Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Chapter 8

Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Chapter 8

Episode Transcript

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This is a LibriVox recording. AllLibriVox recordings are in the public domain.
For more information or to volunteer,visit LibriVox dot org. Alice's Adventures in
Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, Chapter eight, The Queen's croquet Ground. A large
rose tree stood near the entrance ofthe garden. The roses growing on it

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were white, but there were threegardeners at it, busily painting them red.
Alice thought this a very curious thing, and she went nearer to watch
them, And just as she cameup to them, she heard one of
them say, look out, now, Five, don't go splashing paint all
over me like that. I couldn'thelp it, said five, in a
sulky tone. Seven jogged my elbow, on which seven looked up and said,

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that's right. Five. Always laythe blame on others. You'd better
not talk, said five. Iheard the queen say only yesterday, you
deserve to be beheaded. What for? Said the one who had spoken first.
That's none of your business, too, said seven. Yes, it
is his business, said five,and I'll tell him it was for bringing

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the cook tulip brutes instead of onions. Seven flung down his brush, and
had just begun well of all theunjust things, when his eye chanced to
fall upon Alice as she stood watchingthem, and he checked himself. Suddenly
the others looked round also, andall of them bowed low. Would you

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tell me, said Alice a littletimidly, Why are you painting those roses?
Five and seven said nothing, butlooked at two. Two began in
a low voice. Why the factis, you see, miss, this
year ought to have been a redrose tree, and we put a white
one in by mistake. And ifthe Queen was to find out, we

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should all have our heads cut off, you know. So you see,
miss, we're doing our best beforeshe comes to At this moment, five,
who'd been anxious looking across the garden, called out the Queen. The
queen and the three gardeners instantly threwthemselves flat upon their faces. There was
a sound of many footsteps, andAlice looked round, eager to see the

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queen. First came ten soldiers carryingclubs. They were all shaped like the
three gardeners, oblong and flat,with their hands and feet at the corners.
Next the ten courtiers. These wereornamented all over with diamonds and walked
two and two as the soldiers did. After these came the royal children,
there were ten of them, andthe little deers came, jumping merrily along

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hand in hand in couples. Theywere all ornamented with hearts. Next came
the guests, mostly kings and queens, and among them Alice recognized the white
rabbit. It was talking in ahurried, nervous manner, smiling at everything
that was said, and went bywithout noticing her. Then followed the Knave
of Hearts, carrying the king's crownon a crimson velvet cushion. And last

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of all this grand procession came theQueen of Hearts. Alice was rather doubtful
whether she ought not lie down onher face like the three gardeners, but
she could not remember ever having heardof such a rule of processions, And
besides, what would be the useof a procession, thought she if people
all had to lie down upon theirfaces so they couldn't see it. So
she stood still where she was andwaited. When the procession came opposite to

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Alice, they all stopped and lookedat her, and the Queen said severely,
who is this? She said itto the Knave of Hearts, who
only bowed and smiled in reply.Idiot, said the Queen, tossing her
head impatiently, and turning to Alice, she went on, what's your name?
Child? My name is Alice,so please your majesty, said Alice
very politely. But she added toherself, why they're only a pack of

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cards, after all, I needn'tbe afraid of them. And who are
these? Said the queen, pointingto the three gardeners who were lying round
the rose tree. For you see, as they were all lying on their
faces and the pattern on their backswas the same as the rest of the
past, she could not tell whetherthey were her gardeners, or soldiers,
or courtiers, or three of herown children. How should I know,

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said Alice, surprised at her owncourage. It's no business of mine.
The Queen turned crimson with fury,and, after glaring at her for a
moment like a wild beast, screamedoff with her head off. Nonsense,
said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen was silent. The
King laid his hand upon her armand timidly said, consider, my dear,

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she is only a child. TheQueen turned angrily away from him and
said to the knave, turn themover. The knave did so, very
carefully with one foot. Get up, said the Queen in a shrill,
loud voice, and the three gardenersinstantly jumped up and began bowing to the
King, the Queen, the royalchildren and everybody else. Leave off that,

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screamed the Queen. You make megiddy, and then turning to the
rose tree, she went on,what have you been doing here? Nay,
please, Your Majesty said too,in a very humble tone, going
down on one knee as he spoke. We were trying, I see,
said the Queen, who had meanwhilebeen examining the roses off with their heads,

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and the procession moved on. Threeof the soldiers remaining behind to execute
the unfortunate gardeners, who ran toAlice for protection. You shan't be beheaded,
said Alice, and she put theminto a large flower pot that stood
near The three soldiers wandered about fora minute or two looking for them,
and then quietly marched off. Afterthe others. Are their heads off,
shouted the Queen. Their heads aregone. If it please your majesty.

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The soldiers shouted in reply. That'sright, shouted the queen. Can you
play croquet? The soldiers were silentand looked at Alice as the question was
evidently meant for her. Yes,shouted Alice. Come on, then roared
the Queen. And Alice joined theprocession, wondering very much what would happen
next. It's a very fine day, said a timid voice at her side.

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She was walking by the white rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her
face. Very said Alice, where'sthe duchess? Sh sh said the rabbit
in a low, hurried tone.He looked anxiously over his shoulder as he
spoke, and then raised himself upontiptoe, put his mouth close to her
ear, and whispered, She's undersentence of execution. What for, said

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Alice? Did you say what apity? The rabbit asked, No,
I didn't, said Alice. Idon't think it's at all a pity.
I said, what for? Sheboxed the Queen's ears. The rabbit began.
Alice gave a little scream of laughter. Oh hush, the rabbit whispered
in a frightened tone. The queenhear you, you see, she came

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rather late, and the queen said, get to your places, shouted the
queen in a voice of thunder,and people began running about in all directions,
tumbling up against each other. However, they got settled down in a
minute or two and the game began. Alice thought she had never seen such
a curious croquet ground in her life. It was all ridges and furrows.
The balls were live hedgehogs, themallets live flamingoes, and the soldiers had

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to double themselves up and to standon their hands and feet to make the
arches. The chief difficulty Alice foundat first was in managing her flamingo.
She succeeded in getting its body tuckedaway comfortably enough under her arm, with
its legs hanging down, but generally, just as she got its neck nicely
straightened out and was going to givethe hedgehog a blow with its head,
it would twist itself round and lookup in her face with such a puzzled

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expression that she could not help burstingout laughing. And when she got its
head down and she was going tobegin again, it was very provoking to
find that the hedgehog had unrolled itselfand was in the act of crawling away.
Besides all this, there was generallya ridge or furrow in the way
wherever she wanted to send the hedgehogto, and as the doubled up soldiers
were always getting up and walking offto other parts of the ground, Alice

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soon came to the conclusion that itwas a very difficult game. Indeed,
the players all played at once withoutwaiting for turns, quarreling all the while
and fighting for the hedgehogs, Andin a very short time the queen was
in a furious fashion and went stampingabout and shouting off with his head off
with her head about once in aminute. Alice began to feel very uneasy.

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To be sure, she had notas yet had any dispute with the
queen, but she knew that itmight happen any minute, and then thought
she what would become of me?They're dreadfully fond of be heading people here.
The great wonder is that there's anyoneleft alive. She was looking about
for some way of escape and wonderingwhether she could get away without being seen,
when she noticed a curious appearance inthe air. It puzzled her very

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much at first, but after watchingit a minute or two, she made
it out to be a grin,and she said to herself, it's the
chesher cat. Now I shall havesomebody to talk to. How are you
getting on? Said the cat,as soon as there was mouth enough for
it to speak with. Alice waitedtill the eyes appeared, and then nodded.
It's no use speaking to it,she thought, till its years have

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come, or at least one ofthem. In an other minute, the
whole head appeared, and then Aliceput down her flamingo and began an account
of the game, feeling very gladshe had someone to listen to her.
The cat seemed to think that therewas enough of it now in sight,
and no more of it appeared.I don't think they play at all fairly,
Alice began, in rather a complainingtone. And they all quarrel so

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dreadfully. One can't hear one's selfspeak. And they don't seem to have
any rules in particular, at leastif there are, nobody attends to them.
And you've no idea how confusing itis all the things being alive.
For instance, there's the arch I'vegot to go through next walking about at
the other end of the ground,And I should have crockaded the queen's hedgehog
just now, only it ran awaywhen it saw mine coming. How do

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you like the queen, said thecat in a low voice. Not at
all, said Alice. She's soextremely Just then she noticed that the Queen
was close behind her, listening,so she went on likely to win,
that it's hardly worth while finishing thegame. The queen smiled and passed on.
Who are you talking to, saidthe king, going up to Alice

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and looking at the cat's head withgreat curiosity. It's a friend of mine,
a cheshire cat, said Alice.Allow me to introduce it. I
don't like the look of it atall, said the king. However,
it may kiss my hand if itlikes I'd rather not. The cat remarked.
Don't be impertinent, said the king, and don't look at me like
that. He got behind Alice ashe spoke. A cat may look at

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a king, said Alice. I'veread that in some book, but I
don't remember where. Well, itmust be removed, said the king very
decidedly, and he called the queen, who was passing at the moment,
my dear I wish you would havethis cat removed. The queen had only
one way of settling all difficulties greator small. Off with his head,

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she said, without even looking round. I'll fetch the executioner myself, said
the king eagerly, and he hurriedoff. Alice thought she might as well
go back and see how the gamewas going on, as she heard the
queen's voice in the distance, screamingwith passion. She'd already heard her sentence
three of the players to be executedfor having missed their turns, and she
did not like the look of thingsat all, as the game was in

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such confusion that she never knew whetherit was her turn or not, so
she went in search of her hedgehog. The hedgehog was engaged in a fight
with another hedgehog, which seemed toAlice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one of
them with the other. The onlydifficulty was that her flamingo was gone across
to the other side of the garden, where Alice could see it trying in
a helpless sort of way to flyup into a tree. By the time

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she had caught the flamingo and broughtit back, the fight was over and
both the hedgehogs were out of sight. But it doesn't matter much, thought
Alice, as all the arches aregone from the side of the ground,
so she tucked it away under herarm that it might not escape again,
and went back for a little moreconversation with her friend. When she got
back to the Cheshire Cat, shewas surprised to find quite a large crowd

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collected around it. There was adispute going on between the executioner, the
King, and the Queen, whowere all talking at once, while all
the rest were quite silent and lookedvery uncomfortable the moment Alice appeared, she
was appealed to by all three tosettle the question, and they repeated their
arguments to her, though as theyall spoke at once, she found it
very hard indeed to make out exactlywhat they said. The executioner's argument was

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you couldn't cut off a head unlessthere was a body to cut it off
from, that he had never hadto do such a thing before, and
he wasn't going to begin at histime of life. The King's argument was
that anything that had a head couldbe beheaded, and that you weren't to
talk nonsense. The Queen's argument wasthat if something wasn't done about it,
in less than no time, she'dhad everybody executed all around. It was

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this last remark that had made thewhole party look so grave and anxious.
Alice could think of nothing else tosay. But it belongs to the Duchess.
You'd better ask her about it.She's in prison, the queen said
to the executioner, fetch her here, and the executioner went off like an
arrow. The cat's head began fadingaway the moment he was gone, and

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by the time he had come backwith the Duchess, it had entirely disappeared.
So the king and the executioner ranwildly up and down looking for it,
while the rest of the party wentback to the game. End of
chapter eight read by Kristen mc quillan, Tokyo, Japan, December fifteenth,
two thousand five.