Ring-a-Ling School Bell Ring P1

[e-mail]
$MsGraceOnAJourney (Cashapp)

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hello, Hello, Hello, beautiful loved ones. This is Grace on
a journey and you are listening to angelic healing Express.

(00:32):
Welcome to the newcomers and to those of you returning,
my fellow travelers, welcome back. We are happy to have you,

(00:54):
and I am happy to be back. How's everybody doing.
I pray that you're doing well and you're going with

(01:20):
the flow of life.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
I've learned.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
Once you learn to go with the flow of life,
you participate less in resistance and you move with ease

(01:55):
when it comes to your greatness. As I was just
sharing with you, I heard something in the background.

Speaker 2 (02:10):
It appears.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
As if someone was either closing the door or opening
the door, but that's not what captured my attention. What
captured my attention is the squeaky noise I heard. And
due to the fact we were just on the topic

(02:37):
of going with the flow and learning how to adapt
to this way of life. That's telling me some of
you have been resisting for some time, so going with

(03:05):
the flow requires for you to oil. I'm hearing Holy oil.
Oil annoint the parts of you that need more of God.

(03:33):
God is available in overflow. I want to think my
angelic families, the nine choirs, in all universal energies that

(04:14):
are in l alignment with my highest good. I wanna
thank the sended masters that lived lives and experience the

(04:36):
ups and downs and paved the way so we could
all learn from their experience, m not having to endure

(05:03):
many of the pains that they were subjected to. And
at this point, it's time for me to say, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

(05:33):
You know why I will always say your name. I
will always say your name. You know why I will
always say thank you. I will always say thank you.

(06:03):
You know why I will always say I choose you.
I will always choose you.

Speaker 2 (06:16):
We fly.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
The doors knocking. I was just about to say thank
you for teaching me how to fly high above everything

(07:00):
that is not in alignment with my highest good, but
the door knocked. There was a knock on the door,
and basically someone came to remind me to do something

(07:34):
for him. But the way he presented it was he
aksed me again. He didn't say yesterday, I aksed you.
He said, can you do this for me? But I

(07:59):
recall yes he aksed me to do it, and then
I said I would do it soon as I was
done with something, and if I was feeling a certain way.
It always depending on if I did something, then I

(08:30):
would take that opportunity to do what he was aksing
for as well. But I didn't do it. I decided
to do what my body needed and I took a nap.

(09:01):
Now I mentioned the name Jesus, and the reason why
I mentioned the name Jesus is for many reasons right,

(09:30):
but for me it's very personal. There was a decision.

Speaker 2 (09:42):
That I made.

Speaker 1 (09:55):
I was I'm praying I'm here, but I always aks
for clearance. I was in a different environment. Thank you

(10:35):
for that. I was just I was just assisted with
the proper words to use. I was in a different environment,
and when given an opportunity to decide for myself, I said,

(11:20):
I choose Jesus. This happened when I was asleep. In
other words, I had a dream and I was in
a different m environment what appeared to be a different realm.

(11:52):
What's interesting is Okay, there's a message coming in. I
just got too confirmation. But I'm gonna finish my statement
before I even get into that message from the angels.

(12:13):
When I received that dream, I was thirty three years old.
Who am here is aware of what it is believed

(12:59):
when it comes to Jesus and when he was thirty
three years old, what has been recorded?

Speaker 2 (13:25):
How has.

Speaker 1 (13:29):
It influenced certain societies? We know thirty three is a
master number? Why is it a master number? Set columcial?

(14:05):
So the person I just called me called me to
see if I wanted anything or I needed anything? How
does this tie into what I was just sharing with

(14:28):
you concerning Jesus and the age thirty three? Someone called

(15:01):
I was called at age thirty three. I understand it now.
I was online and there were people in front of
me on the line, and I'm telling you the architecture

(15:22):
and the material that was used. I believe some of

(15:43):
the material was rose courtz se a night moonstone, amethyst.

(16:29):
I remember seeing a lot of pastel colors. I've never
seen a structure like this on earth. There were women

(16:55):
in front of me. As I said, there was a line.
There was also a throom. In order for you to

(17:20):
sit on the throne, you had to climb three stairs.
And the woman that was sitting down I remember her face.
I'll never forget her face. She was in charge. So

(17:50):
when everyone was online, she was observing what place you

(18:21):
would congregate with. And so the women in front of me,
there was a left side and the right side, and

(18:46):
all the women in front of me, they chose the
left side. They pointed and chose the left side. Now
I could've just said, let me follow them and be

(19:20):
part of the group, but that's not where my heart was.
So when it was my turn, she said, you're next
in line. Out of everything, this is what I shared

(19:46):
with my mom. Especially out of everything I could have said.
I could've said, i'm'a choose the right side, but those
were not the words that came out of my mouth.
I said, I choose Jesus. In my sleep, I said,

(20:11):
I choose Jesus. And she pointed at the right side,
and I was there by myself. All the other women
was on the left side. The age thirty three is

(20:40):
believed to be the age Jesus was when he was crucified.
When I just received a phone call before I reconnected

(21:07):
with this recording, I did some research. The age thirty
three is also associated with the resurrection of Christ, and

(21:46):
so I questioned, what does society believe the age thirty
three means for them? Something occurs. I believe it as well.

(22:15):
Because I experienced it. S a big change occurs, and
I'm not saying it's a positive change or a negative
change in my life. It was a positive change. I've

(22:37):
only experienced one pregnancy in my life, and that's because

(23:00):
in life, we make choices, and I decided that I
wanted my life to be a certain way. So when
I had opportunities to get married in college, I always declined.

(23:26):
I was raised to believe that I am not allowed
to get married until I have my education. And the

(23:46):
reason why is cause the women in my family said,
if you get married before you have some type of
degree or profession, you're at risk of having a horrible life.

(24:10):
You're at risk to experience domestic violence, you're at risk
to have no say all the women that I've descended from.
And I'm talking from my knowledge, because just yesterday I
was speaking to my son and I was telling him

(24:36):
how fortunate he is. He has pictures of his great
great great grandmothers.

Speaker 2 (24:47):
That are.

Speaker 1 (24:52):
Posted all over the house. All my ancestors are everywhere
in every room, and I'm referring to their pictures. Now,
I don't only have pictures. I know what they did

(25:13):
for a living. I know the hardships, they went through
the persecutions, they suffered what they believed in their relationship
with their husbands. This assists me to navigate on how

(25:38):
to break generational curses. So I know the women I
descended from on my maternal and patern no side have

(26:03):
always been professional women. They were married, but they were
professional women, some in business, some in education, some in

(26:28):
religious settings, some in spiritual settings. I also observed the
fact that whatever field they were associated with, they were educators.

(26:50):
You can be a doctor and be an educator. You
could be a nurse and be an educator. You could
be a lawyer and be an educator. They worked with communities.
They did a lot of volunteer work. Sometimes it's not

(27:16):
in the public that you have the opportunity to volunteer.
Sometimes you're that woman that whoever else in the family
cannot take care of their kids. You're the one they
always call one. And this is one of the reasons
I'm heavily connected with my family. Doesn't matter if I

(27:39):
don't speak to them for a year or something like that.
If I speak to them, it's just like yesterday. I
grew up with everybody because everyone was at my grandmother's house.
Any type of trouble they got into, that's where they
were sent. And she never denied them. If you got pregnant,

(28:09):
if you needed to focus on school, if you needed
to get away from some friends, that's where you went.
And she earned the title of being strict, and to
be honest, I would agree she was strict. I knew

(28:35):
never ever to come anyway inappropriate in her presence because
I knew what was coming, and that's kind of the
connection she had with others. I didn't know how much
of her mannerisms I absorbed until later on in life

(29:02):
when I began to be freer with self expression and
said what I wanted to say how I wanted to
say it. And then I would get people like my godmother,
you are so bold, and others saying I know where

(29:29):
you got that from. Sometimes you don't even notice who
you are becoming. And I have a separate dream about
that that I'm following her path as well because of
a separate dream that it assisted me to gather spiritual

(29:59):
understan standing. Again, I chose Jesus. I didn't say I
chose the right side alone. I said I chose Jesus.

(30:20):
In meditation several times after then, I said, Jesus, tell
me what this all entails. And the messages I received
was I'm supposed to learn from his life lessons. I'm

(30:45):
supposed to play the role of a healer. I'm supposed
to speak the truth no matter what it costs. I'm

(31:06):
supposed to understand that there will be times when I
make a statement, it will be misunderstood and people will
try to twist it up. I'm supposed to understand there

(31:29):
were people who say I don't know her, I'm not
connected to her like that. I'm supposed to understand there

(31:51):
are times people will betray me for money. This is
all before I got enlightened. Today I know better, but
I had to go through the school because I chose.

(32:16):
I chose Jesus. Be careful who you connect with spiritually confirmation,
because it's not all fun in games when you declare
it with your own mouth, when you say you want that,

(32:41):
know what that comes with. Even in his circles, in
circles of his disciples, he was aware there were those
that will betray him for a dying. There are those

(33:07):
that would say, I don't know I'll never be hanging
around him, I don't know him.

Speaker 3 (33:11):
Like that.

Speaker 1 (33:14):
There are those who will be talking about his personal life.
Some people go as far and you could see it
all over the Internet of making statements associated to his sexuality.

(33:35):
Some people go as far. I'll leave it there cause
I'm not gonna repeat rumors. I know better than that.

(33:58):
But my alliance with Jesus comes with grace. It gives
me provision to be exalted by God. Now many times
before I shared to my surprise when I learned I

(34:24):
was going to have my son. I was thirty three
and I was on my second trimester. I wasn't aware
of him in my first trimester and I named him

(34:59):
though wait I did because of one of the counselors
that told me, yes, you are pregnant. Because I had
to get it certified in order to move forward for

(35:27):
medical care. Have to get a blood test that same week.
That same Friday of the week I learned I was

(35:49):
having a sun But when the calendars were calculated, I
was told I was gonna have him on my birthday.
I was like, what, like? This was not this was
not planned on my birthday? He on your birthday. I

(36:19):
remember being thirty three and confirmation and going to the
hospital on my birthday. You see my brother and I.

(36:39):
I don't talk about him much cause I respect to
his privacy, but he said something to me I'll never forget.
He said today, I know how brave you really are.

(37:14):
He's like, you really gonna go have a baby. Do
you know what this means? Do you know the pain
you will endure it? And I was like, it's worth it,
and it is and it was. There was no reason

(37:39):
for me not to have my child on my birthday.
They were literally playing with his hair on my birthday.
They saw his head. They were playing with his hair

(37:59):
because he had very big curls. Some people are bored,
some people have straight here his curls. We just didn't

(38:19):
expect those girls. He had very big curls. But for
some reason, he wanted his own day, so he didn't
come out until the next day. I'm sharing this with

(38:50):
you because I'm being guided to before I started today's episode.

(39:13):
This is not what I believed the episode would come to.
But as I always share with you, not only do
I invite the angels to assist me with my intention

(39:35):
of healing, I also invite Jesus to take the wheel.
So I'm aware of my inspiration that led me to hear.

(40:00):
But I share what will serve you as you see
it from a bigger picture. So I named my son

(40:24):
after a Bible verse because that verse was told to
me by one of the counselors who assisted in calculating
the dates of when he would be born. But I

(40:52):
didn't know what his name meant in a name book.
He was named after a verse in the Bible. It

(41:13):
was later on, probably a couple of years after he
was born, I came across a name book and I
learned his name meant means exalted by God. I can

(41:37):
learn a lot from that because that helps me to
understand the legalism that certain societies hypocritely subscribed to are

(42:25):
not in alignment with divine reason. I wasn't gonna say
wisdom but because it is connected to reason. But I

(42:55):
was told to say divine reason because God always has
a purpose for you and for me confirmation he had

(43:16):
a purpose. One of the things I don't respect is
when people don't respect those that they love. There's so

(43:37):
much I could say that gives a better understanding about
those that I love due to the enlightenment that I've

(43:58):
gathered over the years, but for their protection. I will
put myself up front because this is my calling. When

(44:22):
you love someone, you do not push them up front
to be exposed to harm, hurt, even approximity to death.

(45:03):
He chose me because he knows he would be protected
in my care. I could elaborate on others that have

(45:27):
chosen me because they know they would be protected in
my care. But it's not necessary to share their identity
or their names. But people in my circle, they know
my life. They know how many near death experiences I have.

Speaker 2 (46:00):
They know.

Speaker 1 (46:03):
Only God can they know it. They know to call
me when they have a cough or when they go
in to surgery. God makes his own decisions, but it

(46:41):
comes with the cast. Due to my calling, my life
was very different. It was all to prepare me for today.

(47:09):
I grew up in a very strict environment where you
can't wear this, you can't do this, you can't go there,
you can't l you can't, you can't, you can't, you
just can't. You could be in this world, but you
can't be of this world. So, even though I was

(47:39):
born in the United States, due to my unique nature
both spiritual and physical, many times I experience not fitting in.

(48:10):
In fact, the first memory I have of not fitting
in is when I was seven, and that's because I
was transferred from one school to another due to my choice.

(48:37):
But that's my first memory of feeling that I'm not
fitting in. All of these experiences collectively prepared me for today.

(49:01):
All of these experiences strengthen me in the areas of
being able to stand on my l my own and
being able to be comfortable in my space, not having

(49:23):
to be in a circle, choosing when to be in
a circle, when it's constructive, when it's aligned with God,

(49:43):
when I see God's signature, otherwise, due to experiences I've
had in my childhood, cause those lessons remain, there are
more cons than prose for being in circles. From my

(50:12):
life experiences, there's always he said, she said, they said it.
I don't have I've never cared what she said, what
they said, how they said, I don't care? I don't
and I I'm trying to express this as humble as

(50:32):
I can, But the fact is, if I have my
life to check to better myself, why do I care.

(50:55):
I'm I'm just being for real. And those are the
areas where I feel have caused me to believe that
although we appear to be speaking the same language, but

(51:18):
we're not speaking the same language. I've met someone like
that where we appear to s be speaking English, but
we're not speaking English. It's as if I'm speaking Latin
and he speaking English or German or French, but we're

(51:48):
not speaking the same language. So it doesn't matter if
I go to the right, if I go to the left,
if I go to the north, if I go to
the south. Any Way, I attempt to present my statement

(52:16):
with logic, it never registers. When I notice that type
of trade, and those in my biological family notice about me,

(52:40):
trust and believe. I love you the pieces, But as
soon as I hear no, we're not gonna agree to disagree.
You know what, it was really nice catching up on you.
I'll call you a again. We'll see each other again.

(53:02):
Peace out. That has nothing to do with my hatred
towards you. That has nothing to do with I don't
care about your welfare. That has nothing to do with
I don't care about you better in yourself. That has

(53:22):
to do with my peace. Even if you're my biological
family and you decide I don't wanna claim you anymore
for whatever reason, I respect that and I give you

(53:49):
that space what you need one year, two years, or forever.
These things have been proven in my life. I respect
myself and that's what makes me respect others. It's very

(54:32):
important that we recall those lessons, the favorable ones, the
ones that are for your highest good, those lessons that
we were trained in. There is an urgent need to

(54:59):
implement it in our lives, setting an example for our
future generations. It's time to pay attention of our surroundings
of governing energies. It's time for us to recall as above,

(55:29):
so below. It is not by accident that masses of
people all over the world are being relocated now. As

(55:54):
I was sharing with you, I received a sign, so
I searched for the message associated with that angel number.
It says it's time to let go of the need

(56:16):
to control your life. It's time to let go of
the need to control your life and let angels guide
you towards brilliance, support and love. I wasn't raised to

(56:58):
allow angels to lead me to support, brilliance and love.
I was raised in the church. I was programmed like
a lot of you, but the angels chose me. Changes

(57:30):
began to occur in my life that put me in
a position that magnified I needed help. Once I came

(57:54):
to the truth, realizing I needed a power greater than myself,

(58:23):
I invited them into my life. They came with signs
that I couldn't deny.

Speaker 2 (58:40):
Yeah, you're real.

Speaker 1 (58:45):
I could be talking to them inside of my head,
not saying the words out loud, and I turn on
the TV and the answer is in the movie I'm watching.

(59:11):
I can go and drive my car and turn on
the radio. I'm smiling cause I love my subscription. But
I'm not going to do any advertising without pay. But

(59:37):
I like to listen to a variety of things. Whether
I'm listening to a talk show, whether I'm listening to
the theater, whether I'm listening to music. I hear the

(59:58):
repetition of the answer to what I was saying in
my head. This is what gave me the understanding they
mine read. This is why when I declared that, I

(01:00:22):
declared there's really no such things as secrets. They know everything.
They know what you do, wherever you are, even in

(01:00:47):
that dark closet.

Speaker 2 (01:00:49):
They know.

Speaker 1 (01:00:53):
Confirmation, confirmation already know you don't to prove nothing to me.
Confirmation they know everything, and they give me glimpses of

(01:01:13):
how they know. Many times people have been doing malicious
acts towards me. I've seen it. Nobody told me I

(01:01:36):
wasn't there, but I saw it, whether it was a dream,
whether it was efficient, whether it were through claire sentient

(01:02:05):
experiences or clear cognisant experiences or clear audience experiences. And
as I mentioned earlier, claire voyance experiences, I knew and

(01:02:33):
I've experienced them all. Many people won't understand why I
do what I do, but that's because it's personal to me.

(01:02:54):
One of the earliest messages I.

Speaker 2 (01:02:56):
Learned after.

Speaker 1 (01:03:04):
My spiritual resurrection is the fact that I was driving
and I saw a round circle in the sky, but

(01:03:26):
I knew it wasn't the sun due to the size
of the circle, due to how big the circle was
in proximity to me and my vision. So I'm looking
to the right and I'm looking to the left, acting

(01:03:48):
myself in all truth? Is this the end? Is this

(01:04:10):
the return of Christ? Cannot be transparent? I said, cannot
be transparent because I wanna know what you would think.
You driving and you see a circle not only with

(01:04:39):
the light, but a burning light, but it was all
contained in the circle. It was not outside and you
saw flames and you saw smoke. It was none of that.

(01:05:01):
It was basically a portal. Yoke, I'm just realizing it
was basically a portal. It alarmed me to the point

(01:05:21):
I got out of my car at an intersection to gaze,
what is this I'm seeing? But I was aware that
no one else was seeing it because nobody was getting
out of their cars and nobody was seeing anything. Just

(01:05:46):
a couple of people that hommed, like what you're doing.
It came in stages, but I got back in the
car and s decided to continue to drive to the
location I was going. But as I was doing that

(01:06:09):
in the rearview mirror, I was still staring at this
circle to see what next, because it's like it was
still there. I was driving farther and farther it was
still there. Not too long after that. I used to

(01:06:42):
work more than one job, so this job in particular
was nice. M I would be at a call center
where people with mental illness would call in due to
pressure of life or suicidal thoughts or.

Speaker 2 (01:07:03):
What have you.

Speaker 1 (01:07:07):
I would get home pretty late. When I got out
of the car, I heard something as loud as a bomb.

(01:07:37):
I believed it was war. That's how powerful it was,
and that's how it affected me. And I'm like, I
know everyone in the house heard what I heard. There's

(01:07:59):
no way, There's no way. But when I walk in
the house, I just see my son hanging out. The
others were watching TV. Someone else was on the phone.

(01:08:24):
I'm like, hold up, hold up, hold up, you didn't
just hear that. Turn on the news. You didn't just
hear that. No, we didn't hear nothing. Are you sure
was the TV that loud? Then I aksed my son,
are you sure you didn't hear that?

Speaker 2 (01:08:48):
It was?

Speaker 1 (01:08:48):
Later on it was revealed to me that was the
sound of the trumpet. I went online. I did some
research and discovered that there are people all over the

(01:09:14):
world that were having these experiences and connecting to angels.
One of my memories after my spiritual resurrection was I

(01:09:43):
was sitting in the kitchen minding my business, watching TV
and I closed my eyes for the m for a minute.
My son was in a different room. I saw my son,

(01:10:07):
I saw what he was doing in the other room.
We are not in the same room. And when I
said I saw him I'm I'm not talking about a glimpse.
I'm talking about real time. You know. If I kept
up my eyes closed, I could see, I could see,
and I could see some more. So I got up

(01:10:31):
cause I didn't know what he was doing in the
other room. I got up, and what I saw in
the vision is what he was doing. Again. I continued
researching more and more and more about angels because I
already believed in angels. It's not that I was convincing myself.
I already did my first vision that I could recall.

(01:10:55):
I was, you know, either I could have been six
or seven years old. That's the first time I saw
an angel in action and angel healing someone healing my mom.

(01:11:26):
And I almost got in trouble for that because when
I was seeing it, I started tapping her, but she
was praying and she didn't respond. When she was done praying,
She's like, yeah, so you looking for spanking. So that's
what it is. So that's what we are because you
know better, you know better to not mess with me

(01:11:48):
when I'm praying, right, And I had to jump in
and say, listen, listen, listen. I just saw a man
and the man was wearing a white room, and he
came in the room, and where we were living in
an apartment, it would have been impossible for man to
come in because of the bars on the window. At

(01:12:14):
the time, we were living in Brooklyn and some of
the buildings had bars. So she's like, there's no way,
you know, someone could have come in here. Whatever, And
then you said, he did this, and he and I
explained what I saw, and that's the first time I

(01:12:37):
heard the word vision. She said, you must have been
having a vision. So it's not that I didn't believe
in angels or it's not the first time I had
a vision, but I'm saying it was at a different level.
I've been in trouble before where I almost died in
a car because I wanted to and a relationship. I

(01:12:59):
wanted to r prioritize my life with christ. I was
motivated to do to to do so because I just
came back from New York and I heard a sermon

(01:13:22):
when I was in Brooklyn and the pastor was saying,
you know, it would be a good thing if Jesus
came back on the Easter Sunday. I mean, that would
be something to laugh about, cause at the time he
comes then you would expect everyone to rise up and

(01:13:45):
and go with him. But but most of you will
be sitting down on these benches with you're pretty hats,
even though you saved it up, saved money for it

(01:14:08):
the entire year, cause the last time you was here
was last Easter. It just touched me in a way
while I was like, you know what, I'm not just
gonna ignore a fact that I could do more when

(01:14:37):
it comes to my spiritual walk. So although I had
no issue with my boyfriend at that time, it's not
as if I said I don't wanna talk to you anymore.

(01:14:57):
What I said was listen. When I was up there,
I heard this sermon, and I wanna live my life
a certain way. So if you can accept these boundaries,
then we still could be together. It's just that these

(01:15:21):
are the boundaries that we can't cross. Next moment, he
started strangling me. Oh, you think you gonna leave me?
You think you I don't know that you met a
man when you went to New York. You think you
gonna play me. Women? Don't leave me. I leave women.

(01:15:44):
And with his heavy patois while I was handed handing
him over a souvenir that I purchased him. When I
was up there, he's telling me is because I was

(01:16:04):
cheating on him and blah blah blah. I'm like, what
are you doing? Like because I was not expecting that
at all. Like I knew there was a chance that
he would have said, nah, I'm not gonna deal with that,
all right, go live your life whatever, Like I'm not
gonna accept these boundaries for my life. But I had
no idea he would try to kill me right in

(01:16:28):
front of a restaurant on a busy street. But he
just flipped. One hand was on my neck and the
other hand was on my wrist. The wrisk gots closer

(01:16:51):
to the driver's seat, and I was trying to take
his hand off of my wrists with my other hand
that was closest to the the door in the passenger seat,
and I was like, you're hurting me, Let me go,
You're hurting me, and I I feel like he he

(01:17:17):
just snapped because he was not hearing what I was saying.
Next minute, three tall, mouscular built man conveniently stepped out

(01:17:39):
of the restaurant. One stood in the front of the car,
one stood in front of the door the driver side,

(01:18:00):
and then the passenger side. I saw them doing movements
like sh like, you know, not movements like we ready
to fight, but like basically cracking their fingers and just looking,
I mean a very hard look, like like we don't

(01:18:21):
need words, we just looking. They didn't use words. They
was just looking. And the m man let go of me.
So I quickly got out of the car, cause I
met 'em up there, Like I'm always trying to meet

(01:18:42):
people halfway, Like if I know you, look, you l
live very far and you gonna come closer than me.
Sometimes I'd be like, listen, let's meet up at this restaurant,
you know, then it's halfway and whatever at his convenience.
So I ran to my car and then I said

(01:19:04):
I can't leave. I didn't say thank you. By the
time I turned around, I didn't see not one of them,
not one of them. And this was a gigantic parking lot,

(01:19:25):
like a a mall parking lot, right, so I can't
be like, well, they was behind this building and that building.
No no, I said. It was a gigantic parking lot,
and and on a very busy street, so I would

(01:19:49):
be seeing them across the street on the north side
or the east side or but nowhere, and I understood
they were angels. The other time my car broke down,

(01:20:09):
I was eighteen, coming from work and it was nighttime
and my car broke down this street that my car
broke down in right before I entered the intersection, those

(01:20:31):
turning lanes, right before I entered the intersection is statistic
Statistically noted the last time I visited that website as

(01:20:56):
one of the one of the places where accidents happened
mostly in the United States. I'm not talking about a
particular state. I'm talking about the United State. I mean

(01:21:18):
people just died here. You understand, at the time, I
wasn't aware of all that. It was later on, when
you know, discussing with other people and did you know this?
And no, I didn't know none of that. I just
know when the car stoff, and I didn't know what
to do, you know, I I put the emergency likes

(01:21:41):
on and I did a run for it. At the time,
there was a store that's no longer in existence. I
can't believe I forgot their name. Yeah, it took me
a minute to a remember the store was called Service Merchandise.

(01:22:04):
But I don't even think that store is in existence anymore.
They sold stuff like refrigerators, electronics, washing machines, and so forth.
Cause it was at the mall. I used to work
at the mall when I was eighteen. I wasn't working
at service merchandise. I was working at another store, but

(01:22:28):
that was the store that was closest to the exit
of the mall parking lot. So I went in there
and I saw a police officer and I was like,
could you please help me?

Speaker 2 (01:22:40):
My car is.

Speaker 1 (01:22:44):
Outside and I'm in danger and I need help. And
this man looks at me and said, do I look
like a Tota told truck driver? And I felt like

(01:23:18):
he had that type of attitude with me for a reason.
I don't have to mention the reason, but it was
for a reason. I'll just say we didn't look alike.

(01:23:39):
So I just walked away cause the police wasn't willing
to help me. At the time, I wasn't aware about
Triple A and all that. I just got out of
high school very green, so to speak. On my way
back to the car, I saw a very tall man.

(01:24:11):
He's like, let's go, I'll help you. By that time,
it was already night, and he was willing to help me.
He's like, when we get in the car, all I
need you to do is to steer it to the sidewalk.
That means he would be going in front of three

(01:24:32):
lanes and being subjected to be in danger with three
other lanes because it was a intersection. But in my heart,

(01:24:54):
I was like, thank god, you know somebody is there,
and that's all I did. I turned the steering wheel
and then he pushed me to the sidewalk. By the
time I turned around to say thank you. Now, it's

(01:25:14):
a intersection, right, he had no access to any cards
because it wasn't a parking lot. It's a intersection, a
very busy intersection. He was nowhere to be found nowhere,

(01:25:35):
so I know he was an entro. All I wanted
to do was say thank you. What I am observing
from sharing these stories is that angels come and they

(01:25:59):
do what they're supposed to do, and most of the
time you don't get an opportunity to say thank you.
Once the assignment is they're gone. Confirmation. You see that,
you see the timing confirmation. So I didn't get a

(01:26:26):
chance to say thank you. I have too many near
death experiences. I've been in a coma before I almost
fell out a window two stories up. I would have

(01:26:52):
fell on concrete floor. I began to like my back
was already out of the window, and a force lift
me up. It was not natural. A force lift my
back up, like gave me a push up. And that's

(01:27:16):
what saved my life. You see, I had too many.
How it happened, it happened real quick. I was basically
watching my younger cousins get their hair straightened with a
hot comb, and my nanny was the one that was

(01:27:36):
straightening their hair. There was a wedding to go to
that evening, so these little cousins, it's like I could like,
I'm right there right now. These little cousins, probably probably
three or four girls. They were in the way. So

(01:27:57):
even if my nanny wanted to reach out to me,
they were in the way. And she's having she had
a hot comb in her hand, you know. So it's
like by the time she puts it down and moves
the kids, come on, now, I'm gone. That's God. He
sent his angels, and I remember everyone was so much

(01:28:22):
in shock. That's the first time I was told, you
know what, you know why, I'm not gonna give you
a spank care. You know why, I'm not gonna give
you a spanking because I might not stop. All right,

(01:28:44):
So you're done for the night. You're going to sleep
right now until tomorrow morning. Because like everyone was in shock, like,
oh my goodness, the window broke. She could have died.
How did this happen? Blah blah blah. I was blessed
in more than one way until I fell asleep. I

(01:29:13):
could use the entire time to just share you, share
with you time and time again, but I'm choosing not
to do that cause I'm talking about the grace of God,
the mercy of God, the healing of God. But i
just want to help you to understand it's real. The

(01:29:40):
grace of God is real. You understand when God has
a plan for you. You have grace in your life.
You have grace on your journey. Even though you get
attacked and there are opportunities where you're at risk, You're

(01:30:11):
never subjected to what God won't allow. I'm being reminded
of the story of Job. Joe went through a lot
of things and the same way that dark energy proposed

(01:30:38):
to God that listen, if you do this and if
you do that, then Job is gonna do that, and
so they went with similar proposals to God, you know,
if you do this and if you do that, and

(01:31:00):
Grace is gonna do that a bet. There was a
spiritual bet place, and there was a bet place in

(01:31:20):
the circle that was against me. As above, so below
everything that happens above, everything that happens below, there is
always a connection. Reflect on that. That's one of the

(01:31:48):
ways you can make wiser decisions. I got married later
on in life because, like I said, I went to school,
wanted to get my career going, and I had experiences

(01:32:10):
with liars. They weren't always mean spirited. I have a
lot of good memories, but liars and then confessions. Well,
the reason why didn't tell you is cause you wouldn't
have accepted me if I did. And you know, I
don't have hard feelings for these people. They were experiences

(01:32:34):
that taught me lessons, and some of them still care.

Speaker 2 (01:32:41):
I know that.

Speaker 1 (01:32:43):
I wish them well. I never leave a connection feeling
like you must die. You know, you must experience hurt
and pain, and I will trouble you. There was I've
never ever, ever left a relationship with anyone on my mind.

(01:33:10):
My only goal was to heal because I know I'm
going to have to heal because when I say I care,
I care, I defend, I protect, I assist, I give

(01:33:37):
my awe. And so these people don't understand, then how
come you don't come chasing? How come you don't come running? Listen,
the secret is if you gave one hundred percent, there's
nothing else to give. Understand that logic. There's nothing more

(01:34:03):
I can give you if I gave you my best,
so I know it's not meant to be. And in
all truth, I don't even give people the opportunity to
get that explanation. You could go figure that out by yourself,

(01:34:23):
cause you already blocked. You can't reach me by phone,
and if I don't recognize the number, I'm not picking up.
And if you email, I could block that too, cause
there's nothing to talk about. I am known for this.

(01:34:44):
Why I prioritize my piece. We'll still have the memories,
but I prioritize my piece. See, I'm someone that functions
when I am not peace. Don't get don't get it twisted.
That doesn't mean if I am not bombarded with attack

(01:35:07):
after attack, that I cannot function. Because I'm very aware
that I was built that way. When I am in

(01:35:27):
the corner, I excel, I excel. I'm made that way.
When I am not in the corner, I do well.

(01:35:51):
But I feel it's more beneficial because I could do

(01:36:11):
more for others when I'm not being depleted. I can
do more for others. When I am under attack, I
gotta do for myself. I still do for others because
I'm gonna be your advocate. I'm not gonna let you
experience what I experience. I'm gonna share. Listen, this is

(01:36:36):
how I got out of it. This is what you
don't have to tolerate. This is God that you could
call on. This is what the angels will do for you. Yeah,
I'm gonna let you know. I'm gonna let you know,
and I'm the one that's gonna be telling you say

(01:36:58):
what you gotta say. Forget those that choose to not understand. Oh,
you don't have to say it that way. You don't
have to be so harsh, you don't have to be
so stampedarfish. You don't have to try to kill me.

(01:37:20):
You don't have to attack my children. You don't have
to call me a prostitute. Shall I go on? I said,
Shall I go on. So because we speak different languages,
I respect you're from that side of the world, okay,

(01:37:44):
and I respect I'm from this side of the world.
And we agree to disagree. Let peace reign.

Speaker 2 (01:37:58):
That's it.

Speaker 1 (01:38:04):
If I allow someone in my space, let me make
this clear. Know that you are loved.

Speaker 2 (01:38:14):
Might hear that I.

Speaker 1 (01:38:19):
Hear a motor outside sounds like a motorcycl I assist
you with your movement. Whatever I know would be of
assistance for you. You gonna find out all this to

(01:38:59):
say if I allow you in my circle, I'm loyal.
You wanna know why because I love my mean time.

(01:39:24):
I'm very good at being alone. Keyword is comfort. I
do what I wanna do. I live my best life.
This is one of the reasons why when I was separated,

(01:39:48):
I began to function Even before the divorce, I began
to function much more than before my separation because I
had time to be alone. I had time to read books,
I had time to have to work on art projects.

(01:40:12):
I had time to go to community events, I had
time to volunteer, I had to time to buy what
I want.

Speaker 2 (01:40:27):
Child.

Speaker 1 (01:40:27):
When I was in my commitment, I'm like, this person
needs this, this person needs this. Okay, this is what's
left over for you. Everyone else was always before me.

(01:40:48):
I understand. I owe that to my child. I put
him on the spur. But when someone else comes in
the picture, there must be a reciprocity. So the illusion

(01:41:11):
that I was confused and so forth was nonsensical because
even in separation, I said, listen, you need to get
your own phone line right. I was paying the phone bill,

(01:41:34):
I was paying groceries. I was paying transportation, I was
paying medication. I was paying legal fees. I was paying
whoever needed whatever they needed back home in the Islands.

(01:41:58):
My mama needs this, my father needs this. I need this,
my son needs this. You you see where I'm going
with this, Like I show up a hundred percent like I.
I just don't want y'all to understand that we don't
do a minus. I strive for a plus. Cause when

(01:42:25):
your family, if you not good, I'm not good. That's
how I determine it. I know that people are different
and they see things in different ways. But if you're
not good, I'm not good. Where's my logic in now? Well,

(01:42:46):
if so and So's mother's not good, it will affect him.
If it affects him, it will affect his well being,
his performance are c connection, it affects me. If his
child is not good, it will affect him, it will

(01:43:09):
affect our connection. It will affect more and more and more.
I'm about keeping that structure. I consider the mechanics of things.

(01:43:32):
That's how my brain works. So when I do something,
I know why I do it. It's not because I'm foolish.
It's not because I have to. It's because I'm willing.

(01:43:53):
Considering the deadline. Well, if you assist me this way,
and you assist me that way, and you assist me
this way, well, at this time and when this time,
I will assist this way, I will assist this way,

(01:44:13):
and I will assist this way when tomorrow. I just
heard a confirmation. I doubt y'all heard it, but I
heard it. When I notice I'm being taken advantage of,

(01:44:43):
I do not take on your identity, meaning I don't
come at you with any crooked way. What I do
is in segment, I lessen the advantage. It's never gonna

(01:45:11):
be cold turkey, cause I still consider you. That's what
care is. Even though someone's being lazy, someone's taking advantage
of me. But do I want this person hungry. Do
I want this person to not have medication? What are
the priorities? I consider that, and so I may not

(01:45:41):
stop the lunch money, but you probably need to learn
how to cut your own hair. You see where I'm
going with this. It's awe strategic. I know when I'm

(01:46:05):
being taken advantage of, and so slowly I take a
step back. I take a step back. I take a
step back. And when I notice your behavior, when I
give you something, you're all in high spirits. You wanna

(01:46:27):
do good. And when I say no, you give me
a standoffish sense a. I don't wanna be bothered. Since
I take note of that, I don't argue. I take note,

(01:46:51):
I observe, and I act. My gift of communication is
for what I'm doing right now. It's not for arguing
back and forth like I'm seven or five. No, this

(01:47:13):
is mine. No, I had this first. No, you hit
me first. I don't like you.

Speaker 2 (01:47:19):
I'm not.

Speaker 1 (01:47:22):
In kindergarten. I already played the role as kindergarten teacher,
so I'm not in kindergarten. I supervise, I make it

(01:47:46):
right and call for peace. Oh you said you like
the color rat and you said the color blue is better.
So you're not friends with her because she said she
likes the color the color red. Okay, she can like

(01:48:11):
whatever color she likes, and you can like whatever color
you like. By the way, I love the color red,
and I love the color blue, and you know what,
I love even more the color purple. But that takes
red and blue. Let peace rain. I'm very big about principles.

(01:49:05):
When I was a teenager, I'm not gonna share anyone's
identity or their names. When I was a teenager, someone
had the audacity to slap me, So I went to

(01:49:33):
an adult because I knew the adult can give me justice.
I went to an adult who's familiar with both of us, right,
and I said, so and so slapped me. And I

(01:49:56):
was expecting for this person to get a punishment. I
believe I was. I could have been seventeen, and it
was just because I made a boundary. I made a boundary. No,

(01:50:19):
I'm not gonna do this. No, I'm not gonna give
you this. I don't know. It was something very simple. Now.
The individual that I mentioned this too had the mindset

(01:50:48):
that you are a woman, well, that you are a female,
and he is a male. Disregarding I didn't hit the person,

(01:51:09):
I said the person hit me. What does male or
female have to do with this? I was in total
shock because this man always had my back, So I'm like, what,

(01:51:34):
what make this make sense? Now? I knew better to
not argue with him, but all my family can say

(01:51:57):
because of that principle, I lost some respect for him.
I lost some respect for him. And when I lose
respect for somebody, I do not desire for us to

(01:52:19):
be in close quarters because I don't need conflict, and
I know who I am. If I don't wanna deal
with you and we are in close quarters and you

(01:52:43):
have no issue with conflict, there's gonna be a problem.
I promise you, I said, I promise you. You know why.
I'm not gonna antagonize you. I'm gonna ignore you to
the point where do I really exist? That's me. I'm

(01:53:08):
not gonna waste my energy on you. I'm not I've
always been that way. We don't agree, we don't agree, period.
Now I'm not gonna argue with you, but we don't agree.

(01:53:30):
We don't agree period. I'm not gonna go gossip about you.
I'm not gonna say you ugly I'm not gonna say
you dumbed. I'm just gonna say I'm at peace. That's me.

(01:53:56):
So if you wanted to go on and go on
and go, I did this to you, and you're expecting
me for to do something back to me, and I'm
supposed to do something back to you. And yo, I'm
a very chilled person. Haven't you noticed? I'm not about

(01:54:19):
arguing all the time. Let's laugh, Let's have fun. Let's
build memories that we care to cherish. Some people don't

(01:54:41):
feel at home unless they are in negative energy. Other
people don't feel at home unless they are in positive energy.
So since high school, I had people criticizing me. Oh,

(01:55:04):
she stuck up, she don't talk to nobody. No, I
just don't like your energy. Why don't you like my energy?
I never did anything to you. Mentally, I formed an

(01:55:39):
opinion when I saw your behavior. This is not what
i'm'a tell you, I said mentally. I don't have to
tell anyone this, I said. Mentally, if I see you
talking about someone cursing someone out, being unfair to someone,

(01:56:02):
I know what you did to that person. You could
do to me, and what could nail the coffin shut
is observing disloyalty. There are certain roles people play in

(01:56:42):
our lives, and due to this, I don't believe that
we should bite the hands that feed us. Right, So,
there are boundaries. Even though somebody is despicable in some
ways due to a title, there's certain things you don't say, right.

(01:57:11):
I don't care how mad I am with you. Right,
I'm not gonna call your mother to be word unless,

(01:57:32):
unfortunately for her she called me that put it where
it fitting. So if I see you calling somebody's mother
such and such, I take notes disrespectful, uncalled for. And

(01:58:02):
if I know I wouldn't do that to you, I
make you understand that's disrespectful and that should be a
boundary you never cross again. I'm not gonna argue with you,

(01:58:23):
I said, I don't like conflict. I'm not gonna argue
with you. But if I have a connection to one
of your parents you could be fifty going on sixty,
I'm gonna make an observation with care and love. Now,

(01:58:45):
I know you didn't raise so and so to be
doing this and that to be saying this, and that
I know so and so came from a respectable home.
I know you wouldn't like it if you heard and
so did such and such. You told me if I
ever had an issue with so and so, I could

(01:59:07):
call on you and you'll get him together, because you
already know how he's living. She opened the door. Now

(01:59:34):
you gotta open the door. If you don't invite me
to help me, I'm not gonna push up on you. You
gotta open the door. So there was a reprimand that
was me. It doesn't matter how you feel. Maybe you

(01:59:57):
don't like this, maybe you don't like this, but you
don't cause someone's mother this, because if you do, it's
gonna be a issue. If she calls your mother this
ain't that, so it's gonna be a issue. Right, So

(02:00:18):
I better not be hearing about this and about that.
Done with peace. To the point, short and quick. I'm
solution oriented. We observe and absorb a lot.

Speaker 2 (02:00:52):
Of what we see.

Speaker 1 (02:00:55):
When we're growing up. I knew if someone had a
death wish, all you had to do was talk about
somebody's mother. I said, if you had a death wish,

(02:01:27):
just say the first letter of her name. Try that,
cause this person was very close to his mom. He's
the only child. You don't play that. So because I
witnessed that growing up, I'm not gonna be talking about

(02:01:50):
your mama like that because I saw what I saw.
Even if she didn't do something right, I saw what
I saw. We all have boundaries, we all have limits, right,

(02:02:20):
And then with me, because of what I absorbed and
what I saw when I was growing up, there will
never be a man that I will try to beat up.
Ever you hear me, I said never. My mother taught

(02:02:45):
me at a very young age, you do not have
the same strength with a man. And in the physical sense, right,
never hit a man.

Speaker 2 (02:03:09):
In my life.

Speaker 1 (02:03:12):
I've seen nonsense, but I've never seen any woman related
to me. I didn't say my ancestors alone. I said
any woman, and I heard a confirmation maybe you didn't
any woman related to me hit a man. And that's

(02:03:37):
why we don't tolerate it. What I'm not gonna do
to you, you not gonna do to me. If you
not gonna be respectful.

Speaker 2 (02:03:59):
And live, and.

Speaker 1 (02:04:07):
If you choose to be disrespectful and live an adulterous life,
you automatically lose your respect. You know why, cause I'm
not gonna do it. I remember what I heard about

(02:04:33):
women that were disrespecting themselves. When I was younger, I
remember those things. I remember though, words like prostitute and
whole when good for nothing and used and abused, And

(02:04:55):
I remember it ca to grow up and decide I'm
never gonna be like that, because I know what comes
with that. And I was trained a certain way. My

(02:05:20):
elders guided me. I didn't have to read everything from
a book. After I had my child, I remember my
grandmother sat me down. This is what you need to know.

(02:05:42):
This is what you will never do in front of
your child. This is why you will never do this
in front of your child. You have a male child.
He's watching you. Confirmation. Getting emotional cause I really feel

(02:06:10):
the presence of my grandmother. You have a male child.
He's watching you, even though he's a kid. He wasn't
even walking yet, just the baby, he's watching it. You

(02:06:33):
have to live a disciplined lifestyle, even though you're not
with his father. You have to live a disciplined lifestyle.
You don't need to be with this one, this one,
this one, this one.

Speaker 2 (02:06:52):
And that one.

Speaker 1 (02:06:56):
In fact, he only needs to know I do.

Speaker 3 (02:07:09):
He needs to see you before he goes to sleep
at night. He needs to see you when he wakes
up in the morning. He needs to see you when
he has to go in the hospital, and you're always
available to bring him to that hospital, to stay with him,

(02:07:35):
to take him home. He needs to see you reading
the Bible. He needs to see you going to church.

Speaker 1 (02:07:48):
She listed it, one by one how to raise my son,
and so I will never take all the credit. I
was trained for this, and I give credit when it's due.

(02:08:25):
No one will ever convince me that the reason before
she died, when she put my forehead next to her
forehead and made our foreheads touch, kept her eyes closed

(02:08:51):
and stayed confirmation, and stayed in that position, no one's
gonna ever be able to convince me that she didn't
give me a blessing. I was the only one she
gave a blessing too, and I was born on her birthday.

(02:09:24):
She lives in me. When people do not tolerate certain things,
it's not because they're picky alone. It's not because of

(02:09:53):
the illusions that people try to gather. It's because that's
what they're made of. I know she's in a special
place because she showed me where she is. She showed

(02:10:25):
me where she's sitting. She showed me the room in
a dream, a majestic room. One of the reasons why

(02:10:47):
I am the way I am is because I know,
even though you was raised a certain way, life means
you're gonna have your own experiences. I remember I was
sitting at her kitchen table and she heard two people

(02:11:08):
talking about a childhood got pregnant. And I was sixteen,
nowhere near that, didn't know anything about that life. And

(02:11:31):
when she saw those tee two people talking, she said,
you know why I don't gossip about people's daughters, cause
I have daughters, and I have a granddaughter, and I

(02:11:59):
wouldn't want some I'm talking about them. That's what I
came from, to mind your business. In fact, when you
kick your daughter out, you sent her to my house,

(02:12:24):
I'm gonna sit her down. I'm gonna tell her Grandma,
I know you here cause I heard that confirmation just now.

(02:13:06):
As much as I wanna say it that this is
my legacy alone, I can't. I can't say that because

(02:13:30):
before I even knew I was gonna be born, my
grandma was a youth leader. The group was called Youth

(02:13:52):
for Christ, and she was teaching teenagers how to be
ready for life. How to make better decisions. This is

(02:14:13):
one of the reasons she would never deny you send
so and so and so and so and so and
so to her house, because if I'm doing it for
everyone else, I'm not gonna leave mine behind.

Speaker 4 (02:14:30):
That's my niece, that's my nephew, that's my friend, that's
my cousin.

Speaker 1 (02:14:49):
We left New York many years ago, many years ago
when she died.

Speaker 2 (02:15:00):
The youth.

Speaker 1 (02:15:04):
That she used to mentor, we're now doctors, lawyers, r ends, professors, scientists.

(02:15:30):
One works with Google. They found a way to get
a plane ticket. They all showed up for her homecoming.

(02:16:01):
I know what gives you value, I know what makes
you worthy. Shallow things were always put on the back

(02:16:21):
burner all throughout my life. That's how I saw it done.
This is why. That's all I know. I understand you
need money to function, I know that, but money doesn't
run my life. Money is not gonna cause me to

(02:16:50):
accept your disrespect. Someone with less money can make me
feel like I'm the only woman in the world, and

(02:17:17):
someone who's a billionaire can tell me you not done
with that food hot? How much is your self respect?

(02:17:42):
Is it worth a billion dollars? What makes you worry.
Have you been there and made a difference. Have you

(02:18:16):
ever been a shoulder to cry on when someone thought
they were dying. Are you the type of person that

(02:18:40):
people would feel comfortable telling anything to cause they know
it goes nowhere? In fact, this annoys some of my

(02:19:06):
family members. This annoys some of my family cause they'll
be talking about something. Did you hear this?

Speaker 2 (02:19:15):
And this?

Speaker 1 (02:19:16):
And I'm like, I'm not gonna lie to you, But
I don't talk about people behind their back. I don't
wanna be in problems with he says, She say, I

(02:19:41):
don't like that. I stay away from that. So whether
I know, I don't know, you don't know. So when
you do find out, I didn't tell you, I as
a matter of fact, I said that two days ago
when I was on the phone with a family member.
If you find out I don't know and you don't know,

(02:20:06):
and it's the first time you heard it, cause let
peace ring. See. I love it when I hear what's
going on and my name's not mentioned. I didn't say nothing.
I didn't do nothing. I didn't go nowhere. I mind

(02:20:30):
my business and I have a very big family. Please
believe we got something to talk about. I just shut
my eyes, cover my ears, and rest my lips, because

(02:20:57):
you have the right to live how you want to live.
And just like I don't want anyone to get in
my face, you need to do this, You need to
do that. You need to do this is the same

(02:21:18):
way I respect the fact that you have your rights,
and you've been on earth long enough that you've earned
your rights. I've been on earth long enough that I've

(02:21:40):
earned my rights. I've earned my rights. To make you
invisible to me, I decide. As a matter of fact,

(02:22:08):
I had a family member that mentioned that I know
you live in your world. I know you live in
your world, and and that's exactly true. I can't I
can't even disagree with him on that. I choose for myself,

(02:22:35):
I reason for myself, I dictate for myself. Someone was
making a comparison about someone from the Bible, and no

(02:23:02):
one living today is like that person. That person is
like this. That's why the person is in the Bible. Listen.
I had to check the person and say, yeah, let
me help you understand something. God uses whoever he chooses.

(02:23:32):
There are many characters that we're in the Bible that
committed sins killing someone for their wife, stealing, backsliding. They

(02:24:25):
were not all perfect individuals, and no one knows, no
one but themselves, That's the truth of the matter. They
could wear a beautiful dress every Sunday or every Saturday,

(02:24:51):
or every any day. They could be the loudest one
in the choet. They could be preaching. They could have
the gift of foresight. They could talk in toms, they

(02:25:12):
could hear boney. God knows who that person is. And
to break it down for you, how do you know

(02:25:38):
who that person is? If you were to be honest
with yourself, even you don't know who you are confirmation,
Even you don't know who you are? I said, even

(02:25:59):
you don't know, don't you know? Meditation is a journey inward.
If it's a journey, you're observing, you're taking notes, you're learning,

(02:26:32):
they're parts of you you have yet to discover. So,
if we're gonna mind anything, mind how to get sober.

(02:27:01):
And I'm not only referring to drug addicts, alcoholics, sex addicts,
codependent people, gamblers. No, this is not only addressed to them.

(02:27:24):
Getting sober is being alert, being in tune, being able
to consider rationality, being able to hold yourself accountable, Being

(02:27:53):
able to say I was wrong, being able to understand,
making 'em and amends takes more than words. Can we
be real? I said, Can we be real? Cause? Cause

(02:28:15):
we gonna be real. We gonna be real. There are
seasons where you can decide. In this season, I'm going

(02:28:47):
to do my penance. What does that mean? If if
you felt that you could've handled something in a different way,
you aks God for guidance. What could I do to

(02:29:12):
better my cause? What could I do?

Speaker 2 (02:29:25):
Now?

Speaker 1 (02:29:28):
As I'm talking to you, I'm hearing somebody praying. That
means some of you are praying, and the person that's
praying is mentoring someone else. So some of you are
receiving by God's grace. Thank you God for using me

(02:29:56):
as a vessel. Thank you God for seeing me worthy.

(02:30:16):
Thank you God for making it known to me that
you see me as holy. All that matters is how
you see me. All that matters is that I resigne

(02:30:48):
in your life of holiness confirmation. Thank you, Thank you.
I'll repeat what I said. All that matters is, I

(02:31:08):
mean your life of homeliness. That doesn't give me the
assignment to say I'm better than you? You bad? You
back you bad. You get punished, and you get punished,

(02:31:30):
and you get punished. You get a car, and you
get a car, and you get a car. Your car
gets repossessed. Your car r gets repres repossessed. Your car
gets repossessed. That's not my calling, that's not a alignment.

(02:32:08):
It requires for you to know who you are to
serve in the capacity that God wants you to serve.
Before you can serve in the capacity God wants you

(02:32:28):
to serve, you have to know yourself. You have to
know yourself and be willing to have inner dialogue. I

(02:32:49):
have a strength in this area. I have a challenge
in this area. I have strength in this area. I
have a challenge in this I didn't say cheat. Like
when we were a tea. We were students and the
teacher said, let's grade the tests, let's grade the quiz,

(02:33:13):
and she told you the answer, and then you erased
the answer and you put the right answer, and you
gave yourself a check. I'm not saying that. I'm saying
if it's wrong, you follow the rules, you put an
X wrong, and you put the correct answer with your

(02:33:34):
red pen or your red pencil. At least that's how
we did it when I.

Speaker 2 (02:33:38):
Was in school.

Speaker 1 (02:33:41):
If I was wrong, I was wrong. Okay, And now
I know, And that's why we're being called to be

(02:34:04):
childlike in certain ways. We have to be able to
look at ourselves and see that wrong answer and use
that red pencil or that red pen X, this is
the correct answer. So now.

Speaker 2 (02:34:26):
I know.

Speaker 1 (02:34:33):
Now, due to my experience in facilitating support groups and
my interests in self development, I have made the acquaintance
of twelve steps, one being co dependence. Co dependent a

(02:34:59):
nonym people pleasers, people who like to self sacrifice, people
who put themselves confirmation, who puts themselves last on the list. Oh,

(02:35:21):
I got a paycheck, so this person needs this, This
person needs this, this person needs this. Okay, what do
I have left over? Okay, I'm gonna have to make
make it do. I'm gonna have to manage with this remainder. Meanwhile,

(02:35:41):
everyone else, their needs are being met everyone else. But
when it's me, Well, you might have to cancel this,
you might have to postpone this, you might I want
to change. I said no more, and someone that recognized

(02:36:04):
it in me. It's funny how it happened, because I
don't play about my child so every community service that
was available, I'll be the one to call you up
and make an appointment about my child. At the time,

(02:36:29):
he was like two almost three. Although I could've tried
to put his car seat in myself like others can,

(02:36:53):
I was aware of a community service that would have
someone who professionally knows how to place the car seident
because now he needed a bigger one, and so I

(02:37:14):
contacted her to come and do that. I learned about
mommy and Me programs where mothers would go in and
have playdates with their kids so their kids can meet
other kids, and it would be very organized in a sense.

(02:37:36):
Sometimes we would learn about different cultures and be introduced
to spirituality. And this is a public program, right waste
to meditate, you know. There were times they had field trips.
My son's first experience at going to immune Mum would

(02:38:02):
be at six months. Because they had all these field trips,
and regardless of his age, I had the option of
going or declining because I knew it was a safe place.
They would pick me up from my house, bring me

(02:38:23):
to the destination, and bring me home and they would
even pay for the tickets. You best believe I made
it on that Van and I got to know some
of the mothers, and we honestly thought we would have
been in each other's lives forever because we were ready

(02:38:46):
together because of pregnancy. We started this program during pregnancy.
All of the mothers involved mothers that were stressed out,

(02:39:19):
some that had depression, some that were going through trauma.
There are programs like that out there, and I was
at a stage in my life where I was healing

(02:39:40):
myself from disappointment and I was being taught various ways
to hope and attract wellness into my life. I'm not
all knowing, but I like to learn. I'm open to learning.

(02:40:08):
That's why I have a variety of skills because if
I'm interested, I wanna know more about it. If I
wanna know about more about it, I need to know
where to go. When I find out where to go,

(02:40:29):
I'm in the front row. That's me, and I conserve
all the gems because i'm'a make it my business to
pass it on. They're the ones who told me about

(02:40:54):
codependence Anonymous, because in sharing our stories, they began to
notice how I was always trying to make things work
out with everybody, even when they were not trying I

(02:41:15):
was always trying, and I was a very self critical man.
This is why I don't play when others try to
be critical towards me. This is why you're going to ignore,
because nobody can be more critical on themselves besides me.

(02:41:37):
Please believe, Please believe. I had to be delivered from
the well. I couldn't do this. Maybe if I had
done this, maybe, But what about their father? Where does

(02:41:57):
that come in? What are they called to learn? Because
I was called to learn this, and this experience happened
because it is and this a there's two sides to
every coin. Sometimes you have to be heads, sometimes you

(02:42:26):
have to tell. And so going through that group, because
it was an anonymous group, they introduced the twelve steps,

(02:42:47):
first one confirming that I needed a power greater than
myself to help me to move along. I've shared about

(02:43:08):
the twelve Steps so many times. I should be on payroll,
but I know it doesn't work that way. It's done
by volunteering. Those helped me to those meetings, helped me

(02:43:33):
to develop into who you speaking, who is speaking to
you today because eventually, when you complete the steps, you

(02:43:53):
get to lead meetings. I had to face that hesitation,
that anxiety. There's a big difference from you to stand
up and say hello, my name is Grace, and for
the room to say hi, Grace. Well, what I wanted

(02:44:21):
to share is I did such and such and such
and such, But in meditation, I remembered what occurred in
the last meeting. In the last meeting, we learned such
and such from the literature, and I was able to

(02:44:44):
apply it into that situation confirmation. And once I implemented
what I learned, I felt so much relief. I took
care of myself. I said no. In the past, I

(02:45:07):
would have said yes, even though that would have made
me uncomfortable. But I said no. And I see growth.
And when I stopped, thank you, Grace, and you sit down,
someone else stands up. It taught me humility. It taught

(02:45:34):
me we're all in this together. It taught me progress
is a choice. It taught me when growth happens, it

(02:45:56):
is seen not only by people in the rooms, but
family members seeing they see your emotional regulation. Friends see it.
They see your emotional regulation. Church sisters and brothers see it.

(02:46:19):
They see your emotional regulation. They see you setting boundaries,
they see you making healthier decisions. They see you loving yourself.

(02:46:43):
Getting support is a choice, and just because you commit
to a twelve step group. Now, most people who've been
in the rooms for a while believe they will be
there forever, because that type of discipline needs maintenance. I

(02:47:10):
used to be one of those believers. I don't see
there's anything wrong for people to do it for the
rest of their life, But in my case it was different.
It always occurred different because it was very timely to
go to this meeting and this meeting and this meeting,

(02:47:34):
and then being a parent, being in a relationship, such
and such. Others who don't commit in developing themselves don't
understand your need to work on yourself. That interferes with
your sobriety, even if your sobriety is related to your

(02:48:01):
wellness and having healthier relationships. In fact, they don't want
you in such environments because they're afraid that if you
go to the rooms, you'll hear the truth and you'll decide,
you know what, I don't want this anymore. So they

(02:48:28):
don't want you to go to counseling cause you may
come to that realization I don't want this anymore. Once
someone says I don't want this, anymore. Pay attention. Okay,

(02:48:48):
especially when they don't say I hate you, I can't
stand you, but they just say I don't want you anymore.
Pay attention. I heard a confidential prepare for burial. If

(02:49:13):
I say I'm not happy anymore, and I've said it
to someone several times, I'm talking to God. You hear me.
I'm telling God that you know I'm not happy with this. Right,

(02:49:41):
you know I need you to get a m get
me out of this. Right, you know this is not
good for my well being? Right, I talk to God.
I pray to God, and I talk to God. And yes,
there's a difference in my belief. Prayer can focus more

(02:50:18):
on and objective. Talking can be more random, but in
some sense it's the same thing as well. And whenever

(02:50:49):
I tell God I'm not happy, I need this, I
need that make a way, I know it's gonna happen.
I don't have to know how it's gonna happen, but
I know it's gonna happen. And I trust God because God,

(02:51:12):
remember when you did this for me, Remember when you
did that, Remember when you did that. Remember when you
did that, And there was no way for me to
get out of this or that or this or that.
You see, everything happens for a reason due to all
of the conflict, the unnecessary, unnecessary persecution, the lies that

(02:51:43):
were told about me, the smearing campaigns. I've experienced it
at all already, I'm not concerned about. But what if
this happens? You already said the worst? Am I right? Fear? What?

(02:52:13):
And I'm noticing this is affecting the rest of my
life because I've already experienced it in this place in
my life. But I know in this place if it happens,
So why in this place if it happens? So why

(02:52:34):
and this place if it happens, what's the answer? So
why am I still alive? Do I have a smile
on my face? Do I do happy dances? Do I

(02:52:55):
praise God? Do I have hope for a better future?
Someone knocked and do something to someone that was just knocking,
who just told me I got you some things? Do
I still get provisioned? Do I still get provided for

(02:53:18):
or all my needs met?

Speaker 2 (02:53:23):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (02:53:24):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh huh okay, uh huh okay,
uh huh okay.

Speaker 1 (02:53:41):
What's next? You got to go to school to be prepared.
You heard that confirmation outside.

Speaker 2 (02:53:59):
That was the arm.

Speaker 1 (02:54:02):
That's the alarm. You got to go to school to
be well prepared for what's ahead. Pay attention to the environment.
How a massive people.

Speaker 2 (02:54:25):
Is being.

Speaker 1 (02:54:34):
I'm trying to choose my words wisely redirected in another direction.
Everything that happens above happens below. So in the spiritual sense,
what we are seeing in the three D and what

(02:54:56):
it what is occurring spiritually is aligned. That's what some
people are overlooking the same way people are being deported.
And I remember for seeing this and seeing this, if

(02:55:22):
not last year, the year before last year, I spoke
on immigration. I spoke on when people are trying to
steal people's destinies, are trying to claim people's identities, and

(02:55:52):
so forth, judgment will be called. I foresee judgment being called.
I said that years ago. And notice the mirroring effect.

(02:56:16):
How many people who are trying to steal people's destinies
are being exposed. They're being redirected to their rank because

(02:56:38):
they were in the wrong place at the wrong time,
doing the wrong thing. And we're witnessing nass deportation physically
and spiritually. This is the state of humanity currently. And

(02:57:12):
you know one thing I respect I respect Ai, you'd
be surprised what you can find out with a question.

(02:57:36):
I'm not gonna go into too many details, but prophecies
have been made about a certain president and his role.
Prophecies have been made about his on and off partner

(02:58:01):
and his room. Why are they here? Why were they called?
What is their mission? One is called to bring destruction,
one is called to influence mass consciousness. And even though

(02:58:42):
it may go over some people's heads, due to the Internet,
many have been educated about what was hidden behind those pulpits.

(02:59:06):
They shared what they wanted to share, but when you omit,
it's still alive. It's not the whole story. When have
you heard people stealing destinies ten years ago? That was

(02:59:32):
unheard of in certain populations, unheard of unless you was
living that life, raised in that form of ritual congregation,

(02:59:54):
those in the church