Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Having a conversation with Alex Bones tonight. They say, according
to the research that he's got twenty five million daily listeners.
How the hell did I get this conversation? I mean,
I couldn't even get Phil Donahue or even Clive Davis
to check in with me, even though I was signed
up to talk with him. All of a sudden, at
the last minute, it was like, you're gone. Now, we
need people bigger than you. So I don't understand how
(00:22):
this is even happening. And my guess is the dude
isn't going to show up. Hey, Alex, Hey, my god,
you have no idea what I just did. I did
a pre record where I said that Phil Donahue and
and Clive Davis were both scheduled to talk with me
(00:43):
and they failed to show up. And I said, with
you having twenty five million listeners every day, I said,
this guy's not going to show up.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
And then, god damn it, if you're not here.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Yeah, I'm not going anywhere. I sit right here in
the studio the whole time. I'm sitting there waiting for
this guy named Aron. So this guy Harrol's gonna interview me,
and I'm not gonna stand him up because that's just rude.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Well wait a second, you're all about being rude, but
not to people that want to talk to me.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
You're rude to everybody.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Don't lie to him, You're rude to this every person
in the world. I wonder, I wonder if Jimmy was
going to show up tonight, because you know what, what
what is he? He's like the intern that just wouldn't
go away.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Yeah, I'm an intern. I don't get paid anything, but
I work all the time. And thank you for saying that, Harrol.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Yeah, shut up, Jimmy, Go get me some coffee. That's
what Jimmy does, says. He gives me coffee and he
finds me videos.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
So no, no, no, no, you got to talk to me
about these videos because I'm trying to understand how it
is that you put this show together and you get
all this stuff. I mean, I'm a research whore. You
obviously are too.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
I like videos of broads, broads that talk about, you know,
dating and stuff, and then I like some new stuff.
But I like to talk about dating just because I
can't date because I've been married for seventy five years,
so I can't date. So I listened to whatever the
broads say about dating because I think it sounds fun,
(02:12):
but I don't play in it at all. Shimmy finds
me the videos. That's his job.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Shut up, dude, because the reason you even included that
you were going to go meet that girl on your
last podcast, you said your name was on that list,
and all of a sudden you suddenly thought you were
going to be a part of it.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Well, I say things like that, but I don't do
it because I'm chained to this, to the wife.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
I can't go anywhere.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
I just I lived my life through the stupid show
and through stupid videos.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
So now what is Jimmy's real connection here to me?
I think he's the star because he's the one that
sets up your stage, he sets up the control room.
He's the one that stood up, you know, that late
night person that would put the morning show together with
all the commercials, all the songs and everything like that.
People don't see that when with radio.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Well, how I got Jimmy was we were doing a
segment about birds. Oh gods, birds are government drones. Oh okay,
So I made Jimmy go outside because he showed up.
He was an intern I made him go outside and
get a bird and bring a bird in, and I
(03:23):
took the head off and and then showed Jimmy it
was a government drone.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
At like, if you did your damn research about me,
you would have known that. I talk about birds all
the time, and birds are very spiritual to me. And
it's like they are not spiritual drones.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
No, they're drones. They they what are you talking about?
They remember a long time ago there were birds everywhere.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Now there's only like a couple of birds. And then
you see him on the.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Wires.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
You know, when they go into wires, they're recharging arrow
were doing recharging.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
They're drones. They watch us all the time.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
No, carpenter bees are what the drones are when they
sit there and they hang out and then and then
to me, those are Russian drones and they're spying on
us at all times.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Oh my god, I never thought about that. Jimmy, go
get me a bee.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Now he's gotta go get me a bew Go.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Get a bee.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
See now you now, I gotta now, I gotta tear
bees hat off to find out if that.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
I feel so sorry for him because I've had those
interns that sacrifice their life, and all of a sudden,
you know it's like, oh God, am I being mean
to him? Do you ever get that guilt trip?
Speaker 2 (04:33):
No? Why it's radio.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Everybody's me and everybody in radio that you reach your
hand down and grab your balls and tug them. Give
your balls a tug if you want to be in
this industry. If you don't want to be in this industry,
then don't tug on your balls.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Well, what about women? What are you talking about here?
There's no women in radio? Who's the last? They don't exist.
They've they phased those out years ago. They think that. Now,
go get me I wonder head out for show you
that she's a government drone.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
So you're saying women are government drones? Now, they might be.
You don't know. I mean, when's the last time you
saw a really good woman? You haven't? No, how can
you step in that pile of crap? It's what I
do ero. I mean, I'll find videos and I'll show
you that that. Okay, women might not be drones, but
(05:31):
birds are and bees are. Now you've convinced me, yeah,
but I have bird feathers. I mean, you can't tell
me they're drones because these are authentic feathers.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Now, those are feathers from the fifties.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
Now those are now, those are feathers from twenty twenty five,
because you can't you.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Know they're they're fake. Wow.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
So, speaking of drones, did you see what the Chinese
are doing with the drones fighting. They've got an Olympics
going on right now that have drones that they're boxing,
they're kickboxing, they're doing all that stuff. How do you
feel about this drone stuff? I saw a video of
three drones racing today and one fell down and one
spun around in a circle, and the other one took off.
(06:15):
So it's gonna be a good fifteen to twenty thirty
forty years before they kill us all aix Alex. They
that's exactly how radio people act. They fall down, they
twist out, they do stuff like.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
That, right, So, but that you should have seen the robot.
It just spun in the circle and it was too stupid.
So the robots aren't smart enough yet. So once they
get smart enough, then I'll worry.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
I think they're creating radio station program directors, that's what
they're doing.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Well, everything's ay, I know, have you okay? Erro I
know I did a little research on you, and you
were in radio a long time, right.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Still am in radio. I'm a podcaster. I have never
made that disconnection, and I will fight your ass until
you to prove you wrong.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
You're getting radio four hundred years. Listen to a radio station.
I listened to radio all the time.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
What radio station named one WBT ninety five point one,
ninety six point one. And I'll even pop it over
there to the number one station and Charlotte which is
one oh four point seven. No you don't do why,
well shit, well shit, I will even go to ninety
five point seven. But I can't stand oldies like that
because I've lived that life already.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Oh yeah, you listen to oldies stations and.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Go I played that one. It was a current. You're right,
that's exactly remember the Beach Boys. I said, oh my god,
you are so right about that.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
And that's the thing I hate about being in radio
for forty six years because when they sit there and say, well,
you know, fat Bottom Girls is forty plus years old. Listen,
I played that song when it was a forty five,
and I spent ninety nine damn cents on that monkey.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
Yeah, and I said, I uttered the word new Queen
coming up next.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
First of all, with that voice, how the hell did
you even survive in radio? The program director did. Did
they have to go and get some psychiatric help. Yeah,
so that's what happens. I got fired.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
You know the last station I was on, the big
station in New York, I was fired. I last like
a year and a half and then I say something
stupid on the air. Then they fired me. But now
I just go on all these little radio stations and
they don't even listen. They just helped me on and
they go, ah something to fill airspace. So that's how
we're the number one syndicated radio show is small stations
(08:37):
just put us on on like a Saturday and they
don't even listen. Well see that's what I think. That
that Wolfmanjack success was me saying.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Oh baby, I'm gonna play on any radio station I
can get my hands on. Oh baby, this is this
is K ninety five point one with four listeners.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
Thank you for being here. As long as you're on
the station, I don't care if anybody listens. I don't
care if you listen SCROLLM just I'm on the station
so I can say I'm the number one syndicated radio
show in the world.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Please do not move. There's more with Alex Bones coming
up next. Hey, thanks for coming back to my conversation
with Alex's Bones. So how do you keep up to
date with content? Because I am consistently doing research, so
much so that my wife thinks I am just one
boring ass bitch.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
TikTok God, please very much.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
I'm on TikTok all the time, and I go to
TikTok News, and if it's not on TikTok.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
News, I could care less.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
So and if it's about Trump or anything like that,
Trump is the greatest, So I just I listen to that,
and then I go to something else, and then I
end up on the relationships, and I want to know
what the broads are doing.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Well, that's good that you're talking about relationships because everybody
that I work with, because I have a secondary job,
which is at a grocery store where I talk with
real people that have real lives. It's almost like the
Bob and Sherry show, real people, real life. And the
thing is is that when when you're face to face
with these people and they're talking about relationships, man, they're
screwed up and I got nothing to help them.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Don't you have some time? People? Just go shut up?
I just I came in here and buy milk. Leave
me alone, yep. I don't want to talk to you. Yep.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Oh my god. They will sit there and tell me,
don't give me your happy shit.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Don't do it.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
I'm not interested. Don't don't even try to be happy
with me.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Right now?
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Right if I go to Harris Teeter, you don't come
up to talk to me because I could care less.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Leave me alone, go away. So how do you.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Deal with liars, steelers, beggars and people like that? Because
I deal with that every single day. And you've got
to give that, you know that that plastic candy coat
of bathroom mirror smile.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
You go outside when they leave and you throw things
at them.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
Ah, just go outside and pick up rocks and things,
throw it at.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Them, and then maybe they won't bug you anymore.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
I don't think you can hand a real job like that.
And the reason why because we have people that are
stealing four to six hundred dollars in groceries every day.
I don't think you could handle going out there and
watching them walk away, and you can't do crap.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
I don't have that many pockets. Where do they put it?
Six hundred dollars worth of groceries? That's like milk and
a pack a gum, now, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
No? No, no, no, no no. It is like twenty
four packs or twenty four big old bottles of detergent
because they're going to the flea market to sell it.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Yeah, my pockets aren't that big, so I wouldn't know
how to steal that. But maybe you could teach me
one day how I can get that out of a
store without anybody notice.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Well, you know what you just told me. Your crotch
isn't that big either.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
I got a lot of room to put things down there,
so they But that guy's got a big package. Now
that's just detergent. So what is your vision? What are
you trying to do? Every time you put a performance together.
I try to get the voices out of my head.
The voice are in my head all the time. Yeah,
(12:09):
he always has weird voices in there, so yeah, he
gets it.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
He gets it out this way. Yeah, this just makes
me feel better to get it out. And if I
don't get it out every day, then I'm I'm afraid
I'm gonna turn into a serial killer. Well, so the.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Way to get it out, I'm a d fragger. I
write all the time, Alex. If you do your homework,
you'll find out that I am consistently writing stuff out
to get those voices. And you choose just to go
to the radio and and do your thing and.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Do my thing.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
So the thing is, I do know you write a lot,
and you do your journal every day. What happens when
you die? I mean, what's gonna happen to these to
these journals? Are we are we just gonna burn them?
Are we all gonna read them? What are we gonna do? Oh?
Speaker 2 (12:53):
You are you?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
You obviously broke into my house and read my damn
journals because I have covered that subject so many times.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
And here's the I'm going to do.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
I'm gonna haul a digger in here and I'm gonna
plant them back into the forest that I have been.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Writing with for thirty two years. No, I'm gonna have
an open casket garage sale.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
People come in, they can take a journal for twenty
five cents and they can go buy out and then
they can walk away.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
But see, but I've always believed that I'm talking to
the future reader. You know, you know I've always been Oh,
I'm I'm gonna touch tomorrow because my parents left me nothing.
Do you believe in that that everything you're saying today
is going to touch the future listener?
Speaker 2 (13:36):
I sure hope.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
So I think there's so much crap out there that
it just gets lost. But I hope one day, you know,
my kid will listen to go that that was my dad,
Alex and Jimmy. But I don't think nobody's ever gonna
hear it ever again. They listen to it once. Twenty
five million people listen to it once, and then they
don't listen to it every again.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
So you're saying they listen to one episode and get
the hell out of Dodge.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Yes, if they make it through the whole episode, congrat
your freaking elations.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
How do you How do you deal with that?
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Because I mean, that's like my rule of podcasting is
if I can get you to seven minutes, my God
in Heaven, that is glory. But I'll bet you I
can't get them up to number two minutes.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
No, I listen to your ship.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
I listened to it and it just goes on and
on and on, and your crapt just rolls into another
episode and I just get locked in the Arrow stratus
here for hours, and I lose track of days, and
I go, shit, it's Thursday.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
How did it become Thursday? I'm still listening to Arrow?
How many times have you vomited? Though?
Speaker 1 (14:41):
So? What?
Speaker 2 (14:42):
How many times? How many times have you vomited over
something I've said? Now? It was?
Speaker 3 (14:51):
It's really interesting, and I you sucked me in with
it because you have, like, I don't know, I have
one stupid podcast.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Okay, that's what I do, and you I'm fourteen, yeah,
seventeen seventy.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
What the hell? How do you do that? Alex? You've
been in the business forever.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
One thought per break, Savin Jane, Yes, one thought per break.
I can't talk to rock stars and talk to sports
heroes on the same podcast.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Seventeen Come on, that would make me insane. You're always
on a podcast. If you're not on a podcast, you're
writing about a podcast. Yep. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
But then I get sucked in and I listen for
hours and hours and hours, and before you know.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
It is Sunday. Think.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
All I do is I thank God every day because
The bathroom is less than seven feet from here. That's
all I have. That's all I care about. Can I
get in? Do I have enough time to go in
there and take a pee? Have you dragged the microphone
into the bathroom? I have portable equipment. I'm gonna tell
you that right, I'm bringing the mic in the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
That's like this Thursday. I'm with Iron Maiden at one
fifty six. I have to be reporting to Harris Teeter
at two o'clock. I already told him that I'm gonna
be late, and they go why And I said, I'm
gonna be talking to Iron Maiden, who wow?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
For four minutes. No freaking interviews. Okay, I gotta ask
you one thing.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
So you interview a lot of famous people, Okay, how
many times have they said after the interview, don't air that.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Oh I've had a lot of people, a lot of
rock stars cuss at me. I'm I'm gonna give you
the best one first. I'm not sure I can go
into the one that hurt me the most, but I
can go into the one that I think he touched
me the most. No, there's two of them. First of all,
I told Gene Simmons, I don't want to talk about kiss.
I want to talk about what you're doing with our
US soldiers. Well, fuck, why did you take you so long?
(16:59):
Why do you Let's talk about that, And then David
Coverdale gets on there. I said, David, how are you
doing today? What the fuck is an arrow? Just fucking
tell me what an arrow is? Why I live for
stuff like that, But during the COVID crisis, I can't
identify the band. They released a brand new album. It
(17:21):
actually it was an EP that was recorded at Apple
Apple Records, and I said, this has been my escape
during this time of change in the globe. And he goes,
I didn't record this fucking thing for you to have
a better life. This is all about the band and
we were taking chances here. If you do not even
think about bringing COVID into this conversation, he blasted.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Me, dude, wow. And it was a famous band, YEP,
fuck them.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
I still have the interview, dude, the uncut version, which
I can send to you, but I don't want to
identify it because I love the band.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
See.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
I bring that up because I had John Oates oh yeah,
oh yeah, and did an interview and then after the interview,
the publicist called us said, don't air that.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Why I can't say he we're in the same boat.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
We're in the same boat.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
I have it, and I'm gonna when he dies, I
think I'm gonna hear it.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
See that's the same thing with all my conversations with
Rick Flair. People keep saying, you recorded with Rick Flair
so many times. Why will you not release it? Because
I don't want to. Rick and I had many private
moments together.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
Right, So you're like me, as soon as he dies,
you're gonna air that, and as soon and then you'll
know when John Oates dies when you see a pop
up on my podcast, you'd be like.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Hu, shit, he's dead. Well, Alex, they just got back together.
Did you not see that? I know that's why it's
even more better. But I can't come back at me.
Oh god, I got such great dirt. I'm the other guy.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
I'm not even gonna say his name, but I got
sexual dirt on him.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Wow. I can't do it.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
So where do you grow the balls to do what
it is that you do? Because you seem to be
talking about you know, straight from you know, the subconscious.
You allow what is now to happen right now.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
Yeah, because I don't care. I don't get a crap.
Cancel me, cancel me if you want, I don't care.
What are you gonna do? You take me off here?
Speaker 2 (19:29):
You're not gonna do.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
That, so I can say whatever the hell I want,
because you know what, it's my show, my show now.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Yeah, but okay, okay, let's let let's talk about that,
because I totally agree with you on that. And I
think that there's a certain age group where we all
sit there and we all think that we're Robert d Rayford,
and it's one of those things where it's like, Okay,
I'm going to say what I'm going to say. If
you don't like it, I don't really freaking care. So
and the thing is is that now I have to
think about the listener. Does the listener care what I'm sharing?
(19:57):
If they don't understand what we're doing, well, they're gonna
check out? And what are the chances they're coming back?
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (20:04):
I don't care, no more. Every day, Oh they're everywhere.
So if we lose one, two more will pop up.
It's like a gopher, you get rid of wand and
three more pop up. So if I piss you off.
I'm done worrying about that. I worried about that when
(20:24):
I'm on the air, you know, not losing a listener. Now,
I could care less.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Okay, let's talk about Howard Stern when you say I
don't care, because that seems to be his attitude. And
you guys actually did a special on that. I think
it's a promotional stunt. What's your thing?
Speaker 3 (20:39):
I think it started off as not a promotional stunt,
but then it turned into it. So I think he's
gonna have an announcement in a few days of what's
gonna happen. But you know what, the last time I
talked about Howard Stern, I ended up in page six
of the New York Post. So I'm not talking about Howard.
Howard gave me shit for saying what I said back then.
(21:01):
So I'm not going on record about anything about Stern
anymore because he gave me enough crap last time.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
I did it well well, I mean, I mean heavily
inspired because he gives he gives us all balls in broadcasting.
But the thing is, though, is that you got to
pass the torch forward. But who do we give it to?
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Yeah, you don't I mean, give it to us, give
it to you and me, We'll take it. God get
it day. What what is your most ballsy thing. I'm
gonna be honest with you.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
I think one of the most ballsy things that I
do every single day I pray on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
No I don't do.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Shot the haill up. You need to buddy. Could you
not hear the words that you're saying.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Yeah, he prays all the time. I see him doing it,
but he's not gonna tell you. He does it because
he easy. It makes him sad. Shot up, Jenny.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Have you ever thought about firing him?
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Now?
Speaker 3 (21:58):
You can't fire in turns, he just keep coming back.
I try to fire him, and then he just keeps
coming back the next day. And what am I gonna do?
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Oh God, that's exactly.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
But we all have played that game, man, because when
we first got into the industry, my God in Heaven,
we gave everything to it, only to learn that, well,
hell we don't. If we don't go out there and
get a real job, we're gonna suffer.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Yeah, that's that's him. He wants his own show. He
wants his Jimmy show.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
So one day he's gonna have the Jimmy Show, but
not now, because I don't think Jimmy has enough time
to do that.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Well, what is he doing that? He's that he's so busy.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
And I've dropped working for him and I'm finding videos and.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Bees and birds and all that. So I don't have
no time right now, but one day I will. Wow, wow, wow.
Obviously he's spending ten minutes in nature. So so what
the hell's is guy on?
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Because you know, what we do as performers is that
we dedicate our souls to it. And look, look, we're
doing a conversation at seven twenty. I've been in the
studio since seven o'clock this morning. Why would I do
that to talk with you?
Speaker 2 (23:04):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
I don't not on your brain because I'd listen to
the three hours of Arrow and I'm in a whole
different world.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
I'm like, I don't even know my name anymore. I
don't even know my name. I sit there and die.
I don't even say it anymore. I'm so sick of it, dude,
I am so proud that you took the time to
even talk with me. Twenty five million listeners. I think
I may have, you know, maybe one hundred a day,
so the fact that you did would feel Donahue and
(23:35):
and Clive Davis couldn't do. I'm just shocked, and I
will call this one of the greatest moments of my life.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
No.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
Twenty five million daily listeners enough a radio show in
the world, The Alex Bones show Man.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Come back to the show anytime in the future.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
You know, the door is always going to be open
for you to close it.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Sometimes shut up, I decide who closes the door, all right, buddy,