Pay Attention To What Matters

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hello, Hello, Hello, beautiful Love Wins. Greetings to you all.
This is Grace on a journey and you are listening
to Angelic Healing Express. Welcome to the newcomers and to

(00:39):
those of you returning, my fellow travelers, welcome back. We
are happy to have you and I am happy to
be back. How's everybody doing. I hope everyone is in

(01:04):
a good place. I hope everyone took the time today
to check in with themselves and moved in the frequency
of self love, as I always encourage you to do. So.

(01:37):
Some of you need to invest more time in your schedules,

(02:02):
especially when it comes to doctor's appointments. Have a calendar

(02:23):
and be faithful to it. Keep up with all of
your appointments, whether it's to the dentists, what have you.
And that's because you would like to attract health into

(02:48):
your life. When you are in that good health, when
you are in that season where you want to maintain wellness,
there are efforts that you must make that is in

(03:19):
alignment with what you're accing for. So, if you're aksing
God for good health, what are you doing for good health?
And start with the basics. Somebody needed to hear that

(03:50):
I'm curious about today's energy. There is love in the air,

(04:20):
there is wholeness, Intuition is on the rise, Wisdom is

(04:53):
being applied in decision making. Due to that, there are
some individuals that are experiencing sadness because they do not

(05:18):
want you to have the support needed for you to
grow and attract wellness. They regret the fact that they

(05:47):
isolated you because it brought you in synclin hermit confirmation.
In that hermitcys in you group, you gain knowledge and

(06:12):
through that knowledge you learn the formula to attract and
manifest more of what you want in your life. Your
vision comes with guidance. There's restriction to leadership in areas

(06:59):
of spirituality. So there are those experience in stress because
of your transformation, because of your generosity, because of your success,

(08:01):
success in partnership, Angel of Destiny, Angel of abundance. It's

(08:24):
a lot, a lot of information concerning today's energy. But
I'd like to read the cards that I received before

(08:46):
I started today's episode. The cards that were released to
meet is pay attention to thoughts and ideas that come

(09:09):
to you, all right, so you have to remain alert
regarding your intuition, independence, trust your inner knowledge and act

(09:42):
upon it without delay. Your dreams have revealed to you
that you are protected and you are safe. Divine order,

(10:21):
everything is how it needs to be right now, look
past the illusion and see underlining order. Support. Nurture yourselves

(11:10):
and nurture those that are put on your path. Both
activities are important lessons to be learned, and those are

(11:35):
words of wisdom. You're yet rer receiving a lot of
support through angel therapy, so it is important for you

(11:56):
to be grateful for all that you have been given.
Give your cares and worries to us angels and allow
us to take your burdens. As I've shared before, angels

(12:20):
have different responsibilities and different specialties and different assignments, and
those of you that are newer to this journey, I've
identified that the first step is connecting to your guardian angel.

(12:51):
They've been with you since the beginning. Every new beginning
they are present, and so the questions that you have
they have answers to. It's important for you to build

(13:18):
with them. That's why they're there. One of the downloads
I received last night was their most essential role in

(13:40):
your life is maintaining your wellness in all areas. Yes,
they are there to assist in a magnitude of ways,

(14:01):
but you have to be okay in order for you
to be in the energy to give of yourself. And
so even in giving, even in finding your soul's purpose

(14:27):
and devoting yourself to your missions, don't let anything get
in the way of you being well understand the flow

(14:54):
of life. This is why I always encourage you to
scan yoursel from crown to root and pay attention to
what areas need your attention. Get comfortable with asking yourself,

(15:19):
why do you feel this body sensation? And if something
doesn't feel right, get comfortable with aksing your filth yourself
what are you going to do to assist you with

(15:41):
that area? And a sended master is present and the
information that is being relayed to you is being delivered

(16:07):
with their assistance. This assended master in particular wants you
to be in the energy of abundance and wants me

(16:27):
to remind you that there's a little thunder I heard outside.
Wants me to remind you that, yes, it's something that
you can co create and manifest when you are in

(16:50):
the best of intentions. Let's see what else these ascended
masters have to say. Kay, Feminine energy m you know

(18:00):
all the parts of you. Everything matters from the beginning
of the journey to the destination. Conduct a life review.

(18:32):
Connect the dots from your role as a daughter, a sister,
a wife, and mother. Pay attention to the patterns. What

(18:57):
lessons are being Redirect it to you time and time again.
Is there anything that you're missing? We're gonna pause and

(19:17):
we're gonna take a deep breath. Hold it takes hell. Now.
Meditate on your journey as a daughter, a sister, a wife,

(19:50):
a mother. What patterns are you recognizing? What lessons are
being repeated? Invite your angels and the ascended masters to

(20:25):
bring you clarity, to help you to see what you
are overlooking. Too many of you are obsessed with trends.

(21:36):
Certain terms are overly used to fit in, to manipulate,

(22:04):
to lead us stray. Who tells you your truth? Is
it a reader you listen to, a teacher, you follow

(22:32):
what your peers are doing? Or does it come from within?
Are your intentions genuine? Did God confirm it? Twin flame?

(23:02):
Those of you that will encounter your twin flame being
the awareness of your call to being whole before arriving

(23:30):
to this plateau, your twin flame is not meant to
fix you. You meet, possess, see your highest potential. Your

(24:18):
twin flame is not a sign to make you. It
is two powerhouses that unite that make the empire bright.

(24:59):
Are you comp we are you whole? Are you balancing
your feminine and masculine energies? Are you distorted or are
you divine? This card in particular landed on independence. You

(25:30):
know what to do, clear boundaries, direct communication, judgment, meditate

(26:01):
on that. Take a deep breath, hold it, excel, illusions, mystery, doubt, confusion, secrets,

(27:32):
follow your intuition. You are safe. Listen, so listen to
the guidance you are receiving by way of your intuition. Now,

(27:58):
as I've always shared an you will always continue to share.
Due to manipulation that those with darker energies engage in,

(28:25):
I would always recommend that you as confirmation from your angels,
from God, your ascended masters, all those that support you
for your highest good, because there's something called mind manipulation

(28:46):
that occurs, and many times you are not aware. This

(29:07):
is why I always include I master my own mind
in my affirmations. Declare it, reclaim it, move in your

(29:42):
free will, set boundaries, invest time in writing their declarations

(30:29):
and how they must be observed. Now, those of you

(30:53):
who have not been taught lessons in this area yet,
fortunately I have. This is why I've always encouraged you
to invest in a journal. I have declarations what I

(31:21):
allow and what I don't allow, concerning my vessel, concerning
the essence of me, what is free from manipulation, past, present, future,

(31:49):
in all realms, in all dimensions, in all space and time.
There needs to be an effort to refocus on what
really matters. That should begin with you. For example, I

(32:31):
do not allow any intrusive energies to invade my privacy.

(32:54):
Access denied. Now that's just one declaration, and that's just
the first sentence of the declaration. Because I have to

(33:15):
close the doors, I have to close the portals. My
mind must be secured and protected by my angels. You
invite your team to take their position and fulfill their

(33:44):
role in your life. This is why it is important
for you to be aware on your surroundings, mine, by
and soul. When certain attacks are being brought to your attention,

(34:09):
I will continue to repeat it is not to put
you in a spirit of anxiety or paranoia. It is
to offer you directions on how to pray. There's time

(34:37):
for prayer, There's time to right your declarations. I am
free from my manipulation, access, deny, And instead of wasting

(34:57):
time and engaging in spell work that interferes with the
free will of others attracting carma into your life, consider

(35:18):
the option of applying effort on what benefits you. I
am free from my manipulation, past, present, future in all rooms,

(35:49):
in all dimensions, in all space and time. Why is
that necessary? Why do we include past, present, future in
all realms, in all dimensions, in all space and time.
Those in the energy of wickedness that want to trauma

(36:14):
bond to you utilize all these categories to flare up
past traumas or to put you in repeated cycles in

(36:43):
the future. They look into your fortune. They pay attention
to what areas can be affected by triggering past hurts.

(37:17):
For example, an individual disappointed you and was deceitful in
your past. So they go ahead and they look into

(37:40):
your future. And when they pinpoint in this season, she
will meet so and so, or he will meet so
and so. They do spell work that everyone you meet
you will see the past individual in them. There will

(38:01):
be similarities that will trigger you to these past traumas
in memory. People, everything comes with intention. I don't say
what I have to say just to fill in space.

(38:26):
Everything I do and say is strategic. It may be
regarded as overwhelming in effort, but notice I remain protected.

(38:58):
You must do the work, and although it may appear
to be stressful when you think about all the details
that need review, take comfort in knowing the priorities are

(39:28):
the first things that will be revealed to you. This
is the type of assistance that your spiritual support teams
make available to you. They're here for the journey. They
know what's up next. They'll guide you to teachers, to readings,

(39:56):
to podcasts to workshops that provide the information necessary to
keep you on your path. When you have the best
of intentions, why could this be overwhelming? Because you're realizing

(40:33):
that confirmation, what you had all this confidence in is
not enough. You feel as if you're going backwards. But

(41:01):
this step, it's called recalibration, to put you in adjustment
with the present. With God, there's continuity of life, and

(41:42):
this is why you have to be flexible when it
comes to alignment, because it's always for your greater good,

(42:08):
focus upon your strengths. Divine order. Everything is how it
needs to be right now. This is basically reviewing what
I just mentioned to you. It's happening in perfect divine sequence.

(42:36):
You're not supposed to be my PA on my page
in my textbook, and I'm not supposed to be on
your page in your textbook because we are on different paths,
we have different assignments, we have different lessons to learn.
Some of the tests I've passed you haven't passed yet

(42:59):
confirmation and so there are no cheat sheets. They are
just opportunities for group study, and you could make the

(43:28):
most of it, or you can disregard it. It's your
free will. Sadness. Some people are sad because they didn't

(43:59):
invest in in what truly matters. They allowed themselves to
be sucked into the illusion of grander and now having

(44:25):
to deal with the reality of being left behind. If
you don't find yourself in that situation, give thanks and
continue to do the next right. Then if you do
find yourself in that situation, God is calling. It's time

(45:04):
for you to meet face to face and get things straight. Nurture,

(45:31):
retreat into nature. I want to encourage you to spend
time outdoors, but also bring outdoors indoors. Some of you

(45:51):
have gardens outdoors, but you should also have plants indoors.
Consider projects such as growing your own herbs indoors. You

(46:16):
wanna surround yourself with life as much as you can flowers.
You're being encouraged to beautify your homes with flowers alright now.

(46:44):
I'm feeling led to tell you make sure they're from
a trustworthy source. I don't accept flowers from everybody because
I know what it can come with. In fact, just

(47:10):
watching YouTube, I learned that there's a specific plan that
people gift each other around Christmas that is specifically used

(47:31):
to curse you. I heard it on YouTube and I
remember what it's called, but I'll leave it to you
to do the research. Fortunately, I can afford my own

(48:00):
flowers confirmation. Secondly, those in my life that would believe
that I deserve flowers always honor me, and for that

(48:30):
I am thankful. Flowers should not only be between those
that you find in a romantic relationship. It could be

(48:54):
between mother and child, it could be between friends. There
are many different relationships that can offer opportunities of giving

(49:26):
others their flowers. While they're still alive. But in the
world that we're living in, we know today we must
be alert, we must be bold. I'll give you an example.

(49:53):
When I went to have my son, actually there was
a nurse that rubbed me the wrong way. And the

(50:22):
reason why is when she met me, the first thing
she told me is what another nurse told her about me,
and that she's aware. And I reminded her that she

(50:58):
needs to be in a professional demeanor when she's engaging
with me, because I don't care what the other nurse

(51:18):
told you, how you were briefed or whatever. I can
communicate for myself, and if you are introducing yourself in
this manner, maybe I need to speak to your superior
before this goes in a direction that neither of us

(51:44):
will be pleased with. She didn't even know what happened
between me and the other nurse, and I don't even

(52:11):
have to get into that, but there's something that happened
to me that was due to some type of discrimination,

(52:46):
and so this is why I spoke up for myself.
And so I found it to be humorous that the
next nurse that was coming and briefing me on what
the other nurse briefed her on was the same race

(53:09):
as I. What are you talking about last time? I
notice you don't fit her description. She was of a

(53:35):
different nationality, however, and it's been in the news recently
of their own prejudices regarding Americans. So I understood what

(54:06):
that's all about, confirmation. I understood why she stood with
who she stood. But the point is, before I left
the hospital, she gave me a gift. She said, here,

(54:39):
you could put it in the baby's nursery. And I'm
so tempted to say her nationality, but I'm not. But
I know those people very well, and I knew for
damn sure I wouldn't even enter my house with that gift.

(55:10):
And before I even got out of the car, my
mom was like, where's the gift that that lady gave you?
And I said, it's over here, and she's like, give
it to me, confirmation, And I just gave it to

(55:31):
her and it went straight in the trash. Can you
need to follow your intuition if something is off, observe.

(55:52):
That doesn't mean you have to accuse the person of
doing such and such. That just means you have to
move with wisdom. A gate was closed just now, so

(56:21):
whatever entrance she wanted to get into was close to
her because I did not take it into my house. Now,
some people wouldn't even put it in their garbage can.
Some people would throw it on the hospital grounds, throw

(56:43):
it away in a garbage can on the hospital grounds.
But already k you as I received it, already was praying.
I rebuke whatever intention you have to bring destruction. See,

(57:08):
I don't save the prayer for later. As I'm giving
you that eye contact, trust and believe you're being disarmed.

(57:30):
I don't trust people like that. And it's definitely not
the first or last time people tried me because another
time that we had to put someone in check, I

(57:53):
went to a funeral and we didn't notice lady like
she lost her mind. We didn't know this lady. And
I'm sitting down with family at the table. I believe
my child was like one. And there's a specific lady

(58:17):
with a specific nationality. It's always them with a specific nationality.
And she had the audacity to try to touch my child.

(58:45):
Mind you, she wasn't even engaging with him. He wasn't
even engaging with her. He was sleeping. Not all cultures
are comfortable with you coming to touch the baby's head
and people need to respect personal space. Okay, So homegirl

(59:14):
came to try something funny and my godmother was sitting
right next to me. She said, mmm, said bamis I?
Bamis I at all? And basically what she was saying,
I don't like this. I don't like this at all,
because her intuition was like like she knew right away

(59:38):
that we don't let people play with us like that,
and because I was holding the baby. So then my
mom was there, and my mom got up. I'm talking
about everybody. We was all the way in the front.
Everybody was watching. And that's mad because, like I said,

(01:00:02):
it was with family. One of my mom's uncles, his
wife died, so we went to there are respects. This
was like afterwards, when everyone's sitting together and eating and
so forth. And she got up. She put her hand

(01:00:29):
on that lady's head. I kid you not mind you.
She had a hat. She smashed that hat on that
lady's head. Whatever you was coming to take, we'd taken back.

(01:00:50):
And she's us mighty name aymen ain't many Matt girl
had to recollect herself for many. Where am I What

(01:01:13):
am I doing? What did I do? Yeah, girl, we
don't play like that. First off, she was looking strange.
Second of all, her vibe was off. Third of all,

(01:01:39):
you didn't address anyone on the table, and you come
in try to pack a child on his head. No, no, no,
we know certain people too well. Besides, we have eyes,

(01:02:02):
we see, we since we hear what is it? Right
after that happened, she left. Whatever she came to do,

(01:02:26):
it was canceled out. And when I'm saying be bold
in spirit, I don't care how crazy you think I
am when it's about mine. Were bold in spirit? Okay?
And this is why I hold people accountable when you

(01:02:51):
have a certain title in my life, because I know
that I'm go'a protect you and i'm'a follow my intuition.
But if I see that I'm on the business of

(01:03:14):
protecting you and you in the business of putting me
in danger, you clearly confused. So you serve no use
confirmation like does that matter matter? Like before they pray

(01:03:41):
for themselves, I'm praying for them, and I always get
feedback like one person tried, somebody I loved you. This
person tried, and first of all, I had to calm

(01:04:08):
somebody down because when he learned what does man did,
I had to calm him down. I'm like, listen, there
are other ways of dealing with this. We don't have

(01:04:29):
to move that way. Let me pray about it. I
want you to promise me that you're not gonna do this.
You're not gonna aks no questions, You're not. I want
you to promise me that because since I was younger,
my mom always told me handle your business if you can,

(01:04:54):
because if you can, you could put someone in danger. See.
I lost a cousin that way. He was protecting his
girlfriend at the bar and he got shot. I remember
going to his funeral. I believe I was eight or nine.

(01:05:18):
And what made it worse after they shot him, they
put his body in a walk in freezer, which was stupid,
but they were afraid to call the police because the
owner of the shot didn't want to get into any trouble.

(01:05:43):
He got into trouble anyway, so you know what I'm saying.
He got in trouble anyway. But that's how we lost him.
And so from that very young age's like, listen, I
know your dad is this way, and when your brother

(01:06:05):
gets older, he might be this way or whoever's in
your life. If there are ways for you to de
escalate a situation, you need to do that because it
might cost you the life of another. Right, So that's
how I move. So if I notice you want to

(01:06:31):
do something, I'm not the one that is going to
be instigating you. Oh, you need to do that. Like
I've had in another situation, someone hit my car. I
was younger. I was younger, and my car I wasn't
even moving. I don't know if any one of you
had that experience before where you're not moving in the
car and someone hits your car while you're not moving.

(01:06:54):
And the man in my life at that time, when
he learned that, he wasn't okay with the agreement that
was done between us because he felt like I should
have called the police because this man could play games
or whatever. He's like, I need you to call him.

(01:07:18):
I need to go to his house. I need you,
And I'll never forget my mom saying I see you
as a son. It's not because I don't think you
can't defend my daughter, but I see you as a son,
and I don't want you to be in any danger

(01:07:39):
if you go over there and you know you don't
know when you go to somebody's house and you know
because he was ready to go. So I feel that
I'm telling you this because maybe the masculine energies need
to pay attention to the feminine end energies in their

(01:08:00):
lives and are they putting you in danger or are
they protecting you? Because that's the only reason I would
be sharing this. I had no plan to share anything

(01:08:29):
concerning this with you tonight. But what I'm getting out
of this is that use wisdom, stop allowing people to
manipulate you, put you in danger, and get you in

(01:08:50):
to do things that can put you at risk. So
that individual that wanted to go handle someone after I
made him promise, I said, I'm gonna pray about it.
That same week, YO, maybe two days later, my friend

(01:09:17):
calls me AND's like, listen that prayer word and told
me what happened. I was like, oh my good, Like
I did not even know it was gonna be that fast,
and I didn't even know if it was gonna be
that serious. I said, you see, I said, now, if

(01:09:37):
you went to handle it, it would have never been
this much trouble. You understand. That's why we have to
understand now we have the power of prayer. There's certain
things that other people have to do who are not

(01:09:58):
connected spiritually. We don't have to engage in that. In fact,
you could disrespect me and I could just smile at
you because I know what's up. Like I just know
what's up. And it's always been that way. I just
was not paying attention to it. I just was not
paying any attention to it earlier in my life. But

(01:10:22):
I've noticed people that played games with me, like one
individual I've mentioned before when I learned that someone was
expecting a baby and was eight months pregnant, because when

(01:10:45):
she called me, she used his phone. So I'm like, hey,
I thought it was so and so, and I heard
a woman's way. I said, well, maybe that's his mom,
maybe that's his sister. She said, well, you know, the
only reason I'm not gonna curse you out is because
I think he was playing us both and whatever whatever,

(01:11:09):
and I'm so and so such and such, and I
want you to know I'm eight months per I'm like what,
because this is somebody like I said, Sometimes that's why
you can't rely on your understanding for real, for real,
because I was always with this person, Like I'm questioning,

(01:11:35):
like when did you have time? Like we were always
together like every day, so you know, before work and afterward,
So how did this happen? And then when we continue
to compare notes and stuff, and I learned that she

(01:11:56):
was from out of town, right, so as she was
talking to me, he heard her on the phone with me.
He was trying to grab the phone from her, and
she was like, if you hurt this baby, I'm a
caller police that I you know. Now In the end,

(01:12:25):
I don't want to say I took anyone's side, but
I got out of the way because I was a
single mom, so I understood what it feels like to
feel as if you've been done wrong by your child's father.

(01:12:46):
So I got it out of the way, and I
told him because first of all, once you cheat, I
can't trust you again. That's it's over her like you
got someone pregnant over Okay, this is my health we're
talking about. So cause I feel like women are different.

(01:13:15):
You are more able to tolerate things before you have children,
but once you have children, you realize you're not just
living for yourself, and you consider your family members and
are aware that when something affects you. It doesn't only
affect you, it affects those that love you. And so

(01:13:37):
it's important for you to cut down with that. This
is my life business, because it's not just your life.
Everyone that loves you pays the price. So there are
certain things that I have zero toleration for. And I

(01:14:04):
told him. I told him you should marry her. And
I was for real about it first because I didn't
want confirmation heard that thunder first. I didn't want her
to be a single mom. Second of all, she was
expecting twins. Can you believe it? Twins? And he was
cheating on her. That was incorrect. But I remember I

(01:14:34):
dreamt that he went to jail, and I'm like, how
could so and so good to jail? Like he's a
good guy. He doesn't get in any type of trouble.
You know, he's not a partying type and stuff like that.
He just works three jobs. That's one of the reasons.

(01:14:55):
I'm like, where did he find time to cheat? Cause
he works three jobs? So something told me to look
him up. And the strangest thing happened. He got charged

(01:15:25):
for something very silly. I should phrase this better, because
domestic violence is not silly. But what I'm saying is
what he did that got him that charge, it's like,

(01:15:53):
you know, it's carmon because it's something that anyone can experience,
something in connection to frustration, right, And although it coulda

(01:16:20):
been much more grave than what they picked him up for,
that's on his record for life. And this was maybe

(01:16:46):
a year or two after he played me, told me
he was single, told me he had no other kids.
You know, other individuals who thought it would have been

(01:17:12):
cool to mess around ended up having their children put
in the same or similar situations that they put me in.
And their children are teenagers, they're not even adults. Yet

(01:17:38):
the same thing that was done to me happened to
his daughter. And what's interesting about this, I was the
one talking to him and telling him, you need to

(01:18:04):
get in touch with the social worker, you need to
get in touch with the counselor even though we were
in different states. I was finding the information necessary, I
was giving him the phone numbers necessary, and I was

(01:18:24):
still over giving to confirmation to the undeserving. And so
I didn't learn my lesson yet. God wanted to teach
me that when someone does something wrong to you, yes

(01:18:44):
you can forgive that person, but they no longer are
entitled to certain benefits they had when they were with you.
And so that was the most recent lesson. I learned

(01:19:09):
that when I let go, I really gotta let go,
because I've made men mentioned before that I will leave.
I will excuse myself from the relationship, but that doesn't
mean I'm a hate on you for what You're certainly
not the only opportunity I've ever had or ever will

(01:19:33):
have in my life. Life goes on. I'm grown, so
we're not gonna spend our entire life crying over what.
People break up every day. So part of life is

(01:20:00):
crying and wiping your tears and going in the mirror
and say, you know what, don't make me have to
smoke you twice on each side, because it's time for

(01:20:21):
you to get yourself together and take care of business.
And I've done that several times in my life. After
I've falling due to some kind of hurt. After crying,

(01:20:42):
I just go in the mirror and I talk to myself.
I say, you know what. I know you, Matt, because
you knew better than this, and you regret you trusted
this person, and you did so much much for this person.
And this person was undeserving and you know you deserve

(01:21:06):
better than that. But you're not gonna waste your life
over this. You're gonna do what you have to do,
or you're gonna have to slap yourself two times every
time until you get it right. The goal is to

(01:21:26):
never repeat it again, never put yourself in a situation
to be in that type of cycle again, and then
I'll move on. I was always in the belief that's
how everyone did it. I didn't know that there were

(01:21:46):
people who plotted revenge and all of that. I thought
that was a lifetime movie thing, you know, what you
see on TV. I never believed that people would invest

(01:22:07):
their lives in revenge and over what is it that
hard to meet someone else? Really? And I guess the

(01:22:29):
difference between me and many other people is I'm content
with just the emotional connection. It doesn't even have to
get physical until that's how it comes. Intimacy occurs before

(01:22:52):
the bedroom. So someone who cares about you, who invests
in you, who affirms you, who encourages you, who defends you,
who protects you, you know, those are the necessary ingredients

(01:23:14):
for that type of proper foundation. So I've never been
man hungry, where oh the next person that looks at me?
And oh, I gotta marry him? And for what? Listen,

(01:23:38):
I've been sober minded since childhood. And what that means
is there were lessons, hours of learning at seven and
eight that some people don't learn until their twenties. What

(01:24:02):
marriage is really about, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
I've seen it. At eight years old. I took my
father's hand and I brought him to the living room
in our apartment, and I told him, why don't you

(01:24:31):
get a divorce? You see, I was tired of waking
up three in the morning, one in the morning, mind you,
I gotta go to school and be up by five
thirty and whatnot. Due to arguments, threats, family members coming

(01:24:59):
from upstairs because we lived on the first floor, coming
from upstairs, because they hear the back and forth, having
to knock the door to make peace, calm everyone down,
police being called are you serious? I was traumatized. There

(01:25:21):
were times I was afraid to sleep because I feel
like soon as I sleep, I'm gonna get startled again.
I might hear someone punch the wall again or slam
the table again, you know. And the thing is it

(01:25:47):
was more threats over everything, more threats over everything, But
that alone traumatize me. I can do this, I can
do that. I can do this, And like my mother,

(01:26:17):
I have no fear neither did she Oh you gonna
do something, alright? What you waiting for? Like? And she
for real, like what you waiting for? Cause she knew

(01:26:49):
where she was at. Her mom owned the building, and
every apartment had family members. Do you know whose territory

(01:27:09):
that you're on? My father's upstairs and I'm speaking about
her gr my grandfather, her father. You know, she's always
been like, so what's up? You know? But one thing

(01:27:31):
I have to say, which is the truth. I never
saw her hit him. I never in my life saw
her c call him any curse word. In my entire life.
She's never called him out of his name, not even
one time. But some men, even if you don't call

(01:27:54):
them out of their name, even if you don't cheat
on them, even if you take care of them, it's
not enough. They need you to be trembling. They need

(01:28:17):
you to accept all their extramarital affairs. They need you
to give them the respect that they don't deserve, you understand,
And some women are not on that time. If they
see you fooling around, all they gonna do is focus

(01:28:40):
on their kids and pay the bills. She'd go to
work the morning tonight. I remember her carrying me on
her shoulder at midnight to bring me downstairs, and then

(01:29:08):
she would have to carry my brother and bring him
downstairs to our apartment every night. If you're available, you're

(01:29:29):
available to help. If you're not available, you're not available
to help. What am I gonna do let my kids
be in lack not allow them to have a good education.
I went to the best schools, I had a private bus.

(01:29:53):
I was never in need or lack. If I had
a playground in my backyard is because she invested in
it and all my cousins benefited in it. So it's like,
even though you may be doing everything to carry your

(01:30:15):
part of the load, sometimes it's still not enough. And
so since my young age, I already had this knowledge.

(01:30:40):
One thing I'm thankful about is it didn't cause me
to be pessimistic. I've always been hopeful, but at the
same time, I'm a realist. I know it's human to error.

(01:31:07):
So just because I'm connected to you doesn't mean you're
not gonna do me any harm. Just because I'm doing
good for you doesn't mean you're gonna do good for me.
I'm aware of that. I've seen it. But I've also

(01:31:32):
seen nobody dies if you don't return to favor. People
still move on. If you let them down, nobody kills
themselves if it's a new chapter. That's how I'm built,

(01:31:57):
and this is why I was prepared for this life.
Since my childhood, I always knew how to pay attention
to what matters, not to be overly possessed by the

(01:32:24):
glamour life. Because we need to focus on priorities. We
need to be able to keep the family afloat. We
need to make sure that before the sugar is before
we're out of sugar, we need to have another pack

(01:32:45):
of sugar available. Before we're out of milk, we need
to have another carton of milk available. Before we're out
of toilet paper, we need to have another pack. I
am never out of, unheard of, out of. How does
that happen? It's called preparation. This is why I survive.

(01:33:21):
I never positioned myself to be out of for what
If I have my priority straight, why would I be
out of? Make it make sense? And this is also
what I mean by making the best of the resources

(01:33:53):
that you have. Why do I say this. I don't
necessarily wanna say her name, but there is a very
very famous speaker, and without saying her name, the title

(01:34:24):
connected to her brand the co the title connected to
her brand is Prophetess. I was just looking at the time.

(01:34:57):
The information I'm receiving from the message is that there
are decisions being made to go on the right path,
and I thank God for that. So I went to

(01:35:23):
one of her conferences, and I remember her teaching the
single women how to prepare yourself to get married. It's

(01:35:48):
not just i'm here, I'm pretty, but this is what
you need to know to prepare yourself to be ready
for that type of calling. And there's a lot I

(01:36:09):
learned from her. She also taught me that you can
grow from your experiences. I'm being guided to share one

(01:36:31):
of her popular one of her popular talks about how

(01:36:56):
she changed her life, but i'm'a put more thought into

(01:37:20):
that before I share, cause I really don't know what
she's about today. I know what she was about yesterday,
I don't know what she was about today. So I
don't just throw people's names around if I don't know
what if I haven't been keeping up with them, and

(01:37:42):
I don't know what they're about today. But I learned
a lot from her teaching and her jr. In Transformation.

(01:38:06):
She focused a lot on preparation, and I carried that
with me because I always pay attention to what truly matters,
because I was so sober minded since my youth. I

(01:38:30):
remember one of the first times a man told me
that he loved me. I responded in a way he
said he never experienced before. I said, don't ever tell
me that again. And I was in my twenties. Don't

(01:38:53):
ever tell me that until you mean what you say.
And I believe the reason why I said that is
because I saw so many toxic relationships that started with

(01:39:21):
I love you. While growing up. I saw what happened
to women, not only family, friends too that started with
I love you. So with that background, I wanted to

(01:39:46):
make sure that I wasn't just hearing it. I wanted
to be able to feel it. And when he told
me that, I don't feel he demonstrated enough for me

(01:40:08):
to believe it. I don't know if you understand what
I'm saying, but I'm someone that is more attracted to
the ugly truth than a beautiful life, because if I
have the ugly truth, I know how to move. But
if I have a beautiful life, that's just wasting time.

(01:40:36):
And who has time to waste time? Right again, you
know what to do. Trust your inner knowledge and act
upon it without delay. Follow your intuition. You know what
to do. It's not just about the words. Is the

(01:41:01):
person loving you with their actions. And I'm not just
focused on romance. There are many ways to show I
love you because there are many different love languages. Now,

(01:41:24):
Eventually I was comfortable with here and I love you
because I was in a confirmation. I was in a
connection where I felt that I was loved. So, needless

(01:41:52):
to say, I was prepared and raised in a way
to be prepared for the reality of romantic relationships. That

(01:42:18):
it's not just about fairy tale and what you see
in Hollywood movies. And it doesn't matter that you have
a boyfriend today because tomorrow or later that afternoon, you
can lose a boyfriend. The same way, I was taught
to never show off about a boyfriend, like, oh, I

(01:42:41):
have a boyfriend. My man did this? My man, my man,
my man? This is why any record of me on
social media, you will never notice me bragging about a
man married or not ever been on social media or

(01:43:04):
even amongst friends in circles and bragged about my man
did this for me? My man. Your personal relationship is
your personal relationship. And due to the individuals I had
in my life, I was influenced by them. So one

(01:43:27):
woman in particular, I knew her since I was sixteen,
and she once held the title of best friend. She
always told me, you don't brag about what men do
for you. And I got a lot of wisdom from
her because she had an older sister who went away

(01:43:48):
to college, and I guess she was learning about life
and would share these things with her younger sister, which
happened to be my friend. So even though I didn't
have an older sister, I still had her influence. So
there's a lot I learned from her. Even though we're

(01:44:11):
not as close and connected as we used to be,
they're still extended family in me and they will always be,
Like if I see her mom, and you know their family,
Cause I learned a lot from these people, and she

(01:44:38):
taught me things like when you have a man, you
don't invite girlfriends see a house all the time. That's
when they do stupid things like showing up when you're
not there, you know. So like when I had my apartment,
there's not one female who knew my apartment, not one,

(01:45:05):
I said, not one except my mom my, mama. But
no cousins, no friends, no nothing, just me and mine.
And we was good because I could still meet up

(01:45:25):
with you. What you want to go to red Lobster,
you want to go to the movies, want to go
to the beach, you want to because we're not doing
all of that. And this is one of the reasons
why I avoid a lot of drama, because I don't
allow it to get too close for comfort, right because

(01:45:50):
I am in the awareness that I can only control myself.
I can't control you. So just because I have certain
mannerisms that puts respect into application does not mean that
that's the decision you've made for yourself, or that's the
des in, that is the the meanor that you will

(01:46:12):
be re representing yourself in. I've accepted that that everyone's
different and I have to accept you as you are.
And that's relative to my comfort zone. The wisdom and
my past experience my wisdom and my past experiences. You

(01:46:39):
can still show love, you can still be social, you
can still be caring, loving, understanding with boundaries. Right, and so,
even though I've experienced life highs and lows, life always

(01:47:02):
continues to go on because it's not the end until
I say it's the end. I'm always paying attention because
I don't believe in repeating past lessons because I know

(01:47:25):
when you repeat, it's harder the next time. It's more complicated,
it's more chaotic, it's more distasteful, it's more lethal. And
so I don't wanna make it harder on myself. I

(01:47:50):
wanna show you how God protects me before I close.
So some of you are aware that a plant was
sent into my life to bring destruction, theft, and death.

(01:48:28):
They utilize a judas. See the message I'm hearing is
go now, go now, exactly go now. They utilize a

(01:48:53):
judas to come into my life to love by me,
promise me the earth, the sun and the moon. And
how dedicated he was, and how he doesn't believe in divorce,
and he would be here forever and so forth. But

(01:49:17):
that has to be accompanied with respect, correct, I mean,
that's just a given right, But that just wasn't part
of the intention, because they came with bad intentions. When

(01:49:41):
I thought I was marrying an individual, there were others
that felt they could insert themselves as if I said
I'd do to them, which is a dream that will
never manifest. So before I married him, I told him

(01:50:07):
what happened to my cousin. I told him one of
the reasons why my family had reservations towards him is
because of what happened to my cousin. We have a
similar pattern when it comes to our lives, like in

(01:50:32):
relation to traumas with experience beginning from childhood. And she
met a man of the same nationality that love bombed her,

(01:50:53):
stole all her money, and left her with two kids.
Apparently he had the similar taste in women that the
Judas had. I believe I told him this maybe two

(01:51:17):
weeks before we got married. Oh I'm nothing like this.
Oh my goodness, he gives our people a bad name,
and he called him everything negative under the sun. But
I was still in my mind, regardless of what you're saying,

(01:51:43):
that's still gonna be on my mind. That doesn't just
go away just because you say you're nothing like that.
J that is just giving you a head zone that
I'm paying attention. That's what that was. God allowed me

(01:52:08):
to pay attention to what truly matters. So I understood
certain cycles that my cousin went through, and I was
comparing notes. Although I didn't have the complete details due

(01:52:37):
to her season of withdrawing from others because she had
to heal from her experiences. I just had an outline
of what occurred. I didn't have the details, but I

(01:53:02):
was paying attention to the outline. And then the first
week of marriage, I noticed a woman called him on
the phone, why are you calling me? B tch? And

(01:53:23):
I noticed his behavior was peculiar because even though it
was a woman, if she didn't know you was married,
you could have easily said, listen, I got married, so

(01:53:44):
actually my wife is right here. You could say hello
to her. You know we won't have any further communication
because you know I am being loyal to her and
so forth. There was no need for him to say
why are you calling me? Don't call my phone again.
Be it was just too out there, because I'm like,

(01:54:08):
there are several guys that leave relationships that don't have
to curse you out, that can still be civil, and
I remember mentioning that to him, there was no need
for you to call a woman out of her name, okay,

(01:54:32):
because prior to him, I've never had a connection where
anyone hated me and wanted my death. In fact, I
still got phone calls on Christmas, on my birthday, on
New Year's and you know, checking in how you doing right,

(01:55:01):
so that life was yesterday because I no longer keep
in touch from anyone in the past, because that is
not what God wants for me. So those happy birthdays
or whatever are all on block right now and forever
will be. And they didn't do anything to harm me

(01:55:23):
or anything. But that's the path God put me on.
He wants me to be what I was since I
got married, which is loyal, and truth be told, I've
always been loyal, but loyal in the sense where I
don't have male friends either. My male friend is my man,

(01:55:57):
and although family as family, I can be friendly with
them given the opportunity. But those I had in my
life just because I felt they were talented, like I
knew a lot of poets and artists and so forth.

(01:56:23):
And he's not even aware of this that I willingly
disconnected from these individuals, because I always think, would I
be comfortable if so and so was in connection with

(01:56:51):
a woman like this a man like this. So when
it's a man, he's talented, charming, you know, offer stimulating

(01:57:22):
conversation and so forth. That's the sacrifice I make because
I know I am loyal to my man and out
of respect for him, regardless on the connection I had

(01:57:46):
with you previously, and it was of innocence, like I
would just have a lot of birthday, Happy birthdays, Merry Christmas.
How you doing, I liked your polls, such and such,
And we don't do this anymore because it gives opportunities

(01:58:09):
for more. That's when they ask you questions like, hey,
you want to go out for learn you want to
and so. To avoid these types of entanglements, we close

(01:58:34):
all gates, all doors, all windows. And although this is
very different from who I am socially by makeup, and

(01:58:55):
what I mean by that is, I'm naturally a friendly person,
you know, especially if we're vibing. If we're not, you're
definitely gonna sense that I'm standoffish, and that's okay. I
really don't care what your opinion of me is, because
if my chemistry and yours don't mix. It just doesn't.

(01:59:18):
And yes, I will keep off, but f if it does,
you'll see the smiles, you know, You'll see the interaction,
You'll hear the jokes and so forth, and it it
just flows. The part of growing up is prioritizing what

(01:59:38):
truly matters. Is it your opinion of me? Or is
it who's there for me? What holds more value? Is

(02:00:01):
it those moments of flirtation with you? Or is it
who got my back? Make it make sense, Like when
you know the value of an individual, you consider the
steps that you take because you know that's not so common.

(02:00:37):
It's not so common, especially nowadays, to find loyalty, respect, love.
There's always a secret agenda. And so even in your

(02:01:06):
best relationships, there are trying times that occur because God
wants to show you even in this season, you can trust.
That's why God allows certain hardships to occur, for you

(02:01:27):
to see people in different seasons. Are they only available
for the good times or are they gonna stand by

(02:01:49):
you in the challenging moments. And although I've had ups
and doubts, I gotta admit the truth, which is I'm

(02:02:15):
glad I was able to see how people are in
different seasons. So because I pay attention to what truly matters,

(02:02:44):
even though I was married to this individual, I never
expected a perfect marriage. But I was always taking notes.

(02:03:08):
I was learning the lessons that were being presented to me,
and in doing that, there were several opportunities for me
to gain more insight. I remember he was having a
conversation with one of his cousins and he was like,

(02:03:33):
he was on speaker, and his cousin was like, I
hope you're not doing the same things you used to
do in Canada. I hope you've changed. I hope this
this and that. And he said, no, I'm not like
that no more. Man, I'm not like that no more.
And then he made a mention of you know how
things go. You know how things go? So I got married?

(02:03:53):
You know how things go. That alerted me. I took notes.
What does that mean? You know how teens go? I
got married? So I got married. You know how teens go?
So I got married? And I I recall other incidents

(02:04:16):
where he made mentions of you know how they are,
especially when he talked to his mom. Why was I
always they who are they? You know how they are?

(02:04:38):
They always get what they want. So when that statement
was made, I began to think about I who always

(02:05:00):
get to what they want? Because there were times he
was very disrespectful to me because I'm an American citizen. Oh,
I'm not like you have this. You have this, you
have that. I can't do this. I can't do this,
I can't do that. I've sensed jealousy in him, and

(02:05:21):
that's not what you should be sensing from a husband.
I took notes. I remember one time I tried to
give him a hug and he had no ideas. Sometimes

(02:05:42):
it was to encourage him. It was not because I
was experiencing some type of ecstasy, let's be real about it.
It was to encourage him because he was going through
some hard times. And I remember one time he said,

(02:06:09):
you think I could hug you, You think I could
kiss you after what your mother did to me? And
I'm thinking, so, why am I investing my time in him?

(02:06:32):
This is what I'm thinking internally. If he's going to
hold me accountable for whatever he feels he should be
holding against my mom when all she did is said
by he wasn't contributing to the household, You wasn't available

(02:07:05):
to assist in any manner, not even to throw the
trash out. You came to me complaining that my mom
aks you to throw the trash out when my brother
was available, like you should be exempt from throwing the
trash out. That's deep, isn't it. So you hated my

(02:07:45):
mom and in that moment of you seeing you think
I could hug you, You think I could kiss you
after your mom did, I said my mom or I

(02:08:13):
and you said the same thing. And it was at
that time it was finalized that you hate me. No,

(02:08:33):
I didn't cry about it, but I felt it. I
knew to be careful with you because you hated me,

(02:09:00):
or because you couldn't take advantage of me the way
you would like for me to sponsor your life, for
you to take from me to pay with prostitutes that
you dealt with, that allowed you to invite playmates into

(02:09:28):
your bedroom, because you was about that life, that swingle
life that you should have clarified before getting married, because
I would have never accepted that that's not me. And
as I've said before, if I didn't do it in

(02:09:48):
my single life, why am I gonna be confirmation? Why
am I gonna begin to do that in my married life.
I've never participated in any type of orgy in my
life life ever and never will. Now, whoever does it,

(02:10:11):
that's your business. I don't need to know your bedroom interactions.
That has nothing to do with me. But I'm saying
that's for me. That's just not my thing and it
shouldn't be held against me, especially when I wasn't informed
that was your theme among many other things read between

(02:10:39):
the lines, and furthermore, I would have always been careful
with you, as I've shared time and time again, my
grandmother was by her husband. Did I stutter? I said,

(02:11:08):
was killed by her husband, fortunately not my biological grandfather,
but by her husband. And then my mother received threats
towards her life from her husband. So with that background,

(02:11:35):
what would make you think I wouldn't be careful with
how I moved, Especially when I heard you sitting next
to me on the bed talking to your mom that
if I left you, you would make my life help.

(02:11:55):
You would do this to me, You would do that
to me, You would do this to me. You were
not paying attention to what truly mattered, so you were
engulfed in illusion that everything was okay because you never

(02:12:21):
cared to question are you okay? Are you satisfied? Are
you happy? Am I doing enough? Because it never mattered.
But I was taken note and I was talking to God.

(02:12:48):
I said, you see my dilemma. This is going on,
this is going on. I'm seeing this. I'm seeing this.
I'm not happy. You're gonna have to get me out
of this. How are you gonna get me out of this?
I'm waiting on you to get me out of this.
And as I was praying and talking to God, I

(02:13:10):
signed up for a class that could assist me with
emotional regulation people. I was preparing myself like I wasn't
about to sit down and get addicted to drugs because
I didn't see how that made sense. But I know
part of a divorce is being able to experience with

(02:13:38):
withdraw So I had to build myself to disconnect emotionally.
So little by little, every time I noticed the shade
that was being brought to me, I made peace with that.

(02:14:09):
That's how he feels you telling me you didn't want
me to bring you to a certain city cause you
didn't want certain family to see me because they're troublesome.

(02:14:31):
They would say I'm too dark as if you were
ashamed of me or would have you. They're colorless. They
even talked about my complexion. They're colorless. To summarize what
you brought to my attention, I didn't see the pride

(02:15:00):
that I deserved that you should have had in me.
I took note of that. I don't wanna be in
a connection that's forced. I don't wanna be in a
connection where I have to put a spell on you,
cause the truth of the matter is I don't have to.

(02:15:21):
I have people that love me the way I am,
people that appreciate me the way I am, people that
see my beauty the way I am, people that appreciate
my charm, my presence, my personality, my intellect, anything I
bring to the table the way I am. So I

(02:15:45):
will never be in a condition where I have to
bow down to anybody to fit in the box that
you have for me, because I know I truly matter.

(02:16:12):
And so in knowing that husbands skill wives, I aks
God how to protect myself, and he showed me how

(02:16:36):
detach from people, places, things, and energies that are not
in alignment with my free will, my highest good on
Sol's focus and assignment, and he led me with one

(02:17:05):
step out of time, one baby step out of time,
and I began to observe everything that he was bringing
to my attention. I walked in obedience confirmation. I put

(02:17:29):
all my faith and trust in him. I accepted the
revelations that he revealed to me. And here I am
today today, fine, happy, breathing, hopeful, strong, thriving and teaching.

(02:18:07):
Once you learn to focus and pay attention to what
truly matters, everything will go smoother in life. So with
that I will affirm I am everything God says. I

(02:18:35):
am nothing more and certainly nothing less. Grace upon grace
upon grace is God's will for my life, because what
love is my inheritance. I take back all energies that

(02:18:55):
was illegally taken from me. I cut core from all people, places,
things that carry energies that are not in alignment with
my highest good, my free will, my greatest good, my
soul's purpose, my soul's mission. I cluck chords. I cut

(02:19:16):
cords I could chords past, burd and future in all rooms,
in all dimensions and all space and time. I close
all doors, all portals or gates, all avenues to me
or family that bring this alignment. Of any kind, shut,

(02:19:49):
sealed and secure. I reinforce boundaries regarding my privacy, past, present,
future in all realms and all dimensions, in all space

(02:20:12):
and time, including that of my family, Calling on for
supreme the supreme protection of Heaven over all of my
astrological houses, Calling on the supreme protection of Heaven over

(02:20:39):
all of God's favor and promises, Calling on the supreme
protection of Heaven over all that is connected to me.

(02:21:08):
I call back all the parts of my soul that
have been affected by trauma, negligence, for anything that God
help us to hear you when you are knocking the

(02:21:30):
doors of our hearts. Amen,