Vocal De Frag Episode 182 The Act Of Not Being Spoken To

My father always said, "Do not speak unless spoken to." That's how I've lived my life. I normally do not start the conversation. Not until I'm spoken to. Dad's rules! In this case Dad has been very very wrong.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's all about making a connection. Arrow dot net, a
r Oe dot net. I am a podcast listener that
just happens to have a podcast. So when I go
searching for things that I want to be entertained by,
I want to have the power of choice. Oh you do.
On ero dot net. There are seventeen podcasts to choose
from ae dot net. Enjoy your exploration. Heyes erow, And

(00:24):
this is vocal dfrag. Vocal dfragging is taking the time
to ask yourself the questions and question the answers. It
gives you that opportunity to get to know who you are.
So many times we find ourselves asking other people, Hey,
what do you think if I did this? What do
they know about you? They're not in your shoes, they're
not living your life, they're not in bed with you

(00:45):
while you're awake at two o'clock in the morning trying
to plan out the next event. You got to ask
yourself the questions and then question the answers. I've been
keeping aid dfrag journal since November of twenty seventeen, but
it had to graduate to a vocal d frag. And
the reason why is because pitch, volume and tone you

(01:07):
can't get an interpretation out of that like you can
with writing, and I can go back to that writing
anytime and sit there and say, hmm, I'll bet you
this is what he was going through during that particular season.
Whereas when you vocally do it in a digital device,
what happens is is you've got the emotion. This is
vocal d frag. Something hit me while stepping inside this

(01:28):
forest in South Charlotte today. I'm always thinking about what
is my team going to be like today? Who is
going to be on my team? Will this team gel?
How can we make sure that we play as a
team and not individuals? Questions like that, Just constantly asking
myself questions like that, because until I get there and

(01:51):
catch on to the atmosphere that was created before I
got there, I'm always locked in assumption. But what came
to me today while I entered this forest was maybe
I'm the one with the problem. What Yeah, Maybe I'm
the one because if I'm not spoken to, I'm not
speaking to you. That's always been my thing, and I

(02:13):
think that might be my father's thing, because you know,
he would always say, don't speak until you're spoken to.
Many how many fathers do you know? That I have
said that do not speak unless you are spoken to.
So if I'm not spoken too, then I'm not speaking
to you. And maybe what we all need to do
is look deeper into that and think about how we're

(02:35):
acting and reacting in other people's silence, when in fact,
we could be helping them out of their valleys, out
of their darkness, their corners in life, just by saying, Yo,
what's up? How are you doing today? You know, find
out more about the person's personal life without invading that life.

(02:55):
If I'm not spoken to, I'm not speaking to you.
We need to be the first to take that step
of a brand new beginning. We need to be the
one that opens the door for them to say, God,
I feel like I'm part of something. Wow, this person
does have a heart. They're not a cold son of
a bitch. So when someone doesn't speak to you, guess

(03:18):
what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna speak to you. You
have to learn how to ask the questions and question
the answers. I do not know how many pages I
have written on that I've talked about what is it
going to be like today? What happens if this happens?
I was writing a story before it even happens. And
today I heard in my heart while stepping aside this forest,

(03:42):
and I now share it with you. If I'm not
spoken to I'm not speaking to you. Is what we
did yesterday Today it's a brand new beginning. Ask yourself
the questions, question the answers. I call it vocal defragging. Hi,
Meryl