March 12, 2025 • 19 mins
Mission: Invincible Marriage by Jason Redman, the former Navy SEAL and New York Times bestselling author of The Trident, and his wife, Erica (with a foreword by Gary Sinise) is a battle-tested guide to an enduring marriage that draws on the lessons of elite warriors to build a winning relationship, no matter the challenges and traumas that life sends your way. < The divorce rate among Navy SEALs is over 90 percent, and the rate among severely wounded warriors is even higher. Erica and Jason Redman knew their marriage faced an uphill climb, because Jason is both. In 2007, Jason's patrol was ambushed by a machine gunners' nest in Iraq. Thirty-seven surgeries, 1,200 stitches, and a grueling years-long rehab would follow. Despite all that-plus the daily demands of raising three children and running a successful business together-Jason and Erica's marriage has remained invincible. Every day, you make choices that either build up your relationship or leave it exposed and vulnerable to attack. The highest-performing warrior teams pay attention to developing muscle-memory habits, and your marriage can benefit from the same focus. In Mission: Invincible Marriage, Jason and Erica share the tools they use to lay the foundational beliefs and communication skills a marriage needs to last for life. Each chapter helps readers develop a key tenet of successful relationship-building.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You guys, if you only knew how your book is
going to change people's lives out here beyond your words,
and because we are going through a change in this
nation and world, and couples are going to be challenged
in ways that just have never been done so before,
maybe back in the nineteen forties, but this book is
is such a valuable piece of what we need right now.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Eric, I love that. I agree one thousand percent.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
I mean, it's one of the things that we.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
We just felt led to write this book.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
So many people asked us, how have you guys navigated
through what you've been through, you know, special operations, career
and injuries. And we run a business together, and we
have young kids that we've raised through COVID and all
these different challenges. Marriages are reaching a fifty percent divorce
level in this country, and we just felt led to
share this book something different that doesn't come, you know,
(00:54):
from PhDs. Instead it comes from the school of hard knos.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
I agree. We we really, you know, hoping that this
book was written for military and first responders, but I
think its reach can be far beyond that. And you know,
if we can help somebody that's struggling or people can
like really take away applicable tools that they could apply
(01:19):
would would be huge.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Well, one of the things that a lot of people
don't realize in these times of change and in times
where we do love each other so dearly, the thing
is is that they say that these are the toughest
times to raise children, and yet we have all the
tools there, and it's like, okay, so why aren't we
activating them? And that's the one thing that I find
inside your book. You give us every reason to find
in activation.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Yeah, we wanted to give people actionable staffs and that
was what was so fun and so exciting about writing this.
I mean, obviously we looked at different we wanted to
back it up with solid knowledge, so we pulled from
the Gottman Institute in other areas. But at the end
of the day, I mean, it's all personal stories from
all us, the things that we went through, whether that
was in the military career, and we applied it to
(02:05):
a lot of principles that we used in special operations.
I do a lot of speaking for companies and teams
and things like that, so I use a lot of
those principles. What Eric and I didn't well, what we
realized is we used a lot of the same principles
in our marriage, and they're pretty simple. I mean, I
think at the end of the day, that's what people
(02:27):
are looking for. How do I find simple solutions to
you know, everybody wants, especially guys. I was joking with
some friends about this. If you can tell a guy, hey,
here's a formula or here's a tool to use to
fix something, guys are going to use it. That's just
kind of how we operate. So when I told some
friends about this, they were like, oh my god, I
need this book.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
So now let me ask you a personal question. More
people are open to talk about their challenges and changes
in their marriages as well as relationships. But do you
think that the one that is receiving their answers needs
to be a greater listener first before giving them, like, well,
this is what I would have done if it was
my marriage, blah blah blah. It's like that that seems
to be like a thing of the past where people
(03:08):
are giving their opinions about what they would have done.
Speaker 4 (03:13):
You know, I think it's huge. I mean exactly reading
reading the situation, you know where we often joke sometimes Jay,
you know, he's such an action driven person, and you know,
he wants to give advice or he wants to fix it.
And I do think that there really is a time
and place like he's learned. He's like, am I supposed
to listen right now? Or do you want me to
(03:34):
fix it? So really, you know, reading that situation and
knowing whether you're you're lending an ear or if that
person wants you to take action, and sometimes if you're
not sure or sometimes you know, sometimes you know, communicate it,
like you know, ask and be be direct about it.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Jason, how did you deal with the situation of being
a man that's been out there in the war zone,
but when you come back to a family circle, your
sites are on everything around you. How do you centralize
it to be on family only?
Speaker 2 (04:07):
You know?
Speaker 3 (04:08):
I think I was fortunate enough that I think I
was able to compartmentalize that. I think some guys can,
some guys can't. I think what I recognize was and
some of that was when we left on deployments, When
I left on training trips, Erica.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Was the leader of the household.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
And I think sometimes guys and gals who come back
in the military or law enforcement and fire. They want
to place themselves immediately in that leadership position. It's no
different than sometimes when an individual becomes a new boss
or manager or a leader of a company or a team.
They want to instantly place themselves into that position, and
sometimes that takes time. In the family, I recognized Erica
(04:52):
had built structure that kids were used to listening to her,
and I just wanted to come in and support her.
You know, we were a team working together. And if
I was to come in and be like, hey, now
Dad's home, so guess what everything I say is what matters,
that's just creating a level of disruption, especially when I'm
(05:12):
going to turn around and leave again in a couple
of weeks or a month or whatever it was.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
So we were a great team, and.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
I think when you have a team focus, you understand
your roles and responsibilities and always looking at the end state,
whether that's a mission or whether that's a marriage. The
end state is, hey, we want to have a strong
functional relationship, and we also want to have strong functional kids.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Erica, what about the space created, Because you've got to
be able to give Jason his space and you have
to have your own space as well that you know
space needs to be respected. How did you develop that?
And because I want listeners to understand that space is
so important to a relationship.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
So so two different things here, you know, I think,
you know, we also talk about supporting each other's dreams
and supporting each other. So you know there's things that
that you know, I cared about, you know, becoming an
av seal that like, that wasn't my that wasn't my goal,
that wasn't my journey. But I supported him and he
has supported me. And in giving space to do those things.
(06:16):
We also talk about giving space where during conflict, you know,
you have to be careful and there's a balance of
not giving too much space. But you know, sometimes you know,
Jason Hack has a tendency where he could you know,
he runs a little bit hot, I can get emotional.
Is figuring out when to give a little bit of
(06:40):
space and then coming back together. I mean, he can
you know, sometimes we can tell that right now is
not the time to try to fix fix something. It
needs a little bit of space. So I think you
got to be careful not to give too much, but space.
So space works and in definitely different avenues.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Jason.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
One of the things that I love the two of you.
Four is the fact that you dedicated the book to
your kids. That means that you're being open and honest
with everything about what you've done being a seal. Where
my father, who was in World War Two, did not
speak about it. He would look at me and say, so,
there are certain things we're not going to talk about,
and me being in the war, this is it. I'm
just so glad that you're so open with it.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Yeah, Er, I'm not sure why the World War two generation.
You know, I don't necessarily agree with that mindset. War
is a terrible thing, and I think talking about some
of that, I mean, you know, I didn't have.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
To tell every story.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
I frequently did speaking a lot of law enforcement and
fire conferences, and I mean a lot of you know,
our fire and law enforcement see a lot of trauma,
more so sometimes than even what I saw on the battlefield.
And I hear, you know, individuals from that community who
will say, oh, you know, I want to protect my spouse,
so I'm not going to tell them things that I saw.
(07:57):
I can appreciate that maybe some of those fine details
you don't need to share. But at the same time,
both from the battlefield and from trauma we see on
the streets to share that there is an unfortunate dark
side of life. Now, at what level do you start
to expose some of that to your kids? I think
they need to be a little bit older, but it's
(08:17):
okay to say, Hey, dad had a hard day. You
know I, you know I what does Daddy do for
a living? Well, there are bad people unfortunately in this world.
There are evil people in this world, and dad fought
those people, or Dad is trying to enforce laws to
take care of those people. Or hey, you know, sometimes
people's houses burned down and people get injured, and dad
or mom goes out to do those things. So there
(08:42):
is power and story. And I often have tried to
tell other wounded warriors like, hey, don't bottle it up.
It'll eat at you. That trauma will eat at you
like a cancer over time. I think your ability to
talk about those things over time gives you power over
it instead of it having power over you.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Please don't go anywhere. We've got more with Jason and
Erica Redman coming up next. Hey, thanks for coming back.
Let's get back into that conversation with Navy sealed Jason
Redmond and his wife Erica.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Erica.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
You know, everybody always talks about marriage being love love love, love, love,
love love, But what I love about the two of
you is the fact that friendship is still a major
part of what's.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Going on here.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
I mean absolutely, you know, I you know, the love
piece is you know, obviously important, but at the end
of the day, I mean, this needs to be your
best friend and when you approach it, you know, not
that I don't go out and have a girls night
out or you know, but I mean I literally feel like,
(09:48):
you know, it's my best friend, and usually we want
to spend the time together, so you don't have usually
that separation. So when this person, you know, I think,
we are constantly talking and communicating, and it's not because
I feel the need that like I need to tell
him where I'm going and I need to check in
and he needs to know. I mean, this is my
best friend that we're constantly communicating, so I don't feel
(10:10):
like it's it doesn't feel like a chore or you know,
an effort. When when that person is your most important teammate.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Jason, do you prefer a text or a phone call?
I have to hear her voice what about you.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Either or I mean, we definitely try and talk to
each other multiple times a day. I live on the road,
but you know, sometimes a text is what we have
the time for, you know. But at the end of
the day, it's just constant communication, Hey, this is what's
going on with me, what's going on with you? And
it's been that way throughout our marriage, whether it was
(10:46):
you know, military or now. I think I travel even
more now than I did in the military.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
I love the way that the book is broken down.
I mean, you've got a mission, training and under fire.
It really gives us the opportunity to see what's what
it's like watching TV. You get you get to see
the schedule, and then we decide where are we going
to where are we going to dive in? At first
and then because I found myself jumping all the way
through the book only because I'm just one of those
kinds of readers.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
And I love that, and that's really what we wanted.
I mean, this book is for anyone. A lot of
times guys are not gonna be ones who are ever
going to pick up a marriage book. I mean it's
I probably never would have I'll be honest. I never
picked up a marriage book until suddenly we decided to
write a marriage book.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
But we wanted to.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Write it where no matter where you're at in the journey,
if you are not, I've had some people that are like, well,
I'm not even married yet, and I'm like, well, then
this book's for you because it will tell you some
of that how critical it is to make sure your
values are aligned. I mean, if you're hoping someday to
be married, to find that most important teammate, understanding how
critical it is to make sure your values are aligned,
(11:52):
how it's based in friendship before you pull that that
trigger and say I do, which should be for life.
And then of course concentrating the communication dating, understanding that
as we grow, as the years go by, we're both changing.
You and your spouse are going to change. Your dreams
will change, your goals will change. You know, your health
(12:13):
will change. Understanding that that's why it's critical to continue
to train. And then of course, guess what, man, We're
always going to have conflict. There's always going to be challenges.
You're not always going to agree on everything. I mean,
now that we run our businesses together, I mean that
brings an additional level of conflict and challenges.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
So that's we thought it was fun.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
The way it was laid out, it's very you know,
reflects upon special operations. So that's why I think anyone
can read it and enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
And Erica, those business meetings are different conversation and a
different tone because my wife and I also own a business,
and when we have business talk, it is not, oh,
I love you so much, where's the dog? I mean,
it really is hardcore. And that's a separation between the
marriage as well as the business. But you still have
to remind yourself we're married.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Yes, absolutely, I mean I would say that, you know,
the majority of the time we we are on the
same same page, and we do run our business you
know together and that and that does work. But you know,
we've sat on boards where you know, we were going
to have a disagreement that night, and and so going
(13:22):
into it, I was like, well, just just to tell
you that I'm going to be voting against you tonight.
You know you're you're not going to change my mind,
But do we need to talk through this ahead of time?
And and he said no, He's like, I understand where
you're coming from. I respect it. I I don't agree.
You know, we disagreed at the end of the day,
but we also both respected, you know, each other's views,
(13:45):
which I think is you know, which is huge.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Those conversations before him. My wife and I talk about
that all the time. We always say, do not write
the story before it happens. We can prepare for the
what's going to happen inside this meeting today and we're
not going to agree, but do not write the story
before it happens. Do you ever face that wall?
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Yeah, and I think everybody does.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
You know, we make assumptions before you actually have all
the information, and oftentimes those assumptions are incorrect. That's why
I think communication is critical and the military the most
critical aspect of any mission is communication are so we
have layers of redundancy and our ability to communicate, even
(14:25):
what we call no comms plans, like, hey, if we
don't have communications because all our communications failed, then how
do we continue to proceed forward if necessary? And marriage
is no different. We need to have clear communication all
the time. It's one of the most important things you
can do. We have a chapter on communication, but I
(14:47):
don't think there's a single chapter in the book that
doesn't talk about communication, and and you know, sometimes we
don't agree, sometimes the timing doesn't line up, and I
can't tell you an arrow you can relate to this
running a business, this with your wife. There are times
where you know, I'm traveling all the time and I'll
get home and I'm exhausted and Erica hasn't had a
(15:08):
chance to talk to me, and it's eleven o'clock at
night and I'm crawling into bed and She's like, we
have this, we need this, we need this, and I'm like,
oh my god, I'm not in the mindset to talk
about business right now. And I'll do the same thing
to her, So, you know, respecting each other and trying
to find those boundaries in the time, but understanding that, hey,
communicating through this is the most critical thing.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
I'll sit there and I'll say, just give me three minutes,
just let me, let me focus in on where I
am right now and put myself in this position of
now and then we can have that conversation. But give
me a chance to breathe first.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Yeah, same with us. That is a common conversation.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
We have a lot, you know, we're well, we'll quickly
ship pivot gears. I mean, we're running multiple businesses. Now
I'm involved in some other businesses that I've invested in,
So yeah, we're It's kind of funny how we'll shift
from one thing to the next and only a minute.
It's like, oh my god, my brain has got to
catch up to this, and no wonder.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
We feel like that life is moving too quickly. So Eric,
I've got a question for you. Here's the thing that
I really want for this book. I want the older
generation to get their hands in this book as well,
because when I talk with people who've been married forty
fifty years, I ask a lot of questions about how
they do it, and they don't seem happy. They need
a book like this to say there is happiness in
your marriage. Just figure it out and you're going to
(16:28):
find answers out. This book was written for every generation,
wasn't it absolutely.
Speaker 4 (16:34):
I mean, you know, like Jay talked about, I do
think for the newer couple, you know, this is huge
for maybe somebody that's struggling. But I agree with you.
I feel like somebody that's just kind of I guess
we call it almost living more as roommates or just
you know, kind of just going through the motions. You know,
(16:55):
nothing in this book is like I don't think nothing
is groundbreaking. I think it all is easy to digest.
I think it makes sense. But I'm really hoping that
you know, like you talked about the people that not
really happy, could they read this and could they pick
up a couple tools, Could they pick up a couple
tips that they could apply to their own relationship that
(17:18):
really could make a difference, or say, you know, remember
when we used to, you know, go skiing or hiking together.
You know, we should do these. We should come up
with some new traditions, some new some new things, or
try something new together. So I do I think that
this book really is for everybody, and that would that
(17:39):
would be amazing and I can't wait to see some
of the impact from it.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
So, Jason, where can people go to find out more
about what you are doing? Because I mean, you are
dedicated to your community all the way to the soul, sir.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Yeah, I mean the main platform, Jason Redmond dot com
covers just about everything I'm doing. Our new website should
go up any day now. Pretty excited about that because
there is a lot we are doing, I mean, from
you know, we've gotten involved in the real estate community,
so we've got short term rentals. We've got a commercial
building that we launched. I am involved in a I
(18:12):
am involved in a whiskey seltzer company called Patriot Heart Seltzer,
which is all about honoring the sacrifice of our patriots
but also a very delicious beverage.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
And then and then I'm involved in a new technology
company that is really really amazing. We are revolutionizing the
way we're going to manage veteran disability and benefits. We
are actually with high level talks in the government. As
a matter of fact, members of my team, the founder
are meeting with some of the senior leaders of government
right now today as we speak. I couldn't be there
(18:44):
because obviously we got our book launch, but a lot
of great things. So Jason Redmond dot com you can
find those things, and through there you can find Erica
and I for really wanting to be out there to
help people. I mean, that is one of my goals.
How do I coach people to be the best version
of themselves. Erica is a part of that with me.
She is my most important teammate, which is why we
(19:05):
wrote this book.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
You Guys have got to come back to this
You guys, if you only knew how your book is
going to change people's lives out here beyond your words,
and because we are going through a change in this
nation and world, and couples are going to be challenged
in ways that just have never been done so before,
maybe back in the nineteen forties, but this book is
is such a valuable piece of what we need right now.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Eric, I love that. I agree one thousand percent.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
I mean, it's one of the things that we.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
We just felt led to write this book.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
So many people asked us, how have you guys navigated
through what you've been through, you know, special operations, career
and injuries. And we run a business together, and we
have young kids that we've raised through COVID and all
these different challenges. Marriages are reaching a fifty percent divorce
level in this country, and we just felt led to
share this book something different that doesn't come, you know,
(00:54):
from PhDs. Instead it comes from the school of hard knos.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
I agree. We we really, you know, hoping that this
book was written for military and first responders, but I
think its reach can be far beyond that. And you know,
if we can help somebody that's struggling or people can
like really take away applicable tools that they could apply
(01:19):
would would be huge.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Well, one of the things that a lot of people
don't realize in these times of change and in times
where we do love each other so dearly, the thing
is is that they say that these are the toughest
times to raise children, and yet we have all the
tools there, and it's like, okay, so why aren't we
activating them? And that's the one thing that I find
inside your book. You give us every reason to find
in activation.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Yeah, we wanted to give people actionable staffs and that
was what was so fun and so exciting about writing this.
I mean, obviously we looked at different we wanted to
back it up with solid knowledge, so we pulled from
the Gottman Institute in other areas. But at the end
of the day, I mean, it's all personal stories from
all us, the things that we went through, whether that
was in the military career, and we applied it to
(02:05):
a lot of principles that we used in special operations.
I do a lot of speaking for companies and teams
and things like that, so I use a lot of
those principles. What Eric and I didn't well, what we
realized is we used a lot of the same principles
in our marriage, and they're pretty simple. I mean, I
think at the end of the day, that's what people
(02:27):
are looking for. How do I find simple solutions to
you know, everybody wants, especially guys. I was joking with
some friends about this. If you can tell a guy, hey,
here's a formula or here's a tool to use to
fix something, guys are going to use it. That's just
kind of how we operate. So when I told some
friends about this, they were like, oh my god, I
need this book.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
So now let me ask you a personal question. More
people are open to talk about their challenges and changes
in their marriages as well as relationships. But do you
think that the one that is receiving their answers needs
to be a greater listener first before giving them, like, well,
this is what I would have done if it was
my marriage, blah blah blah. It's like that that seems
to be like a thing of the past where people
(03:08):
are giving their opinions about what they would have done.
Speaker 4 (03:13):
You know, I think it's huge. I mean exactly reading
reading the situation, you know where we often joke sometimes Jay,
you know, he's such an action driven person, and you know,
he wants to give advice or he wants to fix it.
And I do think that there really is a time
and place like he's learned. He's like, am I supposed
to listen right now? Or do you want me to
(03:34):
fix it? So really, you know, reading that situation and
knowing whether you're you're lending an ear or if that
person wants you to take action, and sometimes if you're
not sure or sometimes you know, sometimes you know, communicate it,
like you know, ask and be be direct about it.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Jason, how did you deal with the situation of being
a man that's been out there in the war zone,
but when you come back to a family circle, your
sites are on everything around you. How do you centralize
it to be on family only?
Speaker 2 (04:07):
You know?
Speaker 3 (04:08):
I think I was fortunate enough that I think I
was able to compartmentalize that. I think some guys can,
some guys can't. I think what I recognize was and
some of that was when we left on deployments, When
I left on training trips, Erica.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Was the leader of the household.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
And I think sometimes guys and gals who come back
in the military or law enforcement and fire. They want
to place themselves immediately in that leadership position. It's no
different than sometimes when an individual becomes a new boss
or manager or a leader of a company or a team.
They want to instantly place themselves into that position, and
sometimes that takes time. In the family, I recognized Erica
(04:52):
had built structure that kids were used to listening to her,
and I just wanted to come in and support her.
You know, we were a team working together. And if
I was to come in and be like, hey, now
Dad's home, so guess what everything I say is what matters,
that's just creating a level of disruption, especially when I'm
(05:12):
going to turn around and leave again in a couple
of weeks or a month or whatever it was.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
So we were a great team, and.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
I think when you have a team focus, you understand
your roles and responsibilities and always looking at the end state,
whether that's a mission or whether that's a marriage. The
end state is, hey, we want to have a strong
functional relationship, and we also want to have strong functional kids.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Erica, what about the space created, Because you've got to
be able to give Jason his space and you have
to have your own space as well that you know
space needs to be respected. How did you develop that?
And because I want listeners to understand that space is
so important to a relationship.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
So so two different things here, you know, I think,
you know, we also talk about supporting each other's dreams
and supporting each other. So you know there's things that
that you know, I cared about, you know, becoming an
av seal that like, that wasn't my that wasn't my goal,
that wasn't my journey. But I supported him and he
has supported me. And in giving space to do those things.
(06:16):
We also talk about giving space where during conflict, you know,
you have to be careful and there's a balance of
not giving too much space. But you know, sometimes you know,
Jason Hack has a tendency where he could you know,
he runs a little bit hot, I can get emotional.
Is figuring out when to give a little bit of
(06:40):
space and then coming back together. I mean, he can
you know, sometimes we can tell that right now is
not the time to try to fix fix something. It
needs a little bit of space. So I think you
got to be careful not to give too much, but space.
So space works and in definitely different avenues.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Jason.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
One of the things that I love the two of you.
Four is the fact that you dedicated the book to
your kids. That means that you're being open and honest
with everything about what you've done being a seal. Where
my father, who was in World War Two, did not
speak about it. He would look at me and say, so,
there are certain things we're not going to talk about,
and me being in the war, this is it. I'm
just so glad that you're so open with it.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Yeah, Er, I'm not sure why the World War two generation.
You know, I don't necessarily agree with that mindset. War
is a terrible thing, and I think talking about some
of that, I mean, you know, I didn't have.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
To tell every story.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
I frequently did speaking a lot of law enforcement and
fire conferences, and I mean a lot of you know,
our fire and law enforcement see a lot of trauma,
more so sometimes than even what I saw on the battlefield.
And I hear, you know, individuals from that community who
will say, oh, you know, I want to protect my spouse,
so I'm not going to tell them things that I saw.
(07:57):
I can appreciate that maybe some of those fine details
you don't need to share. But at the same time,
both from the battlefield and from trauma we see on
the streets to share that there is an unfortunate dark
side of life. Now, at what level do you start
to expose some of that to your kids? I think
they need to be a little bit older, but it's
(08:17):
okay to say, Hey, dad had a hard day. You
know I, you know I what does Daddy do for
a living? Well, there are bad people unfortunately in this world.
There are evil people in this world, and dad fought
those people, or Dad is trying to enforce laws to
take care of those people. Or hey, you know, sometimes
people's houses burned down and people get injured, and dad
or mom goes out to do those things. So there
(08:42):
is power and story. And I often have tried to
tell other wounded warriors like, hey, don't bottle it up.
It'll eat at you. That trauma will eat at you
like a cancer over time. I think your ability to
talk about those things over time gives you power over
it instead of it having power over you.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Please don't go anywhere. We've got more with Jason and
Erica Redman coming up next. Hey, thanks for coming back.
Let's get back into that conversation with Navy sealed Jason
Redmond and his wife Erica.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Erica.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
You know, everybody always talks about marriage being love love love, love, love,
love love, But what I love about the two of
you is the fact that friendship is still a major
part of what's.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Going on here.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
I mean absolutely, you know, I you know, the love
piece is you know, obviously important, but at the end
of the day, I mean, this needs to be your
best friend and when you approach it, you know, not
that I don't go out and have a girls night
out or you know, but I mean I literally feel like,
(09:48):
you know, it's my best friend, and usually we want
to spend the time together, so you don't have usually
that separation. So when this person, you know, I think,
we are constantly talking and communicating, and it's not because
I feel the need that like I need to tell
him where I'm going and I need to check in
and he needs to know. I mean, this is my
best friend that we're constantly communicating, so I don't feel
(10:10):
like it's it doesn't feel like a chore or you know,
an effort. When when that person is your most important teammate.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Jason, do you prefer a text or a phone call?
I have to hear her voice what about you.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Either or I mean, we definitely try and talk to
each other multiple times a day. I live on the road,
but you know, sometimes a text is what we have
the time for, you know. But at the end of
the day, it's just constant communication, Hey, this is what's
going on with me, what's going on with you? And
it's been that way throughout our marriage, whether it was
(10:46):
you know, military or now. I think I travel even
more now than I did in the military.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
I love the way that the book is broken down.
I mean, you've got a mission, training and under fire.
It really gives us the opportunity to see what's what
it's like watching TV. You get you get to see
the schedule, and then we decide where are we going
to where are we going to dive in? At first
and then because I found myself jumping all the way
through the book only because I'm just one of those
kinds of readers.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
And I love that, and that's really what we wanted.
I mean, this book is for anyone. A lot of
times guys are not gonna be ones who are ever
going to pick up a marriage book. I mean it's
I probably never would have I'll be honest. I never
picked up a marriage book until suddenly we decided to
write a marriage book.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
But we wanted to.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Write it where no matter where you're at in the journey,
if you are not, I've had some people that are like, well,
I'm not even married yet, and I'm like, well, then
this book's for you because it will tell you some
of that how critical it is to make sure your
values are aligned. I mean, if you're hoping someday to
be married, to find that most important teammate, understanding how
critical it is to make sure your values are aligned,
(11:52):
how it's based in friendship before you pull that that
trigger and say I do, which should be for life.
And then of course concentrating the communication dating, understanding that
as we grow, as the years go by, we're both changing.
You and your spouse are going to change. Your dreams
will change, your goals will change. You know, your health
(12:13):
will change. Understanding that that's why it's critical to continue
to train. And then of course, guess what, man, We're
always going to have conflict. There's always going to be challenges.
You're not always going to agree on everything. I mean,
now that we run our businesses together, I mean that
brings an additional level of conflict and challenges.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
So that's we thought it was fun.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
The way it was laid out, it's very you know,
reflects upon special operations. So that's why I think anyone
can read it and enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
And Erica, those business meetings are different conversation and a
different tone because my wife and I also own a business,
and when we have business talk, it is not, oh,
I love you so much, where's the dog? I mean,
it really is hardcore. And that's a separation between the
marriage as well as the business. But you still have
to remind yourself we're married.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Yes, absolutely, I mean I would say that, you know,
the majority of the time we we are on the
same same page, and we do run our business you
know together and that and that does work. But you know,
we've sat on boards where you know, we were going
to have a disagreement that night, and and so going
(13:22):
into it, I was like, well, just just to tell
you that I'm going to be voting against you tonight.
You know you're you're not going to change my mind,
But do we need to talk through this ahead of time?
And and he said no, He's like, I understand where
you're coming from. I respect it. I I don't agree.
You know, we disagreed at the end of the day,
but we also both respected, you know, each other's views,
(13:45):
which I think is you know, which is huge.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Those conversations before him. My wife and I talk about
that all the time. We always say, do not write
the story before it happens. We can prepare for the
what's going to happen inside this meeting today and we're
not going to agree, but do not write the story
before it happens. Do you ever face that wall?
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Yeah, and I think everybody does.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
You know, we make assumptions before you actually have all
the information, and oftentimes those assumptions are incorrect. That's why
I think communication is critical and the military the most
critical aspect of any mission is communication are so we
have layers of redundancy and our ability to communicate, even
(14:25):
what we call no comms plans, like, hey, if we
don't have communications because all our communications failed, then how
do we continue to proceed forward if necessary? And marriage
is no different. We need to have clear communication all
the time. It's one of the most important things you
can do. We have a chapter on communication, but I
(14:47):
don't think there's a single chapter in the book that
doesn't talk about communication, and and you know, sometimes we
don't agree, sometimes the timing doesn't line up, and I
can't tell you an arrow you can relate to this
running a business, this with your wife. There are times
where you know, I'm traveling all the time and I'll
get home and I'm exhausted and Erica hasn't had a
(15:08):
chance to talk to me, and it's eleven o'clock at
night and I'm crawling into bed and She's like, we
have this, we need this, we need this, and I'm like,
oh my god, I'm not in the mindset to talk
about business right now. And I'll do the same thing
to her, So, you know, respecting each other and trying
to find those boundaries in the time, but understanding that, hey,
communicating through this is the most critical thing.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
I'll sit there and I'll say, just give me three minutes,
just let me, let me focus in on where I
am right now and put myself in this position of
now and then we can have that conversation. But give
me a chance to breathe first.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Yeah, same with us. That is a common conversation.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
We have a lot, you know, we're well, we'll quickly
ship pivot gears. I mean, we're running multiple businesses. Now
I'm involved in some other businesses that I've invested in,
So yeah, we're It's kind of funny how we'll shift
from one thing to the next and only a minute.
It's like, oh my god, my brain has got to
catch up to this, and no wonder.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
We feel like that life is moving too quickly. So Eric,
I've got a question for you. Here's the thing that
I really want for this book. I want the older
generation to get their hands in this book as well,
because when I talk with people who've been married forty
fifty years, I ask a lot of questions about how
they do it, and they don't seem happy. They need
a book like this to say there is happiness in
your marriage. Just figure it out and you're going to
(16:28):
find answers out. This book was written for every generation,
wasn't it absolutely.
Speaker 4 (16:34):
I mean, you know, like Jay talked about, I do
think for the newer couple, you know, this is huge
for maybe somebody that's struggling. But I agree with you.
I feel like somebody that's just kind of I guess
we call it almost living more as roommates or just
you know, kind of just going through the motions. You know,
(16:55):
nothing in this book is like I don't think nothing
is groundbreaking. I think it all is easy to digest.
I think it makes sense. But I'm really hoping that
you know, like you talked about the people that not
really happy, could they read this and could they pick
up a couple tools, Could they pick up a couple
tips that they could apply to their own relationship that
(17:18):
really could make a difference, or say, you know, remember
when we used to, you know, go skiing or hiking together.
You know, we should do these. We should come up
with some new traditions, some new some new things, or
try something new together. So I do I think that
this book really is for everybody, and that would that
(17:39):
would be amazing and I can't wait to see some
of the impact from it.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
So, Jason, where can people go to find out more
about what you are doing? Because I mean, you are
dedicated to your community all the way to the soul, sir.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Yeah, I mean the main platform, Jason Redmond dot com
covers just about everything I'm doing. Our new website should
go up any day now. Pretty excited about that because
there is a lot we are doing, I mean, from
you know, we've gotten involved in the real estate community,
so we've got short term rentals. We've got a commercial
building that we launched. I am involved in a I
(18:12):
am involved in a whiskey seltzer company called Patriot Heart Seltzer,
which is all about honoring the sacrifice of our patriots
but also a very delicious beverage.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
And then and then I'm involved in a new technology
company that is really really amazing. We are revolutionizing the
way we're going to manage veteran disability and benefits. We
are actually with high level talks in the government. As
a matter of fact, members of my team, the founder
are meeting with some of the senior leaders of government
right now today as we speak. I couldn't be there
(18:44):
because obviously we got our book launch, but a lot
of great things. So Jason Redmond dot com you can
find those things, and through there you can find Erica
and I for really wanting to be out there to
help people. I mean, that is one of my goals.
How do I coach people to be the best version
of themselves. Erica is a part of that with me.
She is my most important teammate, which is why we
(19:05):
wrote this book.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
You Guys have got to come back to this
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