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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Act one of Amends for Ladies by Nathan Field. This
is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the
public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit
LibriVox dot org. Amends for Ladies, Act one, seene one.
(00:20):
Enter the lady honor, the lady perfect, the lady bright.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
A wife, the happiest date. It cannot be.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Yes such a wife as I, that have a man,
as if myself had made him such a one as
I may justly say, I am the rib belonging to
his breast, Widow and maid. Your lives, compared to mine,
(00:50):
are miserable. The wealth and beauty meet in each of you,
poor virgin. All thy sport is thought of love and
meditation of a man. The time and circumstance. Ere thou
canst fix thy thoughts, and one thy fancy will approve.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
That trouble already may be passed.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Why if it be the doubt, he will not hold
his brittle faith that he is not a compatible choice,
and so your noble friends will cross the match. Doth
make your happiness uncertain? Still? Or say you married him
what he would prove? Can you compare your state then
(01:37):
to a wife.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Nay, all the freedom that a virgin hath is much
to be preferred. Who would endure the humors of so
insolent a thing as is a husband, which of all
the herd ron's not possessed with some notorious vice, drinking
or horring, fighting, jealousy even of a page at twelve,
(01:59):
or a groom that robs horse heels. Is it not
daily scene? Men take wives but to dress their meat,
to wash and starch the linen. For the other matter
of lying with them, that's but when they please? And whatso,
how the joy be of the bad The pangs that
follow procreation are hideous? Or ye, wives have gold your
(02:22):
husbands with your loud shriekings and your death or throes
a wife or widow to a virgin's life.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
Why should the best of you think you enjoy the
roost and rule that a free widow doth? I am
mine own commander, and the bliss of wooers and of
each variety frequents me as I were a maid, No brother,
have I to dice my patrimony away as you, my maid,
(02:50):
and madame. May no husband's death stand I endowdon for
thanks be to heaven. If mine were good. The grievous
loss of him is not to come. If he were bad.
He is gone, and I no more embrace my injury,
but be yours. Ill you knightly clasp your hate or good.
(03:12):
Why he may die or change his virtue. And thou,
though single, hast the bad fellow as bad as the
worst husband thought of one? And what that is? Men
with their wives do do and long expectance till the
deed be done. A wife is like a garment used
(03:34):
and torn, a maid like one made up but never worn.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
A widow is a garment worn, threadbare, selling at second
hand like brokers wear. But let us speak of things
the present time makes happy to us. And see what
is best? I have a servant, then the crown of men,
the fountain of humanity, the prize of every virtue, moral
and divine, young valiant, learned, well born, rich and shape
(04:04):
as of wise nature. When she fashioned him, had meant
to give him nothing but his fall. Yet all additions
are conferred on him that may delight a woman. This
same youth, to me, hath sacrificed his hard Yet I
have checked his suit, laughed at his worthy service, made
him the exercise of my cruelty. Whilst constant as the
(04:25):
sun for all these clouds, his love goes.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
On enter engine peace.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Here is the man you name widow, will stand aside.
Speaker 5 (04:38):
Good morral to the glory of our age, the lady
perfect and the lady.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Bright, meeting the wife and widow.
Speaker 5 (04:45):
The virtuous wife and widow. But to you, the lady
honor and my mistress, the happiness of your wishes.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
By this light, I never heard one speak so scurvily, utter,
such stale wit and pronounced so But to you, my
lady owner and my mistress, the happiness of your wishes.
Speaker 5 (05:06):
Stop your wit, you would fain show these ladies what
a hand you hold over your servant shall not need.
I will express your tyranny well enough. I have loved
this lady since I was a child, since I can
stew a mah. Now, she says, I do not love
her because I do not weep, lay mine arms or
(05:29):
my heart, and wear no garters, walk with mine eyes
in my hat, sigh and make faces for all the
poets in the town to laugh at pox others. Howling.
Love tis like a dog shut out at midnight. Must
love needs be powdered? Lie steeped in brine? Or will
(05:49):
it not keep sweet? Is it like beef in summer?
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Did you have a hair? Won't talk fast like a butcher?
Speaker 5 (05:56):
Thus is foolish, this same telling folks, we love it
needs no words, twill show itself in deeds? And did
I take you for an entertainer? A lady that will
wring one by the finger whilst on another's toes she
treads and cries, My God, I love but one, and
(06:16):
you are he either of them? Thinking himself the man
I tell you in your ear put for the business
which granted or denied? Madam God be wi ye come.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
These are daily slanders that you raise on our infirm
and unresisting sex you never met, I'm sure with such
a lady.
Speaker 5 (06:37):
Oh many, by this light I have seen a chamber
frequented like an office of the law. Clients succeed at
midnight one another, whilst the poor madam hath been so distressed,
which of her lovers to show most countenance too, that
her dull husband has perceived.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Her wiles, nay perhaps tort her. Many of those husbands
are base enough to live upon it.
Speaker 5 (07:00):
I have seen another cheat by this light at cards
and set her woman to talk to the gentleman that
played that so distracted they might oversee a.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Fly upon ye, I dares swear you lie.
Speaker 5 (07:14):
Do not, fair mistress, you will be forced worn.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
You men are all foul mouthed. I warrant you talk
thus of me and other ladies here, because we keep
the city o profane.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
That thought would damn me. Will you marry yet?
Speaker 6 (07:30):
No?
Speaker 2 (07:31):
I will never marry.
Speaker 5 (07:33):
Shall we then couple unlawfully? For indeed this marrying is
but proclaiming what we mean to do, which may be
done privately in civil sort. And none the wiser and
by this white hand, the rack strappado or the boiling boot,
should never force me tell to wrong your honor.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
May I believe this?
Speaker 5 (07:54):
Let it be your creed.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
But if you should prove false, nay, now unhang your sword,
except you mean to hang yourself. Why where have you
been drinking's foot? You talk like one of these same
rambling boys that rain in Turnbull Street.
Speaker 5 (08:11):
How do you know?
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Indeed, my knowledge is but speculative, not practic. There I
have it by relation from such observers as yourself, dear servant,
I must profess I did think well of thee. But
get thee from my sight. I never more will hear
or see thee, but will hate thee deadly as a
man enemy or a woman turned. Ladies, come forth.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Enter widow wife.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
See sir, what courtesy you have done to me? A
strange praise of you had newly left my lips just
as you entered, And how you have deserved it with
your carriage. Villain, thou hast hurt my honor to be
his friends? For what can they imagine? But some ill
hath passed betwixt us by thy broad discourse, where my
case theirs by ardent chastity. I should condemn them. Hence
(09:03):
depart my sight, madam.
Speaker 5 (09:06):
But hear me, oh, that these were men and durst.
But say or think you ill for this? I have
so good a cause upon my side that I would
cut their hearts out of their breasts, and the thoughts
out of them that injured you. But I obey your
hest and for my penance will run a course never
to see you more. And now I lose you, may
(09:29):
I lose the light, since in that beauty dwelt my
day or night?
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Exit engine?
Speaker 4 (09:36):
Is this the virtuous youth, your happiness? Wherein you thought
you a seat so far above ours.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
If one man could be good, this had been he
See here come all your suitors and your husband, and
ring the laughter. Here's the Lord fee simple. What gentleman
does he bring along?
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Enter husband, embracing subtle the Lord fee simple with young
bold like a waiting gentlewoman, and well tried, well tried husband,
and subtle talk with.
Speaker 7 (10:10):
Wife one and thirty good morrows to the fairest, wisest,
richest widow that ever conversation coped.
Speaker 4 (10:20):
With all three score and two unto the wisest lord
that ever was trained in university.
Speaker 7 (10:28):
Oh, courteous, bounteous widow, she has outbid me thirty one
good morrows at a clap.
Speaker 8 (10:34):
But my Lord fee Simple, you forget the business imposed
on you.
Speaker 7 (10:39):
Gentlewoman, I cry the mercy, But tis a fault in
all lords.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Not in me.
Speaker 7 (10:44):
Only we do used to swear by our honors, and
as we are noble to dispatch such a business with
such a gentleman. And we are bound even by the
same honor as we swear by, to forget it in
a quarter of an hour, and look as if we
had never seen the party when we meet next, Especially
if none of our gentlemen have been considered.
Speaker 8 (11:04):
I but all yours have, for you keep none, my lord. Besides,
though it stands with your honor to forget men's businesses,
yet it stands not worth your honor if you do
not do a woman's.
Speaker 7 (11:18):
Why then, Madam, so it is that I request your
ladyship to accept into your service this gentlewoman. For truth
and honesty, I will be bound. I have known her
too long to be deceived. Aside, this is the second
time I have seen her.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Why how now, my lord, A prefer a gentlewoman to
service like an old knitting woman. Where has she dwelt before?
Speaker 7 (11:43):
She dwelt with young Bold? Sister? He that is my
co rival and your love. She requested me to advance
it to you, for you are a dubbed lady. So
is not she yet.
Speaker 8 (11:56):
But now you talk of young Bold. When did you
see lady?
Speaker 4 (12:01):
Not this month? Master well tried. I did conjure him
to forbear my sight. Indeed swore if he came, I'd
be denied. But this strange you should ask of him,
He too will wont never to be asunder.
Speaker 8 (12:17):
Faith, Madam. We never were together, but we differed on
some argument or other. Undoubting lest our discord might at
length breed some quarrel. I forbear him.
Speaker 7 (12:27):
Too, he quarrel bold, hang him if he durst have quarreled.
The well knows he's within a mile of an oak is.
Put him to it and soundly. I never cared for
him in my life, but to see his sister. He's
an ass pox, an errant ass. For do you think
(12:48):
any but an arrant ass would offer to come a
wooing where a lord attempts he quarrel. He dares not quarrel.
Speaker 8 (12:57):
But he dares fight my lord upon my knowledge, and
rail no more my lord behind his back. For if
you do, my lord, blood must n't sue draws.
Speaker 7 (13:09):
Ugh, Oh, my honored eyes, I am dead.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Swoons, Oh it's light.
Speaker 8 (13:16):
What's the matter? Bring him by the nose.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
A pair of riding spurs now were worth.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Gold pins are as good? Prick him, prick him.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
H ooh, he's come again?
Speaker 7 (13:32):
Lift him up?
Speaker 3 (13:34):
How fares your lordship?
Speaker 7 (13:36):
Oh? Friends, you have wronged my spirit to call it back?
I was even in elysium at rest.
Speaker 8 (13:44):
But why sir did you swoon?
Speaker 7 (13:47):
Well? Though I die, mister Welchard, before all these I
do forgive you because you are ignorant of my infirmity. Oh, sir,
it's not up yet. I die again. Put up now
whilst I wink, or I do wink forever.
Speaker 8 (14:07):
Chi's up, my lord, up your eyes. But I pray
tell me, is this antipathy TwixT bright steel and you natural?
Or how grew it?
Speaker 7 (14:18):
I'll tell you, sir, anything bright and edged works. Thus
strongly with me your hilts now I can handle as
boldly look you else.
Speaker 9 (14:29):
Nay, never blame my lord master well tried, For I
know a great many will swoon at the sight of
a shoulder, a mutton, or a quarter of a lamb.
My lord may be excused, then, for a naked sword this.
Speaker 8 (14:41):
Lord, and this knight and dog collars would make a
fine brace of beagles.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
But on my faith, twas mightily overseen of your father
not to bring you up to foyles. Or if he
had boundy prentice to a cutler and ironmonger.
Speaker 7 (14:55):
Ha box, hang him, old, gouty fool. He never brought
up to any lordly exercise as fencing, dancing, tumbling and
such like. But forsooth I must write and read and
speak languages and such base qualities fit for none but gentlemen, Now, sir,
what I tell him? Father? You are a count, I
(15:16):
am a lord, a poxer, writing and reading and languages.
Let me brought up as I was born.
Speaker 10 (15:24):
But how my lord, came you first? Not to endure
the sight of steel?
Speaker 7 (15:30):
Why, I'll tell you, sir, When I was a child,
an infant and innocent.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Made a side twas even now.
Speaker 7 (15:40):
I being in the kitchen in my lord my father's house,
the cook was making minced pies. So, Sir, I standing
by the dresser, there lay a heap of plums. Here
was he mincing. What did me, I, sir, being a
notable little witted coxcomb, but popped my hand just under
his chopping knife to snatch some raisins, And so was
(16:03):
cut o'er the hand. And never since could I endure
the sight of any edge tool.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
Indeed, they are not fit for you, my lord. And
now you are all so well satisfied in this matter. Pray, ladies,
how like you this my gentlewoman in.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Troth madam exceedingly well? I if you be provided, pray
let me have her?
Speaker 3 (16:27):
It should be my request. But then I am full?
Speaker 4 (16:31):
What can you do? What's her name?
Speaker 7 (16:33):
My Lord, he nay, I know not what's her name?
Speaker 8 (16:39):
Master well tried her name slid, Tell my lady your name.
Speaker 6 (16:44):
Mistress Mary Princock's.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
Forsooth, Mistress Mary Princox. She has wit. I perceived that already.
Methinks she speaks as if she were my lord's brood.
Speaker 6 (17:00):
Brood madam that tills well known. I am a gentlewoman.
My father was a man of five hundred per annum,
and he held something in capitae too, so.
Speaker 8 (17:12):
Does my lord something.
Speaker 7 (17:14):
Nay b my troth what I hold in capities? With
little or nothing?
Speaker 6 (17:20):
I have apt breeding. However, my misfortune now makes me
submit myself to service. But there is no Ebb so low.
But hath his tide again? When our days are at worst,
they will mend in spite of the frowning destinies, for
we cannot be lower than earth. And the same blind
(17:43):
dame that hath cast her blaar eyes hitherto upon my occasions,
may turn her wheel and at last wind them up
with her white hand to some pinnacle that prosperously may
flourish in the sunshine of primise ocean.
Speaker 7 (18:01):
O mouthful of agility. I would give twenty marks now
to any person that could teach me to convey my
tongue sans tumbling with such dexterity, to such a period,
for her truth and her aunesty. I am bound before,
But now I have heard a talk for her wit,
I will be bound, body and goods odd slight.
Speaker 4 (18:22):
I will not leave her for my hood. I never
met with one of these eloquent old gentlewomen. Before what
age are you, Mistress Mary Princox.
Speaker 6 (18:34):
I will not lie, Madam. I have numbered fifty seven summers,
and just so many winters have I passed.
Speaker 10 (18:43):
But they have not passed you. They lie frozen in
your face, madam.
Speaker 6 (18:49):
If it shall please you to entertain me, so if not,
I desire you not to misconstrue my good will. There's
no harm done. The door as big as it was,
and your Ladyship's own wishes. Crown your beauty with content.
As for these frumping glance, let them do their worst.
(19:11):
It is not in man's power to hurt me. That
tis well known. I came not to be scoffed. A
woman may bear and bear till her back burst. I
am a poor gentlewoman, and since virtue hath nowadays no
other companion but poverty. I set the hair's head onto
(19:33):
the goose giblets. And what I want one way, I
hope I shall be enabled to supply the other.
Speaker 7 (19:41):
And please God that thou wilt not past children is.
Speaker 4 (19:45):
Stephen, So my lord, nay good princox, do not cry.
I do entertain you. How do you occupy? What can
you use?
Speaker 6 (19:56):
Anything fit to be put into the hand of a
gentle woman?
Speaker 4 (20:02):
What are your qualities?
Speaker 6 (20:05):
I can sleep on a low stool, if your ladyship
be talking in the same room with any gentleman. I
can read on a book, sing love songs. Look up
the louver light here and be deaf, see and be blind,
be ever dumb to your secrets, swear and equivocate, and
(20:27):
whatsoever I spy say the best.
Speaker 4 (20:31):
O rare corone, how art dou and dued? But why
did Master Bowle's sister put you away?
Speaker 6 (20:40):
I beseech you, madam, to neglect that desire. Though I
know your Ladyship's understanding to be sufficient to partake or
take in the greatest secret can be imparted.
Speaker 4 (20:53):
Yet, nay, prithee, tell the cause. Come, here's none but friends, madam.
Speaker 6 (21:01):
Hey, hell, I was to confess truly a little foolish
in my last service to who believe men's oaths. But
I hope my example, though prejudicial to myself, will be
beneficial to other young gentlewomen in service. My mistress's brother,
(21:22):
the gentleman you named even now, Master Bild, having often
attempted my honor, but finding it impregnable, vowed love and
marriage to me. At the last I a young thing,
and raw, being seduced, set my mind upon him. But friends,
(21:43):
contradicting the match, I fell into a grievous consumption, and
upon my first recovery, lest the intended sacred ceremonies of
nuptials should succeed. His sister, knowing this, thought it fit
in her judgment we should be father asunder, and so
(22:05):
put me out of her service.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
Gods mercy for this discovery and faith. Oh man, what
art thou and thy cockies up? Come? Will your lordship
walk in this dinner time?
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Enter hastily seldom with papers on his arm?
Speaker 6 (22:28):
Who's this?
Speaker 2 (22:31):
This is our landlord? Master? Seldom an exceedingly why citizen,
a very sufficient, understanding man and exceeding rich miles Lord.
Speaker 4 (22:43):
Good morrow, Landlord, where have you been sweating?
Speaker 9 (22:48):
Good?
Speaker 11 (22:48):
Morrow to your honors. Thrift is industrious. Your ladyship knows
we will not stick to sweat for our pleasures. How
much more ought we sweat for our profits. I am
come from ester Ingen this morning, who is married or
to be married? And though your ladyship did not honor
(23:11):
his nuptials with your presence, he hath by me sent
each of you a pair of gloves and grace. Seldom
my wife is not forgot.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Exit. God give him joy, God give him joy, joy excellent.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
Let all things most impossible change now, Oh, perjured man,
oaths are but words I see? But wherefore should not
we that think we love upon full merit that same worth,
once seizing to cease our love too and find new
dessert alas we cannot loves a pit which when we
(23:50):
fall into we never get out again. And this same
horrid news which meassaults, I would forget love blanches blackest faults.
Oh what path shall I tread for remedy? But darkest
shades where love with death doth lie exit?
Speaker 1 (24:09):
My nunt husband, wife, subtle.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Sir, I have often heard my husband speak of your acquaintance.
Speaker 9 (24:18):
Nay, my virtuous wife, had it been but acquaintance, missus
absence had not appeared so uncoot. But we two were
schoolfellows together, born and nursed, brought up and lived since
like the Gemini, had but one son. The tavern of
the ordinary where I was married, that saw one of
us without the other said we'd walked by halves where dear,
(24:43):
dear friend of you ben on.
Speaker 10 (24:44):
This while, oh, most sweet friend, the world so vicious,
that had I, with such familiarity frequented you, since you
were married, possessed and used your fortune as before, as
in like manner you commanded mine. The depraved thoughts of
(25:07):
men would have proclaimed some scandalous rumors from this love
of ours, as saying mine reflected on your lady. And
what a wound had that been to our souls, when
only friendship should have been the ground to hurt her
honor and your confident peace, spite of mine own approved integrity.
Speaker 9 (25:32):
Wife, kiss him, bid him welcome. Parts of the world come, Come.
You shall not part from me in haste. I do
command thee use this gentleman in all things, like myself.
If I should die, I would bequeath him in my
will to THEE.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
Sir, you are most welcome and let scandalous tongues no
more deter you. I dare use you, sir, with all
the right belonging to a friend. And what I dare,
I dare let all men see my conscience rather than
men's thoughts, be free.
Speaker 9 (26:08):
Will you look in? We'll follow you exit. Wife, Now, friend,
what think you of this lady?
Speaker 10 (26:17):
Why, sweet friend, that you are happy in her? She
is fair, witchy, and virtuous, and was rich to you.
Can there be an addition to a wife?
Speaker 9 (26:30):
Yes, constancy, for tis no chastity, that lives remote from
all attempters, free, but there tis strong and pure. We're
all that wood does resist and turns them virtuous too. Therefore,
dear friend, by this loves masculine kiss, by all our
mutual engagements past, by all the hopes of amity to come,
(26:54):
Be you the settler of my jealous thoughts, and make
me kill my fond suspect of her, by assurance that
she is loyal, otherwise that she is false. And then
as she is past cure, my soul shall ever after
be past care. That you are fittest for this enterprise.
You must needs understand, since prove she true in this
(27:17):
your trial, you, my dearest friend whom only rather than
the world. Besides, I would have satisfied of her virtue,
shall see and best conceal my folly. Proof she weak
'tis better, you should note than any man who can
reform her and do me no wrong. Chemical metals and
bright gold itself by sight are not distinguished. But by
(27:39):
the test thought makes good wives, but trial makes the
best to the unskillful owner's eyes. Alike, the bristow sparkles
as the diamond, but by a lapidary the truth is found. Come,
you shall not deny me, do not.
Speaker 10 (27:56):
Wrong, so fair a wife, friend, and so virtual us
whose good name is a theme unto the world, make
not a wound with searching where there was none. Misfortune
Still such projects does pursue. He makes a false wife
that suspects a true Yet, since you so importune, give
(28:20):
me leave to ruminate a while, and I will straight
follow and give you an answer.
Speaker 9 (28:28):
You must do it.
Speaker 10 (28:29):
Exit assure yourself, dear Coxcomb, I will do it, or
strangely be denied. All's as I wished. This was my aim.
Although I have seemed strange. I know this fellow now
to be an ass a most unworthy husband. Though in
(28:52):
view he bears himself thus fair she knows it too.
Therefore the strong are my hopes to gain her, and
my dear friend that will have your wife tried. I'll
try her first, then trust her if I can. And
(29:13):
as you said, most wisely, I hope to be both
touched down to your wife and lapidary
Speaker 1 (29:23):
Exit end of Act one
Act one of Amends for Ladies by Nathan Field. This
is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the
public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit
LibriVox dot org. Amends for Ladies, Act one, seene one.
(00:20):
Enter the lady honor, the lady perfect, the lady bright.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
A wife, the happiest date. It cannot be.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Yes such a wife as I, that have a man,
as if myself had made him such a one as
I may justly say, I am the rib belonging to
his breast, Widow and maid. Your lives, compared to mine,
(00:50):
are miserable. The wealth and beauty meet in each of you,
poor virgin. All thy sport is thought of love and
meditation of a man. The time and circumstance. Ere thou
canst fix thy thoughts, and one thy fancy will approve.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
That trouble already may be passed.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Why if it be the doubt, he will not hold
his brittle faith that he is not a compatible choice,
and so your noble friends will cross the match. Doth
make your happiness uncertain? Still? Or say you married him
what he would prove? Can you compare your state then
(01:37):
to a wife.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Nay, all the freedom that a virgin hath is much
to be preferred. Who would endure the humors of so
insolent a thing as is a husband, which of all
the herd ron's not possessed with some notorious vice, drinking
or horring, fighting, jealousy even of a page at twelve,
(01:59):
or a groom that robs horse heels. Is it not
daily scene? Men take wives but to dress their meat,
to wash and starch the linen. For the other matter
of lying with them, that's but when they please? And whatso,
how the joy be of the bad The pangs that
follow procreation are hideous? Or ye, wives have gold your
(02:22):
husbands with your loud shriekings and your death or throes
a wife or widow to a virgin's life.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
Why should the best of you think you enjoy the
roost and rule that a free widow doth? I am
mine own commander, and the bliss of wooers and of
each variety frequents me as I were a maid, No brother,
have I to dice my patrimony away as you, my maid,
(02:50):
and madame. May no husband's death stand I endowdon for
thanks be to heaven. If mine were good. The grievous
loss of him is not to come. If he were bad.
He is gone, and I no more embrace my injury,
but be yours. Ill you knightly clasp your hate or good.
(03:12):
Why he may die or change his virtue. And thou,
though single, hast the bad fellow as bad as the
worst husband thought of one? And what that is? Men
with their wives do do and long expectance till the
deed be done. A wife is like a garment used
(03:34):
and torn, a maid like one made up but never worn.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
A widow is a garment worn, threadbare, selling at second
hand like brokers wear. But let us speak of things
the present time makes happy to us. And see what
is best? I have a servant, then the crown of men,
the fountain of humanity, the prize of every virtue, moral
and divine, young valiant, learned, well born, rich and shape
(04:04):
as of wise nature. When she fashioned him, had meant
to give him nothing but his fall. Yet all additions
are conferred on him that may delight a woman. This
same youth, to me, hath sacrificed his hard Yet I
have checked his suit, laughed at his worthy service, made
him the exercise of my cruelty. Whilst constant as the
(04:25):
sun for all these clouds, his love goes.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
On enter engine peace.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Here is the man you name widow, will stand aside.
Speaker 5 (04:38):
Good morral to the glory of our age, the lady
perfect and the lady.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Bright, meeting the wife and widow.
Speaker 5 (04:45):
The virtuous wife and widow. But to you, the lady
honor and my mistress, the happiness of your wishes.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
By this light, I never heard one speak so scurvily, utter,
such stale wit and pronounced so But to you, my
lady owner and my mistress, the happiness of your wishes.
Speaker 5 (05:06):
Stop your wit, you would fain show these ladies what
a hand you hold over your servant shall not need.
I will express your tyranny well enough. I have loved
this lady since I was a child, since I can
stew a mah. Now, she says, I do not love
her because I do not weep, lay mine arms or
(05:29):
my heart, and wear no garters, walk with mine eyes
in my hat, sigh and make faces for all the
poets in the town to laugh at pox others. Howling.
Love tis like a dog shut out at midnight. Must
love needs be powdered? Lie steeped in brine? Or will
(05:49):
it not keep sweet? Is it like beef in summer?
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Did you have a hair? Won't talk fast like a butcher?
Speaker 5 (05:56):
Thus is foolish, this same telling folks, we love it
needs no words, twill show itself in deeds? And did
I take you for an entertainer? A lady that will
wring one by the finger whilst on another's toes she
treads and cries, My God, I love but one, and
(06:16):
you are he either of them? Thinking himself the man
I tell you in your ear put for the business
which granted or denied? Madam God be wi ye come.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
These are daily slanders that you raise on our infirm
and unresisting sex you never met, I'm sure with such
a lady.
Speaker 5 (06:37):
Oh many, by this light I have seen a chamber
frequented like an office of the law. Clients succeed at
midnight one another, whilst the poor madam hath been so distressed,
which of her lovers to show most countenance too, that
her dull husband has perceived.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Her wiles, nay perhaps tort her. Many of those husbands
are base enough to live upon it.
Speaker 5 (07:00):
I have seen another cheat by this light at cards
and set her woman to talk to the gentleman that
played that so distracted they might oversee a.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Fly upon ye, I dares swear you lie.
Speaker 5 (07:14):
Do not, fair mistress, you will be forced worn.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
You men are all foul mouthed. I warrant you talk
thus of me and other ladies here, because we keep
the city o profane.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
That thought would damn me. Will you marry yet?
Speaker 6 (07:30):
No?
Speaker 2 (07:31):
I will never marry.
Speaker 5 (07:33):
Shall we then couple unlawfully? For indeed this marrying is
but proclaiming what we mean to do, which may be
done privately in civil sort. And none the wiser and
by this white hand, the rack strappado or the boiling boot,
should never force me tell to wrong your honor.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
May I believe this?
Speaker 5 (07:54):
Let it be your creed.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
But if you should prove false, nay, now unhang your sword,
except you mean to hang yourself. Why where have you
been drinking's foot? You talk like one of these same
rambling boys that rain in Turnbull Street.
Speaker 5 (08:11):
How do you know?
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Indeed, my knowledge is but speculative, not practic. There I
have it by relation from such observers as yourself, dear servant,
I must profess I did think well of thee. But
get thee from my sight. I never more will hear
or see thee, but will hate thee deadly as a
man enemy or a woman turned. Ladies, come forth.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Enter widow wife.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
See sir, what courtesy you have done to me? A
strange praise of you had newly left my lips just
as you entered, And how you have deserved it with
your carriage. Villain, thou hast hurt my honor to be
his friends? For what can they imagine? But some ill
hath passed betwixt us by thy broad discourse, where my
case theirs by ardent chastity. I should condemn them. Hence
(09:03):
depart my sight, madam.
Speaker 5 (09:06):
But hear me, oh, that these were men and durst.
But say or think you ill for this? I have
so good a cause upon my side that I would
cut their hearts out of their breasts, and the thoughts
out of them that injured you. But I obey your
hest and for my penance will run a course never
to see you more. And now I lose you, may
(09:29):
I lose the light, since in that beauty dwelt my
day or night?
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Exit engine?
Speaker 4 (09:36):
Is this the virtuous youth, your happiness? Wherein you thought
you a seat so far above ours.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
If one man could be good, this had been he
See here come all your suitors and your husband, and
ring the laughter. Here's the Lord fee simple. What gentleman
does he bring along?
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Enter husband, embracing subtle the Lord fee simple with young
bold like a waiting gentlewoman, and well tried, well tried husband,
and subtle talk with.
Speaker 7 (10:10):
Wife one and thirty good morrows to the fairest, wisest,
richest widow that ever conversation coped.
Speaker 4 (10:20):
With all three score and two unto the wisest lord
that ever was trained in university.
Speaker 7 (10:28):
Oh, courteous, bounteous widow, she has outbid me thirty one
good morrows at a clap.
Speaker 8 (10:34):
But my Lord fee Simple, you forget the business imposed
on you.
Speaker 7 (10:39):
Gentlewoman, I cry the mercy, But tis a fault in
all lords.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Not in me.
Speaker 7 (10:44):
Only we do used to swear by our honors, and
as we are noble to dispatch such a business with
such a gentleman. And we are bound even by the
same honor as we swear by, to forget it in
a quarter of an hour, and look as if we
had never seen the party when we meet next, Especially
if none of our gentlemen have been considered.
Speaker 8 (11:04):
I but all yours have, for you keep none, my lord. Besides,
though it stands with your honor to forget men's businesses,
yet it stands not worth your honor if you do
not do a woman's.
Speaker 7 (11:18):
Why then, Madam, so it is that I request your
ladyship to accept into your service this gentlewoman. For truth
and honesty, I will be bound. I have known her
too long to be deceived. Aside, this is the second
time I have seen her.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Why how now, my lord, A prefer a gentlewoman to
service like an old knitting woman. Where has she dwelt before?
Speaker 7 (11:43):
She dwelt with young Bold? Sister? He that is my
co rival and your love. She requested me to advance
it to you, for you are a dubbed lady. So
is not she yet.
Speaker 8 (11:56):
But now you talk of young Bold. When did you
see lady?
Speaker 4 (12:01):
Not this month? Master well tried. I did conjure him
to forbear my sight. Indeed swore if he came, I'd
be denied. But this strange you should ask of him,
He too will wont never to be asunder.
Speaker 8 (12:17):
Faith, Madam. We never were together, but we differed on
some argument or other. Undoubting lest our discord might at
length breed some quarrel. I forbear him.
Speaker 7 (12:27):
Too, he quarrel bold, hang him if he durst have quarreled.
The well knows he's within a mile of an oak is.
Put him to it and soundly. I never cared for
him in my life, but to see his sister. He's
an ass pox, an errant ass. For do you think
(12:48):
any but an arrant ass would offer to come a
wooing where a lord attempts he quarrel. He dares not quarrel.
Speaker 8 (12:57):
But he dares fight my lord upon my knowledge, and
rail no more my lord behind his back. For if
you do, my lord, blood must n't sue draws.
Speaker 7 (13:09):
Ugh, Oh, my honored eyes, I am dead.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Swoons, Oh it's light.
Speaker 8 (13:16):
What's the matter? Bring him by the nose.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
A pair of riding spurs now were worth.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Gold pins are as good? Prick him, prick him.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
H ooh, he's come again?
Speaker 7 (13:32):
Lift him up?
Speaker 3 (13:34):
How fares your lordship?
Speaker 7 (13:36):
Oh? Friends, you have wronged my spirit to call it back?
I was even in elysium at rest.
Speaker 8 (13:44):
But why sir did you swoon?
Speaker 7 (13:47):
Well? Though I die, mister Welchard, before all these I
do forgive you because you are ignorant of my infirmity. Oh, sir,
it's not up yet. I die again. Put up now
whilst I wink, or I do wink forever.
Speaker 8 (14:07):
Chi's up, my lord, up your eyes. But I pray
tell me, is this antipathy TwixT bright steel and you natural?
Or how grew it?
Speaker 7 (14:18):
I'll tell you, sir, anything bright and edged works. Thus
strongly with me your hilts now I can handle as
boldly look you else.
Speaker 9 (14:29):
Nay, never blame my lord master well tried, For I
know a great many will swoon at the sight of
a shoulder, a mutton, or a quarter of a lamb.
My lord may be excused, then, for a naked sword this.
Speaker 8 (14:41):
Lord, and this knight and dog collars would make a
fine brace of beagles.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
But on my faith, twas mightily overseen of your father
not to bring you up to foyles. Or if he
had boundy prentice to a cutler and ironmonger.
Speaker 7 (14:55):
Ha box, hang him, old, gouty fool. He never brought
up to any lordly exercise as fencing, dancing, tumbling and
such like. But forsooth I must write and read and
speak languages and such base qualities fit for none but gentlemen, Now, sir,
what I tell him? Father? You are a count, I
(15:16):
am a lord, a poxer, writing and reading and languages.
Let me brought up as I was born.
Speaker 10 (15:24):
But how my lord, came you first? Not to endure
the sight of steel?
Speaker 7 (15:30):
Why, I'll tell you, sir, When I was a child,
an infant and innocent.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Made a side twas even now.
Speaker 7 (15:40):
I being in the kitchen in my lord my father's house,
the cook was making minced pies. So, Sir, I standing
by the dresser, there lay a heap of plums. Here
was he mincing. What did me, I, sir, being a
notable little witted coxcomb, but popped my hand just under
his chopping knife to snatch some raisins, And so was
(16:03):
cut o'er the hand. And never since could I endure
the sight of any edge tool.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
Indeed, they are not fit for you, my lord. And
now you are all so well satisfied in this matter. Pray, ladies,
how like you this my gentlewoman in.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Troth madam exceedingly well? I if you be provided, pray
let me have her?
Speaker 3 (16:27):
It should be my request. But then I am full?
Speaker 4 (16:31):
What can you do? What's her name?
Speaker 7 (16:33):
My Lord, he nay, I know not what's her name?
Speaker 8 (16:39):
Master well tried her name slid, Tell my lady your name.
Speaker 6 (16:44):
Mistress Mary Princock's.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
Forsooth, Mistress Mary Princox. She has wit. I perceived that already.
Methinks she speaks as if she were my lord's brood.
Speaker 6 (17:00):
Brood madam that tills well known. I am a gentlewoman.
My father was a man of five hundred per annum,
and he held something in capitae too, so.
Speaker 8 (17:12):
Does my lord something.
Speaker 7 (17:14):
Nay b my troth what I hold in capities? With
little or nothing?
Speaker 6 (17:20):
I have apt breeding. However, my misfortune now makes me
submit myself to service. But there is no Ebb so low.
But hath his tide again? When our days are at worst,
they will mend in spite of the frowning destinies, for
we cannot be lower than earth. And the same blind
(17:43):
dame that hath cast her blaar eyes hitherto upon my occasions,
may turn her wheel and at last wind them up
with her white hand to some pinnacle that prosperously may
flourish in the sunshine of primise ocean.
Speaker 7 (18:01):
O mouthful of agility. I would give twenty marks now
to any person that could teach me to convey my
tongue sans tumbling with such dexterity, to such a period,
for her truth and her aunesty. I am bound before,
But now I have heard a talk for her wit,
I will be bound, body and goods odd slight.
Speaker 4 (18:22):
I will not leave her for my hood. I never
met with one of these eloquent old gentlewomen. Before what
age are you, Mistress Mary Princox.
Speaker 6 (18:34):
I will not lie, Madam. I have numbered fifty seven summers,
and just so many winters have I passed.
Speaker 10 (18:43):
But they have not passed you. They lie frozen in
your face, madam.
Speaker 6 (18:49):
If it shall please you to entertain me, so if not,
I desire you not to misconstrue my good will. There's
no harm done. The door as big as it was,
and your Ladyship's own wishes. Crown your beauty with content.
As for these frumping glance, let them do their worst.
(19:11):
It is not in man's power to hurt me. That
tis well known. I came not to be scoffed. A
woman may bear and bear till her back burst. I
am a poor gentlewoman, and since virtue hath nowadays no
other companion but poverty. I set the hair's head onto
(19:33):
the goose giblets. And what I want one way, I
hope I shall be enabled to supply the other.
Speaker 7 (19:41):
And please God that thou wilt not past children is.
Speaker 4 (19:45):
Stephen, So my lord, nay good princox, do not cry.
I do entertain you. How do you occupy? What can
you use?
Speaker 6 (19:56):
Anything fit to be put into the hand of a
gentle woman?
Speaker 4 (20:02):
What are your qualities?
Speaker 6 (20:05):
I can sleep on a low stool, if your ladyship
be talking in the same room with any gentleman. I
can read on a book, sing love songs. Look up
the louver light here and be deaf, see and be blind,
be ever dumb to your secrets, swear and equivocate, and
(20:27):
whatsoever I spy say the best.
Speaker 4 (20:31):
O rare corone, how art dou and dued? But why
did Master Bowle's sister put you away?
Speaker 6 (20:40):
I beseech you, madam, to neglect that desire. Though I
know your Ladyship's understanding to be sufficient to partake or
take in the greatest secret can be imparted.
Speaker 4 (20:53):
Yet, nay, prithee, tell the cause. Come, here's none but friends, madam.
Speaker 6 (21:01):
Hey, hell, I was to confess truly a little foolish
in my last service to who believe men's oaths. But
I hope my example, though prejudicial to myself, will be
beneficial to other young gentlewomen in service. My mistress's brother,
(21:22):
the gentleman you named even now, Master Bild, having often
attempted my honor, but finding it impregnable, vowed love and
marriage to me. At the last I a young thing,
and raw, being seduced, set my mind upon him. But friends,
(21:43):
contradicting the match, I fell into a grievous consumption, and
upon my first recovery, lest the intended sacred ceremonies of
nuptials should succeed. His sister, knowing this, thought it fit
in her judgment we should be father asunder, and so
(22:05):
put me out of her service.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
Gods mercy for this discovery and faith. Oh man, what
art thou and thy cockies up? Come? Will your lordship
walk in this dinner time?
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Enter hastily seldom with papers on his arm?
Speaker 6 (22:28):
Who's this?
Speaker 2 (22:31):
This is our landlord? Master? Seldom an exceedingly why citizen,
a very sufficient, understanding man and exceeding rich miles Lord.
Speaker 4 (22:43):
Good morrow, Landlord, where have you been sweating?
Speaker 9 (22:48):
Good?
Speaker 11 (22:48):
Morrow to your honors. Thrift is industrious. Your ladyship knows
we will not stick to sweat for our pleasures. How
much more ought we sweat for our profits. I am
come from ester Ingen this morning, who is married or
to be married? And though your ladyship did not honor
(23:11):
his nuptials with your presence, he hath by me sent
each of you a pair of gloves and grace. Seldom
my wife is not forgot.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Exit. God give him joy, God give him joy, joy excellent.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
Let all things most impossible change now, Oh, perjured man,
oaths are but words I see? But wherefore should not
we that think we love upon full merit that same worth,
once seizing to cease our love too and find new
dessert alas we cannot loves a pit which when we
(23:50):
fall into we never get out again. And this same
horrid news which meassaults, I would forget love blanches blackest faults.
Oh what path shall I tread for remedy? But darkest
shades where love with death doth lie exit?
Speaker 1 (24:09):
My nunt husband, wife, subtle.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Sir, I have often heard my husband speak of your acquaintance.
Speaker 9 (24:18):
Nay, my virtuous wife, had it been but acquaintance, missus
absence had not appeared so uncoot. But we two were
schoolfellows together, born and nursed, brought up and lived since
like the Gemini, had but one son. The tavern of
the ordinary where I was married, that saw one of
us without the other said we'd walked by halves where dear,
(24:43):
dear friend of you ben on.
Speaker 10 (24:44):
This while, oh, most sweet friend, the world so vicious,
that had I, with such familiarity frequented you, since you
were married, possessed and used your fortune as before, as
in like manner you commanded mine. The depraved thoughts of
(25:07):
men would have proclaimed some scandalous rumors from this love
of ours, as saying mine reflected on your lady. And
what a wound had that been to our souls, when
only friendship should have been the ground to hurt her
honor and your confident peace, spite of mine own approved integrity.
Speaker 9 (25:32):
Wife, kiss him, bid him welcome. Parts of the world come, Come.
You shall not part from me in haste. I do
command thee use this gentleman in all things, like myself.
If I should die, I would bequeath him in my
will to THEE.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
Sir, you are most welcome and let scandalous tongues no
more deter you. I dare use you, sir, with all
the right belonging to a friend. And what I dare,
I dare let all men see my conscience rather than
men's thoughts, be free.
Speaker 9 (26:08):
Will you look in? We'll follow you exit. Wife, Now, friend,
what think you of this lady?
Speaker 10 (26:17):
Why, sweet friend, that you are happy in her? She
is fair, witchy, and virtuous, and was rich to you.
Can there be an addition to a wife?
Speaker 9 (26:30):
Yes, constancy, for tis no chastity, that lives remote from
all attempters, free, but there tis strong and pure. We're
all that wood does resist and turns them virtuous too. Therefore,
dear friend, by this loves masculine kiss, by all our
mutual engagements past, by all the hopes of amity to come,
(26:54):
Be you the settler of my jealous thoughts, and make
me kill my fond suspect of her, by assurance that
she is loyal, otherwise that she is false. And then
as she is past cure, my soul shall ever after
be past care. That you are fittest for this enterprise.
You must needs understand, since prove she true in this
(27:17):
your trial, you, my dearest friend whom only rather than
the world. Besides, I would have satisfied of her virtue,
shall see and best conceal my folly. Proof she weak
'tis better, you should note than any man who can
reform her and do me no wrong. Chemical metals and
bright gold itself by sight are not distinguished. But by
(27:39):
the test thought makes good wives, but trial makes the
best to the unskillful owner's eyes. Alike, the bristow sparkles
as the diamond, but by a lapidary the truth is found. Come,
you shall not deny me, do not.
Speaker 10 (27:56):
Wrong, so fair a wife, friend, and so virtual us
whose good name is a theme unto the world, make
not a wound with searching where there was none. Misfortune
Still such projects does pursue. He makes a false wife
that suspects a true Yet, since you so importune, give
(28:20):
me leave to ruminate a while, and I will straight
follow and give you an answer.
Speaker 9 (28:28):
You must do it.
Speaker 10 (28:29):
Exit assure yourself, dear Coxcomb, I will do it, or
strangely be denied. All's as I wished. This was my aim.
Although I have seemed strange. I know this fellow now
to be an ass a most unworthy husband. Though in
(28:52):
view he bears himself thus fair she knows it too.
Therefore the strong are my hopes to gain her, and
my dear friend that will have your wife tried. I'll
try her first, then trust her if I can. And
(29:13):
as you said, most wisely, I hope to be both
touched down to your wife and lapidary
Speaker 1 (29:23):
Exit end of Act one
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