Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Chapter eleven of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll.
This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Chapter eleven,
Who Stole the Tarts? The King and Queen of Hearts
were seated on their throne when they arrived, with a
great crowd assembled about them, all sorts of little birds
(00:22):
and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards.
The Knave was standing before them in chains, with a
soldier on each side to guard him, and near the
King was the White Rabbit, with a trumpet in one
hand and a scroll of parchment in the other. In
the very middle of the court was a table with
a large dish of tarts upon it. They looked so
good that it made Alice quite hungry to look at them.
(00:45):
I wish they'd get the trial done, she thought, and
hand round the refreshments. But there seemed to be no
chance of this, so she began looking at everything about
her to pass away the time. Alice had never been
in a court of justice before, but she had read
about them in books, and she was quite pleased to
find that she knew the name of nearly everything there.
(01:07):
That's the judge, she said to herself because of his
great wig. The judge, by the way, was the king,
and as he wore his crown over the wig, look
at the frontispiece if you want to see how he
did it. He did not look at all comfortable, and
it was certainly not becoming. And that's the jury box,
thought Alice. And those twelve creatures, she was obliged to
(01:31):
say creatures, you see, because some of them were animals
and some were birds. I suppose they are the journers.
She said this last word two or three times over
to herself, being rather proud of it, for she thought,
and rightly too, that very few little girls of her
age knew the meaning of it at all. However, jurymen
(01:53):
would have done just as well. The twelve journers were
all writing very busily on slates. What are they doing,
Alice whispered to the griffin. They can't have anything to
put down yet before the trial's begun. They're putting down
their names, the griffin whispered in reply, for fear they
should forget them before the end of the trial. Stupid things,
(02:16):
Alice began in a loud, indignant voice. But she stopped
hastily for the white rabbit cried out silence in the court,
and the king put on his spectacles and looked anxiously
round to make out who was talking. Alice could see,
as well as if she were looking over their shoulders,
that all the jurors were writing down stupid things on
(02:38):
their slates, and she could even make out that one
of them didn't know how to spell stupid, and that
he had to ask his neighbor to tell him a
nice muddle. Their slaves'll be in before the trial's over,
thought Alice. One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This,
of course Alice could not stand, and she went round
(02:59):
the court and got behind him, and very soon found
an opportunity of taking it away. She did it so
quickly that the poor little jurler it was Bill the Lizard,
could not make out at all what had become of it. So,
after hunting all about for it, he was obliged to
write with one finger for the rest of the day.
And this was of very little use, as it left
(03:20):
no mark on the slate. Harold read the accusation, said
the King. On this the white rabbit blew three blasts
on the trumpet, and then unrolled the parchment scroll and
read as follows. The Queen of Hearts, she made some
tarts all on a summer day. The Knave of Hearts,
(03:42):
he stole those tarts and took them quite away. Consider
your verdict, the King said to the jury. Not yet,
not yet. The rabbit hastily interrupted, there's a great deal
to come before that call the first witness, said the King,
and the white rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet
(04:02):
and called out first witness. The first witness was the Hatter.
He came in with a tea cup in one hand
and a piece of bread and butter in the other.
I beg pardon your majesty, he began for bringing these in.
But I hadn't quite finished my tea when I was
sent for. You ought to have finished, said the king.
(04:23):
When did you begin? The hatter looked at the march Hare,
who had followed him into the court arm in arm
with the dormouse. Fourteenth of March, I think it was,
he said, Fifteenth, said the march Hare. Sixteenth added the dormouse.
Write that down, the King said to the jury. And
(04:44):
the jury eagerly wrote down all three dates on their slates,
and then added them up and reduced the answer to
shillings and pence. Take off your hat, the king said
to the hatter. It isn't mine, said the hatter, stolen,
the king exclaimed, turning to the jury, who instantly made
a memorandum of the fact. I keep them to sell.
(05:07):
The hatter added, as an explanation, I've none of my own.
I'm a hatter here. The queen put on her spectacles
and began staring at the hatter, who turned pale and fidgeted.
Give your evidence, said the king, and don't be nervous,
or I'll have you executed on the spot. This did
(05:27):
not seem to encourage the witness at all. He kept
shifting from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at
the Queen, and in his confusion, he bit a large
piece out of his tea cup instead of the bread
and butter. Just at this moment, Alice felt a very
curious sensation, which puzzled her a good deal until she
(05:48):
made out what it was. She was beginning to grow
larger again, and she thought at first she would get
up and leave the court, but on second thoughts, she
decided to remain where she was as long as there
was room for her. I wish you wouldn't squeeze, so
said the dormouse, who was sitting next to her. I
can hardly breathe. I can't help it, said Alice, very meekly.
(06:11):
I'm growing. You've no right to grow here, said the dormouse.
Don't talk nonsense, said Alice, more boldly. You know you're
growing too, Yes, but I grow at a reasonable pace,
said the dormouse, not in that ridiculous fashion, and he
got up, very sulkily and crossed over to the other
(06:33):
side of the court. All this time the Queen had
never left off staring at the hatter, and just as
the dormouse crossed the court, she said to one of
the officers of the court, bring me the list of
the singers in the last concert, on which the wretched
hatter trembled so that he shook both his shoes off.
(06:55):
Give your evidence, the king repeated, angrily, or I'll have
you executed, whether you're nervous or not. I'm a poor man,
your majesty, the hatter began, in a trembling voice. And
I hadn't begun my tea, not above a week or so,
and what with the bread and butter getting so thin,
(07:15):
and the twinkling of the tea, the twinkling of the hot,
said the king. It began with the tea. The hatter replied,
of course, twinkling begins with a tea, said the king, sharply,
do you take me for a dunce? Go on, I'm
a poor man. The hatter went on, and most things
(07:38):
twinkled after that, only the march hare said I didn't.
The march hare interrupted, in a great hurry, you did,
said the hatter. I deny it, said the march hare.
He denies it, said the king. Leave out that part well,
at any rate, the dormouse said. The hatter went on,
(07:58):
looking anxiously round to see if he would deny it too,
but the dormouse denied nothing, being fast asleep. After that,
continued the hatter. I cut some more bread and butter.
But what did the dormouse say. One of the jury
asked that, I can't remember, said the hatter. You must remember,
(08:20):
remarked the king, or I'll have you executed. The miserable
hatter dropped his teacup and bread and butter, and went
down on one knee. I'm a poor man, your majesty,
he began, You are a very poor speaker, said the king.
Here one of the guinea pigs cheered and was immediately
(08:42):
suppressed by the officers of the court. As that is
rather a hard word, I will just explain to you
how it was done. They had a large canvas bag
which tied up at the mouth with strings. Into this
they slipped the guinea pig head first, and then sat
upon it. I'm glad I've seen that done, thought Alice.
I've so often read in the newspapers at the end
(09:04):
of trials there was some attempts at applause, which was
immediately suppressed by the officers of the court, and I
never understood what it meant till now. If that's all
you know about it, you may stand down, continued the king.
I can't go no lower, said the hatter. I'm on
the floor as it is. Then you may sit down,
(09:25):
the king replied. Here the other guinea pig cheered and
was suppressed. Come that finished, the guinea pigs, thought, Alice.
Now we shall get on better. I'd rather finish my tea,
said the hatter, with an anxious look at the Queen,
who was reading the list of singers. You may go,
(09:46):
said the king, and the hatter hurriedly left the court,
without even waiting to put his shoes on, and just
take his head off outside, the queen added to one
of the officers, but the hatter was out of so
before the officer could get to the door, Call the
next witness, said the king. The next witness was the
(10:08):
Duchess's cook. She carried the pepper box in her hand,
and Alice guessed who it was even before she got
into the court. By the way, the people near the
door began sneezing all at once. Give your evidence, said
the king. Shan't, said the cook. The King looked anxiously
at the white rabbit, who said, in a low voice,
(10:30):
your Majesty must cross examine this witness. Well, if I must,
I must, the King said with a melancholy air, and
after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till
his eyes were nearly out of sight, he said, in
a deep voice, what are tarts made of pepper? Mostly?
(10:52):
Said the cook. Treacle said a sleepy voice behind her collar.
That dormouse. The Queen shrieked out, behead that dormouse. Turn
that dormouse out of court, suppress him, pinch him, off
with his whiskers. For some minutes, the whole court was
in confusion getting the dormouse turned out, and by the
(11:14):
time they had settled down again, the cook had disappeared.
Never mind, said the King, with an air of great relief.
Call the next witness, and he added in an undertone
to the Queen, Really, my dear, you must cross examine
the next witness. It quite makes my forehead ache. Alice
(11:36):
watched the white rabbit as he fumbled over the list,
feeling very curious to see what the next witness would
be like, for they haven't got much evidence yet, She
said to herself, Imagine her surprise when the white rabbit
read out, at the top of his shrill little voice,
the name Alice. End of chapter eleven, read by Kara Shallenberg,
(12:02):
March twenty ten in San Diego, California,
Chapter eleven of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll.
This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Chapter eleven,
Who Stole the Tarts? The King and Queen of Hearts
were seated on their throne when they arrived, with a
great crowd assembled about them, all sorts of little birds
(00:22):
and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards.
The Knave was standing before them in chains, with a
soldier on each side to guard him, and near the
King was the White Rabbit, with a trumpet in one
hand and a scroll of parchment in the other. In
the very middle of the court was a table with
a large dish of tarts upon it. They looked so
good that it made Alice quite hungry to look at them.
(00:45):
I wish they'd get the trial done, she thought, and
hand round the refreshments. But there seemed to be no
chance of this, so she began looking at everything about
her to pass away the time. Alice had never been
in a court of justice before, but she had read
about them in books, and she was quite pleased to
find that she knew the name of nearly everything there.
(01:07):
That's the judge, she said to herself because of his
great wig. The judge, by the way, was the king,
and as he wore his crown over the wig, look
at the frontispiece if you want to see how he
did it. He did not look at all comfortable, and
it was certainly not becoming. And that's the jury box,
thought Alice. And those twelve creatures, she was obliged to
(01:31):
say creatures, you see, because some of them were animals
and some were birds. I suppose they are the journers.
She said this last word two or three times over
to herself, being rather proud of it, for she thought,
and rightly too, that very few little girls of her
age knew the meaning of it at all. However, jurymen
(01:53):
would have done just as well. The twelve journers were
all writing very busily on slates. What are they doing,
Alice whispered to the griffin. They can't have anything to
put down yet before the trial's begun. They're putting down
their names, the griffin whispered in reply, for fear they
should forget them before the end of the trial. Stupid things,
(02:16):
Alice began in a loud, indignant voice. But she stopped
hastily for the white rabbit cried out silence in the court,
and the king put on his spectacles and looked anxiously
round to make out who was talking. Alice could see,
as well as if she were looking over their shoulders,
that all the jurors were writing down stupid things on
(02:38):
their slates, and she could even make out that one
of them didn't know how to spell stupid, and that
he had to ask his neighbor to tell him a
nice muddle. Their slaves'll be in before the trial's over,
thought Alice. One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This,
of course Alice could not stand, and she went round
(02:59):
the court and got behind him, and very soon found
an opportunity of taking it away. She did it so
quickly that the poor little jurler it was Bill the Lizard,
could not make out at all what had become of it. So,
after hunting all about for it, he was obliged to
write with one finger for the rest of the day.
And this was of very little use, as it left
(03:20):
no mark on the slate. Harold read the accusation, said
the King. On this the white rabbit blew three blasts
on the trumpet, and then unrolled the parchment scroll and
read as follows. The Queen of Hearts, she made some
tarts all on a summer day. The Knave of Hearts,
(03:42):
he stole those tarts and took them quite away. Consider
your verdict, the King said to the jury. Not yet,
not yet. The rabbit hastily interrupted, there's a great deal
to come before that call the first witness, said the King,
and the white rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet
(04:02):
and called out first witness. The first witness was the Hatter.
He came in with a tea cup in one hand
and a piece of bread and butter in the other.
I beg pardon your majesty, he began for bringing these in.
But I hadn't quite finished my tea when I was
sent for. You ought to have finished, said the king.
(04:23):
When did you begin? The hatter looked at the march Hare,
who had followed him into the court arm in arm
with the dormouse. Fourteenth of March, I think it was,
he said, Fifteenth, said the march Hare. Sixteenth added the dormouse.
Write that down, the King said to the jury. And
(04:44):
the jury eagerly wrote down all three dates on their slates,
and then added them up and reduced the answer to
shillings and pence. Take off your hat, the king said
to the hatter. It isn't mine, said the hatter, stolen,
the king exclaimed, turning to the jury, who instantly made
a memorandum of the fact. I keep them to sell.
(05:07):
The hatter added, as an explanation, I've none of my own.
I'm a hatter here. The queen put on her spectacles
and began staring at the hatter, who turned pale and fidgeted.
Give your evidence, said the king, and don't be nervous,
or I'll have you executed on the spot. This did
(05:27):
not seem to encourage the witness at all. He kept
shifting from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at
the Queen, and in his confusion, he bit a large
piece out of his tea cup instead of the bread
and butter. Just at this moment, Alice felt a very
curious sensation, which puzzled her a good deal until she
(05:48):
made out what it was. She was beginning to grow
larger again, and she thought at first she would get
up and leave the court, but on second thoughts, she
decided to remain where she was as long as there
was room for her. I wish you wouldn't squeeze, so
said the dormouse, who was sitting next to her. I
can hardly breathe. I can't help it, said Alice, very meekly.
(06:11):
I'm growing. You've no right to grow here, said the dormouse.
Don't talk nonsense, said Alice, more boldly. You know you're
growing too, Yes, but I grow at a reasonable pace,
said the dormouse, not in that ridiculous fashion, and he
got up, very sulkily and crossed over to the other
(06:33):
side of the court. All this time the Queen had
never left off staring at the hatter, and just as
the dormouse crossed the court, she said to one of
the officers of the court, bring me the list of
the singers in the last concert, on which the wretched
hatter trembled so that he shook both his shoes off.
(06:55):
Give your evidence, the king repeated, angrily, or I'll have
you executed, whether you're nervous or not. I'm a poor man,
your majesty, the hatter began, in a trembling voice. And
I hadn't begun my tea, not above a week or so,
and what with the bread and butter getting so thin,
(07:15):
and the twinkling of the tea, the twinkling of the hot,
said the king. It began with the tea. The hatter replied,
of course, twinkling begins with a tea, said the king, sharply,
do you take me for a dunce? Go on, I'm
a poor man. The hatter went on, and most things
(07:38):
twinkled after that, only the march hare said I didn't.
The march hare interrupted, in a great hurry, you did,
said the hatter. I deny it, said the march hare.
He denies it, said the king. Leave out that part well,
at any rate, the dormouse said. The hatter went on,
(07:58):
looking anxiously round to see if he would deny it too,
but the dormouse denied nothing, being fast asleep. After that,
continued the hatter. I cut some more bread and butter.
But what did the dormouse say. One of the jury
asked that, I can't remember, said the hatter. You must remember,
(08:20):
remarked the king, or I'll have you executed. The miserable
hatter dropped his teacup and bread and butter, and went
down on one knee. I'm a poor man, your majesty,
he began, You are a very poor speaker, said the king.
Here one of the guinea pigs cheered and was immediately
(08:42):
suppressed by the officers of the court. As that is
rather a hard word, I will just explain to you
how it was done. They had a large canvas bag
which tied up at the mouth with strings. Into this
they slipped the guinea pig head first, and then sat
upon it. I'm glad I've seen that done, thought Alice.
I've so often read in the newspapers at the end
(09:04):
of trials there was some attempts at applause, which was
immediately suppressed by the officers of the court, and I
never understood what it meant till now. If that's all
you know about it, you may stand down, continued the king.
I can't go no lower, said the hatter. I'm on
the floor as it is. Then you may sit down,
(09:25):
the king replied. Here the other guinea pig cheered and
was suppressed. Come that finished, the guinea pigs, thought, Alice.
Now we shall get on better. I'd rather finish my tea,
said the hatter, with an anxious look at the Queen,
who was reading the list of singers. You may go,
(09:46):
said the king, and the hatter hurriedly left the court,
without even waiting to put his shoes on, and just
take his head off outside, the queen added to one
of the officers, but the hatter was out of so
before the officer could get to the door, Call the
next witness, said the king. The next witness was the
(10:08):
Duchess's cook. She carried the pepper box in her hand,
and Alice guessed who it was even before she got
into the court. By the way, the people near the
door began sneezing all at once. Give your evidence, said
the king. Shan't, said the cook. The King looked anxiously
at the white rabbit, who said, in a low voice,
(10:30):
your Majesty must cross examine this witness. Well, if I must,
I must, the King said with a melancholy air, and
after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till
his eyes were nearly out of sight, he said, in
a deep voice, what are tarts made of pepper? Mostly?
(10:52):
Said the cook. Treacle said a sleepy voice behind her collar.
That dormouse. The Queen shrieked out, behead that dormouse. Turn
that dormouse out of court, suppress him, pinch him, off
with his whiskers. For some minutes, the whole court was
in confusion getting the dormouse turned out, and by the
(11:14):
time they had settled down again, the cook had disappeared.
Never mind, said the King, with an air of great relief.
Call the next witness, and he added in an undertone
to the Queen, Really, my dear, you must cross examine
the next witness. It quite makes my forehead ache. Alice
(11:36):
watched the white rabbit as he fumbled over the list,
feeling very curious to see what the next witness would
be like, for they haven't got much evidence yet, She
said to herself, Imagine her surprise when the white rabbit
read out, at the top of his shrill little voice,
the name Alice. End of chapter eleven, read by Kara Shallenberg,
(12:02):
March twenty ten in San Diego, California,
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