Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Chapter 4

Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Chapter 4

Episode Transcript

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l I B r I v oX dot org. To day's reading by

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yet Yet's Bedtime Story podcast. Alice'sAdventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, Chapter
four, The rabbit sends in alittle bill. It was the white rabbit,
trotting slowly back again, and lookinganxiously about as it went, as

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if it had lost something, Andshe heard it muttering to itself, the
duchess, the duchess, Oh mydear pause, oh my fur and whiskers.
She'll get me executed as sure asferrets are ferrets. Where can I
have dropped them? I wonder?Alice guessed in a moment that it was

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looking for the fan and the pairof white kid gloves, and she very
good naturedly began hunting about for them, but they were nowhere to be seen.
Everything seemed to have changed since herswim in the pool, and the
great hall with the glass table andthe little door had vanished completely. Very

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soon the rabbit noticed Alice as shewent hunting about, and called out to
her in an angry tone, Whymary Anne, what are you doing out
here? Run home this moment andfetch me a pair of gloves and a
fan quick now. And Alice wasso much frightened that she ran off at
once in the direction it pointed to, without trying to explain the mistake it

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had made. He took me forhis housemaid, she said to herself as
she ran, How surprised he'll bewhen he finds out who I am.
But I'd better take him his funand gloves, that is, if I
can find them. As she saidthis, she came upon a neat little

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house, on the door of whichwas a bright brass plate with the name
W Rabbit engraved upon it. Shewent in without knocking, and hurried upstairs
in great fear lest she should meetthe real mary Anne and be turned out
of the house before she had foundthe fan and gloves. How queer it

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seems, Alice said to herself,to be going messages for a rabbit.
I suppose Dinah will be sending meout on messages next. And she began
fancying the sort of thing that wouldhappen. Miss Alice, come here directly,
and get ready for your walk comingin a minute, nurse. But

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I've got to see that the mousedoesn't get out. Only I don't think,
Alice went on that they'd let Dinahstop in the house if it began
ordering people about like that. Bythis time, she had found her way
into a tidy little room with atable in the window, and on it,
as she had hoped, a fan, and two or three pairs of

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tiny white kid gloves. She tookup the fun a pair of the gloves,
and was just going to leave theroom when her eyes fell upon a
little bottle that stood near the lookingglass. There was no label this time
with the words drink me, butnevertheless she uncorked it and put it to

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her lips. I know something interestingis sure to happen, she said to
herself, whenever I or drink anything. So I'll just see what this bottle
does. I do hope it'll makeme grow large again, for really,
I'm quite tired of being such atiny little thing. It did so,

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indeed, and much sooner than shehad expected. Before she had drunk half
the bottle, she found her headpressing against the ceiling and had to stoop
to save her neck from being broken. She hastily put down the bottle,
saying to herself, that's quite enough. I hope I shan't grow anymore.

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As it is, I can't getout at the door. I do wish
I hadn't drunk quite so much.Alas it was too late to wish that.
She went on growing and growing,and very soon had to kneel down
on the floor. In another minute, there was not even room for this,

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and she tried the effect of lyingdown with one elbow against the door
and the other arm curled round herhead. Still she went on growing,
and as a last resource, sheput one arm out the window and one
foot up the chimney, and saidto herself, now I can do no
more. Whatever happens, what willbecome of me. Luckily for Alice,

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the little magic bottle had now hadits full effect, and she grew no
larger. Still, it was veryuncomfortable, and as there seemed to be
no sort of chance of her evergetting out of the room again, no
wonder she felt unhappy. It wasmuch pleasanter at home, thought poor Alice,

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when one wasn't always growing larger andsmaller, and being ordered about by
mice and rabbits. I almost wishI hadn't gone down that rabbit hole.
And yet, and yet it's rathercurious, you know, this sort of
life. I do wonder what canhave happened to me? When I used

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to read fairy tales. I fanciedthat kind of thing never happened. And
now here I am in the middleof one. There ought to be a
book written about me. That thereought, And when I grow up,
I'll write one. But I've grownup now, she added in a sorrowful
tone. At least there's no roomto grow up any more here. But

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then thought Alice, shall I neverget any older than I am? Now?
That'll be a comfort one way,never to be an old woman,
But then always to have lessons tolearn. Oh I shouldn't like that.

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Oh, you foolish Alice, sheanswered herself. How can you learn lessons
in here? Why? Hardly roomfor you, and no room at all
for any lesson books. And soshe went on, taking fast one side,
then the other, and making quitea conversation of it altogether. But
after a few minutes she heard avoice outside and stopped to listen. Mary

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Anne. Mary Anne said the voice, fetch me my gloves. This moment
then came a little pattering of feeton the stairs. Alice knew it was
the rabbit coming to look for her, and she trembled till she shook the
house, quite forgetting that she wasnow about a thousand times as large as
the rabbit and had no reason tobe afraid of it. Presently, the

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rabbit came up to the door andtried to open it, But as the
door opened inwards and Alice's elbow waspressed hard against it, that attempt proved
a failure. Alice heard it sayto itself, Then I'll go round and
get in at the window. Thatyou won't, thought Alice, And after

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waiting till she fancied, she heardthe rabbit just under the window. She
suddenly spread out her hand and madea snatch in the air. She did
not get hold of anything, butshe heard a little shriek and a fall
and a crash of broken glass,from which she concluded that it was just
possible it had fallen into a cucumberframe or something of the sort. Next

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came an angry voice, the rabbitspart part where are you? And then
the voice she had never heard before. Sure then I'm here digging for apples,
your honor, digging for apples,indeed, said the rabbit angrily.
Here, come and help me outof this. Sounds of more broken glass?

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Now, tell me, pat,what's that in the window? Sure
it's an arm, your honor,he pronounced it arum, an arm,
you goose? Who ever saw onethat size? Why it fills the whole
window? Sure it does, yourhonor, But it's an arm for all
that. Well, it's got nobusiness there at any rate. Go and

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take it away. There was along silence after this, and Alice could
only hear whispers now and then,such as, sure I don't like it,
your honor at all at all.Do as I tell you, you
coward. And at last she spreadout her hand again and made another snatch

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in the air. This time therewere two little shrieks and more sounds of
broken glass. What a number ofcucumber frames there must be? What,
Alice, I wonder what they'll donext? As for pulling me out of
the window, I only wish theycould. I'm sure I don't want to

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stay in here any longer. Shewaited for some time without hearing anything more.
At last came a rumbling of littlecart wheels, and the sound of
a good many voices, all talkingtogether. She made out the words where's
the other ladder? Why? Ihadn't thought to bring but one Bill's got

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the other? Bill, fetch ithere, lad he have put em up
at the corner, no time together. First they don't reach half high enough
yet, Oh they'll do well enough. Don't be particular. Here, Bill,
catch hold of this rope? Willthe roof break? Mind that loose

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slat? Oh, it's comin downheads below A loud crush. Now who
did that? It was Bill?I fancy who's to go down the chimney?
Nay, I sha'n't you do it? That? I won't. Then
Bill's to go down here. Bill, the master says you're to go down

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the chimney. Oh, so Bill'sgot to come down the chimney. How's
he said Alice to herself, Shah, they seem to put everything upon Bill.
I wouldn't be in Bill's place fora good deal. This fireplace is
narrow, to be sure, butI think I can kick a little.

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She drew her foot as far downthe chimney as she could and waited till
she heard a little animal she couldn'tguess of what sort it was, scratching
and scrambling about in the chimney closeabove her, Then saying to herself,
this is Bill. Bill, shegave one sharp kick and waited to see

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what would happen next. The firstthing she heard was a general chorus of
there goes Bill, then the rabbit'svoice along, catch him, you by
the hedge. Then silence, andthen another confusion of voices. Hold robber's

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head, Brandon, now, don'tchoke him. How was it, old
fellow? What happened to you?Tell us all about it? Last?
Came a little feeble squeaking voice.That's Bill, thought Alice. Well,
I hardly know, no mahol,thank you. I'm better now, but

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I'm a deal too flustered to tellyou. All I know is something comes
at me like a jack in thebox, and up I goes like a
skyrocket. So you did, oldfellow, said the others. We must
burn the house down, said therabbit's voice, and Alice called out as

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loud as she could. If youdo, I'll set diner at you.
There was a deadly silence instantly,and Alice thought to herself, I wonder
what they will do next, ifthere had any sense, they'd take the
roof off. After a minute ortwo, they began moving about again,

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and Alice heard the rabbit say abarrelfool will do to begin with a barrelful
of what, thought Alice, Butshe had not longed to doubt. For
the next moment, a shower oflittle pebbles came rattling in at the window,
and some of them hit her inthe face. I'll put a stop

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to this, she said to herself, and shall you'd better not do that
again, which produced another dead silence. Alice noted with some surprise that the
pebbles were all turning into little cakesas they lay on the floor, and
a bright idea came into her head. If I eat one of these cakes,

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she thought, it's sure to makesome change in my size, And
as it can't possibly make me larger, it must make me smaller, I
suppose. So she swallowed one ofthe cakes, and was delighted to find
that she began shrinking directly. Assoon as she was small enough to get

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through the door. She ran outof the house and found quite a crowd
of little animals and birds waiting outside. The poor little lizard bill was in
the middle, being held up bytwo guinea pigs who were giving it so
thing out of a bottle. Theyall made a rush at Alice the moment

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she appeared, but she ran offas hard as she could, and soon
found herself safe in a thick wood. The first thing I've got to do,
said Alice to herself, as shewandered about in the wood, is
to grow to my right size again. And the second thing is to find

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my way into that lovely garden.I think that will be the best plan.
It sounded an excellent plan, nodoubt, and very neatly and simply
arranged. The only difficulty was thatshe had not got the smallest idea how
to set about it. And whileshe was peering about anxiously among the trees,

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a little sharp bark just over herhead made her look up in a
great hurry. An enormous puppy waslooking down at her with large round eyes
and feebly stretching out one paw tryingto touch her. Poor little thing,

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said Alice in a coaxing tone,And she tried hard to whistle to it,
but she was terribly frightened all thetime. At the thought that it
might be hungry, in which caseit would be very likely to eat her
up. In spite of all hercooxing. Hardly knowing what she did,

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she picked up a little bit ofstick and held it out to the puppy,
whereupon the puppy jumped into the airoff all its feet at once with
a yelp of delight, and rushedat the stick and made believe to worry
it. Then Alice dodged behind agreat thistle to keep herself from being run
over, and the moment she appearedon the other side, the puppy made

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another rush at the stick and tumbledhead over heels in its hurry to get
hold of it. Then Alice,thinking it was very like having a game
of play with a cart horse andexpecting every moment to be trampled under its
feet, ran round the thistle again. Then the puppy began a series of
short charges at the stick, runninga very little way forwards each time,

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and a long way back, andbarking hoarsely all the while, till at
last it sat down a good wayoff, panting, with its tongue hanging
out of his mouth and its greateyes half shut. This seemed to Alice

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a good opportunity for making her escape, so she set off it once and
ran till she was quite tired andout of breath, and till the puppies
bark sounded quite faint in the distance. And yet what a dear little puppy
it was, said Alice, asshe linked against a buttercup to rest herself,

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and found herself with one of theleaves. I should have liked teaching
it tricks very much, if ifI'd only been the right size to do
it. Oh, dear, I'dnearly forgotten that I've got to grow up
again. Let me see how isthis to be managed? I suppose I
ought to eat or drink something orother, But the great question is what.

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The great question, certainly was what. Alice looked all round her,
at the flowers and the blades ofgrass, but she did not see anything
that looked like the right thing toeat or drink under the circumstances. There
was a large mushroom growing near her, about the same height as herself,

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And when she had looked under it, and on both sides of it,
and behind it, it occurred toher that she might as well look and
see what was on top of it. She stretched herself up on tiptoe and
peeped over the edge of the mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of

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a large caterpillar that was sitting onthe top with its arms folded, quietly
smoking a long hookerh and taking notthe smallest notice of her, or of
anything else. End of Chapter four, Recorded on Tuesday, the sixth of

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December, in New York, NewYork,