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September 8, 2025 10 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Chapter one of and Iron Tales. This is the LibriVox recording.
All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more
information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Recording
by April six zero nine zero, California, United States of America,
and Iron Tales by John Bangs, Tom and the and Irons.

(00:26):
It was perfectly natural in one respect. Anyhow, there was
really no reason in the world why Tom should not
lie upon the great bearskin rug in front of the
library fire those cold winter nights if he wanted to,
nor need any one be surprised that he should want to.

(00:46):
It was indeed a most delightful place to lie in.
The bear skin was soft and in every way comfortable
and comforting. The fireplace itself was one of those huge,
hospitable affairs that might pass in some apartment houses in
our narrow, cooped up city streets for a butler's pantry
or small reception room. In fact, in the summer, Tom

(01:08):
used to sit in the fireplace and pretend he was
in his office, transacting business with such of his sister's
dolls as could be induced to visit him there, giving
orders to imaginary clerks and book keepers, and keeping an
equally fanciful office boy continually on the run. And then,
apart from the rug and the fireplace, it was a

(01:30):
beautiful room in which they were. Tom's father was very
fond of books, and although he was a great many
years older than Tom, he had not forgotten how to
enjoy the very same kind of books that Tom liked.
He was not ashamed to have one little niche of
his library filled with the stories which had delighted him

(01:51):
in his boyhood days, and which still continued to please him.
And of course this lent an additional charm to the library.
In Tom's eyes, it held his heroes, and on some
of those drowsy nights, when the only sounds to break
the stillness of the room were the scratching of his
father's pen, the soft humming of some little tune by

(02:13):
his mother, sitting and sewing by the evening lamp, and
the fierce crackling of the burning logs, Tom could almost
see these heroes stepping down from the shelves, and, like
so many phantoms, flitting in and about the room. In fact,
upon one occasion, Tom is convinced he did see these
very people having a dance upon the great chiled hearth.

(02:35):
But of that you shall hear later. There were many
other things in the library beside his heroes that interested Tom.
There was a little Japanese ivory god that used to
sit up on the mantel shelf and gaze wisely at him,
as much as to say, dear me boy, what a
lot I could tell you if I only would then too.

(02:55):
There was a very handsome vase on top of one
of the bookcases that had two remarkable dragons climbing up
its sides, the tail of one of them so fixed
that if anyone chose to use the vase for a picture,
the tail would make a very convenient handle, at which
the other dragon always appeared to be laughing heartily, which

(03:16):
he had no reason to do, because his own tail
was not arranged any too gracefully. But the things that
next to Jack the Giant Killer, and Beauty and the Beast,
and Tom Thumb, and his other heroes and heroines Tom
liked the most, were too great to Brizen, and irons
that stood in the fireplace. To Tom, these and irons,

(03:38):
though up to the night when our story begins he
had never seen them move, seemed almost to live. They
had big, round, good natured faces that shone like so
much gold. Their necks were slight and graceful. But as
they developed downward toward their handsome feet, the and irons
grew more portly, until finally they came to look very

(04:00):
very much like a pair of amiable sea serpents without
much length. Tom's uncle said they looked like cats, with
sunflowers for heads, swan necks for bodies, and very little
of the cat about them save the claws. This description
made Tom laugh, but the more he thought about it,
the more truthful did it seem to him to be.

(04:21):
For so long a time as Tom could remember, summer
and winter, those and irons had sat staring stolidly ahead
in their accustomed place, and not until that December night
had they even so much as winked at him. But
on that occasion they more than made up for all
their previous silence and seeming unsocialability. Tom was lying on

(04:42):
the rug as usual, and I am afraid was almost asleep.
The logs were burning fiercely, and at first Tom thought
that the words he heard spoken were nothing but their
crackling and hissing. But in a minute he changed his
mind about that for the very good reason that the
left hand Iron, as Tom's uncle once called it, winked

(05:03):
his eye at Tom and said hello, sleepyhead. Tom only
returned to the wink. He was too much surprised to
say anything. His name isn't sleepyhead, said the right hand iron,
with a grin. It's Thomas de Pate. What's the dea
stand for, asked the other dozy Thomas dozy Pate, exclaimed

(05:24):
the right hand iron. His ancestors were sleepy heads on
his mother's side and dozy pates on his father's side.
Tisn't so at all, cried Tom indignantly. My mamma wasn't
a sleepy head, and my name isn't dozy Pate. He's
such a sleepyhead he doesn't know his own name, said
the left hand iron. That's the curious thing about sleepy

(05:46):
heads and the dozy Pates. They very seldom know their
own names, and even when they do, they always deny
that they are what they are. Why I really believe
if I told Tom here that he was a dormouse,
deny it and say he was a boy. I am
a boy, shouted Tom stoutly, and I am not a dormouse.

(06:07):
Both of the andirons laughed heartily at this, and the
right hand iron dancing a little jig, saying over and
over again, this couplet, he can't be very smart. I whiz.
If he can't see what he is, get him a mirror,
said the left hand iron. We can't blame him for
thinking he is a boy, because everybody has told him

(06:27):
he is a boy, except ourselves, and being asleepyhead, he
believes as a rule what he is told. If it
is pleasant to believe, well, I can't see why he
objects to being a dormouse, said the right hand iron.
I think dormice are very handsome and just too sweet
and amiable to live. They are much pleasanter mice than

(06:48):
window mice and stare mice. Don't you think so? Indeed?
I do, returned the left hand iron. And Tom is
about the finest dormouse I ever saw, And I wish
he'd let us get acquainted with him, so do I
said the other. But if he doesn't, it's his own loss.
You and I can go off to Santa Clausville by

(07:08):
ourselves and have quite as good a time, if not
better than if he were along with us. I've noticed
one thing, my dear lefty. Two's best. Anyhow, two people
in an omnibus where there's but one settee can both
be seated with less fuss than if the twain were three.
If there is candy four but four, this maxim still

(07:31):
holds true, each one will get so much the more.
If there are only two, two boys upon a tee
or board can have just twice the fun that any
seesaw can afford if there's another one. So I say,
what if he doesn't come, You and I will enjoy
ourselves just as much. There will be more candy for us.

(07:52):
We won't have to divide the good time we have
up into more than two parts. And what is more,
neither of us will have to carry the door doormouse
Here The two and irons gave a sidelong glance at
Tom and saw that he was smiling. What are you
laughing at? Asked the right hand iron, Eh, dormouse. If
i'll be a dormouse, will you take me off on

(08:13):
your good time with you? Asked Tom? Certainly, But we
can't take anybody who denies that he is what he is,
or who says that his name doesn't belong to him,
but I can't tell a story, said Tom. Nobody asked
you to returned the right hand iron. All we ask
is that you'll say nothing about it. If we say

(08:34):
your name is Sleepyhead, you needn't try to make people
think we don't know what we are talking about by
saying that your name isn't Sleepyhead, but Tommy wide Awake,
or Billy Lemonstick or something else. And when we choose
to state that you are a dormouse, we want you
to be a dormouse and not go crying out through
the street. I'm a huckleberry. In the countries we visit,

(08:57):
people think we are the wisest of the world, and
what we say no one ever dares dispute. So you see,
my dear dormouse, said the other We couldn't possibly take
you off with us unless you fall in with our
plans and submit to our calling you anything we please.
I don't see why you are not willing to admit
that I am a boy, though, insisted Tom, who, although

(09:22):
he was extremely anxious to go off with the Andirons,
did not really like to lose sight of the fact
that he was a boy. What good does it do you,
or me, or anybody else for me to admit that
I am a dormouse? For instance? A little tail, which
I will wag for you, said the right hand Iron,
will explain how that is. Did you ever know a

(09:45):
boy named Ebenezer J. Carrott? Tom, No, I never heard
of any person with such an absurd name as that,
returned Tom. Well, you are very fortunate not to have
been one of Ebenezer's particular friends, said the right hand Iron.
If you had been, The story I am going to
tell you would have made you very unhappy. As it is,

(10:07):
not having known Ebenezer, and having in fact taken a
dislike to him because of his name, the story will
amuse you more than otherwise good, said Tom. I like
to be amused, that being the case, said the Andiron,
I will proceed at once to tell you the story
of Ebenezer. End of Chapter one
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