December 4, 2024 • 30 mins
In this episode, Lauren dives deep into the two types of imposter syndrome that spiritual entrepreneurs often face: lack of experience and mindset struggles rooted in self-worth. Whether you’re just starting out or you're a seasoned coach or healer feeling stuck, this episode is packed with actionable insights to help you reclaim your confidence.
What You’ll Hear in This Episode:
Learn how to hack your mind, connect with your intuition and create the results you want in my FREE Awaken the Goddess Within Masterclass: https://coachlaurenashley.com/goddess-within-live-series/
Connect with Lauren on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachlaurenashley
What You’ll Hear in This Episode:
- Understanding imposter syndrome and how it impacts spiritual entrepreneurs.
- The difference between lack of experience and self-worth challenges.
- Why personal struggles don’t disqualify you from helping others.
- Practical tips to build confidence and overcome imposter syndrome.
- The importance of feedback, support systems, and focusing on your unique gifts.
- How to align with your purpose and show up powerfully in your business.
Learn how to hack your mind, connect with your intuition and create the results you want in my FREE Awaken the Goddess Within Masterclass: https://coachlaurenashley.com/goddess-within-live-series/
Connect with Lauren on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachlaurenashley
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Imposter syndrome. According to very Well Mind, it's an uncomfortable
feeling that you experience when you think you're unqualified and incompetent.
You might look around and assume everyone knows what they're
doing except for you. If you achieve something good, you'll
chalk up your accomplishments to good luck. Welcome to the
(00:24):
Aligned and Magnetic Podcast. I'm your host, Laura Ashley, Intuitive
business coach, certified by the International Coaching Federation, and they
call me the Money, Mindset and Manifestation Queen. I take
a spiritual and practical approach that's backed by neuroscience to
help you make your vision a reality, but more importantly,
(00:45):
doing it in a way that lights you the fuck up.
If you're ready to create an aligned, magnetic and profitable
business so you can live a life and do the
work you are absolutely in love with, you're in the
right place. Get ready to hear the powerful questions and
raw lessons that you need to create success your way.
Thank you so much for being here. Let's dive in
(01:09):
I love. Welcome back to the Aligned to Magnetic Podcast.
Today we're recording in our house swap living room, and
when I say we, I mean me. I'm here by
myself with my doggie te Spath. I wanted to change
it up a little bit today. This is actually, I
think the only solo cast that I'm going to be
(01:31):
doing from this apartment. We are leaving in like a
couple weeks, and I mean, I don't know, let's see
if we film another episode before we go. But I
actually pre recorded a bunch of episodes when I was
still living in Mexico, so that you know, the launch
of I always like to predo things so the launch
(01:52):
of season two wouldn't be so crazy and like last minute,
like I was doing it last year. So that's a
little update on my end. In a couple of weeks,
we were actually going to be moving. Actually, by the
time this episode airs, we will already be in welland
if not welland we might actually be back in Montreal.
(02:12):
But we're essentially essentially, since when is that a word, essentially,
just taking about forty five days to just go and
hang out at my dad's place because we are signing
a lease in Montreal for a year, but not until
April fifteenth, so we needed somewhere to go in between.
And we were like, okay, well we could rent an
(02:33):
airbnb for like three grand, or like a really crappy
airbnb for like fifteen hundred dollars, or we could just
go kick it with my family for a while and
then come back. So that's what we're doing. Okay, So
today I want to talk about imposter syndrome and what
to do, Hi, what to do when you feel like
(02:55):
a fraud in your industry. So, first of all, I
just want a process by saying, this is a really
common feeling. I've had so many conversations with my clients
about imposter syndrome. I've gone through imposter syndrome myself, and
I just want you to know that this is a
normal part of entrepreneurship, especially when you're just getting started. Now,
(03:16):
I want to kind of help you through this. Of course,
that's the whole purpose of this episode. So we're going
to talk a little bit more about how I conceptualize
imposter syndrome and how I've kind of been able to
categorize it into two problems that we can solve depending
on which category we fit into. I'm going to get
into more of that in just a second, but let's
(03:38):
start by identifying what is imposter syndrome. So imposter syndrome
according to very well mind I just pulled it up
on Google. It's an uncomfortable feeling that you experience when
you think you're unqualified and incompetent. You might look around
and assume everyone knows what they're doing except for you,
(03:58):
and if you don't achieve, or if you achieve something good,
you'll chalk up your accomplishments to good luck. So let's
talk about this because I think that there are two
very different kind of ways that we can fit into
imposter syndrome, and two very different reasons we feel imposter syndrome,
and we're going to get down to like what reason
(04:19):
it is and what you can do about it. Now,
before even getting into that, let's highlight, like why is
it important to deal with imposter syndrome? People who feel
imposter syndrome, at least in my experience in my business,
are more likely to hold themselves back from really showing up,
especially if you are heart centered, especially if you care
about helping other people. I know there are a lot
(04:40):
of people in the business world who can fake it
till they make it. They don't care about, you know,
other people, as long as they reach success. I know
that's not you, and that's why we are talking about
this today. If it were you, you wouldn't be here now.
Because I am a firm believer that you deserve to
be making money in a way that really lights you up.
(05:02):
You deserve to get paid to do work that you
absolutely love. We really need to get to the root
of imposter syndrome and help you identify a solution so
that you can move beyond this. Otherwise, you're probably just
gonna find yourself sitting stuck in the same cycles over
and over again and just hiding out. And you might
experience moments where you're like out there and like, oh
(05:23):
my god, I got this, I can do this, and
then you kind of just rab it hole yourself back
in your cocoon and you're like, yeah, no, I don't
got this. So let's talk about this. Let's get you
through imposter syndrome. So again, imposter syndrome is so common,
especially when you're just starting your business. A lot of
people don't know what the fuck they're doing. They're just
trying to learn marketing, trying to learn how to run
(05:45):
a proper business, trying to learn how to show up
on social media and sell it's normal. Let's just normalize
the fact that everybody goes through imposter syndrome and you
are not the only one going through this. Okay, Now,
some examples of imposter syndrome that I've seen, our examples
like business coaches struggling with business relationship, coaches struggling with
(06:06):
their relationship, money coaches struggling with money, marketing coaches struggling
with marketing. Maybe even healers or astrologers that are struggling
in their own personal life to make it through hard times,
hard challenging times. So if you're feeling imposter syndrome, you're
gonna probably fit into one of two categories. The first
(06:29):
category is that you are claiming to be able to
help somebody with a particular thing, but you actually have
very little evidence for yourself or experience to back up
these claims. So this is probably for newer entrepreneurs. And now,
what can tend to happen and I'll go into this
in a moment, but what can tend to happen is,
(06:52):
you know, we're looking outside of ourselves for solutions or
for what other people are doing, because we just you know,
we have no idea how to run a business. So
we are looking for examples of what to do and
how we can do it right. And so what can
happen is we might accidentally use a title, or use
words or construct a program that we don't actually have
(07:13):
enough evidence to say that we can help somebody with
that thing. I'm going to dive into this in a
little bit more detail in a second. But the second
category is that you have the experience and the expertise,
you have the training, but you find yourself in a
place where you're struggling with the very thing that you
actually help your clients with, therefore making you feel like
(07:35):
a fraud, making you feel like, oh my god, is
what I talk about even a real thing? Right? Or
am I just like making this whole thing up? So
whatever category you find yourself in, I have a solution,
So don't worry. I take a deep breath. We're going
to talk about it. The first category remembers the category
that you're claiming to be able to help somebody with something,
a specific end goal, a specific end result. Let's say
(07:58):
maybe you help people to de clutter and to organize
their home, but your home is an absolute disaster. The
problem with this category is that you have very little
evidence to support your confidence. You don't have enough experience
maybe in that area to say that you can confidently
help people. Now I know what this is like. I
have been here when I was health coaching. I felt
(08:20):
like I had to come up with some like actionable
thing that I did to help people, but I didn't
have any experience yet. So I'm going to give you
a solution that you can actually work with, because I
would do it very differently now looking back, but I
didn't know at the time that this is what I was,
you know, struggling with, and I ended up kind of
(08:41):
just going in circles for a while. Hey, Love, I
hope you're enjoying this week's episode so far. I need
to stop and let you know about the Awakened the
Goddess Within Free masterclass. This is honestly a masterclass that
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(09:03):
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this is the master class for you. Basically, what we're
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(09:24):
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(09:45):
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(10:08):
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I am not kidding when I tell you I literally
recently re listened to it and it helped me see
you in there. The problem with this category here is
that we live in a very fast paced society. We
live in a world where we want something now, we
want it yesterday, and we want to get from A
to Z like as fast as possible. And I think
(10:30):
that a lot of people have actually disconnected from what
it takes to really master something, what it takes to
actually become very good at something. Right, we expect a
very high pay or amazing like all the things without
having to work to get there. And so there's definitely
a balance to be had. We need to have the training,
(10:54):
have the experience in order to feel confident in ourselves now.
It's interesting because I also believe that we put a
lot of our own blockages up when it comes to money,
like when we start asking for money for the thing
that we're helping people with. And I mean rightfully so,
(11:14):
because you're a heart centered entrepreneur, because you care about
other people. I know that you don't feel like you're
in integrity when you just go out and start charging people,
let's say, four hundred dollars for a coaching session, when
you don't feel like you are confident coaching right now.
That's why we have to work a little bit backwards here.
If you are new in your industry, and you are
(11:35):
just trying to move through the business motions if you've
like purchased one of those businesses in a box where
you're like, okay, I need to define my iyehelp statement,
I help people blah blah blah. What I would encourage
you to do is a little bit more not necessarily
market research, although you could do market research. Would What
I would actually encourage you to do is get out
(11:56):
in your field and get confidence. Right. So what ended
up happening for me is I was not really sure
about the results that I gave to people for a
really long time, and I was claiming like, hey, I
can help you with this transformation. I didn't end up
selling anything because I wasn't behind those results. I couldn't
(12:17):
get behind the results. So what happens is when we
don't believe that we can actually do something for somebody,
when we don't believe that we can actually follow through
on a result, we're actually going to end up energetically
blocking ourselves from even making this sale. Right, So, in
a sense, you're kind of like protecting yourself from like
massively fucking up. But we don't want to hold you
(12:38):
back forever, So let's actually work on this. Let's get
you some confidence. Let's get you experience and testimonials that
you can actually show people and be like, hey, this
is what I do. Would you like to also do this?
Or can I help you achieve the same or similar
results in your life, business, whatever it is? Right, I
see a lot of people in Partainler moving into new
(13:03):
industries with tools without having actually helped anybody with that thing.
Do you know what I mean? So, like I said,
if you want to move into a new field, if
you want to move into a new industry, go out
and actually test your skills, test what you have to offer,
test your services, see for yourself what it is that
(13:25):
you offer people, what it is that you provide, so
that you actually have some evidence to back up your claims,
and you're going to feel so much more confident in yourself.
And when you go to explain what it is that
you do to people, you're actually going to know exactly
what it is that you do. Just to offer an
analogy to put this into like concrete terms, I personally,
(13:49):
if I were like to go to the hospital tomorrow
and I needed a surgery, I wouldn't want someone who's
fresh out of med school to perform that surgery without
any supervision, and right, there's a reason. And obviously we're
not doing brain surgery, we're not doing major surgeries, but
there is a reason that people need to go through
a lot of training and experience before they're actually qualified
(14:12):
if you will, to do bigger things. And so this
is especially true for the coaching and healing industry. We
can't just go out there and be like, oh, I'm
a coach. I don't know anything about how to coach.
I've never coached anyone before. I don't have any training
or any skills to back me up, and I haven't
worked with any clients. I'm telling you this from my
own experience. I feel like this is pretty much what
(14:34):
I did because I wanted to help people, and I
was told while the coaching industry is not regulated, so
therefore go be a coach. But it was very much
against in my integrity, and the reason that I did
this is because I didn't trust in myself enough at
that time. I wasn't connected to my own intuition and
my values at that time. So at the time when
(14:57):
I was just first starting my business, I was like,
I'm just going to do whatever it takes to get
out there. Okay, I have to get a little bit
uncomfortable and call myself a coach, even though I don't
feel confident as a coach. All right, let's do it.
Let's see where it goes. It didn't get me anywhere.
So the only way to build confidence is to practice
and to get feedback on your practice. Right. There's a
reason that workplaces have performance evaluations. There's a reason that
(15:20):
in professional industries we get feedback, we get reports on
how we're doing right, and so we need to do
the same with our clients. When you're running a business,
there's a little bit more free reiin nobody's on top
of you being like, hey, did you get a performance
evaluation this week? So, as the entrepreneur, as the person
who is providing a service, as the coach, healer, service
(15:42):
service provider, nutritionists like VA, whatever it is that you're doing,
always ask for feedback and how you can do better.
What did you do well and how can you do better? Again.
If you are falling into category one and you feel
an imposter syndrome feeling because you don't have enough expl experience,
your task is to go out there and get experience.
(16:03):
Whether that's offering up one on one calls, whether it's
offering a small package for free or very low rate,
whatever it is to get you confident in your skills
and practicing, that is seriously going to help you to
lift off once you have that experience. Now, the thing
(16:23):
with heart centered entrepreneurs like you and me is that
typically what imposter syndrome is all about is more of
a mindset and self worth issue rather than a I'm
not qualified issue. Let me elaborate. So a lot of
my clients who are also heart centered entrepreneurs come to
(16:44):
me and we work on this program and this offering
that they can do right. But then they feel, you know,
they start to do that and it's like, okay, not
seeing results yet, because it takes time to see results
in business. It takes time. It takes reflecting, it takes testing,
and contrary to what you're seeing on the internet, it
(17:05):
does not take one or two years to build a
successful business. It can take so much longer than that.
Once my clients start to see that they're not seeing
the results that they thought they would get because of
some misinformation that they run on the internet that oh,
I have this six figure business and I built it
all in one month. Then they start to think like, oh,
maybe this is a me issue. Maybe I'm not qualified enough. Right,
(17:28):
So it's a self worth issue that's manifesting into the
way of like I need more certifications, I need more credentials,
I need more letters behind my name, I need more training.
And the other thing too that happens is often we
look at other people who are successful, and because we
are not in a place of success yet, we think
(17:51):
that we have to add whatever tool or skill other
people seem to be using to our product suite or
two our services in order to be deemed worthy of
having a successful business. So there's a lot of self
worth that's tied up in here. So this category is
(18:14):
more for the people who are like, Okay, I am,
let's say, a relationship coach, but I'm struggling in my relationship,
so how could I possibly help other people in their relationship? Right?
Or I'm a business coach but my business is currently
going through a hard time. How can I possibly be
calling myself a business coach? Now here's the thing that
(18:37):
I want you to think about. Okay, just think about this.
Think about a surgeon who needs surgery, a surgeon who
needs surgery is probably not going to get surgery from
themselves on themselves. Theyre going to go see another surgeon.
Why because you can't perform surgery on yourself right. A
(18:59):
lawyer who is going through a divorce is probably going
to hire a divorce lawyer, even though they are well
versed in law, to help them through that challenging time.
A therapist, a therapist who has a ton of knowledge
on how to help people they're going through grief. Let's say,
(19:21):
they're probably going to go seek support in a help
healing group or from another therapist. Why is that right?
Because we cannot possibly, first of all, do it all
on our own, be perfect and have all of the
answers for ourselves. And not just that, I mean, I
do believe we have all the answers for ourselves, But
(19:42):
I also believe in support. I believe that we all
need support. We can't possibly be expected to know everything
and to be able to help ourselves through everything. I
think this is a society problem that you know, living
and growing up in Western culture, it's very in It's
very much about like me, and I'll figure it out
(20:04):
and I'll do it, and I'll take on all the pressure,
but the reality is that in order to succeed, we
really need to be there for other people. We also
need to get comfortable with asking for help. So what
I really want you to take away from this category,
if you're falling into the second category, where you do
have certifications, you do have training, it's just that your
(20:24):
mindset is kind of making you feel not enough or
that you are not worthy, or that you need more
than what you already have within what I really want
you to take away is that, like you are allowed
to struggle with business or with even the field that
you are in, Like if you are in money mindset,
(20:45):
for example, and you're struggling with money, like it is
okay for human beings to go through challenges in life
and still show up and still know that we can
help other people. Right, you can go through challenges in
your business and still be able to help other people.
The key here is really knowing for you, Like if
(21:08):
you can actually look at your business and see what's
going on, like see what the problem is, then you
are way ahead. And I think that that's what differentiate
person one in category one versus person two in category two, right,
is that the person in Category two is going to
be able to look at what's happening and actually understand
(21:30):
what's going on. They're not going to get swept up
in like the oh my God, like everything is an
illusion and I have no idea how to fix this
and blah blah blah blah blah. And there's a high
chance that if you are struggling in the field that
you are in. For example, you know, when I went
through my divorce, I massively started struggling in my business
(21:52):
because I just could not show up to the level
that I had been showing up, right, And I started
to think that like, oh, maybe like I'm not meant
for this, maybe I don't know anything about business. But
the reality was that, like I was actually just going
through a really hard time and I was really hard
on myself because I wasn't able to sustain the level
(22:12):
of results that I had previously achieved because the amount
of time that I put in before, I was not
able to show up for that amount of time during
that period. Right, And so we really need to be
able to kind of step away from our situation and evaluate,
like am I qualified? Do I have confidence? Not confidence?
Do I have expertise? Do I have experience, do I
(22:35):
have testimonials and really look at Okay, like, what is
causing me to feel this imposter syndrome? Right? Is it
that I'm just going through a challenging time. Can I
give myself grace? Can I reach out for support? Or
do I maybe need to relook at how I'm positioning
myself in my business and what I'm claiming to help
(22:56):
people with. Does that make sense now? I want to
highlight the fact that it's very common in high achievers
to feel like they have to be at the top
before they actually see any sort of success, which is
so backward. Right, when you're building a business, you're on
an entrepreneurial journey, the steps you take are backward to
what you would traditionally see and like climbing the corporate ladder,
(23:19):
for example, Like we don't just you know, get qualifications
and get better and get better in our salary goes up,
in our salary goes up, and then we're great and
we're deserving of a higher salary. Right, It's different because
it's completely backward in the sense that you have to
kind of leap a little bit first. You have to
put yourself out there first before you can truly know
(23:40):
and also gain experience and also be successful. You have
to start having paying clients before you can actually have
a successful business, you know what I mean. But people
are kind of, at least in my world, heart centered
entrepreneurs and overachievers. They think that they have to have
a six figure business before they can be deemed worthy
of calling themselves like a health coach for example. Right,
(24:02):
And this is just not true. So if you find
yourself in category two where you're kind of just struggling
with imposter syndrome because you're going through a difficult time
or your maybe your business is not where you want
it to be yet, but you do have expertise in something,
I want you to focus less on where your business
is at and more so focus on what you are
(24:22):
here to help people with, Like what are your skills,
what can you offer people? And what does that transformation
look like? And literally just go out there and focus
on that service. Forget about the additional qualifications, forget about
all of the other things that your mind is tricking
you into thinking you need to have to be successful.
I want you to go and really just hone in
(24:44):
on that product, hone in on that service, hone in
on your offering and start testing that right, start working
with people, start communicating with people, and get the feedback. Now,
if you've already done that step, then I want you
to go back and look at all of that, right.
I think so often this happens to me anyway, but
we can and it happens to my clients. We get
(25:05):
stuck in our heads. We get stuck in our heads
thinking maybe even forgetting how far we've come, forgetting all
the work that we've done, forgetting that we've actually tracked
information somewhere. And what happens when we get stuck in
our heads is we kind of just start spiraling. So
I need you to go back to the evidence that
you have. Go back to where it's written down, like
what the results are that you've helped someone achieve, Where
(25:27):
you have client testimonials, where you have your case studies
written down. Maybe even go back and listen to a
recording of you providing that service. If you do that,
so that you can remember how good you really are.
Because our minds, when we're in a mindset funk will
try to trick us into thinking that we are not qualified,
but you are. So I want to also mention that
(25:48):
when you're on an entrepreneurial journey, the only way that
you're going to gain confidence, and the only way you're
going to know if something truly work is by testing it,
and is by jumping before you have proof. Right now,
if you are not comfortable charging people yet for the
service that you're offering, you don't have to, but get
that proof that helps you to really prove that your
(26:09):
product is something that people want, and then you can
play with pricing and with testing all of the other things.
Right Overall, though, trust yourself, you can't fuck it up.
You're probably gonna make mistakes down the line, but be
okay with making mistakes. The entrepreneurial journey is all about
making mistakes, failing, and then integrating what you've learned into
(26:33):
your next business move. Nobody has the answer for you.
The only thing that you can do as an entrepreneurs
learned from others and maybe learn some strategies, But I
think the most helpful thing is to really lean into
that confidence and self trust because I believe that we
all have intuitive nudges that are kind of not kind
of they are they're guiding our strategies, They're guiding what
(26:55):
it is that we want to do. So we often
discredit them or kind of brush them off because we
don't feel like the expert of our business yet. Right,
So remember that no business coach, no business guru, no
business expert, not even me can tell you how to
run the perfect, most successful business. You are the expert
of your business and whatever you feel called to do
(27:17):
is what's going to lead you to success. So in conclusion,
I want to remind you that it is normal to struggle,
It is normal to go through human experiences, and just
because you're an entrepreneur and that you know some things,
you have some sort of expertise, does not make you
immune to going through those human experiences, and it is
(27:37):
okay to accept and honor that. Right, maybe that's going
to impact your business. Maybe that's going to impact your
profits for a year. Maybe you'll see a dip, maybe not.
Maybe you're going to have your business set up so
that you don't see dips when you do take time off.
But I really just want to give you permission to
trust in yourself and to trust in the skills that
(27:57):
you have develop and to really step into to your worthiness.
Don't let your mind fool you and make you feel
smaller than you really are, because you are awesome. I
know that you are here to serve and help people,
and I know that you also deserve to get paid
for doing work that you absolutely love to do. And
the last thing is that everybody needs support, even I
(28:17):
need support. Okay, So if you are going through a
challenging time, whether that's in your business or your personal life,
please reach out to somebody. Please ask for help, whether
that's with a coach, a therapist, group support like accountability partner,
a friend, a close friend, whatever it is, but get
the support that you need to help you move through
(28:38):
those challenging times and make it out on the other side.
And remember that it takes ten thousand hours to master
a skill, and if you wait until you've mastered this skill,
you're probably going to be dead. So don't be afraid
to put yourself out there and start practicing. Practicing is
how you're going to learn. Practicing is going as how
you're going to fine tune your skills and not just
(29:00):
find you in your skills, but also gain new insight
that you can integrate into your business and what you're
teaching people. And practicing is how you're going to gain confidence,
and I want to just leave you with this affirmation,
and it is I know enough to be paid for
my skills and experience and to help my clients with
what they're struggling with. Okay, so repeat that I know
(29:24):
enough to be paid for my skills and experience and
to help my clients with what they're struggling with. So
next time you feel like you need another certification or
whatever title behind your name, come back and listen to
this episode and just remember that you do already have
a lot to offer and that you can start offering
(29:48):
those skills right away. It does not take additional qualifications
to make money in your business. It really just takes
getting out there and building up that confidence and practicing
your skills so that you have your own social proof
of what you're really capable of. If you liked this
episode today, please subscribe. I firmly believe that we are
(30:08):
really here on earth for a limited time and that
we get to do work that we absolutely love to
do and get paid well for it, and I would
love to help you get there as well. Thank you
so much for tuning into the podcast today. If you
like what you heard, I would love it if you
left a review. If you like my vibe, come and
hang with me in my Facebook or Telegram group. I'll
(30:30):
drop the link to my email list below, or you
can get instant access. Make sure you check the show
notes for any other links that I mentioned today, and
until next time, I'm sending you waves of abundance.
Imposter syndrome. According to very Well Mind, it's an uncomfortable
feeling that you experience when you think you're unqualified and incompetent.
You might look around and assume everyone knows what they're
doing except for you. If you achieve something good, you'll
chalk up your accomplishments to good luck. Welcome to the
(00:24):
Aligned and Magnetic Podcast. I'm your host, Laura Ashley, Intuitive
business coach, certified by the International Coaching Federation, and they
call me the Money, Mindset and Manifestation Queen. I take
a spiritual and practical approach that's backed by neuroscience to
help you make your vision a reality, but more importantly,
(00:45):
doing it in a way that lights you the fuck up.
If you're ready to create an aligned, magnetic and profitable
business so you can live a life and do the
work you are absolutely in love with, you're in the
right place. Get ready to hear the powerful questions and
raw lessons that you need to create success your way.
Thank you so much for being here. Let's dive in
(01:09):
I love. Welcome back to the Aligned to Magnetic Podcast.
Today we're recording in our house swap living room, and
when I say we, I mean me. I'm here by
myself with my doggie te Spath. I wanted to change
it up a little bit today. This is actually, I
think the only solo cast that I'm going to be
(01:31):
doing from this apartment. We are leaving in like a
couple weeks, and I mean, I don't know, let's see
if we film another episode before we go. But I
actually pre recorded a bunch of episodes when I was
still living in Mexico, so that you know, the launch
of I always like to predo things so the launch
(01:52):
of season two wouldn't be so crazy and like last minute,
like I was doing it last year. So that's a
little update on my end. In a couple of weeks,
we were actually going to be moving. Actually, by the
time this episode airs, we will already be in welland
if not welland we might actually be back in Montreal.
(02:12):
But we're essentially essentially, since when is that a word, essentially,
just taking about forty five days to just go and
hang out at my dad's place because we are signing
a lease in Montreal for a year, but not until
April fifteenth, so we needed somewhere to go in between.
And we were like, okay, well we could rent an
(02:33):
airbnb for like three grand, or like a really crappy
airbnb for like fifteen hundred dollars, or we could just
go kick it with my family for a while and
then come back. So that's what we're doing. Okay, So
today I want to talk about imposter syndrome and what
to do, Hi, what to do when you feel like
(02:55):
a fraud in your industry. So, first of all, I
just want a process by saying, this is a really
common feeling. I've had so many conversations with my clients
about imposter syndrome. I've gone through imposter syndrome myself, and
I just want you to know that this is a
normal part of entrepreneurship, especially when you're just getting started. Now,
(03:16):
I want to kind of help you through this. Of course,
that's the whole purpose of this episode. So we're going
to talk a little bit more about how I conceptualize
imposter syndrome and how I've kind of been able to
categorize it into two problems that we can solve depending
on which category we fit into. I'm going to get
into more of that in just a second, but let's
(03:38):
start by identifying what is imposter syndrome. So imposter syndrome
according to very well mind I just pulled it up
on Google. It's an uncomfortable feeling that you experience when
you think you're unqualified and incompetent. You might look around
and assume everyone knows what they're doing except for you,
(03:58):
and if you don't achieve, or if you achieve something good,
you'll chalk up your accomplishments to good luck. So let's
talk about this because I think that there are two
very different kind of ways that we can fit into
imposter syndrome, and two very different reasons we feel imposter syndrome,
and we're going to get down to like what reason
(04:19):
it is and what you can do about it. Now,
before even getting into that, let's highlight, like why is
it important to deal with imposter syndrome? People who feel
imposter syndrome, at least in my experience in my business,
are more likely to hold themselves back from really showing up,
especially if you are heart centered, especially if you care
about helping other people. I know there are a lot
(04:40):
of people in the business world who can fake it
till they make it. They don't care about, you know,
other people, as long as they reach success. I know
that's not you, and that's why we are talking about
this today. If it were you, you wouldn't be here now.
Because I am a firm believer that you deserve to
be making money in a way that really lights you up.
(05:02):
You deserve to get paid to do work that you
absolutely love. We really need to get to the root
of imposter syndrome and help you identify a solution so
that you can move beyond this. Otherwise, you're probably just
gonna find yourself sitting stuck in the same cycles over
and over again and just hiding out. And you might
experience moments where you're like out there and like, oh
(05:23):
my god, I got this, I can do this, and
then you kind of just rab it hole yourself back
in your cocoon and you're like, yeah, no, I don't
got this. So let's talk about this. Let's get you
through imposter syndrome. So again, imposter syndrome is so common,
especially when you're just starting your business. A lot of
people don't know what the fuck they're doing. They're just
trying to learn marketing, trying to learn how to run
(05:45):
a proper business, trying to learn how to show up
on social media and sell it's normal. Let's just normalize
the fact that everybody goes through imposter syndrome and you
are not the only one going through this. Okay, Now,
some examples of imposter syndrome that I've seen, our examples
like business coaches struggling with business relationship, coaches struggling with
(06:06):
their relationship, money coaches struggling with money, marketing coaches struggling
with marketing. Maybe even healers or astrologers that are struggling
in their own personal life to make it through hard times,
hard challenging times. So if you're feeling imposter syndrome, you're
gonna probably fit into one of two categories. The first
(06:29):
category is that you are claiming to be able to
help somebody with a particular thing, but you actually have
very little evidence for yourself or experience to back up
these claims. So this is probably for newer entrepreneurs. And now,
what can tend to happen and I'll go into this
in a moment, but what can tend to happen is,
(06:52):
you know, we're looking outside of ourselves for solutions or
for what other people are doing, because we just you know,
we have no idea how to run a business. So
we are looking for examples of what to do and
how we can do it right. And so what can
happen is we might accidentally use a title, or use
words or construct a program that we don't actually have
(07:13):
enough evidence to say that we can help somebody with
that thing. I'm going to dive into this in a
little bit more detail in a second. But the second
category is that you have the experience and the expertise,
you have the training, but you find yourself in a
place where you're struggling with the very thing that you
actually help your clients with, therefore making you feel like
(07:35):
a fraud, making you feel like, oh my god, is
what I talk about even a real thing? Right? Or
am I just like making this whole thing up? So
whatever category you find yourself in, I have a solution,
So don't worry. I take a deep breath. We're going
to talk about it. The first category remembers the category
that you're claiming to be able to help somebody with something,
a specific end goal, a specific end result. Let's say
(07:58):
maybe you help people to de clutter and to organize
their home, but your home is an absolute disaster. The
problem with this category is that you have very little
evidence to support your confidence. You don't have enough experience
maybe in that area to say that you can confidently
help people. Now I know what this is like. I
have been here when I was health coaching. I felt
(08:20):
like I had to come up with some like actionable
thing that I did to help people, but I didn't
have any experience yet. So I'm going to give you
a solution that you can actually work with, because I
would do it very differently now looking back, but I
didn't know at the time that this is what I was,
you know, struggling with, and I ended up kind of
(08:41):
just going in circles for a while. Hey, Love, I
hope you're enjoying this week's episode so far. I need
to stop and let you know about the Awakened the
Goddess Within Free masterclass. This is honestly a masterclass that
has helped me and has been so valuable and impact
in my client's lives. So if you are somebody that
(09:03):
knows that you have a greater vision, a greater impact
to make, and you can see that you're maybe not
showing up for that vision or you're doubting that vision,
this is the master class for you. Basically, what we're
going to be doing in this masterclass is talking about
and I'll be teaching how to reconnect with your inner goddess.
I'm going to walk you through a really beautiful meditation
(09:24):
to connect with the goddess within you. We're going to
identify the limiting beliefs that are holding you back from
taking aligned action and moving forward toward your vision. And
number three, we're going to talk about how to hack
your brain to manifest the life and business that you desire.
So if you are an entrepreneur or somebody who knows
(09:45):
that they're here to have a greater impact in the world,
whether it's through healing, coaching, whether it's even just through
your everyday work, then Awaken the Goddess Within is the
master class for you to step into the version of
you who has the life in business that she desires
with more ease and confidence. And the best part is
it's less than two hours. Get the link below to
(10:08):
register and you will get instant access to this masterclass.
I am not kidding when I tell you I literally
recently re listened to it and it helped me see
you in there. The problem with this category here is
that we live in a very fast paced society. We
live in a world where we want something now, we
want it yesterday, and we want to get from A
to Z like as fast as possible. And I think
(10:30):
that a lot of people have actually disconnected from what
it takes to really master something, what it takes to
actually become very good at something. Right, we expect a
very high pay or amazing like all the things without
having to work to get there. And so there's definitely
a balance to be had. We need to have the training,
(10:54):
have the experience in order to feel confident in ourselves now.
It's interesting because I also believe that we put a
lot of our own blockages up when it comes to money,
like when we start asking for money for the thing
that we're helping people with. And I mean rightfully so,
(11:14):
because you're a heart centered entrepreneur, because you care about
other people. I know that you don't feel like you're
in integrity when you just go out and start charging people,
let's say, four hundred dollars for a coaching session, when
you don't feel like you are confident coaching right now.
That's why we have to work a little bit backwards here.
If you are new in your industry, and you are
(11:35):
just trying to move through the business motions if you've
like purchased one of those businesses in a box where
you're like, okay, I need to define my iyehelp statement,
I help people blah blah blah. What I would encourage
you to do is a little bit more not necessarily
market research, although you could do market research. Would What
I would actually encourage you to do is get out
(11:56):
in your field and get confidence. Right. So what ended
up happening for me is I was not really sure
about the results that I gave to people for a
really long time, and I was claiming like, hey, I
can help you with this transformation. I didn't end up
selling anything because I wasn't behind those results. I couldn't
(12:17):
get behind the results. So what happens is when we
don't believe that we can actually do something for somebody,
when we don't believe that we can actually follow through
on a result, we're actually going to end up energetically
blocking ourselves from even making this sale. Right, So, in
a sense, you're kind of like protecting yourself from like
massively fucking up. But we don't want to hold you
(12:38):
back forever, So let's actually work on this. Let's get
you some confidence. Let's get you experience and testimonials that
you can actually show people and be like, hey, this
is what I do. Would you like to also do this?
Or can I help you achieve the same or similar
results in your life, business, whatever it is? Right, I
see a lot of people in Partainler moving into new
(13:03):
industries with tools without having actually helped anybody with that thing.
Do you know what I mean? So, like I said,
if you want to move into a new field, if
you want to move into a new industry, go out
and actually test your skills, test what you have to offer,
test your services, see for yourself what it is that
(13:25):
you offer people, what it is that you provide, so
that you actually have some evidence to back up your claims,
and you're going to feel so much more confident in yourself.
And when you go to explain what it is that
you do to people, you're actually going to know exactly
what it is that you do. Just to offer an
analogy to put this into like concrete terms, I personally,
(13:49):
if I were like to go to the hospital tomorrow
and I needed a surgery, I wouldn't want someone who's
fresh out of med school to perform that surgery without
any supervision, and right, there's a reason. And obviously we're
not doing brain surgery, we're not doing major surgeries, but
there is a reason that people need to go through
a lot of training and experience before they're actually qualified
(14:12):
if you will, to do bigger things. And so this
is especially true for the coaching and healing industry. We
can't just go out there and be like, oh, I'm
a coach. I don't know anything about how to coach.
I've never coached anyone before. I don't have any training
or any skills to back me up, and I haven't
worked with any clients. I'm telling you this from my
own experience. I feel like this is pretty much what
(14:34):
I did because I wanted to help people, and I
was told while the coaching industry is not regulated, so
therefore go be a coach. But it was very much
against in my integrity, and the reason that I did
this is because I didn't trust in myself enough at
that time. I wasn't connected to my own intuition and
my values at that time. So at the time when
(14:57):
I was just first starting my business, I was like,
I'm just going to do whatever it takes to get
out there. Okay, I have to get a little bit
uncomfortable and call myself a coach, even though I don't
feel confident as a coach. All right, let's do it.
Let's see where it goes. It didn't get me anywhere.
So the only way to build confidence is to practice
and to get feedback on your practice. Right. There's a
reason that workplaces have performance evaluations. There's a reason that
(15:20):
in professional industries we get feedback, we get reports on
how we're doing right, and so we need to do
the same with our clients. When you're running a business,
there's a little bit more free reiin nobody's on top
of you being like, hey, did you get a performance
evaluation this week? So, as the entrepreneur, as the person
who is providing a service, as the coach, healer, service
(15:42):
service provider, nutritionists like VA, whatever it is that you're doing,
always ask for feedback and how you can do better.
What did you do well and how can you do better? Again.
If you are falling into category one and you feel
an imposter syndrome feeling because you don't have enough expl experience,
your task is to go out there and get experience.
(16:03):
Whether that's offering up one on one calls, whether it's
offering a small package for free or very low rate,
whatever it is to get you confident in your skills
and practicing, that is seriously going to help you to
lift off once you have that experience. Now, the thing
(16:23):
with heart centered entrepreneurs like you and me is that
typically what imposter syndrome is all about is more of
a mindset and self worth issue rather than a I'm
not qualified issue. Let me elaborate. So a lot of
my clients who are also heart centered entrepreneurs come to
(16:44):
me and we work on this program and this offering
that they can do right. But then they feel, you know,
they start to do that and it's like, okay, not
seeing results yet, because it takes time to see results
in business. It takes time. It takes reflecting, it takes testing,
and contrary to what you're seeing on the internet, it
(17:05):
does not take one or two years to build a
successful business. It can take so much longer than that.
Once my clients start to see that they're not seeing
the results that they thought they would get because of
some misinformation that they run on the internet that oh,
I have this six figure business and I built it
all in one month. Then they start to think like, oh,
maybe this is a me issue. Maybe I'm not qualified enough. Right,
(17:28):
So it's a self worth issue that's manifesting into the
way of like I need more certifications, I need more credentials,
I need more letters behind my name, I need more training.
And the other thing too that happens is often we
look at other people who are successful, and because we
are not in a place of success yet, we think
(17:51):
that we have to add whatever tool or skill other
people seem to be using to our product suite or
two our services in order to be deemed worthy of
having a successful business. So there's a lot of self
worth that's tied up in here. So this category is
(18:14):
more for the people who are like, Okay, I am,
let's say, a relationship coach, but I'm struggling in my relationship,
so how could I possibly help other people in their relationship? Right?
Or I'm a business coach but my business is currently
going through a hard time. How can I possibly be
calling myself a business coach? Now here's the thing that
(18:37):
I want you to think about. Okay, just think about this.
Think about a surgeon who needs surgery, a surgeon who
needs surgery is probably not going to get surgery from
themselves on themselves. Theyre going to go see another surgeon.
Why because you can't perform surgery on yourself right. A
(18:59):
lawyer who is going through a divorce is probably going
to hire a divorce lawyer, even though they are well
versed in law, to help them through that challenging time.
A therapist, a therapist who has a ton of knowledge
on how to help people they're going through grief. Let's say,
(19:21):
they're probably going to go seek support in a help
healing group or from another therapist. Why is that right?
Because we cannot possibly, first of all, do it all
on our own, be perfect and have all of the
answers for ourselves. And not just that, I mean, I
do believe we have all the answers for ourselves, But
(19:42):
I also believe in support. I believe that we all
need support. We can't possibly be expected to know everything
and to be able to help ourselves through everything. I
think this is a society problem that you know, living
and growing up in Western culture, it's very in It's
very much about like me, and I'll figure it out
(20:04):
and I'll do it, and I'll take on all the pressure,
but the reality is that in order to succeed, we
really need to be there for other people. We also
need to get comfortable with asking for help. So what
I really want you to take away from this category,
if you're falling into the second category, where you do
have certifications, you do have training, it's just that your
(20:24):
mindset is kind of making you feel not enough or
that you are not worthy, or that you need more
than what you already have within what I really want
you to take away is that, like you are allowed
to struggle with business or with even the field that
you are in, Like if you are in money mindset,
(20:45):
for example, and you're struggling with money, like it is
okay for human beings to go through challenges in life
and still show up and still know that we can
help other people. Right, you can go through challenges in
your business and still be able to help other people.
The key here is really knowing for you, Like if
(21:08):
you can actually look at your business and see what's
going on, like see what the problem is, then you
are way ahead. And I think that that's what differentiate
person one in category one versus person two in category two, right,
is that the person in Category two is going to
be able to look at what's happening and actually understand
(21:30):
what's going on. They're not going to get swept up
in like the oh my God, like everything is an
illusion and I have no idea how to fix this
and blah blah blah blah blah. And there's a high
chance that if you are struggling in the field that
you are in. For example, you know, when I went
through my divorce, I massively started struggling in my business
(21:52):
because I just could not show up to the level
that I had been showing up, right, And I started
to think that like, oh, maybe like I'm not meant
for this, maybe I don't know anything about business. But
the reality was that, like I was actually just going
through a really hard time and I was really hard
on myself because I wasn't able to sustain the level
(22:12):
of results that I had previously achieved because the amount
of time that I put in before, I was not
able to show up for that amount of time during
that period. Right, And so we really need to be
able to kind of step away from our situation and evaluate,
like am I qualified? Do I have confidence? Not confidence?
Do I have expertise? Do I have experience, do I
(22:35):
have testimonials and really look at Okay, like, what is
causing me to feel this imposter syndrome? Right? Is it
that I'm just going through a challenging time. Can I
give myself grace? Can I reach out for support? Or
do I maybe need to relook at how I'm positioning
myself in my business and what I'm claiming to help
(22:56):
people with. Does that make sense now? I want to
highlight the fact that it's very common in high achievers
to feel like they have to be at the top
before they actually see any sort of success, which is
so backward. Right, when you're building a business, you're on
an entrepreneurial journey, the steps you take are backward to
what you would traditionally see and like climbing the corporate ladder,
(23:19):
for example, Like we don't just you know, get qualifications
and get better and get better in our salary goes up,
in our salary goes up, and then we're great and
we're deserving of a higher salary. Right, It's different because
it's completely backward in the sense that you have to
kind of leap a little bit first. You have to
put yourself out there first before you can truly know
(23:40):
and also gain experience and also be successful. You have
to start having paying clients before you can actually have
a successful business, you know what I mean. But people
are kind of, at least in my world, heart centered
entrepreneurs and overachievers. They think that they have to have
a six figure business before they can be deemed worthy
of calling themselves like a health coach for example. Right,
(24:02):
And this is just not true. So if you find
yourself in category two where you're kind of just struggling
with imposter syndrome because you're going through a difficult time
or your maybe your business is not where you want
it to be yet, but you do have expertise in something,
I want you to focus less on where your business
is at and more so focus on what you are
(24:22):
here to help people with, Like what are your skills,
what can you offer people? And what does that transformation
look like? And literally just go out there and focus
on that service. Forget about the additional qualifications, forget about
all of the other things that your mind is tricking
you into thinking you need to have to be successful.
I want you to go and really just hone in
(24:44):
on that product, hone in on that service, hone in
on your offering and start testing that right, start working
with people, start communicating with people, and get the feedback. Now,
if you've already done that step, then I want you
to go back and look at all of that, right.
I think so often this happens to me anyway, but
we can and it happens to my clients. We get
(25:05):
stuck in our heads. We get stuck in our heads
thinking maybe even forgetting how far we've come, forgetting all
the work that we've done, forgetting that we've actually tracked
information somewhere. And what happens when we get stuck in
our heads is we kind of just start spiraling. So
I need you to go back to the evidence that
you have. Go back to where it's written down, like
what the results are that you've helped someone achieve, Where
(25:27):
you have client testimonials, where you have your case studies
written down. Maybe even go back and listen to a
recording of you providing that service. If you do that,
so that you can remember how good you really are.
Because our minds, when we're in a mindset funk will
try to trick us into thinking that we are not qualified,
but you are. So I want to also mention that
(25:48):
when you're on an entrepreneurial journey, the only way that
you're going to gain confidence, and the only way you're
going to know if something truly work is by testing it,
and is by jumping before you have proof. Right now,
if you are not comfortable charging people yet for the
service that you're offering, you don't have to, but get
that proof that helps you to really prove that your
(26:09):
product is something that people want, and then you can
play with pricing and with testing all of the other things.
Right Overall, though, trust yourself, you can't fuck it up.
You're probably gonna make mistakes down the line, but be
okay with making mistakes. The entrepreneurial journey is all about
making mistakes, failing, and then integrating what you've learned into
(26:33):
your next business move. Nobody has the answer for you.
The only thing that you can do as an entrepreneurs
learned from others and maybe learn some strategies, But I
think the most helpful thing is to really lean into
that confidence and self trust because I believe that we
all have intuitive nudges that are kind of not kind
of they are they're guiding our strategies, They're guiding what
(26:55):
it is that we want to do. So we often
discredit them or kind of brush them off because we
don't feel like the expert of our business yet. Right,
So remember that no business coach, no business guru, no
business expert, not even me can tell you how to
run the perfect, most successful business. You are the expert
of your business and whatever you feel called to do
(27:17):
is what's going to lead you to success. So in conclusion,
I want to remind you that it is normal to struggle,
It is normal to go through human experiences, and just
because you're an entrepreneur and that you know some things,
you have some sort of expertise, does not make you
immune to going through those human experiences, and it is
(27:37):
okay to accept and honor that. Right, maybe that's going
to impact your business. Maybe that's going to impact your
profits for a year. Maybe you'll see a dip, maybe not.
Maybe you're going to have your business set up so
that you don't see dips when you do take time off.
But I really just want to give you permission to
trust in yourself and to trust in the skills that
(27:57):
you have develop and to really step into to your worthiness.
Don't let your mind fool you and make you feel
smaller than you really are, because you are awesome. I
know that you are here to serve and help people,
and I know that you also deserve to get paid
for doing work that you absolutely love to do. And
the last thing is that everybody needs support, even I
(28:17):
need support. Okay, So if you are going through a
challenging time, whether that's in your business or your personal life,
please reach out to somebody. Please ask for help, whether
that's with a coach, a therapist, group support like accountability partner,
a friend, a close friend, whatever it is, but get
the support that you need to help you move through
(28:38):
those challenging times and make it out on the other side.
And remember that it takes ten thousand hours to master
a skill, and if you wait until you've mastered this skill,
you're probably going to be dead. So don't be afraid
to put yourself out there and start practicing. Practicing is
how you're going to learn. Practicing is going as how
you're going to fine tune your skills and not just
(29:00):
find you in your skills, but also gain new insight
that you can integrate into your business and what you're
teaching people. And practicing is how you're going to gain confidence,
and I want to just leave you with this affirmation,
and it is I know enough to be paid for
my skills and experience and to help my clients with
what they're struggling with. Okay, so repeat that I know
(29:24):
enough to be paid for my skills and experience and
to help my clients with what they're struggling with. So
next time you feel like you need another certification or
whatever title behind your name, come back and listen to
this episode and just remember that you do already have
a lot to offer and that you can start offering
(29:48):
those skills right away. It does not take additional qualifications
to make money in your business. It really just takes
getting out there and building up that confidence and practicing
your skills so that you have your own social proof
of what you're really capable of. If you liked this
episode today, please subscribe. I firmly believe that we are
(30:08):
really here on earth for a limited time and that
we get to do work that we absolutely love to
do and get paid well for it, and I would
love to help you get there as well. Thank you
so much for tuning into the podcast today. If you
like what you heard, I would love it if you
left a review. If you like my vibe, come and
hang with me in my Facebook or Telegram group. I'll
(30:30):
drop the link to my email list below, or you
can get instant access. Make sure you check the show
notes for any other links that I mentioned today, and
until next time, I'm sending you waves of abundance.
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