Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Hello everyone, and welcome back to Always Ageless, where we
definitely believe that growing older just means growing bolder and
doing more exciting things in your life.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I'm your host, Valerie van is.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Over and no matter what your age is, you are
definitely in the right place. This show is your trusted
space for real conversations, for expert insights and stories that
will definitely inspire you. We're here to help you find
the right direction, the solutions, and definitely the resources to
live your best life right where you are or wherever
(00:55):
you're headed for your next place to live. Today, we're
talking about something that touches everyone's heart, home ownership and
safety in your older years. And I couldn't ask for
a better guest than America's senior home Coach Katherine Ambrose.
She's going to talk about the emotional side of moving,
(01:16):
what home ownership means for people in their older years,
whether why so many people want to stay in their
current homes, and she is definitely the epitome of the
Americans home coach. She runs television shows, she has workshops
in her community, she mentors other agents. She's about to
be a grandma, and she brings passion and practical wisdom
(01:39):
to the table. So roll up your windows, grab a
cup of tea, let's dive right in and welcome Katherine
at Always eight.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
So thank you so much, Valerie. I'm so excited to
be here. We're glad to have you. So this is
home Ownership Month.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Let's talk about why we're doing this, especially right now
it's National Homeownership Month. It's also National Safety Month, and
the theme for National Safety this year happens to be
safety at home. So that's a really special place for
us here, those of us who help people in their
older years to be safe and happy at home. So
let's talk about home ownership.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Is how do you.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Think that's evolved for older adults over the past few decades.
You think it has, you think it's the same.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Well, I'll tell you what. It's the American dream. And
so the people that own homes today, let's say the
oldest Americans that own homes today, it was the American
dream to buy your own home. It was also a
very important part of their retirement idea of being that
over time, you pay off your home and it helps
you fund your retirement years because you no longer have
(02:46):
a house payment. So that is really instilled deeply in
our culture. And I see a lot of older homeowners
that are still living in the home that they raised
their children in. And the challenges is that we are
aging every day, our houses are aging every day. Yet
(03:09):
the houses were built for people that never age. The
houses were built for people really to live the American dream,
get married, have a family, go to work, but not
necessarily to grow older in. And so a lot of
our property across the United States is functionally obsolescent for
(03:32):
the stage of life that people are in, and so
we have to look at how do we keep ourselves
safe in our own home. That's true.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
So when we talk about functionally obsolescent, to talk about
for our viewers and our listeners, what does that really mean?
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Well, functionally obsolescent in real estate, it was a term
we had to learn to pass our real estate license,
and for some reason, and that term stayed in my head,
and what it was supposed to mean is different than
how I use it today because today I've really latched
onto that it means that our homes are not oftentimes
(04:12):
really set up for the stage of life that we're in.
By the time when we turn fifty years of age,
we need approximately fifty percent more light than we needed
in our younger years, and so that the lighting might
not be appropriate for aging eyes. By the way, the
National Aging and Place Council and a number of university studies,
there's lots of statistics out there that aging in place
(04:35):
starts get this at the age of forty. So if
you're in your eighties or nineties, or your parents are,
they should feel bad and think, you know, about aging
out of their home. Because aging and place starts at forty.
That's maybe when we should start thinking a little bit
more about those nice pull down attic ladders and climbing
(04:55):
up those rickety stairs with you know, plastic tubs of
Christmas decor and things like that. It's very dangerous.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
I've been selling or a little ladder that goes down
to where the man brings the cold.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I don't know. Oh yeah, I was raised where the
man dumped the coal. So I've been in housing in
real estate my entire life, and I've always pointed out
that tremendous feature of the pull down ladder, never thinking
how dangerous it really is as we age. You know,
what if you fall off that People fall off of
those all the time, and unfortunately, I hate to bring
(05:30):
to bring it down a little bit, but can I
just be real. My husband and I has a long
time husband wife real estate team. We've sold a lot
of homes where homeowners died in the garage hitting their
head and bloodstains that when it come out of the concrete.
You know, we've sold a lot of listings, and so
of course by doing so, we've run into a lot
(05:50):
of homes where a homeowner died from hitting their head.
Lots of people die in their bedroom hitting their head
on a bedpost or the corner of the dresser. And
for a long time has even a young realter, I
was freaked out by anything that looked dangerous in the bedroom,
something you could hit your head on. And so falling
(06:11):
doesn't everyone know? You know that falling is the number
one risk as we age. And then yesterday I was
doing a story on brain function and the scientist and
the physician they are both mentioned that the second cause
of going to a hospital is dizziness and that's related
(06:31):
to the vestibular system. But just think, you know, dizziness,
maybe not having has grade of stability as we age,
not continuing to exercise and be strong losing muscle strength.
All these things can contribute to falls, and so what
can we do in our home to prevent falls? And
(06:54):
lighting is one taking up those area rugs that you love,
love love, and people are so stubborn, And people are
so stubborn and they want those rugs even when they
know they're so dangerous, And just how what can we
do to the home to modify it so we can
age well and safely and continue to live life fully
(07:16):
till our last sunset?
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Absolutely, So why do you think that people want to
stay in their homes longer?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Right now?
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Do you think that it's an emotional thing or do
you think in our case it's maybe it's more economic.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Yeah, I think it's both. I think it's mostly emotional,
and it's very fear based for obvious reasons, because people
fear losing their independence, Like it's ingrained in us to
pick our own clothing when we're a toddler, and to
want to get on that yellow school bus and eventually
borrow our parents' keys and beg for money so we
(07:53):
can be free, be independent with their car and their money.
You know, this is how we are born, and we're
born to be autonomous and be in charge of our
own life. And so that's what I'm all about, is
empowering others so that you can be in charge of
your whole life, the whole way through. And that means
(08:13):
being proactive and pragmatic and doing everything you can to
be healthy and strong and safe in your own home,
and to be thinking about home. It's not just where
you live today, that what home could be maybe somewhere else,
streaming a new dream of what home can be. That
(08:34):
I like to say that people defend their home like
it's the Alamo, And how well did that work out? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Yeah, it's interesting, funny comment. So let's well, yeah, your
home could be your castle. Also could be your burden, right,
So let's talk about the rise of aging in place?
Has that been I don't remember always hearing that term.
Is that a new term but an old old philosophy?
And what exactly is aging in place? You just mentioned
(09:04):
it's a maybe the home that you're in now, But
what if you have to move?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Can you What is aging in place? Really? What it's
supposed to mean is where can you age best? Maybe
it's the community of Orange County, not necessarily the house
you happen to live in right now, but staying in
Orange County because that's where your network is, That's where
your hairdresser is, your physicians, your friends, your church, your bank,
(09:29):
that your life is there in Orange County, California. And
so if we could think a little bit broader than
the house we happen to live in right now, and
maybe it's the community that we live in right now.
And as we go through life, we're usually always forward thinking.
Maybe we're getting excited about getting married, having a baby,
(09:51):
buying a house, buying the next house, the next house,
going to Italy, or looking forward. And at some point,
I think and fear and life review causes people to
stop looking forward and be in constant reflection and life review,
and that is very dangerous. It's very important that we
(10:16):
are always dreaming a new dream and planning something and
staying social. And to me, socialization is the most important
factor of aging. And if people isolate in their home
as they become fragile, as they go into their fragile years,
they isolate more and more. Maybe they have meals on wheels,
maybe they have family member check on them, maybe they
(10:38):
have home care and home health, and these are all
great things, but still it's very isolating, and there's a
lot of people where meals on wheels is the only
socialization that they get as an example, and that causes
brain melt. Okay, that causes cognitive decline because when we're
(10:58):
sitting all the time and we're staying in our safe place.
Tipa Snow who's the world renowned expert on dementia dementia care,
she said, when you're just in your safe place, your
brain just kind of goes like on autopilot, just in
comfort zone, and you're not stimulating yourself. And again that's
just leading to faster physical cognitive decline, better chances of falls,
(11:22):
and all of that. So I think you can modify
a house. You can put an elevator in, you can
put a chairlift in. An architect could get all excited
about all the groovy things you could put in a house.
So you're safe physically. But is anyone thinking about socially
because we are meant to be social creatures, and are
we feeding ourselves socially if we're hiding in our house.
(11:45):
It's interesting that you talk about that.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
I heard it ted talk from a lady who said
that she was sending her mom meals, and she was
making sure that something was always sent to her mom
so she would be fed and she'd have enough food,
which I always call my mom, you have food for
time night, right. But what her mom really wanted was
her to stop by, right, and you can send meals
on wheels, you can do all that stuff. What your
(12:08):
parents really want is.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Craving that love and the way they spell love. Oftentimes
our family members spell it time and it can be
frustrating because let's say mother and daughter. They're living in
different just living in different seasons of life where the
(12:32):
daughter is busy, maybe going to the gym, busy with
her career, with her dreams, her husband, her adult children,
her grandchildren, maybe even her own great grandchildren. I mean,
a really robust, light life with a lot of time pressures,
maybe her own health. Maybe she has cancer, maybe she
has other things that she's dealing with, and mom has
(12:54):
become very isolated. We're maybe making sure that mom has nutrition,
thinking that we're doing a good job as a daughter.
But if mom's very isolated, it's really craving that love
factor and that socialization. It can be frustrating because the
daughter could feel like, gee, mom has mom just keeps
talking about the same old thing all the time. And
(13:14):
what I've learned is set the reason why it seems
that way is because mom has very limited socialization and
very limited things going on in her life, and she's
giving you the best that she has, and so when
she brings up something that seems repetitive, it's because it's
all she's got to talk about. Whereas if someone were
to living senior living among cohorts that have kind of
(13:37):
the same life experience because they've lived the same history,
there's a richness that people can plug into and have
meaningful conversations, and then they become less dependent on their
adult kids and grandkids that are so busy in their lives.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
But I think that senior living also it's important that
you if you're going to put your parents or your
mom or dad in a position or they choose to
go into place like that, it's really important that you
choose one that socially matches them. And I was in
a community this week where I thought my mom would
have a really hard time here. But I've been in
(14:13):
other communities where I thought my mom would love it here.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
And there's one by.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
A university here where they met when I went on
a tour. They mentioned that they have so many retired
professors in their building that they have a club.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
For the retired professor that would be right at myradly.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Yes, yeah, yeah, so their mental stimulation is always going,
So I think that's.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Really important to consider.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
You know, we go on the tours and we how
pretty they are, and they feed us and everybody's got
great food and all those things. But really I think
it's important to match them, just as you're saying social exactly.
So a good placement professional or a senior home coach
would work with your family, usually at no costs, and
they could also hire a care manager and they make
(14:57):
charge by the hour for the same type of services.
But there are professionals out there.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
That can help your family give the best advice, so
can match better medically, financially, and socially, because let's face it,
it's not about a community that's convenient for the adult kids.
It is about what is going to be the best
lifestyle where mom can really thrive. Where can she have
(15:23):
a vibrant lifestyle that's going to keep her healthy and
happy for as long as possible so she can be
around to love on the younger generations for as long
as possible. And we also, my mom is scared to death.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
I'm going to put her in a nursing home right
because her vision of that is a place where there's
old people in the hallway and they're sitting in the corner.
No one's giving them any attention, and they have a bib,
you know. And she doesn't, of course have taken her
She's afraid that that's going to be her end place,
and instead she could be somewhere where they're doing art
(15:58):
and gardening and but.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Also senior tech as a role. Here.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
There's a program called on Screen that you put a
little camera about this size on the top of your
television and it has Ai, a girl named JOI lives
in on screen until Mom will call say to Joy, please,
I want to watch a TV show with horses, and
then Joy will connect my mom and also then we
(16:23):
can we can break into that. So I have an
app on my phone. I can go and say Mom,
how are you? And Mom can see me and I
can see her that she's safe and she's fine, and
then I can break back out again. And it's not
the same as being there, but certainly she loves knowing
that I take time for her.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
There's a lot of age now it's Joy an AI
friend or a real life friend on screen. No, no, no,
Joy is ai. So I have been hearing about more
and more AI programs. So I think there's a lot
of companies that are trying to come to the rescue
and help with these kinds of situations. Because you're right too,
it could be an economic issue too. And really hope
(17:04):
that older homeowners would make good decisions for themselves and
like I said, be proactive and pragmatic and make good
decisions for themselves. But like eighty eight percent are going
to defend their home like as Salomo and not want
to leave. And at some point it could become a
medical decision where daughter someone steps in and makes a
medical decision. And by that time you're probably talking about
(17:27):
skilled nursing, memory care, or maybe just assisted living. But
you've kind of missed the cruise ship on land opportunity
of independent living, and you may not qualify for the
continuum life care plan communities, you know, right at that
entry level where you would like to be. So it's
really complex, like all careers are, and so the you know,
(17:49):
the senior living community world is very complex, and tapping
into professionals can really make a bit different, so you
can make good choices. And I think it's really sad.
Was Candy Striper at a Catholic nursing home in the
nineteen seventies, And I have that picture that your mom
has of a nursing home where people are just in
(18:11):
a wheelchair, hunched over, And yeah, you know, I just
have these sad memories in my head. So I'm happy
that my real estate career has kind of brought me
full circle to serving seniors again. That today senior living
communities by and large are very vibrant. They're very competitive,
and they want people to be happy. That I love
seeing all these things coming onto the market to help people. Also,
(18:33):
agent plays at home if that's what they.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Choose to do, yes, And I think that it's a
hard decision to make.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
Is the where is your next place going to be?
Is it?
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Should it be assisted living? And once you leave your
home and you sell your home, that's final. Although you
can go in my mom's case where she's renting someplace
but she's still independent. She's in a kind of minium
in a fifty five plus community. But those are tough
decisions and so much more, so much more often good
english that the children are involved in this decision and
(19:11):
we have to help make those decisions for them. So
how can I think that there's almost two populations, two
groups here that need to be serviced. It's the older,
the aging parent, but it's also the people our age
who now we're more involved in helping them make their decisions.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Absolutely, and so you're a caregiver. If you are making
sure that mom gets meals, that the air conditioner servicing
gets done, that the plumber gets over there, that the
store gets fixed, that the light bulbs are changed, you
are a caregiver. Caregiving is very stressful, and caregiving can
last fifteen to twenty years. Maybe you're helping your dad
(19:54):
with caregiving and then next you're to helping mom. It
could be a fifteen to twenty span. And especially when
it's spouse is caring for each other, thirty percent of
caregivers will predecease the person they're caring for. It's very stressful.
My husband had significant heart problem April before last and
(20:19):
I know it was the stress of being a caregiver
for first his dad and also his mother, and then
his dad passed and now he and his sister both
are like extreme caregivers for her. Even though she's now
in independent living, it's just as stressful in a way
because she's calling all day long. She's got really sad
(20:41):
symptoms of dementia. You know, we're trying to keep her
in this happy, beautiful place as long as possible before
the next step of memory care, which still can be beautiful,
but we want to treade keeper, vibrant and successful and
thriving where she's at. But man, it's really hard because
people are living much longer, and we're really the first
(21:04):
generation that our caregivers for our parents for so long
because my grandmother her parents died at a young age,
and my mother her parents lived pretty decent older years,
but they died rather quickly, so there was not a
(21:25):
lot of caregiving involved. But today, with all the medications
and all the advances, people are living longer, which is
a wonderful thing. However, we've got to figure out how
to support caregivers better. And thirty percent of seniors are
solo agers. They have no children, they may have no one,
their children may live in Japan, and they're in these States,
(21:46):
and so there's a lot of reasons why people are
aging solo, and so that's a whole nother challenge.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
It is it is at Christmas that counts on aging
here as what they call smilemakers, and this year we
participated in them everything seventy five hundred blankets and sweatsuits
to people in assisted living communities or in private homes
here who had no one that comes to see them.
And that just touched the surface. There's probably twenty thousand
(22:15):
people or more who don't have anyone that comes to
visit them.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
And this is an interesting.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
I every time I'm with people our age, part of
the conversation goes to taking care of our parents.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Right. We never thought of that.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
I mean I never thought when I was this age
we wouldn't be doing other things, right, And of course
we're blessed to have our parents with us, but we
just didn't plan for this. Not only we didn't plan
for our retirement to be this way. You know, we
don't go on trips because we don't have anybody else
to take care of our mom. It's interesting. When my
(22:53):
dad was in his later, very very very later years,
I asked the doctor if I could bring dad home
for Christmas. And he said, Valerie, you're doing it just
to make yourself feel better. He said, if you bring
your dad home, you're going to end up in the
casket next to him home. And I didn't understand that.
I thought that was really a mean thing to say.
(23:16):
But now the more I've learned, and now five years later,
I realized, just as you said, that sometimes the caregivers
suffer more than the patients do.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
And we're all dealing with all of these things.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
And if we want our parents to stay at home,
or they want to stay at home, then we have
those issues as well.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Right.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
And one of the issues I saw last week, Catherine,
an article about the number of homes in the United
States where seniors live that aren't maintained properly.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Yeah, and what can we do about that? Well, that's
a tough one. And we'll run into homeowners that they
were meticulous homeowners their whole entire life, pride of ownership,
as we say, meliss State, where everything was perfect, the
lawn was perfect, the flower beds were perfect, the edging everything,
(24:08):
the siding, perfect, windows everything. And today maybe they pull
into that driveway and it's sad every time because their
home does not look up to their own standards that
they maintained all those years because they're just not able
to do it. And has people become more fragile and
(24:30):
they start staying home, they might go from go go
seniors where they're just go go go all the time,
to slow go. They start picking and choosing what they're
going to go to and then eventually no go and
depending on how they can bounce in and out of
these three areas. But as people become more slowgo and
no go, the house starts to deteriorate. And a lot
(24:54):
of times it's the adult kids are the grandkids that
are making it possible to keep that lawn mode except
and people will think I'm independent in my own home.
Well not really if you're depending on your grandson to
come over every week and do the mowing.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
And my mom says, so I'm perfectly happy. Yeah, that's
because i'm your afriga.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Yes. And so I think that there's a lot of
homeowners or you know, like your mother's renting, that think
they're independent in their own home, when in fact it's
only because they're adult children or someone it could be
a nice neighbor is making it possible. And there's a
(25:38):
point to which I think that a lot of people
where we just aren't thinking straight anymore. And I puzzle
through with a lot of older homeowners on their thought process,
and I can follow the logic that's in their brain,
when in fact it's not very logical that I understand
how they're thinking this through, and they'll think, well, I
(25:59):
have a five year plan on how they're going to
declutter and get ready to move when they really need
to be in assisted living right now, Like a good
decision would be to move next week or within two months.
I was just talking to a lady the other day
and she said two years. She and her husband aren't
(26:20):
going to be here in two years. And then she
said a year. And I'm like, she said six months,
and I said, yeah maybe she said before winter, Yeah maybe.
I mean, this is actually a real crisis. They are
falling all the time, and they're in conflict. The husband
wife are in conflict all the time because it's just
where his mind is at right now. She's got Parkinson.
(26:42):
She knows she needs to move. He doesn't want to move.
He falls all the time, No big deal, because he
can crawl across the lawn, use the chain link fence
to pull himself up. He's very proud of this. He
can fall in the house, crawl across the floor, use
furniture to pull himself up, and he says, when she falls,
she's just dead weight and we have to call nine
one one. There's a lot of people that are only
(27:04):
able to stay in their home thanks to nine one one.
Nine nine one one is their health care plan right now?
Is their home care plan. They're calling nine to one
one all the time. And that's why there are government
initiatives all over the globe talking to mayors in every
city on the planet about Aging in Place agenda because
(27:26):
there's actually not enough places for people to go to
and this is a crisis getting ready to happen. It's
not a PC term silver tsunami, but that's what we're
facing and it's going to change everything. And people talk
about the silver tsunamis coming in. It is here, it
is here here, and people there's a lot of people
(27:47):
with a lot of pain points because of it. But
I'd say most of our population isn't aware of it yet,
but they're going to be aware because our world is
going to turn upside down where people sixty five years
of age and older are going to for the first
time in his way street outnumber those that are children.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
And isn't that number coming in like twenty thirty or
so there'll be more people.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
More people over sixty five than there are under eighteen.
I think maybe by twenty thirty, So anyway, that's coming.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
It's interesting that you talk about the police and fire
because our friend Scott Fisher is working with a fireman
group who's concern is the demand on the fire departments
for senior falls.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
And if we think about it as citizens, that if
you take your and not that they aren't important, but
if you take your critical services off duty to go
help people who fell and instead there's a fire, who
(28:55):
do you choose?
Speaker 2 (28:56):
And that's very difficult.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
And the number of calls he gave a statistic Catherine
in a small city in Arizona, there's something like sixteen
thousand calls in a year or a month or something
of people who just fell. And even in assisted living
communities they call nine one one for falls and that's
(29:21):
a drain on the city's resources. And not again that
the senior citizens aren't important, they are, but what else
can we do to create some other kind of a force,
some other kind of a service that maybe isn't nine
one one, that's maybe a service that just handles come
and help people who felt I bet municipality that's another issue.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
I bet that municipalities are going to have to figure
that out because I see this being a long, ongoing challenge.
And then I wonder about do sister living communities call
on false independent living obviously can because they can't touch
people and provide medical assistance.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
They do because I asked, and I said, so, what
do you do if my mom falls?
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Well, we'll just call nine one over my goodness. Well,
and at some point you got to stop calling nine
one one. My own family made this mistake, and I'd
already been doing the senior home coach thing and interviewing
people on these topics and studying it. I have a
library of books that my husband wasn't ready to let
(30:28):
his dad go. And he said, as long as that
man is going to fight, I'm going to fight with him.
So heartbreaking, and so every time he would fall, they
would call nine one one, and my father in law,
one of the most precious men ever, would get loaded
on ambulance taken to the hospital. Well during COVID he
(30:48):
fell and the last time most of us saw him
was him being loaded onto the ambulance. He should have
been on hospice at home. He should have had home
care at home, home health at home, and hospice. That's
where he was at. But the family wasn't willing to
accept it. No one wanted to let this man go,
and he was taken to an ambulance should it never happened,
(31:12):
put in the hospital, and they would only allow one
family member to come per day for a limit of
two hours, like what happened during COVID criminal And so
the family was getting ready to take his wife to
the hospital for her two hour visit, even though all
the family was in town, and he passed away on
(31:35):
his own before she got there, and then they let
all of us come. An army of ambroses got to
go into the hospital and then no big deal, we
could stay with his dead body for hours. What happened
in our world that allowed this kind of thing to happen,
And I hope that we're all angry about it and
(31:57):
that we want to prevent that from happening ever again.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Once he passed, then it was okay to be with
him when he was there were no threats.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
We could all come in and breathe in the hospital.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
And you know, we do, and you do wonderful seminars
for people on downsizing and so forth. I'm almost as
we talk about this, Captain, I'm kind of wondering if
we shouldn't be having seminars for people like us who
are the children of aging parents, because we need our
we need lessons, we need classes.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
We don't know what to do. I had a couple
in my office this week.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
The husband is in his late eighties and his mom
is you know actually, and the wife's mom is in
her eighties, and she said, I have them both, I
don't know what to do. I gave her the one
of the books we had here for the Fragile Years,
and another book that we have here that we give out,
(32:53):
and the people are just they just don't know what
to do.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
You know, we don't know what to do. That is
my favorite book. I say it every day. Fragile Years
is my favorite book for professionals and for caregivers, for everyone,
for seniors, for the adult kids, everybody, because it's a short,
easy read and it helps you get your mind in
the game so you understand the reality of where this
(33:17):
all is going. And I would I love the idea
of workshops for adult children that are guiding aging loved ones.
But here's my pessimistic view, and I can't wait for
somebody prove me wrong. I don't think kids are coming because,
like I just said, they're busy. Oh yeah, they're stressed.
(33:37):
They're stressed, but they're also very busy just doing the
caregiving but also living their life. I don't think they're
coming to a workshop now. Seniors that are go go
and maybe even slowgo, they'll come because they're bored and
they're available during the day, and so if you can
make it entertaining and interesting, they will come. And that's
(34:00):
what we're teaching senior home coach professionals to do all
over this country, from coast to coast, from New York City,
New Jersey, Baltimore to Sea Coasts. Seniors. And then you
with your always ageless radio show, I'm so proud of
what you're doing. You've been the shining star so far
in this whole thing with your radio show. And that's
(34:23):
how you can reach people is by broadcasting and putting
those virtual clues out there, those breadcrumbs out there, so
that the adult children, when their hair is on fire
and they're hysterical, that they can find you. Because what
happens as they end up in the office of a
senior living community and finally it's hitting them and they're
hysterical and bawling and they're saying, I don't know what
(34:45):
to do, I don't know how to make all these decisions.
I'm not ready for this, and it's everything all at
once because they're not prepared, and so that's when they're
going to end how.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
To make the decisions right. Like someone I know just
had their mom and a CIS living communtee. They had
no idea about the entry fees and the other fees
and the fees if you want to have if they
need to have medication and so forth, and they just
went in straight and said, here's my mom, what do
I have to do? And they could have made better
(35:16):
decisions if they had someone like us helping them.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
Especially if someone's going to run out of money, it's
really critical that they have a plan because let's say
you're going to potentially need to go on Medicaid, you
got to do things right. And probably need to move
(35:42):
into a community where your two years self pay before
you run out of money, in hopes that they will
keep you after. Because if you're straight medicaid and you
just now are realizing that you need to go into
a Medicaid facility, and I don't like to say the
word facility. I usually say community because we call it
the f word facility because no one wants to live
(36:03):
in a facility. But let's be real, if you're going
to go to Medicaid, you're talking about usually that nursing
home that your mom doesn't want to go to unless
you know how to navigate, and you're utilizing professionals that
can help you move into the one or two nicer
places that you have to have a plan and you
need a runway for it, right.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
But it's important because all places are not equal. Every
assets a living community, every memory care community, every board
and care home is not the same. Some of them
don't even have to have the kind of licenses that
we would want, and some people don't even know how
to check their credentials or.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
Their reviews on a state basis.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
So let's talk about because I want to have time
to do this and this is really important to me.
Let's talk about you and what brought you to where
you are now, because we talk about all this knowledge
you have and your heart for serving seniors, but also
your heart for helping other people like us serve seniors.
(37:12):
So how did this all start? You were a candy striper.
I was a candy striper, so I know that part.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
But where did this? Where did your journey lead you?
I have been. I started apartment management before I was
even like a legal adult. I was leasing apartments and
I kind of grew up a little bit in the
apartment management world, and I heard a rumor that you
might need a real estate license to be the manager.
(37:40):
So I thought, well, I'll just go get a real
estate license. So at the age of twenty one, I didn't. Yeah,
at the age of twenty one, I got a real
estate license, and then I found out, oh, I need
a broker, you know. So I went to Century twenty one.
I had a gold jacket, and I'm really dating myself
my neck and my gold jacket story. I'm dating myself. Okay,
(38:00):
I had a gold jacket and I was just twenty one,
and I thought, man, some of those realtors back then
especially some of the women. They were like, mean, it was,
it was rough, and they weren't going to help. Oh no,
they weren't going to share their MLS books. Oh my goodness,
that MLS book. So I've lived the real estate world
(38:21):
my whole life, and I brought two Kellor Williams real
estate offices to my market. I mean, I have done,
I think everything in real estate, and I've done it
in a big, splashy way. And I've always enjoyed my career.
I always thought my career was so exciting that I
can tell you that this is the most exciting time
in my career right now. And I didn't see it coming.
(38:41):
In twenty eighteen, I just decided I am tired of
competing with other real estate agents. So I don't want
to compete with any other real estate agents ever again.
I want to create my own lane. I'm done. How
can I do something different? And I saw the opportunity
to serve in a more fulfilling and help seniors that
(39:02):
were making big transitional moves. And I thought, I'm just
going to have a small career now, just focused on
helping seniors. And I saw the idea to do a
seminar series, and I thought, oh, that's for me. Because
I've been training and recruiting real estate agents for a
long time. I'm used to being in front of a
classroom seminars. That's for me. And then I found out
about senior move management. I didn't know what that was,
(39:22):
but I thought, I need to find out. That's for me.
And that's where you help people sort organize, go through
everything they own, figure out what you're going to take,
You do a space plan of their new home. You
help them move, get resettled. You honor the timeline of
the process. I mean, we could have a whole radio
show just on that. It's a beautiful process versus call
you know, two you guys in a moving band to move.
(39:46):
It's a completely different experience. And I appreciate professional movers,
but that's it's a completely different industry where it's about
efficiency and how fast can you pack everything? And then
seniors end up living with boxes for the rest of
their life. That's very sad and also real. Just calling
a regular real estate agent is such a bad idea
for your mama, because I can tell you that I
(40:08):
know the real state industry so well that the general
real estate agent has no idea at all the timeline
of a move, and so I am so passionate about
how these moves take place, and then the contrary idea
of aging in place. You know, to a realtor, we're
interested in helping people sell their home and make a
(40:29):
positive move, but we also have to meet people where
they are and help them thrive in the home. So
we sold them. And I think who better than us
than realtors to be a senior home coach and help
people in this process. Well, I'm going deep, going deep.
You come up with that name, you decide you want to.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
Deserve seniors, but you were you were a real estate
office manager, you had a market center, you had agents
who worked under you, and did you kind of leave
that to start serving side.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
I did, and it's very freeing. I love helping realtors
today that want to work in a new and different
way and that aren't transactional thinkers and are looking for
a fulfilling career. So a lot of the people in
the senior home coach world today are mature real tours,
mostly women with a nurturing heart, very heart centered, and
(41:23):
they want to do something much more meaningful. We're blending
senior niche real estate, senior placement, which is helping people
figure out the best place to go, whether it's locally
or across the country, helping people kind of figure out
what makes the most sense, as hard as it might be.
(41:43):
And that's really a coach where you're helping people self discover.
We're not the hero. Everyone is the hero of their
own life. But we're the guide with a plan, a
guide with the questions, a guide who can help you
clarify your own wishes and wants and decisions, whether you're
the older homeowner or you're alone one helping guide them
through the process. So it's just so amazing and it's
(42:06):
so needed, and it means senior home coach professionals and
others in the senior economy being brave like you, Valerie,
and getting on the radio and helping provide this information.
And so the senior home coach method starts with broadcasting
and community outreach. In fact, every business, every business today
(42:30):
needs to be in the business of storytelling. That certainly
we do because people need us. Did I answer that question?
Speaker 1 (42:40):
Yes they do, but yes I'm going to I have
some more questions with that. People do need us I'm
in a situation where one of our group members gave
me referral and I just helped a lady in our
local areas seller home and every and I would leave
there in just page one to text one of our friends,
(43:01):
and I would say, the world needs us. The world
needs us, because first of all, what I want to
be sure everyone knows about you is that we all
still sell real estate, but our heart is for serving.
And when your heart is for serving everything, people say, well,
do you get you still get paid? Well, we do
(43:23):
get paid, but the money is almost secondary when you're
serving people because there's such a need for this. So
let's talk about how did you come.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Up with the name Senior home Coach. So I started
this seminars and almost immediately PBS Kansas came to me
and said, we'd like you to do a television show
for us. Totally shocked me. That was not my plan. Okay,
that threw me for a loop, and it was very intimidating.
And at the time, I must tell you, I was
five to one and weigh two hundred pounds, and so
(43:55):
I couldn't believe they'd want me to be on TV.
And I said, yeah, yes, because I believe in saying yes,
I actually if I can be honest, and I hope
this doesn't make people turn off the radio. I actually
believe that God wants all these things to happen. That
we're being called. I absolutely yeah. So I do assuom
every single day since September of twenty twenty three, called
(44:17):
Thus Senior Call. It's a Thus Seniorcall dot com. It's
for realtor's placement, professional move managers, everyone that's interested in
helping to answer the call to serve seniors when it
comes to complex decisions related to housing and all of
these things. And so anyway, the TV show back in
twenty nineteen really gave me the opportunity to become an
(44:38):
expert because I and seminars to interviewing experts in all
areas within the senior industry and beyond healthcare physicians. It's
been such a joy and it's helped me really become
the expert I set out to be. And how did
I come up with a name? I decided on television
a couple of years ago. I needed a different tag
(45:00):
line than Real Tour, and so I said, I am
America's Senior home Coach with a little trademark, and then yeah,
I just decided that's what I was going to declare.
I declared twenty eighteen, I'm going to dedicate the rest
of my life to serving seniors. And I think when
you make a declaration to the universe, things start aligning.
(45:20):
And that's what started all. I mean, it was just
a solid declaration. And then a couple of years later,
I said, I am America's Senior home Coach. I want
that on TV, and I've taken off all the realtor
stuff because this is far beyond real estate what we're doing.
Real estate's a very tiny piece of this. And then
I started to do the Senior Call because I wanted
(45:42):
to help other realtors and other people understand that there's
a way to create your own lane and do something
so much more meaningful. Realtors that are starting to question
whether they still fit in the real estate world with
everything changing all the time, and they are starting to
doubt themselves and think maybe they don't matter anymore and
that they should quit. So I've had so many realtors
getting this, You've changed my life, you saved my career. Well,
(46:04):
certainly I'm living proof of that. Then I'm living through
and that just makes me so happy because I really
am all about entrepreneurs and helping entreprepreneurs have the career
that they dream of. And we're serving seniors, but I'm
really at service for entrepreneurs. I want entrepreneurs to have
a fulfilling life and make a difference. My program in
(46:24):
which DAW's Empowering Seniors on PBS Kansas. You can find
my show on PBS dot org. My seminar series in
my nonprofit is Empowered Senior, and I thought I can
empower seniors across the country if I help empower other
realtors to do the same thing that I'm doing and
lead them to great training and great professional communities that
can help them thrive. So now we're really embedded in
(46:47):
the National Aging and Police Council, the Society of Certified
Senior Advisors, and we just start going deeper and deeper
and deeper to where this has become a completely different profession.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
It's interesting, and I want to be sure that our
viewers and our listeners understand this that these are people
who are Some of us are realtors, some of us
are in other fields, but we all had our own
individual lives. But the Senior Home Coach actually is something
that encompasses all of these, right, because again it's the
(47:21):
spirit and the call to serve and we all work together.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
It's holistic too. It's everything from your whole life and
then all the training that we're getting, all the communities
that we're joining, all the organizations that we're part of,
and the Senior Home Coach, we're throwing it all in
the blender. We're on a fast trajectory of growth, helping
each other. I say, Locked in Arms has lifelong friends,
(47:47):
changing the way people are served across the country and
how people are educated across the country. So we're really
becoming educators more than anything. Senior Home Coach is about
becoming the authority in your market on aging issues. And
so if.
Speaker 1 (48:04):
Someone's listening today and they're saying, gosh, you know, yeah,
I'm kind of going through all of this, what what
should they do? I mean, yeah, I'm my mom's living
with me. My mom's in her nineties and it's kind
of a bummer in my life. I don't know what
to do for I can't leave work to take her
to the doctor.
Speaker 2 (48:24):
Should should I leave her here?
Speaker 1 (48:25):
Should I put her in this living or I don't
know how to help my mom, or my mom's in
another state, I can't have her live with me. People
have all these issues that we've talked about today. How
should they how should they try to solve that problem?
Can they call us?
Speaker 2 (48:41):
Do you have a I think they could call Xanda Silver,
reach out to reach out to Catherine Ambrose, and then
five minutes on the phone with us, we can change
everything for you because we're going to help you think
a little clearer and work through some of these pain points,
and you're going to know exactly what to do or
be on the right track. So starting with asking questions
(49:04):
like that is so important. But make sure you're asking
professionals that have answers and have resources. And that's what
senior home coach has, that's what Valerie has. We have resources.
We're the resource to the resources. It doesn't do any
good to get into a whiny group on Facebook where
everybody is cussing up a storm about boohoo what they're
(49:29):
dealing with with the adult kids and the crowdsource with
other people that are in that same situation. I guess
it could be useful to feel like you're part of
a tribe. But really what you need to do is
reach out to professionals that can help shine a light
and help you figure out a real plan. And I
like to talk about good kids and bad kids because
there's so much guilt that people put on themselves about
(49:49):
how things are going. And those are the good kids,
where they will sacrifice their marriage, they will sacrifice their health,
they will sacrifice everything and still have so much guilt.
And some of them will love their mom all the
way to heaven and they are so joyful and proud
of that, it's like the best thing they ever did.
And then there are others that are really putting the
(50:12):
rest of their own life in jeopardy. They're getting off
their careers, they're spending their money trying to be a
good kid. And then on the other hand, we have
the bad kids with in patience inheritance or inheritance and patience,
and that are moving into their parents' home because mom
needs help, and then they never move and they really
(50:35):
aren't even helping mom. And we have these bad kids
that are treating the good kids terrible and just start.
Until I got into seeing a niche, I had no
idea that we might be kidnapped or physically attacked by
bad kids. And I reached out to some colleagues that
work in senior living communities. They're like, oh, yeah, happens
(50:58):
to us all the time. I am a naive real
estate agent where usually people are like at least respectful,
And I was actually held hostage in a house by
some bad kids for a while, and report it to
the police. And if that ever happens to me again,
believe me.
Speaker 1 (51:17):
I have a plan now, absolutely so if someone wants help,
if they're listening today or they're watching our video, which
we hope you all do, this will be on YouTube
and in other places they can reach out to us.
And the best place to reach us is are actually
our numbers in our contact information will be at the
(51:40):
bottom of this. But it's important that our listeners all
know you're not alone. First of all, you're not alone,
and we're all going through this.
Speaker 2 (51:51):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (51:51):
Some of you on this call are the seniors. Some
of you are baby boomers. You're the adult child of
an aging parent. You're the Sandwich generation. You are a senior,
and you are a caregiver. You are all of these things,
and people like me and Catherine and our network of
people around the country who are senior home coaches are
available to help you. Our services are free for consultation
(52:15):
and then if you need a move manager or something else,
we can help guide you to people who are the best.
Make sure that you, or your seniors, or your loved
ones all live their very best life. Katherine, if you have,
we have one minute left, what is your best advice
you'd like to leave with our listeners and our viewers today.
Speaker 2 (52:34):
So that's a good question. And I also want to
mention the double Sandwich generation, our kids that are trying
to support us through our adult caregivers and support their grandparents.
This is a intergenerational, multi dimensional challenge and the best
thing you can do is reach out for help. And
(52:56):
you know, we mentioned a couple of books on here.
It's important to reach out and get educated because this
is big and we have we have solutions for you
that are going to help you feel so much better
and help you know exactly what to do. So we
hope you do reach out for help. There's a lot
(53:16):
of professionals that are at the ready.
Speaker 1 (53:20):
Thank you, Katherine Ambrose, America's senior home coach. You're going
to be seeing a lot more of Katherine here. We'll
always have her back again on our show and other things,
and you can also find her online and find her
shows that are on PBS. Thank you for joining us
today on Always Age. Let's remember to come back again
next Monday afternoon here on Cammi T and find us.
Speaker 2 (53:43):
Also on YouTube. Thank you Valerie, Thank you Katherine,
Hello everyone, and welcome back to Always Ageless, where we
definitely believe that growing older just means growing bolder and
doing more exciting things in your life.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I'm your host, Valerie van is.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Over and no matter what your age is, you are
definitely in the right place. This show is your trusted
space for real conversations, for expert insights and stories that
will definitely inspire you. We're here to help you find
the right direction, the solutions, and definitely the resources to
live your best life right where you are or wherever
(00:55):
you're headed for your next place to live. Today, we're
talking about something that touches everyone's heart, home ownership and
safety in your older years. And I couldn't ask for
a better guest than America's senior home Coach Katherine Ambrose.
She's going to talk about the emotional side of moving,
(01:16):
what home ownership means for people in their older years,
whether why so many people want to stay in their
current homes, and she is definitely the epitome of the
Americans home coach. She runs television shows, she has workshops
in her community, she mentors other agents. She's about to
be a grandma, and she brings passion and practical wisdom
(01:39):
to the table. So roll up your windows, grab a
cup of tea, let's dive right in and welcome Katherine
at Always eight.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
So thank you so much, Valerie. I'm so excited to
be here. We're glad to have you. So this is
home Ownership Month.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Let's talk about why we're doing this, especially right now
it's National Homeownership Month. It's also National Safety Month, and
the theme for National Safety this year happens to be
safety at home. So that's a really special place for
us here, those of us who help people in their
older years to be safe and happy at home. So
let's talk about home ownership.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Is how do you.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Think that's evolved for older adults over the past few decades.
You think it has, you think it's the same.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Well, I'll tell you what. It's the American dream. And
so the people that own homes today, let's say the
oldest Americans that own homes today, it was the American
dream to buy your own home. It was also a
very important part of their retirement idea of being that
over time, you pay off your home and it helps
you fund your retirement years because you no longer have
(02:46):
a house payment. So that is really instilled deeply in
our culture. And I see a lot of older homeowners
that are still living in the home that they raised
their children in. And the challenges is that we are
aging every day, our houses are aging every day. Yet
(03:09):
the houses were built for people that never age. The
houses were built for people really to live the American dream,
get married, have a family, go to work, but not
necessarily to grow older in. And so a lot of
our property across the United States is functionally obsolescent for
(03:32):
the stage of life that people are in, and so
we have to look at how do we keep ourselves
safe in our own home. That's true.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
So when we talk about functionally obsolescent, to talk about
for our viewers and our listeners, what does that really mean?
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Well, functionally obsolescent in real estate, it was a term
we had to learn to pass our real estate license,
and for some reason, and that term stayed in my head,
and what it was supposed to mean is different than
how I use it today because today I've really latched
onto that it means that our homes are not oftentimes
(04:12):
really set up for the stage of life that we're in.
By the time when we turn fifty years of age,
we need approximately fifty percent more light than we needed
in our younger years, and so that the lighting might
not be appropriate for aging eyes. By the way, the
National Aging and Place Council and a number of university studies,
there's lots of statistics out there that aging in place
(04:35):
starts get this at the age of forty. So if
you're in your eighties or nineties, or your parents are,
they should feel bad and think, you know, about aging
out of their home. Because aging and place starts at forty.
That's maybe when we should start thinking a little bit
more about those nice pull down attic ladders and climbing
(04:55):
up those rickety stairs with you know, plastic tubs of
Christmas decor and things like that. It's very dangerous.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
I've been selling or a little ladder that goes down
to where the man brings the cold.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I don't know. Oh yeah, I was raised where the
man dumped the coal. So I've been in housing in
real estate my entire life, and I've always pointed out
that tremendous feature of the pull down ladder, never thinking
how dangerous it really is as we age. You know,
what if you fall off that People fall off of
those all the time, and unfortunately, I hate to bring
(05:30):
to bring it down a little bit, but can I
just be real. My husband and I has a long
time husband wife real estate team. We've sold a lot
of homes where homeowners died in the garage hitting their
head and bloodstains that when it come out of the concrete.
You know, we've sold a lot of listings, and so
of course by doing so, we've run into a lot
(05:50):
of homes where a homeowner died from hitting their head.
Lots of people die in their bedroom hitting their head
on a bedpost or the corner of the dresser. And
for a long time has even a young realter, I
was freaked out by anything that looked dangerous in the bedroom,
something you could hit your head on. And so falling
(06:11):
doesn't everyone know? You know that falling is the number
one risk as we age. And then yesterday I was
doing a story on brain function and the scientist and
the physician they are both mentioned that the second cause
of going to a hospital is dizziness and that's related
(06:31):
to the vestibular system. But just think, you know, dizziness,
maybe not having has grade of stability as we age,
not continuing to exercise and be strong losing muscle strength.
All these things can contribute to falls, and so what
can we do in our home to prevent falls? And
(06:54):
lighting is one taking up those area rugs that you love,
love love, and people are so stubborn, And people are
so stubborn and they want those rugs even when they
know they're so dangerous, And just how what can we
do to the home to modify it so we can
age well and safely and continue to live life fully
(07:16):
till our last sunset?
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Absolutely, So why do you think that people want to
stay in their homes longer?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Right now?
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Do you think that it's an emotional thing or do
you think in our case it's maybe it's more economic.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Yeah, I think it's both. I think it's mostly emotional,
and it's very fear based for obvious reasons, because people
fear losing their independence, Like it's ingrained in us to
pick our own clothing when we're a toddler, and to
want to get on that yellow school bus and eventually
borrow our parents' keys and beg for money so we
(07:53):
can be free, be independent with their car and their money.
You know, this is how we are born, and we're
born to be autonomous and be in charge of our
own life. And so that's what I'm all about, is
empowering others so that you can be in charge of
your whole life, the whole way through. And that means
(08:13):
being proactive and pragmatic and doing everything you can to
be healthy and strong and safe in your own home,
and to be thinking about home. It's not just where
you live today, that what home could be maybe somewhere else,
streaming a new dream of what home can be. That
(08:34):
I like to say that people defend their home like
it's the Alamo, And how well did that work out? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Yeah, it's interesting, funny comment. So let's well, yeah, your
home could be your castle. Also could be your burden, right,
So let's talk about the rise of aging in place?
Has that been I don't remember always hearing that term.
Is that a new term but an old old philosophy?
And what exactly is aging in place? You just mentioned
(09:04):
it's a maybe the home that you're in now, But
what if you have to move?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Can you What is aging in place? Really? What it's
supposed to mean is where can you age best? Maybe
it's the community of Orange County, not necessarily the house
you happen to live in right now, but staying in
Orange County because that's where your network is, That's where
your hairdresser is, your physicians, your friends, your church, your bank,
(09:29):
that your life is there in Orange County, California. And
so if we could think a little bit broader than
the house we happen to live in right now, and
maybe it's the community that we live in right now.
And as we go through life, we're usually always forward thinking.
Maybe we're getting excited about getting married, having a baby,
(09:51):
buying a house, buying the next house, the next house,
going to Italy, or looking forward. And at some point,
I think and fear and life review causes people to
stop looking forward and be in constant reflection and life review,
and that is very dangerous. It's very important that we
(10:16):
are always dreaming a new dream and planning something and
staying social. And to me, socialization is the most important
factor of aging. And if people isolate in their home
as they become fragile, as they go into their fragile years,
they isolate more and more. Maybe they have meals on wheels,
maybe they have family member check on them, maybe they
(10:38):
have home care and home health, and these are all
great things, but still it's very isolating, and there's a
lot of people where meals on wheels is the only
socialization that they get as an example, and that causes
brain melt. Okay, that causes cognitive decline because when we're
(10:58):
sitting all the time and we're staying in our safe place.
Tipa Snow who's the world renowned expert on dementia dementia care,
she said, when you're just in your safe place, your
brain just kind of goes like on autopilot, just in
comfort zone, and you're not stimulating yourself. And again that's
just leading to faster physical cognitive decline, better chances of falls,
(11:22):
and all of that. So I think you can modify
a house. You can put an elevator in, you can
put a chairlift in. An architect could get all excited
about all the groovy things you could put in a house.
So you're safe physically. But is anyone thinking about socially
because we are meant to be social creatures, and are
we feeding ourselves socially if we're hiding in our house.
(11:45):
It's interesting that you talk about that.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
I heard it ted talk from a lady who said
that she was sending her mom meals, and she was
making sure that something was always sent to her mom
so she would be fed and she'd have enough food,
which I always call my mom, you have food for
time night, right. But what her mom really wanted was
her to stop by, right, and you can send meals
on wheels, you can do all that stuff. What your
(12:08):
parents really want is.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Craving that love and the way they spell love. Oftentimes
our family members spell it time and it can be
frustrating because let's say mother and daughter. They're living in
different just living in different seasons of life where the
(12:32):
daughter is busy, maybe going to the gym, busy with
her career, with her dreams, her husband, her adult children,
her grandchildren, maybe even her own great grandchildren. I mean,
a really robust, light life with a lot of time pressures,
maybe her own health. Maybe she has cancer, maybe she
has other things that she's dealing with, and mom has
(12:54):
become very isolated. We're maybe making sure that mom has nutrition,
thinking that we're doing a good job as a daughter.
But if mom's very isolated, it's really craving that love
factor and that socialization. It can be frustrating because the
daughter could feel like, gee, mom has mom just keeps
talking about the same old thing all the time. And
(13:14):
what I've learned is set the reason why it seems
that way is because mom has very limited socialization and
very limited things going on in her life, and she's
giving you the best that she has, and so when
she brings up something that seems repetitive, it's because it's
all she's got to talk about. Whereas if someone were
to living senior living among cohorts that have kind of
(13:37):
the same life experience because they've lived the same history,
there's a richness that people can plug into and have
meaningful conversations, and then they become less dependent on their
adult kids and grandkids that are so busy in their lives.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
But I think that senior living also it's important that
you if you're going to put your parents or your
mom or dad in a position or they choose to
go into place like that, it's really important that you
choose one that socially matches them. And I was in
a community this week where I thought my mom would
have a really hard time here. But I've been in
(14:13):
other communities where I thought my mom would love it here.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
And there's one by.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
A university here where they met when I went on
a tour. They mentioned that they have so many retired
professors in their building that they have a club.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
For the retired professor that would be right at myradly.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Yes, yeah, yeah, so their mental stimulation is always going,
So I think that's.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Really important to consider.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
You know, we go on the tours and we how
pretty they are, and they feed us and everybody's got
great food and all those things. But really I think
it's important to match them, just as you're saying social exactly.
So a good placement professional or a senior home coach
would work with your family, usually at no costs, and
they could also hire a care manager and they make
(14:57):
charge by the hour for the same type of services.
But there are professionals out there.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
That can help your family give the best advice, so
can match better medically, financially, and socially, because let's face it,
it's not about a community that's convenient for the adult kids.
It is about what is going to be the best
lifestyle where mom can really thrive. Where can she have
(15:23):
a vibrant lifestyle that's going to keep her healthy and
happy for as long as possible so she can be
around to love on the younger generations for as long
as possible. And we also, my mom is scared to death.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
I'm going to put her in a nursing home right
because her vision of that is a place where there's
old people in the hallway and they're sitting in the corner.
No one's giving them any attention, and they have a bib,
you know. And she doesn't, of course have taken her
She's afraid that that's going to be her end place,
and instead she could be somewhere where they're doing art
(15:58):
and gardening and but.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Also senior tech as a role. Here.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
There's a program called on Screen that you put a
little camera about this size on the top of your
television and it has Ai, a girl named JOI lives
in on screen until Mom will call say to Joy, please,
I want to watch a TV show with horses, and
then Joy will connect my mom and also then we
(16:23):
can we can break into that. So I have an
app on my phone. I can go and say Mom,
how are you? And Mom can see me and I
can see her that she's safe and she's fine, and
then I can break back out again. And it's not
the same as being there, but certainly she loves knowing
that I take time for her.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
There's a lot of age now it's Joy an AI
friend or a real life friend on screen. No, no, no,
Joy is ai. So I have been hearing about more
and more AI programs. So I think there's a lot
of companies that are trying to come to the rescue
and help with these kinds of situations. Because you're right too,
it could be an economic issue too. And really hope
(17:04):
that older homeowners would make good decisions for themselves and
like I said, be proactive and pragmatic and make good
decisions for themselves. But like eighty eight percent are going
to defend their home like as Salomo and not want
to leave. And at some point it could become a
medical decision where daughter someone steps in and makes a
medical decision. And by that time you're probably talking about
(17:27):
skilled nursing, memory care, or maybe just assisted living. But
you've kind of missed the cruise ship on land opportunity
of independent living, and you may not qualify for the
continuum life care plan communities, you know, right at that
entry level where you would like to be. So it's
really complex, like all careers are, and so the you know,
(17:49):
the senior living community world is very complex, and tapping
into professionals can really make a bit different, so you
can make good choices. And I think it's really sad.
Was Candy Striper at a Catholic nursing home in the
nineteen seventies, And I have that picture that your mom
has of a nursing home where people are just in
(18:11):
a wheelchair, hunched over, And yeah, you know, I just
have these sad memories in my head. So I'm happy
that my real estate career has kind of brought me
full circle to serving seniors again. That today senior living
communities by and large are very vibrant. They're very competitive,
and they want people to be happy. That I love
seeing all these things coming onto the market to help people. Also,
(18:33):
agent plays at home if that's what they.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Choose to do, yes, And I think that it's a
hard decision to make.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
Is the where is your next place going to be?
Is it?
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Should it be assisted living? And once you leave your
home and you sell your home, that's final. Although you
can go in my mom's case where she's renting someplace
but she's still independent. She's in a kind of minium
in a fifty five plus community. But those are tough
decisions and so much more, so much more often good
english that the children are involved in this decision and
(19:11):
we have to help make those decisions for them. So
how can I think that there's almost two populations, two
groups here that need to be serviced. It's the older,
the aging parent, but it's also the people our age
who now we're more involved in helping them make their decisions.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Absolutely, and so you're a caregiver. If you are making
sure that mom gets meals, that the air conditioner servicing
gets done, that the plumber gets over there, that the
store gets fixed, that the light bulbs are changed, you
are a caregiver. Caregiving is very stressful, and caregiving can
last fifteen to twenty years. Maybe you're helping your dad
(19:54):
with caregiving and then next you're to helping mom. It
could be a fifteen to twenty span. And especially when
it's spouse is caring for each other, thirty percent of
caregivers will predecease the person they're caring for. It's very stressful.
My husband had significant heart problem April before last and
(20:19):
I know it was the stress of being a caregiver
for first his dad and also his mother, and then
his dad passed and now he and his sister both
are like extreme caregivers for her. Even though she's now
in independent living, it's just as stressful in a way
because she's calling all day long. She's got really sad
(20:41):
symptoms of dementia. You know, we're trying to keep her
in this happy, beautiful place as long as possible before
the next step of memory care, which still can be beautiful,
but we want to treade keeper, vibrant and successful and
thriving where she's at. But man, it's really hard because
people are living much longer, and we're really the first
(21:04):
generation that our caregivers for our parents for so long
because my grandmother her parents died at a young age,
and my mother her parents lived pretty decent older years,
but they died rather quickly, so there was not a
(21:25):
lot of caregiving involved. But today, with all the medications
and all the advances, people are living longer, which is
a wonderful thing. However, we've got to figure out how
to support caregivers better. And thirty percent of seniors are
solo agers. They have no children, they may have no one,
their children may live in Japan, and they're in these States,
(21:46):
and so there's a lot of reasons why people are
aging solo, and so that's a whole nother challenge.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
It is it is at Christmas that counts on aging
here as what they call smilemakers, and this year we
participated in them everything seventy five hundred blankets and sweatsuits
to people in assisted living communities or in private homes
here who had no one that comes to see them.
And that just touched the surface. There's probably twenty thousand
(22:15):
people or more who don't have anyone that comes to
visit them.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
And this is an interesting.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
I every time I'm with people our age, part of
the conversation goes to taking care of our parents.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Right. We never thought of that.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
I mean I never thought when I was this age
we wouldn't be doing other things, right, And of course
we're blessed to have our parents with us, but we
just didn't plan for this. Not only we didn't plan
for our retirement to be this way. You know, we
don't go on trips because we don't have anybody else
to take care of our mom. It's interesting. When my
(22:53):
dad was in his later, very very very later years,
I asked the doctor if I could bring dad home
for Christmas. And he said, Valerie, you're doing it just
to make yourself feel better. He said, if you bring
your dad home, you're going to end up in the
casket next to him home. And I didn't understand that.
I thought that was really a mean thing to say.
(23:16):
But now the more I've learned, and now five years later,
I realized, just as you said, that sometimes the caregivers
suffer more than the patients do.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
And we're all dealing with all of these things.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
And if we want our parents to stay at home,
or they want to stay at home, then we have
those issues as well.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Right.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
And one of the issues I saw last week, Catherine,
an article about the number of homes in the United
States where seniors live that aren't maintained properly.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Yeah, and what can we do about that? Well, that's
a tough one. And we'll run into homeowners that they
were meticulous homeowners their whole entire life, pride of ownership,
as we say, meliss State, where everything was perfect, the
lawn was perfect, the flower beds were perfect, the edging everything,
(24:08):
the siding, perfect, windows everything. And today maybe they pull
into that driveway and it's sad every time because their
home does not look up to their own standards that
they maintained all those years because they're just not able
to do it. And has people become more fragile and
(24:30):
they start staying home, they might go from go go
seniors where they're just go go go all the time,
to slow go. They start picking and choosing what they're
going to go to and then eventually no go and
depending on how they can bounce in and out of
these three areas. But as people become more slowgo and
no go, the house starts to deteriorate. And a lot
(24:54):
of times it's the adult kids are the grandkids that
are making it possible to keep that lawn mode except
and people will think I'm independent in my own home.
Well not really if you're depending on your grandson to
come over every week and do the mowing.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
And my mom says, so I'm perfectly happy. Yeah, that's
because i'm your afriga.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Yes. And so I think that there's a lot of
homeowners or you know, like your mother's renting, that think
they're independent in their own home, when in fact it's
only because they're adult children or someone it could be
a nice neighbor is making it possible. And there's a
(25:38):
point to which I think that a lot of people
where we just aren't thinking straight anymore. And I puzzle
through with a lot of older homeowners on their thought process,
and I can follow the logic that's in their brain,
when in fact it's not very logical that I understand
how they're thinking this through, and they'll think, well, I
(25:59):
have a five year plan on how they're going to
declutter and get ready to move when they really need
to be in assisted living right now, Like a good
decision would be to move next week or within two months.
I was just talking to a lady the other day
and she said two years. She and her husband aren't
(26:20):
going to be here in two years. And then she
said a year. And I'm like, she said six months,
and I said, yeah maybe she said before winter, Yeah maybe.
I mean, this is actually a real crisis. They are
falling all the time, and they're in conflict. The husband
wife are in conflict all the time because it's just
where his mind is at right now. She's got Parkinson.
(26:42):
She knows she needs to move. He doesn't want to move.
He falls all the time, No big deal, because he
can crawl across the lawn, use the chain link fence
to pull himself up. He's very proud of this. He
can fall in the house, crawl across the floor, use
furniture to pull himself up, and he says, when she falls,
she's just dead weight and we have to call nine
one one. There's a lot of people that are only
(27:04):
able to stay in their home thanks to nine one one.
Nine nine one one is their health care plan right now?
Is their home care plan. They're calling nine to one
one all the time. And that's why there are government
initiatives all over the globe talking to mayors in every
city on the planet about Aging in Place agenda because
(27:26):
there's actually not enough places for people to go to
and this is a crisis getting ready to happen. It's
not a PC term silver tsunami, but that's what we're
facing and it's going to change everything. And people talk
about the silver tsunamis coming in. It is here, it
is here here, and people there's a lot of people
(27:47):
with a lot of pain points because of it. But
I'd say most of our population isn't aware of it yet,
but they're going to be aware because our world is
going to turn upside down where people sixty five years
of age and older are going to for the first
time in his way street outnumber those that are children.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
And isn't that number coming in like twenty thirty or
so there'll be more people.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
More people over sixty five than there are under eighteen.
I think maybe by twenty thirty, So anyway, that's coming.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
It's interesting that you talk about the police and fire
because our friend Scott Fisher is working with a fireman
group who's concern is the demand on the fire departments
for senior falls.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
And if we think about it as citizens, that if
you take your and not that they aren't important, but
if you take your critical services off duty to go
help people who fell and instead there's a fire, who
(28:55):
do you choose?
Speaker 2 (28:56):
And that's very difficult.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
And the number of calls he gave a statistic Catherine
in a small city in Arizona, there's something like sixteen
thousand calls in a year or a month or something
of people who just fell. And even in assisted living
communities they call nine one one for falls and that's
(29:21):
a drain on the city's resources. And not again that
the senior citizens aren't important, they are, but what else
can we do to create some other kind of a force,
some other kind of a service that maybe isn't nine
one one, that's maybe a service that just handles come
and help people who felt I bet municipality that's another issue.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
I bet that municipalities are going to have to figure
that out because I see this being a long, ongoing challenge.
And then I wonder about do sister living communities call
on false independent living obviously can because they can't touch
people and provide medical assistance.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
They do because I asked, and I said, so, what
do you do if my mom falls?
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Well, we'll just call nine one over my goodness. Well,
and at some point you got to stop calling nine
one one. My own family made this mistake, and I'd
already been doing the senior home coach thing and interviewing
people on these topics and studying it. I have a
library of books that my husband wasn't ready to let
(30:28):
his dad go. And he said, as long as that
man is going to fight, I'm going to fight with him.
So heartbreaking, and so every time he would fall, they
would call nine one one, and my father in law,
one of the most precious men ever, would get loaded
on ambulance taken to the hospital. Well during COVID he
(30:48):
fell and the last time most of us saw him
was him being loaded onto the ambulance. He should have
been on hospice at home. He should have had home
care at home, home health at home, and hospice. That's
where he was at. But the family wasn't willing to
accept it. No one wanted to let this man go,
and he was taken to an ambulance should it never happened,
(31:12):
put in the hospital, and they would only allow one
family member to come per day for a limit of
two hours, like what happened during COVID criminal And so
the family was getting ready to take his wife to
the hospital for her two hour visit, even though all
the family was in town, and he passed away on
(31:35):
his own before she got there, and then they let
all of us come. An army of ambroses got to
go into the hospital and then no big deal, we
could stay with his dead body for hours. What happened
in our world that allowed this kind of thing to happen,
And I hope that we're all angry about it and
(31:57):
that we want to prevent that from happening ever again.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Once he passed, then it was okay to be with
him when he was there were no threats.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
We could all come in and breathe in the hospital.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
And you know, we do, and you do wonderful seminars
for people on downsizing and so forth. I'm almost as
we talk about this, Captain, I'm kind of wondering if
we shouldn't be having seminars for people like us who
are the children of aging parents, because we need our
we need lessons, we need classes.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
We don't know what to do. I had a couple
in my office this week.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
The husband is in his late eighties and his mom
is you know actually, and the wife's mom is in
her eighties, and she said, I have them both, I
don't know what to do. I gave her the one
of the books we had here for the Fragile Years,
and another book that we have here that we give out,
(32:53):
and the people are just they just don't know what
to do.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
You know, we don't know what to do. That is
my favorite book. I say it every day. Fragile Years
is my favorite book for professionals and for caregivers, for everyone,
for seniors, for the adult kids, everybody, because it's a short,
easy read and it helps you get your mind in
the game so you understand the reality of where this
(33:17):
all is going. And I would I love the idea
of workshops for adult children that are guiding aging loved ones.
But here's my pessimistic view, and I can't wait for
somebody prove me wrong. I don't think kids are coming because,
like I just said, they're busy. Oh yeah, they're stressed.
(33:37):
They're stressed, but they're also very busy just doing the
caregiving but also living their life. I don't think they're
coming to a workshop now. Seniors that are go go
and maybe even slowgo, they'll come because they're bored and
they're available during the day, and so if you can
make it entertaining and interesting, they will come. And that's
(34:00):
what we're teaching senior home coach professionals to do all
over this country, from coast to coast, from New York City,
New Jersey, Baltimore to Sea Coasts. Seniors. And then you
with your always ageless radio show, I'm so proud of
what you're doing. You've been the shining star so far
in this whole thing with your radio show. And that's
(34:23):
how you can reach people is by broadcasting and putting
those virtual clues out there, those breadcrumbs out there, so
that the adult children, when their hair is on fire
and they're hysterical, that they can find you. Because what
happens as they end up in the office of a
senior living community and finally it's hitting them and they're
hysterical and bawling and they're saying, I don't know what
(34:45):
to do, I don't know how to make all these decisions.
I'm not ready for this, and it's everything all at
once because they're not prepared, and so that's when they're
going to end how.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
To make the decisions right. Like someone I know just
had their mom and a CIS living communtee. They had
no idea about the entry fees and the other fees
and the fees if you want to have if they
need to have medication and so forth, and they just
went in straight and said, here's my mom, what do
I have to do? And they could have made better
(35:16):
decisions if they had someone like us helping them.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
Especially if someone's going to run out of money, it's
really critical that they have a plan because let's say
you're going to potentially need to go on Medicaid, you
got to do things right. And probably need to move
(35:42):
into a community where your two years self pay before
you run out of money, in hopes that they will
keep you after. Because if you're straight medicaid and you
just now are realizing that you need to go into
a Medicaid facility, and I don't like to say the
word facility. I usually say community because we call it
the f word facility because no one wants to live
(36:03):
in a facility. But let's be real, if you're going
to go to Medicaid, you're talking about usually that nursing
home that your mom doesn't want to go to unless
you know how to navigate, and you're utilizing professionals that
can help you move into the one or two nicer
places that you have to have a plan and you
need a runway for it, right.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
But it's important because all places are not equal. Every
assets a living community, every memory care community, every board
and care home is not the same. Some of them
don't even have to have the kind of licenses that
we would want, and some people don't even know how
to check their credentials or.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
Their reviews on a state basis.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
So let's talk about because I want to have time
to do this and this is really important to me.
Let's talk about you and what brought you to where
you are now, because we talk about all this knowledge
you have and your heart for serving seniors, but also
your heart for helping other people like us serve seniors.
(37:12):
So how did this all start? You were a candy striper.
I was a candy striper, so I know that part.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
But where did this? Where did your journey lead you?
I have been. I started apartment management before I was
even like a legal adult. I was leasing apartments and
I kind of grew up a little bit in the
apartment management world, and I heard a rumor that you
might need a real estate license to be the manager.
(37:40):
So I thought, well, I'll just go get a real
estate license. So at the age of twenty one, I didn't. Yeah,
at the age of twenty one, I got a real
estate license, and then I found out, oh, I need
a broker, you know. So I went to Century twenty one.
I had a gold jacket, and I'm really dating myself
my neck and my gold jacket story. I'm dating myself. Okay,
(38:00):
I had a gold jacket and I was just twenty one,
and I thought, man, some of those realtors back then
especially some of the women. They were like, mean, it was,
it was rough, and they weren't going to help. Oh no,
they weren't going to share their MLS books. Oh my goodness,
that MLS book. So I've lived the real estate world
(38:21):
my whole life, and I brought two Kellor Williams real
estate offices to my market. I mean, I have done,
I think everything in real estate, and I've done it
in a big, splashy way. And I've always enjoyed my career.
I always thought my career was so exciting that I
can tell you that this is the most exciting time
in my career right now. And I didn't see it coming.
(38:41):
In twenty eighteen, I just decided I am tired of
competing with other real estate agents. So I don't want
to compete with any other real estate agents ever again.
I want to create my own lane. I'm done. How
can I do something different? And I saw the opportunity
to serve in a more fulfilling and help seniors that
(39:02):
were making big transitional moves. And I thought, I'm just
going to have a small career now, just focused on
helping seniors. And I saw the idea to do a
seminar series, and I thought, oh, that's for me. Because
I've been training and recruiting real estate agents for a
long time. I'm used to being in front of a
classroom seminars. That's for me. And then I found out
about senior move management. I didn't know what that was,
(39:22):
but I thought, I need to find out. That's for me.
And that's where you help people sort organize, go through
everything they own, figure out what you're going to take,
You do a space plan of their new home. You
help them move, get resettled. You honor the timeline of
the process. I mean, we could have a whole radio
show just on that. It's a beautiful process versus call
you know, two you guys in a moving band to move.
(39:46):
It's a completely different experience. And I appreciate professional movers,
but that's it's a completely different industry where it's about
efficiency and how fast can you pack everything? And then
seniors end up living with boxes for the rest of
their life. That's very sad and also real. Just calling
a regular real estate agent is such a bad idea
for your mama, because I can tell you that I
(40:08):
know the real state industry so well that the general
real estate agent has no idea at all the timeline
of a move, and so I am so passionate about
how these moves take place, and then the contrary idea
of aging in place. You know, to a realtor, we're
interested in helping people sell their home and make a
(40:29):
positive move, but we also have to meet people where
they are and help them thrive in the home. So
we sold them. And I think who better than us
than realtors to be a senior home coach and help
people in this process. Well, I'm going deep, going deep.
You come up with that name, you decide you want to.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
Deserve seniors, but you were you were a real estate
office manager, you had a market center, you had agents
who worked under you, and did you kind of leave
that to start serving side.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
I did, and it's very freeing. I love helping realtors
today that want to work in a new and different
way and that aren't transactional thinkers and are looking for
a fulfilling career. So a lot of the people in
the senior home coach world today are mature real tours,
mostly women with a nurturing heart, very heart centered, and
(41:23):
they want to do something much more meaningful. We're blending
senior niche real estate, senior placement, which is helping people
figure out the best place to go, whether it's locally
or across the country, helping people kind of figure out
what makes the most sense, as hard as it might be.
(41:43):
And that's really a coach where you're helping people self discover.
We're not the hero. Everyone is the hero of their
own life. But we're the guide with a plan, a
guide with the questions, a guide who can help you
clarify your own wishes and wants and decisions, whether you're
the older homeowner or you're alone one helping guide them
through the process. So it's just so amazing and it's
(42:06):
so needed, and it means senior home coach professionals and
others in the senior economy being brave like you, Valerie,
and getting on the radio and helping provide this information.
And so the senior home coach method starts with broadcasting
and community outreach. In fact, every business, every business today
(42:30):
needs to be in the business of storytelling. That certainly
we do because people need us. Did I answer that question?
Speaker 1 (42:40):
Yes they do, but yes I'm going to I have
some more questions with that. People do need us I'm
in a situation where one of our group members gave
me referral and I just helped a lady in our
local areas seller home and every and I would leave
there in just page one to text one of our friends,
(43:01):
and I would say, the world needs us. The world
needs us, because first of all, what I want to
be sure everyone knows about you is that we all
still sell real estate, but our heart is for serving.
And when your heart is for serving everything, people say, well,
do you get you still get paid? Well, we do
(43:23):
get paid, but the money is almost secondary when you're
serving people because there's such a need for this. So
let's talk about how did you come.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Up with the name Senior home Coach. So I started
this seminars and almost immediately PBS Kansas came to me
and said, we'd like you to do a television show
for us. Totally shocked me. That was not my plan. Okay,
that threw me for a loop, and it was very intimidating.
And at the time, I must tell you, I was
five to one and weigh two hundred pounds, and so
(43:55):
I couldn't believe they'd want me to be on TV.
And I said, yeah, yes, because I believe in saying yes,
I actually if I can be honest, and I hope
this doesn't make people turn off the radio. I actually
believe that God wants all these things to happen. That
we're being called. I absolutely yeah. So I do assuom
every single day since September of twenty twenty three, called
(44:17):
Thus Senior Call. It's a Thus Seniorcall dot com. It's
for realtor's placement, professional move managers, everyone that's interested in
helping to answer the call to serve seniors when it
comes to complex decisions related to housing and all of
these things. And so anyway, the TV show back in
twenty nineteen really gave me the opportunity to become an
(44:38):
expert because I and seminars to interviewing experts in all
areas within the senior industry and beyond healthcare physicians. It's
been such a joy and it's helped me really become
the expert I set out to be. And how did
I come up with a name? I decided on television
a couple of years ago. I needed a different tag
(45:00):
line than Real Tour, and so I said, I am
America's Senior home Coach with a little trademark, and then yeah,
I just decided that's what I was going to declare.
I declared twenty eighteen, I'm going to dedicate the rest
of my life to serving seniors. And I think when
you make a declaration to the universe, things start aligning.
(45:20):
And that's what started all. I mean, it was just
a solid declaration. And then a couple of years later,
I said, I am America's Senior home Coach. I want
that on TV, and I've taken off all the realtor
stuff because this is far beyond real estate what we're doing.
Real estate's a very tiny piece of this. And then
I started to do the Senior Call because I wanted
(45:42):
to help other realtors and other people understand that there's
a way to create your own lane and do something
so much more meaningful. Realtors that are starting to question
whether they still fit in the real estate world with
everything changing all the time, and they are starting to
doubt themselves and think maybe they don't matter anymore and
that they should quit. So I've had so many realtors
getting this, You've changed my life, you saved my career. Well,
(46:04):
certainly I'm living proof of that. Then I'm living through
and that just makes me so happy because I really
am all about entrepreneurs and helping entreprepreneurs have the career
that they dream of. And we're serving seniors, but I'm
really at service for entrepreneurs. I want entrepreneurs to have
a fulfilling life and make a difference. My program in
(46:24):
which DAW's Empowering Seniors on PBS Kansas. You can find
my show on PBS dot org. My seminar series in
my nonprofit is Empowered Senior, and I thought I can
empower seniors across the country if I help empower other
realtors to do the same thing that I'm doing and
lead them to great training and great professional communities that
can help them thrive. So now we're really embedded in
(46:47):
the National Aging and Police Council, the Society of Certified
Senior Advisors, and we just start going deeper and deeper
and deeper to where this has become a completely different profession.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
It's interesting, and I want to be sure that our
viewers and our listeners understand this that these are people
who are Some of us are realtors, some of us
are in other fields, but we all had our own
individual lives. But the Senior Home Coach actually is something
that encompasses all of these, right, because again it's the
(47:21):
spirit and the call to serve and we all work together.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
It's holistic too. It's everything from your whole life and
then all the training that we're getting, all the communities
that we're joining, all the organizations that we're part of,
and the Senior Home Coach, we're throwing it all in
the blender. We're on a fast trajectory of growth, helping
each other. I say, Locked in Arms has lifelong friends,
(47:47):
changing the way people are served across the country and
how people are educated across the country. So we're really
becoming educators more than anything. Senior Home Coach is about
becoming the authority in your market on aging issues. And
so if.
Speaker 1 (48:04):
Someone's listening today and they're saying, gosh, you know, yeah,
I'm kind of going through all of this, what what
should they do? I mean, yeah, I'm my mom's living
with me. My mom's in her nineties and it's kind
of a bummer in my life. I don't know what
to do for I can't leave work to take her
to the doctor.
Speaker 2 (48:24):
Should should I leave her here?
Speaker 1 (48:25):
Should I put her in this living or I don't
know how to help my mom, or my mom's in
another state, I can't have her live with me. People
have all these issues that we've talked about today. How
should they how should they try to solve that problem?
Can they call us?
Speaker 2 (48:41):
Do you have a I think they could call Xanda Silver,
reach out to reach out to Catherine Ambrose, and then
five minutes on the phone with us, we can change
everything for you because we're going to help you think
a little clearer and work through some of these pain points,
and you're going to know exactly what to do or
be on the right track. So starting with asking questions
(49:04):
like that is so important. But make sure you're asking
professionals that have answers and have resources. And that's what
senior home coach has, that's what Valerie has. We have resources.
We're the resource to the resources. It doesn't do any
good to get into a whiny group on Facebook where
everybody is cussing up a storm about boohoo what they're
(49:29):
dealing with with the adult kids and the crowdsource with
other people that are in that same situation. I guess
it could be useful to feel like you're part of
a tribe. But really what you need to do is
reach out to professionals that can help shine a light
and help you figure out a real plan. And I
like to talk about good kids and bad kids because
there's so much guilt that people put on themselves about
(49:49):
how things are going. And those are the good kids,
where they will sacrifice their marriage, they will sacrifice their health,
they will sacrifice everything and still have so much guilt.
And some of them will love their mom all the
way to heaven and they are so joyful and proud
of that, it's like the best thing they ever did.
And then there are others that are really putting the
(50:12):
rest of their own life in jeopardy. They're getting off
their careers, they're spending their money trying to be a
good kid. And then on the other hand, we have
the bad kids with in patience inheritance or inheritance and patience,
and that are moving into their parents' home because mom
needs help, and then they never move and they really
(50:35):
aren't even helping mom. And we have these bad kids
that are treating the good kids terrible and just start.
Until I got into seeing a niche, I had no
idea that we might be kidnapped or physically attacked by
bad kids. And I reached out to some colleagues that
work in senior living communities. They're like, oh, yeah, happens
(50:58):
to us all the time. I am a naive real
estate agent where usually people are like at least respectful,
And I was actually held hostage in a house by
some bad kids for a while, and report it to
the police. And if that ever happens to me again,
believe me.
Speaker 1 (51:17):
I have a plan now, absolutely so if someone wants help,
if they're listening today or they're watching our video, which
we hope you all do, this will be on YouTube
and in other places they can reach out to us.
And the best place to reach us is are actually
our numbers in our contact information will be at the
(51:40):
bottom of this. But it's important that our listeners all
know you're not alone. First of all, you're not alone,
and we're all going through this.
Speaker 2 (51:51):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (51:51):
Some of you on this call are the seniors. Some
of you are baby boomers. You're the adult child of
an aging parent. You're the Sandwich generation. You are a senior,
and you are a caregiver. You are all of these things,
and people like me and Catherine and our network of
people around the country who are senior home coaches are
available to help you. Our services are free for consultation
(52:15):
and then if you need a move manager or something else,
we can help guide you to people who are the best.
Make sure that you, or your seniors, or your loved
ones all live their very best life. Katherine, if you have,
we have one minute left, what is your best advice
you'd like to leave with our listeners and our viewers today.
Speaker 2 (52:34):
So that's a good question. And I also want to
mention the double Sandwich generation, our kids that are trying
to support us through our adult caregivers and support their grandparents.
This is a intergenerational, multi dimensional challenge and the best
thing you can do is reach out for help. And
(52:56):
you know, we mentioned a couple of books on here.
It's important to reach out and get educated because this
is big and we have we have solutions for you
that are going to help you feel so much better
and help you know exactly what to do. So we
hope you do reach out for help. There's a lot
(53:16):
of professionals that are at the ready.
Speaker 1 (53:20):
Thank you, Katherine Ambrose, America's senior home coach. You're going
to be seeing a lot more of Katherine here. We'll
always have her back again on our show and other things,
and you can also find her online and find her
shows that are on PBS. Thank you for joining us
today on Always Age. Let's remember to come back again
next Monday afternoon here on Cammi T and find us.
Speaker 2 (53:43):
Also on YouTube. Thank you Valerie, Thank you Katherine,
Popular Podcasts
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.