Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Chapter 5

Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Chapter 5

Episode Transcript

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This is a LibriVox recording. AllLibriVox recordings are in the public domain.
For more information or to volunteer,please visit LibriVox dot org. This recording
by Mark Bradford. Alice's Adventures inWonderland by Lewis Carroll, Chapter five,

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Advice from a Caterpillar. The caterpillarand Alice looked at each other for some
time in silence. At last,the caterpillar took the hookah out of its
mouth and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice. Who are you,
said the caterpillar. This was notan encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice

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replied, rather shyly. I Ihardly know, sir, just at present.
At least I know who I waswhen I got up this morning,
but I think I must have beenchanged several times since then. What do
you mean by that, said thecaterpillar, sternly. Explain yourself. I
can't explain myself. I'm afraid,sir, said Alice, because I'm not

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myself. You see, I don'tsee, said the caterpillar. I'm afraid
I can't put it more clearly.Alice replied, very politely, for I
can't understand it myself to begin with, and being so many different sizes in
a day is very confusing, itisn't, said the caterpillar. Well perhaps

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you haven't found it so yet,said Alice. But when you have to
turn into a chrysalis you will someday, you know, and then after
that into a butterfly. I shouldthink you'll feel it a little queer,
won't you? Not a bit?Said the caterpillar. Well perhaps your feelings
may be different, said Alice.All I know is it would feel very

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queer to me. You, saidthe caterpillar temptuously. Who are you?
Which brought them back again to thebeginning of the conversation. Alice felt a
little irritated at the caterpillar's making suchvery short remarks, and she drew herself
up and said, very gravely,I think you ought to tell me who

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you are first. Why said thecaterpillar. Here was another puzzling question,
And as Alice could not think ofany good reason, and as the caterpillar
seemed to be in a very unpleasantstate of mind, she turned away.
Come back, the caterpillar called afterher, I've something important to say.

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This sounded promising, certainly. Aliceturned and came back again. Keep your
temper, said the caterpillar. Isthat all, said Alice, swallowing down
her anger as well as she could, No, said the caterpillar. Alice

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we us thought she might as wellwait, as she had nothing else to
do, and perhaps, after all, it might tell her something worth hearing.
For some minutes it puffed away withoutspeaking, but at last it unfolded
its arms, took the hookah outof its mouth again, and said,
So you think you're changed, doyou? I'm afraid I am, sir,

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said Alice. I can't remember thingsas I used, and I don't
keep the same size for ten minutestogether. Can't remember what things, said
the caterpillar. Well, I've triedto say how doth the little busy be?
But it all came different? Alicereplied, in a very melancholy voice.
Repeat your old, father, William, said the caterpillar. Alice folded

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her hands and began. You areold, father, William, the young
man said, And your hair hasbecome very white, and yet you incessantly
stand on your head. Do youthink at your age it is right?
My youth, father William replied tohis son, I feared it might injure
the brain. But now that I'mperfectly sure I have none, Why I

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do it again and again? Youare old, said the youth. As
I mentioned before, and have grownmost uncommonly fat. Yet you turned a
back somersult in at the door.Pray what is the reason of that?
In my youth, said the sage, as he shook his gray locks.
I kept all my limbs very suppleby the use of this ointment. One

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shilling the box. Allow me tosell you a couple. You are old,
said the youth. And your jawsare too weak for anything tougher than
suet. Yet you finished the goosewith the bones and the beak. Pray,
how did you manage to do it? In my youth, said his
father, I took to the lawand argued each case with my wife,
and the muscular strength which it gaveto my jaw has lasted the rest of

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my life. You are old,said the youth. One would hardly suppose
that your eye was as steady asever, Yet you balanced an eel on
the end of your nose. Whatmade you so awfully clever? I have
answered three questions, and that isenough, said his father. Don't give
yourself airs. Do you think Ican listen all day to such stuff.

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Be off, or I'll kick youdownstairs. That is not said, right,
said the caterpillar. Not quite right, I'm afraid, said Alice timidly.
Some of the words have got altered. It is wrong from beginning to
end, said the caterpillar decidedly.And there was silence for some minutes.

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The caterpillar was the first to speak. What size do you want to be?
It asked. Oh, I'm notparticular as to size, Alice hastily
replied, only one doesn't like changingso often. You know, I don't
know, said the caterpillar. Alicesaid nothing. She had never been so

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much contradicted in her life before,and she felt that she was losing her
temper. Are you content now,said the caterpillar. Well, I should
like to be a little larger,sir, if you wouldn't mind, said
Alice. Three inches is such awretched height to be. It is a
very good height, indeed, saidthe caterpillar, angrily, rearing itself upright

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as it spoke. It was exactlythree inches high. But I'm not used
to it, pleaded poor Alice ina piteous tone. And she thought to
herself, I wish the creatures wouldn'tbe so easily offended. You'll get used
to it in time, said thecaterpillar, and it put the hookah into
its mouth and began smoking again.This time, Alice waited patiently until it

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chose to speak again. In aminute or two, the caterpillar took the
hookah out of its mouth and yawnedonce or twice and shook itself. Then
it got down off the mushroom andcrawled away in the grass, merely remarking
as it went. One side willmake you grow taller and the other,
either side will make you grow shorter. One side of what the other side

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of what? Thought Alice to herselfof the mushroom, said the caterpillar,
just as if she had asked italoud, and in another moment it was
out of sight. Alice remained lookingthoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute,
trying to make out which were thetwo sides of it, And as it
was perfectly round, she found thisa very difficult question. However, at

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last she stretched her arms round itas far as they would go, and
broke off a bit of the edgewith each hand. And now which is
which, she said to herself.And nibbled a little of the right hand
bit to try the effect. Thenext moment she felt a violent blow underneath
her chin. It had struck herfoot. She was a good deal frightened

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by this very sudden change, butshe felt that there was no time to
be lost, as she was shrinkingrapidly, so she set to work at
once to eat some of the otherbit. Her chin was pre dust so
closely against her foot that there washardly room to open her mouth, but
she did it at last and managedto swallow a morsel of the left hand
bit. Come my head's free atlast, said Alice, in a tone

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of delight, which changed into alarmin another moment, when she found that
her shoulders were nowhere to be found. All she could see when she looked
down was an immense length of neck, which seemed to rise like a stalk
out of a sea of green leavesthat lay far below her. What can
all that green stuff be? SaidAlice? And where have my shoulders got

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to? And oh, my poorhands, how is it I can't see
you? She was moving them aboutas she spoke, but no results seemed
to follow, except a little shakingamong the distant green leaves, as there
seemed to be no chance of gettingher hands up to her head, she
tried to get her head down tothem, and was delighted to find that

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her neck would bend about easily inany direction like a serpent. She had
just succeeded in curving it down intoa graceful zigzag, and was going to
dive in among the leaves, whichshe found to be nothing but the tops
of the trees under which she hadbeen wandering, when a sharp hiss made
her draw back in a hurry.A large pigeon had flown into her face

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and was beating her violently with itswings. Serpent, screamed the pigeon.
I'm not a serpent, said Alice, indignantly. Let me alone, serpent,
I say again, repeated the pigeon, but in a more subdued tone,
and added with a kind of sob. I've tried every way and nothing
seems to suit them. I haven'tthe least idea what you're talking about,

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said Alice. I've tried the rootsof trees, and I've tried banks,
and I've tried hedges. The pigeonwent on without attending to her. But
those serpents there's no pleasing them.Alice was more and more puzzled, but
she thought there was no use insaying anything more till the pigeon had finished.

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As if it wasn't trouble enough hatchingthe eggs, said the pigeon.
But I must be on the lookoutfor serpents night and day. Why I
haven't had a wink of sleep thesethree weeks. I'm very sorry you've been
annoyed, said Alice, who wasbeginning to see its meaning. And just
as I'd taken the highest tree inthe wood, continued the pigeon, raising

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its voice to a shriek. Andjust as I was thinking I should be
free of them at last, theymust needs come wriggling down from the sky,
Ugh, serpent. But I'm nota serpent, I tell you,
said Alice. I'm a I'm awell what are you, said the pigeon.
I can see you're trying to inventsomething. I I'm a little girl,

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said Alice, rather doubtfully, asshe remembered the number of changes she
had gone through that day. Alikely story, indeed, said the pigeon,
in a tone of the deepest contempt. I've seen a good many little
girls in my time, but neverone with such a neck as that.
No, no, you're a serpent, and there's no use denying it.
I suppose you'll be telling me nextthat you have never tasted an egg.

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I have tasted eggs, certainly,said Alice, who was a very truthful
child. But little girls eat eggsquite as much as serpents do, you
know. I don't believe it,said the pigeon. But if they do,
why then they're a kind of serpent. That's all I can say.
This was such a new idea toAlice that she was quite silent for a

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minute or two, which gave thepigeon the opportunity of adding, you're looking
for eggs. I know that wellenough. And what does it matter to
me whether you're a little girl ora serpent. It matters a good deal
to me, said Alice hastily.But I'm not looking for eggs, as
it happens, and if I was, I shouldn't want yours. I don't
like them. Raw Well, beoff, then, said the pigeon in

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a sulky tone, as it settleddown again into its nest. Alice crouched
down among the trees as well asshe could for her neck kept getting entangled
among the branches, and every nowand then she had to stop and untwist
it. After a while, sheremembered that she still held the pieces of
mushroom in her hands, and sheset to work very carefully, nibbling first

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at one and then at the other, and growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter,
until she had succeeded in bringing herselfdown to her usual height. It
was so long since she had beenanything near the right size that it felt
quite strange at first, but shegot used to it in a few minutes
and began talking to herself as usual. Come, there's half my plan done.

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Now. How puzzling all these changesare. I'm never sure what I'm
going to be from one minute toanother. However, I've got back to
my right size. The next thingis to get into that beautiful garden.
How is that to be done?I wonder? As she said this,
she came suddenly upon an open placewith a little house in it about four

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feet high. Whoever lives there,thought Alice. It'll never do to come
upon them this size. Why Ishould frighten them out of their wits.
So she began nibbling at the righthand bit again, and did not venture
to go near the house till shehad brought herself down to nine inches high.
End of Chapter five, recorded Decembertwenty eighth, two thousand five,

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in Longmont, Colorado,