Act 3

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Act three of Amends for Ladies by Nathan Field. This
is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the
public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit
LibriVox dot org. Act three seene one. Enter husband and subtle.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
She's a rare wife. Believe it, sir, We're all such.
We never should have false inheritors, pies.

Speaker 3 (00:30):
Friend. There is no woman in the world can hold
out in the end. If you shape with met in
one subject to assault her athlete for failing once, you
must not faint, but try another way. The passive woman's
minds are crooked and diverse. They have byways to lead
you to the palace of their pleasures, and you must

(00:51):
woo discreetly first observe the disposition of her. You attempt.
If she be spriteful and hero call possess her that
you are valiant and have spirit. Talk nothing but of
beating every man. That is your hindrance. Though you do
not do it, or dare not, tis no matter. Be

(01:13):
she free and of a liberal soul, Give bountlessly to
all your servants, and let your angels fly about the room,
although you borrow them. If she be witty. So must
your discourse get with what shifts soever you make for it,
though it cost you all your land. And then a
song or two is not a miss. Although you buy them.

(01:35):
There's many in the town will furnish you.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
But still I tell you you must use her roughly,
beat her face black and blue, take all her clothes
and give them to some punk. This will be ground
for me to work upon.

Speaker 3 (01:52):
All this I have done, I have left her now
as bare, that should I die, her fortune on my
conscience would be to marry some tobacco man. She has
nothing but an old black work waistcoat, which would serve
exceedingly well to sit at the shop, and light pipes
for the lousy footmen and sweet friend. First, here's a
jewel to present her. Then here's a sonnet rid against myself,

(02:16):
which has thine own. Thou shalt accost her with farewell
and happy success.

Speaker 2 (02:22):
Attend thee acxcit ha ha ah, he reads, fairest. Still
wilt thou be true to man? So false to thee?
Did he lend a husband's jew Thou didst owe him loyalty?
But will curses wanton blows breed no change in thy

(02:46):
white soul. Be not a fool to thy first vows.
Since his first breach doth thy faith control. No beauty
else could be so chaste. Think not thou, honorest woman. Then,
since by thy conscience or disgraced, are robbed of the
dear loves of men, then grant me my desire that

(03:11):
vowed to proof of real husband. His adulterate love took
ever man more pains to be a cuckold. Oh, monstrous age,
where men themselves we see study and pay for their
own infamy.

Speaker 1 (03:33):
Seem to enter engine made lord, proudly brother, like a
woman swords drawn.

Speaker 4 (03:41):
Give me my sister. I'll have her both thy heart.

Speaker 5 (03:47):
No earthly lord can pull her out of that till
he have plucked my heart first out. My Lord, we're
not inhospitable. I could wrung you here in my own house.
I am so full of woe for your lost sister, that,
by all my joys hope for in her my heart
weeps tears of blood. A whiter virgin and a worthier

(04:10):
had ne'er creation. Leada Swan was black to her virginity
and immaculate thoughts.

Speaker 4 (04:18):
Where hast thou hid her? Give her me again, for
by the god of vengeance, be she lost. The female
hate shall spring betwixt our names shall never die while
one of I the house survives, Our children shall at
seven years old, strike knives in one another.

Speaker 5 (04:42):
Let hell gap and take me quick if I know
where she is. But I am so charged with sorrow
for her loss, being the cause of it, as no
doubt I am that I had rather fall upon my
sword than breathe a minute.

Speaker 1 (04:58):
Longerfering to kill himself.

Speaker 4 (05:02):
Oh, sir, hold, thou shalt not need I have a
sword to bathe the knife, false blood, inhumane murderer.

Speaker 6 (05:12):
Good, sir, be pacified.

Speaker 7 (05:15):
I'll go.

Speaker 6 (05:16):
I'll run many a mile to find your sister out.
She never was so desperate of grace by violence to
rob herself of life and so her soul and danger.
Comfort sir, She's but retired somewhere on my life.

Speaker 1 (05:33):
Ingine to his brother.

Speaker 5 (05:35):
Prithee, Let me alone, do I stand to defend that
wretched life that is a doubt of hers? Here, worthy, Lord,
behold my breast, framed of thy sister's love. You it
for thou shalt strike, but honest stock, since she has gone,
that was the cause it lived.

Speaker 4 (05:56):
Out, false dissembler, ass not man married.

Speaker 5 (06:01):
No, behold, it is my younger brother.

Speaker 1 (06:04):
Dressed plucks off his head, tire a man.

Speaker 5 (06:08):
No woman that hath gold. The world intended for a
happier event than this that followed that she now is gone. Oh,
fond experiments of simple man, full through thy fate, since
all thy project meant, but mirth is now converted unto death.

Speaker 1 (06:27):
Lady, honor aside, Oh, do not burst me joy, that
modesty would let me show myself to finish all.

Speaker 4 (06:35):
Nay, then thou hast my sister somewhere villain tis plain,
now thou wilt still thy marriage. She is no match
for thee. Assure thyself. If all the law in England
or my friends can cross it, it shall not be.

Speaker 5 (06:53):
Would twere so well, and that I knew the lady
to be safe. Give me no ill words, sir. This
boy and I will wander like two pilgrims till we
find her. If you do love her as you talk,
do so. The love or grief that is expressed in
words is slight and easy, tis but shallow woe that

(07:14):
makes a noise deepest water. Stillest go. I love her
better than thy parents did, which is beyond a brother.

Speaker 1 (07:24):
Slave, thou liest hounds about to strike kill him?

Speaker 6 (07:31):
Oh, hold sir, you dishonor much your brother to counsel
him against hospitality to strike in his.

Speaker 5 (07:38):
Own house, You lord insolenta, I will fight with you.
Take this as a challenge, and set your time.

Speaker 4 (07:45):
To morrow morning. Injun tis that I covet and provoke thee.

Speaker 8 (07:51):
For will you not strike him now?

Speaker 5 (07:54):
No, my good boy is both discreet and just in
his advice. Thyes are to last, but for a day
give me thy hand Tomorrow morning thou shalt be no lord.

Speaker 4 (08:08):
Tomorrow noon thou shalt not be at all?

Speaker 5 (08:11):
Psh, why do you think so? Have not I arms
a soul as bold as yours? A sword is true?
I do not think your honor in the field without
your lordship's liveries will have odds.

Speaker 4 (08:25):
Farewell, and let's have no excuses.

Speaker 1 (08:29):
Pray exit proudly.

Speaker 5 (08:32):
I warrant you pray, say your prayers tonight, and bring
an inkhorn where ye to set your hand to a
satisfactory recantation.

Speaker 6 (08:43):
Exit a wretched maid whose sword can I pray for?
But by the other's loss I must find death, Oh,
odious brother, if he kill my love, O bloody love.
If you should kill my brother, Despair on both sides
of my discontent tells me no safety rusts but.

Speaker 1 (09:04):
To prevent exit. Scene three and her widow and bold
like Princox.

Speaker 9 (09:11):
What's o'clock, Princox?

Speaker 7 (09:14):
Bedtime? And please you, madam.

Speaker 9 (09:17):
Come undress me. Ah, would God had made me a man?

Speaker 7 (09:24):
Why, madam?

Speaker 9 (09:25):
Because I would have been in bed as soon as stay.
We are so long unpinning and unlacing.

Speaker 7 (09:33):
Yet many offers, Madam, are quickly undone sometime. But herein
we have the advantage of men. Though they can be
a bed sooner than we, it's a great while. When
they are abed here they can get up.

Speaker 9 (09:49):
Indeed, if they be well laid Princox, one cannot get
them up again in haste.

Speaker 7 (09:58):
Oh God, madam, how mean you that? I hope you know?
Ill things taken into a gentle woman's ears are the
quick corruptors of maiden modesty. I would be loth to
continue in any service unfit for my virgin estate, or
where the world should take any notice of light behavior

(10:21):
in the lady I follow, For madam, the main point
of chastity in a lady is to build the rock
of a good opinion amongst the people by circumstances, and
a fair show she must make see non caste tamen corte, Madam.
And though wit be a wanton Madam, yet I beseech

(10:44):
your ladyship for your own credit and mine. Let the
bridle of judgment be always in the chaps of it,
to give it head or restrain it according as time
and place shall be convenient.

Speaker 9 (11:00):
Precise, and learned princocks. Dost not thou go to blackfriars.

Speaker 7 (11:06):
Most frequently, Madam, unworthy vessel that I am to partake
or retain any of the delicious jew that is there distilled?

Speaker 9 (11:16):
But why shouldst thou ask me what I meant? Even now?
I tell thee there is nothing uttered but carries a
double sense, one good, one bad. But if the hero
apply it to the worst, the fault lies in his
or her corrupt understanding, not in the speaker. For to

(11:38):
answer your Latin pravis omnia prava, believe me, wench if
ill come into my fancy, I will purge it by speech.
The less will remain within a pox of these nice
mouthed creatures. I have seen a narrow pair of lips
utter as broad a tail as can be for money. Indeed,

(12:02):
an ill tale unuttered is like a maggot in a nut.
It spoils the whitest kernel.

Speaker 7 (12:10):
You speak most intelligently, Madam, hast not.

Speaker 9 (12:15):
Done yet Thou art an old fumbler. I perceive methinks
thou dost not do things like a woman.

Speaker 7 (12:23):
Madam. I do my endeavor, and the best can do
no more. They that could do better, it may be,
would not, and then twere all won. But rather than
be a burden to your ladyship, I protest sincerely, I
would beg my bread. Therefore, I beseech you, madam, to

(12:46):
hold me excused, and let my good will stand for
the action.

Speaker 9 (12:53):
Let thy good will stand for the action.

Speaker 10 (12:57):
If good will would.

Speaker 9 (12:59):
Do it, There's many a lady in this land would
be content with her old lord. And thou canst not
be a burthen to me without thou lie upon me,
and that were preposterous in thy sex. Take no exceptions
at what I say. Remember you said stand even now

(13:20):
there was a word for one of your coat.

Speaker 7 (13:22):
Indeed, I swear, Madam, you are very merry. God send
you good luck. Has your ladyship no waters that you
use at bed time.

Speaker 9 (13:34):
No in troth, princox, no complexion, none but mine own,
I swear, didst thou ever use any.

Speaker 7 (13:44):
No indeed, madam, Now and then a piece of scarlet,
also a little white and red serus. But in troth, madam,
I have an excellent receipt for a night mask, as
ever you heard?

Speaker 9 (14:00):
What is it?

Speaker 7 (14:01):
Ball's grease worn ouns Jordan almonds blanched and ground, a
quartum red rose water, half a pint, mare's a yorin
newly covered half a score drops.

Speaker 9 (14:18):
Whew, no more of thy medicine. If thou lovest me,
few of our knights Errand, when they meet a fair
lady Errand in the morning, would think her face had
lain so pleast that all night thou hast had some
apothecary to thy sweetheart. But leaving this face physic for

(14:40):
by my troth, it may make others have good ones,
but it makes me a scurvy one. Which of all
the gallons in the town wouldst thou make a husband
of if thou mightst have him for thy choosing.

Speaker 7 (14:55):
In truth, madam, But you'll say I speak blindly, but
let my love stand.

Speaker 9 (15:00):
I think it not fit. Indeed, your love should stand
in the middle.

Speaker 7 (15:05):
I say, master, belt, oh do but mark him madam.
His leg, his hand, his body, and all his members
stand in print.

Speaker 9 (15:21):
Out upon deep print. Cox No methinks well, trites a
handsome fellow. I like not these starched gallons, masculine faces
and masculine gestures. Please me best, how like you master
part of fi upon him? When he is in his

(15:44):
scarlet clothes. He looks like a man of wax. And
I had a sleeve have a dog of wax. I
do not think, but he lies in a case of nights.
He walks as if you were made of gins, as
if nature had wrought him in a frame. I have
seen him sit discontented a whole play because one of

(16:06):
the pearls of his band was fallen out of his reach.

Speaker 7 (16:10):
To order again, why bold matter is clean and contrary?

Speaker 9 (16:16):
Aye, But that's as ill each extreme is alike vicious.
His careful carelessness is his study. He spends as much
time to make himself slovenly as the other to be spruce.
His scarters hang over upon the claps of his legs,
his doublet unbuttoned and his points untrusted, his hair in

(16:40):
his eyes like a drunkard, and his hat worn on
the hinder part of his head, as if he cared
more for his memory than his wit. Makes him look
as if he were distracted. Princox, I would have you
lie with me. I do not love to lie alone.

Speaker 7 (16:59):
With all my heart, Madam?

Speaker 9 (17:02):
Are you clean skinned?

Speaker 7 (17:04):
Clean skinned? Madam? There's a question, And do you think
I have the itch? I am an english woman. I protest,
I scorn the motion.

Speaker 9 (17:17):
Nay, prithee, Princox, be not angry. It's a sign of honesty,
I can tell you.

Speaker 7 (17:23):
Faith, Madam, I think tis but simple honesty that dwells
at the sign of the scab.

Speaker 9 (17:30):
Well, well, come to bed and we'll talk further of
all these matters.

Speaker 1 (17:36):
Excit fortune.

Speaker 8 (17:38):
I thank THEE.

Speaker 7 (17:40):
I will hold thee eyes for this good turn. Now
she is mine. Indeed, thou hast given me that success.
My project hoped of false disguise. Thou hast been true
to me. And now be bold that thou mayst welcome.

Speaker 1 (17:57):
Be exit seene for enter horbang, bats, tear chaps, spill blood,
and drawer several patches on their faces.

Speaker 5 (18:09):
Damn me.

Speaker 11 (18:10):
We will have more wine, Sarah, or we'll down into
the cellar and drown thee in a butt of malmsey.
And here are the hogsheads and pieces.

Speaker 12 (18:19):
Hang him rogue. Shall he die as Honora bless the
Duke of Clarence. Buy this flesh. Let's have wine, or
I will cut thy head off and have a roasted
and eaten and pie corner next Bartholom you tied.

Speaker 13 (18:33):
Gentlemen, I beseech you consider where you are, Turnbull Street
a civil place. Do not disturb a number of poor gentlewomen.
Master hohrbang, master bots, master tear chaps, and master spill blood.

(18:54):
The Watch are abroad.

Speaker 10 (18:56):
The Watch Hawaii rogue. Ha not we the Kings of Turnbull?

Speaker 13 (19:02):
Yes, marry are ye sir? For my part? If you'll
be quiet, I'll have a sign made of ye, and
it shall be called the four Kings of Turnbull.

Speaker 14 (19:14):
Will you fetch the wine? And a whrror Sarah, Why.

Speaker 13 (19:18):
What do you think of me?

Speaker 7 (19:20):
Am?

Speaker 13 (19:20):
I an infidel, a Turk, a pagan, a saracen. I
have been at best Turnips. And she swears all the
gentlemen went to see a play at the Fortune and
are not come in yet. And she believes they suck
with the players.

Speaker 11 (19:39):
Damn me, we must kill all those rogues. We shall
never keep a horror honest for them.

Speaker 1 (19:45):
Go your way, Sarah.

Speaker 10 (19:46):
We'll have but a gallon apiece and announce of tobacco.

Speaker 13 (19:50):
I beseech you let it be but pottles.

Speaker 10 (19:54):
Sorry, you rogue.

Speaker 1 (19:56):
Exit drawer, Enter Well Tried and lord free, simple.

Speaker 14 (20:01):
Muster well Tried, Welcome as my soul.

Speaker 1 (20:05):
Enter drawer with wine plate and tobacco.

Speaker 10 (20:09):
Bible, lad how dosto as welcome as the tobacco and
a wine boy.

Speaker 11 (20:16):
Damn me, thou art.

Speaker 8 (20:19):
Bless me and save you. Gentlemen, they have not to
unface among them. I would wish myself well from them.
I would I put out something upon my return I
had as lief be at a barmeathos pray.

Speaker 15 (20:34):
Welcome this gentleman.

Speaker 1 (20:36):
Spill blood aside? Is he valiant, well tried? Aside?

Speaker 15 (20:42):
Faith, he is a little faulty that way, somewhat of
a bash fall and backward nature. Yet I have brought
him amongst you because he hath a great desire to
be fleshed.

Speaker 8 (20:52):
Yes, faith, sir, I have a great desire to be fleshed. Now,
Master well Tried said he would bring me to the
only schmongers in the town.

Speaker 15 (21:02):
Well tried aside, sir, he cannot endure the sight of steel.

Speaker 14 (21:08):
Not steel.

Speaker 1 (21:09):
Zounce, claps his sword over the table. Oh now I
am going faints. Here's to you, sir.

Speaker 6 (21:19):
I'll fetch you again with a cup of sack.

Speaker 8 (21:21):
I pleasure, sir, and begin to you in a cup of.

Speaker 1 (21:24):
Claret, well tried aside.

Speaker 15 (21:27):
Hark you, my lord? What will you say if I
make you beat all these out of the room?

Speaker 1 (21:33):
Fee, simple aside?

Speaker 8 (21:35):
What will I say? Why? I say it is impossible?
It is not immortal?

Speaker 15 (21:40):
Man, Well, drink a pace. If any brave you outbrave him,
I'll second you. They are a company of cowards.

Speaker 4 (21:48):
Believe me by this.

Speaker 8 (21:50):
Light, I would they wales. If I thought so, I
would be upon the jack of one of him instantly
that same little damn me. But master well tired. If
they be not very valiant, or dare not fight? How
can they buy such cuts and cashes and such broken faces?

Speaker 15 (22:10):
Why their horror? Strike them with cans and glasses and
quart pots? If they have nothing by them, they strike
them with a pox. And you know that will they
once know? As flat as a basket hill dagger?

Speaker 8 (22:22):
Well, let me alone.

Speaker 11 (22:24):
This bully dares not drink?

Speaker 15 (22:26):
Did I not, Sir Well said, speak to him, man,
you had best try me, sir.

Speaker 10 (22:34):
We four will drink four healths to four of the
seven deadly sins pride, drunkenness, rough and lottery.

Speaker 8 (22:45):
I'll pledge him, and I thank you. I know them all.
Here's one which of the sins by my troth even
to pride?

Speaker 15 (22:55):
Why Well said? And in this do not you only
pledge your mistress's health, but all the woman's in the world.

Speaker 8 (23:04):
So now this little cup to wrath, because he and
I are strangers.

Speaker 11 (23:09):
Pray, boy, damn me, he shall be aurorer.

Speaker 8 (23:13):
Damn me. I will be Aurora, or shall cost me a.

Speaker 10 (23:16):
Fall the next place at falls?

Speaker 1 (23:19):
Pray let him have it?

Speaker 8 (23:21):
Well? I have two of my healths to drink, yet
nachery and drunkenness, which even shall go together?

Speaker 7 (23:29):
Why?

Speaker 15 (23:29):
How now, my lord a moralist?

Speaker 1 (23:32):
Damn me?

Speaker 10 (23:33):
Ardou a lord?

Speaker 14 (23:35):
What virtues hastell?

Speaker 8 (23:37):
Virtues enough to keep air damning company in England? He
thinks you should think it virtue enough to be a lord?

Speaker 14 (23:46):
Will you not pledge these healths? Master Well tried, will
have no observers?

Speaker 15 (23:51):
Why monsieur poor bang, I am no playmaker, and for
pledging your health, I love nerd of the four you
drink too so.

Speaker 10 (23:59):
Well zoons you shall pledge.

Speaker 15 (24:02):
Me this, shall I?

Speaker 8 (24:05):
What's the matter? Dost hear me? Master Weltride, use thine
own discretion? Thou wilt not pledge him? Say so, and
let me see if erra damn me? Of them all
will force.

Speaker 10 (24:16):
Thee well puff? Will your lordship take any tobacco? You
lord with the white face.

Speaker 11 (24:24):
Heart, he cannot put it through his nose.

Speaker 8 (24:28):
Faith you have narrow nos to put it through. Do
hear I blow your face? Sarah?

Speaker 15 (24:33):
You pledge me, sir, indeed, I will not damn me.

Speaker 8 (24:38):
He shall not?

Speaker 11 (24:39):
Then, Lord, use your own words. Damn me is mine?
I'm known by it all the town?

Speaker 1 (24:45):
Or do you hear?

Speaker 8 (24:47):
It is as free for me as you do you
hear patch.

Speaker 15 (24:51):
I have paid more fort Nay, I'll bear him witness
and the truth his soul lies fort my lord will.

Speaker 10 (25:00):
But you are grown proud since you got good clothes
and have followed your.

Speaker 1 (25:04):
Lord strikes and they scuffle.

Speaker 14 (25:08):
I have known you lousy, well tried.

Speaker 1 (25:11):
Roraer you lie, draw and fight, throw pots and stools.

Speaker 10 (25:17):
Oh Jesu, you us cleave or be cleft, pellmel sles,
arms and legs hot.

Speaker 8 (25:27):
Let me alone with.

Speaker 1 (25:28):
Him, break off and excuent all the swaggerers.

Speaker 15 (25:32):
Why now thou art are worthy?

Speaker 8 (25:34):
White?

Speaker 15 (25:35):
Indeed, a lord of Lorn.

Speaker 8 (25:37):
I am a madman? Look? Is not that one of
their heads?

Speaker 1 (25:43):
Fine?

Speaker 16 (25:44):
No, my lord me, but tis I would not wish
you to cross me a purpose if you have anything
to say to me, so I am ready.

Speaker 15 (25:56):
Oh pray Lord, many a rora thus is made by wine.
Come it is one of their heads, my lord?

Speaker 4 (26:04):
Why so then I will.

Speaker 8 (26:05):
Have my humor. If you love me, Let's go break windows.

Speaker 15 (26:10):
Somewhere, Dora, take your plate for the reckoning. There are
some of their cloaks. I will be no shot longed
as such.

Speaker 13 (26:18):
God's blessing or your heart's for thus ridding the house
of them.

Speaker 1 (26:24):
Excunt end of Act three