Nick Marshall was not exactly your average twenty-one-year-old from New Jersey. After serving three years in prison for armed robbery, he was still fairly young upon his release, but wondered what kind of life he could lead as an ex-con. As he soon came to find, life on parole had its limits, but he was fortunate enough to have a salaried job, a roof over his head, and a car. Yet something still tugged at him: his yearning to be an artist.
Aware of the immense time and effort it would take to fulfill such a dream, he gave up his safety net and took his place at the bottom of the totem pole in the hospitality industry. What Nick did not expect was for a series of jobs in bars and restaurants to catapult him into the exciting yet treacherous world of New York City nightlife. By connecting with all of the right movers, shakers, gatekeepers, and the like, he began to blaze a new trail. Before he knew it, he was a power player who had it all—or so he thought. He began to question if trips to Saint-Tropez, infinite freebies, and celebrity-like treatment were enough to let the dream that started it all take a backseat. Yet again, he found himself ready to make a major sacrifice.
Try Again: An Ex-Con’s Path from Prison to Prosperity is the inspirational story of one man’s climb back into society as the woes of post-prison life kept kicking him down. It is a recount of the lessons he learned—how being blinded by the limelight cost him everything he worked so hard for, as well as his mental health and stability. Try Again won’t just speak to the formerly incarcerated; it is for anyone looking to start anew when it feels utterly impossible.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/arroe-collins-like-it-s-live--4113802/support.
Aware of the immense time and effort it would take to fulfill such a dream, he gave up his safety net and took his place at the bottom of the totem pole in the hospitality industry. What Nick did not expect was for a series of jobs in bars and restaurants to catapult him into the exciting yet treacherous world of New York City nightlife. By connecting with all of the right movers, shakers, gatekeepers, and the like, he began to blaze a new trail. Before he knew it, he was a power player who had it all—or so he thought. He began to question if trips to Saint-Tropez, infinite freebies, and celebrity-like treatment were enough to let the dream that started it all take a backseat. Yet again, he found himself ready to make a major sacrifice.
Try Again: An Ex-Con’s Path from Prison to Prosperity is the inspirational story of one man’s climb back into society as the woes of post-prison life kept kicking him down. It is a recount of the lessons he learned—how being blinded by the limelight cost him everything he worked so hard for, as well as his mental health and stability. Try Again won’t just speak to the formerly incarcerated; it is for anyone looking to start anew when it feels utterly impossible.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/arroe-collins-like-it-s-live--4113802/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, Hi sus Nick. Yes, Hi Nick, This is aerocollins Man.
How are you doing today?
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Hey Ara? How are you?
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Absolutely?
Speaker 4 (00:06):
Fan?
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Well, man, I'm excited to talk with you because, I
mean you You've got something here that people need to
get their hands on. And but it came from you first.
So what was it like to hold it before you
relinquished it?
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Oh, it's an interesting thing. Well, let's just say I've
been holding in my whole youth.
Speaker 5 (00:25):
And ever since my late youth around like when.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Most people graduated college, I was, you know, focusing on
dropping it.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
Yeah, if that makes sense. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
The name of the book is Try Again and ex
CON's path from prison to prosperity. You believe in second, third,
and fourth chances, and you're opening the door for other
people to, you know, jump on that path.
Speaker 6 (00:47):
Yes, yes, I holy do.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
I think that mistakes are just part of humanity. I
think I can't.
Speaker 5 (00:56):
Say what I did was a mistake because I.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
Did it willingly.
Speaker 5 (01:00):
I had an ego that was driving.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Those decisions at the time. But I was also a
dumb kid, and I think that a lot of people
who make mistakes as a youth or even into adulthood.
You know, we deserve an opportunity to have a second
chance and turn things around.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
And you know, this.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Book is really about what that past twenty six years
of my life have been like, struggling to get rid
of that stigma and to really prosper in society as
a hard working, honest man of my word throughout that time.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
To regain the confidence of those around you. What was
that journey like because so many people become introverts in
that moment of change.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
Wow, that's a really good question.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Well, first off, let me say that my mother and
father have been my biggest supporters.
Speaker 6 (01:56):
They you know, they were the.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Two people who visited me every weekend or every other weekend.
They helped me get my commissary to where I could
order food aside from the scraps they feed you for
your three mails a day. But I will angle it
to this my brother. My brother was so embarrassed of.
Speaker 5 (02:15):
Me and what I'd done to him and the family.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
That that relationship I'm still working on with him six
years later.
Speaker 6 (02:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Yeah, And it's just one of those things where you know,
it's like when you look at yourself in the mirror
and you see your past, but you've guys, you know,
put your focus on the future. The fact that you
put this in a book is it just shows how
how big your heart is, because it's like, look, I've
been to hell. I don't want you to go to hell.
So let's let's find a path and let's walk on
the right direction.
Speaker 6 (02:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
And I also I pointed out like this in this book.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
I was just so deeply honest about the struggles not
only of the system and bureaucracy that are meant to
hold you down and put you back into prison, not
only the difficulties in obtaining work when you have a
record of any kind, but really.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
My own problems, my own depression.
Speaker 5 (03:08):
Around not being able to find work.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
My addictions, you know, substance abuse, my you know, just
all of the things that can affect you on a
daily basis, and people who don't have records deal with that.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
So I felt, look, if I'm going to tell this story,
I'm going to tell.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
It as honestly as humanly possible and let people know, Look,
we're all struggling in different manners.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
The key to it is to.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Continue on get out of bed each day, no matter
how hard that may be. Just that in and of
itself and be positive and believe me, I wasn't.
Speaker 6 (03:47):
Positive all the time. Yeah, I went through a.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Lot of negativity and hopefully, like through the grace of God,
you know, my family and hard work, I came out
on the other side. And how I can actually say
and therapy, I can actually say that the grass is
much greener.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
Now.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Did you have to redefine that word positive? Because when
when you've walked that negative path for so long, it's
so simple to fall back into it. And it's like, okay,
they always say take baby steps, take a smaller step,
smaller step, But how did you deal with, you know,
kind of re recognizing what positive is.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
That's another great question.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
I'm still working on that.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
I still I still slip, right, I still.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Find myself slighted in some way and going right back
to the anger and the frustrations.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
And then I laugh at myself now and I that's like,
you have to be thankful, you have to.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Understand, like always remember where you came from. And I
think perspective is such an important thing.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
And you look at when I look at the where I.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Was, and I look at where I am now, and
I look at all the time in between each and
every day day was better than those two years, six
months and twenty days of my life.
Speaker 6 (05:06):
Every single day, no.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Matter how hard my parole officer came.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Down on me, I stole a roof over my head,
and I could eat what I want, and I could
watch TV on a couch.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
I if I chose right, just those little things to.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Be thankful for in the face of all the things
that life throws you on a daily basis.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
You and I are both authors.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
We know what kind of commitment is required in order
to put words on a page and then go out
there and promote it and sell the book.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
What have you replaced with the book? In other words?
Speaker 1 (05:36):
And then, now that the book is finished and it's
out here for us, what have you put in the
position where you used to sit down to write the book?
Speaker 4 (05:43):
Well, funny enough, I used.
Speaker 5 (05:46):
I don't write every.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
Day, right, I never had. I think every day? Oh
notes every day.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Yes, I put myself in a position to understanding what
I may or may not write next. I'm also a screenwriter,
so I found that right now, I'm in a very
long writing break. I finished the book in thirty one days.
Whoa it was ninety three thousand words. It was three
(06:12):
months before my delivery day, and I did because I
didn't know it was writing, so I didn't know if
I even had a book.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
And my editor was like, oh my god, this isn't what.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
I asked for book, and I said, well, it's tough
for me to write like a self help book because
I need help, right. It to a memoir about struggle,
and that's not what they asked for.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
But when they read it, they were like, oh.
Speaker 5 (06:33):
My god, this is it.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
And then the next the three months after that was
just really quite honestly easy edits and working with my
editor and just taking my medicine. When she said, Nick,
we don't need to hear this story. We got it,
and I'm like, oh, okay, instead of no, you really
need to hear this story because this happened. And even
(06:56):
though it's in the context of the greater story, it's
about taking your medicine as a writer.
Speaker 5 (07:00):
Right and saying and you know this, like when your
editor says you got.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
To cut this, and you're like, you got to pick
and choose your battles. Yeah, And you know with that said, like,
I have not written a word of anything since I
completed the book back in or excuse me, the first
draft that I just explained back in January of last year.
So all this time I've been doing other things. I've
(07:26):
been focused on a film I'm making in the fundraising
aspect of that and casting, and really thinking about the
next book, the potential opportunities of what I can write
after this. I quite honestly, I are like one of
my biggest dreams right now.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
Is to become a travel writer.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Yeah, because I want to just travel the world things
I've never been able to do, and do it and
write about it and let people read through my eyes
what it's like to be someplace else.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Absolutely well, you know that's going to require connection in
the way of social media will be a part of that.
Plus you you know you're gonna have to host your
own podcast because people want to jump into it there
because people are everywhere and they want that content and
you being that travel artist.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
What a brilliant, brilliant path to take.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Yeah, it's It's one of many ideas I have on
the burner now. And it's funny you mentioned the podcast.
I'd never thought I would want to do a podcast,
But after all of this, some friends, one of which
actually has the podcast company approached me and we're in
talks to do one yes, and we reserved all the handles.
(08:34):
And I have a really what I think could be
a really impactful, interesting idea.
Speaker 5 (08:39):
And right now we're just.
Speaker 4 (08:41):
Putting the building blocks together to see the fruition.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (08:46):
Wow, And I would mention.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
What that is now, but I think you know, given
how in nation as stages are.
Speaker 5 (08:54):
I'd want to wait till it's all put together.
Speaker 6 (08:57):
Before I actually started promoting.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Well, that's that's very smart of you do that, because
so many times, because what will happen is people go, well,
what happened, what happened, what happened? And then and you're going, well, no,
I do it at my own pace. Oh, so you're
you're failing yourself. No, I'm not failing myself.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
So what happened? What happened? And so I'm glad you're
being open and honest with.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
It, because you've got to be able to put it
together yourself before we get it.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Yeah, And I think that's only fair to the consumer,
right and to the listener. I have an idea that
I think will resonate with all forms of the populace, right,
and you know, and be very relatable and do something
slightly different than some other people are doing. But again
to your point, until it's done, why would I go
(09:37):
out and start saying, Hey, this is my handle, look
at it. Yeah, I would rather just wait and again
this is you know, I think my second podcast interview right.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
Now, and I'm just getting used to being interviewed.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Oh man, you're gonna go, You're gonna go through the
sweats in the way of saying, am I using my
right voice?
Speaker 3 (09:58):
What am I doing?
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Man?
Speaker 1 (09:58):
I mean, what should have done? You know the name
and you know it's a process, isn't it there?
Speaker 6 (10:03):
It's there.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
I got off the first one and I sat a
good hour and a half walking around the city going
did I sound like this?
Speaker 5 (10:12):
Did I sound like?
Speaker 6 (10:13):
It?
Speaker 5 (10:13):
Was like too?
Speaker 4 (10:14):
And you realize you're like, man, just be yourself.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
That's it. That's it.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Just talk about you know, I like to think a
lot of people, especially when you're writing a memoir and
you're talking about such personal issues and people talk about
a potential podcast, You're essentially creating a quote unquote brand, right,
which is not something that I'm good at, per see,
Because I don't swim in that ocean.
Speaker 6 (10:37):
I swim in the ocean of you know, being alone and.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Writing and being in my head and talking to people
in real life, you know, like sitting at a bar,
you know, at a restaurant, a coffee shop, in and
out of yoga things of that nature.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
Friends.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
But you know, this is a whole new beast to me,
and quite honestly to your point, Yeah, it's interesting on
how your your mind messes with you. You know, before
and after I was just saying to someone that I
was on a call with Hey, I got to go.
Speaker 5 (11:09):
I gotta be on this podcast in another.
Speaker 4 (11:11):
Twenty minutes, and like, what do you mean. I was like,
I have to prep mentally, Yes, yes, their head.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
They actually openly said to me for what, Yeah, you know,
mentally like what I'm about to.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Say, don't know the question Nick, if you could see
my prep, because I mean, you have to you you've
got to be able to be in a conversation and
you've got to be able to Here's here's the bad
part about my prep. As I've got to be able
to read my handwriting. And it's like, oh my god,
what was I thinking when I was writing this down?
Speaker 6 (11:39):
You would be bold?
Speaker 2 (11:40):
I think I write like it's the most elegible handwriting,
and it's all in my mind and I can't even
read it, so I have to like decipher it and
like maybe I'll write like to like the like if
I was writing groom, for example, oh, grooming, the g
would be really big and then there'd be.
Speaker 5 (12:00):
Scribble and I'd be like, wait, what was that?
Speaker 6 (12:02):
What was I saying with? Oh it was groomy Okay,
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
It's it's been frustrating.
Speaker 5 (12:09):
It's also funny because like, if I.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Want to be thankful to someone for something and write
a heartfelt note, yeah, it takes me so long and
steady my hands and write it so someone can read it.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
There you go, yep, yep.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
So one of the things that you know, you you've
had to deal with over the past twenty six years
is looking over your shoulder. How are you dealing with
PTSD in your modern world back on the on the
on the right path.
Speaker 6 (12:36):
Wow, okay, I'll tell you.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
I'll tell you a quick example that really shocked me.
Speaker 6 (12:43):
I talked about this in the book briefly.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
My first girlfriend post prison.
Speaker 6 (12:47):
Very nice girl, uh, and she was.
Speaker 5 (12:51):
From a good family quote unquote, and.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
She was in college when I met her and we
were walking down the street in the East village and
it was late, it was probably.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
You know, one or two in the morning, and a
vagrant kind of went at us, and my reaction was
so swift I didn't hit end of it, just basically
wanted to show him this is not the person right
what you have.
Speaker 6 (13:20):
To do in prison trenches or fight. Yeah, and.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
Somage.
Speaker 6 (13:26):
She was like.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
Day of conversations between.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Us for her to realize that that was simply a
trauma response and it was about protecting.
Speaker 4 (13:36):
Her and myself yep, more so her.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
And I think to your point about the PTSD, that's
the hard part because you spend your literally spend every
day watching.
Speaker 5 (13:47):
Around you not to get stuck, not to get beat up.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Not to get jumped when you go get your commissary,
like there's always something.
Speaker 6 (13:56):
To worry about every day.
Speaker 5 (13:57):
And then when you step into the real world, regular people.
Speaker 4 (14:01):
Don't have those same words, right, They just go about
their business.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
You're all wally, not happy, go lucky or maybe you know, upset, stressed,
whatever those different moods vary it are.
Speaker 5 (14:12):
But they don't have that same thing.
Speaker 6 (14:14):
The only thing I.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Could relate it to And again I talk about this
in the beginning of my book because there are similarities.
Totally totally different, but similar is someone who's spent to.
Speaker 5 (14:22):
War and how you know, I know, like my.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Father can't watch fireworks because of viennam So And it's
a real thing. It's a trauma response to can you
hear something that ignites the memory.
Speaker 4 (14:37):
Of what you went through? And it is just debility
And yeah, I've had that a lot, a lot since
I've been out. It's gone away.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
It's gone away in respect I've controlled it, learned to
but it's taken its work, and it's something that you
have to realize, like if you were to react in
the way you would imprison and do that in society,
you're opening yourself up, even if it's in self defense. Yep,
to another court case, it's what that trauma would do
(15:10):
to you.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Where can people go to find out more about you
and your journey? Because I want people to really hear
your story.
Speaker 4 (15:17):
Thank you.
Speaker 5 (15:17):
So right now the book we're in pre sales.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
The pubdate got pushed back two weeks so now it
is officially March twenty fifth. It's available at Amazon. It's
available Simon and Schuster it's available, and McNally Jackson here
in New York, and those are the three that I
know about thus far, and hopefully it'll be available and
a lot more. But I think Amazon kind of cures
(15:43):
all that, being that most of.
Speaker 5 (15:46):
Us in America now use Amazon.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
That's correct.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
So yeah, it's super exciting, and you know, I can't
wait to.
Speaker 4 (15:54):
Get people's reactions.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Upon reading it and have interviews with people like yourself who.
Speaker 5 (16:00):
Had the ability to read the book to really dive in.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
But this stuff right now, even the questions your asking
is just great because they all pertain to this book
and the journey and what's about to come.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
Right man, you got to come back to this show
anytime in the future.
Speaker 6 (16:15):
Nick.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
The door is always going to be open for you.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
I really appreciate that this has been so you know,
really cool to me, and thank you for having me
really enjoyed it.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
Will you'd be brilliant today, okay, sir?
Speaker 4 (16:26):
Thank you you as well.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
Thank you
Hello, Hi sus Nick. Yes, Hi Nick, This is aerocollins Man.
How are you doing today?
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Hey Ara? How are you?
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Absolutely?
Speaker 4 (00:06):
Fan?
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Well, man, I'm excited to talk with you because, I
mean you You've got something here that people need to
get their hands on. And but it came from you first.
So what was it like to hold it before you
relinquished it?
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Oh, it's an interesting thing. Well, let's just say I've
been holding in my whole youth.
Speaker 5 (00:25):
And ever since my late youth around like when.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Most people graduated college, I was, you know, focusing on
dropping it.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
Yeah, if that makes sense. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
The name of the book is Try Again and ex
CON's path from prison to prosperity. You believe in second, third,
and fourth chances, and you're opening the door for other
people to, you know, jump on that path.
Speaker 6 (00:47):
Yes, yes, I holy do.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
I think that mistakes are just part of humanity. I
think I can't.
Speaker 5 (00:56):
Say what I did was a mistake because I.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
Did it willingly.
Speaker 5 (01:00):
I had an ego that was driving.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Those decisions at the time. But I was also a
dumb kid, and I think that a lot of people
who make mistakes as a youth or even into adulthood.
You know, we deserve an opportunity to have a second
chance and turn things around.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
And you know, this.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Book is really about what that past twenty six years
of my life have been like, struggling to get rid
of that stigma and to really prosper in society as
a hard working, honest man of my word throughout that time.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
To regain the confidence of those around you. What was
that journey like because so many people become introverts in
that moment of change.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
Wow, that's a really good question.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Well, first off, let me say that my mother and
father have been my biggest supporters.
Speaker 6 (01:56):
They you know, they were the.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Two people who visited me every weekend or every other weekend.
They helped me get my commissary to where I could
order food aside from the scraps they feed you for
your three mails a day. But I will angle it
to this my brother. My brother was so embarrassed of.
Speaker 5 (02:15):
Me and what I'd done to him and the family.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
That that relationship I'm still working on with him six
years later.
Speaker 6 (02:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Yeah, And it's just one of those things where you know,
it's like when you look at yourself in the mirror
and you see your past, but you've guys, you know,
put your focus on the future. The fact that you
put this in a book is it just shows how
how big your heart is, because it's like, look, I've
been to hell. I don't want you to go to hell.
So let's let's find a path and let's walk on
the right direction.
Speaker 6 (02:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
And I also I pointed out like this in this book.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
I was just so deeply honest about the struggles not
only of the system and bureaucracy that are meant to
hold you down and put you back into prison, not
only the difficulties in obtaining work when you have a
record of any kind, but really.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
My own problems, my own depression.
Speaker 5 (03:08):
Around not being able to find work.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
My addictions, you know, substance abuse, my you know, just
all of the things that can affect you on a
daily basis, and people who don't have records deal with that.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
So I felt, look, if I'm going to tell this story,
I'm going to tell.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
It as honestly as humanly possible and let people know, Look,
we're all struggling in different manners.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
The key to it is to.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Continue on get out of bed each day, no matter
how hard that may be. Just that in and of
itself and be positive and believe me, I wasn't.
Speaker 6 (03:47):
Positive all the time. Yeah, I went through a.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Lot of negativity and hopefully, like through the grace of God,
you know, my family and hard work, I came out
on the other side. And how I can actually say
and therapy, I can actually say that the grass is
much greener.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
Now.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Did you have to redefine that word positive? Because when
when you've walked that negative path for so long, it's
so simple to fall back into it. And it's like, okay,
they always say take baby steps, take a smaller step,
smaller step, But how did you deal with, you know,
kind of re recognizing what positive is.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
That's another great question.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
I'm still working on that.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
I still I still slip, right, I still.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Find myself slighted in some way and going right back
to the anger and the frustrations.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
And then I laugh at myself now and I that's like,
you have to be thankful, you have to.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Understand, like always remember where you came from. And I
think perspective is such an important thing.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
And you look at when I look at the where I.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Was, and I look at where I am now, and
I look at all the time in between each and
every day day was better than those two years, six
months and twenty days of my life.
Speaker 6 (05:06):
Every single day, no.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Matter how hard my parole officer came.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Down on me, I stole a roof over my head,
and I could eat what I want, and I could
watch TV on a couch.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
I if I chose right, just those little things to.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Be thankful for in the face of all the things
that life throws you on a daily basis.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
You and I are both authors.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
We know what kind of commitment is required in order
to put words on a page and then go out
there and promote it and sell the book.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
What have you replaced with the book? In other words?
Speaker 1 (05:36):
And then, now that the book is finished and it's
out here for us, what have you put in the
position where you used to sit down to write the book?
Speaker 4 (05:43):
Well, funny enough, I used.
Speaker 5 (05:46):
I don't write every.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
Day, right, I never had. I think every day? Oh
notes every day.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Yes, I put myself in a position to understanding what
I may or may not write next. I'm also a screenwriter,
so I found that right now, I'm in a very
long writing break. I finished the book in thirty one days.
Whoa it was ninety three thousand words. It was three
(06:12):
months before my delivery day, and I did because I
didn't know it was writing, so I didn't know if
I even had a book.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
And my editor was like, oh my god, this isn't what.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
I asked for book, and I said, well, it's tough
for me to write like a self help book because
I need help, right. It to a memoir about struggle,
and that's not what they asked for.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
But when they read it, they were like, oh.
Speaker 5 (06:33):
My god, this is it.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
And then the next the three months after that was
just really quite honestly easy edits and working with my
editor and just taking my medicine. When she said, Nick,
we don't need to hear this story. We got it,
and I'm like, oh, okay, instead of no, you really
need to hear this story because this happened. And even
(06:56):
though it's in the context of the greater story, it's
about taking your medicine as a writer.
Speaker 5 (07:00):
Right and saying and you know this, like when your
editor says you got.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
To cut this, and you're like, you got to pick
and choose your battles. Yeah, And you know with that said, like,
I have not written a word of anything since I
completed the book back in or excuse me, the first
draft that I just explained back in January of last year.
So all this time I've been doing other things. I've
(07:26):
been focused on a film I'm making in the fundraising
aspect of that and casting, and really thinking about the
next book, the potential opportunities of what I can write
after this. I quite honestly, I are like one of
my biggest dreams right now.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
Is to become a travel writer.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Yeah, because I want to just travel the world things
I've never been able to do, and do it and
write about it and let people read through my eyes
what it's like to be someplace else.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Absolutely well, you know that's going to require connection in
the way of social media will be a part of that.
Plus you you know you're gonna have to host your
own podcast because people want to jump into it there
because people are everywhere and they want that content and
you being that travel artist.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
What a brilliant, brilliant path to take.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Yeah, it's It's one of many ideas I have on
the burner now. And it's funny you mentioned the podcast.
I'd never thought I would want to do a podcast,
But after all of this, some friends, one of which
actually has the podcast company approached me and we're in
talks to do one yes, and we reserved all the handles.
(08:34):
And I have a really what I think could be
a really impactful, interesting idea.
Speaker 5 (08:39):
And right now we're just.
Speaker 4 (08:41):
Putting the building blocks together to see the fruition.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (08:46):
Wow, And I would mention.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
What that is now, but I think you know, given
how in nation as stages are.
Speaker 5 (08:54):
I'd want to wait till it's all put together.
Speaker 6 (08:57):
Before I actually started promoting.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Well, that's that's very smart of you do that, because
so many times, because what will happen is people go, well,
what happened, what happened, what happened? And then and you're going, well, no,
I do it at my own pace. Oh, so you're
you're failing yourself. No, I'm not failing myself.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
So what happened? What happened? And so I'm glad you're
being open and honest with.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
It, because you've got to be able to put it
together yourself before we get it.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Yeah, And I think that's only fair to the consumer,
right and to the listener. I have an idea that
I think will resonate with all forms of the populace, right,
and you know, and be very relatable and do something
slightly different than some other people are doing. But again
to your point, until it's done, why would I go
(09:37):
out and start saying, Hey, this is my handle, look
at it. Yeah, I would rather just wait and again
this is you know, I think my second podcast interview right.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
Now, and I'm just getting used to being interviewed.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Oh man, you're gonna go, You're gonna go through the
sweats in the way of saying, am I using my
right voice?
Speaker 3 (09:58):
What am I doing?
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Man?
Speaker 1 (09:58):
I mean, what should have done? You know the name
and you know it's a process, isn't it there?
Speaker 6 (10:03):
It's there.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
I got off the first one and I sat a
good hour and a half walking around the city going
did I sound like this?
Speaker 5 (10:12):
Did I sound like?
Speaker 6 (10:13):
It?
Speaker 5 (10:13):
Was like too?
Speaker 4 (10:14):
And you realize you're like, man, just be yourself.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
That's it. That's it.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Just talk about you know, I like to think a
lot of people, especially when you're writing a memoir and
you're talking about such personal issues and people talk about
a potential podcast, You're essentially creating a quote unquote brand, right,
which is not something that I'm good at, per see,
Because I don't swim in that ocean.
Speaker 6 (10:37):
I swim in the ocean of you know, being alone and.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Writing and being in my head and talking to people
in real life, you know, like sitting at a bar,
you know, at a restaurant, a coffee shop, in and
out of yoga things of that nature.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
Friends.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
But you know, this is a whole new beast to me,
and quite honestly to your point, Yeah, it's interesting on
how your your mind messes with you. You know, before
and after I was just saying to someone that I
was on a call with Hey, I got to go.
Speaker 5 (11:09):
I gotta be on this podcast in another.
Speaker 4 (11:11):
Twenty minutes, and like, what do you mean. I was like,
I have to prep mentally, Yes, yes, their head.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
They actually openly said to me for what, Yeah, you know,
mentally like what I'm about to.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Say, don't know the question Nick, if you could see
my prep, because I mean, you have to you you've
got to be able to be in a conversation and
you've got to be able to Here's here's the bad
part about my prep. As I've got to be able
to read my handwriting. And it's like, oh my god,
what was I thinking when I was writing this down?
Speaker 6 (11:39):
You would be bold?
Speaker 2 (11:40):
I think I write like it's the most elegible handwriting,
and it's all in my mind and I can't even
read it, so I have to like decipher it and
like maybe I'll write like to like the like if
I was writing groom, for example, oh, grooming, the g
would be really big and then there'd be.
Speaker 5 (12:00):
Scribble and I'd be like, wait, what was that?
Speaker 6 (12:02):
What was I saying with? Oh it was groomy Okay,
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
It's it's been frustrating.
Speaker 5 (12:09):
It's also funny because like, if I.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Want to be thankful to someone for something and write
a heartfelt note, yeah, it takes me so long and
steady my hands and write it so someone can read it.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
There you go, yep, yep.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
So one of the things that you know, you you've
had to deal with over the past twenty six years
is looking over your shoulder. How are you dealing with
PTSD in your modern world back on the on the
on the right path.
Speaker 6 (12:36):
Wow, okay, I'll tell you.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
I'll tell you a quick example that really shocked me.
Speaker 6 (12:43):
I talked about this in the book briefly.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
My first girlfriend post prison.
Speaker 6 (12:47):
Very nice girl, uh, and she was.
Speaker 5 (12:51):
From a good family quote unquote, and.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
She was in college when I met her and we
were walking down the street in the East village and
it was late, it was probably.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
You know, one or two in the morning, and a
vagrant kind of went at us, and my reaction was
so swift I didn't hit end of it, just basically
wanted to show him this is not the person right
what you have.
Speaker 6 (13:20):
To do in prison trenches or fight. Yeah, and.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
Somage.
Speaker 6 (13:26):
She was like.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
Day of conversations between.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Us for her to realize that that was simply a
trauma response and it was about protecting.
Speaker 4 (13:36):
Her and myself yep, more so her.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
And I think to your point about the PTSD, that's
the hard part because you spend your literally spend every
day watching.
Speaker 5 (13:47):
Around you not to get stuck, not to get beat up.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Not to get jumped when you go get your commissary,
like there's always something.
Speaker 6 (13:56):
To worry about every day.
Speaker 5 (13:57):
And then when you step into the real world, regular people.
Speaker 4 (14:01):
Don't have those same words, right, They just go about
their business.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
You're all wally, not happy, go lucky or maybe you know, upset, stressed,
whatever those different moods vary it are.
Speaker 5 (14:12):
But they don't have that same thing.
Speaker 6 (14:14):
The only thing I.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Could relate it to And again I talk about this
in the beginning of my book because there are similarities.
Totally totally different, but similar is someone who's spent to.
Speaker 5 (14:22):
War and how you know, I know, like my.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Father can't watch fireworks because of viennam So And it's
a real thing. It's a trauma response to can you
hear something that ignites the memory.
Speaker 4 (14:37):
Of what you went through? And it is just debility
And yeah, I've had that a lot, a lot since
I've been out. It's gone away.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
It's gone away in respect I've controlled it, learned to
but it's taken its work, and it's something that you
have to realize, like if you were to react in
the way you would imprison and do that in society,
you're opening yourself up, even if it's in self defense. Yep,
to another court case, it's what that trauma would do
(15:10):
to you.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Where can people go to find out more about you
and your journey? Because I want people to really hear
your story.
Speaker 4 (15:17):
Thank you.
Speaker 5 (15:17):
So right now the book we're in pre sales.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
The pubdate got pushed back two weeks so now it
is officially March twenty fifth. It's available at Amazon. It's
available Simon and Schuster it's available, and McNally Jackson here
in New York, and those are the three that I
know about thus far, and hopefully it'll be available and
a lot more. But I think Amazon kind of cures
(15:43):
all that, being that most of.
Speaker 5 (15:46):
Us in America now use Amazon.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
That's correct.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
So yeah, it's super exciting, and you know, I can't
wait to.
Speaker 4 (15:54):
Get people's reactions.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Upon reading it and have interviews with people like yourself who.
Speaker 5 (16:00):
Had the ability to read the book to really dive in.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
But this stuff right now, even the questions your asking
is just great because they all pertain to this book
and the journey and what's about to come.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
Right man, you got to come back to this show
anytime in the future.
Speaker 6 (16:15):
Nick.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
The door is always going to be open for you.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
I really appreciate that this has been so you know,
really cool to me, and thank you for having me
really enjoyed it.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
Will you'd be brilliant today, okay, sir?
Speaker 4 (16:26):
Thank you you as well.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
Thank you
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