Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Chapter 6

Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Chapter 6

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
This is a LibriVox recording. AllLibriVox recordings are in the public domain.
For more information or to volunteer,please visit LibriVox dot org. This reading
by Razas Shah Alice's Adventures in Wonderlandby Lewis Carroll, chapter six, Pig
and Pepper. For a minute ortwo she stood looking at the house and

(00:22):
wondering what to do next, whensuddenly a footman and livery came running out
of the wood. She considered hima footman because he was in livery,
Otherwise, judging by his face only, she would have called him a fish,
and rapped loudly at the door withhis knuckles. It was opened by
another footman in livery, with around face in large eyes like a frog,
and both footmen, Alice noticed,had powdered hair and curls all over

(00:42):
their head. She felt very curiousto know what it was all about,
and crept a little way out ofthe wood to listen. The fish footman
began by producing from under his arma great letter, nearly as large as
himself, and this he handed overto the other, saying in a solemn
tone for the Duchess an invitation fromthe queen to play croquet, The frog
footman repeated, in the same solemntone, only changing the order of the

(01:03):
words a little from the queen aninvitation for the duchess to play croquet.
Then they both bowed, and theircurls got entangled together. Alice laughed so
much of this that she had torun back into the wood for fear of
their hearing her. And when shenext peeped out, the fish footman was
gone, and the other was sittingon the ground near the door, staring
stupidly up into the sky. Alicewent timidly up to the door and knocked.

(01:26):
There's no sort of use in knocking, said the footman, and that
for two reasons, First because Iam on the same side of the door
as you. Secondly, because they'remaking such a noise inside that no one
could possibly hear you. And certainlythere was a most extraordinary noise going on
within, a constant howling and sneezing, and every now and then a great
crash, as if a dish ora kettle had been broken to pieces.

(01:48):
Please, then, said Alice,how am I to get in? There
might be some sense in your knocking. The footman went on without attending to
her. If we had a doorbetween us, for instance, if you
were inside, you might knock andI could let you out. You know,
he was looking up into the skyall the time he was speaking,
and this, Alice thought, decidedlyand civil. But perhaps he can't help
it, she said to herself.His eyes are so very nearly at the

(02:09):
top of his head. But atany rate he might answer questions. How
am I to get in? Sherepeated aloud. I shall sit here,
the footman remarked, till tomorrow.At this moment, the door of the
house opened and a large plate cameskimming out straight for the footman's head.
It just grazed his nose and broketo pieces against one of the trees behind

(02:30):
him. Or next day maybe,The footman continued in the same tone,
exactly as if nothing had happened.How am I to get in? Asked
Alice, in a louder tone.Are you to get in at all?
Said the footman, that's the firstquestion, you know, It was no
doubt. Only Alice did not liketo be told. So it's really dreadful,

(02:50):
she muttered to herself, The wayall these creatures argue, it's enough
to drive one crazy. The footmanseemed to think this a good opportunity for
repeating his remark with I shall sithere, he said, on and off
for days and days. But whatam I to do, said Alice.
Anything you like, said the footman, and began whistling. Oh, there's
no use in talking to him,said Alice desperately. He's perfectly idiotic,

(03:15):
and then opened the door and wentin. The door led right into a
large kitchen which was full of smokefrom one end to the other. The
Duchess was sitting on a three leggedstool in the middle, nursing a baby.
The cook was leaning over the fire, stirring a large caldron, which
seemed to be full of soup.There's certainly too much pepper in that soup,
Alice said to herself, as wellas she could. For sneezing,

(03:35):
there certainly was too much of itin the air. Even the Duchess sneezed
occasionally, and as for the baby, was sneezing and howling alternately without a
moment's pause. The only two creaturesin the kitchen that did not sneeze were
the cook and the large cat,which was laying on the hearth and grinning
from ear to ear. Please,would you tell me, said Alice,
a little timidly, for she wasnot quite sure whether it was good manners
for her to speak. First,Why you are cat grins like that?

(04:00):
It's a Cheshire cat, said theDuchess, and that's why pig. She
said the last word with such suddenviolence that Alice quite jumped, But she
saw in another moment that it wasaddressed to the baby and not to her,
so she took courage and went onagain. I didn't know that Cheshire
cats always grinned. In fact,I didn't know that cats could grin.

(04:20):
They all can, said the Duchess, And most of them do. I
don't know any that do, saidAlice, very politely, feeling quite pleased
to have gotten into a conversation.You don't know much, said the Duchess,
and that's a fact. Alice didnot like it all the tone of
this remark, and thought it wouldbe as well to introduce some other subject
of conversation. While she was tryingto fix on one, the cook took

(04:42):
the cauldron of soup off the fireand at once set to work, throwing
everything within her reach at the Duchessand the baby. The fire irons came
first, then followed a shower ofsaucepans, plates, and dishes. The
duchess took no notice of them evenwhen they hit her, and the baby
was howling so much already that itwas quite impossible to seay say whether the
blows hurt it or not. Oh, please, mind what you're doing,

(05:03):
cried Alex, jumping up and downan agony of terror. Oh there goes
as precious nose as an unusually largesaucepan flew by, and very nearly carried
it off. If everybody minded theirown business, said the duchess in a
horse growl. The world would goaround a deal faster than it does,
which would not be an advantage,said Alice, who felt very glad to

(05:24):
get an opportunity of showing off alittle of her knowledge. Just think of
what work it would make for theday and night. You see, the
earth takes twenty four hours to turnaround on its axis. Talking of axis,
said the duchess, chop off herhead. Alice glanced rather anxiously at
the cook to see if she meantto take the hint, but the cook
was busily stirring the soup and seemednot to be listening. She went on

(05:45):
again, twenty four hours, Ithink, or is it twelve? I
oh, don't bother me, saidthe Duchess. I never could abide figures.
And with this she began nursing thechild again, singing a sort of
lallaby to it as she did so, and giving a violent shake at the
end of every line. Speak roughlyto your little boy, and beat him
when he sneezes. He only doesit to annoy because he knows it teases.

(06:10):
And then the chorus, in whichthe cook and the baby joined Wow
Wow Wow. While the Duchess sangthe second verse of the song, she
kept tossing the baby violently up anddown, and the poor little thing howled
so that Alice could hardly hear thewords, I speak severely to my boy
and beat him when he sneezes,for he can thoroughly enjoy the pepper when
he pleases. Wow wow wow.Here you might nurse it a bit if

(06:35):
you like, the Duchess said toAlice, flinging the baby at her as
she spoke. I must go andget ready to play croquet with the Queen.
And she hurried out the room,and the cook threw a frying pan
after her she went, but justmissed her. Alice caught the baby with
some difficulty, as it was aqueer shaped little creature and held out its
arms and legs in all directions,just like a starfish, thought Alice.

(06:57):
The poor little thing was snorting likea steam engine when she and kept doubling
itself up and straightening itself out again, so that altogether for the first minute
or two, it was as muchas she could do to hold it.
As soon as she had made outthe proper way of nursing it, which
was to twist it up in asort of knot, and then keep tight
hold of its rear end and leftfoot so as to prevent its undoing itself,
she carried it into the open air. If I don't take this child

(07:20):
away from me, thought Alice,they're sure to kill it in a day
or two. Wouldn't it be murderto leave it behind? She said the
last words out loud, and thelittle thing grunted in reply. It had
left aw sneezing by this time.Don't grunt, said Alice. That's not
at all a proper way of expressingyourself. The baby grunted, again,
and Alice looked very anxiously into itsface to see what was the matter with

(07:41):
it. There could be no doubtthat it had a very turn up nose,
which was more like a snout thana real nose. Also, its
eyes were getting extremely small for ababy. Altogether, Alice did not like
the look of the thing at all. But perhaps it's only sobbing, she
thought, and looked into its eyesagain to see if there were any tears.
No, there were no tears.If you're going to turn into a

(08:03):
pig, my dear, said Alice, seriously, I've got nothing more to
do with you. Mind now.The poor little thing sobbed again or grunted,
it was impossible to say which,and then went on for some while
in silence. Alice was just beginningto think to herself, now what am
I supposed to do with this creaturewhen I get home? When it grunted
again so violently that she looked downinto its face with some alarm. This

(08:24):
time, there could be no mistakeabout it. It was neither more or
less than a pig, and shefelt that it would be quite absurd for
her to carry it any further,so she let the little creature down,
and felt quite relieved to see ittrot away quietly into the woods. If
it had grown up, she saidto herself, it would have made a
dreadfully ugly child. But it makesa rather handsome pig, I think,
And she began thinking of her otherchildren she knew, who might do very

(08:46):
well as pigs, and was justsaying to herself, if one only knew
the right way to change them,when she was a little startled by seeing
the cheshire cat sitting on the bowof a tree just a few yards off.
The cat only grinned when Alice,and it looked good natured, she
thought. Still, it had verylong claws and a great mini teeth,
so she felt that it ought tobe treated with respect. Chesher puss,

(09:09):
she began rather timidly, and shedid not at all know whether it would
like the name. However, itonly grinned a little wider. Come it's
pleased so far, thought Alice,And she went on, would you tell
me, please which way I oughtto go from here? That depends a
good deal on where you want togo, said the cat. I don't
much care where, said Alice.Then it doesn't matter which way you go,

(09:33):
said the cat, So as longas I go somewhere, Alice added
with explanation. Oh, you're sureto do that, said the cat,
if only you walk long enough.Alice felt that this could not be denied,
so she tried another question. Whatsort of people live about here?
In that direction, the cat said, waving its right par round, lives

(09:56):
a hatter, and in that direction, waving the other pop leaves a march
here. Visit either you like?They're both mad. But I don't want
to go among mad people. Aliceremarked, Oh, you can't help that,
said the cat. We're all madhere. I'm mad, you're mad.
How do you know I'm mad?Said Alice. You must be,
said the cat, or you wouldn'thave come here. Alice didn't think that

(10:20):
proves it at all, However,she went on, and how do you
know that you're mad? To beginwith? Said the cat. A dog's
not mad. You grant that,I suppose so, said Alice. Well,
then the cat went on, Yousee, a dog growls when it's
angry and wags its tail when it'spleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased

(10:41):
and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad. I call it
purring, not growling, said Alice. Call it what you like, said
the cat. Do you play croquetwith the Queen today? I should like
it very much, said Alice,But I haven't been invited yet. You'll
see me there, said the cat, and vanished. Alice was not much

(11:03):
surprised at this, she was gettingso well used to the queer things happening.
While she was still looking at theplace where it had been, it
suddenly appeared again by the bye.What became of the baby, said the
cat. I'd nearly forgotten to ask. It turned into a pig, Alice
answered, very quietly, Just asif the cat had come back in a
natural way. I thought it would, said the cat, and vanished again.

(11:28):
Alice waited a little half expecting tosee it again, but it did
not appear. After a minute ortwo, she walked on in the direction
in which the March Hare was saidto live. I've seen hatteras before,
she said to herself. The MarchHare will be much more interesting, and
perhaps, as this is May,it won't be raving mad, at least
not so mad as it was inMarch. She said that. She looked

(11:50):
up and there was the cat.Again, sitting on the branch of a
tree. Did you say, pigor fig? Said the cat. I
said pig, replied Alice. AndI wish that you wouldn't keep appearing and
vanishing so suddenly you make one quitegiddy. All right, said the cat,
And this time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the
tail and ending with the grin,which remained some time after the rest of

(12:13):
it had gone. Well. I'veoften seen a cat without a grin,
thought Alice. But a grin withouta cat, It's the most curious thing
I ever saw in all my life. She had not gone much further before
she came in sight of the houseof the march Hare. She thought it
must be the right house, becausethe chimneys were shaped like ears, and
the roof was thatched with fur.It was such a large house that she

(12:35):
did not like to go nearer tillshe had nibbled some more of the left
hand bit of a mushroom, andshe raised herself about two feet high.
Even then, she walked up towardsit rather timidly, saying to herself,
suppose it should be raving mad?After all, I almost wish i'd gone
to the Hatter instead. End ofchapter six