September 27, 2024 • 40 mins
Have you ever felt held back in your business? Like something is blocking you from moving forward but you’ve not sure what? Maybe you’ve read somewhere that you only have a block if you believe you have a block… In this episode, we’re talking about:
- The concept of blocks in personal and business development
- Different perspectives on blocks among coaches and why I believe in blocks
- Common fears and blocks experienced by entrepreneurs
- Strategies for identifying and overcoming your blocks so you can reach your next level
- Own Your Intuition Workshop: https://coachlaurenashley.thrivecart.com/own-your-intuition-mini-workshop/
- Rise Goddess Waitlist: https://coachlaurenashley.com/rise-goddess-womens-circle/
- Share this episode with a friend or colleague
- Leave a review for the podcast
- Join the waitlist for Rise Goddess
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I have noticed that there are some coaches and healers
and service providers who don't believe in blocks, and then
there are some coaches and healers and service providers who
do believe in blocks. I want to share my perspective
and how I see blocks show up for people, because
(00:22):
there is a narrative online that can make I think
can get a little bit confusing. Welcome to the Aligned
and Magnetic Podcast. I'm your host, Laura Ashley, Intuitive business coach,
certified by the International Coaching Federation, and they call me
(00:44):
the Money, Mindset and Manifestation Queen. I take a spiritual
and practical approach that's backed by neuroscience to help you
make your vision a reality, but more importantly, doing it
in a way that lights you the fuck up. Ready
to create an aligned, magnetic, and profitable business so you
can live a life and do the work you are
(01:06):
absolutely in love with.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
You're in the right place.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Get ready to hear the powerful questions and raw lessons
that you need to create success your way. Thank you
so much for being here. Let's dive in. I love
Welcome back to another episode of the Aligned to Magnetic podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
So today I want to talk to you about blocks.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Blocks something that I read on threads. It's been a while,
but I've been thinking about this thread for a while.
Now is there. You don't have a block unless you
believe you have a block, right, And while I believe
that this is true to some extent, I want to
share with you how blocks work for me and my
(01:51):
life and for my clients. So I do believe in blocks,
and I believe in blocks because I believe that our
experience and our thought processes and the way in which
we make decisions comes from how we have learned to
be exist make decisions in life, and our brain can
(02:16):
sometimes create stories and fear and reasons or excuses to
not do the thing that you know you have to do.
Sometimes these are very conscious, like sometimes you're just like, man,
I don't know if I want to talk about that,
because I might get canceled. And sometimes there's actually something
(02:40):
that's underlying that you don't even know is there, and
it is maybe something like, for example, if something feels
too complicated for me, I'll avoid the shit out of
it because I don't.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Like feeling.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Like I'm in a tizzy or something's like overwhelming or caseotic.
If it feels too big, I go into fight flight
or freeze right, so that right there can be a block.
Sometimes it's even in our pricing, Like I notice a
lot of coaches and service providers sometimes will maybe charge
(03:16):
less money for their services because they're just building their confidence.
But then once they get to a certain level and
they haven't raised their pricing, they start to feel like
they're not fully compensated for their work, and so they'll
hold themselves back from talking about their thing or their
offer because they don't want to actually fill that offer
because they're not being properly compensated for it. So our
(03:37):
brain can create all of these different pathways or reasons,
and if we're not aware, if we're not maybe having
conversations about it, or you're not taking the time to
ask yourself deeper questions, which if you're not, I don't
blame you. We're not really taught how to navigate this
as human beings. Then it's really easy to to actually
(04:00):
avoid reaching your next level or doing the thing that
you know you have to do because you've got maybe
a script or a pattern running in the back of
your mind. Now, people approach blocks differently. I have some
colleagues and clients even that approach blocks from a energy perspective,
and they work solely on the energetics. You don't really
(04:23):
have to go into depth on why this thing came
here to be or how that thing is like affecting
your life and blah blah blah.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
So and I think that's valid.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
What has worked really well for me is having a
space to talk through and to process whatever is holding
me back so that I can actually become more aware
of when that thing shows up again in the future.
And I say this because there are some people who
believe that, oh, once you heal the thing, then it's
(04:58):
never going to show up again. And I honestly don't
know if I.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Believe in that.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Maybe it's true, but I have overcome a lot of
things in my life and I have reprogrammed or shifted
the way in which I see something. I have felt
like the most competent person, and then I have been
knocked back down. Even though I built that confidence on
a very solid foundation. It wasn't just like fake competence.
(05:28):
So I don't know if I necessarily believe that blocks
can be vanished for good, but I do believe and
know what has worked for me and that has been
having a reflective practice and definitely having a space where
you can talk through these scenarios and situations, whether that's
(05:50):
with your partner, whether that's with your best friend, whether
it's with a coach or a therapist, like whatever modality
works best for you. I find it's really helpful to
have people who can reflect back to you without judgment
or without putting in their two cents or try to
solve your problem. I find that this is like probably
(06:10):
one of the hardest things in finding someone who can
support you is that a lot of people don't know
how to listen without solving problems. And again, this isn't
like shade on that person. It's just that like I
used to be that person. I used to not be
able to hold space for people until I learned how
to coach and how beneficial it is to actually just
(06:32):
sit and listen to someone without having to solve their problem. Okay,
so now to get into this episode because I want
to actually highlight some of the blocks or fears that
are that might be holding you back from reaching your
next level in business. And I just want to say,
if any of this resonates with you today and you
feel like, somebody you know could benefit from this episode,
(06:54):
I would love it if you shared the episode with them.
I'm really trying to increase my listenership the Aligned to
Magnetic podcast, and I actually just had a conversation today
with my coaching network that I'm involved with, and I
was like, man, I really just want to grow my
podcast without adding a bunch of extra things that I
have to do. And someone gave me this idea of like,
(07:16):
why don't you just ask your listeners to share if
it resonated and if they found value in it, And I.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Was like, oh, yeah, I could totally do that.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
So if you find value in this episode, I would
be so honored and grateful if you did share it
with somebody that you think could benefit, or even if
you wanted to share it with your email lists, that
would be so amazing. And definitely tag me in it.
If you share it on Instagram, I will reshare. So
here are some of the top things that come up
for me as a coach and as an entrepreneur and
(07:43):
my clients as well. So these are conversations that I've
had very recently. They are not old conversations, and I
think that they can happen at any level. So the
first one, the first mindset block that can be holding
you back is fear of being canceled or criticized. Now,
this might be something that is top of mind for you,
or it might be something that's still lingering subconsciously and
(08:05):
you're not fully aware of it yet. I have definitely
been navigating this myself as well, with everything that I've
gone through over the last couple of years, where my
life felt like it was in shambles, but yet I
was like the happiest I've ever been. You can listen
to all of what I went through in the first
couple episodes of season two and hear.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
More about that.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
But definitely, I have to say that the narrative around
the coaching industry lately has me feeling scared to share
my true thoughts online because I don't want to get canceled.
I don't want people to take something out of context.
I am afraid of being just like every other bad
(08:49):
coach that's getting shit on right now. And this is
a whole other conversation that we can have at a
later time. If you would like to have this kind
of conversation, then please let me know. Either send me
a DM right now before you forget on Instagram and say, hey,
I would love to have a conversation about the coaching industry.
I would love to chat more with you about what
(09:11):
you're experiencing and just see how I can support and
offer some of my own perspectives. But fear of being
canceled and criticized is a huge one. And this isn't
just something that's recent. I experienced this right when I
was beginning my business. My clients experienced it right when
they're beginning their business. They experience it even now, like
(09:33):
being three years in. I'm experiencing it now being six
years in. You know, So this isn't something that really
goes away. It is something that can be maybe temporarily
go away.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
But I find that.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
These things can resurface as we evolve and as new
things come to light, and as we go through life
and experience different things, and.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
So something that.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Is actually beneficial. Let's talk about the benefits of this fear,
right because I think that this fear is forcing us
to do our best work possible. Now, of course, it
requires you to have your finger on the pulse around
whether this is something that's holding you back or whether
(10:20):
your higher self is like, bitch, you can step it up,
like you can be better. And I say this because
there are a lot of lazy.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
People out there. And I don't say this to be rude, Okay,
I think that.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
I have even experienced this where I'm just like, oh,
I'm just you know, I just need to get something
out there, and it's a tricky conversation.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
I'm not like.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I don't want you to feel bad if you do
fall into this category, because it can be really challenging
to keep up online, right, There's always things that are changing.
We are always evolving as entrepreneurs and as individuals, and
and it can feel really difficult to keep up with,
you know, posting every day and doing this and doing that.
(11:06):
Especially some of my clients have full time jobs, Like
there's no way that they are able to keep up
with all of the possible things that they have to do,
and so we have to be really selective. But also
I believe that we can create systems for ourselves that
make it easier to show up frequently and consistently without
(11:28):
reinventing the wheel every single time. So back to this
fear of being canceled or criticized. I think in a sense,
if you can look at it like, am I doing
my best work? Am I putting my best self out
there and using it to check in with yourself? And
is this good enough?
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Right?
Speaker 1 (11:48):
So Brooke Castio actually from the Life School podcast, and.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
I know that she's anyway.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
We won't go into all of the coaching industry stuff
that I see on a daily basis now, but something
I do appreciate about her work is or her maybe
thought process is putting out B plus content instead of
or B minus content instead of A plus content, right,
And I think that this is actually really great because
(12:15):
if we are always trying to put out A plus,
we are never really getting anywhere. Now. The caveat to
this is I personally pull out all the stops for
my clients. I don't believe in giving your clients a
bad experience. I will put my clients before my own business.
And I think that this can be good and it
(12:38):
can also be bad because then I tend to put
a lot of my energy towards my clients versus myself,
and I do check in with myself and say, okay,
maybe today we prioritize your business needs first. But if
something is coming up with a client that does require
my time and attention, I will put that before my
own stuff. And a great example of this is when
(12:58):
I travel, I do put my client work before my
own work because I have very limited capacity when I travel,
so I make sure that my client needs are met
before anything else, and I usually try to fall create
content or whatever if I can. It's not always possible
before I leave, so that I do have stuff that
is going out while I'm traveling. So a little ramp
(13:20):
page there, a little rant, maybe not super on topic,
but all of that to say is like, how can
you use your fear of being canceled or criticized to
just check in with yourself? And I'm not saying to
check in with yourself and buy into that fear. I'm
not saying to check in with yourself and buy into
that doubt. I'm just saying, are you doing your best?
(13:42):
I'm currently obsessed with Billie Eilish right now in her
new album, and I actually watched her in her brother's
interview and they mentioned something that sometimes we put stuff
out and it's very ego driven. It's very oh yeah,
that shit's great, that shit's amazing. But we're not actually
asking ourselves. Am I doing my absolute best?
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Here?
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Is this the best possible work that I can give
to my audience? And I think that we need to
be asking ourselves that question a little bit more often,
because I do believe that we are here to be
our best selves and that we are here to provide
a really great experience. And I also believe that when
we do provide a really great experience that replicates tenfold
(14:23):
in the future, that goes toward what is it the
love karmix, something whatever, It'll come back to you. Right
when you give your clients and the people in your
community value and really great content, really great ideas, maybe
whatever it is that that you are in, when you
give to your audience and community, that will come back
(14:46):
to you. A lot of people are so focused on
hustling and getting money, and I get that. I understand that,
and also a really big part of business is giving
for free and giving without attachment and just building those relationships,
collaborating with people and loving up on people without any
(15:06):
expectation of receiving financial investment from them in the future.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
And I do a lot of that in my business.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
So fear of being canceled, criticized. Definitely check in with yourself.
Am I doing my absolute best? Something that I actually
have used?
Speaker 3 (15:24):
So I'm like trying to play with my tone and
my voice.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
I notice that I start to yell. I like, I'm
a very loud talker, and I think when I have
a microphone, like I don't have to talk so loud,
Like I could talk like this and just be like
that could be fine, you know what I mean? And
it actually usually sounds better because my voice gets really okay. Anyway,
I digress something that has helped me with this fear
(15:48):
of being canceled criticized.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
There are two things.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
So the first thing, people are.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Okay. There are some people.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
In this world that are very unhappy with their lives,
and there are some people that have very different circumstances
than our own. And life is not fair and that's
a thing, and sometimes that can come out in criticism
(16:18):
or hateful comment and I think that is just kind
of part of life. And if you are choosing to
have an online business and put yourself out there in
different mediums, you are going to naturally open yourself up
to that. So I think part of navigating this is
developing a confidence within yourself that is unshakeable and really
(16:43):
rooting into what you believe to be true. Because when
you believe in what you are talking about, when you
believe in what you are sharing, what you are teaching,
what you are doing, then nobody can really Like sure,
people can challenge that and like question that, but it
comes from a really deeply rooted place within you instead
of just like something that can easily be challenged like
(17:05):
maybe like an idea on something, or like I don't
know something surface level, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (17:12):
So sharing your.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Truth and your beliefs and sharing from a place of no,
this is true for me is so much more powerful
than sharing from a place of.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Oh, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
But we just want to put this out there because
people might want it, and I have to post content
every day, so I'm just going to post this so
I think, And this is something that I do with
my clients, Like I spend a lot of time asking
them like, well, what do you believe in?
Speaker 2 (17:37):
What is true for you?
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Right, and really getting into the roots of their story
and their value system and their beliefs and creating content
from that solid foundation. So like when we build a
solid foundation, in business, we're not just building a foundation
that is practical, we're also building confidence and leadership and
a solid foundation in who you are are, because that
(18:01):
is such a big part of running a business online, right,
especially if you like are the personal brand, if you
are the one that's leading that business forward. If you
have a business where other people like do the ship
for you and you don't have to be super like online,
then that's really great for you. Although I have also
had many conversations with owners like that who do want
(18:23):
to explore what are my beliefs and what am I
willing to share with people? And what am I just
not willing to put out there? So I think when
we root into that, that knowing, that deep knowing within yourself,
and if you don't know what that is.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Yet, that's okay.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
I would actually invite you to download or sign up
for my own Your Intuition Workshop because this is going
to start that process I walk you through. I believe
it's a five or six different parts, and each part
is going to walk you through the questions that you
need to be asking yourself to connect, to look at yourself,
(19:07):
to look within rather than looking outside all the time. Right,
So I think something that actually, now that we're on
that topic, something that I believe holds a lot of
people back is that they're looking for that outside external
validation and they want this approval from other people, and
they want to be liked and they want to be
(19:27):
you know, accepted in all of that jazz. And while yes,
that is so valid like it is, so it's not
pleasant for anybody to deal with criticism. It's not pleasant
for anyone to deal with being canceled online. It's not
pleasant dealing with dms from creepy guys. It's not pleasant
to deal with it. But also, I think when we
(19:48):
can create a sense of internal validation and I accept
me for me, and I've got me, and I trust
to me, and this is what I believe in and
no one can really shake that belief within me because
it is something that is core to who I am,
then that is going to help you so much more
(20:13):
so shifting the mirror inward to look in word versus
constantly looking outside. And it's easy to look outside of
yourself because it's how we've been trained to be in
society with social media and just all of these other things.
And it's a practice to come back within, Like, even
though I teach on this, come back and listen to
(20:34):
your intuition. It's not something that necessarily comes naturally. It's
something I've really had to work on and that I
continue to work on, and that does work really well
when I could practice the thing, But it is not
something that is natural. Like we are taught to compare
ourselves and if you look back, I believe in evolution.
If you look back evolutionarily speaking, if you believe that
(20:56):
we come from monkeys, and actually, like I don't even
know if we come from monky. To be honest, I
don't know what I believe around that. I'm very open minded,
so I can hold space for a lot of different
beliefs at the exact same time. But let's just look
and compare ourselves to animals for a second. Right, Like
they want to be included in a pack. They get
so nervous when there's a dog that like just doesn't
(21:17):
like them, or when they're being picked on. In all
of that, Jazz, I have three dogs, so I observe
their behaviors and.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
All of that.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
But our brains are programmed to keep us safe and
keep us protected, and there is a very natural instinct
within us that does want to be accepted, that doesn't
want to be alienated or excluded from the group, right,
And that's okay. We can hold space for that and
(21:47):
accept that part of ourselves, but we don't need to
make decisions from that part of ourselves, do you know
what I mean? So I think something that's really helpful
here is learning how to become aware of that story
and learning how to navigate that conversation with yourself because
it's not something that's won and done right. It's going
to continue to come up over time. And this is
(22:09):
something that I do.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Help my clients with, by the way.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
So something else that helps with fear of being criticized
or canceled is being really open to feedback and criticism.
When I first started my business, I just wanted to
be the.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Best that I could be.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
I wanted everything to be perfect, and I hated receiving feedback.
I remember being in my coaching academy course and for
my coach certification and I would not even listen to
the feedback. I would get so defensive because I wanted
(22:48):
to be perfect. And a lot of this comes from,
I think my upbringing, but I really had to learn
how to hold space for myself and shift my perspective.
It was almost like every single time I heard a criticism,
I would hyper fixate and it wasn't even a criticism.
We call it growing edge. So in coaching, we give
(23:10):
really amazing, like glowing feedback around the things that we
do really well, because typically people don't do that right.
They focus on the areas for improvement. So we focus
on what people do really well, and then we give
one piece of growing edge feedback that they can focus
on and implement for future. Well. My brain, being the
(23:31):
perfectionist that I am, would only focus on the growing
edge feedback and would hyper criticize myself for that.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
I'd be like, Oh, that's so stupid.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Oh like whatever, or gotta love the ego. Or I
would be like, oh I did that. I don't know
what they're talking about, right, So it was very not
available for feedback. My ego would get super bruised and
I had to go through definitely the process of of
(24:01):
learning how to be open to feedback and knowing that
just because I'm receiving feedback doesn't mean that the rest
of what I do is bad. I think that is
a very interesting trick that our brain can play on
us that just because we did one thing wrong that
everything else it just negates everything else. It's what like
(24:21):
that is not the intention of feedback whatsoever. So definitely
giving yourself a lot of love and grace and recognizing
yourself if other people aren't recognizing you for you. Definitely
recognizing yourself for all the good that you do, and
then being open to and literally taking the initiative to
ask for open feedback. Now, I can't force my clients
(24:45):
to give me feedback. All I can do is create
a safe space and let them know that I am
open to feedback. I am open to hearing what they
have to say. If they are really not loving something
that I'm doing, or if they feel a certain way
about something that I'm doing as a coach, then I
like to tell them like, hey, I am open to
(25:05):
receiving feedback. Whether they actually provide that or not is
completely up to them. I know that can also be
a thing for people that they're scared to provide feedback,
but I do my best to really offer that if
they ever feel like they need to just put something
out on the table and talk about it. But I
think if we can start to create a normalize the
(25:28):
fact that we're not we can't possibly be perfect. And
this is something that's really has been helpful for me,
is that we can't possibly be perfect. We're always learning
and growing, and I think the more grace we can
give ourselves and really lean into the journey of the
learner and being like super open and honest about that,
(25:49):
I think the better off we are. So something that
I've done several times in my business and that is
super effective is I'll be like, hey, I'm trying on
this new thing.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Bear with me.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
If it feels uncomfortable, I'm sorry, but.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
This is what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
And that just relieves so much pressure off of me
when I'm trying something new or when I'm practicing something,
and I find people are so focused on having their
shit together and being the authority figure, and like, when
you're just starting out, you can take off that pressure
and you can actually just lean into hey, I'm new
(26:22):
at this, let me try this on, you know what
I mean. There's something so beautiful about that beginning journey
that I think so many entrepreneurs, including myself, until I
stopped doing this, just shy away from because they want
to be seen as put together and like bitch, like
nobody's put together. Okay, nobody's put together. And I think
(26:43):
the more that we can be open and vulnerable about that,
the better out we all are because it's showing our
clients that, like, hey, I don't have everything put together.
This might feel messy and clunky, and I'm also open
to feedback. And it also gives them them permission to
share with you because you're putting it out on the
table and you're laying your cards out now, that might
(27:06):
not be everyone's modus operendi, and that is totally okay.
This is just something that's worked really well for me
that I want to invite you to do. So something
else to help with fear of being canceled or criticized
is knowing when to tune it out. So there are
a lot of something that we need to understand here,
(27:26):
is there are a lot of different experiences out there
in the world. Every single person on this planet is
living in a different experience. My experience is different than
your experience, and it's different than every single human being
on this planet Earth. You can put a thousand people
into a room with the best possible speaker and give
(27:48):
the best fucking presentation of your life. And I can
guarantee you that every single person in that room is
going to interpret that present differently. And some people are
going to freaking love that shit, and some people might
hate it. And I think not. I think I believe
(28:10):
that not everyone is going to resonate with our work,
and that's okay. Everybody's needs are different, everybody has the
right to experience something different, and everyone has the.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Right to.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Not love everything that we put out there. So knowing
when to tune out the noise and knowing when something
just doesn't apply to you. I know that a lot
of people have these fears of being canceled, but then
when they actually look at what they're wanting to put
out there, they're like, oh, why would I even be
canceled for that? So sometimes our brain will just create
these fears without any actual like reasoning, and so it's
(28:52):
important to actually look at that fear and then also
look at what it is that you're actually trying to
do and assess for yourself. Not let that fear overtake you,
and not let that fear block you or stop you
from moving forward, but really just looking at Okay, this
is something that I'm afraid of, and also like, here's
(29:12):
what I'm trying to do. Does this fear actually have
merit or is it just coming out of nowhere for
no reason. I honestly think this fear of being canceled
and criticized is probably one of the most.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
Deeply rooted fears.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Because another fear that I have definitely gone through myself
and that I've worked with my clients on is a
fear of rejection. So when you get on a sales
call and you put all this energy forth and you
present your pricing and then they're like, oh, I can't
afford that. This fear is interesting because in a sense,
(29:46):
like as as someone who's been in business for six years,
I'm like, okay, so what right, Like, what's the problem
if they can't afford it? Sometimes coaches will teach you
to overcome obstacles. And while I do believe that it's
important to hold space if your client wants to go
there or your future client wants to go there and
talk about why they can't afford it, if that's a
(30:09):
conversation that you actually want to have, I think it's
important more so to learn how to have sales conversations
with the right people. So if somebody can't afford your offering,
I think that can be If you're getting a lot
of I can't afford it, then that's probably something to
do with your messaging or the way that you are
(30:31):
positioning yourself online. And I have a lot of thoughts
on that. But fear of rejection, I get that, and
also I think that something that has I believe. I'm
trying to I'm trying to shift my speech from I
think because it's not just I think. What I believe
(30:51):
to be true and what I've experienced is that when
you can stop making it about you. And this is
going to sound super blunt, and I'm sorry, but stop
making it about yourself. Okay, it is not about you
and you are money goals and your next client and
rah rah raw like reaching your goals. This is about
the person that's in front of you. And I think
(31:12):
that when we can take a more heart centered and
client focused approach to sales, fear of rejection doesn't really
matter because it's always about what's in service to the
person that's in front of you. If they can't afford
the thing that you're selling or they maybe don't resonate
with the thing that you're selling. Then Okay, Like, how
else can I support this person that's in front of me?
(31:32):
Do I have a lower cost offering to provide? Do
I have a freebie that I can send their way
to help them? Right? It's this is a topic, like
fear of rejection, is a topic that I think really
roots into that confidence, that self confidence, and that leadership
and the ability to let go of your ego and
(31:55):
to just really focus on the person that's in front
of you and provide them with a lot of value
and prevent them with the best experience possible. Something. Another
fear that I know a lot of people experience, especially
us more feminine beings, is the fear of being locked
(32:15):
in and having a strict schedule and having to be
consistent and losing our freedom. Now, this is an interesting
fear to have because if we don't put in any work,
then are we really free, because then we are just
continuing to live the life that we know deep in
(32:36):
our hearts that we don't actually want to be living,
or we're just like running away from the thing that
we know we need to be doing, and we're ultimately
not fulfilled and satisfied. If you have something on your
heart that you know you need to be sharing with people,
that you know that you need to be putting out
there in the world, but you're constantly avoiding that thing,
(32:57):
then are you really free? Because your mind is constantly
being occupied by the thing that you know you need
to do, and then you probably end up harping on
yourself being like, oh, I know I need to do
this thing. Oh I said I was going to do
this thing. Oh bubble blah blah blah blah blah. And
so if I were in this place, I would either
(33:18):
just let that thing go or I would ask myself like, Okay,
what is it really going to take for me to
show up for the thing? And also like, y'all can
create your business and however the fuck you want. If
you don't want to work a nine to five schedule,
you don't have to, but then come up with hours
that you do want to work. Can you work from
(33:39):
nine to ten when your kids are off at school.
Can you work in the evenings when things are a
little bit quieter. Can you fit in an hour before
you start your work day. Do you have time on
the weekend to fit into your schedule and so carving
out hours and then also having a plan, because this
(34:00):
is another thing that happens right.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Is that people okay, oh I have my office hours?
What am I doing?
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Right? And so creating a plan and I can help
you with this if you would like support with this,
just DM me and we can book a strategy called together,
Send me a DM now before you forget. But creating
a plan for what you're actually going to focus on,
so that you have something that gives you that structure
to flow within. So I always talk about masculine and
(34:27):
feminine energy as a river and the rocks. So your
feminine energy is the river, and it's flowing freely. It
is beautiful, it is sparkling, it is fresh, it is
just ugh so delicious. But if we don't have the
river bend or the rocks to contain the river, then
we have no river. It's going to be like a flood.
(34:47):
Your feminine energy is going to be all over the place.
So I understand that we live in a society that
is so feeling just there's so much going on all
the time. And also so is it of service to
you and to your future business or your business whatever
level you're at.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
Is it of.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
Service to you to be spreading yourself thin and to
be committing to all of these different things? And if
it is, then that's great. But if not, then what
do you need to do to be able to carve
out time for you? I actually just had a conversation
today with somebody who is thinking of hiring a BA,
(35:29):
and we're going to hop on a call so I
can help her kind of strategize next steps, and like,
just get over that hump of oh, because the first
time you hire someone is scary, right, And I get that,
I've been there. I've been there a couple times, But
what was I going to say? Right? So her one
of her obstacles is I'm just so busy. I'm too
busy to hire somebody. And I was like, and also
(35:53):
that busyness is never going to stop. If you don't
carve out the time for the shit that is important
to you, then you are never going to have the
time to do that thing because your calendar just constantly
gets filled with other things. So understanding what your priorities are,
what your focus is, and you don't have to do
(36:14):
everything all at once. Pick a couple of things, one
to two or three things to focus on and put
your time and energy there and continue to plant that
seating and grow and evolve. Another block that can come
up is worthiness, like am I going to give my
clients the results that they want? That's a really big
one as well. What if people can't afford to pay me?
(36:37):
And all of these other things that come up when
we need to do something take that next step in
our business. So if you are someone that you know
that you have to do something, you know you have
to launch a product or program, but you've got to
put a freebee out there.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
You know that.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
I don't know, maybe you've got to raise your raids,
but you're just avoiding, like other things are showing up,
other things are distracting you. You create reasons, you feel tired,
You just can't seem to show up for the thing
that you know you have to do. Then I'm going
to say that there's probably some sort of block there,
and my own Your Intuition Workshop can help you to
(37:18):
start to see what blocks are coming up for you
because we don't just focus on owning your intuition, we
also focus on what is preventing you from hearing your
intuition and what is getting in your way from moving forward.
A lot of that work is mindset, and you will
get a workbook with journaling prompts to support you with
self reflection and navigating that process. So if you are
(37:43):
noticing that you are avoiding or that you just aren't
really taking the steps forward that you need, then definitely
get in on the Own your Intuition workshop. And if
you are ready to take a deeper look at what
is holding you back from creating success your way, whether
that's in a career or your business, then you are
(38:04):
going to want to get on the wait list for
Rise Goddess. This is a group coaching program that I created.
It is my most popular program. It is a program
that I hold really near and dear to my heart.
It is a beautiful program, and I often actually hold
myself back from launching this program because it is such
a vulnerable and pure space. It's very transformational, and there
(38:30):
can be a lot of things that come up for
us mindset wise, worthiness wise, and all of these other
fears that we have when we are doing something that
is maybe a little bit different than the mainstream and
when we are actually putting our heart out on the
line for people to see and so I just want
to say that because you're not alone in your journey,
and if I can support you in any way, please
(38:52):
let me know. But if you are ready to stop
procrastinating and really start to tune into what it is
that you need to do what you are being called
to do and learn how to use your intuition to
co create with the universe so that you can create
success your way, then get on the waitlist for Rise Goddess.
We will be launching soon. I would absolutely love to
(39:13):
support you in that space if it is the right
space for you at this time. Thank you so much
for tuning into this episode today. Remember to share this
episode with a friend or a colleague if you found
it helpful, and definitely leave me a review. I would
love to read the review out loud on my next
podcast episode and give you a shout out. I appreciate
(39:34):
any feedback that I get.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
From the podcast.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
It helps me to continue making content for you, and
it helps me to just know that this work is
a good investment of my time and energy and I
do love podcasting. So if you appreciated this episode, don't
hesitate to reach out. I would absolutely love to receive
your feedback.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
I love you.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
I hope you have an amazing day and we'll chat soon.
Thank you so much for tuning into the podcast today.
If you like what you heard, I would love it
if you left a review. If you like my vibe,
come and hang with me in my Facebook or Telegram group.
I'll drop the link to my email list below, or
you can get instant access. Make sure you check the
show notes for any other links that I mentioned today,
(40:18):
and until next time, I'm sending you waves of abundance.
I have noticed that there are some coaches and healers
and service providers who don't believe in blocks, and then
there are some coaches and healers and service providers who
do believe in blocks. I want to share my perspective
and how I see blocks show up for people, because
(00:22):
there is a narrative online that can make I think
can get a little bit confusing. Welcome to the Aligned
and Magnetic Podcast. I'm your host, Laura Ashley, Intuitive business coach,
certified by the International Coaching Federation, and they call me
(00:44):
the Money, Mindset and Manifestation Queen. I take a spiritual
and practical approach that's backed by neuroscience to help you
make your vision a reality, but more importantly, doing it
in a way that lights you the fuck up. Ready
to create an aligned, magnetic, and profitable business so you
can live a life and do the work you are
(01:06):
absolutely in love with.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
You're in the right place.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Get ready to hear the powerful questions and raw lessons
that you need to create success your way. Thank you
so much for being here. Let's dive in. I love
Welcome back to another episode of the Aligned to Magnetic podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
So today I want to talk to you about blocks.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Blocks something that I read on threads. It's been a while,
but I've been thinking about this thread for a while.
Now is there. You don't have a block unless you
believe you have a block, right, And while I believe
that this is true to some extent, I want to
share with you how blocks work for me and my
(01:51):
life and for my clients. So I do believe in blocks,
and I believe in blocks because I believe that our
experience and our thought processes and the way in which
we make decisions comes from how we have learned to
be exist make decisions in life, and our brain can
(02:16):
sometimes create stories and fear and reasons or excuses to
not do the thing that you know you have to do.
Sometimes these are very conscious, like sometimes you're just like, man,
I don't know if I want to talk about that,
because I might get canceled. And sometimes there's actually something
(02:40):
that's underlying that you don't even know is there, and
it is maybe something like, for example, if something feels
too complicated for me, I'll avoid the shit out of
it because I don't.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Like feeling.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Like I'm in a tizzy or something's like overwhelming or caseotic.
If it feels too big, I go into fight flight
or freeze right, so that right there can be a block.
Sometimes it's even in our pricing, Like I notice a
lot of coaches and service providers sometimes will maybe charge
(03:16):
less money for their services because they're just building their confidence.
But then once they get to a certain level and
they haven't raised their pricing, they start to feel like
they're not fully compensated for their work, and so they'll
hold themselves back from talking about their thing or their
offer because they don't want to actually fill that offer
because they're not being properly compensated for it. So our
(03:37):
brain can create all of these different pathways or reasons,
and if we're not aware, if we're not maybe having
conversations about it, or you're not taking the time to
ask yourself deeper questions, which if you're not, I don't
blame you. We're not really taught how to navigate this
as human beings. Then it's really easy to to actually
(04:00):
avoid reaching your next level or doing the thing that
you know you have to do because you've got maybe
a script or a pattern running in the back of
your mind. Now, people approach blocks differently. I have some
colleagues and clients even that approach blocks from a energy perspective,
and they work solely on the energetics. You don't really
(04:23):
have to go into depth on why this thing came
here to be or how that thing is like affecting
your life and blah blah blah.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
So and I think that's valid.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
What has worked really well for me is having a
space to talk through and to process whatever is holding
me back so that I can actually become more aware
of when that thing shows up again in the future.
And I say this because there are some people who
believe that, oh, once you heal the thing, then it's
(04:58):
never going to show up again. And I honestly don't
know if I.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Believe in that.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Maybe it's true, but I have overcome a lot of
things in my life and I have reprogrammed or shifted
the way in which I see something. I have felt
like the most competent person, and then I have been
knocked back down. Even though I built that confidence on
a very solid foundation. It wasn't just like fake competence.
(05:28):
So I don't know if I necessarily believe that blocks
can be vanished for good, but I do believe and
know what has worked for me and that has been
having a reflective practice and definitely having a space where
you can talk through these scenarios and situations, whether that's
(05:50):
with your partner, whether that's with your best friend, whether
it's with a coach or a therapist, like whatever modality
works best for you. I find it's really helpful to
have people who can reflect back to you without judgment
or without putting in their two cents or try to
solve your problem. I find that this is like probably
(06:10):
one of the hardest things in finding someone who can
support you is that a lot of people don't know
how to listen without solving problems. And again, this isn't
like shade on that person. It's just that like I
used to be that person. I used to not be
able to hold space for people until I learned how
to coach and how beneficial it is to actually just
(06:32):
sit and listen to someone without having to solve their problem. Okay,
so now to get into this episode because I want
to actually highlight some of the blocks or fears that
are that might be holding you back from reaching your
next level in business. And I just want to say,
if any of this resonates with you today and you
feel like, somebody you know could benefit from this episode,
(06:54):
I would love it if you shared the episode with them.
I'm really trying to increase my listenership the Aligned to
Magnetic podcast, and I actually just had a conversation today
with my coaching network that I'm involved with, and I
was like, man, I really just want to grow my
podcast without adding a bunch of extra things that I
have to do. And someone gave me this idea of like,
(07:16):
why don't you just ask your listeners to share if
it resonated and if they found value in it, And I.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Was like, oh, yeah, I could totally do that.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
So if you find value in this episode, I would
be so honored and grateful if you did share it
with somebody that you think could benefit, or even if
you wanted to share it with your email lists, that
would be so amazing. And definitely tag me in it.
If you share it on Instagram, I will reshare. So
here are some of the top things that come up
for me as a coach and as an entrepreneur and
(07:43):
my clients as well. So these are conversations that I've
had very recently. They are not old conversations, and I
think that they can happen at any level. So the
first one, the first mindset block that can be holding
you back is fear of being canceled or criticized. Now,
this might be something that is top of mind for you,
or it might be something that's still lingering subconsciously and
(08:05):
you're not fully aware of it yet. I have definitely
been navigating this myself as well, with everything that I've
gone through over the last couple of years, where my
life felt like it was in shambles, but yet I
was like the happiest I've ever been. You can listen
to all of what I went through in the first
couple episodes of season two and hear.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
More about that.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
But definitely, I have to say that the narrative around
the coaching industry lately has me feeling scared to share
my true thoughts online because I don't want to get canceled.
I don't want people to take something out of context.
I am afraid of being just like every other bad
(08:49):
coach that's getting shit on right now. And this is
a whole other conversation that we can have at a
later time. If you would like to have this kind
of conversation, then please let me know. Either send me
a DM right now before you forget on Instagram and say, hey,
I would love to have a conversation about the coaching industry.
I would love to chat more with you about what
(09:11):
you're experiencing and just see how I can support and
offer some of my own perspectives. But fear of being
canceled and criticized is a huge one. And this isn't
just something that's recent. I experienced this right when I
was beginning my business. My clients experienced it right when
they're beginning their business. They experience it even now, like
(09:33):
being three years in. I'm experiencing it now being six
years in. You know, So this isn't something that really
goes away. It is something that can be maybe temporarily
go away.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
But I find that.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
These things can resurface as we evolve and as new
things come to light, and as we go through life
and experience different things, and.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
So something that.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Is actually beneficial. Let's talk about the benefits of this fear,
right because I think that this fear is forcing us
to do our best work possible. Now, of course, it
requires you to have your finger on the pulse around
whether this is something that's holding you back or whether
(10:20):
your higher self is like, bitch, you can step it up,
like you can be better. And I say this because
there are a lot of lazy.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
People out there. And I don't say this to be rude, Okay,
I think that.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
I have even experienced this where I'm just like, oh,
I'm just you know, I just need to get something
out there, and it's a tricky conversation.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
I'm not like.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I don't want you to feel bad if you do
fall into this category, because it can be really challenging
to keep up online, right, There's always things that are changing.
We are always evolving as entrepreneurs and as individuals, and
and it can feel really difficult to keep up with,
you know, posting every day and doing this and doing that.
(11:06):
Especially some of my clients have full time jobs, Like
there's no way that they are able to keep up
with all of the possible things that they have to do,
and so we have to be really selective. But also
I believe that we can create systems for ourselves that
make it easier to show up frequently and consistently without
(11:28):
reinventing the wheel every single time. So back to this
fear of being canceled or criticized. I think in a sense,
if you can look at it like, am I doing
my best work? Am I putting my best self out
there and using it to check in with yourself? And
is this good enough?
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Right?
Speaker 1 (11:48):
So Brooke Castio actually from the Life School podcast, and.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
I know that she's anyway.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
We won't go into all of the coaching industry stuff
that I see on a daily basis now, but something
I do appreciate about her work is or her maybe
thought process is putting out B plus content instead of
or B minus content instead of A plus content, right,
And I think that this is actually really great because
(12:15):
if we are always trying to put out A plus,
we are never really getting anywhere. Now. The caveat to
this is I personally pull out all the stops for
my clients. I don't believe in giving your clients a
bad experience. I will put my clients before my own business.
And I think that this can be good and it
(12:38):
can also be bad because then I tend to put
a lot of my energy towards my clients versus myself,
and I do check in with myself and say, okay,
maybe today we prioritize your business needs first. But if
something is coming up with a client that does require
my time and attention, I will put that before my
own stuff. And a great example of this is when
(12:58):
I travel, I do put my client work before my
own work because I have very limited capacity when I travel,
so I make sure that my client needs are met
before anything else, and I usually try to fall create
content or whatever if I can. It's not always possible
before I leave, so that I do have stuff that
is going out while I'm traveling. So a little ramp
(13:20):
page there, a little rant, maybe not super on topic,
but all of that to say is like, how can
you use your fear of being canceled or criticized to
just check in with yourself? And I'm not saying to
check in with yourself and buy into that fear. I'm
not saying to check in with yourself and buy into
that doubt. I'm just saying, are you doing your best?
(13:42):
I'm currently obsessed with Billie Eilish right now in her
new album, and I actually watched her in her brother's
interview and they mentioned something that sometimes we put stuff
out and it's very ego driven. It's very oh yeah,
that shit's great, that shit's amazing. But we're not actually
asking ourselves. Am I doing my absolute best?
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Here?
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Is this the best possible work that I can give
to my audience? And I think that we need to
be asking ourselves that question a little bit more often,
because I do believe that we are here to be
our best selves and that we are here to provide
a really great experience. And I also believe that when
we do provide a really great experience that replicates tenfold
(14:23):
in the future, that goes toward what is it the
love karmix, something whatever, It'll come back to you. Right
when you give your clients and the people in your
community value and really great content, really great ideas, maybe
whatever it is that that you are in, when you
give to your audience and community, that will come back
(14:46):
to you. A lot of people are so focused on
hustling and getting money, and I get that. I understand that,
and also a really big part of business is giving
for free and giving without attachment and just building those relationships,
collaborating with people and loving up on people without any
(15:06):
expectation of receiving financial investment from them in the future.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
And I do a lot of that in my business.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
So fear of being canceled, criticized. Definitely check in with yourself.
Am I doing my absolute best? Something that I actually
have used?
Speaker 3 (15:24):
So I'm like trying to play with my tone and
my voice.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
I notice that I start to yell. I like, I'm
a very loud talker, and I think when I have
a microphone, like I don't have to talk so loud,
Like I could talk like this and just be like
that could be fine, you know what I mean? And
it actually usually sounds better because my voice gets really okay. Anyway,
I digress something that has helped me with this fear
(15:48):
of being canceled criticized.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
There are two things.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
So the first thing, people are.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Okay. There are some people.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
In this world that are very unhappy with their lives,
and there are some people that have very different circumstances
than our own. And life is not fair and that's
a thing, and sometimes that can come out in criticism
(16:18):
or hateful comment and I think that is just kind
of part of life. And if you are choosing to
have an online business and put yourself out there in
different mediums, you are going to naturally open yourself up
to that. So I think part of navigating this is
developing a confidence within yourself that is unshakeable and really
(16:43):
rooting into what you believe to be true. Because when
you believe in what you are talking about, when you
believe in what you are sharing, what you are teaching,
what you are doing, then nobody can really Like sure,
people can challenge that and like question that, but it
comes from a really deeply rooted place within you instead
of just like something that can easily be challenged like
(17:05):
maybe like an idea on something, or like I don't
know something surface level, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (17:12):
So sharing your.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Truth and your beliefs and sharing from a place of no,
this is true for me is so much more powerful
than sharing from a place of.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Oh, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
But we just want to put this out there because
people might want it, and I have to post content
every day, so I'm just going to post this so
I think, And this is something that I do with
my clients, Like I spend a lot of time asking
them like, well, what do you believe in?
Speaker 2 (17:37):
What is true for you?
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Right, and really getting into the roots of their story
and their value system and their beliefs and creating content
from that solid foundation. So like when we build a
solid foundation, in business, we're not just building a foundation
that is practical, we're also building confidence and leadership and
a solid foundation in who you are are, because that
(18:01):
is such a big part of running a business online, right,
especially if you like are the personal brand, if you
are the one that's leading that business forward. If you
have a business where other people like do the ship
for you and you don't have to be super like online,
then that's really great for you. Although I have also
had many conversations with owners like that who do want
(18:23):
to explore what are my beliefs and what am I
willing to share with people? And what am I just
not willing to put out there? So I think when
we root into that, that knowing, that deep knowing within yourself,
and if you don't know what that is.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Yet, that's okay.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
I would actually invite you to download or sign up
for my own Your Intuition Workshop because this is going
to start that process I walk you through. I believe
it's a five or six different parts, and each part
is going to walk you through the questions that you
need to be asking yourself to connect, to look at yourself,
(19:07):
to look within rather than looking outside all the time. Right,
So I think something that actually, now that we're on
that topic, something that I believe holds a lot of
people back is that they're looking for that outside external
validation and they want this approval from other people, and
they want to be liked and they want to be
(19:27):
you know, accepted in all of that jazz. And while yes,
that is so valid like it is, so it's not
pleasant for anybody to deal with criticism. It's not pleasant
for anyone to deal with being canceled online. It's not
pleasant dealing with dms from creepy guys. It's not pleasant
to deal with it. But also, I think when we
(19:48):
can create a sense of internal validation and I accept
me for me, and I've got me, and I trust
to me, and this is what I believe in and
no one can really shake that belief within me because
it is something that is core to who I am,
then that is going to help you so much more
(20:13):
so shifting the mirror inward to look in word versus
constantly looking outside. And it's easy to look outside of
yourself because it's how we've been trained to be in
society with social media and just all of these other things.
And it's a practice to come back within, Like, even
though I teach on this, come back and listen to
(20:34):
your intuition. It's not something that necessarily comes naturally. It's
something I've really had to work on and that I
continue to work on, and that does work really well
when I could practice the thing, But it is not
something that is natural. Like we are taught to compare
ourselves and if you look back, I believe in evolution.
If you look back evolutionarily speaking, if you believe that
(20:56):
we come from monkeys, and actually, like I don't even
know if we come from monky. To be honest, I
don't know what I believe around that. I'm very open minded,
so I can hold space for a lot of different
beliefs at the exact same time. But let's just look
and compare ourselves to animals for a second. Right, Like
they want to be included in a pack. They get
so nervous when there's a dog that like just doesn't
(21:17):
like them, or when they're being picked on. In all
of that, Jazz, I have three dogs, so I observe
their behaviors and.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
All of that.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
But our brains are programmed to keep us safe and
keep us protected, and there is a very natural instinct
within us that does want to be accepted, that doesn't
want to be alienated or excluded from the group, right,
And that's okay. We can hold space for that and
(21:47):
accept that part of ourselves, but we don't need to
make decisions from that part of ourselves, do you know
what I mean? So I think something that's really helpful
here is learning how to become aware of that story
and learning how to navigate that conversation with yourself because
it's not something that's won and done right. It's going
to continue to come up over time. And this is
(22:09):
something that I do.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Help my clients with, by the way.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
So something else that helps with fear of being criticized
or canceled is being really open to feedback and criticism.
When I first started my business, I just wanted to
be the.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Best that I could be.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
I wanted everything to be perfect, and I hated receiving feedback.
I remember being in my coaching academy course and for
my coach certification and I would not even listen to
the feedback. I would get so defensive because I wanted
(22:48):
to be perfect. And a lot of this comes from,
I think my upbringing, but I really had to learn
how to hold space for myself and shift my perspective.
It was almost like every single time I heard a criticism,
I would hyper fixate and it wasn't even a criticism.
We call it growing edge. So in coaching, we give
(23:10):
really amazing, like glowing feedback around the things that we
do really well, because typically people don't do that right.
They focus on the areas for improvement. So we focus
on what people do really well, and then we give
one piece of growing edge feedback that they can focus
on and implement for future. Well. My brain, being the
(23:31):
perfectionist that I am, would only focus on the growing
edge feedback and would hyper criticize myself for that.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
I'd be like, Oh, that's so stupid.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Oh like whatever, or gotta love the ego. Or I
would be like, oh I did that. I don't know
what they're talking about, right, So it was very not
available for feedback. My ego would get super bruised and
I had to go through definitely the process of of
(24:01):
learning how to be open to feedback and knowing that
just because I'm receiving feedback doesn't mean that the rest
of what I do is bad. I think that is
a very interesting trick that our brain can play on
us that just because we did one thing wrong that
everything else it just negates everything else. It's what like
(24:21):
that is not the intention of feedback whatsoever. So definitely
giving yourself a lot of love and grace and recognizing
yourself if other people aren't recognizing you for you. Definitely
recognizing yourself for all the good that you do, and
then being open to and literally taking the initiative to
ask for open feedback. Now, I can't force my clients
(24:45):
to give me feedback. All I can do is create
a safe space and let them know that I am
open to feedback. I am open to hearing what they
have to say. If they are really not loving something
that I'm doing, or if they feel a certain way
about something that I'm doing as a coach, then I
like to tell them like, hey, I am open to
(25:05):
receiving feedback. Whether they actually provide that or not is
completely up to them. I know that can also be
a thing for people that they're scared to provide feedback,
but I do my best to really offer that if
they ever feel like they need to just put something
out on the table and talk about it. But I
think if we can start to create a normalize the
(25:28):
fact that we're not we can't possibly be perfect. And
this is something that's really has been helpful for me,
is that we can't possibly be perfect. We're always learning
and growing, and I think the more grace we can
give ourselves and really lean into the journey of the
learner and being like super open and honest about that,
(25:49):
I think the better off we are. So something that
I've done several times in my business and that is
super effective is I'll be like, hey, I'm trying on
this new thing.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Bear with me.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
If it feels uncomfortable, I'm sorry, but.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
This is what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
And that just relieves so much pressure off of me
when I'm trying something new or when I'm practicing something,
and I find people are so focused on having their
shit together and being the authority figure, and like, when
you're just starting out, you can take off that pressure
and you can actually just lean into hey, I'm new
(26:22):
at this, let me try this on, you know what
I mean. There's something so beautiful about that beginning journey
that I think so many entrepreneurs, including myself, until I
stopped doing this, just shy away from because they want
to be seen as put together and like bitch, like
nobody's put together. Okay, nobody's put together. And I think
(26:43):
the more that we can be open and vulnerable about that,
the better out we all are because it's showing our
clients that, like, hey, I don't have everything put together.
This might feel messy and clunky, and I'm also open
to feedback. And it also gives them them permission to
share with you because you're putting it out on the
table and you're laying your cards out now, that might
(27:06):
not be everyone's modus operendi, and that is totally okay.
This is just something that's worked really well for me
that I want to invite you to do. So something
else to help with fear of being canceled or criticized
is knowing when to tune it out. So there are
a lot of something that we need to understand here,
(27:26):
is there are a lot of different experiences out there
in the world. Every single person on this planet is
living in a different experience. My experience is different than
your experience, and it's different than every single human being
on this planet Earth. You can put a thousand people
into a room with the best possible speaker and give
(27:48):
the best fucking presentation of your life. And I can
guarantee you that every single person in that room is
going to interpret that present differently. And some people are
going to freaking love that shit, and some people might
hate it. And I think not. I think I believe
(28:10):
that not everyone is going to resonate with our work,
and that's okay. Everybody's needs are different, everybody has the
right to experience something different, and everyone has the.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Right to.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Not love everything that we put out there. So knowing
when to tune out the noise and knowing when something
just doesn't apply to you. I know that a lot
of people have these fears of being canceled, but then
when they actually look at what they're wanting to put
out there, they're like, oh, why would I even be
canceled for that? So sometimes our brain will just create
these fears without any actual like reasoning, and so it's
(28:52):
important to actually look at that fear and then also
look at what it is that you're actually trying to
do and assess for yourself. Not let that fear overtake you,
and not let that fear block you or stop you
from moving forward, but really just looking at Okay, this
is something that I'm afraid of, and also like, here's
(29:12):
what I'm trying to do. Does this fear actually have
merit or is it just coming out of nowhere for
no reason. I honestly think this fear of being canceled
and criticized is probably one of the most.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
Deeply rooted fears.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Because another fear that I have definitely gone through myself
and that I've worked with my clients on is a
fear of rejection. So when you get on a sales
call and you put all this energy forth and you
present your pricing and then they're like, oh, I can't
afford that. This fear is interesting because in a sense,
(29:46):
like as as someone who's been in business for six years,
I'm like, okay, so what right, Like, what's the problem
if they can't afford it? Sometimes coaches will teach you
to overcome obstacles. And while I do believe that it's
important to hold space if your client wants to go
there or your future client wants to go there and
talk about why they can't afford it, if that's a
(30:09):
conversation that you actually want to have, I think it's
important more so to learn how to have sales conversations
with the right people. So if somebody can't afford your offering,
I think that can be If you're getting a lot
of I can't afford it, then that's probably something to
do with your messaging or the way that you are
(30:31):
positioning yourself online. And I have a lot of thoughts
on that. But fear of rejection, I get that, and
also I think that something that has I believe. I'm
trying to I'm trying to shift my speech from I
think because it's not just I think. What I believe
(30:51):
to be true and what I've experienced is that when
you can stop making it about you. And this is
going to sound super blunt, and I'm sorry, but stop
making it about yourself. Okay, it is not about you
and you are money goals and your next client and
rah rah raw like reaching your goals. This is about
the person that's in front of you. And I think
(31:12):
that when we can take a more heart centered and
client focused approach to sales, fear of rejection doesn't really
matter because it's always about what's in service to the
person that's in front of you. If they can't afford
the thing that you're selling or they maybe don't resonate
with the thing that you're selling. Then Okay, Like, how
else can I support this person that's in front of me?
(31:32):
Do I have a lower cost offering to provide? Do
I have a freebie that I can send their way
to help them? Right? It's this is a topic, like
fear of rejection, is a topic that I think really
roots into that confidence, that self confidence, and that leadership
and the ability to let go of your ego and
(31:55):
to just really focus on the person that's in front
of you and provide them with a lot of value
and prevent them with the best experience possible. Something. Another
fear that I know a lot of people experience, especially
us more feminine beings, is the fear of being locked
(32:15):
in and having a strict schedule and having to be
consistent and losing our freedom. Now, this is an interesting
fear to have because if we don't put in any work,
then are we really free, because then we are just
continuing to live the life that we know deep in
(32:36):
our hearts that we don't actually want to be living,
or we're just like running away from the thing that
we know we need to be doing, and we're ultimately
not fulfilled and satisfied. If you have something on your
heart that you know you need to be sharing with people,
that you know that you need to be putting out
there in the world, but you're constantly avoiding that thing,
(32:57):
then are you really free? Because your mind is constantly
being occupied by the thing that you know you need
to do, and then you probably end up harping on
yourself being like, oh, I know I need to do
this thing. Oh I said I was going to do
this thing. Oh bubble blah blah blah blah blah. And
so if I were in this place, I would either
(33:18):
just let that thing go or I would ask myself like, Okay,
what is it really going to take for me to
show up for the thing? And also like, y'all can
create your business and however the fuck you want. If
you don't want to work a nine to five schedule,
you don't have to, but then come up with hours
that you do want to work. Can you work from
(33:39):
nine to ten when your kids are off at school.
Can you work in the evenings when things are a
little bit quieter. Can you fit in an hour before
you start your work day. Do you have time on
the weekend to fit into your schedule and so carving
out hours and then also having a plan, because this
(34:00):
is another thing that happens right.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Is that people okay, oh I have my office hours?
What am I doing?
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Right? And so creating a plan and I can help
you with this if you would like support with this,
just DM me and we can book a strategy called together,
Send me a DM now before you forget. But creating
a plan for what you're actually going to focus on,
so that you have something that gives you that structure
to flow within. So I always talk about masculine and
(34:27):
feminine energy as a river and the rocks. So your
feminine energy is the river, and it's flowing freely. It
is beautiful, it is sparkling, it is fresh, it is
just ugh so delicious. But if we don't have the
river bend or the rocks to contain the river, then
we have no river. It's going to be like a flood.
(34:47):
Your feminine energy is going to be all over the place.
So I understand that we live in a society that
is so feeling just there's so much going on all
the time. And also so is it of service to
you and to your future business or your business whatever
level you're at.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
Is it of.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
Service to you to be spreading yourself thin and to
be committing to all of these different things? And if
it is, then that's great. But if not, then what
do you need to do to be able to carve
out time for you? I actually just had a conversation
today with somebody who is thinking of hiring a BA,
(35:29):
and we're going to hop on a call so I
can help her kind of strategize next steps, and like,
just get over that hump of oh, because the first
time you hire someone is scary, right, And I get that,
I've been there. I've been there a couple times, But
what was I going to say? Right? So her one
of her obstacles is I'm just so busy. I'm too
busy to hire somebody. And I was like, and also
(35:53):
that busyness is never going to stop. If you don't
carve out the time for the shit that is important
to you, then you are never going to have the
time to do that thing because your calendar just constantly
gets filled with other things. So understanding what your priorities are,
what your focus is, and you don't have to do
(36:14):
everything all at once. Pick a couple of things, one
to two or three things to focus on and put
your time and energy there and continue to plant that
seating and grow and evolve. Another block that can come
up is worthiness, like am I going to give my
clients the results that they want? That's a really big
one as well. What if people can't afford to pay me?
(36:37):
And all of these other things that come up when
we need to do something take that next step in
our business. So if you are someone that you know
that you have to do something, you know you have
to launch a product or program, but you've got to
put a freebee out there.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
You know that.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
I don't know, maybe you've got to raise your raids,
but you're just avoiding, like other things are showing up,
other things are distracting you. You create reasons, you feel tired,
You just can't seem to show up for the thing
that you know you have to do. Then I'm going
to say that there's probably some sort of block there,
and my own Your Intuition Workshop can help you to
(37:18):
start to see what blocks are coming up for you
because we don't just focus on owning your intuition, we
also focus on what is preventing you from hearing your
intuition and what is getting in your way from moving forward.
A lot of that work is mindset, and you will
get a workbook with journaling prompts to support you with
self reflection and navigating that process. So if you are
(37:43):
noticing that you are avoiding or that you just aren't
really taking the steps forward that you need, then definitely
get in on the Own your Intuition workshop. And if
you are ready to take a deeper look at what
is holding you back from creating success your way, whether
that's in a career or your business, then you are
(38:04):
going to want to get on the wait list for
Rise Goddess. This is a group coaching program that I created.
It is my most popular program. It is a program
that I hold really near and dear to my heart.
It is a beautiful program, and I often actually hold
myself back from launching this program because it is such
a vulnerable and pure space. It's very transformational, and there
(38:30):
can be a lot of things that come up for
us mindset wise, worthiness wise, and all of these other
fears that we have when we are doing something that
is maybe a little bit different than the mainstream and
when we are actually putting our heart out on the
line for people to see and so I just want
to say that because you're not alone in your journey,
and if I can support you in any way, please
(38:52):
let me know. But if you are ready to stop
procrastinating and really start to tune into what it is
that you need to do what you are being called
to do and learn how to use your intuition to
co create with the universe so that you can create
success your way, then get on the waitlist for Rise Goddess.
We will be launching soon. I would absolutely love to
(39:13):
support you in that space if it is the right
space for you at this time. Thank you so much
for tuning into this episode today. Remember to share this
episode with a friend or a colleague if you found
it helpful, and definitely leave me a review. I would
love to read the review out loud on my next
podcast episode and give you a shout out. I appreciate
(39:34):
any feedback that I get.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
From the podcast.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
It helps me to continue making content for you, and
it helps me to just know that this work is
a good investment of my time and energy and I
do love podcasting. So if you appreciated this episode, don't
hesitate to reach out. I would absolutely love to receive
your feedback.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
I love you.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
I hope you have an amazing day and we'll chat soon.
Thank you so much for tuning into the podcast today.
If you like what you heard, I would love it
if you left a review. If you like my vibe,
come and hang with me in my Facebook or Telegram group.
I'll drop the link to my email list below, or
you can get instant access. Make sure you check the
show notes for any other links that I mentioned today,
(40:18):
and until next time, I'm sending you waves of abundance.
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