September 23, 2025 • 32 mins
As a former NFL wife, author of Sidelined No More and Rise Up, Lady Bellator, and host of The Unsidelined Life podcast, I help women navigate visibility, identity, and purpose when life feels unscripted. My own journey includes raising a blended family of 15 children, walking away from a cult, and empowering others to rediscover faith and resilience despite the spotlight. I think your audience will connect with stories of overcoming setbacks and finding purpose when life’s "studio crashes" disrupt the script.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Head on. Good afternoon, everybody. How you doing, I'm good?
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Is this errow?
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Yes? How are you doing today? Ah?
Speaker 3 (00:08):
You know, I kind of reviewing your your podcast, just
like going to refresh my memory and your your world
sounds like mine, sounds like kind of relieve, like, ah, yeah,
we're totally We're totally on the same page here.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Well yeah, because I mean you believe in the art
of always moving forward. Because I don't see that you're
ever sitting down waiting for life to happen.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
No, this is fine.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Me sitting down just because I'm on this call and
I can lose reception, so I have to sit.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
But no, my world is it's a constant overlap.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Now when you when you talk about losing reception, what
part of the nation are you in.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
I am in Urietta, California, So it's yeah, I don't
know if you know where that is, but an our
oh gosh, and our south of Orange County and our
north of San Diego, so perfect location.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
But it's it's in the you know, the mountains. So yeah, and.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
There's something very spiritual, very creative when it comes to
that area of California. And I've always wondered if it's
the gold that's in the hills, because there's just something
about that area that really humans pick up on it,
but they don't know what to do with it.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Well, I love it.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
So I lived in Green Bay for twenty one years
and so it is a slow pace and so I
don't know about the gold thing, but I just know
here it is. It's perfect because we're not in the
hustle and bustle. You know, beach is an hour away.
The fun things, you know, just that kind of vibe
is an hour away.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
But it's it's perfect.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
It's a perfect transition for me because we don't have
to be in traffic. It's laying low, it's conservative. Just yeah,
just different things I love about this area.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
So then as a creative mind, what do you do
with that open space then, because so many people have
a Google calendar and they feel like every little block
has got to be filled with something mm hmm open space.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
I don't know what your guests know or don't know
about me. But so we have a combined fifteen kids.
I have eight, So I mean my day starts at
four fifteen, four thirty in the morning, and it's just
(02:17):
go from there. So from four thirty to about six
thirty is just time for me to settle, to to pray,
to have time with God, and then to plan my day.
And then once six six o'clock hits, someone's up. You know,
my daughter's up. My youngest is seven, and so it's
just like it's just it's just on the go from there.
(02:39):
So I don't even know how to answer that question,
like open space, I don't know if there's really an
open space for me.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
It's just not well, because I'm not think. I look
at the fifteen children as being fifteen separated chapters. In
other words, it's like a book all its own every
single day, and so I look at that as being wow.
So each each person in your life is an experience
all its own that you can call your own. And
that's what I always loved about my mother is that
she didn't she didn't group her children as one. We
were all individuals, and she encouraged.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
That, yes, yeah, well, and so there's different dynamics with
all of them. But I love how I love that
I get to navigate through a seven year old all
the way to daughters in law who call me. I
love that they can call me and say, hey, can
you pray with me? Or can you give me experience
or wisdom on these situations? I mean, how do you
(03:28):
handle it? So for sure, I love that, and I
love that, you know, in the dynamics of a blended family,
that that it is.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
That it's it's good.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
You know, my kids get along with with his kids,
and I can have open conversation with them, and it
goes way beyond that. I've got I've got an extra
who stays here, a friend, a friend of my sons
from Wisconsin. I've got the girlfriend situation now, so one
of them has a girlfriend who I get along with.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
So so yeah, dynamics is the way. It's just a lot.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
You know, you bring up something very interesting. I think
that we're in this new age of blended families, and
because I came from a blended family too, and except
in my day we called it yours minded hours, but
today what's happening is is that we're seeing a lot
of families come together because that's how they're surviving. There
are several families in one home, doesn't mean that they're related,
but it's still a blended family. All of these family
(04:26):
members coming together in one in one solid home.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
And well and so they mine, six of my eight
live with me, all of my husbands. They're they're older,
a little bit older. So his youngest is thirteen, his
oldest is thirty. So we technically have.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Three grand babies.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
But they're far you know, they're in They're sorry, they're
in Chicago and Colorado. But when they come here, it
is you know, it's again, it's just a great experience
of are my kids looking at them as as true siblings?
I mean outside of us communicating here. My kids communicate
(05:10):
with their kids through text, through video games, through calls.
So it's it's relationships on their own outside of the parents.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
So it's awesome when you lead that lifestyle of an
unscripted lifestyle. I mean sometimes I freak out over that
because I feel like I'm missing something. What did I forget?
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Let me?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Let me get back on my trail again here? How
do you deal with that? Because I don't mind change.
I encourage you because I think that's how you slow
down the hands of time. But with what you've got
inside of your hands every single day, how do you
deal with an unscripted life?
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Unscripted life humility. Yeah, a lot of apologizing. A lot
of my mentality is, you know what, in the grand
scheme of things, the things that stress me out do,
I have to let them stress me out. For example,
if I'm Monday night to school, there was a time
where they'd be writing late and you know, be like,
(06:02):
you don't getting fast with getting getting angry, and it's like,
you know what, in the grand scheme of things, even
a year from now, I'll typically say five years from now,
but even a year from now or a month from now,
them being linked to school is not the end of
the world. Them missing a day of school is not
the end of the world. So even in the good things,
like I think before we were such a perfectionist family
couldn't miss a school at all. But I want to
(06:24):
create good memories. So I sometimes, especially if they're younger,
you know what, I'm going.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
To take you out, Let's go to Let's just take.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
The day, you know, and do something because you can
make up school work later and it's okay. I'd rather
have the memories than the perfect attendance certification who or
a certificate at the end of the school year, which
does nothing except going the trash eventually.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
But you're so spot on with that. And the reason
why I say that is because there's commercials here in
Carolina that are based one hundred percent on people who
are investing money that they want them to go into
a dream account. In other words, go out and have
fun with the family, disney World or Disneyland, go out
and create those memories because when you transition, the all
they're going to have are bills. And so this way
(07:08):
you can have those memories that you can tap on
and tap into. I mean you are spot on right now.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Yeah, well, thank you.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
I mean it took time, but it was it was
one going from one extreme to the other. Like I said,
I mean, there was a time where it was everything
had to be immaculate, the house had to be super clean,
one hundred percent attendance. And really, I mean I can
look and see the fruit of that, the good things
and the bad things. So my oldest, like I said,
is twenty two. My youngest is seven. So you know,
(07:38):
I can see the mistakes I made. I can see
where I can correct it. I can see how I
can talk to the older kids and glean and say, hey,
like these are the good things that we can bring
and bring them down to the younger ones. And these
are the things that you guys are you're going to
have to work through as you get older, as your parents,
you know, all those kind of things.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Please do not move. There's more with Eye Lean Noise
coming to up next, the name of her book, The
Unsidelined Life. We're checking back in with II Lean Noise. Well,
you're out there in California, and my daughter graduated from UCLA,
so I know that in California it is it is
cool to be thirty to forty minutes late, So I mean,
you don't have to be on time out there. And
(08:20):
to this day, even though they've moved back to Charlotte,
they're still thirty to forty minutes late. I mean, I
just don't understand. It's so funny, and it's like, come on,
can't you leave a little bit earlier. Yeah, we'll get there.
We're fine.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
Yeah, you know what, I got a lot of that
going because I mean I'm Asian too, so that's just
that's just a typical thing. So my kids are half
black have Asian, so we got that. It's just part
of the geneis and just part of the territory. Hey,
you know what, like to be a little late. It's
kind of cool. I try trying to do when it's
when when you.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Have to be on time. We pretty much do that.
But yeah, yeah, that's just part of who we are.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I just did this amazing conversation with the author of
a brand new book about brew and we talked about
the Asian community and how he helped change that and
to help bring some light in life to that of
the nineteen sixties and seventies. But one of the things
that we put a lot of focus on is community.
And so in listening to you share a conversation, I
(09:16):
feel that inside of you that you are still all
about people. It's not about me, It's about how can
I put myself out there with people?
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Yes, for sure, and you know, definitely in the Asian
community and in our culture, it is very much about community.
I think that with where I was, so I was,
like I said, twenty one years outside of my family,
and I think that I kind of I had to
gain a support system in Wisconsin and with what I
(09:47):
had dealt with, I was in that NFL world, and
so I had to create my own community outside of family.
And so I'm actually transitioning through because now I'm back
in California where all my family is here, and.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
I love this. I love that I absolutely get along
with my siblings.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
We don't get to see each other as much because
in California, you know, thirty minute thirty.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Miles is over an hour drive, so that's hard.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
But I love that I do have, you know, the
immediate family love and I could see that and my
kids so for sure, and I'm excited and I'm waiting
for them to, you know, get me into grandparent status
from my own.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
But that's why I'm looking forward to that.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
I can't wait till you know, I mean, you think
that out of eight kids, and it sounds like they
want to have big families, that's going to be a
lot of grandkids. That's gonna be a lot of generation,
a lot of them. Yeah, just a lot of families.
So I'm looking forward to that.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Yeah, because it's no longer putting a wallet in your
birth I'm not a wallet but a dollar bill inside
your your birthday card anymore. Because I have two grandchildren
and it's about taking them and their their their girlfriends
and boyfriends out to dinner. It's a come.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Oh for sure. Sure.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
So you being from with Consin and now in southern California,
I mean, did you catch that game yesterday with the
Green Bay Packers where that block was kicked? I mean
they should have had three and Ozero but it didn't happen.
Or are you putting your attention on the rams of California?
Speaker 3 (11:11):
You know what, I don't watch much. My kids are
our Packer fans. We typically would have seen that game. Yeah,
it was on TV, but I was watching the Charlie
Kirk stuff, so I didn't watch it, but I did hear, Yeah,
I did. My son told me about that. He was
venting to me about how we should have won.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Yeah, putting this project together, I love what you've done
here because you give us that opportunity to have someone
that the pages to me, speak to me. They give
me that opportunity to sit with somebody who I think
understands where we are and where we can grow from here.
That means that you're being used as a tool.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Yeah, So it's the on sideline life and so that
that analogy or that that description how to do it.
The fact that I was part of that NFL world
before and as a woman who had you know had
things going. Who had a career. I had a full
time job before I loved what I did.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
I sept.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
I set everything aside to be the helper that I'm
called to be. And so of course that world, you
know in the lineline, all that stuff I was a
part of, and to have to be a part of that,
and then to see that my marriage came crashing down
because of culton, you know all that stuff. Yeah, I
(12:26):
mean I had to navigate through all that stuff. And
so the on sideline life hits in so many ways.
It could be you know, in my situation thinking, shoot,
I'm divorced, now, how can I be credible? Or how
can anybody look at me as some sort of role model?
Or you know, like it's all about the kids and
a woman, you know, a mom thinks that you know,
(12:48):
her life ends, and you know, I love being a mom,
but doesn't mean that I have to get out of shape.
It doesn't mean that that I don't have dreams of
my own. So there's sideline in that way. So there's
sideline in so many ways, and so I love to
address all those things so that a woman is on sidelined,
so that she's living fully in what she's meant to
be doing and being.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
So that is so true, because that's that's the leadership.
Because every article I'm reading anymore, it's it's talking about
how women are having to stay home and stuff, and
it's like, Okay, don't let them stay home and binge
watch TV. Let's figure out what we can do to
keep activated and keep that connection with the community around them.
I'm such a pro community type person.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Yeah, well, and.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
I love I mean, I don't know, gosh, I can't
ever imagine just literally sitting and watching people.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
I just can't.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
It's like there's like constant multitesting, so I can't imagine
any maybe they're out there and depending.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Because I mean I like to who much is given,
much is required.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
So yes, there's for sure a lot more on my
plate because I'm driving around doing all these things.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
But I can't imagine a mom just sitting. But for
sure she needs to.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Make like, have community, she needs to have outlets, she
needs to have dreams and things of her own that
keeps he fulfilled so that she can be the best wife,
so that she can be the best so that she's
not doing life alone. Because yes, for sure, I think
women tend to do that, that we isolate ourselves and
we deny ourselves, neglect ourselves because it is only about
(14:11):
everybody else.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Don't you see yourself as giving them that permission because
people will go out and I didn't have anybody supporting me.
Yeah you do. Yeah, it's right here in this book. Yeah,
you do have some support here. And I'm sure that
it's connected to your website as well where you're gonna
go Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
You do it, Yes for sure, And I'm so excited.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
I'm going to be doing a retreat probably in the spring,
but it actually starts with we got the works for
something in January where I don't know if you said
it now or you said something on a podcast where
you're talking about mind, spirit, body, and soul. That's what
(14:48):
I want to do. I want to touch upon these things.
I want to be able to encourage women. Hey, because
I'm fifty two and I want I am actually in
the best shape of my life. And I'm excited about
that because you know what reality is, there's less years
that are on this side, and so I want to
make the most of whatever, whether it's ten, twenty, thirty,
(15:08):
forty years I want to make the best of this time,
and I want to be there for my kids. I
want to be as healthy as I am as been
for the twenty year old, for the seven year old.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
So that's how I look at things.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
See, that's one thing I'd learned in becoming a third
degree black belt is the fact that we were always
asked how many summers do you think you have left?
I would say, you need to find focus and let's
grow forward.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
M hmmm, yeah, yeah, yeah I.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Do.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
For I'm like, okay, I'm fifty. People's don't think I'm fifty.
I'm I'm like kind of like a thirty. So at seventy,
I want to be like a fifty.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
So yeah, well.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Let's let's take it there. Because there was one time
we did a movie promotion at an assisted living place
and they were in there just dancing around, partying with
Nicki Minaj and Bruno Mars and I had to ask
the director. I said, what what is going on here?
These are these are elders and she goes, here's the thing, dude,
you have your calendar age and then you've got your
mental age, and she goes, how old do you think
(16:07):
you are mentally? I said seventeen, and she goes, that's
exactly how old you are, and that's what they are too,
And so that has always been so valuable to learn
how old are you really on the inside.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
I would say about twenty nine thirty, Yeah, because I
think that there has to be that space of I
don't want to be too young because I have a
lot of responsibility and I want to be wise.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
I just think that I think I will say that
I'm a third I just think that as a whole,
it's weird. I my kids agree. I actually look younger
now than what I did.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Yeah, it's the way you feel that presents you how
you look. I mean, because that's like I'm sixty three
and people go forty seven and stop. Stop. Yeah. And
I don't know if it's because I still have long
hair in the middle of my back or whatever it is.
But you know what that if I've got hair, grow it,
you know, I'm gonna show that stuff up. I'm gonna
tell you that right now. What an ego.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
But the thing about it is, I mean you you
come across to me as somebody who is a daily
writer or a d Franker. In other words, you sit
down and when you write, you ask questions and you
locate answers.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
Yeah, yeah, for sure, you know what being a stay
home mom and stepping into you know, this whole thing
of entrepreneurship. And I don't even know if I well
actually in terms of the definition that I've learned about
an entrepreneur a word that used to be scared of
before because in my mind it was a risk taker,
(17:39):
you know, just someone money, it was just a lot.
And so seeing that an entrepreneur is actually a problem solver,
I started embracing it and realizing that me being a
stay home mom, there are so many things, especially with
a lot of kids, there are so many aspects of
(17:59):
that that I can take into the other areas of.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Being you know, the.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
Business owner or a founder of a movement, or an
author or a coach. Like there's so many things that
I'm going gosh, you know, just because I don't have
some sort of certification or you know, a resume that
says this job, this job, this job, I have a
lot of things that can bring to the table just
because of being mom and having to be a problem solve.
So that's really something I encourage in my daughter, Hey stop,
(18:27):
you know, let's let's not talk about the problem.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
How can we fix this? How what's the solution that
we can come up with.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Well, the thing about the thesided the unsidelined life is
the fact that you're leaving something for not only your kids,
but the generations say ahead, whereas my own parents left
me nothing in the way of writing and so and
so it's very important. And I love the fact that
you're doing this, But I have to ask you the
question in the way of do you see people of
today creating moments of being invisible because they're able to
(18:54):
ghost themselves through AI technology and or create a facade
on social media?
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Oh my gosh. Completely.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
You know, there's there's a lot of conversation where it
is it's easy to just kind of throw something out
there and then cover it with like whether you defend
yourself or do something with another video or another meme.
And as I was seeing that happen, especially again, you know,
(19:23):
with the Charlie Kirk situation, I had to just straight
call someone and say, hey, let's talk. Let's not hide
behind these memes or hide behind these just posts on
Facebook and and so it's just like, let's let's get
real with each other. And so it was good because
we are people and we were able to resolve and
(19:44):
come to you know, just resolution or agree to disagree instead. Yeah,
for sure, I think that's completely.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
That's the thing that I've learned over the past couple
of weeks here with the lessons because I had no clue.
I had no clue, but there was no way I
was going to sit here like a bump on a
log and not try to figure out what everybody was
talking about. And the one thing that stands out the
most is exactly what you just said. Can we just talk.
We don't have to agree, we just need to talk.
And that's the one thing that's still very vibrant in
my heart.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Yes, for sure, and it's good. It's I mean, I
don't know, I mean, just I do.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
I do think that that's just allowed a lot for dialogue.
It's allowed for dialogue in my own home with my kids.
So it's good to address these things. And I think
as a mom and learning what I've learned, I've learned
to be able to just be humble and say, you
know what, let me let me figar my kids out yep,
(20:40):
you know, let's let's talk. Even if I don't agree,
I want to embrace. I want conversation. I don't want
to be and this is probably what I've grown up
with sometimes where it's like there's certain things that are
hush hush, there's certain things you don't talk about, and
I'm not going to be it's I'm not encouraging like
my kids, you know, like best, but I'm not their
(21:01):
enemy either. I want to be the parent, and I
also want I want to say, hey, I am your
biggest cheerleader and I want to help you navigate life.
I don't want them to think mom doesn't know anything,
Mom is a p you know, all those things.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
So I will be I'm.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
Opening up to them about and of course age appropriate,
but this is this is what I did when I
was your age, or these are the stupid mistakes I made,
you know, just because you see me like this, I
was there, and so I really try to encourage that
tim to open conversations so that they know mom, Mom
is for me and Mom is approachable.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
See that's that's got to be your marketing behind what
you're going to be doing next spring with with that
group of people because this way you got to you
got to reach the everyday person. This isn't about the
creative soul. This isn't about the banker or somebody who's
running a business. This is about the everyday, average person
that's sitting there going what's next.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
Yeah, I you know, I agree in so many ways.
There are so many because I was single for four years,
there are so many single moms who just kind of
to keep quiet, like you said, And when I hear
their stories and I hear how they're doing it, how
they're successful, how they're helping out their kids, it's like,
you know, don't be quite like we got to share
(22:11):
these stories. You're helping you know, you're you're doing some
great things, like let's help each other. And so not
only that, but yeah, I for me, I get intimidated
by the working woman, and so I kind of, you know,
I'll kind of like trickle back and it's like, you
know what, I bring something to ti to the table
that someone needs and I'm me, I'm not them, Like
(22:36):
I want to be able to encourage. Like these are
all the different walks of life, These are all the
different dynamics, and these are all the different personalities and
you can be used to me it is it's living out.
You're calling inside and outside of the home.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
So inside your creative mind. Though, there is there a
side of you, because I know that I would love
to do it. Is there a side of you that
would like to take the format of a Charlie Kirk
and sit there and go sit in front of people
and say, tell me your stuff. Let's just have a conversation.
I have no idea, this is unrehearsed. Just tell me
what you're going through and let's just talk about it.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Yeah, you know, I I would love to. So I
am so inspired by the whole situation. It would show
differently because I can, like in my mom world, you know,
just this whole concept of sitting down where it's always
multitasking and and there's there has to be discipline time
of you know, like being single tasks. But so often
(23:35):
it is multitasking. And it's funny because in my podcast,
I'll say, hey, make sure that you're doing something else
right now, like as you're doing laundry, or as you're
going for a walk, or as you're doing dishes. Listen
to this because it's not it's it's just not part
of our world typically to like just sit down and
listen to a podcasts or sit down and have a conversation.
(23:57):
I don't know, it's it's hard for me, so yes,
I mean I would love to do that, but and
I think that we need to make time for that.
And I think that that's why there's the encouragement of
the retreats, the encouragement of the coaching of like, hey,
like you know, let's set aside this time each week
to have a conversation.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Or to think. I mean, and that's really for me.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
That is, like I said, the time in prayer for
me is big, and that's in the morning. That's the
uninterrupted time hopefully. You know, most days are like that.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
How do you have time to do a podcast? Because
I do a podcast. I know what's time consuming. I
know that in order to prepare for this conversation today,
I had to have that pin in my hand and
doing the research last Wednesday night. Yeah, it's like, how
are you finding the time to host a podcast?
Speaker 2 (24:45):
For sure? With help?
Speaker 3 (24:46):
So what I do typically is I just I just
record it and this season will probably be less guests,
but it is for sure with a team. So I
use up they do everything else. I just, like I said,
I just record it. And when I do have guests,
you know, it's it's always great and it's on me.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
So I don't know how often you do your podcast,
but my.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Energery every day for every day. Okay, I'm a radio guy,
so I got to do it every day.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Yeah, I just do one uh one a week.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
Gosh, isn't one a week? Yeah, once a week. And so,
like I said, I have help. But it was cool
because I just started again. So this is season two
and this theme is super different than last year. Last
year was the on side life with with the highlight
of like the NFL world and how these women, you know,
just the stereotype that's out there and really encouraging them
(25:44):
to get out and just to know like, hey, you're
not just the wife of whereas this year it is
really there's there's a chapter in the Bible or a
book in the Bible. It's Problems thirty one, and it's
all about this woman. And again, when I think about
you and how you talk and where you're you're all
over that is that is like the Problems thirty one
(26:06):
woman in this chapter and she's doing all these things
and she's you know, being there for her husband, being
there for kids, she's out in the community. And I
remember when I first read this, I was like, Okay,
I hated reading it because I felt like I could
never live up to her. But now I'm understanding, Okay,
there's seasons of this woman, and there's different times, and
(26:28):
there's different ways that show up. And it's different with
every woman. It's not like she's because in here she's
she's like sewing all her clothes and and doing all
these things. It's like, I don't know how, you know,
I felt like I was I couldn't live up to her,
and so now it's different that I see, you know
it should I'm I'm different than her, but I am
this person who is doing all these things.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
I'm helping my husband, I'm helping my children.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
I'm you know, I'm making impact in different ways than
this particular person.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Don't you love that though? When you can, when you
can hear the stories of the Big Book and sit
there and go, Okay, somewhere in Elijah or even Elijah,
you find a piece of yourself, or even Peter turning
around to help somebody up to where he is. You
see even the woman at the well. You sit there
and you say, and you go, there's a piece of
her that is inside of what I try to do
every day. And that's what I love about doing that.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
Yes, I love And you know, I'm sorry, I can't
even just because it's just all over the place.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
I look at someone like Erica Kirk. I don't know
if you saw that, but man.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Yeah, I forgive you. I forgive I forgive you. It's
like that took some courage and some guts right there.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Yeah, holy cow, like and how many people saw.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
That that that that spoke volumes to me, And that
spoke volumes of the.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Just the power.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
And when I say power, it's like the impact a
woman can make because so many of us. And I
felt like that, I felt like, who am I? All
I do is full laundry and do things like you know,
am I making impact?
Speaker 2 (27:58):
But man, we do? And I think that when we.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
Know who we are and we know where our voices
and just know that our identity, Like for me, I
just lookt you know, God made me a certain way
and I have different gifts and I could bring it
to the table and it's not in a prideful way.
It is I have purpose and I want people to
live out the purpose because we need each other.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
We're a body.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
And so yes, I mean I was so inspired and
I just think, like I want to be that.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
I want to be someone like that.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
So don't you think though, because people are always searching
for their purpose in life in Hollywood teaches us, oh,
you got to go with your purpose in life. Don't
you think that in order to get that purpose, we
have to figure out what the process and the progress
is so that we can take the necessary steps.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
It is all.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
It is all about process. That's funny they say that
for sure. You know, like I have to tell you
a little things so you know, here I'm trying to
do these things like okay outside of you know, the
family and so you know, just the blong you know,
the books, the podcast, all these things. Well, then summer
hits and I'm thinking, okay, you guys are getting the
(29:04):
way of me, you know. And it wasn't humbling, and
I felt like like I felt like I was saying, hey,
stop everything, your family comes first. And so in my
mind I was thinking, shoot, like great things are going
to be you know, put off.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
My book is going to be put off three.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
Months of fully laying it down so that I could
be with family, and he told me to clean house.
And there was just this process of me putting down
me but being there for everybody else. And in that process,
he was actually giving me all like when I say
he Scott and God was giving me all these things
on how the lessons that I'm going to be learning,
(29:42):
the lessons I'm going to be teaching, and how I
wasn't alone, Like it actually encouraged me to go, WHOA
my home. I am the one to create the environment
for my home. I want to be able to create
a sanctuary for my home, a place of peace and
and God's glory.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
And his presence. And he showed me how to do that.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
And then from there, thinking that I had three months
and I was taking a break for everybody else, he
was Shawn me, do you see I've given you everything that.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
You've asked for for that. So it's been it's been
an amazing through us. But it's all about process for sure.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
Wow, I could talk to you all day. So here's
my invitation to you as you continue to grow and
putting this retreat together. We got to talk again because
you're gonna have to do a two three month I
always call it the Taylor Swift. You got to have
your pre sales. You got to you gotta get the
word out there and then and get people interested in it,
get it to your website, and let's grow forward. So
we've got we've got to get together and talk again
(30:38):
and then and then right before even before the retreat
or whatever, even afterwards. Then we can talk about what
you learned on that retreat. I just know that this
is such a positive place for you to be and
to grow forward.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
I would love to That would be so exciting. Yes, yes,
I'm all about before and after. So I'd love to
do that.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Yeah, because to me, that's what it's all about. Because
we all see the headlines, but we don't see the
story after the headlines.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
Yes, oh yeah, tell me about it. I totally understand that.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
So where can people go to find out more about you?
I mean to really find out more about you and
start planting some seeds for future fruit.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
The Ladybellator dot com so l A d Y B
E l l A t o R dot com. That's
one of them. The on Sideline Life is my podcast.
I'm on you know, I lean noise on Facebook, Instagram,
all the things you can find me.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
So yeah, i'd love I'd love to connect with these women.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
So so I'm glad you finally said your last name
because I sat here and I kept going to do
something about her last name, since something about her last
and because I mean, in reality, how many people live
in noise all the time? You do? That's your last name?
Speaker 2 (31:47):
Yes? Yeah? And you know then no, yes, that's so
obviously it's my husband's name. No, yes, because that's what
people to say.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
There's something significant about that, because it's like, no, make
a decision and stick with it.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
So, oh my god, you can do an entire lesson
just on that.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Oh man, oh man, oh man. Well you got to
come back anytime. The door is always going to be
open for you.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Thank you. It was my pleasure. I loved it. Well
you you you got my mind like I had to
be swift with you. I love it. It's total practice
for me.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
And I'm just sitting here listening to you. I swear
I didn't say anything you. I just picked up on
your vibe.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
Oh good, well good, I picked up on yours too.
You're like, I'm like he's he's a man version of me.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Will you be brilliant today?
Speaker 2 (32:40):
Okay, thank you so much er so nice having for
talking to you.
Head on. Good afternoon, everybody. How you doing, I'm good?
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Is this errow?
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Yes? How are you doing today? Ah?
Speaker 3 (00:08):
You know, I kind of reviewing your your podcast, just
like going to refresh my memory and your your world
sounds like mine, sounds like kind of relieve, like, ah, yeah,
we're totally We're totally on the same page here.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Well yeah, because I mean you believe in the art
of always moving forward. Because I don't see that you're
ever sitting down waiting for life to happen.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
No, this is fine.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Me sitting down just because I'm on this call and
I can lose reception, so I have to sit.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
But no, my world is it's a constant overlap.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Now when you when you talk about losing reception, what
part of the nation are you in.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
I am in Urietta, California, So it's yeah, I don't
know if you know where that is, but an our
oh gosh, and our south of Orange County and our
north of San Diego, so perfect location.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
But it's it's in the you know, the mountains. So yeah, and.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
There's something very spiritual, very creative when it comes to
that area of California. And I've always wondered if it's
the gold that's in the hills, because there's just something
about that area that really humans pick up on it,
but they don't know what to do with it.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Well, I love it.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
So I lived in Green Bay for twenty one years
and so it is a slow pace and so I
don't know about the gold thing, but I just know
here it is. It's perfect because we're not in the
hustle and bustle. You know, beach is an hour away.
The fun things, you know, just that kind of vibe
is an hour away.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
But it's it's perfect.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
It's a perfect transition for me because we don't have
to be in traffic. It's laying low, it's conservative. Just yeah,
just different things I love about this area.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
So then as a creative mind, what do you do
with that open space then, because so many people have
a Google calendar and they feel like every little block
has got to be filled with something mm hmm open space.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
I don't know what your guests know or don't know
about me. But so we have a combined fifteen kids.
I have eight, So I mean my day starts at
four fifteen, four thirty in the morning, and it's just
(02:17):
go from there. So from four thirty to about six
thirty is just time for me to settle, to to pray,
to have time with God, and then to plan my day.
And then once six six o'clock hits, someone's up. You know,
my daughter's up. My youngest is seven, and so it's
just like it's just it's just on the go from there.
(02:39):
So I don't even know how to answer that question,
like open space, I don't know if there's really an
open space for me.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
It's just not well, because I'm not think. I look
at the fifteen children as being fifteen separated chapters. In
other words, it's like a book all its own every
single day, and so I look at that as being wow.
So each each person in your life is an experience
all its own that you can call your own. And
that's what I always loved about my mother is that
she didn't she didn't group her children as one. We
were all individuals, and she encouraged.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
That, yes, yeah, well, and so there's different dynamics with
all of them. But I love how I love that
I get to navigate through a seven year old all
the way to daughters in law who call me. I
love that they can call me and say, hey, can
you pray with me? Or can you give me experience
or wisdom on these situations? I mean, how do you
(03:28):
handle it? So for sure, I love that, and I
love that, you know, in the dynamics of a blended family,
that that it is.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
That it's it's good.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
You know, my kids get along with with his kids,
and I can have open conversation with them, and it
goes way beyond that. I've got I've got an extra
who stays here, a friend, a friend of my sons
from Wisconsin. I've got the girlfriend situation now, so one
of them has a girlfriend who I get along with.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
So so yeah, dynamics is the way. It's just a lot.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
You know, you bring up something very interesting. I think
that we're in this new age of blended families, and
because I came from a blended family too, and except
in my day we called it yours minded hours, but
today what's happening is is that we're seeing a lot
of families come together because that's how they're surviving. There
are several families in one home, doesn't mean that they're related,
but it's still a blended family. All of these family
(04:26):
members coming together in one in one solid home.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
And well and so they mine, six of my eight
live with me, all of my husbands. They're they're older,
a little bit older. So his youngest is thirteen, his
oldest is thirty. So we technically have.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Three grand babies.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
But they're far you know, they're in They're sorry, they're
in Chicago and Colorado. But when they come here, it
is you know, it's again, it's just a great experience
of are my kids looking at them as as true siblings?
I mean outside of us communicating here. My kids communicate
(05:10):
with their kids through text, through video games, through calls.
So it's it's relationships on their own outside of the parents.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
So it's awesome when you lead that lifestyle of an
unscripted lifestyle. I mean sometimes I freak out over that
because I feel like I'm missing something. What did I forget?
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Let me?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Let me get back on my trail again here? How
do you deal with that? Because I don't mind change.
I encourage you because I think that's how you slow
down the hands of time. But with what you've got
inside of your hands every single day, how do you
deal with an unscripted life?
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Unscripted life humility. Yeah, a lot of apologizing. A lot
of my mentality is, you know what, in the grand
scheme of things, the things that stress me out do,
I have to let them stress me out. For example,
if I'm Monday night to school, there was a time
where they'd be writing late and you know, be like,
(06:02):
you don't getting fast with getting getting angry, and it's like,
you know what, in the grand scheme of things, even
a year from now, I'll typically say five years from now,
but even a year from now or a month from now,
them being linked to school is not the end of
the world. Them missing a day of school is not
the end of the world. So even in the good things,
like I think before we were such a perfectionist family
couldn't miss a school at all. But I want to
(06:24):
create good memories. So I sometimes, especially if they're younger,
you know what, I'm going.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
To take you out, Let's go to Let's just take.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
The day, you know, and do something because you can
make up school work later and it's okay. I'd rather
have the memories than the perfect attendance certification who or
a certificate at the end of the school year, which
does nothing except going the trash eventually.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
But you're so spot on with that. And the reason
why I say that is because there's commercials here in
Carolina that are based one hundred percent on people who
are investing money that they want them to go into
a dream account. In other words, go out and have
fun with the family, disney World or Disneyland, go out
and create those memories because when you transition, the all
they're going to have are bills. And so this way
(07:08):
you can have those memories that you can tap on
and tap into. I mean you are spot on right now.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Yeah, well, thank you.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
I mean it took time, but it was it was
one going from one extreme to the other. Like I said,
I mean, there was a time where it was everything
had to be immaculate, the house had to be super clean,
one hundred percent attendance. And really, I mean I can
look and see the fruit of that, the good things
and the bad things. So my oldest, like I said,
is twenty two. My youngest is seven. So you know,
(07:38):
I can see the mistakes I made. I can see
where I can correct it. I can see how I
can talk to the older kids and glean and say, hey,
like these are the good things that we can bring
and bring them down to the younger ones. And these
are the things that you guys are you're going to
have to work through as you get older, as your parents,
you know, all those kind of things.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Please do not move. There's more with Eye Lean Noise
coming to up next, the name of her book, The
Unsidelined Life. We're checking back in with II Lean Noise. Well,
you're out there in California, and my daughter graduated from UCLA,
so I know that in California it is it is
cool to be thirty to forty minutes late, So I mean,
you don't have to be on time out there. And
(08:20):
to this day, even though they've moved back to Charlotte,
they're still thirty to forty minutes late. I mean, I
just don't understand. It's so funny, and it's like, come on,
can't you leave a little bit earlier. Yeah, we'll get there.
We're fine.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
Yeah, you know what, I got a lot of that
going because I mean I'm Asian too, so that's just
that's just a typical thing. So my kids are half
black have Asian, so we got that. It's just part
of the geneis and just part of the territory. Hey,
you know what, like to be a little late. It's
kind of cool. I try trying to do when it's
when when you.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Have to be on time. We pretty much do that.
But yeah, yeah, that's just part of who we are.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I just did this amazing conversation with the author of
a brand new book about brew and we talked about
the Asian community and how he helped change that and
to help bring some light in life to that of
the nineteen sixties and seventies. But one of the things
that we put a lot of focus on is community.
And so in listening to you share a conversation, I
(09:16):
feel that inside of you that you are still all
about people. It's not about me, It's about how can
I put myself out there with people?
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Yes, for sure, and you know, definitely in the Asian
community and in our culture, it is very much about community.
I think that with where I was, so I was,
like I said, twenty one years outside of my family,
and I think that I kind of I had to
gain a support system in Wisconsin and with what I
(09:47):
had dealt with, I was in that NFL world, and
so I had to create my own community outside of family.
And so I'm actually transitioning through because now I'm back
in California where all my family is here, and.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
I love this. I love that I absolutely get along
with my siblings.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
We don't get to see each other as much because
in California, you know, thirty minute thirty.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Miles is over an hour drive, so that's hard.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
But I love that I do have, you know, the
immediate family love and I could see that and my
kids so for sure, and I'm excited and I'm waiting
for them to, you know, get me into grandparent status
from my own.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
But that's why I'm looking forward to that.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
I can't wait till you know, I mean, you think
that out of eight kids, and it sounds like they
want to have big families, that's going to be a
lot of grandkids. That's gonna be a lot of generation,
a lot of them. Yeah, just a lot of families.
So I'm looking forward to that.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Yeah, because it's no longer putting a wallet in your
birth I'm not a wallet but a dollar bill inside
your your birthday card anymore. Because I have two grandchildren
and it's about taking them and their their their girlfriends
and boyfriends out to dinner. It's a come.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Oh for sure. Sure.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
So you being from with Consin and now in southern California,
I mean, did you catch that game yesterday with the
Green Bay Packers where that block was kicked? I mean
they should have had three and Ozero but it didn't happen.
Or are you putting your attention on the rams of California?
Speaker 3 (11:11):
You know what, I don't watch much. My kids are
our Packer fans. We typically would have seen that game. Yeah,
it was on TV, but I was watching the Charlie
Kirk stuff, so I didn't watch it, but I did hear, Yeah,
I did. My son told me about that. He was
venting to me about how we should have won.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Yeah, putting this project together, I love what you've done
here because you give us that opportunity to have someone
that the pages to me, speak to me. They give
me that opportunity to sit with somebody who I think
understands where we are and where we can grow from here.
That means that you're being used as a tool.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Yeah, So it's the on sideline life and so that
that analogy or that that description how to do it.
The fact that I was part of that NFL world
before and as a woman who had you know had
things going. Who had a career. I had a full
time job before I loved what I did.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
I sept.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
I set everything aside to be the helper that I'm
called to be. And so of course that world, you
know in the lineline, all that stuff I was a
part of, and to have to be a part of that,
and then to see that my marriage came crashing down
because of culton, you know all that stuff. Yeah, I
(12:26):
mean I had to navigate through all that stuff. And
so the on sideline life hits in so many ways.
It could be you know, in my situation thinking, shoot,
I'm divorced, now, how can I be credible? Or how
can anybody look at me as some sort of role model?
Or you know, like it's all about the kids and
a woman, you know, a mom thinks that you know,
(12:48):
her life ends, and you know, I love being a mom,
but doesn't mean that I have to get out of shape.
It doesn't mean that that I don't have dreams of
my own. So there's sideline in that way. So there's
sideline in so many ways, and so I love to
address all those things so that a woman is on sidelined,
so that she's living fully in what she's meant to
be doing and being.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
So that is so true, because that's that's the leadership.
Because every article I'm reading anymore, it's it's talking about
how women are having to stay home and stuff, and
it's like, Okay, don't let them stay home and binge
watch TV. Let's figure out what we can do to
keep activated and keep that connection with the community around them.
I'm such a pro community type person.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Yeah, well, and.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
I love I mean, I don't know, gosh, I can't
ever imagine just literally sitting and watching people.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
I just can't.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
It's like there's like constant multitesting, so I can't imagine
any maybe they're out there and depending.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Because I mean I like to who much is given,
much is required.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
So yes, there's for sure a lot more on my
plate because I'm driving around doing all these things.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
But I can't imagine a mom just sitting. But for
sure she needs to.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Make like, have community, she needs to have outlets, she
needs to have dreams and things of her own that
keeps he fulfilled so that she can be the best wife,
so that she can be the best so that she's
not doing life alone. Because yes, for sure, I think
women tend to do that, that we isolate ourselves and
we deny ourselves, neglect ourselves because it is only about
(14:11):
everybody else.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Don't you see yourself as giving them that permission because
people will go out and I didn't have anybody supporting me.
Yeah you do. Yeah, it's right here in this book. Yeah,
you do have some support here. And I'm sure that
it's connected to your website as well where you're gonna
go Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
You do it, Yes for sure, And I'm so excited.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
I'm going to be doing a retreat probably in the spring,
but it actually starts with we got the works for
something in January where I don't know if you said
it now or you said something on a podcast where
you're talking about mind, spirit, body, and soul. That's what
(14:48):
I want to do. I want to touch upon these things.
I want to be able to encourage women. Hey, because
I'm fifty two and I want I am actually in
the best shape of my life. And I'm excited about
that because you know what reality is, there's less years
that are on this side, and so I want to
make the most of whatever, whether it's ten, twenty, thirty,
(15:08):
forty years I want to make the best of this time,
and I want to be there for my kids. I
want to be as healthy as I am as been
for the twenty year old, for the seven year old.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
So that's how I look at things.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
See, that's one thing I'd learned in becoming a third
degree black belt is the fact that we were always
asked how many summers do you think you have left?
I would say, you need to find focus and let's
grow forward.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
M hmmm, yeah, yeah, yeah I.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Do.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
For I'm like, okay, I'm fifty. People's don't think I'm fifty.
I'm I'm like kind of like a thirty. So at seventy,
I want to be like a fifty.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
So yeah, well.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Let's let's take it there. Because there was one time
we did a movie promotion at an assisted living place
and they were in there just dancing around, partying with
Nicki Minaj and Bruno Mars and I had to ask
the director. I said, what what is going on here?
These are these are elders and she goes, here's the thing, dude,
you have your calendar age and then you've got your
mental age, and she goes, how old do you think
(16:07):
you are mentally? I said seventeen, and she goes, that's
exactly how old you are, and that's what they are too,
And so that has always been so valuable to learn
how old are you really on the inside.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
I would say about twenty nine thirty, Yeah, because I
think that there has to be that space of I
don't want to be too young because I have a
lot of responsibility and I want to be wise.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
I just think that I think I will say that
I'm a third I just think that as a whole,
it's weird. I my kids agree. I actually look younger
now than what I did.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Yeah, it's the way you feel that presents you how
you look. I mean, because that's like I'm sixty three
and people go forty seven and stop. Stop. Yeah. And
I don't know if it's because I still have long
hair in the middle of my back or whatever it is.
But you know what that if I've got hair, grow it,
you know, I'm gonna show that stuff up. I'm gonna
tell you that right now. What an ego.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
But the thing about it is, I mean you you
come across to me as somebody who is a daily
writer or a d Franker. In other words, you sit
down and when you write, you ask questions and you
locate answers.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
Yeah, yeah, for sure, you know what being a stay
home mom and stepping into you know, this whole thing
of entrepreneurship. And I don't even know if I well
actually in terms of the definition that I've learned about
an entrepreneur a word that used to be scared of
before because in my mind it was a risk taker,
(17:39):
you know, just someone money, it was just a lot.
And so seeing that an entrepreneur is actually a problem solver,
I started embracing it and realizing that me being a
stay home mom, there are so many things, especially with
a lot of kids, there are so many aspects of
(17:59):
that that I can take into the other areas of.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Being you know, the.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
Business owner or a founder of a movement, or an
author or a coach. Like there's so many things that
I'm going gosh, you know, just because I don't have
some sort of certification or you know, a resume that
says this job, this job, this job, I have a
lot of things that can bring to the table just
because of being mom and having to be a problem solve.
So that's really something I encourage in my daughter, Hey stop,
(18:27):
you know, let's let's not talk about the problem.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
How can we fix this? How what's the solution that
we can come up with.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Well, the thing about the thesided the unsidelined life is
the fact that you're leaving something for not only your kids,
but the generations say ahead, whereas my own parents left
me nothing in the way of writing and so and
so it's very important. And I love the fact that
you're doing this, But I have to ask you the
question in the way of do you see people of
today creating moments of being invisible because they're able to
(18:54):
ghost themselves through AI technology and or create a facade
on social media?
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Oh my gosh. Completely.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
You know, there's there's a lot of conversation where it
is it's easy to just kind of throw something out
there and then cover it with like whether you defend
yourself or do something with another video or another meme.
And as I was seeing that happen, especially again, you know,
(19:23):
with the Charlie Kirk situation, I had to just straight
call someone and say, hey, let's talk. Let's not hide
behind these memes or hide behind these just posts on
Facebook and and so it's just like, let's let's get
real with each other. And so it was good because
we are people and we were able to resolve and
(19:44):
come to you know, just resolution or agree to disagree instead. Yeah,
for sure, I think that's completely.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
That's the thing that I've learned over the past couple
of weeks here with the lessons because I had no clue.
I had no clue, but there was no way I
was going to sit here like a bump on a
log and not try to figure out what everybody was
talking about. And the one thing that stands out the
most is exactly what you just said. Can we just talk.
We don't have to agree, we just need to talk.
And that's the one thing that's still very vibrant in
my heart.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Yes, for sure, and it's good. It's I mean, I
don't know, I mean, just I do.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
I do think that that's just allowed a lot for dialogue.
It's allowed for dialogue in my own home with my kids.
So it's good to address these things. And I think
as a mom and learning what I've learned, I've learned
to be able to just be humble and say, you
know what, let me let me figar my kids out yep,
(20:40):
you know, let's let's talk. Even if I don't agree,
I want to embrace. I want conversation. I don't want
to be and this is probably what I've grown up
with sometimes where it's like there's certain things that are
hush hush, there's certain things you don't talk about, and
I'm not going to be it's I'm not encouraging like
my kids, you know, like best, but I'm not their
(21:01):
enemy either. I want to be the parent, and I
also want I want to say, hey, I am your
biggest cheerleader and I want to help you navigate life.
I don't want them to think mom doesn't know anything,
Mom is a p you know, all those things.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
So I will be I'm.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
Opening up to them about and of course age appropriate,
but this is this is what I did when I
was your age, or these are the stupid mistakes I made,
you know, just because you see me like this, I
was there, and so I really try to encourage that
tim to open conversations so that they know mom, Mom
is for me and Mom is approachable.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
See that's that's got to be your marketing behind what
you're going to be doing next spring with with that
group of people because this way you got to you
got to reach the everyday person. This isn't about the
creative soul. This isn't about the banker or somebody who's
running a business. This is about the everyday, average person
that's sitting there going what's next.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
Yeah, I you know, I agree in so many ways.
There are so many because I was single for four years,
there are so many single moms who just kind of
to keep quiet, like you said, And when I hear
their stories and I hear how they're doing it, how
they're successful, how they're helping out their kids, it's like,
you know, don't be quite like we got to share
(22:11):
these stories. You're helping you know, you're you're doing some
great things, like let's help each other. And so not
only that, but yeah, I for me, I get intimidated
by the working woman, and so I kind of, you know,
I'll kind of like trickle back and it's like, you
know what, I bring something to ti to the table
that someone needs and I'm me, I'm not them, Like
(22:36):
I want to be able to encourage. Like these are
all the different walks of life, These are all the
different dynamics, and these are all the different personalities and
you can be used to me it is it's living out.
You're calling inside and outside of the home.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
So inside your creative mind. Though, there is there a
side of you, because I know that I would love
to do it. Is there a side of you that
would like to take the format of a Charlie Kirk
and sit there and go sit in front of people
and say, tell me your stuff. Let's just have a conversation.
I have no idea, this is unrehearsed. Just tell me
what you're going through and let's just talk about it.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Yeah, you know, I I would love to. So I
am so inspired by the whole situation. It would show
differently because I can, like in my mom world, you know,
just this whole concept of sitting down where it's always
multitasking and and there's there has to be discipline time
of you know, like being single tasks. But so often
(23:35):
it is multitasking. And it's funny because in my podcast,
I'll say, hey, make sure that you're doing something else
right now, like as you're doing laundry, or as you're
going for a walk, or as you're doing dishes. Listen
to this because it's not it's it's just not part
of our world typically to like just sit down and
listen to a podcasts or sit down and have a conversation.
(23:57):
I don't know, it's it's hard for me, so yes,
I mean I would love to do that, but and
I think that we need to make time for that.
And I think that that's why there's the encouragement of
the retreats, the encouragement of the coaching of like, hey,
like you know, let's set aside this time each week
to have a conversation.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Or to think. I mean, and that's really for me.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
That is, like I said, the time in prayer for
me is big, and that's in the morning. That's the
uninterrupted time hopefully. You know, most days are like that.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
How do you have time to do a podcast? Because
I do a podcast. I know what's time consuming. I
know that in order to prepare for this conversation today,
I had to have that pin in my hand and
doing the research last Wednesday night. Yeah, it's like, how
are you finding the time to host a podcast?
Speaker 2 (24:45):
For sure? With help?
Speaker 3 (24:46):
So what I do typically is I just I just
record it and this season will probably be less guests,
but it is for sure with a team. So I
use up they do everything else. I just, like I said,
I just record it. And when I do have guests,
you know, it's it's always great and it's on me.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
So I don't know how often you do your podcast,
but my.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Energery every day for every day. Okay, I'm a radio guy,
so I got to do it every day.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Yeah, I just do one uh one a week.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
Gosh, isn't one a week? Yeah, once a week. And so,
like I said, I have help. But it was cool
because I just started again. So this is season two
and this theme is super different than last year. Last
year was the on side life with with the highlight
of like the NFL world and how these women, you know,
just the stereotype that's out there and really encouraging them
(25:44):
to get out and just to know like, hey, you're
not just the wife of whereas this year it is
really there's there's a chapter in the Bible or a
book in the Bible. It's Problems thirty one, and it's
all about this woman. And again, when I think about
you and how you talk and where you're you're all
over that is that is like the Problems thirty one
(26:06):
woman in this chapter and she's doing all these things
and she's you know, being there for her husband, being
there for kids, she's out in the community. And I
remember when I first read this, I was like, Okay,
I hated reading it because I felt like I could
never live up to her. But now I'm understanding, Okay,
there's seasons of this woman, and there's different times, and
(26:28):
there's different ways that show up. And it's different with
every woman. It's not like she's because in here she's
she's like sewing all her clothes and and doing all
these things. It's like, I don't know how, you know,
I felt like I was I couldn't live up to her,
and so now it's different that I see, you know
it should I'm I'm different than her, but I am
this person who is doing all these things.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
I'm helping my husband, I'm helping my children.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
I'm you know, I'm making impact in different ways than
this particular person.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Don't you love that though? When you can, when you
can hear the stories of the Big Book and sit
there and go, Okay, somewhere in Elijah or even Elijah,
you find a piece of yourself, or even Peter turning
around to help somebody up to where he is. You
see even the woman at the well. You sit there
and you say, and you go, there's a piece of
her that is inside of what I try to do
every day. And that's what I love about doing that.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
Yes, I love And you know, I'm sorry, I can't
even just because it's just all over the place.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
I look at someone like Erica Kirk. I don't know
if you saw that, but man.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Yeah, I forgive you. I forgive I forgive you. It's
like that took some courage and some guts right there.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Yeah, holy cow, like and how many people saw.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
That that that that spoke volumes to me, And that
spoke volumes of the.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Just the power.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
And when I say power, it's like the impact a
woman can make because so many of us. And I
felt like that, I felt like, who am I? All
I do is full laundry and do things like you know,
am I making impact?
Speaker 2 (27:58):
But man, we do? And I think that when we.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
Know who we are and we know where our voices
and just know that our identity, Like for me, I
just lookt you know, God made me a certain way
and I have different gifts and I could bring it
to the table and it's not in a prideful way.
It is I have purpose and I want people to
live out the purpose because we need each other.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
We're a body.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
And so yes, I mean I was so inspired and
I just think, like I want to be that.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
I want to be someone like that.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
So don't you think though, because people are always searching
for their purpose in life in Hollywood teaches us, oh,
you got to go with your purpose in life. Don't
you think that in order to get that purpose, we
have to figure out what the process and the progress
is so that we can take the necessary steps.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
It is all.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
It is all about process. That's funny they say that
for sure. You know, like I have to tell you
a little things so you know, here I'm trying to
do these things like okay outside of you know, the
family and so you know, just the blong you know,
the books, the podcast, all these things. Well, then summer
hits and I'm thinking, okay, you guys are getting the
(29:04):
way of me, you know. And it wasn't humbling, and
I felt like like I felt like I was saying, hey,
stop everything, your family comes first. And so in my
mind I was thinking, shoot, like great things are going
to be you know, put off.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
My book is going to be put off three.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
Months of fully laying it down so that I could
be with family, and he told me to clean house.
And there was just this process of me putting down
me but being there for everybody else. And in that process,
he was actually giving me all like when I say
he Scott and God was giving me all these things
on how the lessons that I'm going to be learning,
(29:42):
the lessons I'm going to be teaching, and how I
wasn't alone, Like it actually encouraged me to go, WHOA
my home. I am the one to create the environment
for my home. I want to be able to create
a sanctuary for my home, a place of peace and
and God's glory.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
And his presence. And he showed me how to do that.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
And then from there, thinking that I had three months
and I was taking a break for everybody else, he
was Shawn me, do you see I've given you everything that.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
You've asked for for that. So it's been it's been
an amazing through us. But it's all about process for sure.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
Wow, I could talk to you all day. So here's
my invitation to you as you continue to grow and
putting this retreat together. We got to talk again because
you're gonna have to do a two three month I
always call it the Taylor Swift. You got to have
your pre sales. You got to you gotta get the
word out there and then and get people interested in it,
get it to your website, and let's grow forward. So
we've got we've got to get together and talk again
(30:38):
and then and then right before even before the retreat
or whatever, even afterwards. Then we can talk about what
you learned on that retreat. I just know that this
is such a positive place for you to be and
to grow forward.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
I would love to That would be so exciting. Yes, yes,
I'm all about before and after. So I'd love to
do that.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Yeah, because to me, that's what it's all about. Because
we all see the headlines, but we don't see the
story after the headlines.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
Yes, oh yeah, tell me about it. I totally understand that.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
So where can people go to find out more about you?
I mean to really find out more about you and
start planting some seeds for future fruit.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
The Ladybellator dot com so l A d Y B
E l l A t o R dot com. That's
one of them. The on Sideline Life is my podcast.
I'm on you know, I lean noise on Facebook, Instagram,
all the things you can find me.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
So yeah, i'd love I'd love to connect with these women.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
So so I'm glad you finally said your last name
because I sat here and I kept going to do
something about her last name, since something about her last
and because I mean, in reality, how many people live
in noise all the time? You do? That's your last name?
Speaker 2 (31:47):
Yes? Yeah? And you know then no, yes, that's so
obviously it's my husband's name. No, yes, because that's what
people to say.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
There's something significant about that, because it's like, no, make
a decision and stick with it.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
So, oh my god, you can do an entire lesson
just on that.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Oh man, oh man, oh man. Well you got to
come back anytime. The door is always going to be
open for you.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Thank you. It was my pleasure. I loved it. Well
you you you got my mind like I had to
be swift with you. I love it. It's total practice
for me.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
And I'm just sitting here listening to you. I swear
I didn't say anything you. I just picked up on
your vibe.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
Oh good, well good, I picked up on yours too.
You're like, I'm like he's he's a man version of me.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Will you be brilliant today?
Speaker 2 (32:40):
Okay, thank you so much er so nice having for
talking to you.
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