Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
There are people in this world who just seem to
shine a little brighter, not because life has been easy
for them, but because they've chosen to meet it with purpose, compassion,
and heart. These are the people who turn life's hardest
moments into lessons of grace, who find meaning in the
(00:20):
mess and beauty in the burden. My guest today is
one of those people. Her name is Mary Lynch, and
if you know her, you know that her energy fills
every room she walks into. She's a senior home coach,
a realtor, a certified Senior advisor, a speaker, the chair
(00:42):
of the National Aging and Placed Council Greater Baltimore Area,
and more recently, she is an author. But more than
all of that, Mary is someone who sees people, not
just their homes or their challenges, but their stories and
their hearts. Her mission is simple, but it's profound, to
(01:04):
help others make their next move by choice, not by circumstance. Recently,
Mary shared a deeply personal story in chapter one of
the Aging in Place Conversations book Caregiver Edition, which just
came out on Amazon. It's a heartwarming story about love, loss,
(01:29):
and the bond she shared with her grandfather, a chapter
that has touched so many of us because it's not
just about caregiving. It's about the love that shapes who
we become. And I encourage you to read it, and
I encourage you to have a box of Kleenex close by,
and how unexpected challenges inspire us and how we treat
(01:49):
others with dignity, love and respect. Today, we're going to
explore that story and the woman behind it, her calling
her faith in peace people, and the spark that keeps
her heart wide open even in a world that rushes
past us, when some things don't truly even matter. Mary Lynch, Welcome.
(02:12):
I am so thrilled to share this heart to heart
with you. Thank you for being with us.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Valerie, my friend, what an honor to be here, and
thank you for that beautiful introduction. I am so blessed
to have you in my life and to share this
journey and this calls with you. And I couldn't be
more thrilled to be here today with you.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Certainly our pleasure, and certainly you're a spark of your
force of nature, You're a spark of life, You're an
amazing person, and it's just such a pleasure to have
you here on, always ageless to share our stories and
all the things that brought us together and all the
things that have made you the amazing person that you are.
(02:57):
Let's start with the heart behind this story. Yeah, your
chapter in the Caregiver edition begins with your grandfather. Can
you take us back to that time? What do you
remember most vividly about those days together? And I saw
recently a post on social media where you were in
a boat with him, just ra on the river or
(03:17):
the bay, whichever it was.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Sure, so I haven't shared this with really anybody publicly,
but my grandpa was really more like a father figure
for me. The story behind this was he was married
to my grandma, of course, and she had dementia for
ten years prior to his illness, and as typical with caregivers,
he really put himself on the back burner while he
(03:42):
was taking care of my grandmother. I you know, didn't
really know the signs of caregiver fatigue and stress at
the time. I was raising little kids, and he was
so proud and refused help. Right. He really felt like
for better or for worse was his you know, job, right,
and so he was not going to leave. He didn't
(04:05):
ask for help, and he really, like I said, put
his own health on the back burner. So when she
passed away, I really felt in some ways that we
had my grandpa back yet back for the first time, right,
because he was able to come and spend time with
us and leave the house. And so we really took
(04:27):
him on a bit of a one year all adventure.
He had never been to we have a new relatively
new you know, in his eighty four years of life,
baseball stadium were the Baltimore Orioles, So he had never
been there, and I was able to take him there.
He had never been to a Ravens game, you know,
back when I was growing up as the Baltimore Cults.
(04:48):
We took him there. We even took him on a
cruise where he ziplined across the Caribbean and it was
so much fun. Unfortunately, we came back and he had
received a diagnosi that I think in the back of
his head he knew something was wrong, but for years
he just kept pushing through and did not go to
(05:09):
the doctor to get checked out. So he ended up
with colon cancer and it moved fast and aggressive. And
so the chapter really begins with him coming to my
house where I had two high schoolers. I was single
and divorced at the time. I was the primary caregiver
for my children. And hear, this man that I loved
(05:31):
more than life needed us. And that's where the story
begins in the book. It was the middle of the
night and I was woken up by my grandfather in distress.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
And how did your boys cope with being in a
multi gen housing arrangement?
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Yeah, so I have a boy and a girl, and
you know they really truly this was our pop, right,
this was our number one guy. This guy didn't ever
come about anything. Every time we saw Pop, he had
the biggest hugs. He was happy to see us no
matter what was going on in his life. You know,
it was all about us and happiness and really just
(06:12):
being the best day that we could have or the
best versions of ourselves. So Pop never complained. So really, truly,
my kids we honored that ability to have him in
the home. Unfortunately, and you know this all too well,
our space was not welcoming for anyone with accessibility needs.
(06:34):
Right here, I was thirty years at the time, I
was twenty five years in the business of selling homes. Right, really,
priding myself on the American dream and having no idea
that my grandfather's house of fifty plus years and my
home were not really places to age successfully.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
So there we were, well, what did care caregiving really
teach you about love? I know the answers to some
of this about love, patience, and what it truly means
to be present for another human being. Now, as a mom,
of course we know that, right, we know some of it.
It's not the same as caregiving and taking care of
(07:17):
someone who's not your own child.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Sure, And you know, Valerie, the crazy piece of this
is is I didn't realize that it taught me anything
until I had the opportunity to journal and revisit it
and actually write this part of the book. Right. I
really I feel like I understood the stress that people
were under. I understood the burden of caregiving. I didn't
(07:41):
understand the blessings of it, right, And so I think
your question was what did caregiving really teach me? What
it really taught me is that very few people are
ready for it right. Not their houses aren't ready. They
don't really know the options that are out there right
in our community about respite, about home care, about who
(08:05):
you can allow into your house. Heck, with technology now
about all of the ways that you can keep an
eye on things at home, right, have that extra level
of safety, even down to knowing that I had options
when it was time for a hospice company, I had
no clue. So when we were in the trenches, right,
(08:29):
I didn't know anything and I was calling out and
really didn't wasn't able to find a one stop resource
to be able to give me those options, sadly.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
And that's what's brought many of us to this position.
Sure we all have our story right where everything was
fine until the call comes, whatever call that is, right.
I mean, I've had one, You've had one. So many
people that we know have had one, the families we serve,
and all of a sudden you're in that position. And
I've found and I've heard again with the people that
(09:01):
we've worked with, Mary, is it one of the hardest parts,
really is the uncertainty. You don't know what's coming, you
don't know how to handle it because is this a
one time thing? Because we don't know, right, we don't
know what that sickness means, we don't know what that
physical condition means. We don't know how much money we're
going to need do we Is it going to cost
us everything we've got to put them in a sisted
(09:22):
living do we don't have to? So I think that
uncertainty is a big problem with caregiving.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
With that uncertainty and fear, is right Valerie, Like with
kids and picking colleges, right, if they pick the wrong one,
they have an opportunity to go somewhere else or take
another turn. Unfortunately, a lot of times in these caregiving situations,
we have one shot, we have one opportunity, right, and
(09:52):
when this person means the world to you, the added
stress of not messing it up, not hurting them, not
causing more pain than good, right, just not knowing. So
that I think is a big fear while you're in
the trenches of trying to hold it all together, usually
(10:13):
sleep deprived. Right, That's where the constant questioning of is
my home the right place? You see? I know there
are other options, there are places that people that maybe
it doesn't work, no judgment, but not everyone wants to
(10:35):
take the caregiver in For multitude of reasons. For me
and my family, that wasn't an option, right. My grandpa
was going to we were going to do it together
until the final breath. No matter what it took. There
wasn't a plan B for us. Doesn't mean that other
(10:55):
people can't have options.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Was there a moment when you realize this experience is
changing the course of my life?
Speaker 2 (11:06):
That came later, I mean during the you know, caregiving,
we had so many wonderful honors. The Veterans' Association came
in and pins my grandpa on both of my children.
Now my children, remember are his great grandchildren, right, so
they were able to come home from school every day
they had popped there. They were able to see and
(11:30):
to hang out and love on him until the final
final breath. And so you know, at the time, right
at the time, we were learning and loving, and that's
all we really had to offer is we knew how
to love. It wasn't really taking that reflection. And so
(11:54):
during my pop's caregiving, I was moving, I had fallen
in love. I was getting ready to blend a family.
I had, my daughter was graduating high school. There were
all of these moving parts that Pop was just sort
of along for the ride of our life, right, And
so when he passed, we're still busy. We still have kids,
(12:16):
they're going off to college and stuff's happening, And that's
where the beauty is of just taking the time. And
if anybody's been through a caregiving experience, do not underestimate
the value of locking yourself into a quiet room and
taking the time to journal and to remember the experiences
(12:39):
and the memories. Because while we're in it, we're worried
about the next meal, right, who's going to eat? Are
we late for an appointment? What's going to happen? Is
there going to be a fall? You know, what's going on.
When's the caregiver coming, when's this person coming for blood pressure? Right?
But when you can step away from that and have
a bird's eye view of your caregiving experience, that's when
(13:04):
all the beauty and the love comes out.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Yeah, but that's good advice. I don't journal, and my
situation is a little bit different. So when he came
to live with you, he was already sick.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Yes, he really wanted his independence, and so he had
started the treatment for his cancer from his house. He
would spend a lot of time with us, but he
really wanted to go back to that home that he
loved and he cherished. Right, And we hear this so
often and so it wasn't until he really started having
(13:43):
negative effects of that last bout where I went to
his house and realized he was struggling with a multitude
of things. And you know, again, fifties Baltimore row home
right up a flight of star to get to a
full bathroom, right, not agent place friendly at all. And
(14:06):
so it was that day again, no planning, completely ill prepared.
We're going to grab a bag and you're coming with me, right,
And so that's what happened. We got a hospital bed
wedged in the corner of my dining room and that
turned into his makeshift spot.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
And so many times we hear stories that that's where
they end up, right in the dining room, in a
hospital bed. And we try to make it as comfortable
and pleasant as we can for everybody involved, the family
as well as as our older loved one. Sure pertainly difficult,
and so many caregivers Mary, we know, feel exhausted or
(14:48):
just invisible, like nobody appreciates them. And what would you
say to someone who's right in the middle of that journey,
feeling torn between love and burnout, just like you're you know,
we know you of them, but you're so tired and
is it ever going to end? And what would you
say to them?
Speaker 2 (15:08):
The number one I would think I would say is
imagine you're in a plane and you get the oxygen
mask to yourself. First, you have got to take care
of yourself. You know, this is in honor of my grandpa,
who took care of somebody, but he was the caregiver
that ended up hurting himself in the long run right
(15:29):
by not prioritizing his own health. So, while I had
all of these things going on, luckily we had a
wonderful hospice company here locally. It was the second one.
The first one was a mess. Second one that we
went to was lovely. And there were a couple of occasions.
I believe it was two different times where we were
(15:50):
able to get a respite break right because I still
had young folks that had things that needed to get accomplished, right,
There were vacations planned. Obviously I would have loved for
him to join us, but it got to the point
where he wasn't able. Once we knew there wasn't anything
(16:10):
crisis mode, right, he was stable, he wasn't going to
pass in our absence. We were able to take advantage
of some of that care. So you know, fast forward,
being part as you are of the National Aging and
Police Council, I formed so many relationship with so many
wonderful home care companies, right, And it really is take
(16:33):
some time. Make sure that you are pouring into your picture,
because we know you can't pour from an empty cup.
And you have to take care of your own health.
Don't miss those appointments, you know, take care of yourself,
eating right, sleeping right, all of those things. That's the
(16:54):
number one. And don't be hard on yourself, right.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Love. Yeah, and the guilt, you know, the one trip
we go on is our guilt trip, right, the guilty
more right, we should be doing more. And I still
feel like I should have been with my dad when
he passed away. I knew he was going to pass
away that week, and we did morn death or tried
(17:18):
to prepare us. I should say, yeah, And I always
will feel like I should have been there. I should
have stayed there all day, not knowing. Of course, that
was the day only God knew. And so we all
have those those moments of guilt and all the things
that are It's interesting when my dad was sick, I
wanted to bring him home from the care community where
(17:39):
he was in for Christmas, And I asked the doctor,
can I bring him home? And the doctor said something
interesting to me at the time. Now I understand it,
but the doctor said, if you bring him home, Valerie,
you're doing it for you, not for him, and you're
going to end up in the coffin before he is,
or right next to him. And I thought, well, that's
kind of mean. But now we understand and right that
(18:01):
caregiving is a challenge and we're supposed to take care
of ourselves. But I honestly thought I was doing it
for my dad. But and it didn't matter much because
he wasn't with us much longer after that anyway, But
we do have to take care of ourselves and think
of those things.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
I hadn't heard that before. That's really profound, it is.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Yeah, I hadn't either, and I thought that. I thought
he was pretty mean. So of course I brought my
dad home anyway for Christmas. Why why wouldn't I? What
does the doctor know? Right? How's he know I'm gonna
be that that's gonna happen to me?
Speaker 3 (18:33):
But now, of course, now marry you and I work
with older adults in these kind of situations, we do know. Yeah,
when you're writing something this personal, though, it can be
must be very painful. So were there moments when you
just found yourself fighting back the tears and the healing
And how was it writing this about this chapter about
(18:54):
your journey with your pop.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
So I don't even have the book yet, Valerie, right
there was just really released, and I ordered a case
of them. I think maybe I should have ordered one,
because then I would have probably gotten it, But I
ordered like a case and I don't have it. So I,
you know, I went through the transcript, you know, just
to refresh, right, because I wrote so many versions of
(19:20):
it and I kept thinking, oh, that's too much, or
you know, don't share that part. I tried to make
it more of a universal or pull the items that
were more of a universal story. But gosh, every time
I read it, I cry my eyes out. I didn't
really realize when I had raised my hand to be
(19:42):
considered for writing a piece, I was really going to
write something from the real estate world, right, like more
from housing. And there's a little bit of that weaved in,
just because both his house and my house were not prepared.
And I think back and you mentioned on the guilt,
(20:03):
But I think back, you know why didn't I know why?
You know, like, how does this man who served in
the military and now he's in his boxer shorts in
the dining room, like no privacy? Right, Like he deserved
better than that. But you know what, he had love
and that was a good thing.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Right.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Love beats privacy any day of the week. But in
a perfect world, perfect right, if I could have waived
my magic wand I would have had a room in
a bathroom for him to have a little bit more
privacy and dignity. But it was so emotional in such
a beautiful, beautiful way for me, and I never in
(20:43):
a million years realized that it could turn into a
little bit of a legacy piece for my family by
naming him, by putting his name in there, something that
no one can ever take away, right if they want
to look for him, if they want to google, right, Like,
(21:04):
there's going to be that piece that's going to outlive me.
And I'm I'm really eternally grateful for the opportunity and
just so so proud to be his only grandchild and
to be able to share that the story of.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Pop and that you had the and that you had
the ability to make a judgment in advance and bring
him home with you, right, not knowing exactly how long
he would be with you, exactly that this would this
part of your life would change everything. But you chose
(21:49):
to bring him home with you, not knowing what that
would really mean to you.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
Yeah, that was never you know, some of that maybe
was meeting naive because in the book I explained, you know,
when he was delusional and he was combative, and you know,
not coming from medical background at all, I knew a
little bit that my grandma had some UTIs. I really
didn't even think that that was a man thing, you know,
(22:16):
And that's again me just not knowing. And so the night,
you know, the book starts of me waking up in
the middle of the night, man flailing and screaming, and
it was scary. It was scary, you know, I didn't
know if I was going to be hurt. And this
man would never had he had his mind right at
the time, he would never have laid a finger on me.
(22:41):
So I think maybe some of it was the Good Lord.
Maybe it so that I could handle right, Like I
give a lot of it to Jesus and say that
he wasn't going to give me more. He knew what
this meant to me and to my heart and to
my family and our legacy, and that we really wanted
(23:04):
to honor this. And for us, it was a personal
decision that we were going to see this through and
he was going to equit me, right, God was going
to prepare me and equit me so that I was
going to be able to follow through with us.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
And and he did, and he did. Amen, And look
at how he brought you through, that allowed you to
cross the river and brought you through, And now look
at what you've brought to other people because of your
own journey. And that's pretty amazing. That's pretty impressive. Let's
talk about your your life, your big life. You you're
(23:41):
a realtor, you're a senior home coach, you're a certified
senior advisor. When you speak, it feels like a calling,
not a career. How did that calling first find you?
Speaker 2 (23:56):
There was you know, as I you know, I lost
my grandpa and my kids were off at college, and
you know, twenty twenty came and the world just felt
a little different. And I had been surrounding myself with
real estate agents because it's what I've known for twenty
(24:16):
five years at the time, right, and I craved more.
I felt a calling. I felt that as much as
this industry as a single mom allowed me to provide
for my kids in ways that I don't believe another
industry would have been able to provide. So I am appreciative.
(24:40):
But twenty five years and the heart, the soul, the mission,
the hunger for wanting a little bit more, and how
I was going to I don't know, find my meeting.
My husband's in insurance, and I really thought, you know what,
maybe it's just time that I passed this baton and
(25:01):
I say, thank you real Estate, You've been good, but
maybe I can help another business thrive. And then it
was one of those just perfect kind of pieces. I
don't even know how I found the senior home coach, folks.
I had my through real estate, and as you know,
through National Association of Realtors, there's a course. I would say,
(25:23):
it's a you know you, so you want to start
talking to seniors about real estate. This is sort of
the Senior real Estate Seniors Real Estate Institute. I is
that what it's called?
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Specialist?
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Yes? Okay, so Sris did that years ago and sort
of dusted off my book, and then I stumbled upon
the Senior Home Coach folks, and from that started talking
about Alzheimer's and functional medicine and thriving and then realizing
that I wanted to do the things that people were
(25:59):
talking about, meaning like challenge my own intellect and learn
more things. And you know, if you're in real estate,
there's very few changes that come along each year that
really challenge you. There might be specific clients and scenarios, right,
but the hunger of wanting something new was not there
(26:20):
for me. And so when I started to learn that
not only learning new things would help me cognitively right,
have me stay sharper longer, I just wanted to learn
learn learn about good health, about treating my body better,
(26:41):
and about right ageless, right longevity, right what that means.
And so I met you, you know, and then one
door just it seemed like the one door opened, and
then it's just been doors opening ever since.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
It has been.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
It has.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
But I believe in your case and the case of
many of the people in our group, probably almost everybody
in our group, that the doors are there, and some
people like you have taken hold of the door handle
and opened it. And sure, it's amazing that that has
allowed so many of us to have this opportunity, but
(27:22):
you took it, and you've done so much with it,
and I would say probably it's really brought a lot
to your life as well as what you brought to
other people.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
It's been so rewarding. I spoke at a center this
past Monday, I guess that was just two days ago,
and I met an eighty seven year old who was
a female race car driver her whole life. I'm fascinated
by the folks that I am meeting. And so I'm
born and bred here, right, I'm Baltimore my whole life.
I went to school here and never left. And we
(27:56):
get used to hanging out with the people that we've
always hung out with, right, And so for me meeting
so many new people at such a rapid pace, and
so having the opportunity and the blessing and what an
honor to speak in front of people and to educate
my community on some things that I've learned through this
(28:18):
process and then have them come up to me and
then feedback into them as well real life friends.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
So I think things have also changed in life right
were ten years ago, we weren't thinking about this aging
and place thing. Right, We weren't, And now we become
aware of the fact that more of us are living longer,
and now it's a thing, right, and it's a reality.
The population has changed, the world has changed, and we
(28:46):
become more aware of it. Our parents are living longer,
many of us and or loved ones, and it's become
something that's that we become aware of, and some of
us have have become interested in it and found that
our passion. I grew up wanting to be a nurse,
So this is kind of the nurse that I never
that I never was. A lot of people think, Mary,
(29:07):
that aging in place just me ramps and grab bars, right,
that's what they think. So you've seen something much deeper
about dignity, connection and choice. How do you explain that
to families? How do you get them to understand.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
That what I like, the whole concept of aging in
place for me is your choice, your decision, you deciding
where you're going to sleep, right, what that's going to
look like. And so it's not just the house, it's
not just the building, it's the people, it's the support system,
(29:45):
it's the education, it's the medicine, it's the transportation. Right,
it's all of those things together, and you know, back
to your uh, you know, the generational stuff is in Baltimore.
Here California is a little bit newer housing. But in Baltimore,
our houses are old, right, and so a house that
(30:07):
was built in the nineteen hundred, it's was people weren't
living past forty for gosh sakes, right, and so of
course they weren't made for eight living, you know, living older.
And my Girdhau's house, the nineteen fifties house. You know,
even then, life expectancy was like fifteen years shorter than
it is now. So it's having that conversation of you
(30:35):
can absolutely be in charge of your decision and where
you want to age if you start being proactive.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Yes, and I think you have a slogan your motto
is helping you make your move by choice, not by circumstance,
which is really powerful. What inspired that phrase and how
does that guide your work every day?
Speaker 2 (31:00):
There have been clients or children of folks that have
called me too late, just too late, right, They thought, oh,
you know, I think a condo would have been nice,
but at this point, they then need assistance, right, They
need somebody else to help them. So the goal is
(31:21):
really to get people to start thinking sooner over later. Right.
And so so many that have made the decision, what
do we hear all the time? Right, I wish I
would have done this years ago.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Right.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
Whatever decision that they make, whatever it is, whatever their
thought process, whether it's moving into a you know, an
in law suite in somebody in their children's house, that's
a thing, right, get to see the grandkids on a
regular basis, Whether they decide that an aging community is
better for them. I had folks recently that had a huge,
(31:58):
beautiful custom rancher that they had built with the absolute
purpose of aging and staying in and it turned out
to be way too big and way too expensive to maintain.
So sometimes what we think is the right answer. And
I'm so proud of them for pivoting getting a villa.
(32:19):
They are thrilled, They are absolutely thrilled. All mister Bill
wanted was to be able to have bird feeders on
the deck and he got it at the villa. And
you know what, they have a third of the house
to clean. So it's just having that conversation and trying
to identify ahead of time, what does what does the
final quarter of my life look like? How do I
(32:43):
want that to look And do I want to really
be proactive in making those decisions or do I want
to wait for something and have someone else make those
choices for me.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
And of course the answer is they want to make
their own decisions. I would say, so I still want
to put it off because they don't want to have
to deal with it right now, both the families and
the older the older parents or loved ones. What's a
moment in your work that you can tell us about
when you were with someone, maybe a hug or a
thank You're a story when it makes you pause and say,
(33:15):
this is why I do this?
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Yeah, I have a in my neighborhood. So I moved
twenty twenty COVID into a neighborhood and it's I'm most
of these folks are original owners and have been here
fifty years. And one thing led to another and one
(33:37):
of my neighbors needed to sell. This was just they
ended up closing like in August, so it's been fairly
recent and she raised kids, she raised grandkids. Her husband
passed away here. He had a business here. You know,
this was everything, and it was so emotional for her.
Now even though she was moving in with family and
(33:59):
looking forward to that, it was still just such an
emotional process for her. So I don't even know where
I saw an idea, but there was a really large
greeting card that I found. It was probably two foot
tall greeting card that I found on Amazon, and I
went door to door and got the neighbors to sign
(34:23):
and write a story that they remembered from the last
fifty years. Like I said, they're all still original homeowners,
so they've been with this. Imagine that. Imagine having a
neighbor for fifty years. You don't really see that so much,
you know, anymore. People are so transient and moving along.
(34:44):
And so she opened it, and in hindsight, maybe I
should have given it to her by herself, you know,
after closing. But I gave it to her its settlement.
You know, a lot of us give the little watercolors
of the house, and she loved that, and she teared
up a little bit. But it was reliving memories from
(35:06):
forty five years ago at the bus stop that neighbors
had written to her. That just she was crying I
was crying. The buyer who now knows what kind of
neighborhood they're moving in, was crying, right, we were just
all It was just such a powerful moment for me
(35:30):
to remember that this is not transactional, right, This is relationships,
This is memories. This is so much more than passing
a key across the table.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Oh absolutely, And especially when you're dealing with people like
you said, you've been in their homes that long, and
who built these relationships, and they've raised their families and
seen each other's kids grow up and the grandkids come back.
It's very emotional, very emotional. And we talk about this
in our group, two people downsize and decluttering and moving.
(36:08):
And what a great idea for you to do that card,
How fun, What a great idea. I'll have to think that,
think of that. You have to share that with people.
Mary you let's talk about Mary Lynch, the woman mission
you are not for your bright energy, your amazing kind heart.
I've seen you even recently do things with and for people.
(36:31):
That is just such a sign of kindness and passionate heart,
just beyond belief. Even where does all that come from?
Where is your motivation? Your radiant personality, your drive to
keep going, and not only for you and your clients,
but for your colleagues, what you do for other people
(36:52):
who you work with and who you know.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
I want to be more like my pop. My pop
would talk to everybody. My pop would talk to everybody
at the grocery store. And right after he passed, I
started talking to people at the grocery store and they
thought I was crazy, you know, they were like, I
was like, oh, you need ma anaise or what you know?
And you know, people are funny. There was just something
about my path where people everybody he spoke to. And
(37:16):
I'm not sure if that's an age thing, and it'll
get easier as I age and people will be more
willing to have that conversation. But as I started this
with my pop, no matter what kind of day he
was having or what he was going through, he wanted
to pour into other people. And so I want to
(37:36):
really try to bring out the best in others. I
want my legacy to be his legacy continued. His last
name was good g oo d And I just it's
so emotional for me because you know, for me, I
didn't know anybody better and he was so good and
(37:58):
So if I can and live up to even a
little piece of that, I'm carrying it on. And the
kids are watching, the next generation's watching, and I want
to be a light. I really want to shine a
light and be positive and let people know that they're
(38:21):
still in charge of what direction that they're going. And
we all kind have aches and pains and we can
have bad days, but try to shine a little bit
of light into others on a daily basis.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
What a great story and what a nice name to
have be an influence on that. But Mary, when you
have moments, You've raised children, you've taken care of pop,
You've bring life into these calls every morning and everyone
looks up to you. So what do you do to
energize yourself? How do you give yourself a little break
(38:55):
when you need to be when you need to have
a break for yourself, what do you do? How do
you charge yourself?
Speaker 2 (39:01):
Sure? I love yoga. I've been you know, I went
through menopause, so I have that inflammation. You know, my
body feels tight, and I'm trying to practice what I preach. Right,
I tell everybody else to get out and walk, So
I really try to get to the gym as often
as I can. I really love that quiet time with yoga.
(39:23):
I love traveling. All of our children are at least
in college. They're not completely out of college, but we
are empty nesters at home right now, and so my
husband and I love to travel and to just experience
new things. My daughter and I are going to start
and we both rode as children for many, many years,
(39:46):
but we are starting horseback riding next week. I'll both
my twenty five year old and I are going to
on Monday's ride again because we have a big trip
next year that we're taking and we're going to do
some riding in Ireland and so we're going to get
back in the saddle literally. So yeah, I'm so looking
(40:08):
forward to that and just having that private time with
my adult daughter and being able to pour a little
bit into her as well.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
How fun? How fun? What would you like your legacy
to People call you driven, they say you're compassionate, your
heart centered? What one feels the truest to you? And why?
What would you like people to think of you twenty
years from now?
Speaker 2 (40:36):
Kind? Kind? I want my heart. I want them to
remember my heart right, just my heart. I mean, I'd
like them to think I was funny. I like to
think I'm funny on occasion, so that's probably number two.
But heart centered first, and then maybe that I had
(40:56):
a way of being silly on occasion.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
I think you meet all those things just fine, just fine,
but you have a new adventure. And over the last
maybe twelve to sixteen months, you became the chapter of
the chair of the National Aging and Place Council Chapter
of Greater Baltimore. Yeah, and helping to shape all the
community supports aging, how they see aging and what changes
(41:25):
or innovations have you do you hope for right now?
What do you hope that you'll be able to bring
to your community?
Speaker 2 (41:32):
What an absolute honor and privilege. This was just such
an amazing you know that we talked about door that
opened or something that we had stumbled on. My community
I felt was so in need and so hungry for education.
Born and raised, had a pop that took you know,
(41:54):
needed some help, and I didn't know what resources were
out there. And for me here vocally, there's this divide
of those in the medical community. And of course if
you google, if you search, I think that you will
find those answers. It wasn't something that was in my
vision on a regular basis, so that I could store
(42:17):
it and then grab it when needed. That's really what
I feel. Our mission here locally is educating and advocating
in our community. We have fun seminars. We are not
saying you've done it wrong for decades, shame on you.
We are saying there is no time like the present
(42:39):
to make a move for the better right, whatever that is,
an exercise, move, a change in grocery shopping, whatever that is.
We've been blessed with so many wonderful speakers. Our chapter
is just has been brought just the top most dynamic
senior serving folks in our community, and I just can't
(42:59):
wait to continue to see where that goes. Recently, we've
made a connection with not only our local Department of
Aging is going to funnel our speakers through their platforms,
but also our local library. So in twenty twenty six,
we are going to touch so many lives here on
(43:21):
all things positive aging and longevity.
Speaker 1 (43:27):
So in your chapter, are you reaching out to the
community or just other professionals?
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Now, Well, we're trying to grow the chapter with like
minded professionals, But our goal here is educating the community anyway,
that we can, whether that be in person. We also
have some things online with webinars. We do not only
social events, but we do topics such as right senior
(43:53):
scams with the State's Attorney's Office. We've had you had
one of your guests Inlitor's doctor David the keeping your Marbles.
That was one of our largest attended seminars. He's dynamic, right, yes, yes.
And then we had functional medicine doctors. So we are
really just so excited to get our twenty twenty sixth calendar.
(44:18):
We are actually meeting next week to really figure out
what areas for us. One of them that's a hot
topic or accessory dwelling units, And I know that's big
in California, but for here, we are a little slow
on the East Coast in getting that up and running,
and we have such a housing shortage. It's needed, and
this is going to offer an opportunity for caregivers. So
(44:41):
maybe if somebody wants to stay in their primary care
primary home, they can put an ADU for a caregiver.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
And I think that that's one of the most underused
and overlooked real estate opportunities actually, and I think that
there's so much more that can be done with that.
And you're right, it's a big thing here right now.
We're just now being able to use it and need
to do it more. So, if you could wave one
(45:09):
thing Mary, either nationally or locally, about how we approach
aging caregiving or housing, what would it be?
Speaker 2 (45:20):
Wow, If I could wave one thing, I'm waving a wander,
I'm getting rid of something.
Speaker 1 (45:27):
Well, let's say if you could wave a magic wand
and change one thing about how we approach aging caregiving
or housing, and maybe one thing for each of those categories. Yes,
encompasses a lot.
Speaker 2 (45:40):
The first thing that really jumps out at me is
I want to get back with young folks really honoring
and getting the stories from the seniors. We have such
a wealth of knowledge that are sitting wanting to share
their stories, and I wish we could get back I hope,
I don't wish. I'm hoping to be part of initiative
(46:04):
to make sure that we record these volumes of treasures
that are in folks' minds and really get young folks
to work with the older folks, get that respect, that
generational living back together, going back to where grandchildren took
care of grandma's more right. Also not being worried about
(46:29):
laugh lines and like trying to get away from that
a little bit. And I think it's coming right. You
and I have been part of some of this, you know,
be proud of your age campaigns and things that we
are proud, right, We've lived, the lives, we've had the experiences.
We should be celebrating the years and not trying to
(46:51):
erase those lines and those memories. So that's what I
think mentality wise. As far as housing, certainly here locally,
I wish that we could get builders to make more affordable,
accessible homes in my area. It's so much cheaper. And
(47:12):
I know that this is nationally to build up than
it is to build across, but we really need more
housing where folks of any age can have first floor living.
You never know when a car accident or when somebody's
going to break their leg. It isn't even an aging thing,
it's an anybody thing, and we need more of it.
Speaker 1 (47:36):
That's true, even even a den downstairs, so if someone
needed to have a separate place with you, not even
if it wasn't a full bedroom. Sure, yeah, that's true.
And what about what about caregiving? Do you caregiving so much.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
I wish we maybe could have a co op or
something where people could right help one another. Get back
to that. I think we've gotten to this place where
we're afraid and there are some bad eggs out there
that have taken advantage of people, and so to me,
there has to be a better way. The current caregiving scenario.
(48:20):
It's hard on that Sandwich generation. It's hard on those
folks that are doing it all themselves and yet to
hire or to get help at communities is a lot
of times just something that's not affordable. So we have
to come up with better options, better education for folks,
(48:41):
and you make it so that our communities come together
and maybe it's you know, there's four or five people
that need help, and maybe we get them together and
like a co op. Just a thought.
Speaker 1 (48:56):
Yep, Yeah, we've talked about that, haven't we. People coexist
and live together in some form, share a kitchen or
or something, because you don't really need parking so much
at that stage, right right, Yeah, living situations.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
You have.
Speaker 1 (49:15):
What surprised you the most on your journey about people aging,
or maybe even about.
Speaker 2 (49:21):
Yourself, how fulfilling their relationships have been, How fulfilling when
a lot of times these journeys, where historically I would
get a call when someone was looking to move in
the next thirty days or sell their house in the
(49:41):
next thirty days. I'm now starting these conversations two years
out ye, and it's it's it's been I'm not sure
if I'm trying to fill a void and maybe you know,
just adopt every grandparent out there because mine are not
(50:04):
here on earth anymore. But that's been such an absolute honor.
I was talking to one a daughter the other day, who's,
you know, having some things with mom living there, and
I said, I'm just gonna pick her up and take
her with me. I have a thing going on over here.
I'm gonna be teaching at this one. I'm just gonna
(50:25):
swing by, grab mom, take her with me. Right. We
used to do that with kids with neighbor's kids. We'd
have our kid and the neighbor next door would say, oh,
I gotta go somewhere, give me your kid. I already
got one. I'll put another one in the car, right,
I could put your mom. You know, it's socialization and like,
don't be alone, you can come with me. A lot
(50:47):
of what I'm doing, I'd like a co pilot in
the car. And so that's been so rewarding. Now full disclosure,
I can only have two or three conversations with my
clients a day. Years before I might have been hitting
out ten. They're longer, But why are they more meaningful?
And I know I'm changing people's lives. I know it
(51:09):
down to my core. I'm changing their days, and I'm
making them happy, and I'm getting them an opportunity to
tell me how they're doing. And I am very thankful
for that. I do not take that for granted.
Speaker 1 (51:24):
You know what, You're right, What a great idea to say,
just grab something I did that, stay with my mom?
You know I had to go someplace. I'll come by
and pick you up. Yeah, So what a great idea
to do that with our neighbors and with other people
that we know, especially with our friends, kind of change
parents with each other. Right, if you're speaking today to
somebody who's going through what you were going through, entering
(51:46):
their next chapter, whether they're a caregiver, or they're the
adult child of an aging parent, or they're an aging
adult not knowing what to do, what message of hope
would you give to them?
Speaker 2 (52:00):
You can't see it today. But it's going to be rewarding.
Act out from your heart. You're going to do the
best you can. Take a break, raise your hand when
you need help. You are not superwoman, right, A lot
of people might think that you're superwoman. But even Superwoman
needed a little bit of time right in her telephone booth.
(52:21):
She wasn't with people all the time. And so remember
that cup feed into it. This November is National Family
Caregivers Month, and here locally, we are showering those caregivers
and we are making sure that we connect with them,
encouraging them to tell their stories, encouraging to reach out
(52:42):
and to help one another and share experiences. And I
think that is a beautiful thing because when you talk
about your needs, your needs get answered, you get opportunities,
you get resources. Just raise your hand and say you
need help. Everybody will be better for it.
Speaker 1 (53:02):
Absolutely. Absolutely, Mary has been a pleasure having you, and
to all of those who are watching and listening, thank
you for joining us for this heart to heart conversation
with the amazing and wonderful Mary Lynch. If Mary's story
touched you or reminded you of someone you love, I
hope that you'll take a moment today to reach out,
to say thank you, to check in with a neighbor
(53:23):
or someone else that you know, and simply to share
a memory. Those small acts of connection are what keep
our hearts open. Be sure to join us again next
week and we'll be sitting down with another remarkable guest,
someone whose story will inspire you to see life, love,
and home in a whole new way. Until then, I'm
Valerie vans Over reminding you that it is possible in
(53:45):
your next move and love life. Aren't purpose to be
Always Ageless. Be sure to reach out to us if
you are a loved one needs resources, doesn't know where
to go or who to call, and you have a
situation you're not quite sure how to handle. We have
a network like Mary all across the country, and Mary's
on the East Coast. If you've got a mom in
the East Coast, Mary can take care of you so
(54:06):
you can live your life by design and by choice.
Thank you for being with us, Thank you Mary Lynch
very much for being with us on Always Ageless today.
Speaker 2 (54:16):
Thank you so much. Valerie
There are people in this world who just seem to
shine a little brighter, not because life has been easy
for them, but because they've chosen to meet it with purpose, compassion,
and heart. These are the people who turn life's hardest
moments into lessons of grace, who find meaning in the
(00:20):
mess and beauty in the burden. My guest today is
one of those people. Her name is Mary Lynch, and
if you know her, you know that her energy fills
every room she walks into. She's a senior home coach,
a realtor, a certified Senior advisor, a speaker, the chair
(00:42):
of the National Aging and Placed Council Greater Baltimore Area,
and more recently, she is an author. But more than
all of that, Mary is someone who sees people, not
just their homes or their challenges, but their stories and
their hearts. Her mission is simple, but it's profound, to
(01:04):
help others make their next move by choice, not by circumstance. Recently,
Mary shared a deeply personal story in chapter one of
the Aging in Place Conversations book Caregiver Edition, which just
came out on Amazon. It's a heartwarming story about love, loss,
(01:29):
and the bond she shared with her grandfather, a chapter
that has touched so many of us because it's not
just about caregiving. It's about the love that shapes who
we become. And I encourage you to read it, and
I encourage you to have a box of Kleenex close by,
and how unexpected challenges inspire us and how we treat
(01:49):
others with dignity, love and respect. Today, we're going to
explore that story and the woman behind it, her calling
her faith in peace people, and the spark that keeps
her heart wide open even in a world that rushes
past us, when some things don't truly even matter. Mary Lynch, Welcome.
(02:12):
I am so thrilled to share this heart to heart
with you. Thank you for being with us.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Valerie, my friend, what an honor to be here, and
thank you for that beautiful introduction. I am so blessed
to have you in my life and to share this
journey and this calls with you. And I couldn't be
more thrilled to be here today with you.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Certainly our pleasure, and certainly you're a spark of your
force of nature, You're a spark of life, You're an
amazing person, and it's just such a pleasure to have
you here on, always ageless to share our stories and
all the things that brought us together and all the
things that have made you the amazing person that you are.
(02:57):
Let's start with the heart behind this story. Yeah, your
chapter in the Caregiver edition begins with your grandfather. Can
you take us back to that time? What do you
remember most vividly about those days together? And I saw
recently a post on social media where you were in
a boat with him, just ra on the river or
(03:17):
the bay, whichever it was.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Sure, so I haven't shared this with really anybody publicly,
but my grandpa was really more like a father figure
for me. The story behind this was he was married
to my grandma, of course, and she had dementia for
ten years prior to his illness, and as typical with caregivers,
he really put himself on the back burner while he
(03:42):
was taking care of my grandmother. I you know, didn't
really know the signs of caregiver fatigue and stress at
the time. I was raising little kids, and he was
so proud and refused help. Right. He really felt like
for better or for worse was his you know, job, right,
and so he was not going to leave. He didn't
(04:05):
ask for help, and he really, like I said, put
his own health on the back burner. So when she
passed away, I really felt in some ways that we
had my grandpa back yet back for the first time, right,
because he was able to come and spend time with
us and leave the house. And so we really took
(04:27):
him on a bit of a one year all adventure.
He had never been to we have a new relatively
new you know, in his eighty four years of life,
baseball stadium were the Baltimore Orioles, So he had never
been there, and I was able to take him there.
He had never been to a Ravens game, you know,
back when I was growing up as the Baltimore Cults.
(04:48):
We took him there. We even took him on a
cruise where he ziplined across the Caribbean and it was
so much fun. Unfortunately, we came back and he had
received a diagnosi that I think in the back of
his head he knew something was wrong, but for years
he just kept pushing through and did not go to
(05:09):
the doctor to get checked out. So he ended up
with colon cancer and it moved fast and aggressive. And
so the chapter really begins with him coming to my
house where I had two high schoolers. I was single
and divorced at the time. I was the primary caregiver
for my children. And hear, this man that I loved
(05:31):
more than life needed us. And that's where the story
begins in the book. It was the middle of the
night and I was woken up by my grandfather in distress.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
And how did your boys cope with being in a
multi gen housing arrangement?
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Yeah, so I have a boy and a girl, and
you know they really truly this was our pop, right,
this was our number one guy. This guy didn't ever
come about anything. Every time we saw Pop, he had
the biggest hugs. He was happy to see us no
matter what was going on in his life. You know,
it was all about us and happiness and really just
(06:12):
being the best day that we could have or the
best versions of ourselves. So Pop never complained. So really, truly,
my kids we honored that ability to have him in
the home. Unfortunately, and you know this all too well,
our space was not welcoming for anyone with accessibility needs.
(06:34):
Right here, I was thirty years at the time, I
was twenty five years in the business of selling homes. Right, really,
priding myself on the American dream and having no idea
that my grandfather's house of fifty plus years and my
home were not really places to age successfully.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
So there we were, well, what did care caregiving really
teach you about love? I know the answers to some
of this about love, patience, and what it truly means
to be present for another human being. Now, as a mom,
of course we know that, right, we know some of it.
It's not the same as caregiving and taking care of
(07:17):
someone who's not your own child.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Sure, And you know, Valerie, the crazy piece of this
is is I didn't realize that it taught me anything
until I had the opportunity to journal and revisit it
and actually write this part of the book. Right. I
really I feel like I understood the stress that people
were under. I understood the burden of caregiving. I didn't
(07:41):
understand the blessings of it, right, And so I think
your question was what did caregiving really teach me? What
it really taught me is that very few people are
ready for it right. Not their houses aren't ready. They
don't really know the options that are out there right
in our community about respite, about home care, about who
(08:05):
you can allow into your house. Heck, with technology now
about all of the ways that you can keep an
eye on things at home, right, have that extra level
of safety, even down to knowing that I had options
when it was time for a hospice company, I had
no clue. So when we were in the trenches, right,
(08:29):
I didn't know anything and I was calling out and
really didn't wasn't able to find a one stop resource
to be able to give me those options, sadly.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
And that's what's brought many of us to this position.
Sure we all have our story right where everything was
fine until the call comes, whatever call that is, right.
I mean, I've had one, You've had one. So many
people that we know have had one, the families we serve,
and all of a sudden you're in that position. And
I've found and I've heard again with the people that
(09:01):
we've worked with, Mary, is it one of the hardest parts,
really is the uncertainty. You don't know what's coming, you
don't know how to handle it because is this a
one time thing? Because we don't know, right, we don't
know what that sickness means, we don't know what that
physical condition means. We don't know how much money we're
going to need do we Is it going to cost
us everything we've got to put them in a sisted
(09:22):
living do we don't have to? So I think that
uncertainty is a big problem with caregiving.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
With that uncertainty and fear, is right Valerie, Like with
kids and picking colleges, right, if they pick the wrong one,
they have an opportunity to go somewhere else or take
another turn. Unfortunately, a lot of times in these caregiving situations,
we have one shot, we have one opportunity, right, and
(09:52):
when this person means the world to you, the added
stress of not messing it up, not hurting them, not
causing more pain than good, right, just not knowing. So
that I think is a big fear while you're in
the trenches of trying to hold it all together, usually
(10:13):
sleep deprived. Right, That's where the constant questioning of is
my home the right place? You see? I know there
are other options, there are places that people that maybe
it doesn't work, no judgment, but not everyone wants to
(10:35):
take the caregiver in For multitude of reasons. For me
and my family, that wasn't an option, right. My grandpa
was going to we were going to do it together
until the final breath. No matter what it took. There
wasn't a plan B for us. Doesn't mean that other
(10:55):
people can't have options.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Was there a moment when you realize this experience is
changing the course of my life?
Speaker 2 (11:06):
That came later, I mean during the you know, caregiving,
we had so many wonderful honors. The Veterans' Association came
in and pins my grandpa on both of my children.
Now my children, remember are his great grandchildren, right, so
they were able to come home from school every day
they had popped there. They were able to see and
(11:30):
to hang out and love on him until the final
final breath. And so you know, at the time, right
at the time, we were learning and loving, and that's
all we really had to offer is we knew how
to love. It wasn't really taking that reflection. And so
(11:54):
during my pop's caregiving, I was moving, I had fallen
in love. I was getting ready to blend a family.
I had, my daughter was graduating high school. There were
all of these moving parts that Pop was just sort
of along for the ride of our life, right, And
so when he passed, we're still busy. We still have kids,
(12:16):
they're going off to college and stuff's happening, And that's
where the beauty is of just taking the time. And
if anybody's been through a caregiving experience, do not underestimate
the value of locking yourself into a quiet room and
taking the time to journal and to remember the experiences
(12:39):
and the memories. Because while we're in it, we're worried
about the next meal, right, who's going to eat? Are
we late for an appointment? What's going to happen? Is
there going to be a fall? You know, what's going on.
When's the caregiver coming, when's this person coming for blood pressure? Right?
But when you can step away from that and have
a bird's eye view of your caregiving experience, that's when
(13:04):
all the beauty and the love comes out.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Yeah, but that's good advice. I don't journal, and my
situation is a little bit different. So when he came
to live with you, he was already sick.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Yes, he really wanted his independence, and so he had
started the treatment for his cancer from his house. He
would spend a lot of time with us, but he
really wanted to go back to that home that he
loved and he cherished. Right, And we hear this so
often and so it wasn't until he really started having
(13:43):
negative effects of that last bout where I went to
his house and realized he was struggling with a multitude
of things. And you know, again, fifties Baltimore row home
right up a flight of star to get to a
full bathroom, right, not agent place friendly at all. And
(14:06):
so it was that day again, no planning, completely ill prepared.
We're going to grab a bag and you're coming with me, right,
And so that's what happened. We got a hospital bed
wedged in the corner of my dining room and that
turned into his makeshift spot.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
And so many times we hear stories that that's where
they end up, right in the dining room, in a
hospital bed. And we try to make it as comfortable
and pleasant as we can for everybody involved, the family
as well as as our older loved one. Sure pertainly difficult,
and so many caregivers Mary, we know, feel exhausted or
(14:48):
just invisible, like nobody appreciates them. And what would you
say to someone who's right in the middle of that journey,
feeling torn between love and burnout, just like you're you know,
we know you of them, but you're so tired and
is it ever going to end? And what would you
say to them?
Speaker 2 (15:08):
The number one I would think I would say is
imagine you're in a plane and you get the oxygen
mask to yourself. First, you have got to take care
of yourself. You know, this is in honor of my grandpa,
who took care of somebody, but he was the caregiver
that ended up hurting himself in the long run right
(15:29):
by not prioritizing his own health. So, while I had
all of these things going on, luckily we had a
wonderful hospice company here locally. It was the second one.
The first one was a mess. Second one that we
went to was lovely. And there were a couple of occasions.
I believe it was two different times where we were
(15:50):
able to get a respite break right because I still
had young folks that had things that needed to get accomplished, right,
There were vacations planned. Obviously I would have loved for
him to join us, but it got to the point
where he wasn't able. Once we knew there wasn't anything
(16:10):
crisis mode, right, he was stable, he wasn't going to
pass in our absence. We were able to take advantage
of some of that care. So you know, fast forward,
being part as you are of the National Aging and
Police Council, I formed so many relationship with so many
wonderful home care companies, right, And it really is take
(16:33):
some time. Make sure that you are pouring into your picture,
because we know you can't pour from an empty cup.
And you have to take care of your own health.
Don't miss those appointments, you know, take care of yourself,
eating right, sleeping right, all of those things. That's the
(16:54):
number one. And don't be hard on yourself, right.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Love. Yeah, and the guilt, you know, the one trip
we go on is our guilt trip, right, the guilty
more right, we should be doing more. And I still
feel like I should have been with my dad when
he passed away. I knew he was going to pass
away that week, and we did morn death or tried
(17:18):
to prepare us. I should say, yeah, And I always
will feel like I should have been there. I should
have stayed there all day, not knowing. Of course, that
was the day only God knew. And so we all
have those those moments of guilt and all the things
that are It's interesting when my dad was sick, I
wanted to bring him home from the care community where
(17:39):
he was in for Christmas, And I asked the doctor,
can I bring him home? And the doctor said something
interesting to me at the time. Now I understand it,
but the doctor said, if you bring him home, Valerie,
you're doing it for you, not for him, and you're
going to end up in the coffin before he is,
or right next to him. And I thought, well, that's
kind of mean. But now we understand and right that
(18:01):
caregiving is a challenge and we're supposed to take care
of ourselves. But I honestly thought I was doing it
for my dad. But and it didn't matter much because
he wasn't with us much longer after that anyway, But
we do have to take care of ourselves and think
of those things.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
I hadn't heard that before. That's really profound, it is.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Yeah, I hadn't either, and I thought that. I thought
he was pretty mean. So of course I brought my
dad home anyway for Christmas. Why why wouldn't I? What
does the doctor know? Right? How's he know I'm gonna
be that that's gonna happen to me?
Speaker 3 (18:33):
But now, of course, now marry you and I work
with older adults in these kind of situations, we do know. Yeah,
when you're writing something this personal, though, it can be
must be very painful. So were there moments when you
just found yourself fighting back the tears and the healing
And how was it writing this about this chapter about
(18:54):
your journey with your pop.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
So I don't even have the book yet, Valerie, right
there was just really released, and I ordered a case
of them. I think maybe I should have ordered one,
because then I would have probably gotten it, But I
ordered like a case and I don't have it. So I,
you know, I went through the transcript, you know, just
to refresh, right, because I wrote so many versions of
(19:20):
it and I kept thinking, oh, that's too much, or
you know, don't share that part. I tried to make
it more of a universal or pull the items that
were more of a universal story. But gosh, every time
I read it, I cry my eyes out. I didn't
really realize when I had raised my hand to be
(19:42):
considered for writing a piece, I was really going to
write something from the real estate world, right, like more
from housing. And there's a little bit of that weaved in,
just because both his house and my house were not prepared.
And I think back and you mentioned on the guilt,
(20:03):
But I think back, you know why didn't I know why?
You know, like, how does this man who served in
the military and now he's in his boxer shorts in
the dining room, like no privacy? Right, Like he deserved
better than that. But you know what, he had love
and that was a good thing.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Right.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Love beats privacy any day of the week. But in
a perfect world, perfect right, if I could have waived
my magic wand I would have had a room in
a bathroom for him to have a little bit more
privacy and dignity. But it was so emotional in such
a beautiful, beautiful way for me, and I never in
(20:43):
a million years realized that it could turn into a
little bit of a legacy piece for my family by
naming him, by putting his name in there, something that
no one can ever take away, right if they want
to look for him, if they want to google, right, Like,
(21:04):
there's going to be that piece that's going to outlive me.
And I'm I'm really eternally grateful for the opportunity and
just so so proud to be his only grandchild and
to be able to share that the story of.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Pop and that you had the and that you had
the ability to make a judgment in advance and bring
him home with you, right, not knowing exactly how long
he would be with you, exactly that this would this
part of your life would change everything. But you chose
(21:49):
to bring him home with you, not knowing what that
would really mean to you.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
Yeah, that was never you know, some of that maybe
was meeting naive because in the book I explained, you know,
when he was delusional and he was combative, and you know,
not coming from medical background at all, I knew a
little bit that my grandma had some UTIs. I really
didn't even think that that was a man thing, you know,
(22:16):
And that's again me just not knowing. And so the night,
you know, the book starts of me waking up in
the middle of the night, man flailing and screaming, and
it was scary. It was scary, you know, I didn't
know if I was going to be hurt. And this
man would never had he had his mind right at
the time, he would never have laid a finger on me.
(22:41):
So I think maybe some of it was the Good Lord.
Maybe it so that I could handle right, Like I
give a lot of it to Jesus and say that
he wasn't going to give me more. He knew what
this meant to me and to my heart and to
my family and our legacy, and that we really wanted
(23:04):
to honor this. And for us, it was a personal
decision that we were going to see this through and
he was going to equit me, right, God was going
to prepare me and equit me so that I was
going to be able to follow through with us.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
And and he did, and he did. Amen, And look
at how he brought you through, that allowed you to
cross the river and brought you through, And now look
at what you've brought to other people because of your
own journey. And that's pretty amazing. That's pretty impressive. Let's
talk about your your life, your big life. You you're
(23:41):
a realtor, you're a senior home coach, you're a certified
senior advisor. When you speak, it feels like a calling,
not a career. How did that calling first find you?
Speaker 2 (23:56):
There was you know, as I you know, I lost
my grandpa and my kids were off at college, and
you know, twenty twenty came and the world just felt
a little different. And I had been surrounding myself with
real estate agents because it's what I've known for twenty
(24:16):
five years at the time, right, and I craved more.
I felt a calling. I felt that as much as
this industry as a single mom allowed me to provide
for my kids in ways that I don't believe another
industry would have been able to provide. So I am appreciative.
(24:40):
But twenty five years and the heart, the soul, the mission,
the hunger for wanting a little bit more, and how
I was going to I don't know, find my meeting.
My husband's in insurance, and I really thought, you know what,
maybe it's just time that I passed this baton and
(25:01):
I say, thank you real Estate, You've been good, but
maybe I can help another business thrive. And then it
was one of those just perfect kind of pieces. I
don't even know how I found the senior home coach, folks.
I had my through real estate, and as you know,
through National Association of Realtors, there's a course. I would say,
(25:23):
it's a you know you, so you want to start
talking to seniors about real estate. This is sort of
the Senior real Estate Seniors Real Estate Institute. I is
that what it's called?
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Specialist?
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Yes? Okay, so Sris did that years ago and sort
of dusted off my book, and then I stumbled upon
the Senior Home Coach folks, and from that started talking
about Alzheimer's and functional medicine and thriving and then realizing
that I wanted to do the things that people were
(25:59):
talking about, meaning like challenge my own intellect and learn
more things. And you know, if you're in real estate,
there's very few changes that come along each year that
really challenge you. There might be specific clients and scenarios, right,
but the hunger of wanting something new was not there
(26:20):
for me. And so when I started to learn that
not only learning new things would help me cognitively right,
have me stay sharper longer, I just wanted to learn
learn learn about good health, about treating my body better,
(26:41):
and about right ageless, right longevity, right what that means.
And so I met you, you know, and then one
door just it seemed like the one door opened, and
then it's just been doors opening ever since.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
It has been.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
It has.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
But I believe in your case and the case of
many of the people in our group, probably almost everybody
in our group, that the doors are there, and some
people like you have taken hold of the door handle
and opened it. And sure, it's amazing that that has
allowed so many of us to have this opportunity, but
(27:22):
you took it, and you've done so much with it,
and I would say probably it's really brought a lot
to your life as well as what you brought to
other people.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
It's been so rewarding. I spoke at a center this
past Monday, I guess that was just two days ago,
and I met an eighty seven year old who was
a female race car driver her whole life. I'm fascinated
by the folks that I am meeting. And so I'm
born and bred here, right, I'm Baltimore my whole life.
I went to school here and never left. And we
(27:56):
get used to hanging out with the people that we've
always hung out with, right, And so for me meeting
so many new people at such a rapid pace, and
so having the opportunity and the blessing and what an
honor to speak in front of people and to educate
my community on some things that I've learned through this
(28:18):
process and then have them come up to me and
then feedback into them as well real life friends.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
So I think things have also changed in life right
were ten years ago, we weren't thinking about this aging
and place thing. Right, We weren't, And now we become
aware of the fact that more of us are living longer,
and now it's a thing, right, and it's a reality.
The population has changed, the world has changed, and we
(28:46):
become more aware of it. Our parents are living longer,
many of us and or loved ones, and it's become
something that's that we become aware of, and some of
us have have become interested in it and found that
our passion. I grew up wanting to be a nurse,
So this is kind of the nurse that I never
that I never was. A lot of people think, Mary,
(29:07):
that aging in place just me ramps and grab bars, right,
that's what they think. So you've seen something much deeper
about dignity, connection and choice. How do you explain that
to families? How do you get them to understand.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
That what I like, the whole concept of aging in
place for me is your choice, your decision, you deciding
where you're going to sleep, right, what that's going to
look like. And so it's not just the house, it's
not just the building, it's the people, it's the support system,
(29:45):
it's the education, it's the medicine, it's the transportation. Right,
it's all of those things together, and you know, back
to your uh, you know, the generational stuff is in Baltimore.
Here California is a little bit newer housing. But in Baltimore,
our houses are old, right, and so a house that
(30:07):
was built in the nineteen hundred, it's was people weren't
living past forty for gosh sakes, right, and so of
course they weren't made for eight living, you know, living older.
And my Girdhau's house, the nineteen fifties house. You know,
even then, life expectancy was like fifteen years shorter than
it is now. So it's having that conversation of you
(30:35):
can absolutely be in charge of your decision and where
you want to age if you start being proactive.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Yes, and I think you have a slogan your motto
is helping you make your move by choice, not by circumstance,
which is really powerful. What inspired that phrase and how
does that guide your work every day?
Speaker 2 (31:00):
There have been clients or children of folks that have
called me too late, just too late, right, They thought, oh,
you know, I think a condo would have been nice,
but at this point, they then need assistance, right, They
need somebody else to help them. So the goal is
(31:21):
really to get people to start thinking sooner over later. Right.
And so so many that have made the decision, what
do we hear all the time? Right, I wish I
would have done this years ago.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Right.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
Whatever decision that they make, whatever it is, whatever their
thought process, whether it's moving into a you know, an
in law suite in somebody in their children's house, that's
a thing, right, get to see the grandkids on a
regular basis, Whether they decide that an aging community is
better for them. I had folks recently that had a huge,
(31:58):
beautiful custom rancher that they had built with the absolute
purpose of aging and staying in and it turned out
to be way too big and way too expensive to maintain.
So sometimes what we think is the right answer. And
I'm so proud of them for pivoting getting a villa.
(32:19):
They are thrilled, They are absolutely thrilled. All mister Bill
wanted was to be able to have bird feeders on
the deck and he got it at the villa. And
you know what, they have a third of the house
to clean. So it's just having that conversation and trying
to identify ahead of time, what does what does the
final quarter of my life look like? How do I
(32:43):
want that to look And do I want to really
be proactive in making those decisions or do I want
to wait for something and have someone else make those
choices for me.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
And of course the answer is they want to make
their own decisions. I would say, so I still want
to put it off because they don't want to have
to deal with it right now, both the families and
the older the older parents or loved ones. What's a
moment in your work that you can tell us about
when you were with someone, maybe a hug or a
thank You're a story when it makes you pause and say,
(33:15):
this is why I do this?
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Yeah, I have a in my neighborhood. So I moved
twenty twenty COVID into a neighborhood and it's I'm most
of these folks are original owners and have been here
fifty years. And one thing led to another and one
(33:37):
of my neighbors needed to sell. This was just they
ended up closing like in August, so it's been fairly
recent and she raised kids, she raised grandkids. Her husband
passed away here. He had a business here. You know,
this was everything, and it was so emotional for her.
Now even though she was moving in with family and
(33:59):
looking forward to that, it was still just such an
emotional process for her. So I don't even know where
I saw an idea, but there was a really large
greeting card that I found. It was probably two foot
tall greeting card that I found on Amazon, and I
went door to door and got the neighbors to sign
(34:23):
and write a story that they remembered from the last
fifty years. Like I said, they're all still original homeowners,
so they've been with this. Imagine that. Imagine having a
neighbor for fifty years. You don't really see that so much,
you know, anymore. People are so transient and moving along.
(34:44):
And so she opened it, and in hindsight, maybe I
should have given it to her by herself, you know,
after closing. But I gave it to her its settlement.
You know, a lot of us give the little watercolors
of the house, and she loved that, and she teared
up a little bit. But it was reliving memories from
(35:06):
forty five years ago at the bus stop that neighbors
had written to her. That just she was crying I
was crying. The buyer who now knows what kind of
neighborhood they're moving in, was crying, right, we were just
all It was just such a powerful moment for me
(35:30):
to remember that this is not transactional, right, This is relationships,
This is memories. This is so much more than passing
a key across the table.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Oh absolutely, And especially when you're dealing with people like
you said, you've been in their homes that long, and
who built these relationships, and they've raised their families and
seen each other's kids grow up and the grandkids come back.
It's very emotional, very emotional. And we talk about this
in our group, two people downsize and decluttering and moving.
(36:08):
And what a great idea for you to do that card,
How fun, What a great idea. I'll have to think that,
think of that. You have to share that with people.
Mary you let's talk about Mary Lynch, the woman mission
you are not for your bright energy, your amazing kind heart.
I've seen you even recently do things with and for people.
(36:31):
That is just such a sign of kindness and passionate heart,
just beyond belief. Even where does all that come from?
Where is your motivation? Your radiant personality, your drive to
keep going, and not only for you and your clients,
but for your colleagues, what you do for other people
(36:52):
who you work with and who you know.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
I want to be more like my pop. My pop
would talk to everybody. My pop would talk to everybody
at the grocery store. And right after he passed, I
started talking to people at the grocery store and they
thought I was crazy, you know, they were like, I
was like, oh, you need ma anaise or what you know?
And you know, people are funny. There was just something
about my path where people everybody he spoke to. And
(37:16):
I'm not sure if that's an age thing, and it'll
get easier as I age and people will be more
willing to have that conversation. But as I started this
with my pop, no matter what kind of day he
was having or what he was going through, he wanted
to pour into other people. And so I want to
(37:36):
really try to bring out the best in others. I
want my legacy to be his legacy continued. His last
name was good g oo d And I just it's
so emotional for me because you know, for me, I
didn't know anybody better and he was so good and
(37:58):
So if I can and live up to even a
little piece of that, I'm carrying it on. And the
kids are watching, the next generation's watching, and I want
to be a light. I really want to shine a
light and be positive and let people know that they're
(38:21):
still in charge of what direction that they're going. And
we all kind have aches and pains and we can
have bad days, but try to shine a little bit
of light into others on a daily basis.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
What a great story and what a nice name to
have be an influence on that. But Mary, when you
have moments, You've raised children, you've taken care of pop,
You've bring life into these calls every morning and everyone
looks up to you. So what do you do to
energize yourself? How do you give yourself a little break
(38:55):
when you need to be when you need to have
a break for yourself, what do you do? How do
you charge yourself?
Speaker 2 (39:01):
Sure? I love yoga. I've been you know, I went
through menopause, so I have that inflammation. You know, my
body feels tight, and I'm trying to practice what I preach. Right,
I tell everybody else to get out and walk, So
I really try to get to the gym as often
as I can. I really love that quiet time with yoga.
(39:23):
I love traveling. All of our children are at least
in college. They're not completely out of college, but we
are empty nesters at home right now, and so my
husband and I love to travel and to just experience
new things. My daughter and I are going to start
and we both rode as children for many, many years,
(39:46):
but we are starting horseback riding next week. I'll both
my twenty five year old and I are going to
on Monday's ride again because we have a big trip
next year that we're taking and we're going to do
some riding in Ireland and so we're going to get
back in the saddle literally. So yeah, I'm so looking
(40:08):
forward to that and just having that private time with
my adult daughter and being able to pour a little
bit into her as well.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
How fun? How fun? What would you like your legacy
to People call you driven, they say you're compassionate, your
heart centered? What one feels the truest to you? And why?
What would you like people to think of you twenty
years from now?
Speaker 2 (40:36):
Kind? Kind? I want my heart. I want them to
remember my heart right, just my heart. I mean, I'd
like them to think I was funny. I like to
think I'm funny on occasion, so that's probably number two.
But heart centered first, and then maybe that I had
(40:56):
a way of being silly on occasion.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
I think you meet all those things just fine, just fine,
but you have a new adventure. And over the last
maybe twelve to sixteen months, you became the chapter of
the chair of the National Aging and Place Council Chapter
of Greater Baltimore. Yeah, and helping to shape all the
community supports aging, how they see aging and what changes
(41:25):
or innovations have you do you hope for right now?
What do you hope that you'll be able to bring
to your community?
Speaker 2 (41:32):
What an absolute honor and privilege. This was just such
an amazing you know that we talked about door that
opened or something that we had stumbled on. My community
I felt was so in need and so hungry for education.
Born and raised, had a pop that took you know,
(41:54):
needed some help, and I didn't know what resources were
out there. And for me here vocally, there's this divide
of those in the medical community. And of course if
you google, if you search, I think that you will
find those answers. It wasn't something that was in my
vision on a regular basis, so that I could store
(42:17):
it and then grab it when needed. That's really what
I feel. Our mission here locally is educating and advocating
in our community. We have fun seminars. We are not
saying you've done it wrong for decades, shame on you.
We are saying there is no time like the present
(42:39):
to make a move for the better right, whatever that is,
an exercise, move, a change in grocery shopping, whatever that is.
We've been blessed with so many wonderful speakers. Our chapter
is just has been brought just the top most dynamic
senior serving folks in our community, and I just can't
(42:59):
wait to continue to see where that goes. Recently, we've
made a connection with not only our local Department of
Aging is going to funnel our speakers through their platforms,
but also our local library. So in twenty twenty six,
we are going to touch so many lives here on
(43:21):
all things positive aging and longevity.
Speaker 1 (43:27):
So in your chapter, are you reaching out to the
community or just other professionals?
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Now, Well, we're trying to grow the chapter with like
minded professionals, But our goal here is educating the community anyway,
that we can, whether that be in person. We also
have some things online with webinars. We do not only
social events, but we do topics such as right senior
(43:53):
scams with the State's Attorney's Office. We've had you had
one of your guests Inlitor's doctor David the keeping your Marbles.
That was one of our largest attended seminars. He's dynamic, right, yes, yes.
And then we had functional medicine doctors. So we are
really just so excited to get our twenty twenty sixth calendar.
(44:18):
We are actually meeting next week to really figure out
what areas for us. One of them that's a hot
topic or accessory dwelling units, And I know that's big
in California, but for here, we are a little slow
on the East Coast in getting that up and running,
and we have such a housing shortage. It's needed, and
this is going to offer an opportunity for caregivers. So
(44:41):
maybe if somebody wants to stay in their primary care
primary home, they can put an ADU for a caregiver.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
And I think that that's one of the most underused
and overlooked real estate opportunities actually, and I think that
there's so much more that can be done with that.
And you're right, it's a big thing here right now.
We're just now being able to use it and need
to do it more. So, if you could wave one
(45:09):
thing Mary, either nationally or locally, about how we approach
aging caregiving or housing, what would it be?
Speaker 2 (45:20):
Wow, If I could wave one thing, I'm waving a wander,
I'm getting rid of something.
Speaker 1 (45:27):
Well, let's say if you could wave a magic wand
and change one thing about how we approach aging caregiving
or housing, and maybe one thing for each of those categories. Yes,
encompasses a lot.
Speaker 2 (45:40):
The first thing that really jumps out at me is
I want to get back with young folks really honoring
and getting the stories from the seniors. We have such
a wealth of knowledge that are sitting wanting to share
their stories, and I wish we could get back I hope,
I don't wish. I'm hoping to be part of initiative
(46:04):
to make sure that we record these volumes of treasures
that are in folks' minds and really get young folks
to work with the older folks, get that respect, that
generational living back together, going back to where grandchildren took
care of grandma's more right. Also not being worried about
(46:29):
laugh lines and like trying to get away from that
a little bit. And I think it's coming right. You
and I have been part of some of this, you know,
be proud of your age campaigns and things that we
are proud, right, We've lived, the lives, we've had the experiences.
We should be celebrating the years and not trying to
(46:51):
erase those lines and those memories. So that's what I
think mentality wise. As far as housing, certainly here locally,
I wish that we could get builders to make more affordable,
accessible homes in my area. It's so much cheaper. And
(47:12):
I know that this is nationally to build up than
it is to build across, but we really need more
housing where folks of any age can have first floor living.
You never know when a car accident or when somebody's
going to break their leg. It isn't even an aging thing,
it's an anybody thing, and we need more of it.
Speaker 1 (47:36):
That's true, even even a den downstairs, so if someone
needed to have a separate place with you, not even
if it wasn't a full bedroom. Sure, yeah, that's true.
And what about what about caregiving? Do you caregiving so much.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
I wish we maybe could have a co op or
something where people could right help one another. Get back
to that. I think we've gotten to this place where
we're afraid and there are some bad eggs out there
that have taken advantage of people, and so to me,
there has to be a better way. The current caregiving scenario.
(48:20):
It's hard on that Sandwich generation. It's hard on those
folks that are doing it all themselves and yet to
hire or to get help at communities is a lot
of times just something that's not affordable. So we have
to come up with better options, better education for folks,
(48:41):
and you make it so that our communities come together
and maybe it's you know, there's four or five people
that need help, and maybe we get them together and
like a co op. Just a thought.
Speaker 1 (48:56):
Yep, Yeah, we've talked about that, haven't we. People coexist
and live together in some form, share a kitchen or
or something, because you don't really need parking so much
at that stage, right right, Yeah, living situations.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
You have.
Speaker 1 (49:15):
What surprised you the most on your journey about people aging,
or maybe even about.
Speaker 2 (49:21):
Yourself, how fulfilling their relationships have been, How fulfilling when
a lot of times these journeys, where historically I would
get a call when someone was looking to move in
the next thirty days or sell their house in the
(49:41):
next thirty days. I'm now starting these conversations two years
out ye, and it's it's it's been I'm not sure
if I'm trying to fill a void and maybe you know,
just adopt every grandparent out there because mine are not
(50:04):
here on earth anymore. But that's been such an absolute honor.
I was talking to one a daughter the other day, who's,
you know, having some things with mom living there, and
I said, I'm just gonna pick her up and take
her with me. I have a thing going on over here.
I'm gonna be teaching at this one. I'm just gonna
(50:25):
swing by, grab mom, take her with me. Right. We
used to do that with kids with neighbor's kids. We'd
have our kid and the neighbor next door would say, oh,
I gotta go somewhere, give me your kid. I already
got one. I'll put another one in the car, right,
I could put your mom. You know, it's socialization and like,
don't be alone, you can come with me. A lot
(50:47):
of what I'm doing, I'd like a co pilot in
the car. And so that's been so rewarding. Now full disclosure,
I can only have two or three conversations with my
clients a day. Years before I might have been hitting
out ten. They're longer, But why are they more meaningful?
And I know I'm changing people's lives. I know it
(51:09):
down to my core. I'm changing their days, and I'm
making them happy, and I'm getting them an opportunity to
tell me how they're doing. And I am very thankful
for that. I do not take that for granted.
Speaker 1 (51:24):
You know what, You're right, What a great idea to say,
just grab something I did that, stay with my mom?
You know I had to go someplace. I'll come by
and pick you up. Yeah, So what a great idea
to do that with our neighbors and with other people
that we know, especially with our friends, kind of change
parents with each other. Right, if you're speaking today to
somebody who's going through what you were going through, entering
(51:46):
their next chapter, whether they're a caregiver, or they're the
adult child of an aging parent, or they're an aging
adult not knowing what to do, what message of hope
would you give to them?
Speaker 2 (52:00):
You can't see it today. But it's going to be rewarding.
Act out from your heart. You're going to do the
best you can. Take a break, raise your hand when
you need help. You are not superwoman, right, A lot
of people might think that you're superwoman. But even Superwoman
needed a little bit of time right in her telephone booth.
(52:21):
She wasn't with people all the time. And so remember
that cup feed into it. This November is National Family
Caregivers Month, and here locally, we are showering those caregivers
and we are making sure that we connect with them,
encouraging them to tell their stories, encouraging to reach out
(52:42):
and to help one another and share experiences. And I
think that is a beautiful thing because when you talk
about your needs, your needs get answered, you get opportunities,
you get resources. Just raise your hand and say you
need help. Everybody will be better for it.
Speaker 1 (53:02):
Absolutely. Absolutely, Mary has been a pleasure having you, and
to all of those who are watching and listening, thank
you for joining us for this heart to heart conversation
with the amazing and wonderful Mary Lynch. If Mary's story
touched you or reminded you of someone you love, I
hope that you'll take a moment today to reach out,
to say thank you, to check in with a neighbor
(53:23):
or someone else that you know, and simply to share
a memory. Those small acts of connection are what keep
our hearts open. Be sure to join us again next
week and we'll be sitting down with another remarkable guest,
someone whose story will inspire you to see life, love,
and home in a whole new way. Until then, I'm
Valerie vans Over reminding you that it is possible in
(53:45):
your next move and love life. Aren't purpose to be
Always Ageless. Be sure to reach out to us if
you are a loved one needs resources, doesn't know where
to go or who to call, and you have a
situation you're not quite sure how to handle. We have
a network like Mary all across the country, and Mary's
on the East Coast. If you've got a mom in
the East Coast, Mary can take care of you so
(54:06):
you can live your life by design and by choice.
Thank you for being with us, Thank you Mary Lynch
very much for being with us on Always Ageless today.
Speaker 2 (54:16):
Thank you so much. Valerie
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