Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Chapter 7

Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Chapter 7

Episode Transcript

(00:01):
This is a LibriVox recording. AllLibriVox recordings are in the public domain.
For more information or to volunteer,please visit LibriVox dot org. Today's reading
by karsh Allenberg www dot Ka dotorg. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis

(00:23):
Carroll, Chapter seven, A madtea party. There was a table set
out under a tree in front ofthe house, and the march Hare and
the Hatter were having tea at it. A dormouse was sitting between them,
fast asleep, and the other twowere using it as a cushion, resting

(00:45):
their elbows on it and talking overits head. Very uncomfortable for the dormouse,
thought Alice. Only as it's asleep I suppose it doesn't mind.
The table was a large one,but the three we were all crowded together
at one corner of it. Noroom, no room, they cried out

(01:06):
when they saw Alice coming. There'splenty of room, said Alice indignantly,
and she sat down in a largearm chair at one end of the table.
Have some wine, the march Haresaid, in an encouraging tone.
Alice looked all round the table,but there was nothing on it but tea

(01:26):
I don't see any wine, sheremarked. There isn't any, said the
march Hare. Then it wasn't verycivil of you to offer it, said
Alice angrily. It wasn't very civilof you to sit down without being invited,
said the march Hare. I didn'tknow it was your table, said
Alice. It's laid for a greatmany more than three. Your hair wants

(01:52):
cutting, said the hatter. Hehad been looking at Alice for some time
with great curiosity, and this washis first speech. You should learn not
to make personal remarks, Alice said, with some severity. It's very rude.
The hatter opened his eyes very wideon hearing this, but all he

(02:14):
said was why is a raven likea writing desk? Come? We shall
have some fun now, thought Alice. I'm glad they've begun asking riddles.
I believe I can guess that,She added aloud. Do you mean that
you think you can find out theanswer to it, said the march Hare.

(02:36):
Exactly so, said Alice. Thenyou should say what you mean.
The march Hare went on, Ido. Alice hastily replied, at least
at least I mean what I say. That's the same thing, you know,
not the same thing a bit,said the hatter. You might just

(02:58):
as well say that I see whatI eat is the same thing as I
eat what I see. You mightjust as well say, added the march
Hare. That I like what Iget is the same thing as I get
what I like. You might justas well say, added the dormouse,

(03:20):
who seemed to be talking in hissleep, that I breathe when I sleep
is the same thing as I sleep. When I breathe, it is the
same thing with you, said thehatter. And here the conversation dropped,
and the party sat silent for aminute while Alice thought over all she could
remember about ravens and writing desks,which wasn't much. The hatter was the

(03:46):
first to break the silence. Whatday of the month is it? He
said, turning to Alice. Hehad taken his watch out of his pocket
and was looking at it uneasily,shaking it every now and then and holding
it to his ear. Alice considereda little and then said the fourth two

(04:10):
days wrong, sighed the hatter.I told you butter wouldn't suit the works,
he added, looking angrily at themarch Hare. It was the best
butter. The march hare meekly repliedyes, but some crumbs must have got
in as well. The hatter grumbled, you shouldn't have put it in with

(04:30):
the bread knife. The march haretook the watch and looked at it gloomily.
Then he dipped it into his cupof tea and looked at it again.
But he could think of nothing betterto say than his first remark.
It was the best butter, youknow. Alice had been looking over his
shoulder with some curiosity. What afunny watch, she remarked. It tells

(04:56):
the day of the month and doesn'ttell what o'clock it is. Why should
it, muttered the hatter. Doesyour watch tell you what year it is?
Of course not, Alice replied veryreadily. But that's because it stays
the same year for such a longtime together, which is just the case

(05:17):
with mine, said the hatter.Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The hatter's remark
seemed to have no sort of meaningin it, and yet it was certainly
English. I don't quite understand you, she said, as politely as she
could. The dormouse is asleep again, said the hatter, and he poured

(05:41):
a little hot tea upon its nose. The dormouse shook its head impatiently and
said, without opening its eyes.Of course, of course, just what
I was going to remark myself.Have you guessed the riddle yet, the
hatter said, turning to Alice again, No, I give it up.

(06:02):
Alice replied, what's the answer.I haven't the slightest idea, said the
hatter, Nor I said the marchhare. Alice sighed wearily. I think
you might do something better with thetime, she said, van waste it
in asking riddles that have no answers. If you knew time as well as

(06:27):
I do, said the hatter,you wouldn't talk about wasting it. It's
him. I don't know what youmean, said Alice. Of course you
don't, the hatter said, tossinghis head contemptuously. I dare say you
never even spoke to time. Perhapsnot, Alice cautiously replied, But I

(06:51):
know I have to beat time whenI learn music. Ah, that accounts
for it, said the hatter.Ye won't stand beating now. If you
only kept on good terms with him, he'd do almost anything you liked with
the clock. For instance, supposeit were nine o'clock in the morning,

(07:12):
just time to begin lessons. You'donly have to whisper a hint to time,
and round goes the clock in atwinkling half past one time for dinner.
I only wish it was the marchHare, said to itself in a
whisper. That would be grand,certainly, said Alice thoughtfully. But then

(07:33):
I shouldn't be hungry for it,you know, not at first, perhaps,
said the hatter. But you couldkeep it to half past one as
long as you liked. Is thatthe way you manage? Alice asked.
The hatter shook his head mournfully.Not I, he replied. We quarreled

(07:56):
last March, just before he wentmad, you know, pointing with his
teaspoon at the march Hare. Itwas at the great concert given by the
Queen of Hearts, and I hadto sing Twinkle Twinkle, little bat.
How I wonder what you're at?You know the song? Perhaps I've heard

(08:18):
something like it, said Alice.It goes on, you know, the
hatter continued, In this way,up above the world, you fly like
a tea tray in the sky.Twinkle twinkle. Here the dormouse shook itself
and began singing in its sleep,Twinkle Twinkle, twinkle twinkle, and went

(08:41):
on so long that they had topinch it to make it stop. Well,
I'd hardly finished the first verse,said the hatter, when the Queen
jumped up and bawled out. He'smurdering the time off with his head.
How dreadfully savage, exclaimed Alice.And ever since that, the hatter went

(09:07):
on in a mournful tone, hewon't do a thing I ask. It's
always six o'clock. Now. Abright idea came into Alice's head. Is
that the reason so many tea thingsare put out here? She asked?
Yes, that's it, said thehatter with a sigh. It's always tea

(09:28):
time, and we've no time towash the things between whiles. Then you
keep moving round, I suppose,said Alice. Exactly so, said the
hatter, as the things get usedup. But what happens when you come
to the beginning again? Alice venturedto ask, suppose we change the subject?

(09:52):
The march hare interrupted, yawning,I'm getting tired of this. I
vote the young lady tells us astory. I'm afraid I don't know one,
said Alice, rather alarmed at theproposal. Then the dormouse shall they
both cried, Wake up, dormouse, and they pinched it on both sides

(10:13):
at once. The dormouse slowly openedhis eyes. I wasn't asleep, he
said, in a hoarse, feeblevoice. I heard every word you fellows
were saying. Tell us a story, said the march hare. Yes,
please do, pleaded Alice. Andbe quick about it, added the hatter,

(10:37):
or you'll be asleep again before it'sdone. Once upon a time there
were three little sisters. The dormousebegan in a great hurry, and their
names were Elsie, Lacy, andTilly, and they lived at the bottom
of a well. What did theylive on, said Alice, who always

(10:58):
took a great interest in questions ofeating and drinking. They lived on treacle,
said the dormouse. After thinking aminute or two. They couldn't have
done that, you know, Alicegently remarked. They'd have been ill.
So they were, said the dormouse, very ill. Alice tried to fancy

(11:24):
to herself what such an extraordinary wayof living would be like, but it
puzzled her too much, so shewent on, but why did they live
at the bottom of a well?Take some more tea, the march hare
said, to Alice very earnestly,I've had nothing yet, Alice replied,

(11:45):
in an offended tone. So Ican't take more. You mean you can't
take less, said the hatter.It's very easy to take more than nothing.
Nobody asked your opinion, Alice,who's making personal remarks now, the
hatter asked, triumphantly. Alice didnot quite know what to say to this,

(12:11):
so she helped herself to some teaand bread and butter, and then
turned to the dormouse and repeated herquestion, why did they live at the
bottom of a well? The dormouseagain took a minute or two to think
about it, and then said itwas a treacle. Well, there's no
such thing. Alice was beginning veryangrily, but the hatter and the march

(12:35):
hare went shh, and the dormousesulkily remarked, if you can't be civil,
you'd better finish the story for yourself. No, please go on,
Alice said, very humbly, Iwon't interrupt again. I dare say there
may be one one indeed, saidthe dormouse indignantly. However, he consented

(13:00):
to go on. And so thesethree little sisters they were learning to draw
you know what did they draw?Said Alice, quite forgetting her promise.
Treacle, said the dormouse, withoutconsidering at all this time, I want
a clean cup, interrupted the hatter. Let's all move one place on.

(13:24):
He moved on as he spoke,and the dormouse followed him. The march
hare moved into the dormouse's place,and Alice, rather unwillingly, took the
place of the march hare. Thehatter was the only one who got any
advantage from the change, and Alicewas a good deal worse off than before,
as the march hare had just upsetthe milk jug into his plate.

(13:48):
Alice did not wish to offend thedormouse again, so she began very cautiously.
But I don't understand where did theydraw the treacle from. You can
draw water out of a water well, said the hatter, So I should
think you could draw a treacle outof a treacle. Well, E stupid.

(14:09):
But they were in the well,Alice said to the dormouse, not
choosing to notice this last remark.Of course they were, said the dormouse.
Well in this answer so confused poorAlice that she let the dormouse go
on for some time without interrupting it. They were learning to draw. The

(14:33):
dormouse went on yawning and rubbing itseyes, for it was getting very sleepy,
and they drew all manner of things, everything that begins with an M.
Why with an M? Said Alice? Why not, said the march
hare. Alice was silent. Thedormouse had closed its eyes by this time

(14:58):
and was going off into a doze, but on being pinched by the hatter,
it woke up again with a littleshriek and went on that begins with
an M, such as mouse trapsand the moon, and memory and muchness.
You know, you say things aremuch of a muchness? Did you

(15:20):
ever see such a thing as adrawing of a muchness? Really? Now
you ask me, said Alice,very much confused. I don't think.
Then you shouldn't talk, said thehatter. This piece of rudeness was more
than Alice could bear. She gotup in great disgust and walked off.

(15:45):
The dormouse fell asleep instantly, andneither of the others took the least notice
of her going, though she lookedback once or twice, half hoping that
they would call after her. Thelast time she saw them, they were
trying to put the dormouse into theteapot. At any rate, I'll never
go there again, said Alice,as she picked her way through the wood.

(16:08):
It's the stupidest tea party I everwas at in all my life.
Just as she said this, shenoticed that one of the trees had a
door leading right into it. That'svery curious, she thought, But everything's
curious to day. I think Imay as well go in at once.

(16:29):
And in she went once more.She found herself in the long hall and
close to the little glass table.Now I'll manage better this time, she
said to herself, and began bytaking the little golden key and unlocking the
door that led into the garden.Then she went to work nibbling at the

(16:52):
mushroom. She had kept a pieceof it in her pocket till she was
about a foot high. Then shewalked down the little passage, and then
she found herself at last in thebeautiful garden, among the bright flower beds
and the cool fountains. End ofchapter seven. Recorded on November eleventh,

(17:18):
two thousand five, in Oceanside,California,