August 20, 2025 • 46 mins
When life shifts unexpectedly—through divorce or the loss of a spouse—real estate decisions can become overwhelming. We will explore what happens when the person who once handled the home, vendors, & real estate logistics is suddenly gone. Our guest shares how his firm has become a lifeline for individuals facing this transition, and trusted guidance on everything from construction oversight to buying and selling homes.
Ask Good Questions is broadcast live Wednesdays at 6PM ET on W4CY Radio (www.w4cy.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Ask Good Questions is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
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Ask Good Questions is broadcast live Wednesdays at 6PM ET on W4CY Radio (www.w4cy.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Ask Good Questions is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
Ask Good Questions Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/ask-good-questions--6441735/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The topics and opinions expressed in the following show are
solely those of the hosts and their guests and not
those of W FOURCY Radio. It's employees are affiliates. We
make no recommendations or endorsements for radio show programs, services,
or products mentioned on air or on our web. No
liability explicit or implies shall be extended to W FOURCY
Radio or it's employees are affiliates. Any questions or comments
should be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for
(00:20):
choosing W FOURCY Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Welcome to to Ask Good Questions Podcasts, broadcasting live every Wednesday,
six pm Eastern Time on W four CY Radio at
w fourcy dot com. This week and every week, we
will reach for a higher purpose in money and life,
as well as a focus on health and wellness. Now,
(00:49):
let's join your host, Anita bell Anderson, as together we
start with Asking Good Questions.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Hello, this is Benita bell Anderson and welcome to the
Ask Good Questions podcast. I am so glad that you're
here today, and today we're going to be talking about
being divorced or being a widow, and real estate. Now
it may not apply to you right now, but listen not,
because who knows when it might apply to you in
(01:23):
the future. So I would love to welcome to the
proverbial podcast stage my guest for today Joe Pellegrino Benita.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
Hello, Hello, thank you for having me.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Thank you for joining me today. Joe is coming at
us from Maryland. I'm Anna Maryland, Nnapolis, Maryland, and I'm
coming at you from Hawaii. So we couldn't be further
apart in the United States. True, but technology is an
amazing thing.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Isn't it when it's working for me?
Speaker 3 (02:01):
So let you know, our time is always feels like
it's so short. So let me give you a little
bio about Joe. He empowers women to confidently manage their
real estate portfolios larger, small, specializing and helping those navigating
property management special responsibilities, sometimes for the first time. So
(02:23):
today we're going to be focusing on those who are
divorced or those that have lost their spouse. So he's
the co founder of Pantheon Group, and he's developed streamlined
systems that eliminate the overwhelm of managing properties. So I
want you to be thinking about the principles we're going
to talk about today, Whether you have more than one
(02:45):
or just one property that you know, you have a
spouse that manages, and you don't he The thing is
that this we want to make this so it's streamlined
for you and give you some good things and ask
some good questions about how to navigate this particular challenge.
He works alongside families across the United States, and he
(03:07):
and his team serve as trusted advisors, handling everything from
staff management to maintenance decisions, ensuring their clients can focus
on what matters most building their new chapter with confidence.
So this is one of those areas. I don't think, Joe,
that it really gets talked about much at all, do
you No.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
You know a lot of people going through divorces talk
a lot about financial independence, and I think the property
independence is overlooked. And we kind of came about this
just through dealing with friends and clients, and it has
become a separate consulting for the Pantheon Group to really
(03:51):
empower women who in the past hadn't had to deal
with the property management to be able to become successful
and become heroes in their own story doing so well.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Okay, let's let's kind of get in and discuss this
and dig into it a little bit. What what are
the first real estate related challenges that you think someone
typically faces after a divorce or after the loss of
the spouse.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
I think there's four main areas. It's vendor management, so
the folks working in your house. It's the finances of
the home, so you know, paying the bills and you know,
doing repairs and things like that. There's transactions, so buying
and selling. And then there's building a trusted team of advisors.
(04:42):
So you know there's legal and accounting problems that come
with all parts of divorce, but they also relate to
the property and so you should have trusted advisors in
real estate as well, so that could be real estate
agents and property managers like myself.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Wow, well why do you think? Why do you think
home related decisions often can feel so overwhelming during one
of these types of life transitions.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
You know, I listened to one of your episodes and
it was Rochelle Smith from April, and Rochelle is a
financial advisor, and she said something that really resonated with
me and I think it would resonate with your audience,
and that was that a lot of times women in
a divorce have a very emotional connection to the home.
(05:33):
You know, it's where there is their families, and they
often want to keep the home, but that may not
be in their best interest according to her. And you
also made a great comment you said that you know,
during your divorce that kind of came up and it
said that it made you angry and it made you
resent your student to be ex husband even more. So
(05:56):
you know, it can come up very early in this transition,
and I think it's important to start thinking about it
because it is a big element of most people's financial
you know, it's a there's too much.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
I know that a lot of times it's just too
much to think about. Well, do you have a story
of someone that you've helped who suddenly had to take
on this sort of thing.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
Sure, so, so the first client that we took on
in this sort of advisory capacity was a friend of
mine's family. He lives on my street. They have a
beautiful home and they actually have a guest house on
the property. And he passed away very suddenly in his sleep,
and his wife was now thrust into this role. And
(06:46):
they owned four homes and so her husband handled everything
property wise. He was very successful, obviously, and so he
was retired and this this was his kind of identity
or part of his identity or the relationship. And when
he died, this fell upon his wife and his son
(07:08):
in law, who son in law has a young family.
The wife doesn't want to be in the property management business.
So I said, you know, why don't I take over
the two properties here. You can help you. I can
help you find someone for the other properties. But it
was kind of an Aha moment because it was a
(07:29):
great example of how we can help people who It's
it's kind of a separate segment for us, but it's
an important one. And I think a lot of people
going through what is already a really tough time in
their life don't want to have to start thinking about
taking on new roles. You know, a lot of my
clients want to spend time with their children and their grandchildren,
(07:51):
and they don't want to spend time, you know, managing
the landscape, right.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
They don't necessarily want to. Well, you'll all, like, in
my divorce, I got a cabin that was very special
to all of us up in northern Idaho. But I
can remember the feelings of going in and feeling like
it was just overwhelming because all of a sudden, I
have to take care of everything. And it's like, huh yeah.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
I mean most people buy homes and second homes because
they want them for a specific purpose. Right. They want
to raise their children there, they want to entertain their
children and grandchildren there. So it's an asset, right, this
is supposed to enhance your life. But when it's a
role that you don't want, that asset becomes a liability,
(08:38):
and it's a liability that eats a lot of your time.
Most of my clients say they spend between two and
four hours a week on their property management, which that
really adds up quickly. And if you could put the
right systems in processes in place, our clients see a
reduction down to about an hour a week for property
(09:02):
if that and it's mostly reactive. So something broke, uh
you know, they'll send me a text and we'll figure
out how to fix it. So uh yeah, I mean
it's really about turning those liabilities back into assets.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
Right, Well, how do you think emotions like great for
stress or maybe maybe maybe the biggest one would be uncertainty?
How would that impact your decision making process?
Speaker 4 (09:29):
So I think you talk about the stress of owning
a property or multiple properties and having a new role
as as the property manager. Uh. The way we tend
to approach that and to reduce that stress is, well,
let's let's put some pen to paper here and let's
do a budget. Right, So first things first, let's look
(09:51):
at the finances and make sure that you know, we
have the financial means to maintain this property. Yeah, right,
And then let's look at some other stress factors like maintenance.
So let's make a list of our vendors and kind
of attach those vendors to assets. So who's going to
(10:12):
fix the refrigerator, who's going to fix the roof? If
we have a leak, who works on the generator? And
that way we have a list so that when something
goes wrong, we already know who we're going to call.
And then the other kind of element that we use
our checklists. So we like to do checklists for everything.
So seasonal checklist, Right, how do we get the house
(10:34):
ready for winter? How do we get the house ready
for storms? A lot of people, a lot of our
clients have houses in Florida and you know down south
in the Carolinas. Yeah, I mean we have Hurricane Andrew, right,
now on the East coast here, and so we do
a lot of storm prep and then storm repairs. So
(10:55):
what do you do after the storm? How do we
bring the house back? So those are the elements that
we focus on to reduce the stress of being in
this new role.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
Well, what do you think that the biggest mistakes are
the people make? They maybe they rush into some real
estate decision after a major life shift and do it
too quickly. What do you think the biggest mistakes are.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
So a lot of people think of property management, it
doesn't matter if you have one home or five. Most people,
especially first generation, well think of themselves as like, I'm
just a normal person, right, Like I don't need to
have staff for all of these things, and so they
try to manage these these elements themselves. So you know,
(11:42):
the thing I hear most is, well, I have a
guy for this, and I have my builder does that
for me. And so you have this odd ad hoc
solution that you think is saving you money, but it's
actually costing you a lot of time. And you know
time is all our most precious assets. So in the
(12:03):
long run, it ends up hurting you. So I think people, again,
if you take a step back to build a budget.
You start looking at how much time you either are
spending or anticipate spending on property management and think about, well,
maybe that's impacting your career or your relationships with others?
Can you outsource that? And it doesn't have to be,
(12:25):
you know, a full blown property management solution. It could
just be talking to some of your again, your trusted advisors,
on what can we do to make this better?
Speaker 3 (12:35):
I know some of the biggest mistakes I've made. You know,
here I am being a financial advisor, but I can
draw on the mistakes I've made in my life when
you're talking about those financial considerations like mortgage obligations or
property taxes, how.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
To WAT fees?
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Yeah, how do you think that all factors into a
big decision like this on what to do?
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Again? I think you have to really put pen to
paper and say, you know, just be really honest with yourself.
Do you are you budgeting properly to do the things
you want to do? And let's say, stay in the
house that used to be a marital asset and it's
now you know, it's it's a single asset. So if
you really look at your situation and again you're being
(13:23):
honest with yourself, like how much debt do you have
or you know, how much money do you have and saved?
And can you continue to live in the house that
you you have a very strong emotional attachment to.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Right when I started this podcast, I was asked, well,
what do you want to call it? And one of
the reasons, and one of the reasons that I call
this ask good Questions is because it was around real
estate questions, like right before two thousand and eight happened,
right right, and I had not asked some of those
(13:59):
good questions which got me into trouble, and it was
around different real estate things that I was involved in,
and so it was kind of a no brainer when
I started this, was like, I think there's a whole
bunch and it's really playing out to be a good
title because there's what you're basically saying is you need
to ask some good questions.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
Yeah, and I think you know, it's not just ask
the questions of let's say your attorney or your account
and it's your friends, your family, you know, siblings, children,
and just say hey, you know this seemed like, you know,
let's say, keeping the house is a priority to me.
Because you know, we raised you all there, or it's
(14:43):
in the neighborhood where my friends are and maybe selling
that asset, or maybe it's upgrading because you want to
be in a different neighborhood. You know, talk to your
friends and talk to your family and see what's important
to them, because they're also trusted advisors.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
Right, Well, so talk to me about how you feel.
I mean like this would be like the background of
your firm and what you provide. How do you think
your firm steps in to provide stability and clarity, because
that I feel like that would be where you'd have
to start.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
Yeah, I mean the way we got started was some
of my friends have been very successful, and I've watched
their real estate portfolios change from you know, a single
maybe a small apartment in Manhattan to a really you know,
a penthouse apartment in Manhattan, and then they start buying
vacation homes, and you know, again it goes back to
(15:41):
what they think of the cells as just normal guys
and I don't need to have someone who's doing all
of these things for me. But again, it's really impacting
their relationships and their time with their family and their
time with their friends. And so, you know, we looked
at the solution. My background is in corporate really state.
I worked in corporate real estate for twenty plus years
(16:03):
before moving into this, but it was c suite, so
you know, we were managing headquarters of fortune fifty companies
and I saw this kind of unfolding with my friends
and thought like, these are you know, like hyper organized
individuals who lead highly curated lives. You know, every minute
(16:25):
of their day is accounted for, and I just thought,
there's got to be a better way to deal with
their homes. And so I started digging into, well, how
are they doing it? And so they're doing some of
the work, and they have family offices or doing some
of the work, and their spouses are doing some of it,
and their personal assistants. And we took a step back,
(16:47):
my business partner and I and said, well, this is
not how you know, a Fortune fifty company would manage
their real estate. How would they do it? And so
we started kind of you know, let's see what works,
what doesn't work, Let's see what sticks. And so we
kind of pressure tested a few models and it took
(17:08):
about a year and a half. COVID hit and we thought,
you know, Nile's not the greatest time to be starting
a new company, especially the one that requires a lot
of travel and a lot of interaction. And so we
waited and once COVID you know, started to subside, we
we beta tested essentially with friends and family and found
(17:28):
what works and what doesn't work. And you know, it
was through that process that I started meeting. It was
two friends of my girlfriend, and then I mentioned my
my neighbor around the corner who my neighbor's a widow
and my The other two friends are going through or
(17:52):
had gone through divorces, and they started asking questions about,
you know, what do you think about this? Or I'm
thinking of buying a farmer in Florida? You know, can
you advise on that? So you know, their financial advisors
talk to them about can you afford this or not.
What what we come in and look at is does
(18:14):
it does it make sense with your lifestyle to try
to manage this property. So we can come in and say,
all right, you've had a building inspection done and we
know what needs to be fixed, but nobody is looking
at well, what will this cost you to run on
an annual basis? So we have a pretty pretty good
idea of what most types of properties run in all
(18:36):
the major markets we work in. So we could say,
all right, we know the pool pumps are broken and
that's going to cost you whatever five grand, but we
also see some other problems with you know, the roof
that in the next few years, it's going to have
to be replaced, and based on the climate where the
property is, you're going to have a lot of rot
(18:56):
that you should be budgeting X amount per per year
on those types of upgrades. You know, like we're on
the water here. Properties on the water, everything breaks in
like three times as fast I think.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
I think nature is always trying to take everything back.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
Yeah, it's it's constantly trying to reclaim things. Yeah, So
we look at that, and then we look at what's
your capital expenditure is going to look like in the
next let's say, three, five or seven years based on
you know, when the property was built. And after talking
through these types of things with these clients, they can
(19:37):
then go back to their financial advisors and make educated decisions.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
Yeah. I one of the things I've always done. You know,
I've been a financial advisor for about twenty five years,
and one thing that I started really getting into more
and more and more was purpose. And so I feel
like what you're saying is that you really need to
start for what your purpose is. I just had a
(20:02):
dear friend, a couple that I've known ever since college,
and the husband just died from prostate cancer, gone crazy.
And I've had people asking me, well, are they gonna
is she going to keep the They have a house
in the suburbs like kind of like almost you know,
more rule really and it's like that's going to be
(20:25):
way too much and so and so that's the kind
of situation where don't you think that you need to
step back and say, I've stepped through a door. I've
got a new life. I've got to create a new life.
I have to rethink my priorities in life. Right, don't
you think like that's where you have to start, because.
Speaker 4 (20:47):
It's a great point. I know, what is your purpose?
Is your purpose? Philanthropy is your purpose? Spending time with
your grandchildren. Maybe your purposes travel, in which case it
doesn't make sense to have a lot of money tied
up in a property. My business, my business partner loves
to cruise, and so he spends you know, thirty days
(21:11):
a year cruising, and you know, he decided, well, how
big of a house do I need if if I'm
going to be if I want to continue to do that.
So it's a great point, like what is your purpose?
And then I think you can back into you know,
these property decisions. You know the client that I mentioned
(21:32):
who was looking at the farm in Florida, her purpose
is she she's into equestrian and she has a dog
rescue and so her divorce left her in a position
where she doesn't have to work every day, but you know,
she has to fill her day and so she has
a couple of horses. She does just a small number
(21:53):
of fosters and adoptions per year. She does a lot
of placement, and so it made sense for her to
look for a bigger farm in Florida. I mean it's
it's a farm. It's not tremendous, but it's still a
pretty you know, it's it's not an inexpensive place to maintain.
Anytime you add horses or I've done bath horses.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
I love horses, but they're like the they're like the sailboat. Yeah, yeah,
there's something you put money into. In the most cases, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (22:26):
It's a big fiberglass hole in the water that you
throw money.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Yeah, so so do you divide up you're your services
or support beyond like buying, so you also are doing
some buying and selling and helping people do.
Speaker 4 (22:45):
That, or you hand or advisory. I mean I I
really I only charge my travel for my existing clients
when when they are considering a new property, maybe it's
in a new market, maybe looking for a skihouse or
a b house, and and so that's that's just advisory
work for existing clients. I think for for your audience,
(23:08):
you know, if someone was going through a messy divorce,
either has some assets in real estate that that they're
looking for some advice on, you know, I'd be happy
to jump on a call and look at some pictures
of the property and talk through what their goals are
and what their purposes and you know, figure out what
(23:29):
should their strategy be. I mean, I'm happy to talk
to their attorney or their financial advisor and and see
what sort of uh, you know, questions they may have. Also.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
Yeah, well that's that's a good point. There's a little
thing of scrolling along the bottom the podcast website. On
the podcast website is bonus downloads and so I will
be posting a little info thing about Joe and how
to find him. So that's great. That is, you know,
(24:04):
you never know. I mean, I'd love to help.
Speaker 4 (24:07):
Give you a brochure so that people could see a
little bit more about what we do, right, and I'm
happy to give my email address and a link to
our website and they can learn a little bit more
about our background and what we do. I mean, our
bread and butter is property management for families that have
you know, between two and five homes. But I think
(24:29):
that this is an important thing to talk about. My
parents went through a divorce when I was in my
twenties early twenties, and so I saw firsthand my mom
going from you know, she was the homemaker. I have
four siblings, so she ran the home, but my dad
(24:50):
ran the property. So you know, when she sold the
house that I grew up in and bought a house
around the corner, she had a lot of questions. And
so being in the property business, my brother's an attorney,
my sister's an account and we all kind of came
together and said, okay, yeah, we're the support team here.
But you know, it was it was definitely a learning experience,
(25:12):
and so I had that kind of aha moment when
when my neighbor passed away and saw what his wife
was going through and said, look, you know, you probably
don't want to pay for my type of service, nor
do I I necessarily think you need it, But why
don't you put your properties on our software that doesn't
(25:33):
cost us anything? And you know we can look at, well,
where do you need help or where do you want
to spend your time? And really she doesn't want much
to do with the property management, so we take care
of it. It's on my street. I walked by, I
walk my dog by it two three times a day,
so you know it's I enjoy doing that. But I'm
(25:54):
also happy to talk to any of your audience and
kind of chat through with their child jazz are and see.
You know, maybe I'm not the best person to make
those recommendations for them, or maybe I'm not the right
person if they're looking for a property manager to manage
their properties. But you know, we know other people in
(26:14):
the industry. It's actually a pretty small industry. We're constantly
bumping into each other in events, so I can make
plenty of recommendation for people in almost any market in
the US awesome.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
Well, how important do you think I mean, do you
think people should just say, oh, I'll take care of
that someday, or do you think it's important to have
trusted vendors and contractors that are already lined up. You
kind of started out talking about that, but I mean
some people might say I'll deal with that later.
Speaker 4 (26:44):
I mean it depends on the property. Banina, I would say,
if it's a complex property, I wouldn't wait until later.
I think it depends on where the property is. So
if you're in an area that gets a lot of
hurricanes or tornadoes or earthquakes, but I don't think you
want to wait. I mean a lot of our clients
with who are in those types of areas where let's
(27:05):
say you need fuel for a generator to keep the
house running. You line that up ahead of time, and
you put the field delivery companies on a retainer so
that you know when there's an event. You know, after
schools and hospitals and fire and police departments. I'm pretty
high on the next tier of people to get fuel
when we need it, So I think it's important to
(27:26):
do that ahead of time. I mean, do you need
to have a vendor in place to clean your couches
sort of, you know, do little things around the house.
I think you do that as needed. But you know,
you want a roofer, you want a good plumber, you know,
all the trades are hard to really get people who
are good and who will actually come when they say
(27:48):
they will when you call. So yeah, I think as
the principal property manager, you should be thinking about those things.
It's you know why I recommend you do a list
and actually tie the vendor to the major assets in
the house. That way, you know, when something does go wrong,
you're not scrambling trying to find someone who would do it.
It's just it's good to have those people at place.
(28:11):
A good handyman is like completely uh worth.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Yeah, well, let's talk a little bit about navigating key decisions.
So how do you help clients decide when to keep?
I mean, let's talk about you know, like my friend
who's just lost her husband, how do you just so
where do you start when you have when you have
to decide whether to keep the family home, sell it
(28:39):
or downsize?
Speaker 4 (28:40):
Uh So, that I think is more of a financial decision,
and I think we support the advisors who are are
making those recommendations right. So it could be a matter
of can I afford this, It could be a matter
of should I continue to keep this house. That's not
(29:00):
really what we do. We're more focused on, Okay, you've
made the decision, let us help you guide. Let us
guide you through the transaction. So you know, maybe you
need a realtor in a specific market, maybe you need
you have a realtor. They've identified, you know, a new
(29:21):
property for you, or they've given you a range of
what they think they can sell a property for. You
can bounce that off us. I mean, we spend so
much time with clients buying and selling. We can tell
if I mean, the market will speak no matter what,
but if if a lot of a lot of times.
I'm not disparaging realtors, but in order to get a
(29:44):
new client in a market where maybe the client doesn't
know other people, they'll say I can get five million
dollars for a house that you know, there's no way
they're going to get five million dollars for. But they're
you know, now, they're kind of embedded. So we can
make some recommendations on who we know in certain markets.
We could look at listing agreements and talk through that
(30:06):
with their attorneys and see if that makes sense. But
those are big decisions, and I think the more people
that you can bring in to advise you, the better
off you'll be, and maybe the better you'll feel at
the end of the process or transaction that you know
you made the right decision.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
Well, I'm hoping that as we've been discussing that the
people are making some notes on what applies best to them.
But what do you think are some warning signs that
someone may be in over their head trying to manage
these responsibilities alone.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
Well, alone's probably the key word. I mean, you shouldn't
be doing these things alone. I mean I assume if
you're going through a divorce or you've gone through a divorce,
you have an attorney and they may not be a
real estate attorney, but you should be asking them. You know,
who can I talk to about these types of things?
Same things with an accountant, uh, you know, looking at
(31:06):
your finances or financial advisor. What sort of assets do
I have? How liquid am I? What is my plan
for the rest of my life from a retirement, retirement
or career perspective? And then the real estate tends to
plug into all of that, right, so you know, here's
(31:27):
the reality of your future and what what can you afford?
And what what do you want to try to afford? Again?
Speaker 3 (31:35):
What are your purpose?
Speaker 4 (31:37):
Yeah, what's your purpose? What are your priorities? And you know,
what do you want to make work? So it's it's
these are big decisions, and I think the more people
you could talk to, the more comfortably you feel making
the choices. And then after not having you know, buyers
or remorse or sellers remorse or renter's remorse.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
Right, well, how would you how would you answer balancing
I'm just wondering, you know, maybe another story would be
good here, Joe, like balancing compassion and professionalism when working
with clients who are grieving. You know, I'm just thinking
(32:19):
sometimes people are kind of like off the rails for
a while.
Speaker 4 (32:23):
Sure, sure, I mean these are emotional times, and so
compassion and empathy are probably the most important traits you
can have as an advisor. But I think you have
to also be honest, right, you know, I understand you're
going through in a very emotional time, but uh, you know,
you go back to what Rachee was saying about the
(32:47):
family home and wanting to keep it because the children
grow up there or the children are growing up there,
and you know, you don't want to make a life changing,
bad decision based on emotion. I think you need people
who can take a step back and say, all right,
I know you want the family home. How are you
(33:08):
going to structure the divorce or your finances so that
you can maintain that and maintain and you know, continue
to live there comfortably and not be How's poor? Right?
So those are all things to consider. You know, what
what is your mental state maybe? And who can I
talk to who could maybe give a little more clarity
(33:31):
to the situation. So you know, I'm a real estate advisor,
but at times I feel like I'm a therapist as well.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
I have actually had people sitting in my office. I
can remember different times when people have said, are you
sure you're not a therapist? You know, because you are.
You're getting into people's lives and what's important, and it's intimate.
Speaker 4 (33:55):
You know, you're in intimate spaces in their homes. You're
you're where you know they entertain their closest friends. You're
where their children play or where they play with their dog,
or where they're with their spouse. And significant others. So
it's very intimate. I mean, we we meet with a
lot of people, and because of what we do is
so intimate, you know, we're very cautious about who we
(34:18):
take on as a client because you know, it's it's
the twenty percent of the clients could take up eighty
percent of your time, and so you really we spend
a lot of time talking to people about, you know,
what their goals are, We meet with they have staff,
we meet with their staff or see them interacting with
people that are within their orbit. And you know, not
(34:40):
everyone is a good client.
Speaker 3 (34:43):
Well let's let's kind of like let's look ahead for
let's all, somebody's gone through this big transition. How can
that those those family members, the friends I'm thinking of,
those people that are watching somebody go through this. How
can families are for AND's best support someone that's navigating
(35:03):
those home and real estate decisions.
Speaker 4 (35:06):
Yeah, I think there's a couple aspects. I mean, if
you've made the real estate decisions, the best types of
vendor referrals usually come from your friends and family, right,
you know, the person shows up when he or she
says she will, and you know they're honest. If they're organized,
(35:28):
they're clean, right. You know, the first litanus test I
look at when I meet a new vendor is what
does the van look like? Or what does the truck
look like? If it beat up at a mess and
there's you know, rappers all over the place, you know,
I can't send that person to a client's property. And
(35:51):
you know, for for us, for our big clients, I
want to meet the principal from the vendors that I'm
sending it, right, So I want to meet the owner.
I'll take you out to lunch or meet you for
a cup of coffee, or I'll bring coffee to your office.
But again, I want to meet you. I want to
see the whites your eyes and see you know, are
(36:14):
you going to do what you say you're going to do.
So you know that the best referrals are from people
that you trust, and you know that that goes for trades,
but it also goes for finding a trust worthy attorney,
finding a trustworthy accountant. Yeah, I mean, I I we're
(36:34):
in Annapolis now, but I live in d C. And
it's like took me forever to find a new dentist
when my dentist retirement, and it took me forever to
find a new accountant when my accountant retired, and I
tried a couple and then if you didn't work out,
so you know, I called my sisters and I called
my brother and I said, who do you recommend? And
you know, it's it's tough to find good people. And
(36:55):
it doesn't matter what industry are, and it's tough to
find good people.
Speaker 3 (36:59):
When I got to Hawaii, I I you know, I
was likewise having to set up all these new resources
for doing different things. One of them was getting a pedicure.
And the funny thing is I went to church and
I looked around at different ladies and looked at who
had the best pedicure. That's the gal that I asked.
(37:22):
But I mean, it's true. It can comply to anything
that you're doing well. You know, time always goes so fast. Okay,
I'm going to ask you this. How can someone prepare
themselves so they know that, like maybe they know that
there's a terminal disease that's going to take their spouse.
How can someone prepare themselves or their family in advance
(37:46):
for those unexpected life changes or even when they know
that something's coming down the pike. What would you say
would be the best way to go? Okay, I know
this is going to happen. How should they prepare? Yeah,
I mean we're doing all those things we've been talking about.
Speaker 4 (38:03):
Yeah, let's yet, there's the emotional aspect, so again talking
to your friends and family. You know, I know this
event is coming and it's unavoidable. Here here is what
keeps me up at night, and then write it down.
I'm a list person. I have to write lists and
(38:25):
like dates and appointments. If they're not on a calendar,
they're not real. But you know, like this morning, almost
every morning I wake up and I make what my
days to do list is. But in stressful situations, I
like to think about, well, what is stressing me? And
like what are the specifics of what's stressing me? So
you know, in the scenario you you said a loved
(38:50):
one is dying, there's a terminal illness. Well, okay, obviously
I'm very upset about this loss that is coming. But
what specifically is making me anxious? So it's could be
the finances. Well, who can I talk to? I can
talk to I don't know, maybe my children, or my
(39:11):
financial advisor or my accountant and say I'm very anxious
about my finances and you can look at, well, here's
where you are. Maybe you need to change your investment
portfolio or a strategy, or maybe you do need to downsize,
like you're not going to be able to continue to
(39:32):
drive a Mercedes or have a second home. Let's address
what's stressing you, and from a real estate perspective, it
could be I'm not going to be comfortable maintaining this
home or these homes. Okay, why what is it? The money?
Is it the time? Is it the travel? I know
(39:54):
it could be just the the unexpected. I don't know
what is stressing me about it, So you know, we
could talk through let's think about what the model is
that would alleviate this stress in your life. And you
could do that well ahead of time, right Like the
longer runway you have on that, the more options you
(40:17):
have at the end.
Speaker 3 (40:19):
Most of the time, I've felt like the more you
can do beforehand, the easier it's going to be. I mean,
it's not never easy, but it's going to be a
little bit more streamlined. If if maybe that the person
that knows that their terminal can work, you know, they
can work together, and I think that is always helpful
(40:41):
to do it.
Speaker 4 (40:41):
And also I think that Okay, you have this terrible
event that you know is happening, and you don't want
to focus on it on the ancillary things. But if
you could get the ancillary things out of the way
towards the end, you'd get to spend more time with
you know this person instead of at the end scrambling
(41:03):
to try and put solutions in place or try to
make hard decisions. And maybe that extra time with your
significant other you could talk through some of those decisions
and maybe he or she would have some thoughts as well.
Speaker 3 (41:18):
Right, right, Well, what do you think we need to
start wrapping up? Unbelief? It's always unbelievable to me. It
goes so fast. What's the most rewarding part do you
think it's been for you, Joe, with helping people through
these transitions?
Speaker 4 (41:32):
Yeah, I really enjoy kind of what we talked about,
which is alleviating the stress and what we call it
reducing your your time to near zero, managing your properties
and helping you feel enabled to run the properties, helping
you feel enabled to foster good decisions and have the
(41:59):
right people and place to help you guide help guide
you to those right decisions. So I like the empowerment
element of it that you know this thing that uh
before was scary uh and the unknown and helping put
solutions in place where people can say, like, oh, I
can you know, spend time with my grandchildren? All right,
(42:21):
I can't spend time uh you know, riding horses and
dealing with people's uh you know, lost pets and and
uh you know that's very rewarding. I also, I like
when my clients go on vacation to these beautiful properties
and come back and I say, how was it in there? Like, yeah,
(42:43):
it's good to be home, you know, Like I like
coming home that that to me is is always a
lot of fun.
Speaker 3 (42:50):
Well, our time is almost over. So what would be
one piece of advice if you could? You know, can
you wrap this all up as to what would be
the one use of advice to someone listening who might
be facing this type of situation?
Speaker 4 (43:06):
Sure? So if if if you have uncertainty in your
life or you know, stress around some impending event, and
some of that centers around real estate, I would encourage
them to really reach out to either myself or someone
else that that they trust to help them make the
(43:28):
right decisions help alleviate the stress that uh you know
they're they're going through, and uh yeah, I always ask
for help, right, you know. You great people always surround
themselves by with great people.
Speaker 3 (43:45):
And sometimes I think maybe the last thing I might
say is when people say, oh, I can't do this,
I can't do that, I'm always saying, no, turn it around,
how can you you know, you know what, what could
you do that would right? You know?
Speaker 4 (44:01):
And it's kind of like rich rich dad, poor dad.
When people say I can afford something, that's just a
lazy that's a lazy answer. It's you can afford almost
anything you want to do. And I don't necessarily mean
just financially afford. You know. It could be exercise, like
I don't have enough time to exercise. Well, someone busier
(44:21):
than you found time today to exercise. So so saying
you can't afford to do something is usually a lazy
answer to to a question. It's it's I don't want
to have to work hard to do something. So I
think that book. I read it forever ago, and I
still think of it really like very often, me too.
Speaker 3 (44:45):
Yeah, well, Joe, thank you so much for joining me today.
Speaker 4 (44:49):
Thank you so much. I appreciate you having me. It's
been wonderful.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
Well it is, you know, it's something that in one
way are shape or another. This is going to hit
all of us right eventually, it is. It just will.
So thank you so much. People will be able to
find more information about Joe on the podcast bonus downloads area.
(45:14):
And so with that, thank you so much Joe for
joining us, and thank you for joining the Ask Good
Questions podcast.
Speaker 4 (45:21):
Thank you, Anita, have a great day, gay bye bye.
Speaker 2 (45:27):
Today's episode is over. But we did ask Good Questions again,
didn't We don't miss out as we broadcast live every
Wednesday six pm Eastern Time on W four CY Radio
at w four cy dot com. Joined Nina Bellmerson next
week for more conversations with experts on finances, retirement, behavioral
(45:48):
finance issues, health and wellness, and more. Until then, remember
to ask good questions
The topics and opinions expressed in the following show are
solely those of the hosts and their guests and not
those of W FOURCY Radio. It's employees are affiliates. We
make no recommendations or endorsements for radio show programs, services,
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(00:20):
choosing W FOURCY Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Welcome to to Ask Good Questions Podcasts, broadcasting live every Wednesday,
six pm Eastern Time on W four CY Radio at
w fourcy dot com. This week and every week, we
will reach for a higher purpose in money and life,
as well as a focus on health and wellness. Now,
(00:49):
let's join your host, Anita bell Anderson, as together we
start with Asking Good Questions.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Hello, this is Benita bell Anderson and welcome to the
Ask Good Questions podcast. I am so glad that you're
here today, and today we're going to be talking about
being divorced or being a widow, and real estate. Now
it may not apply to you right now, but listen not,
because who knows when it might apply to you in
(01:23):
the future. So I would love to welcome to the
proverbial podcast stage my guest for today Joe Pellegrino Benita.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
Hello, Hello, thank you for having me.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Thank you for joining me today. Joe is coming at
us from Maryland. I'm Anna Maryland, Nnapolis, Maryland, and I'm
coming at you from Hawaii. So we couldn't be further
apart in the United States. True, but technology is an
amazing thing.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Isn't it when it's working for me?
Speaker 3 (02:01):
So let you know, our time is always feels like
it's so short. So let me give you a little
bio about Joe. He empowers women to confidently manage their
real estate portfolios larger, small, specializing and helping those navigating
property management special responsibilities, sometimes for the first time. So
(02:23):
today we're going to be focusing on those who are
divorced or those that have lost their spouse. So he's
the co founder of Pantheon Group, and he's developed streamlined
systems that eliminate the overwhelm of managing properties. So I
want you to be thinking about the principles we're going
to talk about today, Whether you have more than one
(02:45):
or just one property that you know, you have a
spouse that manages, and you don't he The thing is
that this we want to make this so it's streamlined
for you and give you some good things and ask
some good questions about how to navigate this particular challenge.
He works alongside families across the United States, and he
(03:07):
and his team serve as trusted advisors, handling everything from
staff management to maintenance decisions, ensuring their clients can focus
on what matters most building their new chapter with confidence.
So this is one of those areas. I don't think, Joe,
that it really gets talked about much at all, do
you No.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
You know a lot of people going through divorces talk
a lot about financial independence, and I think the property
independence is overlooked. And we kind of came about this
just through dealing with friends and clients, and it has
become a separate consulting for the Pantheon Group to really
(03:51):
empower women who in the past hadn't had to deal
with the property management to be able to become successful
and become heroes in their own story doing so well.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Okay, let's let's kind of get in and discuss this
and dig into it a little bit. What what are
the first real estate related challenges that you think someone
typically faces after a divorce or after the loss of
the spouse.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
I think there's four main areas. It's vendor management, so
the folks working in your house. It's the finances of
the home, so you know, paying the bills and you know,
doing repairs and things like that. There's transactions, so buying
and selling. And then there's building a trusted team of advisors.
(04:42):
So you know there's legal and accounting problems that come
with all parts of divorce, but they also relate to
the property and so you should have trusted advisors in
real estate as well, so that could be real estate
agents and property managers like myself.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Wow, well why do you think? Why do you think
home related decisions often can feel so overwhelming during one
of these types of life transitions.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
You know, I listened to one of your episodes and
it was Rochelle Smith from April, and Rochelle is a
financial advisor, and she said something that really resonated with
me and I think it would resonate with your audience,
and that was that a lot of times women in
a divorce have a very emotional connection to the home.
(05:33):
You know, it's where there is their families, and they
often want to keep the home, but that may not
be in their best interest according to her. And you
also made a great comment you said that you know,
during your divorce that kind of came up and it
said that it made you angry and it made you
resent your student to be ex husband even more. So
(05:56):
you know, it can come up very early in this transition,
and I think it's important to start thinking about it
because it is a big element of most people's financial
you know, it's a there's too much.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
I know that a lot of times it's just too
much to think about. Well, do you have a story
of someone that you've helped who suddenly had to take
on this sort of thing.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
Sure, so, so the first client that we took on
in this sort of advisory capacity was a friend of
mine's family. He lives on my street. They have a
beautiful home and they actually have a guest house on
the property. And he passed away very suddenly in his sleep,
and his wife was now thrust into this role. And
(06:46):
they owned four homes and so her husband handled everything
property wise. He was very successful, obviously, and so he
was retired and this this was his kind of identity
or part of his identity or the relationship. And when
he died, this fell upon his wife and his son
(07:08):
in law, who son in law has a young family.
The wife doesn't want to be in the property management business.
So I said, you know, why don't I take over
the two properties here. You can help you. I can
help you find someone for the other properties. But it
was kind of an Aha moment because it was a
(07:29):
great example of how we can help people who It's
it's kind of a separate segment for us, but it's
an important one. And I think a lot of people
going through what is already a really tough time in
their life don't want to have to start thinking about
taking on new roles. You know, a lot of my
clients want to spend time with their children and their grandchildren,
(07:51):
and they don't want to spend time, you know, managing
the landscape, right.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
They don't necessarily want to. Well, you'll all, like, in
my divorce, I got a cabin that was very special
to all of us up in northern Idaho. But I
can remember the feelings of going in and feeling like
it was just overwhelming because all of a sudden, I
have to take care of everything. And it's like, huh yeah.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
I mean most people buy homes and second homes because
they want them for a specific purpose. Right. They want
to raise their children there, they want to entertain their
children and grandchildren there. So it's an asset, right, this
is supposed to enhance your life. But when it's a
role that you don't want, that asset becomes a liability,
(08:38):
and it's a liability that eats a lot of your time.
Most of my clients say they spend between two and
four hours a week on their property management, which that
really adds up quickly. And if you could put the
right systems in processes in place, our clients see a
reduction down to about an hour a week for property
(09:02):
if that and it's mostly reactive. So something broke, uh
you know, they'll send me a text and we'll figure
out how to fix it. So uh yeah, I mean
it's really about turning those liabilities back into assets.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
Right, Well, how do you think emotions like great for
stress or maybe maybe maybe the biggest one would be uncertainty?
How would that impact your decision making process?
Speaker 4 (09:29):
So I think you talk about the stress of owning
a property or multiple properties and having a new role
as as the property manager. Uh. The way we tend
to approach that and to reduce that stress is, well,
let's let's put some pen to paper here and let's
do a budget. Right, So first things first, let's look
(09:51):
at the finances and make sure that you know, we
have the financial means to maintain this property. Yeah, right,
And then let's look at some other stress factors like maintenance.
So let's make a list of our vendors and kind
of attach those vendors to assets. So who's going to
(10:12):
fix the refrigerator, who's going to fix the roof? If
we have a leak, who works on the generator? And
that way we have a list so that when something
goes wrong, we already know who we're going to call.
And then the other kind of element that we use
our checklists. So we like to do checklists for everything.
So seasonal checklist, Right, how do we get the house
(10:34):
ready for winter? How do we get the house ready
for storms? A lot of people, a lot of our
clients have houses in Florida and you know down south
in the Carolinas. Yeah, I mean we have Hurricane Andrew, right,
now on the East coast here, and so we do
a lot of storm prep and then storm repairs. So
(10:55):
what do you do after the storm? How do we
bring the house back? So those are the elements that
we focus on to reduce the stress of being in
this new role.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
Well, what do you think that the biggest mistakes are
the people make? They maybe they rush into some real
estate decision after a major life shift and do it
too quickly. What do you think the biggest mistakes are.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
So a lot of people think of property management, it
doesn't matter if you have one home or five. Most people,
especially first generation, well think of themselves as like, I'm
just a normal person, right, Like I don't need to
have staff for all of these things, and so they
try to manage these these elements themselves. So you know,
(11:42):
the thing I hear most is, well, I have a
guy for this, and I have my builder does that
for me. And so you have this odd ad hoc
solution that you think is saving you money, but it's
actually costing you a lot of time. And you know
time is all our most precious assets. So in the
(12:03):
long run, it ends up hurting you. So I think people, again,
if you take a step back to build a budget.
You start looking at how much time you either are
spending or anticipate spending on property management and think about, well,
maybe that's impacting your career or your relationships with others?
Can you outsource that? And it doesn't have to be,
(12:25):
you know, a full blown property management solution. It could
just be talking to some of your again, your trusted advisors,
on what can we do to make this better?
Speaker 3 (12:35):
I know some of the biggest mistakes I've made. You know,
here I am being a financial advisor, but I can
draw on the mistakes I've made in my life when
you're talking about those financial considerations like mortgage obligations or
property taxes, how.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
To WAT fees?
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Yeah, how do you think that all factors into a
big decision like this on what to do?
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Again? I think you have to really put pen to
paper and say, you know, just be really honest with yourself.
Do you are you budgeting properly to do the things
you want to do? And let's say, stay in the
house that used to be a marital asset and it's
now you know, it's it's a single asset. So if
you really look at your situation and again you're being
(13:23):
honest with yourself, like how much debt do you have
or you know, how much money do you have and saved?
And can you continue to live in the house that
you you have a very strong emotional attachment to.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Right when I started this podcast, I was asked, well,
what do you want to call it? And one of
the reasons, and one of the reasons that I call
this ask good Questions is because it was around real
estate questions, like right before two thousand and eight happened,
right right, and I had not asked some of those
(13:59):
good questions which got me into trouble, and it was
around different real estate things that I was involved in,
and so it was kind of a no brainer when
I started this, was like, I think there's a whole
bunch and it's really playing out to be a good
title because there's what you're basically saying is you need
to ask some good questions.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
Yeah, and I think you know, it's not just ask
the questions of let's say your attorney or your account
and it's your friends, your family, you know, siblings, children,
and just say hey, you know this seemed like, you know,
let's say, keeping the house is a priority to me.
Because you know, we raised you all there, or it's
(14:43):
in the neighborhood where my friends are and maybe selling
that asset, or maybe it's upgrading because you want to
be in a different neighborhood. You know, talk to your
friends and talk to your family and see what's important
to them, because they're also trusted advisors.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
Right, Well, so talk to me about how you feel.
I mean like this would be like the background of
your firm and what you provide. How do you think
your firm steps in to provide stability and clarity, because
that I feel like that would be where you'd have
to start.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
Yeah, I mean the way we got started was some
of my friends have been very successful, and I've watched
their real estate portfolios change from you know, a single
maybe a small apartment in Manhattan to a really you know,
a penthouse apartment in Manhattan, and then they start buying
vacation homes, and you know, again it goes back to
(15:41):
what they think of the cells as just normal guys
and I don't need to have someone who's doing all
of these things for me. But again, it's really impacting
their relationships and their time with their family and their
time with their friends. And so, you know, we looked
at the solution. My background is in corporate really state.
I worked in corporate real estate for twenty plus years
(16:03):
before moving into this, but it was c suite, so
you know, we were managing headquarters of fortune fifty companies
and I saw this kind of unfolding with my friends
and thought like, these are you know, like hyper organized
individuals who lead highly curated lives. You know, every minute
(16:25):
of their day is accounted for, and I just thought,
there's got to be a better way to deal with
their homes. And so I started digging into, well, how
are they doing it? And so they're doing some of
the work, and they have family offices or doing some
of the work, and their spouses are doing some of it,
and their personal assistants. And we took a step back,
(16:47):
my business partner and I and said, well, this is
not how you know, a Fortune fifty company would manage
their real estate. How would they do it? And so
we started kind of you know, let's see what works,
what doesn't work, Let's see what sticks. And so we
kind of pressure tested a few models and it took
(17:08):
about a year and a half. COVID hit and we thought,
you know, Nile's not the greatest time to be starting
a new company, especially the one that requires a lot
of travel and a lot of interaction. And so we
waited and once COVID you know, started to subside, we
we beta tested essentially with friends and family and found
(17:28):
what works and what doesn't work. And you know, it
was through that process that I started meeting. It was
two friends of my girlfriend, and then I mentioned my
my neighbor around the corner who my neighbor's a widow
and my The other two friends are going through or
(17:52):
had gone through divorces, and they started asking questions about,
you know, what do you think about this? Or I'm
thinking of buying a farmer in Florida? You know, can
you advise on that? So you know, their financial advisors
talk to them about can you afford this or not.
What what we come in and look at is does
(18:14):
it does it make sense with your lifestyle to try
to manage this property. So we can come in and say,
all right, you've had a building inspection done and we
know what needs to be fixed, but nobody is looking
at well, what will this cost you to run on
an annual basis? So we have a pretty pretty good
idea of what most types of properties run in all
(18:36):
the major markets we work in. So we could say,
all right, we know the pool pumps are broken and
that's going to cost you whatever five grand, but we
also see some other problems with you know, the roof
that in the next few years, it's going to have
to be replaced, and based on the climate where the
property is, you're going to have a lot of rot
(18:56):
that you should be budgeting X amount per per year
on those types of upgrades. You know, like we're on
the water here. Properties on the water, everything breaks in
like three times as fast I think.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
I think nature is always trying to take everything back.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
Yeah, it's it's constantly trying to reclaim things. Yeah, So
we look at that, and then we look at what's
your capital expenditure is going to look like in the
next let's say, three, five or seven years based on
you know, when the property was built. And after talking
through these types of things with these clients, they can
(19:37):
then go back to their financial advisors and make educated decisions.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
Yeah. I one of the things I've always done. You know,
I've been a financial advisor for about twenty five years,
and one thing that I started really getting into more
and more and more was purpose. And so I feel
like what you're saying is that you really need to
start for what your purpose is. I just had a
(20:02):
dear friend, a couple that I've known ever since college,
and the husband just died from prostate cancer, gone crazy.
And I've had people asking me, well, are they gonna
is she going to keep the They have a house
in the suburbs like kind of like almost you know,
more rule really and it's like that's going to be
(20:25):
way too much and so and so that's the kind
of situation where don't you think that you need to
step back and say, I've stepped through a door. I've
got a new life. I've got to create a new life.
I have to rethink my priorities in life. Right, don't
you think like that's where you have to start, because.
Speaker 4 (20:47):
It's a great point. I know, what is your purpose?
Is your purpose? Philanthropy is your purpose? Spending time with
your grandchildren. Maybe your purposes travel, in which case it
doesn't make sense to have a lot of money tied
up in a property. My business, my business partner loves
to cruise, and so he spends you know, thirty days
(21:11):
a year cruising, and you know, he decided, well, how
big of a house do I need if if I'm
going to be if I want to continue to do that.
So it's a great point, like what is your purpose?
And then I think you can back into you know,
these property decisions. You know the client that I mentioned
(21:32):
who was looking at the farm in Florida, her purpose
is she she's into equestrian and she has a dog
rescue and so her divorce left her in a position
where she doesn't have to work every day, but you know,
she has to fill her day and so she has
a couple of horses. She does just a small number
(21:53):
of fosters and adoptions per year. She does a lot
of placement, and so it made sense for her to
look for a bigger farm in Florida. I mean it's
it's a farm. It's not tremendous, but it's still a
pretty you know, it's it's not an inexpensive place to maintain.
Anytime you add horses or I've done bath horses.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
I love horses, but they're like the they're like the sailboat. Yeah, yeah,
there's something you put money into. In the most cases, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (22:26):
It's a big fiberglass hole in the water that you
throw money.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Yeah, so so do you divide up you're your services
or support beyond like buying, so you also are doing
some buying and selling and helping people do.
Speaker 4 (22:45):
That, or you hand or advisory. I mean I I
really I only charge my travel for my existing clients
when when they are considering a new property, maybe it's
in a new market, maybe looking for a skihouse or
a b house, and and so that's that's just advisory
work for existing clients. I think for for your audience,
(23:08):
you know, if someone was going through a messy divorce,
either has some assets in real estate that that they're
looking for some advice on, you know, I'd be happy
to jump on a call and look at some pictures
of the property and talk through what their goals are
and what their purposes and you know, figure out what
(23:29):
should their strategy be. I mean, I'm happy to talk
to their attorney or their financial advisor and and see
what sort of uh, you know, questions they may have. Also.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
Yeah, well that's that's a good point. There's a little
thing of scrolling along the bottom the podcast website. On
the podcast website is bonus downloads and so I will
be posting a little info thing about Joe and how
to find him. So that's great. That is, you know,
(24:04):
you never know. I mean, I'd love to help.
Speaker 4 (24:07):
Give you a brochure so that people could see a
little bit more about what we do, right, and I'm
happy to give my email address and a link to
our website and they can learn a little bit more
about our background and what we do. I mean, our
bread and butter is property management for families that have
you know, between two and five homes. But I think
(24:29):
that this is an important thing to talk about. My
parents went through a divorce when I was in my
twenties early twenties, and so I saw firsthand my mom
going from you know, she was the homemaker. I have
four siblings, so she ran the home, but my dad
(24:50):
ran the property. So you know, when she sold the
house that I grew up in and bought a house
around the corner, she had a lot of questions. And
so being in the property business, my brother's an attorney,
my sister's an account and we all kind of came
together and said, okay, yeah, we're the support team here.
But you know, it was it was definitely a learning experience,
(25:12):
and so I had that kind of aha moment when
when my neighbor passed away and saw what his wife
was going through and said, look, you know, you probably
don't want to pay for my type of service, nor
do I I necessarily think you need it, But why
don't you put your properties on our software that doesn't
(25:33):
cost us anything? And you know we can look at, well,
where do you need help or where do you want
to spend your time? And really she doesn't want much
to do with the property management, so we take care
of it. It's on my street. I walked by, I
walk my dog by it two three times a day,
so you know it's I enjoy doing that. But I'm
(25:54):
also happy to talk to any of your audience and
kind of chat through with their child jazz are and see.
You know, maybe I'm not the best person to make
those recommendations for them, or maybe I'm not the right
person if they're looking for a property manager to manage
their properties. But you know, we know other people in
(26:14):
the industry. It's actually a pretty small industry. We're constantly
bumping into each other in events, so I can make
plenty of recommendation for people in almost any market in
the US awesome.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
Well, how important do you think I mean, do you
think people should just say, oh, I'll take care of
that someday, or do you think it's important to have
trusted vendors and contractors that are already lined up. You
kind of started out talking about that, but I mean
some people might say I'll deal with that later.
Speaker 4 (26:44):
I mean it depends on the property. Banina, I would say,
if it's a complex property, I wouldn't wait until later.
I think it depends on where the property is. So
if you're in an area that gets a lot of
hurricanes or tornadoes or earthquakes, but I don't think you
want to wait. I mean a lot of our clients
with who are in those types of areas where let's
(27:05):
say you need fuel for a generator to keep the
house running. You line that up ahead of time, and
you put the field delivery companies on a retainer so
that you know when there's an event. You know, after
schools and hospitals and fire and police departments. I'm pretty
high on the next tier of people to get fuel
when we need it, So I think it's important to
(27:26):
do that ahead of time. I mean, do you need
to have a vendor in place to clean your couches
sort of, you know, do little things around the house.
I think you do that as needed. But you know,
you want a roofer, you want a good plumber, you know,
all the trades are hard to really get people who
are good and who will actually come when they say
(27:48):
they will when you call. So yeah, I think as
the principal property manager, you should be thinking about those things.
It's you know why I recommend you do a list
and actually tie the vendor to the major assets in
the house. That way, you know, when something does go wrong,
you're not scrambling trying to find someone who would do it.
It's just it's good to have those people at place.
(28:11):
A good handyman is like completely uh worth.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Yeah, well, let's talk a little bit about navigating key decisions.
So how do you help clients decide when to keep?
I mean, let's talk about you know, like my friend
who's just lost her husband, how do you just so
where do you start when you have when you have
to decide whether to keep the family home, sell it
(28:39):
or downsize?
Speaker 4 (28:40):
Uh So, that I think is more of a financial decision,
and I think we support the advisors who are are
making those recommendations right. So it could be a matter
of can I afford this, It could be a matter
of should I continue to keep this house. That's not
(29:00):
really what we do. We're more focused on, Okay, you've
made the decision, let us help you guide. Let us
guide you through the transaction. So you know, maybe you
need a realtor in a specific market, maybe you need
you have a realtor. They've identified, you know, a new
(29:21):
property for you, or they've given you a range of
what they think they can sell a property for. You
can bounce that off us. I mean, we spend so
much time with clients buying and selling. We can tell
if I mean, the market will speak no matter what,
but if if a lot of a lot of times.
I'm not disparaging realtors, but in order to get a
(29:44):
new client in a market where maybe the client doesn't
know other people, they'll say I can get five million
dollars for a house that you know, there's no way
they're going to get five million dollars for. But they're
you know, now, they're kind of embedded. So we can
make some recommendations on who we know in certain markets.
We could look at listing agreements and talk through that
(30:06):
with their attorneys and see if that makes sense. But
those are big decisions, and I think the more people
that you can bring in to advise you, the better
off you'll be, and maybe the better you'll feel at
the end of the process or transaction that you know
you made the right decision.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
Well, I'm hoping that as we've been discussing that the
people are making some notes on what applies best to them.
But what do you think are some warning signs that
someone may be in over their head trying to manage
these responsibilities alone.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
Well, alone's probably the key word. I mean, you shouldn't
be doing these things alone. I mean I assume if
you're going through a divorce or you've gone through a divorce,
you have an attorney and they may not be a
real estate attorney, but you should be asking them. You know,
who can I talk to about these types of things?
Same things with an accountant, uh, you know, looking at
(31:06):
your finances or financial advisor. What sort of assets do
I have? How liquid am I? What is my plan
for the rest of my life from a retirement, retirement
or career perspective? And then the real estate tends to
plug into all of that, right, so you know, here's
(31:27):
the reality of your future and what what can you afford?
And what what do you want to try to afford? Again?
Speaker 3 (31:35):
What are your purpose?
Speaker 4 (31:37):
Yeah, what's your purpose? What are your priorities? And you know,
what do you want to make work? So it's it's
these are big decisions, and I think the more people
you could talk to, the more comfortably you feel making
the choices. And then after not having you know, buyers
or remorse or sellers remorse or renter's remorse.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
Right, well, how would you how would you answer balancing
I'm just wondering, you know, maybe another story would be
good here, Joe, like balancing compassion and professionalism when working
with clients who are grieving. You know, I'm just thinking
(32:19):
sometimes people are kind of like off the rails for
a while.
Speaker 4 (32:23):
Sure, sure, I mean these are emotional times, and so
compassion and empathy are probably the most important traits you
can have as an advisor. But I think you have
to also be honest, right, you know, I understand you're
going through in a very emotional time, but uh, you know,
you go back to what Rachee was saying about the
(32:47):
family home and wanting to keep it because the children
grow up there or the children are growing up there,
and you know, you don't want to make a life changing,
bad decision based on emotion. I think you need people
who can take a step back and say, all right,
I know you want the family home. How are you
(33:08):
going to structure the divorce or your finances so that
you can maintain that and maintain and you know, continue
to live there comfortably and not be How's poor? Right?
So those are all things to consider. You know, what
what is your mental state maybe? And who can I
talk to who could maybe give a little more clarity
(33:31):
to the situation. So you know, I'm a real estate advisor,
but at times I feel like I'm a therapist as well.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
I have actually had people sitting in my office. I
can remember different times when people have said, are you
sure you're not a therapist? You know, because you are.
You're getting into people's lives and what's important, and it's intimate.
Speaker 4 (33:55):
You know, you're in intimate spaces in their homes. You're
you're where you know they entertain their closest friends. You're
where their children play or where they play with their dog,
or where they're with their spouse. And significant others. So
it's very intimate. I mean, we we meet with a
lot of people, and because of what we do is
so intimate, you know, we're very cautious about who we
(34:18):
take on as a client because you know, it's it's
the twenty percent of the clients could take up eighty
percent of your time, and so you really we spend
a lot of time talking to people about, you know,
what their goals are, We meet with they have staff,
we meet with their staff or see them interacting with
people that are within their orbit. And you know, not
(34:40):
everyone is a good client.
Speaker 3 (34:43):
Well let's let's kind of like let's look ahead for
let's all, somebody's gone through this big transition. How can
that those those family members, the friends I'm thinking of,
those people that are watching somebody go through this. How
can families are for AND's best support someone that's navigating
(35:03):
those home and real estate decisions.
Speaker 4 (35:06):
Yeah, I think there's a couple aspects. I mean, if
you've made the real estate decisions, the best types of
vendor referrals usually come from your friends and family, right,
you know, the person shows up when he or she
says she will, and you know they're honest. If they're organized,
(35:28):
they're clean, right. You know, the first litanus test I
look at when I meet a new vendor is what
does the van look like? Or what does the truck
look like? If it beat up at a mess and
there's you know, rappers all over the place, you know,
I can't send that person to a client's property. And
(35:51):
you know, for for us, for our big clients, I
want to meet the principal from the vendors that I'm
sending it, right, So I want to meet the owner.
I'll take you out to lunch or meet you for
a cup of coffee, or I'll bring coffee to your office.
But again, I want to meet you. I want to
see the whites your eyes and see you know, are
(36:14):
you going to do what you say you're going to do.
So you know that the best referrals are from people
that you trust, and you know that that goes for trades,
but it also goes for finding a trust worthy attorney,
finding a trustworthy accountant. Yeah, I mean, I I we're
(36:34):
in Annapolis now, but I live in d C. And
it's like took me forever to find a new dentist
when my dentist retirement, and it took me forever to
find a new accountant when my accountant retired, and I
tried a couple and then if you didn't work out,
so you know, I called my sisters and I called
my brother and I said, who do you recommend? And
you know, it's it's tough to find good people. And
(36:55):
it doesn't matter what industry are, and it's tough to
find good people.
Speaker 3 (36:59):
When I got to Hawaii, I I you know, I
was likewise having to set up all these new resources
for doing different things. One of them was getting a pedicure.
And the funny thing is I went to church and
I looked around at different ladies and looked at who
had the best pedicure. That's the gal that I asked.
(37:22):
But I mean, it's true. It can comply to anything
that you're doing well. You know, time always goes so fast. Okay,
I'm going to ask you this. How can someone prepare
themselves so they know that, like maybe they know that
there's a terminal disease that's going to take their spouse.
How can someone prepare themselves or their family in advance
(37:46):
for those unexpected life changes or even when they know
that something's coming down the pike. What would you say
would be the best way to go? Okay, I know
this is going to happen. How should they prepare? Yeah,
I mean we're doing all those things we've been talking about.
Speaker 4 (38:03):
Yeah, let's yet, there's the emotional aspect, so again talking
to your friends and family. You know, I know this
event is coming and it's unavoidable. Here here is what
keeps me up at night, and then write it down.
I'm a list person. I have to write lists and
(38:25):
like dates and appointments. If they're not on a calendar,
they're not real. But you know, like this morning, almost
every morning I wake up and I make what my
days to do list is. But in stressful situations, I
like to think about, well, what is stressing me? And
like what are the specifics of what's stressing me? So
you know, in the scenario you you said a loved
(38:50):
one is dying, there's a terminal illness. Well, okay, obviously
I'm very upset about this loss that is coming. But
what specifically is making me anxious? So it's could be
the finances. Well, who can I talk to? I can
talk to I don't know, maybe my children, or my
(39:11):
financial advisor or my accountant and say I'm very anxious
about my finances and you can look at, well, here's
where you are. Maybe you need to change your investment
portfolio or a strategy, or maybe you do need to downsize,
like you're not going to be able to continue to
(39:32):
drive a Mercedes or have a second home. Let's address
what's stressing you, and from a real estate perspective, it
could be I'm not going to be comfortable maintaining this
home or these homes. Okay, why what is it? The money?
Is it the time? Is it the travel? I know
(39:54):
it could be just the the unexpected. I don't know
what is stressing me about it, So you know, we
could talk through let's think about what the model is
that would alleviate this stress in your life. And you
could do that well ahead of time, right Like the
longer runway you have on that, the more options you
(40:17):
have at the end.
Speaker 3 (40:19):
Most of the time, I've felt like the more you
can do beforehand, the easier it's going to be. I mean,
it's not never easy, but it's going to be a
little bit more streamlined. If if maybe that the person
that knows that their terminal can work, you know, they
can work together, and I think that is always helpful
(40:41):
to do it.
Speaker 4 (40:41):
And also I think that Okay, you have this terrible
event that you know is happening, and you don't want
to focus on it on the ancillary things. But if
you could get the ancillary things out of the way
towards the end, you'd get to spend more time with
you know this person instead of at the end scrambling
(41:03):
to try and put solutions in place or try to
make hard decisions. And maybe that extra time with your
significant other you could talk through some of those decisions
and maybe he or she would have some thoughts as well.
Speaker 3 (41:18):
Right, right, Well, what do you think we need to
start wrapping up? Unbelief? It's always unbelievable to me. It
goes so fast. What's the most rewarding part do you
think it's been for you, Joe, with helping people through
these transitions?
Speaker 4 (41:32):
Yeah, I really enjoy kind of what we talked about,
which is alleviating the stress and what we call it
reducing your your time to near zero, managing your properties
and helping you feel enabled to run the properties, helping
you feel enabled to foster good decisions and have the
(41:59):
right people and place to help you guide help guide
you to those right decisions. So I like the empowerment
element of it that you know this thing that uh
before was scary uh and the unknown and helping put
solutions in place where people can say, like, oh, I
can you know, spend time with my grandchildren? All right,
(42:21):
I can't spend time uh you know, riding horses and
dealing with people's uh you know, lost pets and and
uh you know that's very rewarding. I also, I like
when my clients go on vacation to these beautiful properties
and come back and I say, how was it in there? Like, yeah,
(42:43):
it's good to be home, you know, Like I like
coming home that that to me is is always a
lot of fun.
Speaker 3 (42:50):
Well, our time is almost over. So what would be
one piece of advice if you could? You know, can
you wrap this all up as to what would be
the one use of advice to someone listening who might
be facing this type of situation?
Speaker 4 (43:06):
Sure? So if if if you have uncertainty in your
life or you know, stress around some impending event, and
some of that centers around real estate, I would encourage
them to really reach out to either myself or someone
else that that they trust to help them make the
(43:28):
right decisions help alleviate the stress that uh you know
they're they're going through, and uh yeah, I always ask
for help, right, you know. You great people always surround
themselves by with great people.
Speaker 3 (43:45):
And sometimes I think maybe the last thing I might
say is when people say, oh, I can't do this,
I can't do that, I'm always saying, no, turn it around,
how can you you know, you know what, what could
you do that would right? You know?
Speaker 4 (44:01):
And it's kind of like rich rich dad, poor dad.
When people say I can afford something, that's just a
lazy that's a lazy answer. It's you can afford almost
anything you want to do. And I don't necessarily mean
just financially afford. You know. It could be exercise, like
I don't have enough time to exercise. Well, someone busier
(44:21):
than you found time today to exercise. So so saying
you can't afford to do something is usually a lazy
answer to to a question. It's it's I don't want
to have to work hard to do something. So I
think that book. I read it forever ago, and I
still think of it really like very often, me too.
Speaker 3 (44:45):
Yeah, well, Joe, thank you so much for joining me today.
Speaker 4 (44:49):
Thank you so much. I appreciate you having me. It's
been wonderful.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
Well it is, you know, it's something that in one
way are shape or another. This is going to hit
all of us right eventually, it is. It just will.
So thank you so much. People will be able to
find more information about Joe on the podcast bonus downloads area.
(45:14):
And so with that, thank you so much Joe for
joining us, and thank you for joining the Ask Good
Questions podcast.
Speaker 4 (45:21):
Thank you, Anita, have a great day, gay bye bye.
Speaker 2 (45:27):
Today's episode is over. But we did ask Good Questions again,
didn't We don't miss out as we broadcast live every
Wednesday six pm Eastern Time on W four CY Radio
at w four cy dot com. Joined Nina Bellmerson next
week for more conversations with experts on finances, retirement, behavioral
(45:48):
finance issues, health and wellness, and more. Until then, remember
to ask good questions
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