal about it, and I agreed to act
as Stevie Sitter. I thought your father would be back
at ten tonight. I have a date at that time
with mister Boynton.

Speaker 29 (42:45):
Oh that's a shame, Miss brook Maybe.

Speaker 17 (42:47):
I could call your dad back so we could make
some other arrangement. Do you know where these friends of
his live?

Speaker 5 (42:52):
No?

Speaker 32 (42:52):
I don't, but don't get panicky. We'll think of something
as soon as I finished dressing. That must be Walter Darton.

Speaker 29 (42:59):
Will you let him in? I'll just be second finishing up.

Speaker 17 (43:01):
All right, Harriet, coming, miss Brooks and lass of water?
Quiet Stevie, darn kid it worn for him? Take it easy,
I'm coming, hey.

Speaker 28 (43:16):
Happy, Happy New Year, Miss Brooks.

Speaker 7 (43:28):
Come in, Walter.

Speaker 28 (43:30):
Isn't it a wonderful night to see the old year
out on? Aren't you just in love with tonight?

Speaker 23 (43:34):
Miss Brooks?

Speaker 17 (43:35):
I'm crazy about it? Harry will be ready in a
few minutes, Walter.

Speaker 28 (43:40):
Dear Harriet, you know that's what I like best about
this holiday, the feeling of closeness. It gives you to
the one you care for, especially during that one breathless,
rapturous moment right before midnight, That moment, like the hush
of a giant wave, Eric pounds mightily upon the golden
sands that tongue. This moment I promised ecstasy, culminating in

(44:03):
a crescendo of clamorous Samaris Fliss, have you.

Speaker 17 (44:10):
Ever been hit with a six year old child?

Speaker 14 (44:16):
Missus Brooks?

Speaker 28 (44:17):
You don't seem very happy about New Years?

Speaker 29 (44:20):
Haven't you got a date with mister Boyton?

Speaker 17 (44:21):
That's just the trouble, Walder, I have, but I also
have a date to sit here with mister Conklin's nephew
Stevie until uncle returns in the morning. It was all
a misunderstanding, mostly on my part.

Speaker 28 (44:33):
She that's a tough break, Miss Brooks.

Speaker 29 (44:35):
Isn't there any way out for you?

Speaker 5 (44:37):
I I know.

Speaker 28 (44:39):
Maybe you could hire a babysitter to sit in your place.
Of course, it couldn't be just any ordinary person. It
would have to be a very special kind of sitter
to fill your shoes.

Speaker 17 (44:49):
You never were great in anatomy, were you, Walder? But
that wouldn't work either, even if I had the money,
which I haven't. It's too late to get anybody now. Well,
here I am, Walter.

Speaker 29 (45:00):
How do I look?

Speaker 18 (45:01):
Devastating, Harriet?

Speaker 28 (45:03):
Absolutely soul destroying?

Speaker 29 (45:05):
How do you think I look, Miss Brooks?

Speaker 17 (45:07):
Very atomic?

Speaker 18 (45:08):
Harriet?

Speaker 17 (45:09):
You should be the center of all eyes at your party.

Speaker 29 (45:12):
Gee, I kind of hate to go with you in
this spot. Miss Brooks. Did you tell Walter about your dilemma?

Speaker 17 (45:17):
Yeah, she did, Harriet. But we can't seem to think
of any way out. Oh don't worry about me, kids,
I'll just celebrate New Year's Eve some other night.

Speaker 32 (45:25):
Maybe when mister Boynton comes to pick you up, you
could talk him into staying here with you instead of going.

Speaker 28 (45:29):
To his old biologist club party. Yeah, there's a swell
phonograph and some keen records you could dance to.

Speaker 17 (45:35):
Maybe I'll do that. In fact, I may do that
even if mister Boynton doesn't stay.

Speaker 30 (45:39):
Rooks someone a class of water.

Speaker 17 (45:41):
Excuse me, kids, I guess I didn't tuck him in
tight enough.

Speaker 13 (45:44):
I'll be right there.

Speaker 17 (45:45):
Stevie. You run along to your party and have a
good time.

Speaker 29 (45:49):
You're certainly noble, miss Brooks.

Speaker 17 (45:51):
I'm not noble. I'm stuck. Go ahead now, it's almost
ten o'clock. Noble, are stuck your solid, miss Brooks Walter.
Maybe mister Boynton will notice it and stick around.

Speaker 32 (46:02):
Awhile me too, have the best possible New Year's under
the circumstances, Miss brook I'll.

Speaker 17 (46:10):
Do my best.

Speaker 29 (46:11):
So long, kid, cousin Harriet, go out with water Danton.

Speaker 17 (46:17):
Yes, Stevie, she did.

Speaker 29 (46:18):
He's an idiot.

Speaker 17 (46:22):
He's very fond of you too.

Speaker 25 (46:25):
Here's your water.

Speaker 5 (46:27):
He could.

Speaker 23 (46:27):
I also have an ice cream cone.

Speaker 17 (46:29):
No, Stevie, no ice cream cones at this hour with
a pickle that's different. You've got to have your vitamins.

Speaker 27 (46:37):
You know.

Speaker 17 (46:38):
I'm just cooling. You've beaten quite enough for one night.
Are there any pickles in the house. No, but i'd
gladly let you have the one i'm in.

Speaker 29 (46:46):
Well, here's my glass.

Speaker 23 (46:47):
He better leave it near the picture.

Speaker 17 (46:49):
I might get hungry again Thursday. Oh that's mister Boynton.
Now you put your little head down and dream you're
a battleship.

Speaker 18 (46:56):
Okay, night, miss.

Speaker 17 (46:58):
Brook Good night, Stevie. I'll be right right there. Oh
come in, mister Boynton. My but you look handsome tonight.

Speaker 12 (47:06):
Oh thanks, Miss Brooks. He looked quite handsome yourself. I'm
glad to see your already. I'm just raring to go.

Speaker 17 (47:12):
Well, unrare yourself, mister. I'm afraid I can't go with
you tonight.

Speaker 12 (47:18):
But you sat on the phone and mister Cockle will
be back.

Speaker 17 (47:20):
Yes that was before he called me again. He won't
be here until tomorrow morning. I can't leave Stevie alone.
So I've been thinking, mister Boynton, we could have quite
a nice time right here tonight. Here, you and me
and the phonograph. There are some fine records stacked over
there by the sofa.

Speaker 12 (47:37):
But miss Brooks, we have no chaperone.

Speaker 17 (47:38):
Who has no chaperone? I'm here.

Speaker 12 (47:43):
I'm sorry, Miss Brooks. I've already paid for my ticket,
and the other members of the club expect me at
the club jamboree. In fact, I promised i'd be there
by ten thirty.

Speaker 17 (47:51):
Well it's only ten now. You could stay for a
little while here, sit down on the couch, mister Boynton.

Speaker 12 (47:57):
Well, I guess I could stay for about ten minutes.

Speaker 17 (48:00):
Fine, we'll have a million laughs. Do you like records,
mister barn Oh, yes, I do.

Speaker 31 (48:08):
Say.

Speaker 12 (48:08):
Here's quite a pile of them. Let's see what some
of the titles are.

Speaker 17 (48:11):
That should be fun. Here's a batch for you. I'll
go through these.

Speaker 12 (48:16):
Uh don't you think you're sitting rather close to me,
Miss Brooks.

Speaker 17 (48:21):
I know I'm sitting close to you.

Speaker 12 (48:23):
Mister Barton, Well, I mean I'm a little off balance.
I don't want to break any records.

Speaker 17 (48:28):
Don't worry you.

Speaker 13 (48:29):
Won't you say?

Speaker 17 (48:37):
Here's a great old number. If I could be with
you one hour tonight.

Speaker 12 (48:42):
I'm a lone cow hand.

Speaker 18 (48:46):
Baby.

Speaker 17 (48:47):
It's cold outside.

Speaker 12 (48:49):
Don't fence me in.

Speaker 17 (48:53):
I'm in the mood for love.

Speaker 12 (48:54):
It's too late now I can dream, can all right?
Louie dropped the gun.

Speaker 17 (49:07):
Everything I have is yours.

Speaker 12 (49:09):
I got plenty of nothing.

Speaker 17 (49:18):
Drink to me only with thine eyes.

Speaker 18 (49:20):
I want to flash of water.

Speaker 17 (49:25):
Quiet, Stevie, you've had all the water you're going to get. Now,
go to sleep.

Speaker 14 (49:28):
Okay, Okay, I'll get.

Speaker 12 (49:34):
Maybe maybe you should let him have it, Miss Brooks,
I'd love.

Speaker 17 (49:37):
To let him have it. He's had quite enough. Mister Barnhew.

Speaker 12 (49:41):
Oh say, here's a beautiful number, the bells of Saint Mary's.

Speaker 17 (49:45):
Oh that is beautiful. Excuse me, mister Barnhem.

Speaker 12 (49:50):
Before you answer it, Miss Brooks, I'd like you to
know I've changed my mind. I just can't stand the
thought of you spending New Year's Evil on so well,
I'll call my friends and tell him not to expect me.
That is, if you still want me to stay here
with you.

Speaker 17 (50:02):
If I still want to, mister Boyton, don't move from
that spot. Be right there. If I still wandered, me said, Hi's.

Speaker 29 (50:10):
Just miss Brooks, we just couldn't stand upont of you
spending New Year's Eve alone. Come on in, Walter.

Speaker 17 (50:15):
Oh, but what about your friend's party? Harriet we told
them we weren't coming, Miss Brooks.

Speaker 29 (50:20):
Walter and I've decided to spend New Year's Eve right
here with you with me.

Speaker 17 (50:24):
But mister Boyton's here, Hello, Harriet, what how are you
both fine? Thanks?

Speaker 7 (50:28):
Mister Boynton.

Speaker 28 (50:30):
We came back to help Miss Brooks celebrate the new year.

Speaker 12 (50:32):
Well good, the more the merry I'm staying here too, wonderful.

Speaker 29 (50:36):
We'll have our own party, the four of us. Won't
that be just the end, Miss.

Speaker 17 (50:40):
Brooks, It'll be the end of something.

Speaker 7 (50:56):
Well.

Speaker 29 (50:57):
I've certainly had a good time so far, thinking coach
and playing records.

Speaker 12 (51:01):
Boy, it has been rather exciting at that, don't you
think so, Miss Brooks?

Speaker 17 (51:04):
Thrilling, I can hardly wait until midnight?

Speaker 29 (51:08):
What are you gonna do?

Speaker 5 (51:09):
Then?

Speaker 17 (51:10):
I'm gonna crack open a brand new bottle of sweet
air and spray the kitchen.

Speaker 29 (51:16):
It's almost midnight now, Gee, I wish.

Speaker 18 (51:18):
Daddy were here.

Speaker 17 (51:20):
That would be all I need.

Speaker 12 (51:22):
Turn the radio on Wald the Club Jamboree is broadcasting
the New Year's Eve party.

Speaker 29 (51:26):
Oh okay, mister Boynton, Poor daddy's missing all the fun.

Speaker 32 (51:29):
He and those old professors of his probably played a
few games of chess and went to bed about eleven thirty.

Speaker 12 (51:34):
Well perhaps he's for the best, Harriet. Your father's a
very high strung man. Too much noise isn't good for him.

Speaker 7 (51:40):
I got the station.

Speaker 33 (51:42):
Well it's two minutes to midnight, folks, and here to
give you the signal of the stroke of twelve is
one of our most distinguished citizens and an odd guest
of Club Jamboree.

Speaker 20 (51:50):
Here he is your friend and mine.

Speaker 33 (51:53):
Happy, go lucky, tag a minute us, good.

Speaker 24 (51:56):
Contling, good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and thank you for
that charming in the introduction, Professor Young.

Speaker 17 (52:06):
That's him all right.

Speaker 24 (52:07):
I have just time before the old year is dead
to tell you, lovely people, that a funny thing happened
to me. On my way to the club tonight. A
panhandler stopped me outside the door and said, mister, I
haven't had a bite all week, so I bid him.

Speaker 17 (52:32):
Oh great. Madison's next principal will probably be Milton Burl.

Speaker 24 (52:39):
Now, when I give you the signal, let's get those
noise makers going and really let a rip.

Speaker 25 (52:44):
There are only five seconds to go for.

Speaker 27 (52:49):
We two.

Speaker 7 (52:52):
One.

Speaker 29 (53:15):
I can't understand what got into Daddy tonight.

Speaker 17 (53:17):
Maybe it was some of missus Davis's fruit punch.

Speaker 28 (53:21):
Oh gosh, Harry, your dad's entitled to have a little
fun once in a while, After all.

Speaker 18 (53:25):
People are only human.

Speaker 29 (53:27):
Well, it is New Year's Eve, it sure is. And
it's midnight too, Harriet. You know what that means. I
guess the water. Well, come on, I'm all puckered.

Speaker 18 (53:47):
Well here it goes, Harriet.

Speaker 17 (53:51):
Mister Boyton, do you see the work that's going on
in the next yard?

Speaker 12 (53:56):
Yes, I do, Miss Brooks. Although I must admit I'm
a the diffident person most of the time, I feel
that this being New Year's Eve, I can take a
certain liberty.

Speaker 17 (54:05):
Liberty you can take shore leave.

Speaker 12 (54:13):
I'm ready if you are.

Speaker 17 (54:15):
I'm puckered, mister Boynton. Well that's done it, if you'll
forgive me, mister Boynton, I'm going to pour three glasses
of water.

Speaker 12 (54:25):
Three, But who are the extra two?

Speaker 7 (54:26):
For you and me?

Speaker 17 (54:28):
We might as well be loaded, is the way we are.

Speaker 25 (54:45):
Eve Arden returns in just a moment.

Speaker 34 (54:47):
But first, dream Girl, dream Girl, beautiful.

Speaker 12 (54:53):
Luster Cream.

Speaker 21 (54:56):
Tonight, Yes, tonight, show him how much lovely are your
hair can look after a luster Cream shampoo. Luster Cream,
World's finest shampoo. No other shampoo in the world gives
Ka Duman's magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle aneline,
not a soap, not a liquid. Luster cream shampoo leaves
hair three ways lovelier, fragrantly clean, free of loose dandruff,

(55:20):
glistening with sheen, soft, manageable even in hardest water. Luster
cream lathers instantly. No special rints needed after a luster
cream shampoo, so gentle luster cream is wonderful even for
children's hair. Tonight, Yes, tonight, try Luster cream shampoo.

Speaker 34 (55:40):
Dream Girl, Dream Girl, Beautiful Luster Cream Girl. You owe
your crowning glory too, a luster cream shampoo.

Speaker 22 (55:58):
Ladies and gentlemen. We take pride in announcing that the
poll of newspaper and magazine radio editors taken by Motion
Picture Daily for Fame Magazine showed that Eve Arden was
voted the best radio comedian in nineteen forty nine.

Speaker 17 (56:23):
Thank you, my sincere thanks to the radio editors, Motion
Picture Daily and Fame Magazine, and to every school teacher
and pupil as well as their parents and friends. Are
very happy New Year, Good night.

Speaker 35 (56:44):
Next week shut into another hour, Miss Brookshaw.

Speaker 21 (56:47):
Brought to you by Luster Cream Shampoo for soft glamorous,
caressible hair and Colgate Dental cream to clean your breath
while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay.

Speaker 22 (56:56):
Our Miss Brooks, starring Eve Arden, is produced by Larry Byrne,
directed by Al Lewis, with music by wilbra Hatch That
Mister Boynton is played by Jeff Chandler, Mister Conkland by
Gail Gordon. Others in to Night's cast were Jane Morgan,
Dick Crennag, Gloria mcmilland and Jeff Silver. Be beauty Wise,

(57:19):
get bath sized Palmlly soap for beauty care all over. Yes,
for your tubber shower, enjoy the same glorious beauty land
that millions of women have found so wonderful in bringing
lovelier complexions in just fourteen days, simply.

Speaker 36 (57:33):
By the big, thrifty, long lasting bath size Pomalid. Use
it for your pomeliv soap facials. Enjoy its oceans of
creamy beautifying lather in your tubber shower and say men
love it too, so let the whole family enjoy bath
size pomoliin.

Speaker 21 (57:48):
Yes, be beauty wise, get bathsize Palmolly soap today.

Speaker 22 (57:58):
Or mystery liberally sprinkled lass. Listen to mister and Missus North,
the exciting fun pact adventures of an amateur detective and
his beautiful wife. Tune and Tuesday Evening over most of
these same stations, and be with us again next week
at the same time, or another comedy episode of.

Speaker 21 (58:13):
Our Miss Brooks bob Leaman speaking.

Speaker 20 (58:17):
It's the CBS the Blundie.

Speaker 1 (58:19):
Broadcasting that was our Miss Brooks's babysitting on New Year's
Eve from January first, nineteen fifty. This Harold Piries Barn
Dance is broadcast on December twenty seventh, nineteen fifty.

Speaker 7 (58:43):
The Harold Perry Show.

Speaker 16 (58:58):
And now.

Speaker 20 (59:00):
Harold Perry as Honest Harold the Homemaker.

Speaker 37 (59:14):
Well, let's look in on the little town of Melroe
Springs this christ December evening. Honest Harold, like the rest
of us, is in that pleasantly dazed holiday condition. He
is just recovering from Christmas in time to build up
his strength for New Year's Right now, he's betting goodnight
to his new romance, the lovely Theodora.

Speaker 14 (59:33):
Oh, this has been a wonderful week, haroldy Weraldy.

Speaker 5 (59:36):
Sure, as Theodora, I've seen you every night. I just
love the holiday season, don't you. Yeah, I'll never forget
Christmas Eve when I gave you that wristwatch, you threw
yourself in my arms and kissed me. Remember do I
let's try that again, shall we?

Speaker 7 (59:54):
But Harold, how could we ever recount to that special
moment Christmas?

Speaker 5 (01:00:01):
Well, you've sing jingle bells and I'll start ticking.

Speaker 31 (01:00:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:00:07):
Oh well, I guess I can wait. Tomorrow night's New
Year's Eve, and you know what happens at twelve o'clock
all ang zion is kissing time, Harold.

Speaker 18 (01:00:18):
Yeah, you haven't told me where we're going new yeasy.

Speaker 5 (01:00:23):
I want to wait and surprise you. I won't tell
you the Lamara all right, teddy bear? Theodora? Yeah, how
about a.

Speaker 14 (01:00:36):
Little kiss now, Harold?

Speaker 5 (01:00:39):
You'd have to wait till New Year's Eve, isn't it strange? Theodora?
New Year's Eve comes at different times all over the world.
Why right now? Probably it's New Year's Eve and Honolulu
it is. Yeah, pucker up, Theodora, Harold. Yakahu la doulah.

Speaker 23 (01:01:16):
Harold, you're not eating your breakfast.

Speaker 5 (01:01:19):
Huh, my mother, I was just thinking about New Year's
Eve party night and what a good time Theodora and
I are going to have.

Speaker 23 (01:01:25):
Oh, I think it's nice the way you and your
old friends get together and have a party every New
Year's Eve.

Speaker 5 (01:01:31):
Yeah, they can have their big city, swanky affairs. I
bet we have a lot more fun right here in
Melroe Springs at our New Year's barn dance.

Speaker 23 (01:01:38):
Yes, we love the dear hearts and gentle people that
live in our hometown.

Speaker 5 (01:01:43):
That's right, mother. We may have cider instead of champagne
and play corny games like pin the tail on the donkey,
but it's fun.

Speaker 23 (01:01:50):
Oh remember last year's party when doctor Yancey was trying
to pin the tail on the donkey and he jabbed
the pin in one of the kids.

Speaker 5 (01:01:58):
Yeah, that was me. That's when I was bobbing for apples.

Speaker 23 (01:02:04):
Mother, I suppose Theodora thinks of barn dances quite a novelty.

Speaker 5 (01:02:12):
Well, I'm told you yet, I thought i'd surprise her.

Speaker 23 (01:02:15):
Oh, Harold, don't you think you should tell her? She
might expect something fancy er? You know, she's from Kansas City.

Speaker 5 (01:02:25):
She love it, Mother, Will I think say? I told
Doc and Pete i'd help him decorate the barn this morning.
I better get over there.

Speaker 23 (01:02:31):
You want to drop by Theodora's and let her know
what she's supposed to wear tonight?

Speaker 31 (01:02:35):
Where.

Speaker 5 (01:02:35):
Oh, I'll see you later, mother, I'll tell her to
wear a Gingham dress. She looked like Daisy May. I'll
be your little abner.

Speaker 23 (01:02:44):
Shall I pass the kickapool? Joyed you son?

Speaker 5 (01:02:48):
What?

Speaker 27 (01:02:50):
Mother?

Speaker 5 (01:02:52):
Brother? See you later? Yeah, Doc and peachould be out
here in the barn.

Speaker 7 (01:03:10):
Hello, Doc, old friend?

Speaker 18 (01:03:12):
Oh, hello Hair?

Speaker 8 (01:03:15):
Where's Pete?

Speaker 5 (01:03:16):
Oh he's downtown getting the bundy, the bunting. Oh say
the barn starting to look fine? Doc, he must have
done a lot of work this morning. Oh, not too much.

Speaker 38 (01:03:23):
All I did was tack up the streamers, make the
sign okay, Doc, mixed the potato salad by the side. Yeah,
that's great, slice the hot dog, rolls, tomb the musical chairs.

Speaker 31 (01:03:35):
Yes.

Speaker 5 (01:03:36):
Well, I bet we're gonna have a lot of fun tonight,
and Theodora just gonna love it. Apple bobbing, square dancing,
sack racing. I just think maybe the two of us
will be in the same sack. I didn't know you cared, Harold,
not you Doc, Theodora?

Speaker 7 (01:03:54):
Oh happy nineteen fifty one?

Speaker 5 (01:04:00):
Well, hello, Pete, oldpal, did you bring the bunting?

Speaker 31 (01:04:02):
Bunting?

Speaker 12 (01:04:03):
Oh?

Speaker 7 (01:04:04):
Oh, shaw, I knew I forgot something. Oh Pete, well
I've been busy.

Speaker 5 (01:04:09):
Boy, don't forget.

Speaker 39 (01:04:10):
I'm chairman of the door prize committee.

Speaker 5 (01:04:12):
Did you get some good prizes, Pete?

Speaker 25 (01:04:14):
I sure did.

Speaker 39 (01:04:15):
I got the Elks to donate the grand prize, a free,
all expense paid ninety day vacation to Charlieville.

Speaker 5 (01:04:23):
A ninety day vacation. If that cost him a lot
of money.

Speaker 39 (01:04:28):
It's just a round trip bus ticket. You can return
any time within ninety day.

Speaker 5 (01:04:35):
Very funny, Pete. We've got to get this barn decorated.
Why don't you run down now and get that bunting?

Speaker 7 (01:04:39):
Hell right? Oh, Harold, before I go, maybe you'd like
to hear doc and ne rehearse, rehearse. Oh, I forgot
to tell you, Harold.

Speaker 38 (01:04:47):
Pete and I are going to perform a little New
Year's pageant at the party tonight.

Speaker 5 (01:04:50):
A pageant.

Speaker 23 (01:04:51):
Yes, I'm going to be father Time and Pete will
be the baby New Year.

Speaker 5 (01:04:56):
Oh my goodness, baby New Year.

Speaker 7 (01:04:58):
Yeah, I I'm out dressed in a ribbon.

Speaker 40 (01:05:04):
Loose fellows, how about decorating the bars at the stroke
of midnight.

Speaker 5 (01:05:08):
I come out as father time at the real character part, and.

Speaker 38 (01:05:11):
I say, well, another three hundred and sixty five days
have gone by. That makes you another year?

Speaker 4 (01:05:17):
No kidding, jo ring out the old and ringing the news,
ringing the news.

Speaker 7 (01:05:23):
Okay, p oh.

Speaker 12 (01:05:30):
Oh what was that?

Speaker 7 (01:05:31):
Oh? Tis baby New Year?

Speaker 5 (01:05:37):
Sounds like the noon whistle at the mattress factory.

Speaker 13 (01:05:42):
Everyone.

Speaker 18 (01:05:42):
I am baby new Year.

Speaker 13 (01:05:45):
I was just born.

Speaker 5 (01:05:47):
Goo goo goo, goodbye. I'll see you public later that pete.

Speaker 3 (01:06:06):
Year.

Speaker 5 (01:06:07):
Horrible actors, but nice fellas though we're gonna have a
swell time tonight, just a moment, I'll connect you. Oh,
good morning, Glory, Good morning, Harold. He's our dear boss,
Stanley Peabody.

Speaker 7 (01:06:22):
In yes he is.

Speaker 5 (01:06:24):
Thought maybe i'd ask him to our barn dance tonight.
He's an old prissy pants.

Speaker 22 (01:06:28):
But what the heck?

Speaker 5 (01:06:29):
It's New Year's because.

Speaker 14 (01:06:31):
Raymond and I are going to a pride night at
my girlfriends.

Speaker 5 (01:06:34):
Oh that's nice.

Speaker 18 (01:06:35):
She goes to the fella in the navy.

Speaker 29 (01:06:37):
He's a chief petting officer.

Speaker 5 (01:06:42):
Laurie, you got that wrong. He's not a petty officer.

Speaker 29 (01:06:45):
Well, according to my girlfriend he is. And Harold, if
you want to, you can use that joke on your
radio program. There's no charge.

Speaker 5 (01:06:55):
There's no joke either. Glory. Everybody's a comic gerround here
see if Stanley wants.

Speaker 7 (01:07:05):
To go to the party, come here.

Speaker 5 (01:07:09):
Oh hello, Hamp, Happy new Year, Stanley, old friend, Thank you, Himpy, New.

Speaker 7 (01:07:14):
Year to you. Hey, why don't we have a drink
to that drink? Well, let me pour you a glass
of yogurt.

Speaker 5 (01:07:26):
No, thanks, Stanley, I'll skip this round. Stanley. We're having
our big New Year's party and Doc Yancey's born tonight.
Thought you might like to join.

Speaker 7 (01:07:33):
Us in Doc Yancey's barn.

Speaker 25 (01:07:34):
Yeah, thank you, Hamp.

Speaker 7 (01:07:36):
But I've already made my plans for tonight. I'm going
to the formal dance at the Antler Hotel in the
Moose Room. Everyone will be wearing tails.

Speaker 5 (01:07:43):
In the Moose Room. I guess.

Speaker 7 (01:07:47):
Yes, it'll be quite swanky. Yeah, I'm taking miss Abigail Turner.
She's one of the Turners.

Speaker 19 (01:07:52):
You know.

Speaker 7 (01:07:53):
Her family came here over a hundred years ago.

Speaker 5 (01:07:55):
She looks it. Sorry, you can't make it, Stanley. I
know if and I'll have a wonderful time.

Speaker 7 (01:08:02):
You mean Theodora consented to go to this barn dance. Well,
I'm totally yet, but I know she'll love it. Oh, Hemp,
you fool you. Theodore is a sophisticated girl to her
New York's evenings, formal dress, dinner imported champagne.

Speaker 5 (01:08:17):
Will our cider's imported from Charliville.

Speaker 7 (01:08:21):
Taking Theodora to that hazied affair?

Speaker 5 (01:08:23):
What?

Speaker 7 (01:08:24):
How can you be such a hic?

Speaker 5 (01:08:27):
I hate him?

Speaker 7 (01:08:30):
Cider imported from Charlieville.

Speaker 12 (01:08:33):
You kill me.

Speaker 5 (01:08:34):
Better get out of here before I take him up
on that peabody can't scare me. I'll bet Theodora love
that barn dance. What if it is corny, I'm a
little corny myself. That's kind of a girl I want.

(01:08:55):
Well I can settle down with and raise little corn muffins.
She's from a big town though, Kansas City. They have
storm drains there. Well, I'll kind of fish around.

Speaker 7 (01:09:09):
I'll find out.

Speaker 31 (01:09:13):
Hope she's in.

Speaker 5 (01:09:18):
It's Harold, I'll be right there. What am I worried about?
She's corny?

Speaker 41 (01:09:24):
All right?

Speaker 42 (01:09:26):
Hello, Curly Lesson, he love you. Oh I bet you
came over to tell me where you're taking me tonight? Well,
you see, come on out, tell Theodora.

Speaker 5 (01:09:40):
Theodora, how a by playing a little game.

Speaker 23 (01:09:42):
First, we played spin the bottle the last time you
were here, that's when I.

Speaker 5 (01:09:48):
Brought the loaded bottle. Well, this is a word game,
and call association Theodora. You find out what the other
person is thinking. Oh, I mentioned a word to you,
and you say whatever it makes you think of. Are
you ready?

Speaker 18 (01:10:00):
Well?

Speaker 8 (01:10:01):
Alrighty?

Speaker 5 (01:10:02):
Good? New Year's Eve?

Speaker 23 (01:10:04):
Facent undergrass oop.

Speaker 5 (01:10:08):
We're having hot dogs under elis. Let's try it again.

Speaker 2 (01:10:13):
Huh.

Speaker 7 (01:10:14):
New Year's E champagne in a bucket.

Speaker 5 (01:10:18):
We're having seven up in a tub. Try it once more.
New Year's Eve, swanky.

Speaker 14 (01:10:27):
Stopper club oop, white tie and tails.

Speaker 5 (01:10:31):
Maybe I can trap her and barn dance Tennessee Ernie.

Speaker 7 (01:10:39):
Now, Harold, tell me where are you taking me tonight?

Speaker 5 (01:10:42):
Antler room, I mean Antler Hotel, Moose Room. I'll be
the third moose from the right.

Speaker 20 (01:11:00):
Well returned to the second act.

Speaker 7 (01:11:02):
Of our story, honest, Harold.

Speaker 37 (01:11:03):
In just a moment, have you seen who's joining Bing
Crosby on the show tonight? It's Dinah Shore, Louis Armstrong
and Jack T.

Speaker 5 (01:11:11):
Garden.

Speaker 37 (01:11:11):
That's just a little later this evening over most of
these same CBS stations, The Bing Crosby Show, and now
back to Honest Harold the Homemaker.

Speaker 5 (01:11:32):
Well, it looks as though Honest Harold's.

Speaker 37 (01:11:34):
Happy New Year isn't going to be so happy for
the first time. He isn't going to see the New
Year in with his old friends. Instead, he's talking himself
into stepping out at the Antler Hotel to make an
impression on the lovely Theodora. It's afternoon now, and we
find Harold dejectedly returning home.

Speaker 5 (01:11:53):
How am I gonna tell Doc and Pete I'm not
coming to the barn dance tonight? Fine, friend, I turned
out to be. I'm a cad deserting him on New
Year's Eve running around in moose tails?

Speaker 18 (01:12:07):
Is that you, Harold?

Speaker 31 (01:12:08):
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (01:12:09):
Mother.

Speaker 23 (01:12:11):
Where did you see Theodora?

Speaker 19 (01:12:13):
Yeah?

Speaker 31 (01:12:14):
I did.

Speaker 23 (01:12:14):
Is she happy about where you're taking her tonight?

Speaker 31 (01:12:17):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (01:12:17):
Yeah, she's very happy.

Speaker 23 (01:12:18):
Oh, you two will have a wonderful time and maybe
Theodora will pin the tail on the donkey.

Speaker 12 (01:12:25):
She did.

Speaker 23 (01:12:28):
Harold, you just got a phone call from doctor Yancey.
From Doc, Yes, he thought your feelings might be hurt
because you're not the pageant tonight. Who wasn't that sweet
of it. I can just see the three of you
at your New Year's party tonight, your arms around each other,
singing short old acquaintance, be forgotten my fam a.

Speaker 13 (01:12:52):
Broc do mine.

Speaker 7 (01:13:00):
Please?

Speaker 8 (01:13:00):
You're flat shut?

Speaker 5 (01:13:06):
Oh mother, I guess I'm better drop in and tell
Pete I can't come tonight. I'd as well get it
over with. You'll understand. I think, Hello, Pete, oudy boy,

(01:13:28):
Pete errold if.

Speaker 7 (01:13:30):
You want to take my part in the pageant tonight,
it's okay, dook with me, old friend. Here's my ribbon
that Pete, you'd make an awful cute baby New Year.

Speaker 43 (01:13:44):
It's an easy part to learn, boy, four lines and
three goos.

Speaker 5 (01:13:51):
That's nice of you, go, Pete. But you see, I
can't come tonight. I'm going to the formal dance at
the Antra Hotel.

Speaker 43 (01:13:57):
What oh sure you're going to the Antler Hotel and
I'm Margaret Truman, Margaret and Pete.

Speaker 5 (01:14:07):
I I can hear me sing a Cadenzie.

Speaker 43 (01:14:09):
Boy, you don't understand you're going to the Antler Hotel tonight.

Speaker 7 (01:14:16):
Ain't that dude, Pete?

Speaker 5 (01:14:19):
This is no doozy. I'm really going there. Tonight I'm
taking Theodora. Oh, Pete, I'm really awfully sorry. I just
couldn't help it.

Speaker 31 (01:14:28):
Sure boy, you know I really want to be with you.

Speaker 7 (01:14:31):
Fhos, Sure boy, Harold, it's a good thing. I hain't
Margaret Truman, I'd tell my father on you.

Speaker 5 (01:14:53):
I guess Doc's in the barn here, certainly hate to
tell him about tonight. Well I gotta do it. Oh
my goodness, he's got his pet goat with him. Whether
if Pete told him I'm not coming?

Speaker 40 (01:15:05):
Hello, Doc, Good afternoon, mister m oop. Pete told him,
arow Doc, I'd like to explain this funny look up here?
Look swell, Doc, I were speaking to Arthur my goal.
Oh excuse me, Arthur.

Speaker 38 (01:15:22):
Oh do you think of a man who deserted his
old friends on New Year's Eve?

Speaker 13 (01:15:33):
Yeah?

Speaker 7 (01:15:34):
You sure bleeded a bibful Arthur.

Speaker 8 (01:15:39):
Doc.

Speaker 4 (01:15:39):
Will you listen to me if you don't mind.

Speaker 7 (01:15:41):
I'm very busy right now, Arthur.

Speaker 38 (01:15:44):
Do you like the way I've hung the bunting?

Speaker 7 (01:15:52):
That's very sweet? How do you thank you?

Speaker 8 (01:15:55):
I want to come, Arthur.

Speaker 38 (01:15:56):
I bet you wouldn't desert your fellow goats and try
to horn into.

Speaker 5 (01:15:59):
High shiny horn in Now Wait a minute, No, sure.

Speaker 38 (01:16:02):
You wouldn't be off somewhere dining on caviare you'd be
right here with your old friend munching tin cans?

Speaker 5 (01:16:08):
Dot, i'd munched tin cans. I mean I'd like to
be here with you fellas tonight. You know that, don't you, doc,
old friend? Don't you believe me? Say something?

Speaker 7 (01:16:17):
Hey, not you Arthur.

Speaker 5 (01:16:22):
That was me, hair be and that was me, good bucke.

Speaker 17 (01:16:38):
Are you having a good time?

Speaker 2 (01:16:40):
Hair?

Speaker 5 (01:16:40):
Oh? Sure, moose room is very nice? Wonder what the
fellows are doing at the barn dance?

Speaker 17 (01:16:46):
You won't beautifully?

Speaker 31 (01:16:48):
Thank you Theodora.

Speaker 5 (01:16:49):
It's a good thing. This is all that orchestra knows.
It played three o'clock in the morning three times. It's
only nine fifteen. What a finish? Well should we go
back to our table? All right?

Speaker 44 (01:17:06):
Yeah?

Speaker 17 (01:17:08):
Thank you?

Speaker 5 (01:17:09):
Oh. Sort of a quiet crowd for New Year's Eve,
isn't it?

Speaker 7 (01:17:13):
Yes?

Speaker 5 (01:17:13):
It is. Look at that in the corner there with
a big chin. He has moved for an.

Speaker 29 (01:17:17):
Hour, Harold, that's a stuffed moves.

Speaker 5 (01:17:23):
I thought he was sitting kind of high.

Speaker 7 (01:17:28):
Haro.

Speaker 17 (01:17:29):
Are you sure you're having a good time?

Speaker 5 (01:17:31):
Good time?

Speaker 7 (01:17:32):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (01:17:32):
Sure, I'm having my goodness. What's the matter of Stanley
Peabody coming with his girl? And I don't want to
get stuck with prissy pants? Oh? Dom, so he won't
see that harrow?

Speaker 7 (01:17:41):
Hello Theodora? Yeah, what are you doing under the table?

Speaker 5 (01:17:44):
Under the table, and I was looking for the thing.
It's like Stanley brought the thing with him.

Speaker 7 (01:18:00):
I present Miss Abigail Turner, mister Theodora, and mister Harold hamp.

Speaker 13 (01:18:04):
How do you do?

Speaker 7 (01:18:06):
Oh, I have a wonderful idea. Why don't Abigail and
I sit at your table?

Speaker 31 (01:18:10):
Well?

Speaker 7 (01:18:10):
Yes, you sit here, happy Dabby.

Speaker 5 (01:18:13):
Happy Dabby sounds like a candy bar.

Speaker 7 (01:18:16):
Thank you, and I'll sit here. Just think the four
of us will spend the whole evening together.

Speaker 5 (01:18:21):
Yeah, I am thinking, well.

Speaker 7 (01:18:24):
Shall we get into the festive mood? I think I'll
blow my horn Booby Theodora laugh and be gay. Are
you feeling Mary, Abigail?

Speaker 27 (01:18:38):
Oh?

Speaker 30 (01:18:38):
Yes, I feel so new is easy? I feel like
singing that new popular star.

Speaker 7 (01:18:45):
Of the music. You know, Abigail is a debutante. Came
out in thirty nine, probably hasn't been out since.

Speaker 33 (01:19:06):
What is it?

Speaker 7 (01:19:06):
Don't look so glum?

Speaker 18 (01:19:07):
Say something to our guests.

Speaker 5 (01:19:08):
Oh, yes, having a good time, Abigail, I said, you're
having a good time, Abigail the mess man.

Speaker 7 (01:19:22):
Hobby. Oh, I feel so exhilarated, hebby, Yes, Henry, why
don't you tell that up? Rory is riddle? Hemphers will
send you right out of the room.

Speaker 5 (01:19:33):
I hope, So.

Speaker 7 (01:19:36):
Go on, Abby, Dabby.

Speaker 30 (01:19:37):
Well, I asked the question, how do you get down
from an elephant?

Speaker 7 (01:19:43):
I don't know, Abigail, how do you get down from
an elephant?

Speaker 30 (01:19:46):
You don't get down from an elephant?

Speaker 18 (01:19:48):
You get down from the dock.

Speaker 7 (01:20:01):
Why not?

Speaker 5 (01:20:04):
In my face?

Speaker 7 (01:20:07):
Three o'clock in the morning. I love that piece.

Speaker 5 (01:20:10):
Yeah, the orchestra must love it too. Well, Theodora? Should
we dance?

Speaker 7 (01:20:13):
I have suppose I have this dance with Theodora and
you and Abigail can get better acquated. But come on, Theodora,
all right? What excuse us? Please? Theodora? Do you like
to tour ifty handed?

Speaker 5 (01:20:25):
This? Yeah? Music goes around and round.

Speaker 30 (01:20:41):
Oh, it's fun.

Speaker 7 (01:20:44):
Well, it's almost midnight. Shall we unfold our paper?

Speaker 45 (01:20:48):
Hats?

Speaker 5 (01:20:49):
I ate mine? It was better than the chicken? Did
you say it was almost midnight?

Speaker 8 (01:21:02):
Almost?

Speaker 5 (01:21:03):
Wonder what the fellows are doing at the barn dance.

Speaker 30 (01:21:06):
Oh the artist is getting ready to play dance?

Speaker 7 (01:21:08):
Oh good, Oh gaba, Gail, shall we dance this one?

Speaker 5 (01:21:16):
Excuse us please, certainly, Harold, Yes, Theodora, you don't.

Speaker 7 (01:21:22):
Seem very happy tonight happy?

Speaker 5 (01:21:24):
Sure, I'm very happy. Music goes around and round, Harold.

Speaker 17 (01:21:29):
Will you excuse me for a moment.

Speaker 29 (01:21:30):
I want to speak to a friend over there.

Speaker 5 (01:21:32):
Of course, right ahead, Theodora, I'd be right back. He
want a clam bake. What a way to spend New
Year's Eve with Stanley Peabody instead of my old friends.
Should have told Theodora about the barn dance. Let's face it, honest, Harrold,
you're a weekly Well they do know another song? Hm?

(01:22:00):
Why does it have to be that one?

Speaker 2 (01:22:04):
Ge?

Speaker 27 (01:22:06):
But I give the world to see not all gang
of mine.

Speaker 46 (01:22:17):
I can't forget that old quartent. Let's sign sweet ladle
goodbye forever, old hellos and GOLs, goodbye forever old sweethearts

(01:22:41):
and cows.

Speaker 5 (01:22:42):
God bless 'em.

Speaker 27 (01:22:44):
Gee, but I give the world to see that all
game of mine.

Speaker 5 (01:22:56):
And that's where I ought to be, with my old gang,
with Pete and Doc and Arthur's the goat, and that's
where I'm going right now. Why, Harold, what's the Matterdora?
I'm sorry, but I'm going going to the barn dance.
Should have gone there in the first place. But I
knew you wouldn't want to go to a corny party
like that. Oh, Harold, why didn't you ask me?

Speaker 47 (01:23:17):
I wondered why you wanted to come here instead of
spending New Years with your friends.

Speaker 17 (01:23:21):
You did, and I'd love to go to your barn thens.

Speaker 13 (01:23:25):
You would.

Speaker 7 (01:23:27):
Damn?

Speaker 5 (01:23:28):
Oh Stanley, Eh, whoa way?

Speaker 7 (01:23:31):
New Year's comes, but once a year.

Speaker 5 (01:23:32):
You said we're not going to spend it here. Come
on Theodora, Oprah in time Theodora must be almost twelve o'clock. Yes,
here's the barn. Sounds kind of quiet in there. Oh

(01:23:53):
they're doing the pageant. Come on, Ah?

Speaker 18 (01:23:56):
What were the baby New Year?

Speaker 27 (01:23:58):
Good old Doc?

Speaker 5 (01:24:00):
He's baby New Year. Look at Pete in that ribbon.

Speaker 17 (01:24:09):
Isn't that cute?

Speaker 13 (01:24:11):
Baby New Year?

Speaker 5 (01:24:16):
It's pulling that customer? Hi hair, Hi, Peter o friend,
my hair held Donald. I'm glad to see you.

Speaker 7 (01:24:24):
Why it wouldn't have been New Year's without you? Would
it be? It's your wooden boy?

Speaker 5 (01:24:28):
Thanks I really missed you.

Speaker 4 (01:24:29):
Fellas, say twelve o'clock everybody.

Speaker 5 (01:24:34):
Happy, Happy New Year, Hair, Happy New Year, Boy, Happy
New Year, Fellaws, Happy New Year Theodora.

Speaker 31 (01:24:44):
Happy New Year you, Arthur.

Speaker 5 (01:24:46):
But I'm not gonna kiss.

Speaker 33 (01:24:46):
You when it's time for old anzime.

Speaker 5 (01:24:50):
Okay, come on, fellas, you take the tenipart.

Speaker 2 (01:24:52):
Arthur, the Queen.

Speaker 31 (01:24:58):
For God, have a brock tude.

Speaker 2 (01:25:09):
O God.

Speaker 5 (01:25:37):
I know that all of you listening in tonight are
anxious to hear about our Operation Santa Claus ventured at
Travis Air Force Base and what happened to the thousands
of gifts you sent in. I have a wire from
Colonel Kelly commanding Officers that I'd like to read to you. Quote.
Your recent gratifying personal appearance at Travis Air Force Base
will long be remembered by all who saw you. Your
bright laughter and good cheer to the men who needed it,

(01:25:57):
most wounded Korean veterans in the base hospital and combat
ready servicemen bound overseas. Your huge store of gaily rapped gifts,
which you personally distributed to the war wounded and the
outbound troops, was especially appreciated and will not soon be forgotten.
As Commanding Officer. I wish to take this opportunity of
expressing through you my heartfelt gratitude to all the kindly people,

(01:26:18):
your radio listeners who made those thousands of gifts possible. Again,
thanks to you and your true Harold Perry for an
appearance that brought the true spirit of Christmas the Travis
Air Force Base. Joe W. Kelly, Colonel, United States Air Force,
Commanding unquote, I wish it were possible to thank all
you personally for your gifts. The boys being able to
make them a bit happier on Christmas was the most

(01:26:39):
wonderful experience of my life. Thanks again from the bottom
of my heart, and the Happy New Year to you all.

Speaker 37 (01:27:00):
Just heard the Harold Perry Show, Honest Harold. The supporting
players tonight included Marie Alden, Jane Morgan, Marley Bear, Olin Sulay,
and Mary Jane Crabb and featured Gloria Holiday as Gloria
and Joseph Kerns as all Dot Yak Jak. Norman MacDonald directed,
and the music was composed and conducted.

Speaker 7 (01:27:18):
By Jack Meacon.

Speaker 5 (01:27:19):
Pretty too, isn't it?

Speaker 37 (01:27:20):
Honest Harold, created by Harold Perry, was written by Jane
Stone Jack Robinson and Dick.

Speaker 5 (01:27:24):
Powell good writers.

Speaker 37 (01:27:26):
Yes, and remember the Rose Bowl game between Michigan and
California will be broadcast next Monday, New Year's Day exclusively
over most of these same CBS stations. Stay tuned now
for the Bing Crosby Show which follows immediately and most
of these same CBS stations.

Speaker 7 (01:27:41):
This is Roy Rowan.

Speaker 37 (01:27:42):
Speaking PA's to Sebs for you thrills, which is fans
on Thursday Night the Columbia Broadcasting System.

Speaker 1 (01:28:09):
That was Harold Peery's Barn Dance as broadcast on December
twenty seventh, nineteen fifty The Aldridge Family is going to
take you to a New Year's Eve party, which happens
to be a masquerade party. From December thirtieth, nineteen forty eight.

Speaker 48 (01:28:21):
The Aldrich Family, based on characters originated by Clifford Goldsmith
and starring Ezra Stone as Henry, with Jackie Kelk as Homer.

Speaker 49 (01:28:29):
Hennry Henry alright, coming mother.

Speaker 7 (01:28:46):
For the Alridge family.

Speaker 48 (01:29:01):
Most of us remember our teenage as something that was
always bright and shiny and rather wonderful. But to Henry Aldrich,
who is right in the middle of his teenage life,
is not always that attractive. The scene opens in the
Aldrich living room.

Speaker 7 (01:29:16):
It is the afternoon of the last day of the year.

Speaker 19 (01:29:19):
You are, father, You really are.

Speaker 45 (01:29:21):
Certainly, Mary may I asked quite so unusual about taking
your mother to a mascarade on New Year's Eve?

Speaker 18 (01:29:26):
But Father, did you know that people dance?

Speaker 5 (01:29:28):
It? Not?

Speaker 13 (01:29:29):
Great?

Speaker 17 (01:29:29):
Certainly, I know.

Speaker 27 (01:29:31):
Oh what do you mean?

Speaker 48 (01:29:32):
Oh?

Speaker 19 (01:29:33):
Nothing, Mary, I'll be right back.

Speaker 50 (01:29:36):
Father, All right, Mary?

Speaker 43 (01:29:37):
Why are you mother in the dining room?

Speaker 51 (01:29:40):
And Dear, I was just wondering how you and Kermit
were going to send this even didn't I tell you?

Speaker 5 (01:29:44):
Mother?

Speaker 49 (01:29:45):
Oh, my goodness, I'm so sil Really, I guess Kermit's
just about the most.

Speaker 2 (01:29:49):
Thoughtful person in the whole world.

Speaker 14 (01:29:51):
My where's he taking you?

Speaker 18 (01:29:53):
No place?

Speaker 5 (01:29:54):
No place?

Speaker 51 (01:29:55):
You're just coming over here where we can be all
by ourselves with just each other.

Speaker 44 (01:29:59):
Wh that thoughtful of him?

Speaker 2 (01:30:01):
Well?

Speaker 14 (01:30:02):
Yes, dear, of course.

Speaker 18 (01:30:03):
Goodness, When I think of.

Speaker 52 (01:30:04):
All the poor girls with boyfriends don't think of anything
better to do than throw their money around and never
get a romantic thought in their lives, why doesn't your
heart bleed for them?

Speaker 51 (01:30:14):
It certainly does, Mary, And I know just how you feel.
Your father was always very thoughtful that way too. Did
you know he's planning on actually dancing tonight?

Speaker 5 (01:30:26):
Dear?

Speaker 18 (01:30:26):
Your father's been dancing for twenty five years, That's what
I mean. Wouldn't you think he get tired?

Speaker 5 (01:30:32):
My goodness, I never thought of that.

Speaker 51 (01:30:34):
I wonder excuse me, Mary.

Speaker 13 (01:30:36):
Oh Sam?

Speaker 18 (01:30:37):
It do you think I should take something for kermit?
As long as you stick to macaroons?

Speaker 51 (01:30:41):
Mary, I lead, I know, dear, but I just got
to thinking about about what.

Speaker 27 (01:30:49):
Sam.

Speaker 18 (01:30:49):
Are you sure you want to go to that masquerade tonight?

Speaker 45 (01:30:52):
Of course I'm sure.

Speaker 12 (01:30:53):
Why are you at well?

Speaker 18 (01:30:54):
It's just are you sure you aren't getting tired?

Speaker 2 (01:30:58):
Tired?

Speaker 27 (01:30:59):
After all?

Speaker 45 (01:31:00):
He is tired, Alice. These years with you have been
the happiest of my life.

Speaker 18 (01:31:04):
What, dear, I'm talking about the masquerade?

Speaker 5 (01:31:07):
Oh well, well, Alice.

Speaker 45 (01:31:08):
When you first mentioned the masquerade, I may not have
been too enthusiastic, but now I'm really looking forward to it.
You are not only that I promised I'll take you
and Alice. When I give my word, I keep it.

Speaker 13 (01:31:18):
Father.

Speaker 2 (01:31:19):
Yes, Henry, I'm in the living.

Speaker 33 (01:31:20):
Room trying to read.

Speaker 18 (01:31:21):
Do you go right on in your reading?

Speaker 14 (01:31:23):
Sam?

Speaker 18 (01:31:23):
It's nice and RESTful for you.

Speaker 52 (01:31:25):
What father, I've turned the whole house upside down, and
you're my last hope.

Speaker 18 (01:31:29):
I am. Geez, do you know where my shin pads are?

Speaker 20 (01:31:32):
Shin pads?

Speaker 25 (01:31:32):
What do you want them for?

Speaker 18 (01:31:33):
I'm taking them to the hockey game tonight, father, and
have the autographed.

Speaker 45 (01:31:36):
I'm afraid I haven't seen them.

Speaker 18 (01:31:37):
Son, you haven't mo the way, Father, What are you
planning on wearing tonight?

Speaker 45 (01:31:41):
I don't know yet, Henry. Mister and Missus Brown are
looking out for the costumes.

Speaker 18 (01:31:45):
You're wearing a costume?

Speaker 5 (01:31:47):
Certainly you are, father, you really are?

Speaker 2 (01:31:51):
Yes, I am.

Speaker 8 (01:31:52):
And I'm also going to dance.

Speaker 13 (01:31:54):
You are? I am?

Speaker 18 (01:31:57):
You're going to dance the thing like a hockey game.
But well, yeah, you know the game you promised?

Speaker 45 (01:32:02):
Do you take me to tonight?

Speaker 2 (01:32:03):
When did I promise a thing like that?

Speaker 33 (01:32:05):
Why?

Speaker 18 (01:32:05):
Just before Christmas? Father, when you couldn't take me to
that basketball game?

Speaker 52 (01:32:09):
You promised and you said the very next time there
was a hockey game, no matter if the world.

Speaker 18 (01:32:14):
Came to an end, we'd go.

Speaker 45 (01:32:16):
Yeah. Well, Henry, Henry, I just want you to know
that there's nothing I'd rather do than take you to
that hockey game.

Speaker 52 (01:32:24):
And why and then lucky I reminded you, yes, especially since.

Speaker 18 (01:32:28):
I already turned down three different New Year's Eve parties.

Speaker 52 (01:32:31):
Oh you did, sure, And none of the kids would
believe me when I told them how my father thought
enough of me to turn.

Speaker 18 (01:32:38):
Over the entire end of his old year to me.

Speaker 33 (01:32:43):
Henry, Henry, would you excuse me a minute, Alice, Yes, Alice, Yeah,
the Browns.

Speaker 18 (01:32:49):
Didn't phone, did they. They said they get all the costumes.

Speaker 52 (01:32:53):
And my goodness, it's the middle of the afternoon now, Alice, Alice, I.

Speaker 33 (01:32:57):
Just got a wonderful idea.

Speaker 44 (01:32:59):
You did this.

Speaker 45 (01:33:00):
I don't we put on our coats and hats, say,
next Saturday night and go down to the mansion house
for dinner?

Speaker 18 (01:33:05):
Why Sam?

Speaker 45 (01:33:06):
Good dancing afterwards? You know, really make a night of it, Sam,
You dear, you're like that?

Speaker 14 (01:33:11):
Like you?

Speaker 17 (01:33:12):
Why Sam?

Speaker 21 (01:33:12):
Either?

Speaker 12 (01:33:13):
Don't?

Speaker 33 (01:33:13):
Bye?

Speaker 2 (01:33:14):
Then, Alice, and Dear, I.

Speaker 51 (01:33:16):
Think you get more thoughtful every day. Well, my goodness,
how many husbands realize how tired we wived get eating
our own cooking all the time.

Speaker 45 (01:33:25):
Alice, what I had in mind was that we would
do that in place of going to the masquerade tonight.

Speaker 18 (01:33:30):
But Dear, I've been looking forward to this masquerade.

Speaker 45 (01:33:33):
Well, look, Alice, why don't we make a night of it,
not just next Saturday, but every Saturday night in the year.
What do you know, make a regular data there, my goodness,
instead of going to the masquerade tonight.

Speaker 33 (01:33:46):
Well, naturally, Sam.

Speaker 18 (01:33:47):
If you're feeling your age, of course I won't drag
you out.

Speaker 2 (01:33:50):
Alice.

Speaker 5 (01:33:51):
I am not feeling my age, So.

Speaker 18 (01:33:52):
Dear, suddenly you do look awfully, Hagen, I'll look for it.

Speaker 13 (01:33:58):
Mary.

Speaker 2 (01:33:59):
But Alice, Oh, Henry, yes, Henry.

Speaker 45 (01:34:05):
You know Henry, when I wasn't able to take you
to that basketball game, well I was a very good
example of the way things have been in nineteen forty eight.

Speaker 31 (01:34:14):
But not next year.

Speaker 45 (01:34:15):
No, no, sir, Next year, son is going to be
a big change.

Speaker 33 (01:34:19):
You and I are going to be closer.

Speaker 5 (01:34:21):
We are, we are see.

Speaker 52 (01:34:23):
That's swell, father, and boy, what a swell way to
start the new year off going to our hockey game together.

Speaker 45 (01:34:30):
Well, this is still nineteen forty eight, Henry, Why start
a new regime tonight?

Speaker 2 (01:34:35):
Why not started?

Speaker 33 (01:34:36):
Say any night next week that you name next for sure,
and we'll go out on the pale and have the
time of our lives.

Speaker 2 (01:34:42):
We will absolutely even if, even.

Speaker 18 (01:34:45):
If, even if the world comes to an end.

Speaker 7 (01:34:50):
Yes, well, sure that's okay.

Speaker 45 (01:34:53):
Father, Fine, now you're sure, are your son? Sure?

Speaker 20 (01:34:58):
Sure that that's what you'd rather do?

Speaker 45 (01:35:00):
I mean, I don't want to appear to be forcing
you into anything.

Speaker 5 (01:35:02):
No, it's okay, tho.

Speaker 33 (01:35:05):
After all, hockey is rather the strenuous form of amusement
for a man of my age. Well, I mean, sure, father.

Speaker 7 (01:35:10):
I understand you really do.

Speaker 18 (01:35:12):
Well, I'll find somebody younger.

Speaker 2 (01:35:15):
To go with.

Speaker 18 (01:35:16):
Who but Homer, Homer, are you still there?

Speaker 52 (01:35:28):
Sure?

Speaker 33 (01:35:29):
How about it?

Speaker 6 (01:35:30):
Nothing doing?

Speaker 47 (01:35:31):
Henry?

Speaker 52 (01:35:31):
Look, Homer, who really wants to go to Willie's party
on New Year's z?

Speaker 5 (01:35:36):
I do?

Speaker 52 (01:35:36):
Do you sit around play stupid games, wear your feet
out dancing, and watch a lot of dumb girls watching
you to see if you're watching them?

Speaker 18 (01:35:46):
But boy, you go to a hockey game, see, and.

Speaker 52 (01:35:49):
They're all these swell players, and there's this little piece
of rubber, sure.

Speaker 49 (01:35:52):
And all they do is chase it around.

Speaker 19 (01:35:55):
Omer.

Speaker 18 (01:35:55):
They do a lot more than that, boy.

Speaker 52 (01:35:57):
They trip up each other with their sticks and push
each other.

Speaker 18 (01:36:00):
You're into the sidewarts.

Speaker 49 (01:36:01):
Sometimes a player even lands in your laf, in my lafe, Sure,
no kidding, Sure, I'd.

Speaker 18 (01:36:06):
Rather go to the party. But a Homer, and you
can go to the hockey game all by myself.

Speaker 49 (01:36:12):
Sure, I just think you'd have one seat to sit in,
one seat for any player.

Speaker 18 (01:36:16):
That might land there. See, that wouldn't be any fun.

Speaker 49 (01:36:20):
Well, I'd like to boom around with your hand, only
she a hockey game.

Speaker 18 (01:36:25):
Isn't there anything you'd rather do than go to Willie's party? Well,
what I'd really like is to go to that masquerade. Masquerade.

Speaker 49 (01:36:32):
Sure that our folks are going to see they're giving
prizes and everything.

Speaker 18 (01:36:36):
Well, then why don't we both go?

Speaker 49 (01:36:38):
Do you need money to rent costume?

Speaker 52 (01:36:40):
Look, Homber, my father gave me an extra dollar, and
if I could sell my hockey tickets, i'd have enough money.

Speaker 18 (01:36:46):
How could you sell them? At this late date? Everybody
will have plans for the sake of your new year, Homer.
The least I can do is try.

Speaker 2 (01:37:04):
Hello, Hello, Sam?

Speaker 5 (01:37:06):
Oh hello?

Speaker 45 (01:37:06):
There will everything all set for the mascarad and you
bet you're Sam fine. Just the thought of getting out
on the dance floor makes me feel like a boy.

Speaker 33 (01:37:13):
A guess, Sam, I phone to tell you we have
the costumes, but what are they? We're going?

Speaker 5 (01:37:17):
As the fourth seasons of the year.

Speaker 20 (01:37:19):
Hey, that's a darn good idea. Well your winter?

Speaker 33 (01:37:22):
What your winter?

Speaker 5 (01:37:24):
Sam?

Speaker 2 (01:37:25):
Oh?

Speaker 13 (01:37:25):
I am?

Speaker 33 (01:37:26):
You wear a long white beard, seeing you even have
a cane?

Speaker 25 (01:37:30):
Okine?

Speaker 18 (01:37:30):
Sure, so you won't even have.

Speaker 50 (01:37:32):
To dance, Sam, All you have to do is hobble
around all evening.

Speaker 7 (01:37:36):
I see, well, well that's just glad.

Speaker 2 (01:37:39):
I'm glad you like the idea.

Speaker 5 (01:37:40):
Sam Oh, I do?

Speaker 45 (01:37:41):
I do?

Speaker 12 (01:37:42):
Indeed, what are you will?

Speaker 33 (01:37:44):
I'm summer summer?

Speaker 18 (01:37:46):
I see, well, so long we'll get together later and try.

Speaker 33 (01:37:49):
The costumes on bye, goodbye?

Speaker 2 (01:37:51):
Well, yes, sam, Alice.

Speaker 7 (01:37:54):
Howl is well brown?

Speaker 18 (01:37:56):
Why I'm not sure?

Speaker 33 (01:37:57):
Is here a couple of years older.

Speaker 18 (01:37:58):
Than I am?

Speaker 23 (01:37:59):
Yes?

Speaker 17 (01:37:59):
I believe he is.

Speaker 8 (01:38:01):
Why what's the matter?

Speaker 45 (01:38:03):
Nothing else.

Speaker 5 (01:38:12):
But home?

Speaker 18 (01:38:13):
Or listen to reason? Can we stand aside where you're going?
But Homer, it's the only costume he has left. It
isn't my face, it isn't my fall.

Speaker 49 (01:38:21):
Either, and I refuse to have anything to do with But.

Speaker 52 (01:38:24):
I've already sold my hockey tickets home, and you promised
you'd go to the masquerade with me, not in this costume.

Speaker 18 (01:38:31):
I can't go in in alone.

Speaker 49 (01:38:32):
Listen, Henry, I'm not being the back end of any horse,
and that's the Is that.

Speaker 18 (01:38:37):
All that's worrying? Look, you can be the front end.

Speaker 49 (01:38:40):
No, I'm not starting the new year by being any
part of a horse but a homer Henry, I said, no,
you think I want to dance with you all evening?

Speaker 18 (01:38:48):
Back to front, Sam, what are you.

Speaker 17 (01:38:59):
Trying to say?

Speaker 45 (01:39:00):
Is this, Alice, that some time ago I gave Henry
my word i'd go to.

Speaker 33 (01:39:03):
A hockey game with him this evening?

Speaker 18 (01:39:05):
But Sam, what about the brown?

Speaker 33 (01:39:06):
That's unfortunate, Alice. But the more I think about it,
the more I feel my first duty is to my son.

Speaker 18 (01:39:11):
But think of how disappointed they'll be.

Speaker 45 (01:39:13):
No, and I'm sorry, but they'll just have to find
themselves another winter.

Speaker 20 (01:39:16):
Sam, what do you mean right?

Speaker 5 (01:39:18):
Nothing?

Speaker 17 (01:39:19):
And what about me?

Speaker 26 (01:39:20):
Alice?

Speaker 5 (01:39:21):
I'm sorry about that, but I'll make it up to
you next week.

Speaker 18 (01:39:24):
Did you mean I have to stay home tonight with
Mary and Kermit?

Speaker 30 (01:39:27):
Money you do right here in this house?

Speaker 2 (01:39:29):
Yes?

Speaker 13 (01:39:29):
Mary, you mean right in the living room.

Speaker 20 (01:39:31):
Excuse me, I'd better phone the brow.

Speaker 18 (01:39:33):
But mother, that's all right, Mary, I won't bother you
and Kermit. I can fix myself up very comfortably in
the kitchen.

Speaker 51 (01:39:39):
In the kitchen I'll be fine, Mary, I'll take an
armchair out there, just knit.

Speaker 18 (01:39:44):
My goodness, we wouldn't think of letting you do a
thing like that.

Speaker 51 (01:39:47):
Well, Mary, if you really don't object, I bring the
radio out in the kitchen for you.

Speaker 13 (01:39:53):
Mary.

Speaker 18 (01:39:54):
Do you mean to say you really banish your own
mother to the kitchen on New Year's even?

Speaker 5 (01:39:59):
Mother?

Speaker 18 (01:40:00):
Yes, Henry's anyone phoned for me while I was out, No, dear,
no one at all, not even Homer. No, Henry, Ray, yes.

Speaker 2 (01:40:09):
Father, I many, Please, I've been looking for you.

Speaker 5 (01:40:11):
Mother.

Speaker 13 (01:40:11):
You don't understand.

Speaker 17 (01:40:12):
Yes I do.

Speaker 18 (01:40:13):
Marry, I understand perfectly, Henry, I have Mel's heart. You
mean Homer changed his mind about going with me.

Speaker 20 (01:40:18):
Henry, I am going with you.

Speaker 33 (01:40:20):
You are, yes, sir, I've managed to change my other plans,
and son, you can count.

Speaker 18 (01:40:24):
Me yet I can. That's definite far it is.

Speaker 33 (01:40:28):
I may have been forced to go back on my
word a few times in the past, but not anymore, Henry.

Speaker 18 (01:40:32):
Oh, boy, then let's try it on the costume.

Speaker 33 (01:40:36):
I have a ride out in the hall.

Speaker 18 (01:40:37):
Father, and boy, it's the best durned looking horse you
ever saw.

Speaker 45 (01:40:41):
Horse. Now, wait a minute, I thought we were going
to a hockey game.

Speaker 18 (01:40:44):
Not anymore, father, We're going to the masquerade instead.

Speaker 33 (01:40:47):
It's a worse now.

Speaker 18 (01:40:48):
Wait, you're in the back end. No wait, you just promised.

Speaker 7 (01:40:52):
Fine, I know, but I.

Speaker 45 (01:40:53):
Thought, Henry, you don't expect me to walk around all evening,
said over double.

Speaker 33 (01:40:58):
But father, I'm not a young man.

Speaker 4 (01:41:00):
Henry.

Speaker 52 (01:41:00):
Probably you mean you're backing out again. No, but after
you said we were going to be closer this year.

Speaker 31 (01:41:07):
Not that close.

Speaker 7 (01:41:28):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (01:41:29):
Getting back to the troubles.

Speaker 48 (01:41:30):
Of Henry Aldridge, Mister and Missus aldridg had made arrangements
to attend the New Year's He've Masquerade with the Browns
when Henry informed his father of a promise to take
him to a hockey game tonight.

Speaker 33 (01:41:42):
Due to his.

Speaker 48 (01:41:42):
Efforts to keep his word to everyone, mister Aldridge has
now wound up as the hind end of a horse.
The scene opens in the Browns living room.

Speaker 7 (01:41:52):
It is late the same afternoon.

Speaker 2 (01:41:54):
Mother, Would you.

Speaker 49 (01:41:54):
Phone William Marshall for me?

Speaker 18 (01:41:56):
What poor hold man?

Speaker 17 (01:41:57):
Tell him?

Speaker 49 (01:41:57):
And looks as though I'm going to recover and I'll
be able to go to his party tonight after all
becover from what my pneumonia, my pneumonia pneumonia. Mine, mother,
he thinks I'm staying home with pneumonia instead of going
to his New Year's party.

Speaker 18 (01:42:11):
You're not going to Goody's party.

Speaker 49 (01:42:12):
I told him I wasn't she was. I'll be durned
if I'll be a whose homer just because your horse is.

Speaker 18 (01:42:18):
No reason to think you're coming down with pneumonia.

Speaker 2 (01:42:20):
Why just go and gargle?

Speaker 12 (01:42:22):
Dear?

Speaker 18 (01:42:22):
But mother, Homer, dode is you're told? Can't you see
I'm busy thinking more?

Speaker 49 (01:42:26):
Okay, but gargling isn't gonna straighten me out with Willie.

Speaker 2 (01:42:29):
Dear, you just have to have faith faith, I know?

Speaker 19 (01:42:33):
But who out of my way?

Speaker 5 (01:42:35):
Woo?

Speaker 13 (01:42:36):
Mother?

Speaker 27 (01:42:37):
Mother?

Speaker 18 (01:42:38):
But mother, there's a tree out in our.

Speaker 2 (01:42:40):
Hall, and it spoke to me.

Speaker 18 (01:42:42):
Oh dear, that's no tree. That's your father, And get
off by that here?

Speaker 33 (01:42:49):
How do I look?

Speaker 8 (01:42:50):
Fathers?

Speaker 18 (01:42:51):
Are really you sure? I'm summer?

Speaker 14 (01:42:54):
You're wife?

Speaker 5 (01:42:54):
I'm summer?

Speaker 37 (01:42:55):
Shumma?

Speaker 50 (01:42:56):
Oh boy, we'll stop fully arrived with costume and help
me find us Spring and winter?

Speaker 18 (01:43:02):
Who hang and winter?

Speaker 2 (01:43:03):
Did I just backed out? What's that?

Speaker 49 (01:43:05):
She was going upstairs?

Speaker 2 (01:43:07):
And lie?

Speaker 8 (01:43:07):
Do Elizabeth?

Speaker 5 (01:43:08):
What do you mean? They backed out?

Speaker 33 (01:43:10):
Will be orchids?

Speaker 23 (01:43:11):
That he decided they can't come to the masquerade tonight.

Speaker 33 (01:43:13):
Well I shall find back.

Speaker 18 (01:43:14):
Now we'll calm down. You're shedding your leaves ys the phone.

Speaker 33 (01:43:19):
But Elizabeth, what are we going to do?

Speaker 2 (01:43:21):
We can't vote justice, fool seasons will I've been trying
to think how we could convert our costumes goa sace hopeless? Oh?

Speaker 33 (01:43:28):
Hello, hello, Elizabeth, this is Sam or Rich.

Speaker 52 (01:43:31):
Sam.

Speaker 18 (01:43:32):
You'll never know how disappointed we are.

Speaker 33 (01:43:33):
Well, that's what I called about.

Speaker 20 (01:43:35):
Even if I can't make it. Do you think you
could still fit Alice in a spring?

Speaker 2 (01:43:40):
Well?

Speaker 52 (01:43:40):
The only thing is Sam, wouldn't the three of us
look a little awkward without winter?

Speaker 33 (01:43:44):
Nonsense? Elizabeth.

Speaker 45 (01:43:45):
If there's one season you can dispense with, it's certainly winter.

Speaker 18 (01:43:48):
Well maybe we could work out something.

Speaker 45 (01:43:50):
Appreciate it, Elizabeth, goodbye, goodbye, Elizabeth.

Speaker 2 (01:43:53):
Was that's Sam on the phone.

Speaker 23 (01:43:54):
Yes, he wants to know we could get Alice in
his spring?

Speaker 18 (01:43:57):
You mean all by herself?

Speaker 2 (01:43:58):
But who will we get us win?

Speaker 18 (01:44:00):
I haven't any.

Speaker 2 (01:44:01):
Idea unless yeah, we're like gout it?

Speaker 52 (01:44:04):
What he's not going anyway?

Speaker 27 (01:44:06):
Night?

Speaker 29 (01:44:07):
Oh, Homer, come down here and try all this?

Speaker 7 (01:44:10):
Deer father?

Speaker 18 (01:44:20):
Could you hold the horse's tails? Still a minute, Henry,
what are you doing?

Speaker 33 (01:44:24):
Well?

Speaker 52 (01:44:25):
The trouble is when I put my head in first,
my feet won't go in by putting your feet in first.

Speaker 18 (01:44:31):
Are your feet in?

Speaker 33 (01:44:32):
Father?

Speaker 8 (01:44:33):
Yes?

Speaker 18 (01:44:33):
Maybe I should sort.

Speaker 33 (01:44:34):
Of bend over. What happened behind legs?

Speaker 18 (01:44:38):
You're sticking straight up in the air?

Speaker 2 (01:44:40):
Yes, and I'm on my back.

Speaker 18 (01:44:42):
Well, maybe that's the way to do it.

Speaker 52 (01:44:44):
We both lie on our back seat and stick all
our four feet up in the air.

Speaker 5 (01:44:48):
Now, wait a minute.

Speaker 18 (01:44:50):
See, it's gonna be fun. Father in Dad when you
answer the.

Speaker 6 (01:44:53):
Phone, Well, i'll try.

Speaker 2 (01:44:55):
I'll get it.

Speaker 33 (01:44:56):
Father, Henry, stop pulling my legs.

Speaker 18 (01:44:58):
That's my leg?

Speaker 8 (01:44:59):
Father, Hello, that's your leg over there?

Speaker 13 (01:45:02):
It is? Well, whose arm is this?

Speaker 19 (01:45:05):
Uh?

Speaker 33 (01:45:06):
Wait?

Speaker 17 (01:45:06):
Not wait, is anybody as.

Speaker 2 (01:45:08):
Oh, Henry, let's take one leg at a pie?

Speaker 13 (01:45:12):
Hello?

Speaker 8 (01:45:12):
Hello?

Speaker 28 (01:45:13):
Is that you married?

Speaker 12 (01:45:15):
Yes?

Speaker 27 (01:45:15):
Is that you?

Speaker 13 (01:45:16):
Kermit?

Speaker 7 (01:45:16):
Yes?

Speaker 31 (01:45:17):
Hello?

Speaker 51 (01:45:18):
Hello, Liat was nice of you to phone Mary.

Speaker 2 (01:45:22):
I have some news for you.

Speaker 13 (01:45:23):
You have.

Speaker 29 (01:45:23):
I have news for you too, Kermit?

Speaker 2 (01:45:25):
You have what is it?

Speaker 17 (01:45:27):
You tell me your no?

Speaker 34 (01:45:28):
You tell me your no?

Speaker 13 (01:45:30):
Yeah?

Speaker 18 (01:45:31):
Well, first of all, I made something wonderful for you
to eat tonight.

Speaker 8 (01:45:34):
You're dead.

Speaker 50 (01:45:35):
That's wonderful because frankly, Mary, I am getting a little
tired of macaroons. Oh, oh my goodness, and not that
I'm not crazy about your macaroons.

Speaker 18 (01:45:43):
Mary, It's all right, kermity, goodbye. Yes, I have to go,
and that is yes.

Speaker 4 (01:45:48):
But Mary, I haven't told you my news.

Speaker 5 (01:45:50):
Well could you tell me quickly?

Speaker 7 (01:45:51):
Sure?

Speaker 33 (01:45:52):
We're going to a hockey game tonight?

Speaker 20 (01:45:54):
For hockey game?

Speaker 19 (01:45:55):
Yeah, and death to save me the ticket permit a.

Speaker 29 (01:45:58):
Hockey game on New Year's ease?

Speaker 19 (01:46:00):
Well, isn't that swell?

Speaker 13 (01:46:02):
Mary? Mary?

Speaker 7 (01:46:04):
Are you there?

Speaker 6 (01:46:05):
Yes?

Speaker 18 (01:46:05):
But my goodness, I was looking forward to Jawa Kerman.

Speaker 17 (01:46:09):
If you don't know, I'm stay not going to tell you.

Speaker 18 (01:46:11):
And goodbye?

Speaker 8 (01:46:12):
Mary?

Speaker 20 (01:46:13):
What's all the commotion on here?

Speaker 30 (01:46:14):
By the wise that you manage sat Over, You're all
the same, every one of you.

Speaker 7 (01:46:19):
Mary.

Speaker 19 (01:46:20):
What did I do?

Speaker 38 (01:46:20):
Now?

Speaker 50 (01:46:21):
I think I've got that horse lick father, Henry, you
can forget about that horse, forget them about.

Speaker 2 (01:46:25):
I can see your heart isn't.

Speaker 31 (01:46:27):
In it, son.

Speaker 2 (01:46:27):
No, where are those hockey tickets?

Speaker 9 (01:46:29):
I haven't got?

Speaker 2 (01:46:29):
So I get them.

Speaker 45 (01:46:30):
When I say I'm going to take you to a
hockey game, Henry, then that's what I'm going to do.

Speaker 33 (01:46:33):
But I'm not going to palm off a masquerade on
you instead.

Speaker 18 (01:46:36):
But father, I can't get the hockey tickets. I sold
them to Kerman.

Speaker 31 (01:46:40):
What I see?

Speaker 7 (01:46:42):
Excuse me, Henry, father.

Speaker 18 (01:46:44):
You mean you're going to change your mind again?

Speaker 2 (01:46:47):
Alice?

Speaker 51 (01:46:48):
Then well, look, would you like going to narrate macaroons?

Speaker 38 (01:46:52):
Dere?

Speaker 2 (01:46:53):
No, thank you, Alice.

Speaker 33 (01:46:54):
I've been thinking it over, thinking what over? And while
I made a promise to Henry, I also made a
promise you.

Speaker 8 (01:47:00):
Yes, but Henry's young, He'll get over it.

Speaker 12 (01:47:02):
What as you?

Speaker 7 (01:47:04):
What as you?

Speaker 17 (01:47:05):
Whereas I thought?

Speaker 12 (01:47:07):
Alice?

Speaker 45 (01:47:07):
Would you explain to Henry that you insist I go
to the masquerade with you?

Speaker 8 (01:47:11):
But Dear, I can't.

Speaker 18 (01:47:12):
You can't what I can't insist?

Speaker 7 (01:47:14):
Now?

Speaker 12 (01:47:15):
What do you mean?

Speaker 17 (01:47:16):
Elizabeth?

Speaker 18 (01:47:16):
Just phone me and I'm going with someone else?

Speaker 45 (01:47:18):
But Alice, do you mean to say you're going out
tonight with some other man?

Speaker 18 (01:47:22):
Well, pray, Dear, I don't know. Elizabeth said it would
be a surprise.

Speaker 7 (01:47:27):
It's pretty unbelievable.

Speaker 18 (01:47:29):
Why then you're jealous, Jules, I am not. Now, do
you haven't a thing to worry about?

Speaker 2 (01:47:34):
Alice?

Speaker 8 (01:47:35):
Here to call the whole thing off immediately say I'd give.

Speaker 51 (01:47:37):
Him my word power and dear, I'm sure that once
I've made a promise, you wouldn't.

Speaker 37 (01:47:41):
Want me to break it.

Speaker 33 (01:47:51):
Henry, everything's all settled.

Speaker 7 (01:47:53):
You and I are going to that masquerade as.

Speaker 18 (01:47:55):
A horse, But father, I thought you didn't want to.

Speaker 45 (01:47:57):
Only I'm going as a front end, you understand. But
I can keep an eye on what I can watch,
what I can see what's going on.

Speaker 18 (01:48:04):
But see, whiz, father, you're too late.

Speaker 52 (01:48:06):
But look, I just got the hockey tickets back from Kerman.

Speaker 33 (01:48:10):
The hockey ticket.

Speaker 18 (01:48:11):
Sure I've traded him something for.

Speaker 15 (01:48:14):
Can you certainly have your nerves.

Speaker 2 (01:48:16):
But Mirror, you said you wanted us to be secluded.

Speaker 17 (01:48:18):
Everything so and so it in all my life.

Speaker 5 (01:48:20):
But Mirror, you can be the front of him.

Speaker 8 (01:48:22):
Just a minute.

Speaker 31 (01:48:25):
What's going on here?

Speaker 50 (01:48:26):
I can tell your father, mister Aldrich, would you try
to explain something to Marry for me?

Speaker 2 (01:48:30):
Kermit, I'm not dumb.

Speaker 18 (01:48:31):
I don't eat anything explained to me.

Speaker 44 (01:48:33):
Mister Aldrich.

Speaker 33 (01:48:33):
I'll just stay out of it.

Speaker 6 (01:48:34):
But mister Aldrich, you're better at managing women than I.

Speaker 2 (01:48:37):
Out of sad oh, I.

Speaker 18 (01:48:39):
Know everybody, how do you like my costume?

Speaker 45 (01:48:43):
I'm giving you one last chance. Hear, and now to
break your dates.

Speaker 18 (01:48:46):
Mother, you have a day, yes, dear, with a man,
missus Aldroo Joe Kermit? What's wrong with that?

Speaker 16 (01:48:51):
Yes?

Speaker 32 (01:48:52):
Kermit with a man, Mother, a man's day's?

Speaker 13 (01:48:56):
Homer?

Speaker 5 (01:48:56):
We're busy?

Speaker 16 (01:48:57):
You are?

Speaker 49 (01:48:58):
You mean you can't go with me?

Speaker 4 (01:49:00):
God heavend you?

Speaker 7 (01:49:03):
She was, Homer?

Speaker 18 (01:49:03):
Where'd you get that?

Speaker 5 (01:49:04):
Beard? You mean you?

Speaker 7 (01:49:07):
You're sure?

Speaker 49 (01:49:08):
I'm lintered?

Speaker 5 (01:49:12):
Are you left?

Speaker 27 (01:49:29):
Father?

Speaker 33 (01:49:31):
Father?

Speaker 18 (01:49:31):
How do you feel?

Speaker 13 (01:49:32):
Now?

Speaker 2 (01:49:33):
How do I look at ray?

Speaker 18 (01:49:35):
Frankly?

Speaker 33 (01:49:36):
Terrible?

Speaker 5 (01:49:37):
Then?

Speaker 7 (01:49:38):
You know how I feel?

Speaker 52 (01:49:39):
The mean thing is, there's.

Speaker 18 (01:49:40):
Only about ten minutes left in nineteen forty eight?

Speaker 2 (01:49:43):
Yeah, wouldn't it.

Speaker 18 (01:49:44):
Be a better omen if you saw the new year
in with a smile?

Speaker 12 (01:49:49):
H You're right?

Speaker 5 (01:49:50):
Father?

Speaker 45 (01:49:50):
Are you going to sit up now? I'm gonna try it.

Speaker 18 (01:49:53):
It's a daring, good hockey game, wasn't it, father?

Speaker 2 (01:49:56):
Yes?

Speaker 45 (01:49:56):
Son, it was until they carried me out.

Speaker 18 (01:50:00):
See that player who got thrown into your lap? I
think it did him good?

Speaker 25 (01:50:05):
Well, I'm glad to hear it.

Speaker 52 (01:50:06):
Sure, he just dusted himself off and jumped back on
the ice and scored the winning goal.

Speaker 31 (01:50:12):
Good for him.

Speaker 2 (01:50:13):
Now please hand me that stake again? Sure?

Speaker 18 (01:50:17):
And how's your eye coming along, father, she was, there's
the phone. You stay right where you are, Father, all
the time?

Speaker 2 (01:50:23):
You Henry?

Speaker 18 (01:50:25):
Hello, Hello, Henry. How is the hockey game?

Speaker 2 (01:50:28):
Boy?

Speaker 18 (01:50:28):
Mother was the best one I ever went to? How's
the masquerade?

Speaker 17 (01:50:32):
Just lovely?

Speaker 5 (01:50:33):
Dear?

Speaker 18 (01:50:33):
Did you win the grand prize? No, dear, Homer upset
the whole apple cord and he discovered his sea. It
was made of spunge sugar.

Speaker 7 (01:50:41):
What happened?

Speaker 19 (01:50:42):
He ate it?

Speaker 18 (01:50:44):
And Henry, may let me speak to your father, father.

Speaker 5 (01:50:47):
Mother wants you on the phone.

Speaker 45 (01:50:49):
Mother, who did win the prize?

Speaker 18 (01:50:50):
Mary and Kermit? Everyone thought they made a wonderful horse?

Speaker 33 (01:50:54):
Bet your mother?

Speaker 18 (01:50:55):
Henry?

Speaker 7 (01:50:55):
Sure?

Speaker 52 (01:50:56):
Father?

Speaker 7 (01:50:56):
You you see who's at the door, stun sure?

Speaker 19 (01:50:58):
Father?

Speaker 2 (01:50:59):
Hello?

Speaker 17 (01:51:00):
Sam.

Speaker 18 (01:51:00):
I just wanted to be the first one to say
happy New Year to you.

Speaker 2 (01:51:04):
Why, thank you, Alice, and the same to you.

Speaker 25 (01:51:06):
Are you having a good time?

Speaker 18 (01:51:08):
Frankly, they're not as good a time.

Speaker 2 (01:51:09):
As if you were here, Alice. I'm going to make
everything up to you.

Speaker 33 (01:51:12):
I haven't forgotten the promise that nature, dear, you.

Speaker 18 (01:51:15):
Really mean we'll go out someplace every Saturday.

Speaker 4 (01:51:18):
Night for the whole year.

Speaker 51 (01:51:19):
Absolutely well, my goodness, I'm certainly looking forward to nineteen
forty nine.

Speaker 20 (01:51:25):
Father, oh, father, just a minute, alis, father.

Speaker 18 (01:51:28):
Gets who was at the door?

Speaker 52 (01:51:29):
Who the man from a hockey rank And he wanted
to know how your black eye was. Yes, And just
to show there's no hard feelings.

Speaker 18 (01:51:37):
Look what he gave us a season pass to all
the hockey games. What's that every Saturday night for the
whole year.

Speaker 5 (01:51:45):
Every Saturday, Sam, it's midnight.

Speaker 18 (01:51:48):
But happy New Year, Sam, Happy new year.

Speaker 33 (01:51:51):
Father.

Speaker 2 (01:51:52):
Yeah, well, happy new Year.

Speaker 47 (01:52:20):
Listening again next week, same time, same station for another
sparkling half hour with your favorite youngster, his family and
his pals. The old garring Ezra Stone is written by
Clifford Goldsmith.

Speaker 1 (01:52:39):
From the Masquerade Party from December thirtieth, nineteen forty eight,
with the Aldridge family. We're going to go to a
different family here. His father knows best. From December twenty ninth,
nineteen forty nine.

Speaker 27 (01:52:49):
Mother is next?

Speaker 23 (01:52:51):
Will house really the only coffee.

Speaker 29 (01:52:53):
In the world?

Speaker 14 (01:52:54):
Well, your father says so, and your father knows best.

Speaker 20 (01:53:05):
Yes, Its father knows best. Transcribed in Hollywood starring Robert
Young his father. A half hour visit with your new neighbors,
the Andersons, brought to you by Maxwell House. The coffee
that's bought and enjoyed by more people than any other
brand of coffee at any price. Maxwell House always good
to the last drop. It was Samuel Johnson who said,

(01:53:45):
and with good reason. I'm sure every man naturally persuades
himself that he can keep his resolutions.

Speaker 25 (01:53:52):
Nor is he convinced of his imbecility. But by length
of time and frequency of experiment.

Speaker 20 (01:53:58):
Well, in Springfield and the white frame House on Maple Street,
just such an experiment is about to begin like this.

Speaker 25 (01:54:06):
Good morning, Margaret.

Speaker 14 (01:54:07):
Good morning, dear. Breakfast will be ready in just a moment.

Speaker 25 (01:54:10):
That's all right, dear, No hurry. Kids aren't down yet,
are They.

Speaker 14 (01:54:14):
Wouldn't no, But well it is a holiday, Jim, and
I just thought, oh.

Speaker 25 (01:54:18):
It's all right with me, Margaret.

Speaker 53 (01:54:19):
After all, this is the last day of the year,
and it's Saturday, and well, they deserve a little extra rest,
don't they.

Speaker 14 (01:54:25):
Well, yes, dear.

Speaker 25 (01:54:26):
Anyway, it gives me a chance to.

Speaker 53 (01:54:28):
Tell you about something I've I've had it on my
mind for quite a while, and well it's about time
I did something about it.

Speaker 20 (01:54:36):
Yes, Dear, From now on, I'm not going to lose
my temper at any time.

Speaker 25 (01:54:42):
What do you think of that.

Speaker 14 (01:54:43):
Well, I think it's wonderful.

Speaker 53 (01:54:46):
But during nineteen fifty, I'm going to be the soul
of patience at home, at the office, everywhere.

Speaker 8 (01:54:52):
Patient.

Speaker 25 (01:54:52):
Old Jim, that's what they're going to call me, Jim.

Speaker 14 (01:54:55):
Yes, Margaret, you remember my grandmother Williams, not one of
my real grandmother's. She was the one who took care
of my mother when she was living in Middletown after
the lumber company sent my father to Oregon and my
sister Kathleen was born.

Speaker 5 (01:55:08):
No, but.

Speaker 25 (01:55:12):
I don't remember her.

Speaker 14 (01:55:14):
Oh well, she used to have a wonderful saying for
people who wanted to control their tempers.

Speaker 53 (01:55:19):
Margaret, I don't need any special formula. I just won't
lose my temper.

Speaker 25 (01:55:23):
That's all I know, dear.

Speaker 14 (01:55:24):
But grandmother Williams used to say, if you think your
temper's going, just recite the hottentalk, and before you're halfway finished,
why it's back as like as not.

Speaker 25 (01:55:36):
Oh that's very pretty, But I'd rather do it my way.
I just won't lose my temper.

Speaker 14 (01:55:40):
Jim, if you were really sincere, you'd at least let
me tell you what the hottentot is.

Speaker 20 (01:55:44):
I don't care what the hotentt is. I don't need
the hottentot.

Speaker 53 (01:55:47):
Why do you immediately leap to the conclusion that I
need help in controlling my temper.

Speaker 25 (01:55:51):
I just won't lose it, that's all.

Speaker 14 (01:55:53):
You've already lost it.

Speaker 25 (01:55:55):
Now, Look, Margaret, I've ugh all right. What's the hot
and well?

Speaker 14 (01:56:01):
It's just an old saying we had when I was
a girl. If to hoot and to toot a hot
and tot tot be taught by a hot and top tutor,
the tutor get hot. If the hot and tot tot
hoot and toot at the hot and top tutor, that's all.

Speaker 18 (01:56:15):
There is to it.

Speaker 25 (01:56:23):
I'd rather lose my temper.

Speaker 20 (01:56:24):
Jim, Well, I'm not gonna walk around babbling like a
six year old.

Speaker 53 (01:56:28):
Idiot in search of a brain so hot to toot.
The silliest darn thing I've ever heard doesn't even make sense.

Speaker 14 (01:56:35):
Yes it does, dear you.

Speaker 7 (01:56:36):
See.

Speaker 14 (01:56:37):
It says that if a hot and hot tutor teaches
a hot and tot tot to hoot and toot, well,
the tutor has no one but himself to blame it
the hot and hoots and toots at him.

Speaker 25 (01:56:51):
Fine, I'll tell him when he comes in.

Speaker 14 (01:56:55):
Jim, it's just supposed to divert your attention for a moment.
Pat's all. Then you won't lose your.

Speaker 25 (01:56:59):
Temper, Margaret, I'm not going to I please have the
morning paper.

Speaker 7 (01:57:05):
The paper?

Speaker 14 (01:57:06):
Oh well, Betty came down to look at it first
thing this morning. It's in the breakfast note.

Speaker 25 (01:57:10):
Thank you.

Speaker 35 (01:57:11):
Oh no, is the something wrong there, Margaret?

Speaker 25 (01:57:15):
Look what she did to this paper.

Speaker 53 (01:57:17):
How in the world do they expect a man to
read anything as messed up as this? Why is it
that whenever I want to see anything around here, Jim,
somebody always, somebody always.

Speaker 25 (01:57:31):
I will not lose my temper.

Speaker 20 (01:57:33):
I shall control my temper if it kills me.

Speaker 14 (01:57:36):
Good morning, mother, Oh, good morning, Betty.

Speaker 54 (01:57:38):
Morning father, I said, good morning father.

Speaker 14 (01:57:43):
Father, Betty. I wouldn't bother your father this morning. But
I didn't do anything.

Speaker 54 (01:57:49):
Oh, he found out I drove the car on a
flat tire.

Speaker 7 (01:57:56):
Betty.

Speaker 25 (01:57:57):
Please Margaret, Yes, dear, to hoot and tooth.

Speaker 14 (01:58:01):
What I'll write it down for you, Dear. If to
hoot and to toot hot and tot tot be taught
by a hot and tot tutor, the tutor get hot
if the hot and tot hoot and toot at the
hot and tot tutor.

Speaker 53 (01:58:22):
Thank you, Good morning, Benny, Good morning father, and how
are you this beautiful morning?

Speaker 17 (01:58:31):
I'm fine, thank you? Are you all right?

Speaker 25 (01:58:36):
That's fine? Coffee about ready? Margaret? Yes, dear, here you are,
Thank you well, Benny.

Speaker 20 (01:58:42):
Are you and Billy Smith planning on a big time tonight?

Speaker 54 (01:58:45):
Oh yes, father, mister Smith's going to let Billy have
their brand new car and we're going to a barn dance.

Speaker 8 (01:58:50):
It'll barn.

Speaker 25 (01:58:55):
What'll they think of next?

Speaker 55 (01:58:58):
Marre?

Speaker 25 (01:58:58):
Heck and Elizabeth are going to the party. The Hathaways too,
aren't they?

Speaker 14 (01:59:01):
I think so?

Speaker 16 (01:59:02):
Well.

Speaker 53 (01:59:02):
If Heck's letting Billy take the new car, they won't
have any transportation.

Speaker 25 (01:59:06):
We'd better arrange to pick them up, all right, dar
you call Elizabeth? Yes, dear fine, Good.

Speaker 30 (01:59:15):
Morning, Mommy, darning, daddy, Kathy?

Speaker 25 (01:59:17):
That wasn't you, was it?

Speaker 23 (01:59:20):
What wasn't me?

Speaker 18 (01:59:21):
Daddy?

Speaker 5 (01:59:21):
Morning?

Speaker 7 (01:59:22):
Everybody?

Speaker 44 (01:59:22):
How's every little old thing?

Speaker 5 (01:59:24):
Oh?

Speaker 53 (01:59:25):
Thank goodness? I thought for a minute we were going
to have two elephants in the house. Nothing only I
wish you'd learn to walk down.

Speaker 44 (01:59:34):
The stairs, you bet hey, Mom, I'm starving, poor little thing. Well,
I haven't eaton since last night, Say, dad, speaking of money?

Speaker 25 (01:59:46):
Who said anything about money?

Speaker 44 (01:59:50):
Well, nobody, but I'm going to I see.

Speaker 14 (01:59:55):
One stack of wheed's coming up.

Speaker 25 (01:59:56):
Thank you, ma'am Kathy Mabstair Please.

Speaker 30 (01:59:59):
Yes, Daddy, thank you, You're welcome.

Speaker 25 (02:00:04):
Christmas is over too.

Speaker 44 (02:00:07):
Oh you're saying, bud, Well, the way I figure it,
a dollar a week is all right when you're fifteen,
but you see, I'll be sixteen in another five or
six months. And well, you see, when you're fifteen you
don't have to worry about girls much. But when you
get to be fifteen and a half, well, let's say
you go to the movies and you meet a girl.

(02:00:30):
I mean, even if she buys her own ticket. You
know what they charge for ice cream, sodas, gosh, even
if you only get a root bear or something or no, no,

(02:00:54):
I didn't mean a lot dead. I just thought another
fifty cents quarter maybe.

Speaker 53 (02:01:02):
But don't you realize that if I gave you a
larger allowance, you would never be sure if a girl
liked you for your money or yourself?

Speaker 33 (02:01:13):
Well, gosh, who'd care?

Speaker 20 (02:01:17):
But eat your breakfast and behave yourself.

Speaker 44 (02:01:19):
I don't have any breakfast to eat.

Speaker 14 (02:01:21):
I'll have your pancakes in just a minute.

Speaker 7 (02:01:24):
Holy cow.

Speaker 44 (02:01:25):
Everybody else gets more than a dollar, and they don't
even do half the things I do.

Speaker 53 (02:01:29):
But I've had just about all the complaining. I'm going
to stand if I hear one more word out of you,
so help me.

Speaker 25 (02:01:36):
If to hoot and two to hot and all right, Bud,
eat your breakfast?

Speaker 2 (02:01:46):
Holy cow?

Speaker 5 (02:01:47):
What was that?

Speaker 25 (02:01:49):
Never mind what it was?

Speaker 20 (02:01:50):
Eat your breakfast and be quiet, holy cow.

Speaker 53 (02:01:54):
But I don't know what they teach you in your school,
but for a fifteen year old boy, you have the
most bully fine vocabulary I've ever heard.

Speaker 7 (02:02:04):
What does that mean?

Speaker 20 (02:02:05):
It means stop saying, holy cow?

Speaker 8 (02:02:09):
Gee, whizz.

Speaker 14 (02:02:14):
Here you are? But nice hot pancakes?

Speaker 8 (02:02:16):
Oh thanks mom, Bud?

Speaker 50 (02:02:19):
Yes?

Speaker 20 (02:02:19):
Dan, did you put ashes on the driveway last night?

Speaker 12 (02:02:22):
Yes?

Speaker 52 (02:02:22):
Dan?

Speaker 25 (02:02:22):
And the front walk?

Speaker 2 (02:02:23):
Yes Dan.

Speaker 31 (02:02:24):
Good.

Speaker 20 (02:02:25):
As soon as you've had your breakfast, please see if
you can find my tire chains.

Speaker 25 (02:02:28):
It's going to be slippery driving tonight.

Speaker 7 (02:02:29):
Okay, Dan, some more pancakes, dere I'm.

Speaker 20 (02:02:32):
Afraid not, Margaret. I've got to get down to the office.

Speaker 14 (02:02:34):
It seems such a shame. Jim, everybody else in town
is taking a full weekend.

Speaker 25 (02:02:39):
Margaret, you certainly don't think I like the idea.

Speaker 53 (02:02:42):
But when mister Gribbles says he wants to straighten out
his insurance, well, we just straightened out his insurance, that's all.

Speaker 14 (02:02:48):
But couldn't it wait until Tuesday?

Speaker 25 (02:02:50):
Oh no, that's next year. Mister Gribbles says, it's got
to be examined this year.

Speaker 30 (02:02:55):
Daddy, No, gee whizz, you'd think I was a step
child or something.

Speaker 31 (02:03:02):
Well.

Speaker 20 (02:03:02):
I ought to be through by one anyway, so it
won't be too bad if I got through earlier.

Speaker 25 (02:03:06):
I'll come home for lunch.

Speaker 8 (02:03:07):
How's that?

Speaker 14 (02:03:07):
Oh that'll be fine, Dear, Oh Jim, you forgot the
paper paper, Oh.

Speaker 25 (02:03:12):
The thing with the hot in time? Okay, let me
have it. Thank you, be a good girl. I will
song kids, and I'll have my lunch downtown, all right.

Speaker 14 (02:03:23):
Dear drinking milk, Kathy.

Speaker 23 (02:03:25):
All I ever do is drink milk.

Speaker 4 (02:03:28):
What I'm to my other rubber, I don't know.

Speaker 14 (02:03:31):
Dear, did you look in the closet.

Speaker 2 (02:03:33):
I've got it.

Speaker 20 (02:03:34):
Goodbye, good bye.

Speaker 14 (02:03:37):
But I wish you'd learn not to annoy your father
at breakfast.

Speaker 44 (02:03:41):
I didn't do anything.

Speaker 12 (02:03:42):
All I said.

Speaker 5 (02:03:45):
Know what.

Speaker 29 (02:03:46):
It sounded like he fell down?

Speaker 44 (02:03:49):
How could he fall down?

Speaker 17 (02:03:50):
I put ashes on the.

Speaker 20 (02:03:51):
Sidewalk, Oh, jim.

Speaker 8 (02:03:56):
My, poor broken back?

Speaker 44 (02:03:59):
You fell down on hot Dad?

Speaker 31 (02:04:08):
Yes, I fell down.

Speaker 25 (02:04:11):
Why didn't you put ashes on the steps.

Speaker 44 (02:04:13):
You didn't say to put ashes on the steps. You
just said to put them on the sidewalk in the driveway.

Speaker 25 (02:04:20):
Margaret, Where did I put that paper? I don't know, dear,
never mind, I've got it.

Speaker 44 (02:04:24):
Gosh, I'm sorry.

Speaker 25 (02:04:26):
Just a moment.

Speaker 53 (02:04:28):
If to hoot and too hot and tot tot be
taught by a hot and top tutor, the tutor get hot.

Speaker 20 (02:04:33):
If the hot and tot at the hot and top
tutor bud, yes, put ashes on the steps?

Speaker 56 (02:05:04):
Well, nobody can say, father, isn't try this time of year,
good resolutions are mighty important to a man. Of course,
good coffee, truly good coffee like our Maxwell House, Well,
that's important the whole year round. How much it means
that wonderful good to the last drop flavor. No other
coffee gives it to you, no coffee but Maxwell House.

(02:05:27):
There's a reason for this.

Speaker 31 (02:05:29):
A good one.

Speaker 56 (02:05:30):
It's a recipe, the only recipe in the entire coffee
world for that famous good to the last drop flavor.

Speaker 7 (02:05:38):
After all, what's the most important thing about coffee?

Speaker 56 (02:05:41):
Sure, it's flavor, and that flavor depends on the blend,
the kind of coffee you choose for it, and how
you put them together. Now, in different countries, on different plantations,
coffee has grown in countless varieties, and you can combine
them in many, many ways. But here's the point. There's
only one way, one recipe for our famous Maxwell House flavor.

(02:06:03):
And this recipe of ours makes the great, big difference
between just any coffee and wonderfully good coffee that can
add something friendly and cheering to every day of the
year ahead. So think about it. If good coffee really
means something to you, why don't you start enjoying America's
favorite brand. Yes, tomorrow and every day, enjoy Maxwell House Coffee.

Speaker 25 (02:06:27):
It's always good to the last drop.

Speaker 20 (02:06:40):
In the white frame house on Maple Street, lunchtime has
come and gone. As a matter of fact, so is
dinner time, and Jim Anderson still hasn't returned. The rest
of the family is eaten. But father, oh, just a minute,
here he comes now, mister.

Speaker 53 (02:06:55):
Gribble of all the miserable, ill mannered inconsiderate, unreliable creatures
at it. It's ever been my misfortune to meet, Jim,
is that you. I'll been in a min in Margaret. You,
mister Gribble, take the first, second, and third prizes. I
wouldn't care if you owned a dozen factories. You want
to place your insurance with another office, It's perfectly all
right with me, Jim.

Speaker 14 (02:07:15):
Dear, we've been awfully worried. Who are you talking to?

Speaker 25 (02:07:19):
Mister Gribble?

Speaker 20 (02:07:20):
That puny excuse for a foghorn?

Speaker 14 (02:07:22):
Mister Gribble? Is he here?

Speaker 53 (02:07:25):
I don't know where he is. I've been waiting for
him all day and he still hasn't shown up.

Speaker 31 (02:07:29):
First it was ten.

Speaker 20 (02:07:29):
O'clock, then one o'clock, then.

Speaker 25 (02:07:31):
Three, then five.

Speaker 45 (02:07:32):
Not a dad?

Speaker 44 (02:07:32):
Anything wrong?

Speaker 25 (02:07:34):
Oh, everything's fine, just dandy.

Speaker 14 (02:07:36):
We saved your dinner for you, dear.

Speaker 53 (02:07:38):
I had a sandwich downtown. The nerve of the guy
keeping me in the office a whole day and then
doesn't even have the decency, Jim, what is it, Margaret
to hoot and to toot oh boot and toot my
foot even a hot and tod has a right to
get mad once in a while.

Speaker 14 (02:07:55):
Well, I suppose you know best, Dear Dad, I.

Speaker 53 (02:07:57):
Wouldn't care if if we're just an ordinary business day,
I could understand that, Dad.

Speaker 25 (02:08:01):
But he knew I was going to the office just
to meet him. He knew it was a holiday weekend.

Speaker 53 (02:08:07):
There wasn't another office open in the entire building, nobody
to talk to, nothing, What.

Speaker 50 (02:08:15):
What is it?

Speaker 25 (02:08:15):
What do you want?

Speaker 8 (02:08:17):
Oh?

Speaker 12 (02:08:18):
Oh?

Speaker 44 (02:08:19):
I found the tire chains?

Speaker 20 (02:08:21):
Good they're busted.

Speaker 25 (02:08:25):
I don't know. This was such a nice year. Why
did it have to end like this? What's wrong with
the chains?

Speaker 8 (02:08:31):
Bud?

Speaker 2 (02:08:32):
They're a mess?

Speaker 20 (02:08:33):
Kathy really fixed him?

Speaker 5 (02:08:34):
I did not.

Speaker 20 (02:08:35):
I didn't even touch up, all right, Kathy?

Speaker 25 (02:08:38):
Never mind Margaret, Yes, dear.

Speaker 20 (02:08:42):
Do you suppose Kathy could have dictaphones planted around the house.

Speaker 14 (02:08:47):
I wouldn't think so, dear.

Speaker 25 (02:08:48):
And how could she hear us clear out in the kitchen?

Speaker 30 (02:08:50):
Yeah, I haven't even seen the tire chain since Thanksgiving.

Speaker 44 (02:08:56):
Well that's when you're busting them.

Speaker 29 (02:08:58):
Oh, I did not.

Speaker 7 (02:09:00):
You certainly did.

Speaker 18 (02:09:01):
I certainly didn't.

Speaker 7 (02:09:03):
You certainly did.

Speaker 28 (02:09:04):
I certainly didn't.

Speaker 25 (02:09:05):
All Right, kids, Please, I can't take any of that tonight.

Speaker 53 (02:09:08):
I've got a splitting headache, and I'd like things to
be peaceful and quiet.

Speaker 25 (02:09:12):
Just for a little while, Okay, Dan, I.

Speaker 7 (02:09:15):
Didn't bust them.

Speaker 14 (02:09:19):
All right, Kathy, time for your bath and then get
ready for bed.

Speaker 18 (02:09:22):
You mean now?

Speaker 23 (02:09:24):
I mean no, drink your milk, take your bath, go
to bed.

Speaker 5 (02:09:29):
Boy?

Speaker 18 (02:09:30):
Am I in a run?

Speaker 8 (02:09:39):
Jim?

Speaker 14 (02:09:39):
Maybe if you took a little napy.

Speaker 25 (02:09:41):
Oh, it isn't that bad, honey.

Speaker 53 (02:09:43):
I'll be all right if we can manage just a
little less confusion around here.

Speaker 18 (02:09:46):
Father me, I talked to.

Speaker 29 (02:09:48):
You for a minute.

Speaker 20 (02:09:48):
Please, sure, Why doesn't everybody talk to me? Let's invite
the General Consul of the United Nations in for the weekend.

Speaker 14 (02:09:55):
Betty, your father has a headache. Well, creepers. All I
said was could I I talked to.

Speaker 29 (02:10:00):
Him for a minute.

Speaker 14 (02:10:01):
What's wrong with that?

Speaker 25 (02:10:03):
Not a thing, Betty?

Speaker 5 (02:10:04):
What is it?

Speaker 54 (02:10:05):
Well, Billy Smith said, his father said, and he could
have the car, but if it's going to be slippery
out and the radio said it was going to be
the worst New Year's Eve we've had in Springfield and
over twenty years, and they wouldn't be surprised if we
even had more snow before morning.

Speaker 20 (02:10:21):
He can.

Speaker 25 (02:10:26):
If a hot and.

Speaker 14 (02:10:29):
This is not the time to annoy your father with
Billy Smith's problems.

Speaker 17 (02:10:33):
But mother, if it's going to snow, I'll get it.

Speaker 8 (02:10:37):
Betty.

Speaker 25 (02:10:37):
Let me put it this way.

Speaker 53 (02:10:39):
If a blizzard and six other forms of common disaster
were to strike Springfield at this particular moment, I still
wouldn't care what Billy Smith's father said to Billy Smith.

Speaker 44 (02:10:49):
Hello, oh hello, sure, just a minute, dad, Yes, it's
mister Smith.

Speaker 25 (02:10:58):
Well, naturally, the way I feel. Who else could it
possibly be? Hello?

Speaker 20 (02:11:03):
Heck hey, Jim, you're going to that shin they get
the halfaways, aren't you.

Speaker 25 (02:11:08):
That's right? Heck well, I was just wondering, how'd you
like to drive over with us. You got a new car,
you know, Yes, I know.

Speaker 20 (02:11:16):
Heck, but Betty said you were going to let Billy
have your car.

Speaker 57 (02:11:19):
Yeah, well that's what I wanted to talk to you about, Jim.
You see the way I figure it. After all, Billy
is going with Betty and I've got a brand new car,
and they get a few scratches on that old heap
of yours, it wouldn't make an awful lot of difference.

Speaker 25 (02:11:36):
Did you say something, Jim? No, not yet.

Speaker 57 (02:11:43):
Oh well, like I was saying, now, if you were
to let Billy use your old car, and we could
go in my new car.

Speaker 20 (02:11:57):
Toot, how about it, jim the hot and tot and.

Speaker 4 (02:12:06):
Heck dare yes.

Speaker 53 (02:12:08):
No, Never in all my life have I ever heard
anything like that. He wants me to lend Billy my
car so his car won't get scratched up.

Speaker 25 (02:12:16):
The nerve of the man father.

Speaker 17 (02:12:18):
You mean you said no?

Speaker 25 (02:12:20):
I most emphatically said no, Margaret. What's gotten into everybody?

Speaker 14 (02:12:24):
I don't know, dear, If.

Speaker 53 (02:12:25):
That isn't the worst example of I think the whole
world is going nuts. I'm going with him never mind,
but I'll answer it doesn't want his car scratched up,
But if they skid mine into a telephone pole, that'd
be all right.

Speaker 8 (02:12:40):
Jim My boy, I'm terribly sorry.

Speaker 31 (02:12:42):
I wouldn't have had this happen for the world.

Speaker 25 (02:12:44):
Oh well, come on in, mister Grimble.

Speaker 2 (02:12:48):
Thank you.

Speaker 8 (02:12:49):
I got all tied up my lawyers and well I
can only hope.

Speaker 31 (02:12:52):
You'll forgive me.

Speaker 20 (02:12:53):
Oh sure, that's the sort of thing that can happen
to anybody.

Speaker 8 (02:12:57):
Let me have your coat, Oh thank you, I'll just
drop it here a chair, jam if you're going to.

Speaker 14 (02:13:01):
Change your clothes, Oh hello, mister Gribble.

Speaker 8 (02:13:04):
Missus Anderson, Well, all dressed up, I see Margaret.

Speaker 25 (02:13:08):
Mister Gribble and I are going into the den. But
we won't be long, all right, dear, come along, mister Gribble.

Speaker 14 (02:13:12):
There's no hurry.

Speaker 58 (02:13:13):
I'm going to help Betty dress charming woman, missus Anderson,
absolutely charming.

Speaker 31 (02:13:19):
You're a lucky man, Jim, Yes, indeed, a very lucky man.
Thank you.

Speaker 25 (02:13:24):
Sit down at gribble Well's Jim.

Speaker 31 (02:13:28):
Shall we get started? Get what? We got a busy
night ahead of this, so let's go to work.

Speaker 53 (02:13:33):
I'll wait a minute. You mean you came out here
to go through your insurance tonight?

Speaker 8 (02:13:37):
Well, naturally, this is the thirty first to morrow Star's
new year.

Speaker 58 (02:13:41):
Got to have my affairs in order by midnight? Why why,
good lord man, what do you mean why? Because well,
because I've always done it that way.

Speaker 8 (02:13:52):
That's why.

Speaker 31 (02:13:53):
Let's have an end of this.

Speaker 25 (02:13:54):
Foolish doesn't get to work?

Speaker 33 (02:13:57):
Oh?

Speaker 8 (02:13:57):
Would you rather I placed my insurance with another organization?

Speaker 25 (02:14:02):
If what's that, mister Gribble.

Speaker 53 (02:14:09):
I made a resolution for the new year, So I
want you to notice that I am in complete control
of my temper. My hand is steady, my eye is clear,
and yet very calmly and with absolute composure.

Speaker 25 (02:14:19):
I say, mister.

Speaker 8 (02:14:20):
Gribble, you are an idiot. He's gone mad.

Speaker 53 (02:14:26):
You know, I think you're right, But this is New
Year's Eve. I'm going to a party with my wife.
We're going to have a good time. You and your
lawyers and your insurance and your big fat factories can
go jump into the nearest lake.

Speaker 8 (02:14:39):
He has gone mad.

Speaker 25 (02:14:41):
I'm not Jim Anderson. I'm a hot and hot tot
and I don't give a hoot.

Speaker 26 (02:14:45):
O.

Speaker 53 (02:14:45):
Goodbye, mister Gribble. Here's your cody, is your hat? Goodbye,
good luck, and I'll see you around the pool room. Well,
business is picking up, hi, Jim.

Speaker 41 (02:14:56):
Oh you.

Speaker 25 (02:14:59):
Come on?

Speaker 55 (02:15:00):
Heck, well, thanks, don't mind if a do. Oh hello,
mister Gribble. Goodbye, mister Gribble.

Speaker 20 (02:15:12):
It's the matter with him.

Speaker 25 (02:15:14):
Too much money. What's your excuse, Jim. I I came
over to apologize.

Speaker 31 (02:15:26):
Oh you did? Huh?

Speaker 55 (02:15:28):
You know I waited a long time for that car, Jim,
But well, heck, I'd rather have an old friend than
a new car any day.

Speaker 25 (02:15:36):
How about it, Jim? Sure never even happened.

Speaker 57 (02:15:40):
Thanks Paal Oh, could we pick Elizabeth up on the
way to the party.

Speaker 25 (02:15:45):
Where's your car?

Speaker 33 (02:15:47):
Oh, Billy's got it outside, and so help me if
he gets one scratch on it.

Speaker 25 (02:15:53):
You don't suppose he will, do you?

Speaker 14 (02:15:55):
Jim?

Speaker 45 (02:15:57):
Why?

Speaker 25 (02:15:57):
Of course?

Speaker 7 (02:15:58):
Not?

Speaker 20 (02:16:00):
Busy little place you got here, isn't it just like living.

Speaker 25 (02:16:03):
In an alley?

Speaker 4 (02:16:05):
Anderson?

Speaker 31 (02:16:06):
I want to talk to you.

Speaker 25 (02:16:07):
All right, let's go back into the den. Will you
excuse us? Heck, oh sure, don't worry about me.

Speaker 35 (02:16:12):
I'll take butt outside and show them the new car.

Speaker 25 (02:16:16):
All right, mister gribble? What's on your mind? Anderson?

Speaker 5 (02:16:20):
Yes?

Speaker 31 (02:16:21):
Jim, Yes, do you really think I'm an idiot? Well,
when you put it that way, yes, you know what
what You're right?

Speaker 8 (02:16:43):
But you're the first man in twenty years who have
the courage to tell me.

Speaker 31 (02:16:48):
Jim, I'm I'm not really an idiot. I'm just lonesome.

Speaker 25 (02:16:53):
You Well, where's your family?

Speaker 31 (02:16:58):
They go south for the winter.

Speaker 8 (02:16:59):
Have been doing it for two years, and Jim, I
don't mind being alone in that big house, but.

Speaker 31 (02:17:05):
Not on New Year's Eve.

Speaker 25 (02:17:07):
You mean you've been pulling a gag like this for
twenty years.

Speaker 31 (02:17:12):
Well, not exactly like this. I've never been caught before.

Speaker 20 (02:17:19):
Why didn't you say so?

Speaker 53 (02:17:20):
You could have spent the evening with us. You still can't. Oh,
you're going to a park that's nothing?

Speaker 31 (02:17:26):
So are you? Well? What do you know?

Speaker 8 (02:17:30):
And I won't even have to talk about insurance.

Speaker 25 (02:17:34):
God's now what but but.

Speaker 8 (02:17:38):
But what's going on up there?

Speaker 17 (02:17:40):
It's so baggag.

Speaker 33 (02:17:42):
Mister Smith pushed the horn and it got stuck.

Speaker 20 (02:17:45):
Oh fun, Jim, Is anything wrong?

Speaker 53 (02:17:48):
No, dear, Everything's all right, all right, Everything's wonderful.

Speaker 8 (02:17:53):
Happy.

Speaker 5 (02:17:55):
No.

Speaker 56 (02:17:55):
Yeah, this time of year, enthusiasm, like mister Gribbles is catching,

(02:18:17):
and that's something we're all in favor of. We hope
everything's wonderful with you too, Yes, And during the year ahead,
we hope it'll be even more so.

Speaker 25 (02:18:26):
For our part.

Speaker 56 (02:18:27):
During nineteen fifty, we're going to see to it that
you enjoy wonderfully good coffee every pound of Maxwell House
you open. I know that these days, more than ever before,
you're on the lookout for the most in flavor for
every penny you spend. And next year, just as every
year for more than half a century, that's what you

(02:18:47):
can expect in every pound of our Maxwell House coffee,
a generous extra measure of flavor, of freshness and fragrance
in every familiar blue tin. And with this promise from
Maxwell House, let me extend again our sincerest wishes to
you for a very happy and healthy New year.

Speaker 25 (02:19:15):
Ladies and gentlemen.

Speaker 20 (02:19:16):
The star of our show, mister Robert Young, thank you
very much tonight.

Speaker 53 (02:19:29):
For the first time since this program went on the air,
I'm stepping out of character to make a personal appeal
to our radio audience. During the next year, which is
only a few days away, weon father knows Best, are
to be actively associated with the Inter Industry Highway Safety Committee,
an organization formed at the personal request of President Truman.

(02:19:50):
The purpose of this committee is to combat the greatest
menace our nation has ever known, a menace which each
year takes a greater toll of life than even so
fearsome a killer as war. I refer, of course, to
the careless or perhaps just thoughtless drivers who race with
breakneck and fool hearty speed along our open highways and

(02:20:11):
through our city streets. We'll tell you more about it
next year, but now we'd like to jump the gun
just a little bit. There's a long weekend coming up,
and it's been predicted that hundreds of men, women and
children will lose their lives during that three day period.

Speaker 25 (02:20:26):
Think of it.

Speaker 53 (02:20:27):
The National Safety Council anticipates that horrible and unnecessary loss
of life, and in the past they've been unfortunately correct.
Why don't you do your part this weekend to make
them wrong. Have a good time, have a lot of fun,
but don't take any chances. Drive carefully, drive thoughtfully, and
enjoy the happiest of New Years.

Speaker 33 (02:21:06):
If you like good things, the easy way, good thing,
the easy way, instant Maxwell House.

Speaker 2 (02:21:13):
That's for you.

Speaker 25 (02:21:15):
Good good coffee, no time, no trouble, no fun.

Speaker 27 (02:21:19):
And it's good to the very last.

Speaker 45 (02:21:21):
You know what, Yes, instant Maxwell House means great coffee,
instantly and your cuff. Here's real instant coffee, Oh pure
Maxwell House coffee and instant form. Enjoy instant Maxwell House, instantly,
good to the very last.

Speaker 5 (02:21:35):
Jude Know what.

Speaker 20 (02:21:46):
Father Knows Best? Was transcribed in Hollywood and written by
Ed James. Join us again next week when we'll be
back with Father Knows Best, starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson,
with Roy Bargee and the Maxwell House Orchestra and yours truly,
Bill Forma. So until next Thursday night, for myself and
for the makers of Maxwell House Coffee and Instant Maxwell House.

Speaker 25 (02:22:08):
Let me wish you again a very happy and healthy
New Year.

Speaker 20 (02:22:14):
Now, Stay tuned in for Screen Gild Theater, which follows
immediately over most of these stations.

Speaker 37 (02:22:32):
James Stewart leads the cast on Screen Guild Theater Next
on NBC.

Speaker 1 (02:22:41):
That was Father Knows Best from December twenty ninth, nineteen
forty nine. Here is the Jack Benny Show from December thirtieth,
nineteen fifty one, where there's a New Year's Eve date
with a French girl.

Speaker 59 (02:22:54):
To be happy, Lucky, Happy, Happy, Lucky's taste better friends
ls MFT Lucky strike means fine tobacco, fine mild, good
tasting tobacco.

Speaker 60 (02:23:12):
There's no substitute for fine tobacco, and don't let anybody.

Speaker 12 (02:23:15):
Tell you different.

Speaker 60 (02:23:16):
Yes, Lucky's tastes better because they're fine, mild, good tasting
tobacco goes into the cigarette. Proved the best maid of
all five principal brands. Let me repeat that, proved the
best maid of all five principal brands. That's not an
empty claim. That's a fact verified by leading laboratory consultants,

(02:23:39):
for example, Rolling and Robertson of Richmond, Virginia who report.
It is our conclusion that Lucky Strike is the best
made of these five major brands. So don't be misled
by double talk. Remember the facts. Enjoy fine, mild, good
tasting tobacco in the cigarette that tastes better Lucky Strike,

(02:23:59):
so mild, so smooth, so firm and fresh, with better
taste in every puff. When you buy cigarettes, remember Lucky's taste.

Speaker 26 (02:24:09):
Better be happy, Go Lucky.

Speaker 5 (02:24:14):
Go Lucky.

Speaker 61 (02:24:15):
Take the Lucky Strike programs starring Jack Benny with Mary
Levyson Hilarious Rochester, Dannis Say, the Sportsman, Portan.

Speaker 62 (02:24:31):
And yours Early Donald, Ladies and gentlemen.

Speaker 61 (02:24:47):
Tomorrow will be New Year's Eve, but Jack has invited
the gang over today for his annual pre New Year's celebration.
So let's go out to Jack's home in Beverly Hills,
where we find Rochester preparing for their arrive.

Speaker 4 (02:24:59):
Well, you say, I beg your finding. Then I'll come
back to you.

Speaker 8 (02:25:05):
When you ask me.

Speaker 4 (02:25:06):
Joe forgave you all the time.

Speaker 48 (02:25:09):
Rochester, right to swallows as around time to campus, Rochester.

Speaker 4 (02:25:16):
Huh oh hell.

Speaker 48 (02:25:18):
Boss, look Rochester, I appreciate your singing my song with
my gangle beer.

Speaker 26 (02:25:22):
Soon I want everything to be just right? How are
things coming along?

Speaker 4 (02:25:25):
Are loss fine?

Speaker 26 (02:25:27):
What about the egg nog you were going to prepare?

Speaker 7 (02:25:29):
Did you make it?

Speaker 5 (02:25:29):
Uh huh?

Speaker 26 (02:25:30):
How do you fix that egg nog? Rochester?

Speaker 4 (02:25:32):
Just age and bourbon?

Speaker 48 (02:25:34):
Of course, I'm not much of a kind of sewer
of drinks, but that seems rather strange to me.

Speaker 7 (02:25:38):
I don't know.

Speaker 33 (02:25:39):
I wonder why anyone would ever think of mixing eggs
and bourbon. It's psychological, boss, psychological.

Speaker 4 (02:25:46):
Yeah, you see, the egg makes you think you're getting
something very helpful. Uh huh, and the bourbon makes that
fact unimportant.

Speaker 26 (02:25:59):
Well sad cold. By the way, Rochester, how much eggnogg
did you make?

Speaker 27 (02:26:04):
Well?

Speaker 4 (02:26:05):
Cut it pretty closed?

Speaker 33 (02:26:06):
You're having five guest tonight, figuring if there's a little leftover,
I can always take it to a party I'm going
to tomorrow night.

Speaker 26 (02:26:13):
Good good? How much did you make?

Speaker 4 (02:26:15):
Fifty gallons?

Speaker 48 (02:26:20):
Fifty gallons? At Rochester? You've got a lot of someone
at the door.

Speaker 26 (02:26:24):
I'll get it. So they took the wheelbarrow. Who went
down the.

Speaker 33 (02:26:40):
Hello Jack, Hello Mary, you're the first one here.

Speaker 26 (02:26:42):
Come on in, say care?

Speaker 16 (02:26:44):
How come you're having this party in the afternoon? Every
other year you've had it the evening.

Speaker 48 (02:26:49):
Well, Mary, to tell you the truth, I have a
date tonight, a date with whom. Well, you know that
pretty French girl, Helene Francois. You know who was on
my last television show.

Speaker 33 (02:26:57):
Oh yes, gee, she's beautiful.

Speaker 48 (02:27:00):
Yeah, tonight I'm going to take her dancing. We're going
to Charlie Foy's nightclub, you know, the supper club. You
know what, Mary, this Helene Francoiss. She kind of likes me.

Speaker 18 (02:27:08):
Well, what makes you think so?

Speaker 5 (02:27:10):
Well?

Speaker 33 (02:27:10):
When I took her home in a cab, she kept
snuggling up to me and whispering in my ear.

Speaker 26 (02:27:15):
Vaux Chavou say.

Speaker 18 (02:27:17):
Shot, vau Chevou says shot.

Speaker 26 (02:27:23):
Yeah, I have to look that up.

Speaker 18 (02:27:24):
You don't have to.

Speaker 41 (02:27:25):
Why what does it mean you're to pay a slipping?
Oh well, at least she cares.

Speaker 16 (02:27:38):
I'll say one thing, Jack, she's a whole lot nice
and that girl used to go out with that that
Glady's Abisco.

Speaker 48 (02:27:44):
Now, wait a minute, Mary, Gladas Abisco is a swell girl.
She may not be the most beautiful girl in the world,
but she's got a nice figure.

Speaker 18 (02:27:51):
I know, But does she have to walk that way?

Speaker 12 (02:27:53):
Mary?

Speaker 26 (02:27:54):
That's not her fault.

Speaker 33 (02:27:55):
She's nearsighted and she anticipates the curb in the middle
of the block.

Speaker 26 (02:28:05):
So don't be critical.

Speaker 33 (02:28:06):
Now, come on, Mary, how about a glass of egg nog?

Speaker 5 (02:28:08):
Oh?

Speaker 7 (02:28:09):
Sure?

Speaker 27 (02:28:09):
Jack?

Speaker 5 (02:28:10):
Uh?

Speaker 16 (02:28:11):
Wait a minute, who made that eggnog?

Speaker 26 (02:28:13):
Rochester?

Speaker 7 (02:28:14):
Uh? Huh?

Speaker 5 (02:28:16):
Why?

Speaker 26 (02:28:16):
What's the matter?

Speaker 5 (02:28:17):
Well?

Speaker 16 (02:28:17):
Last New Year is I tasted the summer Rochester's eggnog, and.

Speaker 18 (02:28:20):
The next thing I knew, I was at the Rose Bowl.

Speaker 31 (02:28:23):
Oh you saw the game?

Speaker 14 (02:28:24):
Saw nothing.

Speaker 18 (02:28:25):
I was playing left tackle for Michigan.

Speaker 26 (02:28:29):
I'll stop kidding. I'll come on one, I'll get it.

Speaker 33 (02:28:35):
Hello, hold much of any of this? It Deennis? What
times the party start? Three o'clock? What time is it now?

Speaker 26 (02:28:41):
I'll half past one?

Speaker 2 (02:28:42):
Oh?

Speaker 33 (02:28:42):
Then, I guess I won't have enough time to shave.
Why should it take you an hour and a half
to shave? I haven't got the fuzzy yet. Oh, for
Heaven's save, it takes me three months to get a
five o'clock shadow.

Speaker 26 (02:29:00):
All right, all, and I hurry over here, goodbye, goodbye.
What a silly kid?

Speaker 33 (02:29:05):
Jack?

Speaker 7 (02:29:05):
Was that?

Speaker 18 (02:29:05):
Denni's on the telephone?

Speaker 33 (02:29:07):
Yeah, it was me, Denna's how'd you get here so quickly?

Speaker 5 (02:29:16):
Oh?

Speaker 33 (02:29:16):
I was on the extension in the kitchen. Oh, I
would have been here sooner, but I stopped to get
a coke out of the machine.

Speaker 48 (02:29:28):
Well, Dennis, how about having a glass of egg nod?

Speaker 33 (02:29:30):
Oh boy, eggnog. That's wait a minute, who made it?

Speaker 26 (02:29:34):
Rochester?

Speaker 33 (02:29:35):
Huh huh? Why not? Last year I tasted some of
Rochester's eggnog, and the next thing I knew, Mary was
playing in the Rose Bowl.

Speaker 7 (02:29:43):
Yeah I know, I know.

Speaker 26 (02:29:44):
And now look, kids, as soon as we come in, Oh, hello, Don.

Speaker 12 (02:29:49):
Hello Jack, Hello, Don All, I'm Mary, Dennis.

Speaker 33 (02:29:52):
Hello, come on in, Don, Don.

Speaker 48 (02:30:06):
I wish somebody would take him out in the wheelbarrows? Don, Don,
would you like a drink?

Speaker 26 (02:30:20):
I'll wear them at the Jack First, I want to
show you something.

Speaker 48 (02:30:23):
Why look, Don, you're wearing the cufflings I gave you
for Christmas.

Speaker 26 (02:30:29):
Isn't that nice?

Speaker 2 (02:30:30):
Don?

Speaker 16 (02:30:30):
You can take the card off. Everybody knows who gave.

Speaker 7 (02:30:32):
Them to you.

Speaker 61 (02:30:33):
Well, I'm not taking it off. I want to make
sure people know what a cheap gift Jack gave me.
Why Jack, I have been with you eighteen years, eighteen
years of loyalty and devotion, eighteen years without missing one program,
and you show your appreciation with a pair of lousy
dollar ninety eight cent coufflings.

Speaker 33 (02:30:56):
When talk about appreciation, what are you complaining about?

Speaker 5 (02:31:07):
That?

Speaker 33 (02:31:07):
Certainly wasn't such a hot gift. You sent me what
he send you, Jack.

Speaker 26 (02:31:10):
A gold watch, a wristwatch.

Speaker 18 (02:31:12):
Yet, what's wrong with a gold wrist watch?

Speaker 33 (02:31:15):
What's wrong with it?

Speaker 48 (02:31:16):
You walk down the street wearing an expensive thing like that,
somebody sees it, hits you over the head, takes it
away from you and your money too. That's what's wrong
with it. Anyway, Don, let's shake hands and forget the
whole thing.

Speaker 26 (02:31:29):
Okay, Jack, I'm sorry I lost my temper. That's all right.

Speaker 12 (02:31:32):
Don.

Speaker 33 (02:31:32):
By the way, would you like a glass of egg
non eggnoix?

Speaker 5 (02:31:35):
Say?

Speaker 26 (02:31:35):
That's one of my favorite Wait a minute, who made it? Rochester?

Speaker 2 (02:31:39):
Uh uh?

Speaker 33 (02:31:41):
What's the matter with Rochester's eggno Last.

Speaker 61 (02:31:43):
Year I tasted something the next thing I knew, Mary
and Dennis tackled me in the rose ball.

Speaker 33 (02:31:49):
Everybody comes in with the same come in hi text,
Hello everybody happy you.

Speaker 62 (02:31:56):
Weel happy fell Happy new year?

Speaker 5 (02:31:58):
Hey text?

Speaker 33 (02:31:58):
What's the idea switching this to a daylight affair? Don't
you trust us with the silver ware? That's not in
phil I'm going to a nightclub tonight. I got a
date with a girl. Well, what do you think a
horse would be? Oats are cheaper than orchids. Oh, Harris,

(02:32:20):
you may not be Montgomery Cliff, but you found your
plates in the sun. Well you can stop with those
jokes and find your place under the table.

Speaker 48 (02:32:32):
I even put a pillow there. How would you like
a glass of egg nock?

Speaker 33 (02:32:36):
Eggnock? Now you're talking buff defleep? Hey, wait a minute,
who made that Eggnox? Rochester?

Speaker 13 (02:32:43):
Leave me to.

Speaker 33 (02:32:50):
Rochester. Will you pour a glass of eggnock from mister Harris?

Speaker 12 (02:32:53):
Please?

Speaker 45 (02:32:54):
Yes, here you are?

Speaker 4 (02:33:05):
Thank you?

Speaker 13 (02:33:06):
Right?

Speaker 26 (02:33:08):
Hey, tell me, Roch, I make this egg now?

Speaker 4 (02:33:11):
I used one egg to five quarts of bourbon.

Speaker 41 (02:33:15):
Check.

Speaker 33 (02:33:16):
Well, here's down the hats.

Speaker 4 (02:33:34):
What happened?

Speaker 33 (02:33:35):
I'm sure that egg was fresh. It's fresh, it's fresh. Well,
here goes.

Speaker 2 (02:33:53):
Well Fell?

Speaker 33 (02:33:53):
How do you like it? Fell? How do you like it?

Speaker 5 (02:33:56):
Hey?

Speaker 7 (02:33:56):
Jackson?

Speaker 4 (02:33:57):
What are you doing here at the Rolls Balls? What
come on, Wilber, I mean stamping.

Speaker 33 (02:34:04):
I'm not at the Rose Bowl yet. Rochester, pour me
a ticket now, Dennis.

Speaker 12 (02:34:09):
You want me to go in? Coach?

Speaker 33 (02:34:11):
I said, you want me to go in coach, Yeah yeah,
report to the referee and sing a song?

Speaker 13 (02:34:15):
Okay for me to sing while were you every day spraying?

Speaker 7 (02:34:42):
While were you.

Speaker 2 (02:34:47):
No time?

Speaker 5 (02:34:52):
Ye?

Speaker 33 (02:34:53):
Fine?

Speaker 7 (02:34:54):
For fine.

Speaker 5 (02:34:57):
O hands and sweet? Oh it may be just or to.

Speaker 27 (02:35:10):
The share all we.

Speaker 2 (02:35:18):
While we may.

Speaker 19 (02:35:23):
Oh sweet surprise mines before while we're your share all well,

(02:35:51):
while we may.

Speaker 13 (02:35:57):
Oh ay.

Speaker 27 (02:36:02):
Wait from.

Speaker 19 (02:36:06):
Mine before.

Speaker 48 (02:36:31):
Oh I have a swell Dennis, Well, kids, I have
to leave soon to take Helene Francois to Charlie.

Speaker 26 (02:36:36):
Boys. Would any of you like to join us?

Speaker 5 (02:36:38):
Thanks?

Speaker 26 (02:36:38):
Jack, but I can't make it.

Speaker 33 (02:36:39):
No, me neither.

Speaker 26 (02:36:40):
I'd like to go to Chack good good. How about you?

Speaker 7 (02:36:42):
Dennis?

Speaker 33 (02:36:43):
Well, you're fine. I'll take Mary okay, say Mary? Will
you give me a kiss when I take you home?

Speaker 18 (02:36:48):
I don't know, Dennis. I'll think about it.

Speaker 33 (02:36:50):
We'll think fastest. I'm blowing my door for nothing. You're
blowing that line, though, Jackson. What are you going out
tonight for? Why don't you wait to lamorrow night? That's
New Year's Eve?

Speaker 41 (02:37:08):
No?

Speaker 26 (02:37:08):
No, I never go out on New Year's Eve?

Speaker 4 (02:37:11):
Say boss, why don't you do something different this year.

Speaker 12 (02:37:13):
And go out?

Speaker 5 (02:37:13):
No?

Speaker 26 (02:37:13):
I'm gonna do what I always do, and spend it
at home. New Year's Eve at home.

Speaker 4 (02:37:18):
Yeah, five minutes to twelve. I tipped up and mister
Barry's room. Wake him up. He blows a horn, falls
back on the pillow and that's it.

Speaker 26 (02:37:27):
Yeah, what are you laughing at?

Speaker 5 (02:37:31):
Barry?

Speaker 7 (02:37:32):
Thirty nine?

Speaker 48 (02:37:32):
He says, all right, alright, look, kids, I gotta leave
now and pick up Miss Francois. Come on, Mary Dennis,
let's go.

Speaker 33 (02:37:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 26 (02:37:51):
I like it here, Charlie. Boys, don't you marry?

Speaker 29 (02:37:53):
Yeah?

Speaker 14 (02:37:53):
But Jack, you'll never get a table.

Speaker 26 (02:37:54):
It's too crowded.

Speaker 8 (02:37:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 33 (02:37:56):
Look at those people in that little room. Boy, they
jammed together.

Speaker 26 (02:37:59):
That's the cold. Those are colts.

Speaker 33 (02:38:04):
I wondered why they didn't have their pants on.

Speaker 26 (02:38:09):
Never mind, I'll get a table.

Speaker 33 (02:38:11):
Come on, Helene, boone voo accompany MOI U tablas ol.

Speaker 14 (02:38:18):
Just to see.

Speaker 33 (02:38:29):
Now, let's see.

Speaker 26 (02:38:30):
Where's the head waiter?

Speaker 5 (02:38:31):
Oh?

Speaker 33 (02:38:31):
Garsoon, Garsole?

Speaker 17 (02:38:33):
Oh do you do?

Speaker 33 (02:38:38):
Are you the head waiter? And no, I'm wearing this
flower in my lapel because I'm going to be a
float in the rose. Don't be sarcastic.

Speaker 26 (02:38:51):
I'd like to get a table for four.

Speaker 33 (02:38:53):
Well, thank heavens, you didn't ask for five Why I
wouldn't sit.

Speaker 4 (02:38:57):
With you for a million dollars.

Speaker 26 (02:39:01):
I'll cut that out and get us a table.

Speaker 4 (02:39:02):
All right, puddle me Come on kids.

Speaker 26 (02:39:07):
Here you are to say this is a pretty good
table at that, isn't it? Helene?

Speaker 33 (02:39:12):
It's rasulty shitty and you prove a while it's sick sack.

Speaker 26 (02:39:15):
Oh we we she was a crowd. Wait a minute,
where's Dennis rate to behind you? Mohelle?

Speaker 33 (02:39:28):
We'll sit down and let's order, said fider Mad for
fire mad.

Speaker 7 (02:39:35):
Have you seen my wife?

Speaker 26 (02:39:38):
No, no, we haven't seen her.

Speaker 57 (02:39:40):
Oh well, thank you.

Speaker 33 (02:39:42):
Her the same deal. Well, something's gonna happen here. I
know your ladies and gentlemen, this says Jesse Block. You're
master at ceremonies for the evening. No, gent a minute,
we're gonna have some dancing while we orchestra is setting up.

(02:40:03):
I've got a little.

Speaker 31 (02:40:04):
Joke for it.

Speaker 26 (02:40:04):
Listen to this, Helene. He's gonna tell a joke.

Speaker 33 (02:40:06):
Funny thing happened here in the club last night.

Speaker 26 (02:40:08):
You know, this is a pretty ritchy place.

Speaker 33 (02:40:10):
And last night I saw a waiter carrying something on
a flaming sword. So I asked him what it was,
and he said a customary only left a dime tipping.

Speaker 7 (02:40:22):
Today.

Speaker 26 (02:40:22):
That was a pretty good joke, wasn't Mary?

Speaker 33 (02:40:24):
What joke?

Speaker 16 (02:40:24):
I was here when the fire department came in and
squirted water on you.

Speaker 26 (02:40:32):
Oh stop?

Speaker 33 (02:40:34):
Are you having a good time?

Speaker 13 (02:40:35):
Helene?

Speaker 33 (02:40:36):
Oh?

Speaker 7 (02:40:36):
Wee?

Speaker 14 (02:40:36):
So that from your work.

Speaker 5 (02:40:42):
Is your Oh?

Speaker 33 (02:40:44):
Really?

Speaker 18 (02:40:48):
What does she say? Jack?

Speaker 48 (02:40:49):
I don't know something about how badly she feels that
Joe DiMaggio is retiring.

Speaker 26 (02:40:56):
Why I don't know.

Speaker 48 (02:41:00):
Well, I guess we're gonna have dancing before the show starts.

Speaker 33 (02:41:02):
Hey, Mary, you want to dance with me?

Speaker 7 (02:41:04):
Oh?

Speaker 18 (02:41:04):
Sure, Dennis, Gee, you're as well dancer.

Speaker 7 (02:41:10):
Mary.

Speaker 16 (02:41:11):
Well, thanks, Dennis, but don't hold me so tight.

Speaker 33 (02:41:14):
Okay, say lebby, have you ever thought about getting married?

Speaker 52 (02:41:17):
What?

Speaker 33 (02:41:18):
My mother will up my allowance?

Speaker 16 (02:41:21):
Dennis?

Speaker 18 (02:41:21):
Stop being silly?

Speaker 33 (02:41:22):
If you turn me down off kill myself.

Speaker 14 (02:41:27):
Well, give me a little time to think it over.

Speaker 12 (02:41:29):
Okay, but not too long.

Speaker 33 (02:41:30):
There are a lot of dames nuts about me. I know,
I know.

Speaker 63 (02:41:33):
Oh yeah, name one, Dennis. Look, just be quiet and dance, Helene.

Speaker 26 (02:41:45):
You know I'm so glad you're with me tonight.

Speaker 17 (02:41:47):
I am glad too, shitty, you know this.

Speaker 48 (02:41:49):
Is the first time I oh, Helene, there's a fellow
coming over the table who seems to know you.

Speaker 17 (02:41:53):
Well, oh we.

Speaker 26 (02:41:57):
He before we see a puppy dediccaus that you also
to let go.

Speaker 64 (02:42:00):
That's come on, they use cephonymore, Helene, who was that
Mexico's and blue.

Speaker 33 (02:42:24):
Maxie Rosenblum.

Speaker 48 (02:42:27):
Oh I didn't recognize him. The beret covers up his
polyflower ear. Imagine meeting a.

Speaker 33 (02:42:37):
Wife.

Speaker 26 (02:42:38):
No, no, we haven't.

Speaker 33 (02:42:39):
Oh, thank you, Royal.

Speaker 8 (02:42:45):
Helen.

Speaker 26 (02:42:46):
Look there's the quartet getting up. Look at they're going
to say?

Speaker 33 (02:42:54):
Ask me, how do I be lasting?

Speaker 5 (02:42:56):
Now? The precosi and clean?

Speaker 7 (02:43:00):
Well, sir, all I can say, is a fire of
a fallaity.

Speaker 33 (02:43:04):
Ringing from the moment being kissed tonight.

Speaker 5 (02:43:09):
That's the way I just gotta behave.

Speaker 8 (02:43:12):
Or if I were a lamp I.

Speaker 33 (02:43:14):
Lie or afire or a banner away, ask me how.

Speaker 27 (02:43:19):
I feel now that you will be here tomorrow?

Speaker 7 (02:43:24):
Well, sir, all I can say, if I needed some money,
i'd fi.

Speaker 5 (02:43:30):
And if I were a once I sha pop in my.

Speaker 7 (02:43:33):
Spree, or if I were a fell thing dong.

Speaker 13 (02:43:39):
Ding dong dye.

Speaker 5 (02:43:42):
Ask me why do I choose that respect from our
real smoking pleasure?

Speaker 7 (02:43:47):
Well, sir, all I can say. It's a one cigarette
that I treasure.

Speaker 5 (02:43:54):
From the moment I took one puff.

Speaker 12 (02:43:57):
I was lucky.

Speaker 13 (02:43:57):
It's little me.

Speaker 33 (02:44:00):
Here's a cigarette.

Speaker 18 (02:44:01):
Stewry now that is found and its fern as can be.

Speaker 26 (02:44:05):
That's one millions of men.

Speaker 7 (02:44:07):
All we say it's for luck.

Speaker 4 (02:44:08):
You say yearning.

Speaker 33 (02:44:11):
So if I I were a match boy, I know
that I surely.

Speaker 20 (02:44:14):
Did burning.

Speaker 33 (02:44:17):
And firest Here's what I'd be. I'd be happy, go
lucky like ass.

Speaker 26 (02:44:42):
I gotta sit now, I'm kids. We better order something
to a waiter. Waiter.

Speaker 33 (02:44:47):
I think I'll have a ham sandwich, yes, Helene, Helene,
what do you have?

Speaker 7 (02:44:53):
Oh?

Speaker 17 (02:44:53):
Hello, the d CD to comes. If you do, you know,
I'm let to shopping you. I love him. Salomonier in
Bugi in s advice.

Speaker 44 (02:45:07):
What was that.

Speaker 33 (02:45:13):
She said she wants mustard on her sandwear a waiter?

Speaker 26 (02:45:18):
Change my order.

Speaker 33 (02:45:19):
I think I'll have crab.

Speaker 26 (02:45:20):
Louis Dennis, Uh, tell him what you want.

Speaker 33 (02:45:23):
I'll have spaghetti Louis. Spaghetti Louis. I thought that was
the waiter's name. Of course, now it is too.

Speaker 8 (02:45:40):
Louis.

Speaker 4 (02:45:40):
You know, spaghetti spaghetti. I'm just stringing you alone.

Speaker 33 (02:45:54):
What a crazy guy, f mad mak fire rag. No, No,
we haven't seen your wife. Well, if you ever do,
you'll know how I'm drunk. What say Mary? Before we
suppose you and I have the name, Oh, go away,

(02:46:20):
ladies and gentlemen. Before we start our gala floor show,
I'd like to say that we're honored tonight by having
with us a very famous celebrity.

Speaker 26 (02:46:28):
Oh I wish they wouldn't do that.

Speaker 33 (02:46:31):
Now, this gentleman whom you all love is a very
popular star of stage, screen, radio and now television.

Speaker 26 (02:46:38):
Mary, give me your call.

Speaker 33 (02:46:39):
Yeah, so I take great pleasure in presenting to you
that popular idol of millions, Rodney Dangerfield.

Speaker 26 (02:46:54):
Here's your call, Mary.

Speaker 33 (02:47:01):
When you've all seen mister Dangerfield knows outstanding Western pictures,
and with a little encouragement, maybe we can get him
to say a few words.

Speaker 6 (02:47:12):
Thank you, folks, Thank you kindly. It sure is a
thrill and a pleasure to meet so many of my fans.

Speaker 2 (02:47:20):
What I am?

Speaker 6 (02:47:21):
And I'd like to say that my next picture, Whole
Bodys Goes West, He's going to be even better than
my last picture, The Cactus Blooms at Midnight.

Speaker 26 (02:47:41):
He stole that from me.

Speaker 6 (02:47:44):
And now friends, I'd like to introduce my cold star,
who's right here at the table with me.

Speaker 4 (02:47:51):
Take a bow?

Speaker 20 (02:47:52):
Does a faint?

Speaker 12 (02:47:56):
How do you like that?

Speaker 26 (02:47:57):
Even brought his horse, Helene, give me your handkerchief. Thanks.

Speaker 4 (02:48:06):
Anyway, you folks didn't come to hear me talk all.

Speaker 18 (02:48:10):
Night, so I just wanted would you please put your
autograph on this menu?

Speaker 5 (02:48:15):
Why?

Speaker 4 (02:48:15):
Certainly, miss.

Speaker 6 (02:48:27):
So, folks, I just want to wish you a very
happy and prosperous new year.

Speaker 48 (02:48:37):
Imagine introducing a ham like Rodney Dangerfield. Come on, kids,
let's get out of here.

Speaker 18 (02:48:41):
Jack, we ordered food.

Speaker 26 (02:48:42):
I don't care what we order. Let them give it
to the horse.

Speaker 33 (02:48:45):
I'm going hal Come on, Helene, I wouldn't stay here,
Ladies and gentlemen. We have another celebrity with us tonight,
none other than that very famous star.

Speaker 16 (02:48:54):
Jack for me, Well, are you gonna stay out?

Speaker 13 (02:49:02):
Jack?

Speaker 33 (02:49:03):
Certainly?

Speaker 26 (02:49:03):
What are you mad about?

Speaker 48 (02:49:06):
Saddan Helene, Ladies and gentlemen, Master of ceremonies, my worthy colleague,
mister Dangerfield man, why don't you turn your head, Ladies
and gentlemen, for a moment. I want you to forget
that I'm Jack Benny. That's scintillating star of stage, screen, radio,

(02:49:30):
and now television.

Speaker 33 (02:49:32):
I want to talk to you as one of your friends.
I want to take this opportunity to wish all of
you and yours and everybody all over the world good
health and happiness throughout the year.

Speaker 13 (02:49:44):
And now I like to.

Speaker 33 (02:49:46):
Desert about my next.

Speaker 2 (02:49:50):
My next back.

Speaker 62 (02:49:58):
What if I can go to Mama but worse.

Speaker 7 (02:50:04):
To be happy?

Speaker 5 (02:50:05):
Go Lucky get better taste today.

Speaker 60 (02:50:08):
Lucky's taste better, so mild, so smooth, so firm and fresh,
with better taste in every puff. Yes, friends, Lucky's taste
better because they're fine, mild, good tasting tobacco goes into
the cigarette. Proved the best made of all five principal brands.
Let me repeat that, proved the best made of all

(02:50:31):
five principal brands. That's not an empty claim. That's a
fact verified by leading laboratory consultants, for example Foster D.

Speaker 26 (02:50:41):
Snell of New York City, who report.

Speaker 60 (02:50:43):
In our opinion, the property is measured are all important
factors affecting the taste of cigarette smoke. We conclude that
Lucky Strike is the best made of the five major brands.
And don't forget LSMFT. Lucky Strike means fine tobacco, fine mild,
good tasting tobacco. There's no substitute for fine tobacco, and

(02:51:06):
don't let anybody tells you different.

Speaker 26 (02:51:08):
So don't be misled by double talk. Remember the facts.

Speaker 60 (02:51:12):
Enjoy fine, mild, good tasting tobacco and the cigarette that
tastes better lucky strike. When you buy cigarettes, remember luckies
tastes better.

Speaker 33 (02:51:26):
To be happy the lucky, the lucky strike.

Speaker 26 (02:51:30):
Thoo, ladies and gentlemen.

Speaker 33 (02:51:38):
Soon it will be nineteen fifty two, and I would
like to wish all of you prosperity and happiness for
the coming year. But let us all hold foremost the
thought that nineteen fifty two will bring better understanding between
nations and peace to the world.

Speaker 26 (02:51:54):
Happy New Year, folks.

Speaker 12 (02:51:56):
Subscribe. This is the CDs Regel.

Speaker 1 (02:51:58):
Network that was us the Jack Benny Show from December thirtieth,

(02:52:23):
nineteen fifty one, titled as a New Year's Eve Date
with a French Girl. Well, that's it for the air
Checks episode for this week, and we hope we see
you next year with more episodes. Airchecks is a three
hour podcast uploaded every Saturday, as well as broadcast every
Sunday on the k TI Radio network. See you at
the same time and same channel

Speaker 27 (02:53:21):
That some thing