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June 23, 2025 8 mins
UnplugHow to Break Up with Your Phone and Reclaim Your Life
by Richard Simon 
But what does long term freedom from your phone really look like—and is it sustainable for people with… you know… jobs? In UNPLUG: How to Break Up with Your Phone and Reclaim Your Life (Workman; 6/17/25) Richard Simon shows that it is—through his own experience and many others’, including but not limited to: an anesthesiologist, a software engineer, a social media marketer, a school principal, a law partner, a financial analyst, a chess grandmaster, and a Major League Baseball player who credits dropping the phone with big improvements in both his game and his family life. 
Of course, professional commitments are just one piece of the puzzle. When Simon first decided to go phone-free for a year as an experiment, the toughest sell was his wife. What if one of the kids got sick, or she needed to reach him in an emergency? What about shared grocery lists, the banking app, and all the little ways that our smartphones seem to make family life run more smoothly? Spoiler alert: she came around to it. And like all the other subjects of this book, Simon reports that his personal relationships blossomed in the absence of screens. 
After a year of detox, Simon relaxed his personal smartphone ban, but still keeps his phone off by default. Almost all of the other subjects he profiled resumed their smartphone use in some capacity. Many were able to enforce the boundaries they set during the detox; others are back where they started. But there are valuable lessons to learn from

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning, Richard, how are you doing?

Speaker 2 (00:02):
Good morning, good great things so about yourself.

Speaker 3 (00:04):
Absolutely fantastic and very excited to share a conversation with
you because I mean, you are speaking the truth when
it comes to this book. And I have to ask you,
are you selling this book at airports, because I'll bet
you it would be a total sellout every single time.
This is what people read on airplanes.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
I'd have to talk to my publisher about that.

Speaker 3 (00:23):
Which airports Charlotte Douglas, which is what the fourth biggest
right now in the nation.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
That would be a great place.

Speaker 3 (00:33):
Cat did you get here? What was the breaking point?
Because I mean, I mean for someone to say, Okay,
I'm because I am sick of my phone. But the
problem is, though, is I use it for business and
I use it for you know, because I'm so inquisitive
that I've got to know everything.

Speaker 4 (00:47):
Yeah, what's started me on this journey was that I
was really, I'm sorry, We're terrible eco right now.

Speaker 2 (00:53):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
So this is definitely one reason why we need to
give up on these digital phones is because they're not
trustworthy in the way that it's it's causing a repeat
on your end.

Speaker 4 (01:02):
That's right, Yeah, this journey all started with me in
twenty nineteen. I was feeling so much strained from my phone.
The average American adult spends more than five hours a
day on their smartphones. I certainly was no exception, and
I just need to do something about it. So I
turned my smartphone off for an entire year and to
completely transform my life.

Speaker 3 (01:22):
That's exactly how you start the book off Tune, which
I thought was very interesting.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
That.

Speaker 3 (01:25):
I mean, the very first chapter is a year without
the smartphone, and then when you get into the other chapters,
all of a sudden, it's like, Okay, this is what
I did, but this is how I did it.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
So I love the way that you do that.

Speaker 3 (01:36):
You explain who you are, why you are, and then
go into the motions of correcting it.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
That's correct. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:43):
After I went through my process, I realized that there's
so many self help articles and books out.

Speaker 2 (01:47):
There that espouse hacks.

Speaker 4 (01:49):
And although hacks are noble, like deleting social media, taking
a digital stabbas, turning your phone to great scale, those
are very nice, but for a true behavioral addiction, it
doesn't go far enough.

Speaker 2 (01:59):
So I ended up viewing dozens of people who.

Speaker 4 (02:02):
Went through a smartphone reset by turning it off, and
four different breakup styles emerged, which I outlined in the
book that can help people on that path.

Speaker 3 (02:11):
One of the things that I've done to helped be
on that very journey that you're on, and it really is,
it's a tough journey, is the fact that I only
have certain times that I will read my emails. And
number two, I turned off the volume on the ringer
and because I want to be out there and I
don't want to be interrupted.

Speaker 4 (02:28):
Yeah, so that's that's fantastic if you're able to reduce
screen time that way. But what I've found is that
most people, even when they do those kinds of things,
if they have it in their pocket or they have
it on their desk, it's just far too alluring. It's irresistible,
that draw because each time you check your phone, dopamine

(02:48):
is released. Dopamine is the most one of the most
powerful molecules in the brain, and each time you tap
your phone, it releases dopamine, which is an incredibly pleasurable experience.
The average American tops their phone more than one hundred
and fifty.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
Times checks their phone. Yep. Yeah, And that's what about irresistible.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
It is.

Speaker 3 (03:07):
It's what's the weather, like, what's my bank account look
like right now?

Speaker 2 (03:10):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (03:10):
That's right, I have to pay this bill. Grab the phone.

Speaker 3 (03:12):
Grab the phone every time you turn around, and like
I said, I have to use it as my business phone.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
That's correct.

Speaker 4 (03:19):
And Y has someone if this is comforting for listeners.
Someone I interview in profile in a book. In the
book is one call antithesiologist at John Hopkins Hospital and
one of the top top research hospitals in the country.
And what he does, which shows how powerful it is,
is he has to have a work smartphone when he's
in the hospital. So he has a work smartphone, it's

(03:40):
issued by the hospital. But then when he's done with it,
he leaves it plugged into the office and he has
not a two way pager but a one way pager.
And he doesn't have a smartphone. He said, why would
I want to bring all that craziness as the smartphone
brings and bring it into my actual life. So if
you think that it's too difficult to do in terms
of turning off your smartphone, yes it is challenging. But

(04:00):
if an on call heantaseusiologist, and when the top research
hospolds can do it.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
You tend too.

Speaker 5 (04:05):
There is more with Richard Simon coming up next. The
name of the book is Unplugged. We're back with author
Richard Simon. Do you suggest that we quit with somebody else?
And I mean, there are a lot of single people
around maybe they should find a friend in the way
of saying, let's do this together as friends and let's
see how we change our lives.

Speaker 2 (04:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (04:26):
So the four breakup styles that I mentioned in the
book in terms of ways you can turn off your phone,
and that I think is one of the most.

Speaker 2 (04:31):
Powerful ones is that if you decide.

Speaker 4 (04:34):
You want to turn your smartphone off, do it with
someone else. In the book, I profile two couples who
did it together. And there's something so amazing about doing
something with someone else who you care about dearly because
there's an accountability factor, you have that built in support group.
I think that's something that's really really strong.

Speaker 1 (04:51):
So let me ask you a question.

Speaker 3 (04:53):
You being a major league baseball player, I mean, are
there players out there on the field that are carrying
their smartphones with them while they're playing the game.

Speaker 4 (05:01):
So I interview in profile a major league baseball player
in the book and he told me his teammates thinks
or they thought, that he was one hundred percent crazy.
I profiled Dick Costianos. He's a right fielder for the
Philadelphia Faillies.

Speaker 2 (05:16):
Yes, and Nick had one of the most transformative years
of his career when he.

Speaker 4 (05:21):
Turned his smartphone off in twenty twenty one, and after
he went through it, it really resets the reward pathways
in his brain. It recalibrated his system. So when he
eventually brought the smartphone back into his life, he felt
in control of it rather than it being control of him.

Speaker 3 (05:36):
With the breakup styles, one of the things that you
really jump into is simplifying your phone. Does that mean
don't go download another app and get rid of half
the ones that you got now you don't need them.

Speaker 4 (05:48):
No, it goes even further simplifying your phone. That approach
is turning off your smartphone and switching to a basic phone.

Speaker 2 (05:57):
Well, people know it's like flip phones. So you go
to actual.

Speaker 4 (06:00):
Physical at and T or a Verizon or T mobile store.
You get a basic phone, the most basic of basic,
just calling and texting, and you switch your SIM card over.
You still have the same phone number and you will
see you will get hours back every single day that
you didn't have before.

Speaker 3 (06:16):
Come on, but what's the withdrawal like, you had to
have gone through withdrawals.

Speaker 4 (06:20):
Yes, almost everyone I experienced I interviewed for the book,
including myself, went through withdrawal. That shows how much of
a behavioral addiction it is for some people to two
or three days of headaches, for some people can last
as long.

Speaker 2 (06:31):
As two to three weeks in terms of anxiety.

Speaker 4 (06:33):
But once you get passed that withdrawal phase, that's when
the difference starts because you all of a sudden realize
I have four to five hours extra free time. You
go through your preparation stage, you figure out how you're
going to fill that time, and that's where the lasting
change starts.

Speaker 1 (06:48):
My wife brought up a very interesting point.

Speaker 3 (06:50):
There are a lot of psychologists and psychotherapists that that
are making some money right now because kids are addicted
to their smartphones. And we've seen commercials that say, is
your child addicted, call this number right now, And it's like, what,
so are they reaching out to you saying calm down,
calm down, dude, Come on, this is my making money
right now.

Speaker 4 (07:09):
You know, for kids, this is a big, big issue,
and I think that there is serious momentum right now,
especially within school districts of keeping phones out, which is wonderful,
But that leads us to the next step, which is
what kind of behavior are we modeling as adults for
our kids. And that's where my book Unplug comes in, because.

Speaker 2 (07:30):
That's great you're in school and you're not using.

Speaker 4 (07:32):
A smartphone, But when you get back home or you
get into the car and your parent is looking down
on the screen at dinner or looking at us down
to the screen at carpool, what kind of example does
that set? So that's where I think this book comes in,
is that we need to model the right behavior for
our kids if we want to expect our kids to
be modeling the right behavior with their phone.

Speaker 3 (07:50):
Dude, I've been that guy that's been at a traffic
light that sat through a green light and the people
behind me were really pissed off.

Speaker 2 (07:58):
Oh yes, absolutely. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (08:01):
For driving, it's a scary thing. You're on the highway,
you look to your left, looks you're right, both people
are on their phone.

Speaker 2 (08:07):
Yep.

Speaker 4 (08:07):
Driving already was not the safest thing before smartphones came
into the picture, and now there are thousands of deaths
every year in this country due to distracted driving, so
it's a big problem.

Speaker 3 (08:16):
Wow, where can people go to find out more about
you and jump on your team?

Speaker 2 (08:21):
Sure?

Speaker 4 (08:22):
My book is called Unplug How to Break Up with
your Phone and Reclaim your Life.

Speaker 2 (08:26):
It's available at.

Speaker 4 (08:26):
All major booksellers Amazon, Target, Walmart, Barnes, and Noble, or
you can go to your independent bookstore to get a copy.

Speaker 3 (08:33):
Richard, you got to come back to this show anytime
in the future because I want to hear the rest
of your story in the way of how you continue
to be as strong as you are.

Speaker 2 (08:41):
Would be absolutely happy too. It's been great to be on.

Speaker 1 (08:43):
Will you be brilliant today? Okay, take care.

Speaker 2 (08:45):
Thank you again for having me.
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