November 21, 2023 • 30 mins
Archie Andrews was a teenage sitcom directly adapted from the very popular comic strip of Bob Montana. It began to be heard on NBC Blue on May 31, 1943 and lasted on-air until September 5, 1943—the period during which radio adaptations of comic characters were trending. The show was also broadcasted on Mutual from 1944 to 1945.
Kenneth Banghart served as the announcer, while Bob Hastings played the lead character Archie during the show's NBC times. Other actors that took over the main role include Burt Boyar, Jack Grimes, and Charles Mullen. The other important character role, Jughead, was given to Cameron Andrews and Hal Stone. Up to now, Archie Comics is still popular and loved by many fans.
Kenneth Banghart served as the announcer, while Bob Hastings played the lead character Archie during the show's NBC times. Other actors that took over the main role include Burt Boyar, Jack Grimes, and Charles Mullen. The other important character role, Jughead, was given to Cameron Andrews and Hal Stone. Up to now, Archie Comics is still popular and loved by many fans.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:19):
Why what do you want? Comeout right away, judge. It's a
matter of life or death or yes. And you relax, two folks if
you can, because here he isagain, the youngster, millions of readers
(00:40):
of Archie comics no one loves sowell, and brought to you by Swift
and Company, makers of Swift PremiumFranks, Archie Andrews and all this gang
and deep to see port known fromthe West Coast to New York, Swift
(01:03):
Premium Fanks, Swift Premium Banks ina new handy one pound pack. Yes,
for your guarantee of protection. SwiftsPremium Franks now come to you cellophane
wrapped in handy one pound packages,made right here in your own vicinity or
in a nearby city. Swift PremiumFranks are wrapped in a new handy sanitary
(01:23):
flavor saber pack and brought to youat the very peak of their tantalyzing flavor,
with all their natural goodness sealed inthat mouth watering flavor goodness of beef
and pork blended together, is wrappedin cellophane for your protection. So kids,
tell your mom that you want SwiftPremium Franks, and Mom gets on
(01:46):
today They're delicious, and you'll beglad to know that every delectable morsel of
Swifts Premium Franks is extra nourishing,extra good. Ask for them today.
Swift Premium Franks in the State Militaryone pound package. And now, suppose
(02:07):
you join me in a visit tothe town where I live. Riverdale is
its name, and it's pretty mucha typical American city. It's got two
schools, one park, seven churches, a museum, a zoo, and
the Andrews family. Suppose we makethe Andrews home our first stop. It's
(02:28):
Saturday evening, and we find missusAndrews in the living room sewing as our
chie Andrews enter, I'll be ina taxi. Honey. Oh hi,
ma, real Archie. What areyou so happy about me? Oh?
I don't know, Mom, guessmaybe it's my big date tonight. Oh
he's going now sure, Mom,it's Saturday nights. You know I'm going
to the dance? Or who areyou taking here? Well? I'm taking
(02:51):
Veronica and Judge's taking Betty. Butwe're all going together. Oh. Well
that's nice. You should have alovely time. Yeah, I think we
will. Well, I better startdressing or off I don't know who can
that be. I'll get him onhard. I did. She was,
Jughead, Who do you expect coffeeheads? Jughead? I expected you,
(03:13):
but not so soon. I'm noteven dressed yet. I'll hurry up.
I want to get to the dancer. Why the rush? The only time
I can dance without bumping into everyoneis when no one else is on the
dance floor. Yeah, I knowwhat you mean, MSUs Andrews. What
you're doing? Still dining with somesods? Oh? Yeah, gee,
I had a big hole in mysock when I was dressing tonight. Yeah,
(03:36):
but it's okay now, Well didyou sew it just so? No?
I decided not to wear any sock. Oh fine, jughead, you
mean you're going to the dance withoutany though? Sure? He's pasted too
long anyway, Well listen, jugIf we want to get there early,
I better get started. Come onupstairs while I get fresh. O kaos,
(04:00):
Hello, dear Hello, Fred?I wanted read Why are you wearing
your bathrobe and slippers? Do youwant me to wear a negligee and galoshan?
Fred? Never mind being funny andtell me why you're in your bathrobe
at seven thirty. Well, mygirl. So happens that unless you have
some violent objections, I am goingto take a bar a bath. Oh
(04:21):
but fred, I thought we mightgo to a movie tonight. Here to
night, dear. I'm just inthe mood for a nice hot bath,
yes, sir, I'd like nothingbetter than to relax for about half an
hour and just soap and soap.Ah, yes, sir, that's my
motto. Tonight, soap and soapor soaken soap. Bet you can't say
(04:43):
that three times past, No,dear, I probably can't go ahead try
it so open, so so andso so. You see it can't be
done. Honestly, what do youever grow up? Not? Go on
take your bath? That's exactly whatI'm gonna do right fifth minute? Yeah,
seem you know no one of that'sgonna be hot enough. I'll try
(05:12):
it, don't shore is hot?Gosh, I gotta put some cold water
on you, didn't you dud dude? Did well? I don't want to
be about right now. Let's seeit's feezing and the goal was too hot
mouse too oh worlse more hotted upon sadday that to do it, I
(05:45):
would see. Ah, Yes,they're just riding, Yes, sir,
just think that is that the phone? That is the phone? Are you
getting that? Mary? Oh?Fine? Now where she disappeared too?
(06:08):
Well, I suppose I'll have toanswer it myself. I don't know why
that phone always rings at the wrongtime. Always all right, all right,
I'm coming Hello. Hello, Oh, hello, Betty. I don't
think so, Betty. I haven'tseen him since dinner. Well, I
(06:30):
just wanted to talk to him aboutthe dance we're all going to. Would
you give him a message for me, mister, Yes, Betty? What
is it? Well? Would youtell him to try real hard not to
be late, to be late,because somehow he always is late, especially
to dance, especially to dances,and we always mist half the dance,
always miss half the dance. I'dlike to get there right at the start
(06:53):
of the dance, start of thedance. Can you remember all that,
mister Andrews. Yes, Betty,But would it be all right with you
if I just told Archie you wantto want him to get there on time?
Well, yeah, I guess that'sall right. I'll tell him not
already. Bye bye. Thanks.Oh now you get here, Mary?
(07:15):
Where were you when that phone wasringing? The kitchen, and my hands
were were and I couldn't come tothe phone. All right, but it
so happens. I was about totake a bath and I had to come
all the way down here just becauseBetty wants Archie to be on time at
some dance. Yes, that's all. And if the phone rings again,
you answer it? All right?Fine, things, I have to do
(07:40):
everything around here. I I nowwho locked this confounded door? Archie?
Are you in there? All right? But don't be taking a bath in
my top, Archie, I wasgonna take a bath. I'm going out
(08:03):
tonight. So you see a nicetub of hot warden, you just jump
right in? Do you think thatwater grew there? Oh? Fine,
well, I guess now that you'rein the tub, you're in the top.
But don't stay there all night.You're here, dog ahead? What
(08:24):
are you doing in there? Oh? Great? Well, scrub a little
faster and get out of there.Okay, Marry Larry. Do you know
what happened? While I was downhere taking a message for Archie? Archie
was upstairs taking a bas for me. What? Yeah, he did jump
(08:48):
right into the bathtub while my backwas turned. Yes, oh for pity?
Hello, Oh Veronica no, he'supstairs in the he's upstairs, Veronica,
your phone mine, huh. I'dlove it, Veronica, absolutely love
(09:13):
it. Archie. Oh oh yes, Arky telephone, He was, okay,
you'll be right here. Well,Mary, I guess that'll teach that
boy to take a bath when noone's looking. Well, you know what
(09:35):
I mean. But you're just cuttingoff your nose despite the fay to know.
Now you'll only have to wait thatmuch longer to take your bath.
Yes, I never thought of that. Thanks that, Archie. What are
you doing running around in that towel? He whisma, I can't run around
without him? Okay, answered thephone. Hi Flow hell oh yes,
(10:07):
bye Archie. Can I'm anxious tosee you leader Archie. Archie, either
say something, I'll get off thatboat. She was, okay, that
(10:30):
okay, Hello, Veronica. Diddo you want to speak to me about
anything special? I wonder if youcould get to the dance a little lake?
Did you say, late, Veronica, I hate to be the first
one there. I thought that couldmake an entrance you well, I guess
so, all right, and actiea little lad? Fine now by now
(10:54):
Veronica, fine, now bye,now bye, Oh Archie. I'll Veronica,
you get up there and finish thatbath. Oh okay, that okay,
I'll be I'll before you can sayJack Robinson. Archie, I don't
want to say Jack Robinson. Iwant to take a bath. Alreay,
(11:16):
we're going to have to do somethingabout that boy. No, never mind,
and now, Fred I like totake a bath. But I'm in
the mood for taking a bath,and not just any time. That boy
knew I was waiting. And yethe stood around on that phone, giggling
like he was laying an egg.Yes, but he'll be through in a
minute, laying an egg. Notaking a bath? Well a minute,
(11:37):
it's too long if you'd be through. But now Archie, yes, Archier,
you yet no waiting for to stop? Hold up? Yes, Marry,
you see what I had? Rememberyour blood pressure? Blood pressure?
(12:00):
Mary, in a minute, Iwon't need a hot path. I'm boiling
right now, Marry. If thatboy is well, it's about time here,
(12:24):
you see see what mind? Justdon't take your bath? Well,
thank you, madam, thank you. I'm so glad I have your permission.
Let's go take your bath, shesaid, What does she think I've
been trying to do all evening?Play king pong. Fine thing. Well,
anyway, he's finally out of here. Oh maybe I can take a
(12:48):
knife. Oh no, Mary,this water I poose? Fine? Well
I do now what? All right? The water pipe it was knocking.
(13:20):
I thought the house was falling injug. It wasn't the house. It
was the water pipe knocking. Mary. For the third and last time,
the water pipe was knocking, Yes, knocking. Evidently the waster is gone
wash it. Yes, the rubberwasher that keeps the fawcet from leaking must
be worn out. And look,why do I have to explain how the
(13:41):
whole house is built? This forrcetneeds a new washer, that's all.
Oh, well, I guess youjust have to forget about your bath.
I'll call a plumber tomorrow, Marry, I am not going to forget about
my bas Tomorrow is Sunday, andyou can't get a plumber on Sunday.
Then I want a bath tonight.And any fool can put a new washer
in a poset. So I'm gonnado it, by George, even if
(14:03):
I have to rebuild a whole house. Yes, Bred Arty up in the
bedroom, Yes, where are you? I think I have a water off
(14:30):
down here? And God to fry. Dear off, but where want those
pipes start knocking again? Mary?Shut? All right, dear Archie,
yes, ma, are you upin the bathroom? Yes, ma'am,
(14:50):
so try the hot water, dear, and see if it's all you wish.
Will those pipe start knocking there?Archie? Just do as I asked
you. All right, mom,Hi, bred Bread, Maybe you want
(15:22):
to forget about it, don't besurely don't em out of my money right
now? And burned down here?I think this one the one? What
one under the water under the boiler? Fred? How'd you ever get under
the boiler? No? I knowmy house. I'll you to try the
(15:45):
water again, all right, dear, oh dear my uncle day, all
right, all right, I'm coming. Oh well, hello there, mister
Jerry. How nice to see you. I want to come here. Thank
you, well, missus Andrews.I just dropped by to tell you the
news, the big news. Whatbig news? You mean you haven't heard?
(16:10):
No, I don't think I have. That's fine that I can be
the first to tell you what.Well, gosh, I just don't know
where to begin, but I justfound out that Swift's premium Franks, you
know, those extra delicious franks thatare all dinner quality neat. Well,
you can get them now in anew handy one pound cellophane package. Really,
missus Sherry, Well, that's simplygrand. It will be so convenient
(16:33):
that way to buy them in ahandy package. All in that celaphane packie
makes them completely sanitary, doesn't itsanitary? Well, that's cellophane rapping.
You know that Swift's premium franks areextra fresh, pullsome and flavorful no matter
where or when you buy them.Man, what was that? What'd you
say? Oh? Excuse me asI was saying. Besides being convenient and
(16:59):
sanitary, the new cellophane package assuresyou that Swift's premium franks reach you at
the very peak of their flavor goodness, juicy pork and tender beef blended together
in one delightful frank. Hi Land, what'll they think of, Nick?
Well, I'm sure glad you toldme about Swift's premium franks, Missus Jerry.
(17:19):
You know, my mother told meabout the wonderful product Swift make before
I was married, and her mothertold her about him years ago. So
we're really a Swift family from wayback, Oh, missus Andrews. What a
real pleasure it is to talk toyou, Jerry. And you know,
Missus Andrews, to make sure thatSwift's premium franks reach you as fresh as
(17:40):
fresh can be. Swift makes themclose to where they're Soul makes them in
the vicinity or in a nearby city. Well, mister Jerry, I'm certainly
glad you took all the trouble tocome down here and tell me you see.
Oh, no trouble at all.And I do hope I haven't taken
up too much of your time.But when I heard about the new Flavor
Safer pack, I rushed right overhere because I knew you'd be interested.
(18:03):
Well, I'm certainly glad you did. In fact, I think I'll go
down and get some Swiss premium Franksright now. Well, missus Andrews,
I'll drive you down all right,just as soon as I get my things.
Let's sea give my curry Keith.I'm sure mister Andrews will be wild
about those franks. Yes, Ihave, mister Andrews. Oh here,
(18:27):
Oh gosh, he's gone to theboiler under the wall. I can't explain
just now, but I'll just haveto drive down myself later, but thank
you so much for dropping by.It was the pleasure of missus Andrews.
Goodbye, goodbye, mister Sherry.Fred. What are you shouting about?
(18:52):
Fred? I don't know, Fred, don't be sarcastic, Archie. Yes'
is the water off up there?You're it's been off for ten minutes?
Red, the water's off. Nowwhat do you want me to do?
(19:18):
Pull me off? Andy? AndI still say? You want to let
a plumber do the job. Mary, let's knock go through that again.
Now that we have the water shutoff and it won't take two seconds.
(19:41):
Besides, I really need a bathafter crawling around down in that basement.
Well you just let him do it. Oh jeez, oh, hello Dougan,
what are you doing up here waitingfor? Where is he in the
bathroom? In the bathroom, aren'tyou you in there? You're dad?
Don't you want me? No?Not anymore? Now, unlocked this door
(20:03):
so I can get it that horses. Unlock it, Archie. You must
have this door is locked. Seehow could that happen? I am not
interested in how it happened. Justunlock it. Yes, then it's the
door. Knock the knob, Yes, fell off oh no, where is
(20:29):
that serious? Oh no, dear, not at all. I'll just have
to saw this door open now thatcall? Oh what a job he was
(21:00):
there? What are you stopping for, Archie? I just stopped to catch
my breath for a minute. AndI'll be patient. I'm almost through here.
Can you hurry? Jug and Igot stay Archie, I am hurrying
now. Just be quiet. Ididn't intend to spend Saturday night waiting outside
of bathroom. Jug you'll be quiettoo. Your father be through in a
minute, Archie. Yeah, justa few horse strokes. I ah,
(21:26):
yeah, that does it? Goodness, Archie. See if you can knock
that piece out, the piece ofwood around the doorknob that I just thought?
Oh okay, look up, goodboy, Hello everybody Hello. I'll
get your head out of that holeand open the door. Boy, I
(21:49):
bet not many houses have a holein the bathroom door. Archie. Just
get your head out of that hole. Okayo gee, mm that's funny,
Archie. Hurry up? She withthat, don't She's like I would if
I could. Yes, Arty,I know you, if you could,
(22:10):
Archie, what do you mean thishead is stuck in there? And how
got how can it be? Stuck. He got it in deneath. Yeah,
but a cheer won't come out.She went. Now, listen,
Archie, if it went in,it's got to come out. Archie holds
silima. Hey, what are youdoing that? That way way to get
him out? Dad? Quit it? Hey thow some that? Well,
(22:33):
I guess that would't work. Let'ssee. There must be some way to
do this. Maybe you should takethe hinges door. I can't. They're
inside. Well, Archie, can'tyou open that door? No? Mom,
it opens out and my shoulders arejammed against the wall. It must
be some way. There better besome way. I'll you'll look silly wearing
(22:53):
a door around my neck the restof my life, especially a bathroom door.
I knew it looks good. Doug, be quiet, play never mind,
Doug head and get Archie out.I think he's turning blue. Mary,
don't get hysterically. He is notturning blue, No, just a
little green. Doug, keep quiet, Mary. I am now just be
(23:15):
patient for a moment. Look,Archie, I have a plan. You
must have put your head in sideways. The hole is washed it that way?
Gee, maybe I did, Andtry to take it out that way.
One turn your head sideways. Okayit more, Okay, turn it
more. If he turns it anymore, he won't know if he's coming or
(23:37):
going. Keep crying, Archie,here, I'll help you. Ouch,
not so lord that ringing his knee, ex Yu the best spot of the
evening. Come on, Archie turns. Okay, I'm hey, I'm out
last, Archie. I think here, Doug ahead, please go see who
(24:00):
that is at lookout so I canget to that face and put that washer
in red to give up that eye. Now, Mary, don't be silly.
The worst is over. All Ihave to do is turn this posad
on and she wish's sake, ja, I thought you said the water was
turned off. Geez it was allthat. Oh here you are positive.
(24:22):
But the pipes did not that time? Yes, I know they didn't.
Did not? Oh, good greetdid not? You mean you started all
this fuck for no reason? Mary? I wait an everybody that he would
you please wire wire that's now listento me. All of you nonsense has
(25:03):
gone far enough. Do you hearfar enough? Yes? Yes, yes,
back. All I want to dois take a bath, that's all.
That's a nice quiet bath. Isthat asking too much? No,
mister Andrew, No, dear noday. All right, now, I
admit I don't know what the dickenshappened to those water pipes, but the
(25:23):
fact remains, if you kids haven'tbeen getting in my way all evening,
i'd have had my bath an hourago, Yes, mister Andrew, Yes,
dear yes, dear dad. Soif you kids are going to a
dance for Pete's sake, go aheadand I'll get my bath. Okay,
okay, come on, Sue.Well that's settled, and thanks goodness it
(25:47):
is. I don't want to hearanymore about a bath. Don't worry,
you won't. Oh me quite anight, quite a nice. I don't
suppose anything else can happen. Justfeel that water just right. I'm set
(26:07):
that you. Well, that oughtto be enough water. Fine. Now
just take this bathroom. Walk yeahand step in, little one. Oh
oh oh god, ah here weare are fine. Fine, that's what
(26:40):
the doctor order. Now I neededOh fine, Mary, oh Mary,
bring me a piece of soft please, now the rison aren't you must use
the last of it? Nearly allI want pizzas of forget my Oh how
(27:15):
these things happened to me? Yes, it never rains, but it pours
(27:37):
at the Andrews House. We'll seehow the storm ended in just a moment.
Meanwhile, Tender Beef to Seaport knownfrom the West Coast to New York.
Swiftspremium Franks, Swift Spremium Franks.Friends, you really know what you're
getting when you ask for Swift Premiumfranks, made right here in your own
(28:00):
vicinity or in a nearby city,so you know they're fresh cellophane raft,
so you know they're sanitary, madeby Swift, so you know their top
quality. So ask for them today. Swift's Premium Franks and the new handy
one pound cellophane packages. And whydo write your dealers? Be sure to
ask for Swift's Brookfield Sausage. Wonderfulfor breakfast, ideal for a quick,
(28:23):
easy to fix dinner. Swift's BrookfieldSausage is just right, yes, just
right, not too mild, nottoo spicy, but season two just right
perfection. Ask for Swift's Brookfield Sausage, the sausage with a just right seasoning.
And don't forget that your dealer hasa tempting variety of Swift's Premium table
(28:44):
ready meats. Swift's Premium Salami isbeing featured this month, and you'll find
it perfect for hot weather suppers,snacks, lunches, and picnics. And
now back to the end, andmister and missus Andrews have just gotten to
sleep. Oh no, that yougeez? Did I wake you? Yes?
(29:22):
Rtieu certainly did see. I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd be asleep.
Well we're not. Now do youhave a nice time at the dance
here? Well sort of? Mom, Veronica and I won the dinner Bug
contest. Oh that's nice, butyou'd think that dance committee would spend some
money on prizes. Bye. What'dyou get? Well, Veronica got some
(29:44):
nice perfume, but all I gotwith some plain old bath soap. What.
Oh no, you've been listening toanother chapter of the Adventures of Archie
Andrews, written by Carl Zampell andbased on the copyrighted feature appearing in Archie
(30:08):
Comics Magazine. Archie is played byBob Hastings, jug Head by Harlan Stone.
Mom and Dad Andrews are played byAlice Yureman and Arthur Q. Bryan.
Veronica and Betty by Gloria Mann andRosemary Rice. This program was produced
and directed by Kenneth McGregor. Listenagain next Saturday, when Swift and Company,
makers of Swifts Premium Franks, bringyou more of the merry adventures of
(30:30):
Archie Andrews. This is Bob Sherry, wishing you a very pleasant weekend along
Why what do you want? Comeout right away, judge. It's a
matter of life or death or yes. And you relax, two folks if
you can, because here he isagain, the youngster, millions of readers
(00:40):
of Archie comics no one loves sowell, and brought to you by Swift
and Company, makers of Swift PremiumFranks, Archie Andrews and all this gang
and deep to see port known fromthe West Coast to New York, Swift
(01:03):
Premium Fanks, Swift Premium Banks ina new handy one pound pack. Yes,
for your guarantee of protection. SwiftsPremium Franks now come to you cellophane
wrapped in handy one pound packages,made right here in your own vicinity or
in a nearby city. Swift PremiumFranks are wrapped in a new handy sanitary
(01:23):
flavor saber pack and brought to youat the very peak of their tantalyzing flavor,
with all their natural goodness sealed inthat mouth watering flavor goodness of beef
and pork blended together, is wrappedin cellophane for your protection. So kids,
tell your mom that you want SwiftPremium Franks, and Mom gets on
(01:46):
today They're delicious, and you'll beglad to know that every delectable morsel of
Swifts Premium Franks is extra nourishing,extra good. Ask for them today.
Swift Premium Franks in the State Militaryone pound package. And now, suppose
(02:07):
you join me in a visit tothe town where I live. Riverdale is
its name, and it's pretty mucha typical American city. It's got two
schools, one park, seven churches, a museum, a zoo, and
the Andrews family. Suppose we makethe Andrews home our first stop. It's
(02:28):
Saturday evening, and we find missusAndrews in the living room sewing as our
chie Andrews enter, I'll be ina taxi. Honey. Oh hi,
ma, real Archie. What areyou so happy about me? Oh?
I don't know, Mom, guessmaybe it's my big date tonight. Oh
he's going now sure, Mom,it's Saturday nights. You know I'm going
to the dance? Or who areyou taking here? Well? I'm taking
(02:51):
Veronica and Judge's taking Betty. Butwe're all going together. Oh. Well
that's nice. You should have alovely time. Yeah, I think we
will. Well, I better startdressing or off I don't know who can
that be. I'll get him onhard. I did. She was,
Jughead, Who do you expect coffeeheads? Jughead? I expected you,
(03:13):
but not so soon. I'm noteven dressed yet. I'll hurry up.
I want to get to the dancer. Why the rush? The only time
I can dance without bumping into everyoneis when no one else is on the
dance floor. Yeah, I knowwhat you mean, MSUs Andrews. What
you're doing? Still dining with somesods? Oh? Yeah, gee,
I had a big hole in mysock when I was dressing tonight. Yeah,
(03:36):
but it's okay now, Well didyou sew it just so? No?
I decided not to wear any sock. Oh fine, jughead, you
mean you're going to the dance withoutany though? Sure? He's pasted too
long anyway, Well listen, jugIf we want to get there early,
I better get started. Come onupstairs while I get fresh. O kaos,
(04:00):
Hello, dear Hello, Fred?I wanted read Why are you wearing
your bathrobe and slippers? Do youwant me to wear a negligee and galoshan?
Fred? Never mind being funny andtell me why you're in your bathrobe
at seven thirty. Well, mygirl. So happens that unless you have
some violent objections, I am goingto take a bar a bath. Oh
(04:21):
but fred, I thought we mightgo to a movie tonight. Here to
night, dear. I'm just inthe mood for a nice hot bath,
yes, sir, I'd like nothingbetter than to relax for about half an
hour and just soap and soap.Ah, yes, sir, that's my
motto. Tonight, soap and soapor soaken soap. Bet you can't say
(04:43):
that three times past, No,dear, I probably can't go ahead try
it so open, so so andso so. You see it can't be
done. Honestly, what do youever grow up? Not? Go on
take your bath? That's exactly whatI'm gonna do right fifth minute? Yeah,
seem you know no one of that'sgonna be hot enough. I'll try
(05:12):
it, don't shore is hot?Gosh, I gotta put some cold water
on you, didn't you dud dude? Did well? I don't want to
be about right now. Let's seeit's feezing and the goal was too hot
mouse too oh worlse more hotted upon sadday that to do it, I
(05:45):
would see. Ah, Yes,they're just riding, Yes, sir,
just think that is that the phone? That is the phone? Are you
getting that? Mary? Oh?Fine? Now where she disappeared too?
(06:08):
Well, I suppose I'll have toanswer it myself. I don't know why
that phone always rings at the wrongtime. Always all right, all right,
I'm coming Hello. Hello, Oh, hello, Betty. I don't
think so, Betty. I haven'tseen him since dinner. Well, I
(06:30):
just wanted to talk to him aboutthe dance we're all going to. Would
you give him a message for me, mister, Yes, Betty? What
is it? Well? Would youtell him to try real hard not to
be late, to be late,because somehow he always is late, especially
to dance, especially to dances,and we always mist half the dance,
always miss half the dance. I'dlike to get there right at the start
(06:53):
of the dance, start of thedance. Can you remember all that,
mister Andrews. Yes, Betty,But would it be all right with you
if I just told Archie you wantto want him to get there on time?
Well, yeah, I guess that'sall right. I'll tell him not
already. Bye bye. Thanks.Oh now you get here, Mary?
(07:15):
Where were you when that phone wasringing? The kitchen, and my hands
were were and I couldn't come tothe phone. All right, but it
so happens. I was about totake a bath and I had to come
all the way down here just becauseBetty wants Archie to be on time at
some dance. Yes, that's all. And if the phone rings again,
you answer it? All right?Fine, things, I have to do
(07:40):
everything around here. I I nowwho locked this confounded door? Archie?
Are you in there? All right? But don't be taking a bath in
my top, Archie, I wasgonna take a bath. I'm going out
(08:03):
tonight. So you see a nicetub of hot warden, you just jump
right in? Do you think thatwater grew there? Oh? Fine,
well, I guess now that you'rein the tub, you're in the top.
But don't stay there all night.You're here, dog ahead? What
(08:24):
are you doing in there? Oh? Great? Well, scrub a little
faster and get out of there.Okay, Marry Larry. Do you know
what happened? While I was downhere taking a message for Archie? Archie
was upstairs taking a bas for me. What? Yeah, he did jump
(08:48):
right into the bathtub while my backwas turned. Yes, oh for pity?
Hello, Oh Veronica no, he'supstairs in the he's upstairs, Veronica,
your phone mine, huh. I'dlove it, Veronica, absolutely love
(09:13):
it. Archie. Oh oh yes, Arky telephone, He was, okay,
you'll be right here. Well,Mary, I guess that'll teach that
boy to take a bath when noone's looking. Well, you know what
(09:35):
I mean. But you're just cuttingoff your nose despite the fay to know.
Now you'll only have to wait thatmuch longer to take your bath.
Yes, I never thought of that. Thanks that, Archie. What are
you doing running around in that towel? He whisma, I can't run around
without him? Okay, answered thephone. Hi Flow hell oh yes,
(10:07):
bye Archie. Can I'm anxious tosee you leader Archie. Archie, either
say something, I'll get off thatboat. She was, okay, that
(10:30):
okay, Hello, Veronica. Diddo you want to speak to me about
anything special? I wonder if youcould get to the dance a little lake?
Did you say, late, Veronica, I hate to be the first
one there. I thought that couldmake an entrance you well, I guess
so, all right, and actiea little lad? Fine now by now
(10:54):
Veronica, fine, now bye,now bye, Oh Archie. I'll Veronica,
you get up there and finish thatbath. Oh okay, that okay,
I'll be I'll before you can sayJack Robinson. Archie, I don't
want to say Jack Robinson. Iwant to take a bath. Alreay,
(11:16):
we're going to have to do somethingabout that boy. No, never mind,
and now, Fred I like totake a bath. But I'm in
the mood for taking a bath,and not just any time. That boy
knew I was waiting. And yethe stood around on that phone, giggling
like he was laying an egg.Yes, but he'll be through in a
minute, laying an egg. Notaking a bath? Well a minute,
(11:37):
it's too long if you'd be through. But now Archie, yes, Archier,
you yet no waiting for to stop? Hold up? Yes, Marry,
you see what I had? Rememberyour blood pressure? Blood pressure?
(12:00):
Mary, in a minute, Iwon't need a hot path. I'm boiling
right now, Marry. If thatboy is well, it's about time here,
(12:24):
you see see what mind? Justdon't take your bath? Well,
thank you, madam, thank you. I'm so glad I have your permission.
Let's go take your bath, shesaid, What does she think I've
been trying to do all evening?Play king pong. Fine thing. Well,
anyway, he's finally out of here. Oh maybe I can take a
(12:48):
knife. Oh no, Mary,this water I poose? Fine? Well
I do now what? All right? The water pipe it was knocking.
(13:20):
I thought the house was falling injug. It wasn't the house. It
was the water pipe knocking. Mary. For the third and last time,
the water pipe was knocking, Yes, knocking. Evidently the waster is gone
wash it. Yes, the rubberwasher that keeps the fawcet from leaking must
be worn out. And look,why do I have to explain how the
(13:41):
whole house is built? This forrcetneeds a new washer, that's all.
Oh, well, I guess youjust have to forget about your bath.
I'll call a plumber tomorrow, Marry, I am not going to forget about
my bas Tomorrow is Sunday, andyou can't get a plumber on Sunday.
Then I want a bath tonight.And any fool can put a new washer
in a poset. So I'm gonnado it, by George, even if
(14:03):
I have to rebuild a whole house. Yes, Bred Arty up in the
bedroom, Yes, where are you? I think I have a water off
(14:30):
down here? And God to fry. Dear off, but where want those
pipes start knocking again? Mary?Shut? All right, dear Archie,
yes, ma, are you upin the bathroom? Yes, ma'am,
(14:50):
so try the hot water, dear, and see if it's all you wish.
Will those pipe start knocking there?Archie? Just do as I asked
you. All right, mom,Hi, bred Bread, Maybe you want
(15:22):
to forget about it, don't besurely don't em out of my money right
now? And burned down here?I think this one the one? What
one under the water under the boiler? Fred? How'd you ever get under
the boiler? No? I knowmy house. I'll you to try the
(15:45):
water again, all right, dear, oh dear my uncle day, all
right, all right, I'm coming. Oh well, hello there, mister
Jerry. How nice to see you. I want to come here. Thank
you, well, missus Andrews.I just dropped by to tell you the
news, the big news. Whatbig news? You mean you haven't heard?
(16:10):
No, I don't think I have. That's fine that I can be
the first to tell you what.Well, gosh, I just don't know
where to begin, but I justfound out that Swift's premium Franks, you
know, those extra delicious franks thatare all dinner quality neat. Well,
you can get them now in anew handy one pound cellophane package. Really,
missus Sherry, Well, that's simplygrand. It will be so convenient
(16:33):
that way to buy them in ahandy package. All in that celaphane packie
makes them completely sanitary, doesn't itsanitary? Well, that's cellophane rapping.
You know that Swift's premium franks areextra fresh, pullsome and flavorful no matter
where or when you buy them.Man, what was that? What'd you
say? Oh? Excuse me asI was saying. Besides being convenient and
(16:59):
sanitary, the new cellophane package assuresyou that Swift's premium franks reach you at
the very peak of their flavor goodness, juicy pork and tender beef blended together
in one delightful frank. Hi Land, what'll they think of, Nick?
Well, I'm sure glad you toldme about Swift's premium franks, Missus Jerry.
(17:19):
You know, my mother told meabout the wonderful product Swift make before
I was married, and her mothertold her about him years ago. So
we're really a Swift family from wayback, Oh, missus Andrews. What a
real pleasure it is to talk toyou, Jerry. And you know,
Missus Andrews, to make sure thatSwift's premium franks reach you as fresh as
(17:40):
fresh can be. Swift makes themclose to where they're Soul makes them in
the vicinity or in a nearby city. Well, mister Jerry, I'm certainly
glad you took all the trouble tocome down here and tell me you see.
Oh, no trouble at all.And I do hope I haven't taken
up too much of your time.But when I heard about the new Flavor
Safer pack, I rushed right overhere because I knew you'd be interested.
(18:03):
Well, I'm certainly glad you did. In fact, I think I'll go
down and get some Swiss premium Franksright now. Well, missus Andrews,
I'll drive you down all right,just as soon as I get my things.
Let's sea give my curry Keith.I'm sure mister Andrews will be wild
about those franks. Yes, Ihave, mister Andrews. Oh here,
(18:27):
Oh gosh, he's gone to theboiler under the wall. I can't explain
just now, but I'll just haveto drive down myself later, but thank
you so much for dropping by.It was the pleasure of missus Andrews.
Goodbye, goodbye, mister Sherry.Fred. What are you shouting about?
(18:52):
Fred? I don't know, Fred, don't be sarcastic, Archie. Yes'
is the water off up there?You're it's been off for ten minutes?
Red, the water's off. Nowwhat do you want me to do?
(19:18):
Pull me off? Andy? AndI still say? You want to let
a plumber do the job. Mary, let's knock go through that again.
Now that we have the water shutoff and it won't take two seconds.
(19:41):
Besides, I really need a bathafter crawling around down in that basement.
Well you just let him do it. Oh jeez, oh, hello Dougan,
what are you doing up here waitingfor? Where is he in the
bathroom? In the bathroom, aren'tyou you in there? You're dad?
Don't you want me? No?Not anymore? Now, unlocked this door
(20:03):
so I can get it that horses. Unlock it, Archie. You must
have this door is locked. Seehow could that happen? I am not
interested in how it happened. Justunlock it. Yes, then it's the
door. Knock the knob, Yes, fell off oh no, where is
(20:29):
that serious? Oh no, dear, not at all. I'll just have
to saw this door open now thatcall? Oh what a job he was
(21:00):
there? What are you stopping for, Archie? I just stopped to catch
my breath for a minute. AndI'll be patient. I'm almost through here.
Can you hurry? Jug and Igot stay Archie, I am hurrying
now. Just be quiet. Ididn't intend to spend Saturday night waiting outside
of bathroom. Jug you'll be quiettoo. Your father be through in a
minute, Archie. Yeah, justa few horse strokes. I ah,
(21:26):
yeah, that does it? Goodness, Archie. See if you can knock
that piece out, the piece ofwood around the doorknob that I just thought?
Oh okay, look up, goodboy, Hello everybody Hello. I'll
get your head out of that holeand open the door. Boy, I
(21:49):
bet not many houses have a holein the bathroom door. Archie. Just
get your head out of that hole. Okayo gee, mm that's funny,
Archie. Hurry up? She withthat, don't She's like I would if
I could. Yes, Arty,I know you, if you could,
(22:10):
Archie, what do you mean thishead is stuck in there? And how
got how can it be? Stuck. He got it in deneath. Yeah,
but a cheer won't come out.She went. Now, listen,
Archie, if it went in,it's got to come out. Archie holds
silima. Hey, what are youdoing that? That way way to get
him out? Dad? Quit it? Hey thow some that? Well,
(22:33):
I guess that would't work. Let'ssee. There must be some way to
do this. Maybe you should takethe hinges door. I can't. They're
inside. Well, Archie, can'tyou open that door? No? Mom,
it opens out and my shoulders arejammed against the wall. It must
be some way. There better besome way. I'll you'll look silly wearing
(22:53):
a door around my neck the restof my life, especially a bathroom door.
I knew it looks good. Doug, be quiet, play never mind,
Doug head and get Archie out.I think he's turning blue. Mary,
don't get hysterically. He is notturning blue, No, just a
little green. Doug, keep quiet, Mary. I am now just be
(23:15):
patient for a moment. Look,Archie, I have a plan. You
must have put your head in sideways. The hole is washed it that way?
Gee, maybe I did, Andtry to take it out that way.
One turn your head sideways. Okayit more, Okay, turn it
more. If he turns it anymore, he won't know if he's coming or
(23:37):
going. Keep crying, Archie,here, I'll help you. Ouch,
not so lord that ringing his knee, ex Yu the best spot of the
evening. Come on, Archie turns. Okay, I'm hey, I'm out
last, Archie. I think here, Doug ahead, please go see who
(24:00):
that is at lookout so I canget to that face and put that washer
in red to give up that eye. Now, Mary, don't be silly.
The worst is over. All Ihave to do is turn this posad
on and she wish's sake, ja, I thought you said the water was
turned off. Geez it was allthat. Oh here you are positive.
(24:22):
But the pipes did not that time? Yes, I know they didn't.
Did not? Oh, good greetdid not? You mean you started all
this fuck for no reason? Mary? I wait an everybody that he would
you please wire wire that's now listento me. All of you nonsense has
(25:03):
gone far enough. Do you hearfar enough? Yes? Yes, yes,
back. All I want to dois take a bath, that's all.
That's a nice quiet bath. Isthat asking too much? No,
mister Andrew, No, dear noday. All right, now, I
admit I don't know what the dickenshappened to those water pipes, but the
(25:23):
fact remains, if you kids haven'tbeen getting in my way all evening,
i'd have had my bath an hourago, Yes, mister Andrew, Yes,
dear yes, dear dad. Soif you kids are going to a
dance for Pete's sake, go aheadand I'll get my bath. Okay,
okay, come on, Sue.Well that's settled, and thanks goodness it
(25:47):
is. I don't want to hearanymore about a bath. Don't worry,
you won't. Oh me quite anight, quite a nice. I don't
suppose anything else can happen. Justfeel that water just right. I'm set
(26:07):
that you. Well, that oughtto be enough water. Fine. Now
just take this bathroom. Walk yeahand step in, little one. Oh
oh oh god, ah here weare are fine. Fine, that's what
(26:40):
the doctor order. Now I neededOh fine, Mary, oh Mary,
bring me a piece of soft please, now the rison aren't you must use
the last of it? Nearly allI want pizzas of forget my Oh how
(27:15):
these things happened to me? Yes, it never rains, but it pours
(27:37):
at the Andrews House. We'll seehow the storm ended in just a moment.
Meanwhile, Tender Beef to Seaport knownfrom the West Coast to New York.
Swiftspremium Franks, Swift Spremium Franks.Friends, you really know what you're
getting when you ask for Swift Premiumfranks, made right here in your own
(28:00):
vicinity or in a nearby city,so you know they're fresh cellophane raft,
so you know they're sanitary, madeby Swift, so you know their top
quality. So ask for them today. Swift's Premium Franks and the new handy
one pound cellophane packages. And whydo write your dealers? Be sure to
ask for Swift's Brookfield Sausage. Wonderfulfor breakfast, ideal for a quick,
(28:23):
easy to fix dinner. Swift's BrookfieldSausage is just right, yes, just
right, not too mild, nottoo spicy, but season two just right
perfection. Ask for Swift's Brookfield Sausage, the sausage with a just right seasoning.
And don't forget that your dealer hasa tempting variety of Swift's Premium table
(28:44):
ready meats. Swift's Premium Salami isbeing featured this month, and you'll find
it perfect for hot weather suppers,snacks, lunches, and picnics. And
now back to the end, andmister and missus Andrews have just gotten to
sleep. Oh no, that yougeez? Did I wake you? Yes?
(29:22):
Rtieu certainly did see. I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd be asleep.
Well we're not. Now do youhave a nice time at the dance
here? Well sort of? Mom, Veronica and I won the dinner Bug
contest. Oh that's nice, butyou'd think that dance committee would spend some
money on prizes. Bye. What'dyou get? Well, Veronica got some
(29:44):
nice perfume, but all I gotwith some plain old bath soap. What.
Oh no, you've been listening toanother chapter of the Adventures of Archie
Andrews, written by Carl Zampell andbased on the copyrighted feature appearing in Archie
(30:08):
Comics Magazine. Archie is played byBob Hastings, jug Head by Harlan Stone.
Mom and Dad Andrews are played byAlice Yureman and Arthur Q. Bryan.
Veronica and Betty by Gloria Mann andRosemary Rice. This program was produced
and directed by Kenneth McGregor. Listenagain next Saturday, when Swift and Company,
makers of Swifts Premium Franks, bringyou more of the merry adventures of
(30:30):
Archie Andrews. This is Bob Sherry, wishing you a very pleasant weekend along
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