4 Hours Of Reddit Stories - My Cousin Asked My Daughter To Perform At Her Wedding, But After...

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
My cousin asked my daughter to perform at her wedding,
but after her success, she became jealous and posted negatively
about her online original post. I hope this is okay
to share here. The reason I'm posting is because of
my daughter, who's been hurting in the aftermath of a
recent performance. I'm sorry in advance for how long this
turned out, but any advice from fellow aerialists would be

(00:20):
greatly appreciated. My cousin, Dana not real name, had her
wedding two weeks ago, and she asked if my daughter
could perform at her reception. My daughter, Jane, also fake name,
has practiced Silk's lera for the past few years at
a nearby circus studio, and she's also performed within through
the studio at small gigs. She hopes to continue into
adulthood and become a professional teacher, but this recent incident

(00:43):
has shaken her confidence. She has a private Instagram to
document her progress, shot performances, and I only post certain
performances on my Facebook. Her first gig with the studio
and her first recital, to name a few were proud of.
Some of our relatives saw her performances through my socials,
and they watched her performance at her studio's Christmas recital
when we hosted Christmas at our home a few years back,

(01:04):
something that surprised her when they visited early to see her.
I love how they coordinated that, and Jane said it
was her loudest cheering section to date. Dana was one
of the relatives who came up early to see her
Christmas recital, and she's always been super supportive. She asked
me if Jane would be willing to perform at the reception,
and I asked on her behalf. Jane was honored and
excited when I did, and we already had a portable

(01:26):
rig for her too, though we ended up renting a
taller one from her studio. Dana got the idea from
a YouTube video featuring an aerialist who performed at a
wedding reception, and she showed us while requesting white silks
in a white outfit. We scoped out the venue and
purchased white silks along with a white costume that Dana
approved of, and Jane was really excited throughout. Jane even
worked on choreography to a song that Dana requested, and

(01:49):
she put a lot of time into it, even asking
one of her coaches to help her with it. Dana
insisted on paying her for the gig, despite Jane not
expecting to be paid, and she paid her a few
hundred However, Dana's had a change of heart. Jane received
a standing ovation after her performance that surprised her, but
we didn't know anything was wrong until Dana went on
Facebook a few days later. Dana said she didn't approve

(02:10):
of the outfit Jane wore and that she specifically told
her to not wear white. She also said my husband
and I pressured her to have Jane perform, and that
the performance gave off an unclassy vibe. Lies that my
husband and I couldn't believe. We sent Dana numerous costume
links and we purchased the one she liked. There was
also nothing wrong with Jane's performance. Dana was one of
the people cheering afterward. Jane received nothing but compliments afterward,

(02:33):
but I'm disgusted that she had to see that post
after all the work she put into it. The post
also had comments disabled. For what it's worth. I called
Dana to confront her about the lies, but she didn't
pick up numerous calls. I then called her parents, who
like us, had received messages about her post, and they
said that Dana was wrong. They apologized on her behalf
and said they were also disgusted. Dana's mom also said

(02:56):
that Dana vented to her before making her post. A
few days after the reception, Dana told her she regretted
asking Jane to perform given the attention, compliments, and cheers
she received for it. Her mom also said that she
felt upstaged with Jane wearing white and having to hear
how good she was. Dana's parents tried to call her
after she made her post, but she didn't answer after
their previous conversation ended with her parents telling her she

(03:18):
shouldn't be bitter because she specifically asked Jane to perform.
Dana's parents reported the post along with us O others,
and we've told the truth to those who reached out,
along with a post to explain our side stand up
for Jane. We have text proof of sending costume links
that Dana chose from Dana's parents also requested to talk
to Jane on the phone to apologize for Dana's behavior,
and my husband and I told Jane that Dana was wrong,

(03:40):
and that we'll be distancing ourselves from Dana permanently. Dana's
parents were surprised at her behavior, and we were too,
having seen her grow up. Granted, we only see extended
family for Thanksgiving and Christmas because we live far, but
other relatives were surprised too, as it seemed to come
from left field. Maybe there's a side of Dana we'll
never know from our limited holiday milestone interaction actions. But

(04:00):
our focus is Jane. We've tried to cheer Jane up
by offering to take her to dinner, among other activities,
but she's been hurting, which is why I'm here. Jane
hasn't practiced at home or the studio since the reception,
and I don't want to invade her space at her
studio by asking telling anyone there in case she doesn't
want anyone to know. She asked me to return the
white silks and costume after being so excited to receive them.

(04:23):
She also said she's going to take an extended break
from aerial photography to reconsider if she wants to continue.
Aside from aerial photography, she's taken a break from seeing
non aerial friends too, choosing to pretty much keep to herself.
We would appreciate any advice from fellow aerialists on how
to lift her spirits. We remind her of how we're
proud of her, along with the many compliments she received.

(04:44):
But she's asked for space and to not talk about it.
We're going to respect that and let time do its thing,
but we'll consider any advice from other aerialists who can
relate to the time and work she put in. Sorry
for this being so long, but we appreciate anyone who
reads and takes the time to reply. From the first post,
Leslie Barb, Nope. I always see aerialists in white at
weddings take comfort in the internet op and hopefully they

(05:07):
can use it as a defense with Dana. If she
wants to be that way, just post the receipts of
how she asked her what to wear, et cetera. If
she's willing to say that for a sixteen year old,
or let it go. It'll pass because I promised Dana
we'll have some new crazy thing to do very soon.
These types always do first update before I get into
what's happened since my last post. I want to thank

(05:27):
everyone who took the time to comment. Two pieces of
advice really stood out, and I'll get to them shortly
since my original post, Dana's Facebook post is gone. I
don't know if she deleted it or enough people reported
it for Facebook to remove it, but we're glad it's gone.
She never apologized to us or Jane or even bothered
to call, so our position on being permanently done with

(05:48):
Dana stands. My husband and I made a post on
my Facebook addressing the lies she spewed about our daughter,
and we shared photoproof of Dana's texts where she approved
of Jane's white costume from links we sent, not to
mention the song choice she sent us to Better Yet,
Dana's mother reposted it on her account, which really surprised me.
Dana's mother wrote that they loved Jane's act and that
they disapproved of Dana's actions. My husband and I also

(06:10):
made sure that Jane was okay with us addressing it
on Facebook, and she said it was fine. Normally, I
wouldn't use Facebook to address drama if aimed at me,
but since this involves a grown adult attacking a minor,
we felt the need to address it publicly because she
disparaged her publicly, and Jane will remember whether we stood
up for her or not years from now. I had
a chance to speak with Dana's mother since my original

(06:31):
post on the phone, and she spoke to Dana again
after our last call. Dana reiterated how she regretted asking
Jane to perform, but she harped on the standing ovation
that bothered her the most. Dana told her that she
expected Jane to get some polite applause, but that the
overwhelming response really set her over the edge because she
expected the loudest cheers to be when she and her
husband entered the reception, but that went to Jane instead.

(06:54):
Dana and her husband also received a great reception when
they entered the reception, but Jane's performance did too, and
Dana didn't expect it. Heck, even Jane was surprised by
it too. She never received a standing ovation from a
solo act before. But Dana's mother believes that if Dana
had asked someone to sing who received a similar reception,
Dana's jealousy would have been all the same. Someone suggested

(07:15):
seeing if Jane would be interested in speaking to a therapist,
given how hurtful Dana's comments could be for a teen
and Jane said she's open to it so long as
it isn't a counselor at school because as of now
she doesn't want anyone at school or her studio to
know about the incident, and she vaguely told the coach
who helped her choreograph that it went fine. We will
respect her privacy request as it's her right to control
the narrative, but in the same vein I suggested therapy

(07:38):
for Dana to Dana's mother since her reaction might be
a bigger insecurity, and she said she'd ask. The other
thing someone suggested was the possibility of Dana's husband or
anyone making an inappropriate comment to Jane during the reception
that made her shut down and not want to see
friends or practice. Days before Dana's post, my husband decided
to ask her and Jane said no. When he did,

(07:58):
if something happened, perhaps she'd be more comfortable telling a
therapist with time. But on the bright side, she said
she might want to try a different aerial studio because
she doesn't want to answer questions about how it went
or share a video at her home studio, So we
will help her find somewhere new, As she asked, we
hope she doesn't permanently leave her current studio because she
has friends and coaches who are supportive, and she performs

(08:20):
with that studio's troop at festival's gigs. But I personally
understand the need to sometimes go somewhere where nobody knows
you for a break, and we hope that that will
help her. She hasn't said definitely yet, but if we do,
we'll take her. She still wants an extended break from
aerial photography in the meantime, but even if when she
goes back, she said, she may never want to perform
again and would rather do it leisurely, one of the

(08:42):
reasons she doesn't want to return to her home studio
where she's a part of their troop. She asked if
we'd tell her troop coach that she won't perform with
them anymore if it comes to it, and if that's
what she wants down the road, then we will. Hopefully
time heals this wound and helps her at least keep
the friends she has there. But we can only hope.
Comments from the first Boru fleetst other than Dana, it's

(09:03):
really nice to see a bunch of adults behaving admirably
in support of Jane. I hope Jane is able to
heal and not lose something she's loved doing because of
one mean spirited individual, dryadunath. Yeah, it is truly weird.
How often on this sub we see people making excuses
for outright encouraging terrible behavior. This was a welcome change

(09:23):
basic Bishet. Also, Oop didn't take this to an advice subreddit,
but to a subreddit dedicated to the sport Cake for PM. Honestly,
I do think that is key. It's a very specific
subject in asking for advice from other performers karate and
pop tarts, this is the key. I'm an aerialist as well,
and a member of the sub who's been following that story.

(09:44):
We're a pretty small community and very very protective of
other aerialists, especially younger girls. It's also an inclusive sport
and not super competitive, which I think lends to cooler heads.
Slovenly muse this is a hugely important underlying fact. I
think that these people are all family. If Dana had
hired an aerialist off of whatever Craig's list is now,

(10:05):
they probably would have received polite applause that didn't upstage
the bride. But Jane was family and the guests were
mostly family, which makes them extra excited to see a
young person in the family doing so well. And they're
not just impressed with her performance, they're proud of her,
hence the standing ovation. But this also means that when
Dana lashes out at the aerialist, she's bad mouthing Jane

(10:26):
to Jane's own family. Her wedding guests are not going
to automatically side with Dana because they're Jane's family too,
and with the receipts out there, this isn't going to
go well for Dana at all. I guess you could
see this as a lesson about keeping firm boundaries between
personal and professional engagements, but really, I think the main
takeaway here is to avoid marrying a crazy person whenever possible.

(10:47):
Last update. When I tried to make each past post,
they were immediately removed for some reason. Thus why I
asked Madison Brave to post on my behalf. After a
few failed attempts on my original and update posts, I
was able to make a post to my own profile
stating that I gave Madison permission to post on my behalf,
but when I tried to add this final update, my
account was suspended as soon as I hit post, and

(11:09):
I'm guessing I tried too many times to repost it,
along with the many attempts on my original and update too.
I have since made a new account and reached out
to the mods for assistance posting my last update after
Madison suggested that I reach out to them instead of
constantly reposting it previously, and they were gracious enough to
help me. This is going to be the last time
I update, and I want to thank everyone who gave advice.

(11:30):
In my last post, I mentioned that Jane said she'd
be open to talking to a professional so long as
it wasn't anyone from her school, and we agreed to
accommodate her. However, she changed her mind shortly after and
said she wanted to talk to her coach instead, whom
she had been brushing off since the reception and being
vague about how it went. She and her coach put
a lot of time into choreographing the act for Dana,
and she didn't even charge her for the sessions to

(11:51):
do so. Her coach is also part of her circus
studio's performing troupe, and she has always been supportive and understanding.
We supported her decision to talk with her coach, and
they did in person. It was after they spoke that
Jane spoke to me, following her coach's suggestion to do so,
and I'm going to be somewhat vague about certain details
of our discussion. She also asked to speak to me
first before we'd talked to my husband afterward, and that's

(12:14):
what we did. Jane opened up about how Dana sent
a private message to her Instagram the day after the reception,
but to her personal Instagram and not the private Circus one.
Dana's private message was just as bitter as her Facebook posts,
but much more hurtful. Dana called Jane derogatory sexual terms
in her message, and I can't express how angry my
husband and I still are. Jane said she was surprised

(12:36):
upon receiving the message. Dana was always supportive of her craft,
and she gave her a standing ovation along with her husband.
Looking back, Dana probably did because everyone else was doing so.
But Dana also wrote that she only received the ovation
because they were family who were biased and couldn't tell
the difference between a good and bad aerialist. Jane blocked
Dana long before we spoke, and she said she was

(12:58):
hurt because Dana was one of the releiveives who came
up for Christmas early when he hosted some years back
to attend her studio's Christmas recital, which surprised her and
we all went out to dinner afterwards too. My husband
and I tried our best to remind her that Dana's
reaction was a reflection of her insecurities rather than anything
Jane did. If the best Man gave a speech that
garnered the same reaction, Dana would have directed her vitriol

(13:19):
at him. Jane said she understood that it wasn't her fault,
but there was more in Dana's message that hurt her confidence,
such as bodily comments that were disgusting. She said she
may return to Ariel at some point, but that she
still needs time and is unsure about performing again compared
to doing it leisurely. We told her, among other things,
that we commended her decision to speak with her coach

(13:39):
and that will respect her ultimate decision. Jane also said
that she didn't tell us immediately because she wasn't sure
if she wanted further drama with Dana if we told
her parents about her message. However, after some time, she
said she actually wanted us to tell them because she
felt that Dana deserved repercussions for it. She said she
was surprised that Dana's parents called her out publicly on
Facebook without knowing about the message, so that made her

(14:02):
feel comfortable with us telling them. Jane also saved a
screenshot of Dana's message, and while we agreed to tell
her parents, we suggested that she'd deleted afterwards because it's
not good to carry around hurtful things. She's also still
open to speaking to a professional about the other stuff
in Dana's message that's more hurtful, so long as it's
no one from her school. We are in the process
of trying to find a therapist who can help with

(14:24):
some of the infidelities that led to her shut down
in the weeks after the performance. I honestly cannot thank
her coach enough, but I just want to touch on
a few more things that were suggested in the comments.
I received a few dms saying we were just as
bad as Dana for addressing Dana's lies on Facebook, So
I want to be clear. My husband and I rarely
use Facebook, and if someone had started drama with me

(14:45):
on a Facebook post, I wouldn't use Facebook to address
it personally. I'd opt for a call instead. But since
she disparaged a minor publicly with lies regarding costumes that
we had text proof of her approving, we felt the
need to post those messages proving that she signed off
on them, and we asked Jane if she was okay
with it first. The other thing a few people asked
was whether her costume was potentially inappropriate. The costume we

(15:06):
purchased came from a website that many professional circus performers use,
including some who used to be in Serc du Soilet
and tag the shop while wearing it on their socials,
and we purchased other costumes from there in the past. Heck,
some of their costumes have been used in wedding gigs
by hired circus performers too. Jane's costume also received many compliments,
but were glad Jane realizes that she isn't responsible for

(15:28):
Dana's insecurities. This was also Jane's first negative experience in
her young performing career. Despite knowing Dana is entirely at fault,
her words still hurt as they were close before this.
Jane has kept in contact with her coach since, and
she's even considering a different apparatus to take her mind
off of silks that are temporarily tainted. We hope that
time and therapy will help her with whatever she chooses,

(15:50):
but her coach has also floated the idea of organizing
a hangout with her troop completely outside of Ariel, like
a zip line rope course day, to get her mind
off of it while seeing her friends, and she said
she'd be open to it. Dana's parents also sent Sherry's
Berry's for Jane, which was really sweet, and Jane sent
them a text to thank them too. Regarding Dana's parents,
I discussed the private message with Dana's mother and she

(16:11):
was even more disgusted than before. She said that she
and her husband would deal with it and that there'd
be permanent changes to their relationship with Dana until she
apologizes and then some. She also apologized to us on
her behalf and said she didn't raise her to be
like that, but for what it's worth, Even before we
mentioned Dana's message, she told me that Dana's husband wasn't
thrilled with her Facebook post. Among other things, Dana complained

(16:33):
about regarding the wedding things that I had no clue about.
She also said she's not sure if they'll be together
much longer due to other things going on too. But
I'll keep this to Jane only and hope that she
comes back to Ariel someday or even a different apparatus
if she chooses. Comments from the last update we all
love dogs, geez, I'm so sorry your daughter had to
deal with that horrible message on top of everything else.

(16:56):
I am glad everyone but Dana seems to be behaving
reasonably and trying to support Jane through this. Honestly, Dana's
behavior kind of goes beyond insecure and mean and into
completely inexplicably evil territory. Not that you owed Dana anything,
but especially if she was previously kind and supportive to
your daughter, Dana's parents should for sure look into trying
to get her some professional help too, if there's been

(17:17):
no indication at all of her being this cruel out
of control previously, and it's seeming out of character to
everyone who knows her, including her parents, and husband. Is
there a legitimate chance that she's experiencing a real psychiatric problem.
Obviously not your responsibility and not an excuse, but something
that those who care about her might want to consider.
Now to the next story. Story too called off my

(17:39):
wedding after my fiance allowed kids but banned my daughter,
blaming her for ruining our engagement party by being ill.
Earlier this week, Addison forty degrees fahrenheit and I thirty
eight degrees mail were about to tie the knot, but
I abruptly called it off. For the previous three years
we had been together, everything was going well until we
got engaged, which was around six months ago. When we

(18:01):
started talking about who we wanted to invite to the wedding,
things started to go south. Naturally, I wanted my daughter
to be present, because I have one. Addison, however, was
very clear that she did not want any children present
at the wedding, given that she has two children of
her own from a previous marriage and six nieces and
nephews with whom she is very close. This was an
odd position given that the majority of those we invited

(18:24):
were also parents. I couldn't understand why she didn't want
any children at the wedding. At first, we argued about
it a lot, but I finally gave in. I grudgingly
agreed to keep my daughter away from the wedding, provided
she didn't invite any children from her side of the family.
To put things in perspective, my daughter is fourteen years old,
so she is not even a little child. However, Addison

(18:45):
was unaffected by that. She informed me that she wanted
a stress free wedding and that she didn't want any exceptions,
even though she loved my daughter, her own children, and
even her nieces and nephews. She said that by making exclusions,
she didn't want to alienate anyone who had children. I
was really angry about it, but I reasoned that because
she had already made up her mind, there wasn't much

(19:05):
I could do if she really wanted a wedding without children.
The actual wedding was going to be small. Just a
few close friends and family would be coming, and we
would be being married in my parents backyard. I decided
to let it go after reasoning that the kids wouldn't
be missing out on much fun. Just a few days
prior to the wedding, everything changed. Kate Addison's younger sister
emailed me while I was at work. She was requesting

(19:28):
approval for the email, which included pictures of her two
daughters wearing wedding appropriate attire. I was initially perplexed. Then
I saw that Kate had sent the email to our
shared wedding email address, which we had set up especially
for vendor communications and RSVPs. It was too late when
I realized it must have been an accident. I had
previously viewed and captured a screenshot of the email. I

(19:49):
tried to check the email again a few minutes later,
but Addison had already erased it. I had finally figured
out what was going on. By that point. Addison had
claimed that there would be no children at the wedding,
but in reality, she was planning to invite her own children,
as well as relatives and nephews, but not my daughter.
I was incensed at her dishonesty that day, I didn't

(20:10):
say anything. As soon as I got home from work,
I acted as though nothing was wrong. Addison was being
a little aud at first, perhaps because she thought I
had read the email and figured out what she was doing. However,
Addison calmed down and resumed his typical behavior. Once I
kept everything a secret, I knew she was planning something
behind my back, and this was around two days before
the wedding. I therefore made the decision to ask my

(20:32):
daughter about her feelings on Addison. Even before I proposed,
I had discussed this with her, but since I was
really reconsidering the wedding, I felt it would be best
to have another conversation. In retrospect, I'm really happy I
took that choice. My daughter told me that Addison had
always been kind to her prior to the engagement, but
after that something had changed. My daughter clarified that she

(20:54):
hadn't brought it up sooner because she didn't want to
spoil my happiness with Addison. After witnessing it. Addison, however,
had been acting strangely toward her after the engagement. Addison
behaved completely differently when I wasn't there, whenever she came
to visit. My custody agreement states that I get to
spend half the month with my daughter, which is a
substantial amount of time. When I got home from work,

(21:15):
my daughter claimed that Addison would activate the charm, but
she ignored her the rest of the time. Prior to
the engagement, this wasn't the case. It was unexpected and
disheartening to hear this. My daughter also revealed that she
thought Addison no longer wanted her in her life when
she learned that he intended a wedding without children. She
believed it wouldn't matter, so she didn't even try to go.

(21:35):
I felt so bad about myself for letting Addison convince
me not to invite my own kid to my wedding.
I made the decision to call off the wedding at
that point. I talked to Addison the day before the wedding.
After that, I didn't bother returning home. Addison called me
multiple times, but I didn't answer. I told my parents
to inform her that I would meet her on the
wedding day because I knew she would get in touch

(21:56):
with them next. I stayed with my daughter all day
instead of returning her home. By the end of the day,
we both felt much better. I spent the night at
a hotel after dropping her off at her mother's house.
I arrived at my parents house the following morning, exactly
one hour before the ceremony was set to start. A
few people had already arrived when I got there, including

(22:16):
Addison's dad and both of her sisters, Kate and Amelia. Naturally,
all six of their children were present, along with Addison's
two children, who were all under twelve and running around
the area. Addison hurried to meet me at the door.
As soon as she noticed me, she started by saying
that Kate and Amelia couldn't leave their children behind, despite
her having informed them that the wedding was child free.

(22:37):
She went on to say that her parents thought it
would be odd if she married without her own children
being there. I could tell she thought I was crazy
because she was making up all these absurd excuses. However,
I remained silent until she had finished speaking. Then she
began asking me strange questions, like where I had been
the night before and why I was dressed the way
I was. I simply got out my phone, showed her

(22:58):
a screenshot of the e mail that Kate had inadvertently
sent to our joint wedding email account, and laughed in
her face. That was sufficient to silence her. She realized
right away that she had been apprehended and that she
couldn't get away with it by talking. It was already
too late when she began to apologize I informed her
that I had spent the day before with my daughter
and discovered that she had been treating my daughter differently

(23:19):
for the past few months ever since we became engaged.
I didn't even want an explanation or an answer at
this point. I simply informed her that we were done.
She clearly did not value my daughter. Therefore, I made
it clear that I would not marry her. I had
never treated her children any differently than I had my own,
so it was very painful. However, I didn't believe it
was a good idea for us to get married because

(23:41):
it was obvious that she didn't really value my family
or me. I spoke up and didn't wait for her
to answer. I simply left. I didn't turn around, even
though she was shouting for me. I had nothing better
to do, so I got into my car, drove to
a hotel, and napped for a long time. My phone
was inundated with texts. When I got up at lunch time.
Addison's family was unhappy, and everyone who had been invited

(24:03):
to the wedding was perplexed. However, I was unable to care.
I gave my friends and family a quick run down
of the circumstances and then let it go. I visited
my daughter later. I informed her that I intended to
spend more time with her and that I had canceled
the wedding. I acknowledged that, without even recognizing it, we
had begun to drift apart during the previous few months.

(24:24):
She used to come to me right away if she
had a problem with someone, so I realized something was wrong.
She hadn't spoken though with Addison. At least we were
able to work things out, even if we both were
a little emotional. Speaking of Addison, that's where I've been
having trouble. Five days have passed since the day we
were meant to tie the knot, and by now almost
everyone is aware of the reason I called off the wedding.

(24:45):
Her dishonesty was just as much of a factor as
the way she treated my daughter. Being dishonest is, in
my opinion, a major deal breaker in any relationship. I've
already been cheated on twice, and I can tell you
that it always begins with a simple fib She believed
that she could get away with telling such a large falsehood.
I don't believe that canceling the wedding at the last
minute was incorrect on my part. Yes, it was sudden

(25:08):
and rude, but considering that she had intended to surprise
me with the kids at the last minute, I believe
it was reasonable. Her family feels I'm being harsh and
is angry that I didn't offer her an opportunity to clarify.
Addison has been contacting me constantly, as has the rest
of her family. Addison's only justification is that she had
good reason to invite my kid, but she couldn't beg

(25:28):
me not come. She also finds it quite offensive that
I didn't think our relationship needed at least a chat
before terminating it in that manner, even after we had
been together for so long. She has stated that she
will discuss her reasons in person, but she has not
disclosed them. How she could possibly defend her decision to
not invite my daughter to our wedding is beyond me.
To the best of my knowledge, she and my daughter

(25:50):
have never had any problems together. I still believe like
I ought to have talked to her first, though I've
been feeling guilty for the past few days, and I'm
not sure why. I believe that. Rather acting as though
everything was all right right up until the last minute.
I ought to have been honest with her. I should
have gone right home from work and addressed her the
day I learned what she was planned. I could have
prevented a lot of the drama that is going on

(26:11):
now if I had done that. I've been bothered by
the fact that I feel like a bit of a
jerk for not handling things better? Am I the jerk
for abruptly calling off the wedding and not talking to
my fiance? First update? Three days have passed since I posted,
and I'm still at the motel. I contacted Addison today
and informed her that she needed to vacate the house
right now. Since it was my house before she moved in,

(26:34):
I believe it is only right that she must depart
now that we are done. She has till the end
of the month, in my opinion, to find a place,
since sleeping in a hotel is in a practical long
term solution, I intend to crash with a buddy until then.
I feel much better about my choice. Aside from that,
my friends have encouraged me that in the end, I
made the decision to become a father because it is

(26:54):
what I value most. I don't believe I have to
apologize for putting my daughter first. People can avoid me
if they have an issue with that. I don't give
a damn about Addison's motivations. I don't think I need
to hear them at all. If she can't send me
an explanation, I'm not interested in seeing her at the moment.
Since it's obvious that her parents and sister were aware
of her scheme the entire time and kept quiet about it,

(27:16):
I've also barred them. I thought I got along well
with her family, so this is disappointing. Before everything that transpired,
I firmly believed that I had become a member of
their family. I hadn't replied to Addison much up until
last night, but I did advise her to begin searching
for a new residence. I also informed her that she
may text me to explain why she didn't want my
kid to attend the wedding, but I also made it

(27:38):
apparent that there was no turning back once the harm
had been done. She has not responded to that message.
I apologize to those who inquire, but I have no
idea why she would be acting in such a different
way around my kid. Since I'm genuinely interested. I've talked
to my daughter extensively, but she too doesn't know. My
daughter was as perplexed as I was when I showed
her the messages and we talked about Addison's actions. She

(28:00):
informed me that she was surprised when Addison began acting
differently around her in the early days following the engagement.
My daughter even made an attempt to patch things up,
but Addison remained aloof and uninterested in her attempts. Addison
appears to be the issue here based on what I've heard.
Although I am aware that many children struggle to understand
their parents separation, my daughter is not one of those children,

(28:21):
and she has no justification for lying about Addison. To
begin with, I was never married to her mother. We
dated for two years before splitting up when she was
three years old. She hardly recalls our time together. For
the last five years, my ex has also been married.
I have no doubt that my daughter was not at
all offended by my choice to move on and wet Addison.

(28:41):
Until recently, they had a nice connection. I'm not claiming
my kid is flawless, even though she may be in
my opinion, but I do know She doesn't lie, especially
when it comes to something like this. She is aware
of how much I respect openness and truthfulness in my
loved ones. When she claims that Addison began acting differently,
I genuinely believe her. Nevertheless, I doubt Addison will reveal

(29:02):
her motivations. I texted her a few hours ago and
she hasn't responded yet. She probably hasn't received my message
because she works from home and must be on her
phone all the time for her job. She always responds
right away, so I'm certain she's ignoring me. However, it
makes no difference. All I want is for her to
leave my home so I may resume my comfortable life.

(29:22):
I have to go back to work in a few days,
and staying in this motel is strange. Second update, Three
days have passed since I sent Addison a text. She
did respond earlier today. She claimed to understand why I
didn't want to see her face to face, but she
demanded that we do so so she could give me
an explanation for why she didn't want my daughter to
attend the wedding, despite the fact that we are no

(29:44):
longer together. She said she didn't want me to misinterpret her.
Addison said that her reasons were legitimate and that she
didn't want me to think she was the villain. She
said she didn't want to hurt me, so she lied.
That reasoning was absurd because she still caused me pain.
I responded in life less than thirty minutes, being very
clear that I would not be speaking with her face
to face. Anything she said had to be sent via text,

(30:06):
and that was the end of it. She said it
was around an hour ago. She stated that something that
occurred at the engagement party was the reason she didn't
want my daughter to attend the wedding. Regretfully, my daughter
wasn't feeling well on the day of the engagement celebration.
I already knew she wouldn't be able to come when
it was my turn to keep her for the month.
Despite feeling ill, she insisted on going, even though I

(30:27):
told her she could stay in her room. She desired
to join in the festivities. She went back upstairs to relax.
After spending a few minutes downstairs toasting with everyone. Although
some people inquired about her well being, it didn't cause
a significant disturbance. Addison went upstairs to see how my
daughter was doing, but he thought she had stolen our
thunder she was chatting and laughing on the phone with

(30:49):
a friend. According to Addison, my daughter didn't appear ill
at all. Addison, who tends to stir things up, talked
to her sisters about her worries rather than to me
or my daughter. After the engagement, Addison started to remove
herself from my daughter because of this minor miscommunication, which
unnecessarily escalated. Addison persuaded herself that my daughter will eventually

(31:09):
cause issues because she wasn't thrilled with our marriage, that
one small incident was the only source of this view.
When Addison told me this, I was appalled, so I
didn't even bother answering her reply. I questioned my daughter
about Addison's words to put things in perspective. My daughter
acknowledged that she was still feeling poorly that day, but
she was conversing with a friend. Speaking with a friend

(31:30):
was merely a means of self distraction. It did not
indicate that she was not ill. Addison's logic was utterly nonsensical.
I think this episode provided Addison a reason to stop
acting like she was being kind to my kid, even
though I think she may have been insecure from the beginning.
Looking back, I'm glad I didn't wet Addison. She would
have undoubtedly caused further issues along the road. In hindsight,

(31:51):
there were further warning signs. When my daughter was around.
Addison would often remark that I didn't spend enough time
with her. Ironically, I never voiced any complaints, and she
frequently spent comfortable amounts of time with her own children.
Her behavior as a parent was admirable in my opinion.
When I think back on my earlier posts, I see
that Addison was a major factor in my lack of

(32:12):
time with my kid. She quietly took up all of
my attention, both mentally and practically. I was so committed
in our relationship at the time that I didn't realize it.
It was too late before the warning signs were noticed.
I'm relieved that I was able to end that relationship
at last, because I didn't want to remain with someone
if it meant sacrificing my relationship with my daughter. I'm
not really sure how to interpret that absurd message that

(32:33):
Addison sent me to day. It puzzled me that she
destroyed our connection over something so trivial, something that might
have been settled with a conversation, so for a long
I thought about answering her and telling her precisely how
I felt. However, I'd changed my mind since I didn't
think it was worth the hassle. Until it's time for
me to go back home, I would much rather ignore her. Unfortunately,

(32:54):
since I need my job, clothing, it might happen shortly.
She needs a somewhere to stay soon, I hope. Although
my friends have graciously allowed me to stay with them,
I really simply want to return home. Up date three.
I made this post two days ago. I returned home
earlier to day to get my clothes and other necessities.
I was heading to a friend's apartment and decided to

(33:14):
leave the hotel because it was becoming too costly. I
made the decision to visit the house and get everything
I required. I wasn't sure if Addison would be home
because I banned her and didn't respond to her messages
after she sent them. Regretfully, she was present when I
got there in the afternoon. She obviously wanted to talk
and appeared sad to see me. I began gathering my
belongings as fast as I could, intending to be done

(33:36):
and out of there before anyone could speak. I urged
her to start looking for a place so I could
move back in as I was ready to leave. She
apologized profusely and followed me as I made my way
to my car. She claimed she shouldn't have lied or
made such a huge deal out of the engagement party event,
and she acknowledged that she felt awful about what had transpired.
She clarified that she recently got into a battle with

(33:56):
her sisters after understanding how their advice had led to
the breakdown of our relationship, and that they had made
it look like a much greater problem than it actually was.
Addison pleaded for another chance, saying she would improve her
connection with my daughter and me. Hearing her plea made
me sad, but it was too late. When I got
to my car, I informed her that although I could
relate to her feelings, my kid was the most important

(34:17):
thing to me. I had a duty to act morally
toward my daughter. Addison was clearly about to cry, but
I didn't want to deal with it. I drove off
after saying a brief goodbye and reminding her to find
another home. It was far more difficult to see her
in person than it was to text her. Even if
I felt like a bit of a jerk for leaving
like that, I don't regret anything, though it had to
be done. I'm staying with a friend for the time being,

(34:40):
with the hopes that Addison will find somewhere else within
the next few weeks. After she leaves, I can return
home and carry on with my life or whatever normal
will be going forward. Although it may take some time
to get over this, the bright side is that my
relationship with my daughter is stronger than it has ever been.
Our relationship has returned to its pre engagement state. There
are no secrets between us. She tells me everything about

(35:03):
her life once more. Seeing her chat eagerly about her
school day over our FaceTime today made it all worthwhile.
In a few weeks, we even have a beach vacation planned.
I think I could use the break, so I've invited
some friends with children her age to come along. Although
the last few weeks have been difficult, I have optimism
for brighter times to come. Now to the next story story.

(35:25):
Three parents funded siblings ignored me. I built my own success,
uncovered their betrayal, and chose a new family over being
the forgotten child. Hello Reddit, I need to talk about
something today. I'm twenty seven years old. I suppose you
could say that I've been the one ignored my entire life.
My younger brother, Chris twenty five million, and older sister

(35:46):
Sarah twenty nine feet are my siblings. It would be
an understatement to suggest that they were always the golden
children in my parents view. They could never do anything wrong,
but I was just there. Sarah excelled academically as a childild,
consistently receiving straight a's and participating in all school related
activities before attending a prestigious Ivy League university. It was

(36:08):
my parent's obsession. They couldn't stop raving about how delighted
they were the moment she received her admission letter. I promise.
They invited all of her relatives and friends to this
lavish celebration party. We felt as though we were celebrating
Sarah's academic achievement with a second Christmas. Chris, however, didn't
have to make a concerted effort. For him, everything just
appeared to go smoothly. Following Sarah's example, he enrolled in

(36:31):
a prestigious graduate program. My parents also ensured that everything
was prepared for him. They purchased him a new laptop,
helped him move, paid his tuition, and more. Then there
was me. I attended a state college instead of an
Ivy League school. Although it was a fine school, I
had the impression that my parents wouldn't boast about it
the way they did about Chris and Sarah. They kind

(36:53):
of nodded and muttered something like, that's great, Michael, when
I informed them I had been accepted, But I could
tell they weren't really into it. No party, no celebration.
If we ordered takeaway that night, I was lucky. I
made an effort to ignore it, But as I grew older,
I became more aware of how different things were for
me than for them. The money was just as important
as the attention. Consider the wedding of Sarah. Two hundred

(37:16):
thousand dollars is no laughing matter, the setting, the catering,
the dress. My parents went all out. They handled it
like it was the biggest thing ever. Some members of
our family were even flown in from out of state.
They covered all of Chris's graduate school expenses and provided
him with rent assistance until he was able to support himself.
They also took care of his educational loans, so he

(37:38):
didn't even need to worry about those. But me, I
asked my parents for assistance when I was just starting
out in my job and required some work related tools,
things that were necessary to even get started. I received
seven thousand dollars. Please understand that seven thousand dollars is
a substantial sum of money. However, it kind of hurts
when you contrast that with two hundred thousand dollars for

(37:58):
a wedding or fully covering some tuition. I felt like
I was only receiving the bare minimum so they could
claim to have been helpful, and it wasn't just the cash.
I always felt like the odd one out. Whenever our
family gathered together. Every discourse at family dinners revolved around
Chris's most recent accomplishment or Sarah's fancy job. As they
sat there, they would discuss their upcoming extravagant plans, vacations,

(38:21):
or improvements to their homes. I would be sitting there,
consuming my meal while attempting to come up with anything
to add to the discussion. What was I going to say? Though?
Really it seemed like my accomplishments paled in comparison to
what they were doing. Hey, I just finished a big
project at work, and I'm still paying off my car.
One dinner in particular, perhaps a year ago, comes to mind.

(38:42):
As was customary, the topic of conversation shifted to Sarah's
most recent travel plans as we were all seated around
the table. Oh, we're going to Europe for a few weeks,
she revealed nonchalantly as she sipped her drink. It's just
so nice that mom and dad are able to help
out with the expenses. Chris added his voice as well,
discussing some of the wedding expenses that were paid for.

(39:02):
In a casual tone, he remarked, I honestly don't know
what we would have done without that two hundred thousand dollars.
Emily immediately burst out laughing, saying thanks to our parents
covering everything, expressing her relief that the tuition hikes had
no effect on her. They seemed to be hammering their
words into my head as I sat there attempting to
concentrate on my plate. It wasn't just the money. I

(39:24):
had to work for my advancement and take out loans
to make ends meet, whereas they had their futures handed
to them. They pretended not to have to worry about it,
but every dollar seemed like a fight. The worst thing
I wasn't even included in the discourse, Yet nobody appeared
to notice. My face became hot, my hands clenched beneath
the table, and I could feel my irritation mounting. Until
I was unable to contain it any longer. I whispered

(39:46):
something to me, must be nice. There was silence in
the room. Everyone was watching me. It was Sarah who
spoke first, with a confused and annoyed expression on her face,
as if she couldn't even begin to comprehend why I
was unhappy, questioned, what's that supposed to mean? Michael? I
inhaled deeply while attempting to remain composed, but everything spilled

(40:07):
out quickly. It means that not all of us get
everything handed to us on a silver platter. Some of
us actually have to work for what we need. They
clearly didn't understand, as if it were no great issue.
Chris simply shrugged and relaxed back in his chair. He
smiled smugly and added, Michael, you're always acting like you're
the victim. Didn't Mom and Dad help you get those

(40:27):
tools for work that struck a chord. Even though they
gave me seven thousand dollars, it seems insignificant in comparison
to what they have done for Chris and Sarah. I said, yeah,
they helped firmly, but seven thousand compared to hundreds of thousands,
it's not the same, and you know it as usual.
Mom tried to diffuse the situation. Michael, we thought that's

(40:49):
what you needed. We've always tried to give you what
was fair. Fair, I asked, my voice bursting with resentment.
You think this is fair. You've given them everything, tactically
paved their roads for them, and I've had to build
mine brick by brick. From there, the discussion took a
turn for the worst. Everyone made an effort to justify
themselves and claim that I was exaggerating. Dad shook his

(41:11):
head and remarked, you're exaggerating this. No, I replied, you
gave me the minimum. That's the part that hurts the most.
You didn't care about what I wanted, only what you
thought was enough to keep me quiet. It was more
than I could handle. Without saying another word, I got
up and walked out of the room, my chair making
a loud scraping sound against the floor. I didn't turn around,

(41:33):
but their voices followed me as I left the room.
I was tired of constantly getting the leftovers and being
the one who was forgotten. That night, I was furious
and stormed out of the house. I don't believe I've
ever been that angry. My heart was thumping in my chest,
like if it were trying to escape. It seemed like
the world was closing in on me with each step
I took down the driveway. I had no idea where

(41:55):
I was heading. I simply knew that I had to
leave far away. It was late, maybe around ten o'clock,
and there was silence on the streets. You know that
spooky silence where everything seems a little too motionless. Yes,
that was it. As I went, the only sound was
the sound of my sneakers hitting the pavement. I wasn't
in the mood for distractions, so I didn't have my

(42:15):
phone out or my headphones on. I had to think.
I kept thinking about the supper while I was walking.
Chris's arrogant expression, Sarah's patronizing inquiries. They all seemed to
be living in a bubble of privilege and were unaware
of how oppressive it was for me. I was merely
an outsider with a window into their lovely little world.
My frustration grew as I gave it more attention. Why

(42:36):
didn't I say more was a question I kept asking myself.
Why didn't I actually give it to them? However, I
later came to the realization that my words would have
had no impact. Talking to a brick wall was like
that I had my version of what happened, and they
had theirs, and the two were never going to coincide.
I eventually made my way to the park where I
used to spend my childhood. The residence was only a

(42:57):
fifteen minute walk away. Some tree kind of obscured an
old bench in a spot next to the playground. It
was one of those locations you travel to when you
simply need to escape from everything, and I needed that.
I took a seat and simply gazed up at the
sky while leaning back against the chilly wood. On this
particular clear night, all the stars were visible. It would
normally be soothing to me, but that night it didn't help.

(43:20):
I couldn't stop thinking about how unfair everything was, how
I had spent my entire life striving to fit in,
only to be given scraps while my siblings had it all.
I briefly considered not glancing at my phone as it
buzzed in my pocket. However, my curiosity overcame me and
I took it out. It was Emily's text, of course, Michael,
where did you go? You need to come back. Let's

(43:41):
talk about this. Speak, yes, exactly. I have previously heard
that nothing in my family was ever resolved by talking.
The routine was always the same. Mom and Dad would
explain why things were the way they were, and I
would be told to accept it. However, I wasn't in
the mood for any more justifications this time. I stuffed
my phone back in my pocket without answering the text.

(44:03):
I began to mentally review everything as I sat there,
including the years I had been ignored and the times
I had felt like an afterthought. Even if I wasn't
a flawless child, I still didn't deserve to be treated
any less than the other kids. It wasn't truly about
the money. It was about being appreciated and seen. And
for whatever reason, my parents had come to the conclusion
that Sarah or Chris's wants and aspirations were more important

(44:26):
than mine. I'm not sure how long I sat there,
but eventually the cold began to set in. The nights
were growing colder, and fall was rapidly approaching. The wind
sliced through the thin material of my jacket as I
drew it firmly about myself. I considered going home, but
the notion of going back inside that house and confronting
them after everything that had transpired was too much to take.

(44:47):
I became aware of something while I sat there. I
was sick of battling for meager attention and support. I
wasn't just angry anymore. I decided then and there that
I was done. I'm done trying to fit into their
ideal little family photo and to get them to notice me.
With a renewed sense of resolve, I rose from the bench.
It was time to put myself first and create the

(45:07):
life I desired without continuously looking for their approval. I
didn't require their sympathy or handouts. I was determined to
make it myself and demonstrate to them what they had
been missing for years. I experienced an odd mixture of
relief and melancholy as I made my way back to
my flat. I was relieved that I was at last
taking charge of my own life, but I was also
sad about the familial relationship I was giving up. I

(45:30):
felt like I was headed in the right direction for
the first time in a long time, even though I
knew it wouldn't be simple. I took a seat at
my desk and began making plans as soon as I
arrived home. I was determined to put my all into
my profession and create something for myself. Maybe they'll realize
what they've been missing out on for years when I've
succeeded and reached my goals on my own terms. But
I had a job to do for the time being.

(45:52):
It was time to begin crafting my own narrative, one
in which I was more than a supporting character in
the accomplishments of others. I was prepared for the moment
that would be my chance to shine. First update. Since
my last post, which was around two years ago, a
lot has transpired. I made a choice that would change
the trajectory of my life. Following that terrible family supper,

(46:14):
I had had enough of being the afterthought and the
forgotten son. It was time to go out on my own,
free from my family's support or meddling. I approached my
task with a level of resolve I had never experienced before.
I began by working longer hours and taking on more
tasks and responsibilities at work. After my employer took note,
I received a promotion offer a few months later. Though

(46:35):
not very significant, it was a positive start. This company
idea had always been in the back of my thoughts.
I now concluded that the moment had come to turn
it into a reality. I planned, saved, and researched whenever
I had free time. I reduced all of my expenses,
including eating out, buying new clothes, and taking trips. I
invested every extra dollar in my company fund. I finally

(46:57):
got enough money to launch my firm after a year
or so of saving and planning. It was a digital
start up that specialized in creating small business software. The
initial months were harsh. I was working NonStop, attempting to
balance software development, customer meetings, and all of the administrative
duties involved in managing a company. After being impressed by
my work, a local business owner referred me to his network,

(47:19):
which was my first big break. All of a sudden,
I had more clients than I could manage alone. My
first employee was hired, followed by my second. I had
a tiny staff working for me. Before I realized it,
my confidence increased along with the business. I felt like
I was actually succeeding on my own terms. For the
first time in my life, I was no longer living
in the shadow of others. I was making something significant,

(47:42):
something wholly original. My family was aware of the change,
of course. Initially, Emily's texts were just inquisitive inquiries about
my well being. My answers were succinct and ambiguous. Then
followed the family get together invitations, which I graciously turned
down because of my professional obligations. The first person to
really push with Sarah one day she unexpectedly arrived at

(48:04):
my workplace. Sarah's eyes widened as she took in the
workplace when I walked out to the reception area. Although
it wasn't very ostentatious, it was contemporary, polished and obviously effective.
Her voice was a mixture of astonishment and something else
I couldn't quite pinpoint. When she said, Michael, this is amazing.
Why didn't you inform us of everything? I shrugged and

(48:26):
spoke in a neutral tone. I have been quite busy,
she scowled, obviously dissatisfied with my response. We have been
concerned for you. You no longer attend family dinners. We
hardly ever hear back from you. Their parents believe they
have done something incorrectly. I experienced a little twinge of guilt,
but then I recalled all those years of suffering and

(48:46):
feeling inferior as they navigated life with the help of
our parents. I said, I'm doing fine. Actually it's better
than fine. For a while, I simply had to concentrate
on my own life. My business kept expanding as the
months passed. We expanded our workforce and relocated to a
larger office. I even appeared as a rising entrepreneur to

(49:07):
watch in a local business publication. My phone was inundated
with text from my family on the day the piece
was published. They were all excited, proud, and celebratory. Alongside
those emotions, though I could feel their perplexity and perhaps
even a hint of hurt that they were reading about
my achievement in a magazine instead of directly from me.
None of the males received a response from me. A

(49:28):
part of me felt grim satisfaction, and another part felt guilt.
They were the ones on the outside looking in for
a change. It was them who were pondering, inquiring, and
attempting to comprehend. The next to get in touch was Chris.
One evening, as I was leaving the office, he called.
When I lifted him up, he said, hey, little brother,
no talk for a long time. I read that article

(49:50):
about your business. It was really amazing. I answered, in
a neutral tone. Thanks. A lot of work has gone
into this, but it's paying off. Look, he went on,
we miss you, dude, even though I know the family
has been acting strangely recently. This weekend, how about we
have supper together. We may congratulate your success and catch up.
I was tempted for a second. A part of me

(50:13):
missed my family in spite of everything. I thought back
to all those dinners though, where I felt invisible, all
the occasions when Chris or Sarah's accomplishments were highlighted above mine.
I said, thank you for the invitation, but I have
a lot of work to do right now. Perhaps at
a later day. Even though my accomplishment was fulfilling, I realized,
as I was driving home that evening that it hadn't

(50:34):
made things better with my family. It had, if anything,
made it wider. I was pleased with my accomplishments and
pleased that I had completed everything by myself. However, my
success came with a loneliness I hadn't expected. I wasn't
prepared to close that gap, though not quite yet. I
had been the family's afterthought for far too long. I
wasn't sure whether there was still space for them in

(50:56):
my own story, which I was now writing. I would
deal with whatever came next on my own terms. Second update.
About a year and a half has passed since my
last post, and my life has changed drastically once more.
The expansion of my tech company has surpassed my wildest expectations.
We now served mid sized businesses throughout the state as
part of our extended service offering. We were listed as

(51:18):
one of the top fifty startups to Watch in a
major business magazine last month. My phone was inundated with
congratulations the day the piece was published, but one in particular,
A voicemail from my mother stood out. Michael, Honey, it's mom.
We saw the article. Your father and I are so
proud of you. We'd love to talk if you have
a moment. Please call us back when you can. I

(51:40):
was taken aback. My parents hadn't spoken to me directly
in more than a year. I wasn't sure how to
react after so much time, so I didn't call back
right away. A week later, my assistant told me I
had guests when I was working late. I was shocked
to see my folks standing in the lobby. They appeared
older and more worn out than I had recalled. When
they saw me, their eyes glowed with a mixture of

(52:01):
pride and apprehension, but Mom's hair had more gray and
Dad's shoulders appeared to slump. Mom said hesitantly, Michael, we
hope you don't mind us dropping by like this. We
simply had to see you. I escorted them to my office,
where they gazed at the contemporary furnishings and the accolades
that lined the bookcases. They hadn't seen the struggling child
like that in a long time. This is really amazing, son,

(52:24):
Dad remarked, in a rough, emotional voice, You've accomplished a
lot for yourself. The uneasy silence was broken by Mom.
We must apologize to you, Michael. After much consideration, we've
come to the conclusion that we treated you differently from
your siblings. We sincerely apologize for not seeing it at
the time, but we do now. A lump formed in
my throat. I've been waiting so long to hear this,

(52:45):
but I wasn't sure how to react when the time came.
Dad bent over. We're proud of you, son, not only
for your accomplishments, but also for taking on this challenge alone.
We were oblivious to your abilities until you demonstrated them
to us. After that we spoke for a while. I
discovered that I was talking more about the setbacks and
victories over the previous few years. It was odd, but

(53:06):
in a way it felt perfect, like the puzzle pieces
were finally coming together. After a moment of hesitation, Mom continued,
there's something else we wanted to talk to you about, Michael.
As our conversation came to an end, we need your assistance. Immediately,
I felt my guard go up. What sort of assistance?
They looked at one other, and then Dad said something.

(53:27):
The family business is at issue, Son. We're in trouble.
We haven't kept up with the changes in the market.
Failure to upgrade promptly will put us in danger of
becoming bankrupt. Mom hurriedly added, especially after everything. We hate
to ask, however, we reason that given your technological and
business acumen. I sat back, feeling a lot of different emotions.

(53:49):
Even though their apology appeared genuine and I wanted to
get back in touch, I couldn't help but feel suspicious.
Was this the true cause of their unexpected arrival at last?
I answered, I need some time to think about this.
There's a lot to take in. With a hopeful yet
nervous expression, they nodded. Mom gave me a hard hug.
As I walked them out, she whispered, Michael, you are loved,

(54:12):
regardless of what you decide. I spent a lot of
time sitting in my office after they went, gazing out
at the city lights. I had put forth a lot
of effort to prove myself and get here. My family
was now requesting my assistance, right after I had achieved
the height of my prosperity. I didn't miss the irony.
There was a part of me that wanted to be
the greater person and offer them assistance. However, a part

(54:34):
of me that recalled years of feeling inferior, wanted to
say no, to let them know that I didn't need
them any more than they had needed me. I understood
that there was more at stake here than simply business.
It had to do with family, forgiveness, and the kind
of person I wanted to be. Whatever I chose would
influence not just how I interacted with my family, but
also the type of man I was growing into. With

(54:55):
my parents number displayed on the screen, I took out
my phone and gazed at it. Is Is it better
to call or not? Is it better to assist or not?
The later the night became, and the quieter the city below,
the more I thought about the choice Reddit, What would
you do? Do I still owe my family anything after
all of this? Or is it time to put this
chapter behind me for good? Third update? My parents requested

(55:18):
assistance with their failing business A month ago. I hired
a private investigator since something wasn't quite right. I was
shocked by what I found. Instead of failing, the family
firm was doing quite well. They had recently landed a
big deal. However, it wasn't all. Financial deception spanning years
was discovered by the investigator inflating the costs of Sarah

(55:39):
and Chris's education and marriages. My parents had been transferring
funds into personal accounts two hundred thousand dollars for Sarah's wedding,
a large portion of money was transferred to a covert
investing account in her name, Emily's tuition was actually paid
into a high yield savings account, and Chris had a
trust fund. In addition to favoring my siblings, they had
deliberately worked to see to cure their financial prosperity at

(56:01):
my expense. I was enraged the deliberate choice to keep
me out had been made during all those years of
feeling inferior and struggling while my siblings navigated life. I
summoned my legal staff to a meeting. There were certain
dubious tax strategies that could lead to issues if they
were discovered. Even if the majority of my parents' acts
fell into legal limbo, I invited my folks to come

(56:22):
to work with me. They came with a hopeful expression,
perhaps expecting me to assist them. When they saw my reaction,
their faces sank, I said, icily, sit down, we must speak.
I presented all that I had found. I saw their
expressions change from shock to guilt to dread with every
admission how did you accomplish this? With a trembling voice,

(56:43):
I asked, you were purposely keeping me down while uplifting
everyone else, even though I felt inadequate all these years.
Why my mom broke down in tears. According to my
father's explanation, they viewed me as the self sufficient, powerful one.
He spoke in a hollow voice, interrupt him, saying, I
don't want excuses. I want you to be aware of

(57:04):
what is about to happen. I informed them that I
had contacted the IRS anonymously about their dubious tax procedures. Additionally,
I had provided Sarah, Chris and Emily with proof of
how they had profited from our parents dishonesty. I remarked,
your ideal family image is about to fall apart, and
you can't buy your way out of it this time. Please, Michael,

(57:25):
my father pleaded, we can make this right. We'll put
things right. I chuckled, without humor. That's the issue, Dad,
You continue to believe that money can solve any problem. However,
you cannot purchase my forgiveness. The years I spent feeling
unworthy are irreplaceable. I got to my feet go now.
Never again do I want to hear from any of you.

(57:46):
I no longer consider myself to have a family. My
mother glanced back, crying as they walked away. You are loved, Michael,
we always have. I gave her a direct look. I
don't want to be involved if this is how you
define love. I stayed in my office for a while
after they left, feeling a mixture of relief, betrayal, and rage.
I was relieved that I could finally stop questioning my

(58:08):
value and that I knew the truth. Sarah, Chris, and
Emily sent me texts in the days that followed. Some
were irate, some beseeching. None of them received a response
from me. With fresh energy, I pushed myself back into
my work. My business kept expanding, and I discovered fulfillment
in coaching aspiring business owners from comparable backgrounds. Six months

(58:29):
have passed since that altercation. The pain of what I've lost,
or rather what I never truly had, still aches on
some days. Mostly though I feel liberated, free from the
burden of attempting to convince others of my value when
they never intended to. I am aware that some people
may believe that I was too severe and that the
family deserves forgiveness. However, I've discovered that leaving poisonous relationships,

(58:52):
even ones that include your own blood, can occasionally be
the healthiest course of action. To everyone who has ever
felt like the odd one out, know that you value
is not based on how your family views you. You
possess the ability to craft your own narrative, generate your
own achievements, and locate those who will appreciate you for
who you are. For my part, I'm concentrating on creating
my chosen family, which consists of friends and coworkers that

(59:15):
encourage me, share in my accomplishments without feeling envious, and
support me during difficult times without keeping score. Regardless of
our backgrounds or experiences, Let's celebrate fresh starts, chosen families,
and creating our own narratives. We have the power to
influence the future, and I'm eager to see where that
takes us. Now on to the next story. Story four,

(59:36):
Am I the asshole for jumping out of the way
when my niece and nephew tried to push me into
a pool, causing them to fall in instead. Original post
Op reluctantly goes to a family bbq. Op's nephews and
nieces push people into the pool and eventually try with OP.
OP sees this coming from a mile away and steps
out of the way and the kids fall in, along
with the phone they were holding to record. Ope's sisters

(59:59):
got pissed for almost letting their kids drown, and because
the phone is now at the bottom of the pool,
they insist that OP should have let the kids push
him into the pool and OP needs to apologize. OP
is voted nta update post. Op spends the first part
of this post explaining that the kids were fully capable
of swimming and that the party ended on a sour note.
Turns out drunk bl who face planted had to get stitches.

(01:00:22):
Sisters and Bill's texted meanshit to Oobie and he and
his wife blocked them. Mom and Dad were pissed at
the texts and made the sisters apologize and end this nonsense.
OPI thought things were over, but instead gets a text
from one Bill saying OOP needs to reimburse them for
the phone. OP refuses, sends a screenshot to his parents
and says he's going no contact with sisters. In what

(01:00:42):
OP says is an out of character move. Dad calls
sisters and rips them a new one. Grandkids are no
longer welcome at their place indefinitely, which messes up the
free babysitting. Mom provides they are banned from the vacation house,
and he tells them that Oop owns that vacation house,
not the parents. Sisters freak out. Sisters and husbands come
over unannounced to apologize. A few days later, Op and

(01:01:05):
wife are out at dinner, so they leave a note.
OP decides no contact is the best option for now.
Update two, Well, it's been an interesting last few days.
I thought the shit had hit the fan before, but
it was more of a fart compared to what's happened
this week. TLDR. Op provides financial context here. Op's sisters
think parents are dripping in money, when in fact they

(01:01:26):
are not. Turns out, oldest sis and her fam have
been living beyond their means and are in need of
a loan which parents can't give. She's also been renting
out the vacation house once a month or so for
the last three years and has been keeping the money.
Another sister was aware of this and possibly has rented
it out previously as well. Op's parents feel awful and
let OP know They figure that the sisters will try

(01:01:47):
to convince OOP to let them rent out the house.
Turns out their right. The sisters show up and practically
force their way inside Op's house to convince them to
let them use the place. They also say, quoting from
OP here, I've been a shitty brother and that I
needed to step up and plan on paying for their
kids college tuition since that's what family does. OP calls

(01:02:08):
them out on their bullshit and there's a huge blow
up and the sisters leave. OP is exhausted, frustrated, and drained.
Update three TLDR. Op's parents decide they're done managing the
vacation home, keeping track of who was using it, routine maintenance, etc.
Because sisters keep pressuring them to use it. Oap feels
bad for his parents because he wanted them to be

(01:02:29):
able to use it regularly and now dynamics have changed.
But he gets it. Uplocks the gate with a heavy
duty chain and lock, resets all keypads and creates new codes,
gets security cameras, and has signs put up saying the
area is monitored by video. OAP gets a call from
both husbands trying to convince him to let them use
the house like they always have. The older BL tried

(01:02:49):
to go up with some friends but couldn't get in.
He threatens on the phone to basically break in and
acts completely entitled. Other BL sounds like he is being
made to call by sister. OP obvious says no and
considers selling the home. He also has no plans to
initiate contact with sisters and they are not talking with him.
Update four tldr Ophire's a Guide to manage look after

(01:03:11):
the vacation Home. Parents are continually pressured by sisters to
tell OP to open up the vacation home for Thanksgiving.
They refused and instead said they would organize a gathering
at an Airbnb if everyone split the cost, otherwise they
would host it their place. This causes an argument because
the middle sister is for Airbnb and the oldest sister
doesn't have any money, so Thanksgiving will be at my

(01:03:33):
parents' house, but OOP and wife won't be there. Parents
ask OOP to not sell for now, as they would
like to still use the place, but won't until sisters
have come to terms with the new normal. Wife and
OP have stayed no contact with sisters, but they have
called and left messages, OOP says, f you Google voice
demanding OP meets with them and work out how everyone
can use the family vacation home. OOP doesn't respond. OP

(01:03:57):
also does not plan to turn the vacation home into Airbnb.
This part is directly from the post. My parents tell
me that the oldest sister and her husband are getting
out of the leases for their suv and big ass
truck and are selling their jet skis and some other
shit they've never needed. That's going to be really hard
on her. She's quite the braggart and won't like being
seen in something older, smaller, cheaper. My Bill's identity is

(01:04:20):
very much wrapped up with his truck as well. He
even has a small tattoo of the truck company's logo,
which frankly is one of the many reasons why he
and I never hung out. Update five Things have Gone
to Hell. I really truly did not think anything like
this would happen. Short version. My brothers in law broke
into my vacation home and were arrested. They've been charged

(01:04:40):
with breaking and entering, destruction of property, and communicating threats,
all Class one misdemeanors. I've refused to drop the charges
I might do so if I'm fully paid for the
damage they cost. They were still in jail as of
Saturday evening. I assume they're out by now. Editor's note
my TLDR of the next part of the post. Bills
went to the vacation home and cut through the chain,

(01:05:01):
damaged the gate. They messed up the front door trying
to get in, ended up getting through another door, and
then broke into the barn. David, the guy Oop hired
to manage the home, called the cops. Cops didn't buy
Bill's excuses that they were allowed, and Oop was unreachable
at the moment due to spending the day with his
wife's family and leaving the phones in the car. Bills
were booked at the sheriff's office. Sisters freaked out, but

(01:05:23):
Oop had them blocked. Older sister couldn't afford bail because
their cards were maxed out, so middle sis would have
to pay for everything Open. His wife checked their phones
laid on Friday on their way home and found that
Mom and Dad, the sheriff's department, and David had all
called up. Called David when he got home and found
out the extent of the damage. He ended Friday calling
the Sheriff's department and telling them it wasn't a misunderstanding

(01:05:45):
and that Bills did not have his permission to be
there from op's post. I waited until Saturday afternoon to
call my folks. They were both pretty rattled about it all,
my mom in particular. My sisters had browbeat them into
telling me I should tell the cops it was all
a mistake and that I I wanted the charges dropped.
I refused flat out told them there was no way
I'd do that until I spoke with an attorney, and

(01:06:05):
also not until I was paid in full for whatever
it will cost to fix everything one hundred percent. My
mom was crying hard by the time we got off
the phone, which of course made me feel like shit.
My dad suggested it was time for a complete start over,
but also said he thought they needed to pay for
the damage. I haven't gone up to the property yet.
There's nothing I can do, and I'll probably go nuts
when I see the damage in person. The photos are

(01:06:27):
bad enough. I'm hoping for tomorrow or Wednesday, but my
job isn't one I can just wander off from for
non emergencies. I've left messages with two attorney friends, asking
them to recommend the right lawyers to go after my
sisters and bils. I don't know what I can do exactly,
but I'm hoping to get restraining orders. I have all
the texts they've sent me that might help. I'm strongly

(01:06:47):
considering suing them for the money they made renting the place.
I don't care about the cash, but it will help
make them as miserable as possible. The gloves are definitely
off at this point. A couple of side notes. Bill's
had no idea I'd hired someone to keep an eye
on things, or that there are cameras there now. My
parents knew, but hadn't told them because they knew it
would just give my sisters a reason to drama up.

(01:07:08):
There are signs on the property stating it's being monitored
with cameras and no trespassing signs. Though my wife has
completely had it at this point, I don't blame her.
She's been more than patient about it all, but she
reached her limit and was not shy about letting me know.
She told me it's up to me how I deal
with this, but that she thought they all needed to
be taught a hard lesson. Older BL likely won't face

(01:07:28):
any repercussions at his job over this, but Middle BL
has a security clearance, so he might. I'm hoping that
will be motivation for Middle Bill to pay for the
damages himself immediately. David the caretaker has an interesting background.
I knew he was friends with some of the deputies.
Figured it was because they were all locals. I was wrong.
He was a cop in a big city for years,

(01:07:49):
was shot on duty, and afterwards decided to quit and
move to where his parents had retired. He has some
PTSD over it all. His dog is a certified service
animal and is usually with him. I know law enforcement
people tend to hang together. I guess that's how they
became his friend group. I don't want to see or
speak with these a holes for the rest of my life.
I know this is in direct conflict with my overwhelming

(01:08:10):
urge to make their lives as miserable as possible. Update
six didn't think i'd be doing another post this soon,
but a lot has happened over the past two days.
Short version. I think the corner has been turned on
this crap. Thursday afternoon, I got a courier delivered envelope
at my office. In it was a signed letter from
both my brothers in law and a cashier's check for

(01:08:30):
five thousand dollars. In the letter, they made what I
have to say was a really sincere apology. Among other things,
they acknowledged breaking in, acknowledged it was wrong, said the
five thousand dollars was to pay for the damage and
that they'd pay more if it cost more than that.
Also said they'd stay away from the vacation home unless
my wife and I specifically invited them. They also asked
that I'd do what I could to get the charges

(01:08:52):
dropped as soon as possible because they both could lose
their jobs, and that they'd agree to a restraining order
or whatever else it took for that to happen. There
was more, well, all conciliatory, but that's the gist of it.
To say this was a shock as an understatement, it
was obviously a total one hundred eighty from their past behavior.
I'd already made an appointment with an attorney to see

(01:09:12):
about suing my bils over the damage and to try
to get a restraining order. I called him and told
him what I'd just received, and he agreed to meet
with me at the end of the day instead of
next week, told me not to deposit the check. We
met for about two hours. He ended up recommending the
wife and I do a settlement and mutual release agreement
with all four of them, sisters and bils. He said

(01:09:32):
if we went after them via a lawsuit that we'd
almost certainly win, but that it could take two years
or more, there would be sizeable upfront legal fees, and
that we might never see any money. He also said
we could keep the five thousand dollars free and clear
even if we didn't let them off the hook. He's
drawing up the agreement. It won't be ready until Monday.
The agreement will include what's essentially the civil equivalent of
a restraining order. I'd already asked my property manager to

(01:09:55):
work up a bid to get the damage repaired. I
called him after the meeting and asked that he get
me me as close to an estimate as possible asap.
Got that Friday. He thinks it will take around four
thousand dollars to fix everything. Most of that is for
the front door. On Friday, my attorney contacted each of
the bils, told them what we were proposing and advised
them to get their own lawyers. They both agreed to it.

(01:10:17):
The middle Bill told him they could afford to either
pay for the damages or pay for a lawyer, but
not both, and they figured a lawyer wouldn't make any
difference given that they really had no defense for what
they did. His biggest concern was if the charges could
be dropped. From what I can tell, they're willing to
do anything, sign anything to make this all go away.
My attorney also called the DA's office on Friday to

(01:10:37):
discuss dismissing the charges, got the name of the prosecutor
and left them a message, but has not spoken to
them yet. He thinks they'll dismiss the charges because the
bills are paying up and they have no priors, but
then again, he's not a criminal. Lawyer. Also said I
should be prepared to drive up their Monday or Tuesday
and tell the prosecutor in person that I want everything dismissed.
He's also advised me to continue to be no contact

(01:10:58):
with sisters in Bils's, especially for the next six months,
and that it will be really important to follow the
terms of the agreement when it comes to future interactions
with them. I'm guessing that the bil's change of heart
is due to them having figured out what's at stake
for them, what it's going to cost them in legal
fees and fines and so on. There's also the highly
unlikely possibility that they could go to jail for up
to one hundred and twenty days, and as I've mentioned,

(01:11:21):
one of them has a security clearance for his job
that could be at risk. So this is their hail
Mary pass to keep their normal lives. This isn't a
perfect resolution to the situation, but at least it will
get me past the legal and financial parts of the
shit show that I've been in for the past few months.
I doubt I'll ever have a civil relationship with any
of them ever again, and that's fine. What I want
most at this point is to close this off, get

(01:11:42):
on with my life, and never speak to any of
them again. I'm exhausted from this. Wife feels pretty much
the same way. Kind of a side issue, but getting
the written apology was weirdly a huge moment for me.
I wasn't expecting that, ever, but apparently it matters to
me quite a bit. The money doesn't feel particularly important
at this moment, I'll damn sure take it though. Also,

(01:12:02):
I'm pretty certain my middle sister and her husband came
up with the money. The cashier's check is from the
credit union of the company he works for. Once things
are signed, I plan to make one more update, probably
just an edit to this post. I'm sorry for being
so pedantic. Writing these posts has helped clear my head,
and the feedback has really helped. I truly appreciate everyone's comments, insights,

(01:12:23):
and support, and I really really hope none of you
ever have to go through this kind of nonsense. Update
seven Tuesday morning, I met with my attorney and went
over the agreement, changed a couple of minor things, and
he sent it to my sisters and brothers in law.
It included a requirement that they pay my attorney's fee
about three thousand dollars. They weren't happy about that and

(01:12:44):
tried to negotiate it away, but he told them they
either accepted as is or there would be no deal
at all, and we'd proceed with suing them for the
money they got from renting out the place, wear and
tear from renting it, repair costs from their break in
emotional distress, lost income from having to deal with this
attorney fees, and whatever ever else we could. He also
told them I would push hard with the DA's office
to prosecute every charge short version they came in and signed.

(01:13:07):
I wasn't there. I'm told it was a pretty tense environment,
that the middle bial appeared to have taken charge, and
that at one point he told both of my sisters
to shut the hell up or he was walking away
from the whole thing making his own deal with us,
and the rest of them could all go to hell.
They provided another cashier's check for two thousand, five hundred dollars,
claiming that's all they had. It's close enough that we're
going to accept it as the final payment. Attorney also

(01:13:30):
told me that everyone was very cold and kurt towards
one another, but that they all managed to keep it
together long enough to sign and left without making too
big of a scene. I drove up to the vacation
house early yesterday to check out the damage and meet
with the DA's office. Seeing the damage made my blood boil.
It was so senseless. I was so pissed that I
was ready to eat the cost of repairs and do
everything I could to ruin their lives. Tried walking it off,

(01:13:54):
failed utterly. Ended up calling a good friend who was
kind enough to stay on the phone for over an
hour letting me spew and vent. He eventually got me
back to focusing on the bigger picture of putting this
behind me and getting on with my life. Honestly, I'm
still not sure that's what I want to do. But
I settled down enough to get some food in me,
and I felt better. After lunch, I went to the
DA's office. Hadn't made an appointment and had to wait awhile,

(01:14:15):
but got to meet with the assistant DA who's got
the case. Short version is that since I don't want
to prosecute and the Bils have already paid for the damages,
that they are willing to drop all the charges except trespassing,
which in this case will be a Class two misdemeanor.
The Bils will have to plead guilty and pay whatever
fine the judge sets. I'm also told that if they
fight the trespassing charge, or ever so much as fart

(01:14:36):
in public up there, that it would go very poorly
for them. It helped that the Bils didn't resist a rest.
If they had, none of the charges would have been dropped.
I also went by the Sheriff's office to thank them
for getting there so quickly. In everything, wanted to thank
the deputies personally, but only spoke to the dispatch person,
and I tried to meet up with David, the property manager,
but couldn't get hold of him. A couple of notes.

(01:14:59):
The agreement included no contact clause. Basically, if any of
them show up where my wife or I are, or
the other way around, whoever got there last has to
leave immediately, no contact except through attorneys or other mutually
agreed upon third parties. They get to keep whatever they
made from renting the vacation house my big give unless
I have tax consequences, which they will be responsible for,

(01:15:20):
and we release each other from all other liabilities up
through the present. There's more to it than that, but
those are the high points. Wife and I will sign
the agreement later today. After that, I can't talk about
most of this, but I can talk around it. I
think this is my final update regarding all this nonsense,
but I'll respond to comments if I can. As I've
said before, posting about all of this and reading folks

(01:15:41):
thoughts and responses has been really helpful. And has probably
been key in my being able to handle this in
a relatively healthy way. So thank you all again. Update
eight thought it would be worth an update for anyone
who's interested. Unsurprisingly, my oldest sister and brother in law
have filed for Chapter seven bankruptcy. While I don't care
about what happens to them financially or otherwise, they've also

(01:16:01):
managed to drag my parents into their mess, which I'm
not happy about. At the start of the year, my
Bil's oversized customized Pride and Joy truck was repossessed, pretty
embarrassing for him. I'm sure happened at work. This was
their breaking point. Without the truck, they have to share
a key on my parents loan them and they can
barely fit in it with their three kids. Financially, they're ft.

(01:16:22):
They owe at least one hundred twenty five thousand dollars,
probably more on high interest credit cards. They have zero
equity in their house and have a couple of personal
loans that I'm pretty certain they got under false pretenses.
They have loans on their jet skis, ATVs, and trailers.
They also owe a chunk of money from defaulting on
the truck lease. They hadn't made any payments on their
credit cards or loans in months, and were behind on

(01:16:44):
their house payments as well. They got out of the
lease on my sister's massive SUV late last year. They
were upside down on it as well, so had to
come up with cash to do so. They also had
to pay an attorney the fine and court costs for
my bil's trespassing charge at the vacation house, and they
owe my middle sister and her husband money for bail
and their portion of the damages to the place. As

(01:17:05):
I've mentioned before, my folks have never been financial wizards,
but they have at least been generally responsible. They're retired,
their home is paid off, and they live off of
Social Security and pensions. Altogether, they get more than they
spend minimal savings just an emergency fund. Turns out, my
folks emptied out that fund, cashed out their small IRA
twenty thousand dollars and gave it to my sister That

(01:17:28):
let her catch up on the house payment and cover
the negative equity on her carles. But now literally every
bit of savings my parents possessed is gone. Plus my
parents have been paying for their groceries for several months
and continue to pay the insurance on the car they
loaned my sister. According to my dad, my sisters worked
my mom for weeks to get her to fork over
the money. They'd worked on both my folks at the
same time for a while, but my dad flat out

(01:17:50):
refused every time. Eventually Mom caved. She was worried that
my sister would have to move to a hovel in
some backwater town and that the kids would be barefoot
in eating dirt. Dad's not have it, and to say
there's some tension between them right now as an understatement,
but they'll be fine. I was pretty disappointed when my
parents told me all this, but I wasn't surprised. It
sucks that that they emptied out their savings to help,

(01:18:12):
but I kind of get it the way the bankruptcy
laws are in our state. By getting caught up on
the home loan, my sister should be able to keep
the house. I tried hard not to say how I
felt about this, and my sisters mostly succeeded. Really, I'm
way more pissed about this than I should be. The
worst part for me is that my sister and Bil
could now contact me and my wife without any real
fear of repercussions. The only penalty that no contact agreement

(01:18:35):
has is that if they violated, we can go after
them for the money they made from renting out the
vacation house and related damages. Since they've filed for bankruptcy,
that's now not an impediment for them. I'm hoping they'll
leave us alone, but who knows. Folks also told me
that my middle sister and her husband have hit a
rough spot and that he's not currently living with her
and the kids. Just to guess, but I imagine he's

(01:18:56):
had it with the whole family dynamic that caused this
nonsense directly related, but on a brighter note, I've spent
two weekends at the Mountain House since the start of
the year, once with my wife and once alone. Both
times there was a lot of snow. It was incredibly
beautiful and relaxing, very therapeutic. The place also has good
internet service now thanks Darlink, which is nice. Plus. Knowing

(01:19:19):
that I can count on David, the property manager to
keep the place in shape ready for us to visit
and to help if we get snowed, and eliminates most
of the stress in owning it My folks have used
it a few times as well and get along great
with David relevant comments. Could you get a restraining order
if they start up again. I do indeed plan to
get a restraining order. In fact, my wife made it

(01:19:40):
clear to me she expects a very hard approach to
any bs from them going forward, which I agree with.
Of course. I had the security cameras at our house
upgraded at the start of the year just in case
they come by. I also kept all their previous texts
and provided screenshots to my attorney for safekeeping. If they
cause any trouble at the vacation house, their toast. The
Sheriff's department and DA office have the full story and

(01:20:01):
are sympathetic to our situation. One hundred twenty five thousand
dollars on credit cards. One hundred twenty five thousand dollars
is my estimate based on my sister telling my parents
they were racking up least three thousand dollars per month
just in credit card interest. She thought it might be more.
Their credit was already crap before the bankruptcy, so I'm
guessing they might be paying as high as twenty eight

(01:20:21):
percent interest. If so, they'd owe about one hundred twenty
five thousand dollars. If they're paying a lower interest rate,
the principle would be higher. But yeah, it's an absurd amount,
and that three thousand dollars doesn't include all the other
interests they're paying, And of course there's the principle that
just sits there. On the other hand, I'm told they
had a great time going to Disney World for a week,
So there's that middle Bill. Younger Bill seems to be

(01:20:44):
more decent than I've given him credit for in the past.
I'll admit to a bit of myopia. For years I've
seen the four of them and their kids is just
one mass of inconvenient people I have nothing in common
with but can't avoid. But he seems to have hit
his limit and made some changes. Hope it works out
for him and that he pulls my sister in the
right direction. How sisters got so entitled? My sisters and

(01:21:05):
I weren't raised to be like they are. When I
was young, they weren't any more self entitled than any
other teenagers. We all worked crappy teenage jobs, didn't get spoiled.
It was really a very standard suburban upbringing. We weren't
super close, but we weren't enemies. Somewhere along the line
after going off to college, they changed for the worse.
I guess it could be worse. They could have become

(01:21:27):
drug addicts or militant vegan volcano worshipers or whatever. But
they sure became people I don't want to be around.
And yes, the pool incident was the spark for the meltdown,
but the fuel had been accumulating for years. It would
have come out at some point that she was renting
the house out on the Sly and things would have
gone to hell then, just like they did now. Update nine.
There's been a fair number of requests for an update,

(01:21:48):
and considering it's coming up on the one year anniversary
of the pool incident, I thought i'd post one. My
folks worked through Mom, giving my oldest sister, her Ira
and their emergency fund altogether. Mom gave her forty five
thousand dollars. According to Dad, once Mom realized how much
she'd been manipulated, she got as mad and upset as
he'd ever seen her. I think she had a moment
of clarity. She and Dad ended up calling my sisters

(01:22:10):
on a three way call, and according to Dad, it
went south pretty quickly. Sisters were gaslighting them. Mom lost
her cool and ended up ripping into them hard. There
were lots of tears, and eventually both sisters hung up.
Mom really just wanted both sisters to acknowledge that they'd
put her and Dad in a risky financial situation. Typical
blow up, I guess, but not the kind of thing
that happens in our family. The next morning, my dad

(01:22:32):
called my older sister and told her he'd be picking
up the car they'd loaned her. She tried to argue,
but he told her it wasn't up for discussion. He
got a neighbor friend to take him to her house
as soon as he hung up, and drove it home
without talking to her. Sister called and went off on him,
said lots of nasty stuff, which of course hurt him,
but at least they have the car back. Dad also
told me something that left me dumbfounded. For the last

(01:22:54):
seventeen years, they were giving both sisters a grocery allowance
that was up to five hundred dollars per month. What
the fing f. I'd thought I had a pretty good
handle on where their money was going, but clearly I
was wrong. This started back when I was going to
graduate school and living at home. My sisters asked for
the money because they thought it wasn't fair that I
was living at home rent free, and then it just

(01:23:15):
never ended. In any case, my parents cut them off. Unsurprisingly,
my sisters weren't happy about it. Who the hell gets
an allowance from their parents when they're in their forties.
Because of all this, my folks and sisters quit talking
for a while. Don't know if they've resolved everything, but
they appear to be on speaking terms again. Though my
folks aren't having them or the kids over. I'm in

(01:23:35):
don't ask mode, it's their business. My folks are using
the vacation home fairly regularly. Currently they're there for a
two weeks stay and we'll probably make it three. Unfortunately,
my wife and I haven't spent any time there lately,
other than me having made a couple of day trips
to check on it and drop off some supplies. The
property manager I hired, David, is still taking good care

(01:23:55):
of the place. Side note, middle sister told my mom
that the oldest sister had been making over over six
thousand dollars per month renting the house out and that
it had been going on for nearly three years. Pretty
certain she didn't declare the income, so that's like grossing
eight thousand to nine thousand dollars per month. I will
forever find that galling oldest sister and Bil still have
their house. My attorney checked up on their bankruptcy case.

(01:24:18):
The court converted it from chapter seven to chapter thirteen,
which I believe means they have to pay back a
lot more of their debts. Middle sister and her husband
are still separated. I don't know if my middle Bill
has had any issues with his security clearance because of
breaking into the house. I do know he's still with
the same big defense company. At my parents' request, I've
been working on putting their house into a trust. They

(01:24:38):
want me to manage their affairs as they get older
and keep the house safe from my sisters. I'm working
with an attorney, but it's not done yet. Folks have
asked me to be the trustee and have also given
me full power of attorney. The best part about the
last few months is that my sisters Bills have left
us alone and have stayed away from the vacation home.
Wife and I are really happy to be back to
our normal lives. Everyone else's lives are going great. Update

(01:25:02):
ten December fourteenth, twenty twenty four. Some folks have asked
for an update. Here you go. In August, my attorney
let me know he'd received a letter from me from
my middle brother in law. This was the first contact
from any of my sisters or their husband since they'd
been arrested. It was a long letter, had a sincere
apology and a lot of information he thought I should know.

(01:25:23):
Biggest thing was that he and my sister are divorced,
not separated. He moved out and filed for divorce right
after we made the settlement agreement. He and my middle
sister kept it quiet until it was done. Their house
sold in June, and she's moved to an apartment. He
told me that his being arrested last year along with
my other bil for breaking into the vacation house, could
have cost him his job and killed his career, and

(01:25:44):
that it was a huge moment of clarity. He said
that the dynamic between the four of them, my sisters, him,
and my oldest sister's husband had become totally toxic, that
they are all borderline alcoholics, are worse, and that he
had to get away from that environment. He no longer
speaks to my oldest sister or her husband. He also
asked if he, my dad, and I could meet and
have an extended conversation, as there were things he needed

(01:26:06):
to talk about in person. Frankly, I was unenthused, but
my wife thought it was worth doing. I asked my
dad if he was interested. He was, so I relate
a response to now ex Bill through my attorney and
we met over lunch. We talked for over two hours.
It was pretty exhausting. X Bill looked better than I'd
seen him in well forever. He's quit drinking, is in therapy,

(01:26:28):
has lost a lot of weight, and looked fit. He
was apologetic about all the bs he'd been involved in
and apologized to my dad for hiding the divorce. Told
us therapy is really helping him. Asked me if the
five thousand dollars he'd sent covered all the damage to
the vacation house. I told him it had, and thanked
me for talking to the county prosecutor. Said he is
strongly considering transferring to a new project that would have

(01:26:49):
him living overseas for the next few years, that he
really needed to reset his life. But he was trying
to balance his mental health against not being part of
his kids lives every day. X Bill also hit us
with what for me was quite the WTF. Apparently my
sisters have hated me since before I was born, but
have always hidden it from the rest of us. They
liked things better when there were just the two of them,

(01:27:11):
he said, when they drank, which was whenever they were together.
My sisters would often bitch about me being the favorite child,
how my folks gave me more opportunities than they had,
how my doing well was a result of that, and
that I didn't deserve my success. None of that made
any sense to me or my dad. All three of
us went to the same public schools, had dumb part
time jobs, et cetera. My folks paid for one hundred

(01:27:32):
percent of their college, not mine. I got a full scholarship.
I was pretty shocked by this, but my dad was
literally speechless. Dad eventually said he had no clue they
felt that way as kids, and that he and Mom
had never favored any of us. He's still having a
hard time with this personally. I'm embarrassed that I was
clueless about it all my life, but it does explain
a lot. Ex Bill warned us that my sisters and

(01:27:54):
remaining bil intended to put on a full court press
to alienate my folks for my wife and me. They
also planned to keep the grand kids away from my
folks to pressure them. He said that there's still one
thousand percent convinced that my folks are sitting on a
ton of money. They want some of it asap and
are sure I'd stop my folks from giving them anything.
That got a laugh out of my dad because he
and Mom simply don't have any real money. They do

(01:28:16):
have their house, of course. Ex Bill also told us
that he and my middle sister had rented out the
vacation house a total of six times over the years.
He offered to pay me what they'd made. I declined
and told him it was in the past. He also
told us my older sister, Bill had never declared the
income from renting out the vacation house. He did he
didn't want to get in trouble with the irs. Both

(01:28:36):
my dad and I spoke with x Bill separately for
a few minutes. Don't know what they talked about. I
thanked him for his apology and for making things right financially.
Also wished him well and told him I'd be willing
to talk with him again down the road. Don't think
that's going to happen. I probably could have been more forgiving,
but I think he appreciated me not bullshitting him by
acting like all this crap hasn't affected my wife and me.

(01:28:58):
There was more, but it's lessen important and this is
too long as it is. After x BO left, I
asked my dad if he Mom and I could sit
down and talk about all this. I didn't mean immediately,
but that's how he took it. He called Mom and
let her know I was coming over, so I rolled
with it. She was pretty hurt by my sister's plans
to ruin her and dad's relationship with me and my
wife and to use the grandkids as pawns. She cried

(01:29:20):
a lot and wanted to confront them immediately. Dad got
her to put a pin in that for a while.
Mom was also dumbfounded about me supposedly being the favorite child.
She feels like they were actually more strict with me
because I had a hard curfew and my sisters didn't.
To be honest, I barely remember that it was twenty
five years ago. A couple of side notes. Middle sister

(01:29:40):
eventually told our folks she's divorced. She's currently living off
child support and her half of the home sale. Supposedly
she's trying to find a job. My parents have gone
low contact with both sisters. No idea how permanent that is,
but Mom seems like she's completely had it with them
for the foreseeable future. They're spending a lot of time
at the vacation house. Were up there for a month.

(01:30:00):
At one point. Ex Bill found my Reddit posts. He's
not terribly happy about them, but feels they're more or
less accurate, though obviously he found them slanted towards my
point of view. He disagreed that he's boring, but said,
to be fair that he finds me boring as well.
I can live with that. Our worlds don't have much
overlap except my sister. We got the trust set up
for my parents' house. I'm the trustee. All this has

(01:30:22):
been emotionally draining for me. I decided it would be
a good idea for me to see a therapist again.
I've seen one in the past, mainly for stress related issues.
I've been doing so for a while and it's definitely helpful.
Therapist tells me my decision to stay no contact with
my siblings is healthy for now, but also wants me
to keep an open mind down the road. Now to

(01:30:43):
the next story. Five, Am I the asshole for wanting
to report my doctor who is my sister's best friend,
for telling her I'm on vivance a hip of violation.
My oldest sister's lifelong best friend has been my doctor
for a couple of years. Initially, my doctor, doctor A,
was a colleague of hers for the same clinic, but
after my doctor, doctor A was away on maternity leave,

(01:31:03):
I temporarily switched to my sister's friend, doctor B as
my primary physician, and it's been that way since the
pandemic began, and I never switched back. I have ADHD
and get prescription meds for it, and have been for
a few years now, something I haven't shared with any
of my family members for fear of backlash, since I
come from a long line of Type A overachievers who
don't believe in ADHD and write it off as laziness.

(01:31:25):
A few days ago, my siblings and I were hanging
out at my sister's house watching the Matthew Perry. Diane
sawyer episode where he shares his history with substance about
and I made a comment about how skinny he looked
during one of the seasons of Friends. My sister then,
out of nowhere, says to me, well, it started with
prescription drugs, so I hope you don't get hooked. I
was instantly gripped with a feeling of absolute horror. My

(01:31:47):
other siblings were confused and looking at her for further clarification,
but she didn't say anything more. I spent the whole
night just frozen and with a deep pit in my stomach. Later,
when I found some time alone with her, I had
to pry the information out of her. She had just
gotten back from a girl's ski trip, and when they
were extremely drunk, her friend, my doctor b slipped up
and mentioned that she saw me recently for an increase

(01:32:09):
in my dosage, and basically revealed to my sister that
I have been taking prescription vivans for a few years now.
I'm so livid, feel utter betrayal, and have a strong
urge to report her for breaking hippay regulations. My sister
won't stop texting and calling me about it. Literally all
day long, begging me not to ruin her friend's life
forever after years of hard work. She's obviously worried about

(01:32:29):
losing her friend, but she couldn't care less about how
disrespected I feel and how my privacy was violated. And
more than anything, I worry that my sister will share
it with my parents, and my family will never look
at me or my achievements the same. Eta a little
more info, I've known doctor B my entire life as
long as my sister has. She was my sister's friend
since they were in first grade, and they've remained close,

(01:32:51):
and we've hung out with our families on multiple occasions
over the years. We've even gone on trips together, including
my sister's bachelorette. I always looked up to her and
found her cool growing up. She and my sister both
have kids around the same age and they're close as well.
She currently brings in the bigger chunk of the income
in their family and they rely on it, and my
sister keeps reminding me that I'm also ruining two innocent

(01:33:11):
children's lives in the process, which is the only thing
I feel guilty about. I adore those kids and they
don't deserve that, but I also cannot get over how
betrayed I feel. I always keep a safe distance between
personal and professional relationships and would have never picked her
to be my doctor had the circumstances not unfolded the
way it did. She was the next best doctor and
was the obvious choice because I wasn't really looking to

(01:33:33):
switch to a new clinic during the pandemic. Relevant comments
oop on her sister's personality. Doctor B doesn't know what
my sister told me yet. So far, it's just been
conversations between my sister and I. She's making it seem
like they were so sloppy drunk that it was a
slip up and a complete, one time, total accident. But
I don't understand why that would even come up at all,
and don't believe that. My older sister flaunting sensitive info

(01:33:56):
about my sibs and I as a tale as old
as time. When we were kids, she would hold onto
a secret she found out about one of us till
the perfect moment, and would thrive on dropping the bombshell
to our parents during a road trip or in the
interval of a great movie and ruin the entire thing.
It was her thing. And I fear she hasn't fully
gotten over the habit as an adult. My older sister
considers herself our parent too, and has always narked or

(01:34:17):
used stuff as leverage against us. I used to fear
her growing up and would hide my journals at my
friend's house because she would snoop. Definitely lacks empathy. Update one,
thank you for all the advice and support on my
original post. After reading the feedback, I reached out to
a close lawyer friend for advice as well, and he,
like most of you, agreed that I should report it,
and to do it without informing anyone else. He said

(01:34:39):
it was better for me to do it sooner to
have it on record. They prefer any complaint to be
filed within one hundred eighty days of when you knew
that the act or a mission complained of occurred. Two
days after that, I reported doctor B to OCR for
violating HEPE and Patient Safety Act and breaching my fundamental
right to health information privacy. I didn't tell my sister
or anyone else, but a few days later I saw

(01:35:00):
my entire family when I went home for the holidays.
I hadn't heard anything back yet on my complaints. So
I wasn't sure if doctor B was aware yet, let
alone tell my sister that I had reported her. So
I didn't say a word. Turns out that wasn't my
biggest issue at that moment, though my sister had already
told my parents that I was on an extremely high
dose of controlled substances. I knew my parents wouldn't take

(01:35:21):
this news well, but they were far more upset about
it than I could have imagined. My dad doesn't believe
in ADHD and thinks it's merely an excuse for those
that allow themselves to get easily distracted, especially since the
age of social media. He even remarked that he noticed
I was quite slow with my responses since dropping out
of my chess club really absurd in offensive comments. I

(01:35:43):
can't even remember a lot of it because I was frozen.
I just sat there, nauseous and livid, with tears in
my eyes, just listening to the three of them, my
parents and sister take turns going off at me. My
mom wanted me to stop all medications immediately, that I'm
better than this and smarter than this, and even threatened
to tell your professors that you're on drugs if you
leave us with no choice. But when she said that,

(01:36:05):
it hit me I had a choice. I could choose.
I could choose to never have to deal with this again,
and to not let them treat me this way anymore.
So I did. I chose to say nothing and allowed
them to interpret my silence as agreeing and submitting to
their ways, as I have done so many times before.
And then I went to my room, chose to book
a flight and pack up most of my stuff. My

(01:36:25):
books would need buses of their own to be transported anywhere.
The next morning, I chose to call an uber a
few hours before my flight while they were still asleep,
and flew back to my university. I chose me. In January,
I found out that doctor B had prior complaints from
patients against her, and my report had opened an investigation
that is currently ongoing. She's been placed on temporary leave

(01:36:47):
till the case is resolved. I can't share more details
on that for now, but I will come back an
update once it's done. Relevant comments comment or one. I
also have ADHD, and I studied neuroscience partly because I
wanted to understand. I also come from a family that
thinks like ops and I got the same bs from
them all my life. We now finally come to be

(01:37:07):
able to make adh visible in MRI scans and predict
the presence of symptoms with an accuracy of up to
eighty percent. We can make visible the ways ADHD brains
are different from normal brains, not in their structure, but
in the way they make use of it. We can
see where our bodies use more oxygen and neurotransmitters, and
ADHD brains are visibly different from normal ones in a
way that is congruent with the symptoms. We can even

(01:37:30):
tell apart the inattentive type and the hyperactive type with
an accuracy of up to seventy five percent. People who
say ADHD patients are lazy and their symptoms are their
own choices and character flaw are as ignorant and backwards
as someone still believing the flu is caused by bad
error or cancer as God's will. If this family is
so smart, they are doing a really good job at
remaining ignorant with all the evidence out there. They have

(01:37:52):
to really choose not to read and educate themselves and
become advocates for their child and sibling, but instead actively
avoid the newest scientific evidence that their opinion is stupid
and they have been shitty people all along, OLP. It
took me thirty years to make the step you made.
Kudos on being so brave and mature while still being
in college. I'm still trying to come to terms with
self doubt, imposter syndrome, and depression. If you can afford it,

(01:38:14):
do some therapy. Growing up in such a negative environment
takes its toll, even after you cut the ties. I'm
proud of you. The hurdles to get to where you
are today were huge, and you did it all by yourself.
Never forget that. Here's an article about it. This is
just a small study in China, but they are happening
everywhere and they all come to the same conclusion. Oop.

(01:38:35):
I have tears in my eyes. I really needed to
read every single thing you typed out here. I'm so
tempted to send this to my family, but I don't
want to interact with them right now, so I won't.
I love science just as much as they do, and
studying physics brings me so much purpose. I just know
I need some help in staying ahead of my course
and completing my assignments. And I'm finally okay with that.

(01:38:55):
In the short time that I've been away from my family,
I've felt so much more freedom and ECPs who I am,
that I am still smart and capable, and that I
will still become a scientist even if I do it
my own way. And I am okay with the fact
that my family doesn't approve of my choices. If they
can't be bothered to listen to me, let alone attempt
to learn anything about my diagnosis and try to be
there for me, they aren't worth worrying over. I have

(01:39:17):
spent far too much of my life doing that already.
I have no more time or energy to give to
that any more. I'm channeling all of that towards me
achieving my goals and healing my trauma. Thank you for
listening and for sharing. I'm so grateful for you, O
p on Oor family. It's their whole image. We come
from a long line of scientists, and many of my

(01:39:38):
family members have a pH d, and as far as
I know, none of them have been officially diagnosed like
I have, or maybe they struggled with it secretly. But
their work, ethic, and achievements are everything to them and
they would never reveal anything that would show otherwise. It's
the way we were raised, and I didn't know anything
else for most of my life. Anyone who couldn't pay
attention was distracted in their eyes. Nothing more comment or two.

(01:40:01):
Sad thing is I get the feeling that you could
show all of this to Op's family and it wouldn't
make a bit of difference. Op, it wouldn't. You are
so right. I considered it for a second, but you
are so very right. I was seriously so blind. For years.
All I wanted was to be good enough for them.
Therapy is now making me realize so many things. It's

(01:40:21):
so bittersweet. My heartaches. The worst part about going no
contact with your sister missing out on getting to hang
out with your niece and nephew. March thirtieth, twenty twenty three,
three weeks later. I don't know how many of you
have actually gone en see with your family, especially to
the extent that I have currently, but I'd love to
hear any advice you might have. At this point, I

(01:40:43):
don't have any form of communication with my parents and
older sister, and haven't since December. The most awful part
about this whole thing is my inability to reach out
to my young niece and nephew, who I'm so close to.
Every year I receive a Valentine's Day card from them,
and this year I got none. It's incredibly lonely, and
I don't wish this on anyone. I'm always wondering why
they think I haven't called them. As much as I'm

(01:41:04):
growing and healing from this, I'm also dealing with a
lot of trauma, and it's rough relevant comments Ope on
learning about herself. I think it's so hard for me
right now because for years, so much of what mattered
to me was getting approval and being good enough for
my family, especially since they're all over achievers and place
a lot of value in academic excellence, and to feel
no support from them at a time when I could

(01:41:25):
really use it. I've never felt so alone and just
out of place in this world. But I'm also learning
a lot about myself and how codependent I was and
relied too much on their opinions to ever even form
strong ones of my own. So the bright side to
this is figuring myself out. Ope on losing her sister.
I've been having an extremely hard time the last few
days dealing with this. I am looking forward to when

(01:41:46):
I can say my life is much healthier and happier
without my sister. I know it will come, but right
now I'm just experiencing so much sadness. As a younger
sister who looked up to my sister so freaking much,
all I wanted was to be good enough for her
to be proud of me or think I was worthy
of her time and attention. But I'm not in coming
to terms with that is brutal Commenter one, It really

(01:42:07):
is like grieving the death of a loved one. Therapy helps,
having support helps, and being kind to yourself helps. For me,
a big issue with second guessing myself. Maybe I'm blowing
things out of proportion. I should just apologize again. Those
thoughts were hard to get past. Ope, I'm having those
exact thoughts. I am currently in therapy and it is

(01:42:27):
not easy. It seems like so much of the affection
I thought I felt from my family wasn't real at all,
and most of it in my head. Thank you for
sharing with me. It might not seem like much, but
it really does help to know there are others out
there dealing with similar situations. It is so hard. Commenter
two could I make a suggestion to you create an
email address for them, something like I love my nephew

(01:42:49):
at gmail and I love niece at Gmail. Then email
them every time you would have sent a card or
reached out, send emails that say Happy Valentine's Day, I
miss you guys. Hey, I saw pictures or heard through
the grapevine that you did this. That's awesome and I'm
proud of you. This reminded me of you today and
I wanted to share. I would have the first email

(01:43:09):
to the account bea this is what happened between your
mom and dad and I and why I'm no contact.
It was never about you, guys, and I'm always here
when you're ready to contact me. Then, when they're old
enough to decide for themselves, maybe eighteen, maybe earlier or later,
depending on circumstances. At that point you can give them
the password AUP. This is a wonderful idea, and I
might actually do this. It feels like a good way

(01:43:32):
to express my feelings without bottling them all up. Thank you.
OPI on trusting herself. It feels so awful to know
they don't really have your best interests at heart, and
it's a very raw kind of pain, but you are right.
I do feel more confident in my decision as each
day goes by and know I did the right thing.
Update two. Thank you to every single person that has commented,

(01:43:53):
reached out via DM, or shared any advice with me.
My ADHD in current anxiety has me extremely overwhelmed, so
please excuse me for not being able to respond to
each of you individually. I get quite a few questions
every day about any update with the case. I'm not
sure how so many of you are still finding this post,
but I really appreciate everything you've said to me to
help me get through this. I'm sorry I can't answer

(01:44:14):
any questions right now. Please know that once I have
enough to share or any real information, I most certainly will,
but for now there isn't much. The only thing I
can share is that I am currently working with an
attorney well versed in hippo violations who is handling the
matter on my behalf. We have received a notice regarding
the outcome of the investigation from the ocr which I
am not allowed to share yet. I'm not sure if we,

(01:44:35):
along with the other patients who faced breach of privacy
from the same doctor, will be suing because that's usually
the most unlikely outcome, since it almost always falls on
the employers rather than the doctors. I've been told we
might proceed with a civil claim. There's a lot of
bureaucracy involved and it seems quite complicated, so I don't
have a timeline on what to expect yet. I'm just
grateful to have a lawyer that knows what they're doing.

(01:44:56):
Thank you for your support. It's been the most hardest
and lonely p period of my life, and your kind
words helped me get through it. Relevant comments commenter one, Hey,
it sounds to be a good update so far. How
did the situation with your family turn out? Did they
contact you? I hope you're emotionally okay and have the
time to heal o P. My mom has tried to

(01:45:18):
contact me a few times, but I haven't answered. My
dad and sister haven't. I have checked in with my
other two siblings a few times when I've just been
so incredibly lonely that it feels like the world is ending.
I am not emotionally okay at all. I'm going to
therapy and getting help for it, but processing trauma is
a very hard and painful process. I can't explain to
you in words how it feels to have a stranger

(01:45:39):
make you realize your family has never loved you at all.
As much as my older sister was a bully to
me in some twisted way, she was my idol growing up,
and all I wanted was to make her proud of me.
I never felt worthy of her time or attention back then,
and never did even as an adult with many achievements.
And to know she would pick her friends and a
heart beat over me, it really was such a painful
stab in my back. I know things will get better.

(01:46:02):
I feel it in waves. I am finding confidence in
little things every day. I just found out that my
family cut me out of their insurance plan and I
no longer have access to health coverage, including my prescription
meds for ADHD or therapy, both of which I really
need right now. What are my options? May twenty fourth,
twenty twenty three, one month later. I'm a full time

(01:46:22):
student under the age of twenty six, and my health
insurance so far has been included in my family's plan
under dependent coverage extension. A few months ago, I went
NC with my family after they found out I was
on prescription vivans for my ADHD, something they absolutely do
not believe in and refuse to support me. Two weeks ago,
I found out that they have taken me off their
health plan and have pretty much left me to fend

(01:46:44):
for myself. I haven't been able to get my meds
this month, and it has been awful. Since I study
full time, my only means of income is a part
time TA job on campus, which is currently on hold
since the semester has ended. In some tutoring I do
during my very limited free time. I'm struggling an on
the verge of a mental breakdown and could use any
advice I can get. What options do I have to

(01:47:04):
get some health coverage or any assistance whatsoever? Sorry if
this has been hard to read, My eyes fill up
with tears any time I try to type this out.
Relevant comments Commenter one, What QLI did they use to
drop you? Is one not required on the marketplace plans
to experience a life event to drop an enrollly midyear
OPE dependent no longer eligible because of full independence, is

(01:47:26):
what I was told. I'm currently involved in an ongoing
lawsuit due to a hippo breach by my doctor. It's
caused a major rift between my family and me since
the doctor is the best friend of my older sister,
hence the NC and probably why they did this. Commenter two,
you most likely will be able to get medicaid. Do
you have a local department of social services you can
go to? Ope? Would I be able to qualify for

(01:47:49):
Medicaid independently even though my family has a high disposable income.
I'm financially independent, but have been on their plan my
whole life until last month. I've reached out to a
few that were recommended by my university, but since my
official address is out of state where my parents are,
I'm having to get those sorted first. Commoner three, make
sure they're not claiming you as a dependent on their

(01:48:10):
taxes still, but generally yes, it's not based on your
family's income since you're not a miner and don't live
with them. Oh p, I hadn't even considered this. I
need to look up how to check if they're claiming
me as a dependent. Thank you for pointing this out.
My final update, farewell and thank you for your support.
I hope you read this. June sixth, twenty twenty three,

(01:48:31):
two weeks later, Hello everyone, I want to express my
deepest gratitude to all of you who have reached out,
offered advice or a safe space for me to be heard,
and provided on wavering support during my time here. Your
kindness has been a guiding light in what has been
the absolute darkest time of my life. I was so
incredibly lonely after making the difficult decision to go no
contact with my family. However, amidst this awfully painful period

(01:48:55):
that I wouldn't wish on anyone, I discovered a newfound
sense of belonging provided by all of you compassionate strangers
on Reddit. To those of you that were proud of me,
I cried a long cry for every single time I
read those words, and I will carry them with me
till the very end. Science is my purpose here. I
will rise again and hopefully help change this world for
the better. Some day, as I embark on a healing journey,

(01:49:17):
I've decided to take a step back from here. As
someone navigating ADH, I can sometimes become overwhelmed with feedback.
Therapy has taught me the importance of focusing on my
mental well being, and given the financial challenges I'm facing
and ongoing legal issues, I will be working two jobs
to make ends meet and afford the health care and
stability I need while I'm off from school. I cannot
express how much your support has meant to me, but

(01:49:38):
at this time I must prioritize my responsibilities and take
care of myself till I'm back. I want to leave
you with a quote that resonates deeply within me. Pass
on the kindness of strangers, for they have the power
to mend the broken and inspire the lost. From the
bottom of my heart, I thank you for becoming the
family I needed when I felt most alone. May your
lives be overflowing with happiness, love and success. Take care.

(01:50:04):
Now to the next story. Six. My family treats me
like a doormat. Now. They are planning a cruise without
me and assuming I'd stay behind to babysit their kids.
They expected me to watch the kids while they had
a good time, even though I, twenty five f was
not invited to the family cruise Reddit. Hello. Usually I
just read posts and marvel how families can be so

(01:50:24):
cruel to one another. As it happens, I just received
a story from my own family that is worth sharing.
I need some perspective since for the past week, this
has been weighing heavily on my chest. I'd like to
introduce myself. I'm a twenty five year old single software
developer for a big tech business in Seattle, and it
seems like I've been made the family doormat. I got
what most people would call a dream job three years

(01:50:46):
ago after graduating from college. I've been advancing my career consistently.
My work is rewarding and difficult, and my team respects me. However,
in my family, I'm simply the one who can be
counted on, the person who others turn to when they
need assistance, particularly with childcare. Please understand that I adore
my nieces and nephews. I've always been available for last

(01:51:06):
minute babysitting crises, or any time someone needs a helping hand.
Perhaps I aired by being overly approachable and eager to assist.
The backstory is as follows. After forty years of teaching,
my sixty five year old aunt Jean is retiring. She
is essentially the matriarch of our family, keeping everyone in touch.
She keeps track of all the birthdays, plans every holiday meal,

(01:51:28):
and even sends care packages to the younger cousins when
they attend college. She is what keeps us altogether. She
was the one who gave me care packages filled with
my favorite snacks and handwritten encouraging letters during finals week
when I was in college. She even assisted me in
getting ready for my very first job interview. Her retirement
is obviously a huge event, and I was thrilled to
join in the celebration, or was until I learned that

(01:51:50):
I would not be participating. Everything began last week. I
had just completed a particularly difficult project at work that
involved coordinating a crucial system update and staying late to
fulfill deadlines. Despite my fatigue, I continued to have dinner
with my family once a week. Since I moved into
my own apartment. These dinners have become a ritual, and
even when I'm really busy with work, I hardly ever

(01:52:12):
miss one. I brought Mom's favorite bottle of wine when
I got to my folks place. It was an ordinary evening.
My sister Rachel thirty two degrees fahrenheit looking through her phone,
my dad half watching a sporting event on TV, and
my mom fifty five degrees fahrenheit, worrying about what to
make her two year old was on the floor playing
with blocks and would sometimes call out to everyone who passed.

(01:52:33):
We were discussing a variety of topics, including Rachel's toddler's
most recent developmental milestone, my most recent professional endeavor, and
the customary family rumors. I then asked jokingly if anyone
had any suggestions for Aunt Jean's retirement present. I had
been considering getting her a unique present, perhaps organizing a
collective present with the family. At that moment, Rachel said, oh,

(01:52:55):
we're giving her a group gift on the cruise, without
even raising her head from her phone. I stopped in
the middle of my sentence. What kind of cruise? At first,
I believed I had misheard her. I would be aware
of any scheduled family vacation, wouldn't I. I mean, I
attend every birthday party, holiday celebration, and family get together.
I chuckled uneasily and inquired about her topic. She raised

(01:53:17):
her head, obviously perplexed that I was perplexed. We've been
organizing the crews for months, you know, as if I
were somehow to blame for not knowing about something that
no one had thought to tell me. Rachel added, all
the adults in the family are going. I asked my
mother for an explanation. When she realizes she's done something
wrong but doesn't want to acknowledge it, she gives me

(01:53:38):
this uneasy smile. She clarified, it's a cruise to celebrate
your aunt's retirement. With a few days spent in Hawaii,
I had the impression that I was in a strange
prank show. At the time, I was in the dark
about this elaborate excursion while everyone else was aware of it.
Suddenly the space felt too warm and cramped. My heart
was pounding as I struggled to comprehend what was going on.

(01:54:00):
My mother gave me a tense little laugh when I
inquired why I hadn't been informed, and then she said, well,
we thought you'd be more help staying back, remaining behind.
What can you help with, I asked, attempting to speak steadily.
I had the ideal opportunity to jump in as if
it were the most apparent thing in the world. When
my cousin, Madison thirty degrees fahrenheit entered the room with

(01:54:20):
her twins the children, it just made sense for you
to stay and watch them, since you get along so
well with them. Let me explain. Madison and Rachel have
four children under the age of four, Madison's twins who
are just over a year old, and Rachel's three and
two year old children. They had somehow determined that I
would be more than happy to stay behind and monitor

(01:54:41):
them all without even consulting me. I forgot about my
dinner and just stared at them in shock. So you
organized this entire trip without inviting me and just thought
I'd be fine staying home to watch the kids. Rachel
finally put her phone down and shrugged. Yes, indeed, you
don't have children or anything that might bind you, and
you're always so dependent. It simply made sense, made sense

(01:55:03):
to whom. I looked at my mother as I inquired,
hoping for an explanation that wouldn't make me seem like
a total afterthought. We didn't mean to leave you out, honey,
she added, smiling weakly at me. We simply assumed you
would comprehend. You have always been the one in charge.
The word responsible was like a kick to the face.
I've heard that a lot throughout my life, including when

(01:55:24):
I stayed home to assist with family gatherings rather than
going out with friends. When I re arranged my college
schedule to accommodate Rachel's first born, and when I utilized
my vacation time to support Madison following her challenging twin pregnancy.
When someone needs assistance, I've always been the one to
step up. Yes, I have assisted with school pickups, kept
the kids during crises, and even filled in for Rachel

(01:55:45):
when she had work related issues. Rachel had a late
meeting last month, so I took a half day off
work to pick up her children from day care. After
the twins began to crawl. I spent three weekends the
previous month assisting Madison with organizing her home. However, this
this was really different. They made decisions for me as
if my time, my desires, and my life didn't matter.

(01:56:06):
They didn't even have the grace to ask. My mother
attempted to patch things up by promising to bring me
a memento, as if that would somehow make up for
my exclusion. She promised to purchase you a lovely souvenir
from Hawaii, as though it would make up for being
treated like the family's unpaid babysitter. Meanwhile, Rachel pretended that
I was exaggerating. You wouldn't really like the crews. Anyhow,

(01:56:27):
I take it that you don't like big crowds. Do
you recall how uneasy you felt at cousin Katy's wedding.
Pardon me, As I spoke, I could feel my annoyance building.
They were now determining what I would and wouldn't like.
I was recuperating from the flu when that wedding took
place five years ago. However, it seems that one incident
had turned into a justification for them to keep me

(01:56:47):
out of family gatherings. I sat there attempting to take
it all in. This was intentional, not merely an oversight.
They all know that I don't use Facebook, so I
wasn't a part of the private Facebook group where they
had been organizing this for months. They could have called, texted,
or even casually brought it up at any of the
numerous family get togethers we've had, but they chose not to.

(01:57:07):
My mother attempted to sidestep my comments about how painful
it was to be left out. We had no intention
of upsetting you. It was simply useful sensible for them.
Soon after I departed because I was too upset to
continue the conversation. It was a blur on the way home.
Recollections of all the times I had sacrificed everything for them,
put their needs ahead of my own, and dropped everything

(01:57:29):
to aid them kept coming back to me, making it
difficult for me to concentrate on the road. However, as
the days went by, the rage evolved into something more profound.
It was more than just the journey. It has to
do with how my family perceives me. I don't have
any wants, goals, or desires of my own. Simply said,
I'm the reliable one, the helper, and the person they

(01:57:50):
can rely on to make sacrifices when it suits them.
I've mentally rehearsed the exchange numerous times. I recalled spending
the entire night with Rachel during the colic episode of
her FAFE child, how I assisted Madison in her quest
for strollers and car seats that are suitable for twins.
How I've never missed a child's birthday, celebration or school function.
As I gave it more attention, I came to the

(01:58:11):
conclusion that this wasn't an isolated incident. They have always
treated me in this manner. I didn't even realize how
frequently my family took advantage of me because I was
so ready to support and assist them, But I'm done
this time. I'm not sure how I'll deal with this
in the future, but I'm definitely not going to stay
behind to watch the kids not now read it. What
are your thoughts? Have you ever found yourself in a

(01:58:33):
comparable circumstance. I'll keep you informed as events develop. First update,
Hello everyone, I appreciate all of your encouraging remarks in
my earlier post. In the last few days, a lot
has transpired and I must disclose how things have gotten
out of hand. I made the decision to make one
final attempt to get on the trip after reading your remarks,
in the hopes that we could arrange something. I texted

(01:58:55):
my sister Rachel to inquire about going on the trip.
Sorry the cruise is so out, was her irate reply.
We made our reservation months ago and adding individuals now
is not possible. I informed her that I would be
prepared to reserve my own cabin independently, even if it
meant traveling to Hawaii on my own to meet them
there or staying on a different deck. Even though I

(01:59:16):
was still upset over being left out I was making
a sincere effort to be understanding. What did she say, Well,
you would have to arrange child care first. If you
did come, everything has already been planned, presuming you will
monitor the children. It dawned on me then that they
never intended to include me. The explanation about daycare was
simply that an excuse. They had already determined that I

(01:59:38):
would always be the babysitter in this household. I therefore
made a choice. I had previously asked for time off
for what they believed to be babysitting responsibilities. I choose
to take the time off for myself rather than cancel it.
A coworker recommended this lovely mountain cabin rental, which I found.
It's quiet, remote, has hiking trails and a hot tub
with a view of a valley. I made the reservation

(02:00:00):
right away, packed my things, and departed without informing anyone
of my destination. Everything I needed was in the cabin,
just the sound of nature and complete solitude. No Wi Fi,
no cell service until in an emergency. Naturally, my phone
was overflowing with text the morning of their cruise departure
before I finally shut it off. Mom in an hour

(02:00:20):
we're heading out. When are we able to drop off
the children? Rachel, Hey, we're taking the car seats to
your apartment. Be prepared. Are you ignoring us? Asked Madison.
We have to stick to our timetable. Therefore, this isn't humorous. Mom.
Please answer your phone, honey, she said once again. Everyone

(02:00:41):
is waiting. Then the messages became more obscene. Rachel, It's
unbelievable how self centered you are. Our flight is going
to be delayed. Madison. This is utterly careless. We had
faith in you. I raised you better than this, said Mom.
The finest aspect, I had never received confirmation from them

(02:01:01):
that I would be watching the children. They simply believe that,
since I've always done it, I would. I'm currently sitting
in this serene cottage and taking in the mountain sunset.
I feel free for the first time in years, no obligations,
no expectations, no last minute crises to deal with. However,
I am aware that this calm is fleeting. I haven't
turned on my phone yet, and I can only picture

(02:01:23):
the drama that will be there when I do. I
feel bad for finally standing up for myself and upsetting
the family dynamic, not for the children, whose care is
ultimately the parent's duty. One commenter on my previous piece road,
they're not angry because you said no and it's still
on my mind. That's struck close to home. They're upset
because they can no longer control you. Am I mistaken

(02:01:45):
for prioritizing myself at last, at the very least, should
I have informed them that I wouldn't be available. It
felt like the only way to let them know I'm
serious after years of being taken for granted, even though
I realize it wasn't the most mature thing to do.
For the next week, I'll be at the case. I
suppose I'll have to deal with whatever happens after that. Reddit,
I appreciate you letting me vent. After I return and

(02:02:07):
have addressed the fallout, I will provide another update. Second update,
Hello Reddit. It took me a while to take in
everything that had transpired since my last update. I'm in
dire need of some outside insight because things have become worse.
Do you recall that quiet cabin I told you about
Those seven days changed my life. I read books I
had been intending to read for years. In the afternoons,

(02:02:29):
hiked Misty trails in the mornings and soaked in the
hot tub under the stars at night. I felt what
it was like to not be at someone's mercy for
the first time in my adult life. I found myself
thinking back on my relationship with my family. While I
was there, Rachel needed assistance moving houses last December, so
I had to postpone a big certification exam that would
have furthered my profession. That weekend. She said no one

(02:02:51):
else could help her. My siblings gave me plain gift cards,
saying they were too busy to shop properly, while I
used my entire Christmas bonus the month before to buy
press for all the kids. Madison argued that she had
no one else to care for the twins, so I
was unable to attend my closest friend's bachelorette party earlier
last year. The pattern remained constant. Their demands came first

(02:03:11):
then mine. But when I got home, the real drama began.
Do you recall how I shut down my phone. I
had hundreds of voicemails, more than one hundred text messages,
and forty seven missed calls waiting for me. It included
everything from threats to guilt tripping. Do you realize we
could have called the police for child abandonment? Was the
most memorable message from my cousin Madison. They were meant

(02:03:33):
to be your responsibility. What I was reading was unbelievable.
You never agreed to watch children, so how can you
leave them? I wanted to handle this ridiculous threat, so
I contacted her back right away. When she answered, I exclaimed,
you can't be serious. If someone refuses to accept a responsibility,
you cannot report them for it. She gave a frightening reaction.

(02:03:55):
You were the reason we had to postpone our entire trip.
Are you aware of the amount of money we lost?
You were meant to be with the children, assumed to
be by whom I retorted, I was never asked. You
all made the decision for me. She continued talking about
my responsibilities to my family and how I had failed them.
She then revealed yet another shocking revelation. I've already spoken

(02:04:17):
with my legal pal. What you did can be regarded
as careless. I lost it at that point. Your lawyer
buddy needs to advise you that before accusing someone of
ignoring a duty, you must obtain their real consent. I
have no formal authority to make medical choices for your children,
and my apartment isn't even child proofed. Have you considered
that she ended the call. Then Rachel's flurry of messages arrived.

(02:04:41):
It seems that she was so stressed that she was
only able to enjoy half of the crews and had
to leave her children with a neighbor. She wrote, You've
ruined Aunt Jean's retirement celebration completely. You chose to be selfish,
which affected everyone's trip. All of this came at an
especially difficult time because just last month, none of my
family members were availed to drive me home from a
minor medical procedure. Madison was preoccupied with her daily schedule,

(02:05:05):
and Rachel had an important hair appointment. In the end,
I had to pay for a ride sharing service. Although
more subdued, my mother's strategy was just as deceptive. Presumably
assuming I couldn't avoid her at work, she called me.
Her voice was brimming with disappointment as she started. Your
sister had to cut her trip short. Madison's non refundable
reservations cost them hundreds of dollars. Do you truly want

(02:05:28):
to be this person? I inhaled deeply before answering, Mom,
is this more about what you all want me to
be or about what I want to be? What is
the intended meaning of that? She inquired? It indicates that
I'm sick of being used as the family's unpaid babysitter.
None of you even take into consideration the fact that
I have my own life, work, and aspirations, she emphasized.

(02:05:49):
We are family, family support one another. Mom, help is
something that is freely given. You're referring to obligation here.
In addition, when was the last time I read received
assistance from any member of this family? The ensuing stillness
was telling. The intriguing part, though, is that my sister
chose to make this public on Facebook. She has been

(02:06:10):
making ambiguous and hostile status updates about toxic family members
and others who don't respect family values. The irony is
that our extended family members are making comments like some
people forget where they came from and blood is thicker
than water. I was initially turned away from the family
cruise by these same individuals. My cousin even went so
far as to email me a detailed list of all

(02:06:30):
the fees they incurred due to my selfish behavior, including
additional daycare charges, travel changes, and cruise tickets. She is
requesting that I pay them back because presumably their careless
planning has made me financially liable. A friend of mine,
who is illegal, not simply a buddy who knows a lawyer,
burst out laughing when I showed her these messages. She asserted,

(02:06:51):
they cannot force you to pay for plans you never accepted.
None of this operates that way. I've learned a valuable
lesson from the entire situation. This goes beyond on childcare
or of vacation. It involves years of abusing my kindness
and using my time and effort as a resource to
which they are legally entitled. I've always had some emergency
that needed my attention whenever I've attempted to plan for myself.

(02:07:13):
Rachel had joined a book club, so last spring, when
I wanted to take a photography class, I ended up
spending those evenings watching the kids. This summer, Madison needed
assistance with the twins when her husband was gone on business,
so I had to postpone our planned weekend get away
with friends. To help me deal with all of this,
I've started going to a therapist. She noted that my
family's response, the threats, the humiliation in front of others,

(02:07:36):
and the financial demands are all indications that someone they're
used to controlling is losing control. Aunt Jean has been
the sole bright point in all of this. I was
moved to tears by her remarks when she called me yesterday.
I had no idea they excluded you like this. I
would have stopped it right away if I had known.
Family isn't meant to be like this. However, even her
encouragement cannot make up for the hurt I feel when

(02:07:58):
I realize how my family can truly views me. I'm
their safety net, their back up plan, and their free
babysitting service, not their sister, daughter or cousin. Going forward,
I know I must establish clear boundaries, but I'm having
trouble figuring out what those boundaries should entail. There's a
part of me that wants to stop communicating altogether, at
least temporarily. Even thinking about that makes another area feel bad. Reddit,

(02:08:23):
what are your thoughts with family members that don't even
grasp the idea of boundaries? How can you set them?
Have any of you had a similar situation? Third update
This will be my last update on the situation Reddit.
In light of the trip and the turmoil that followed,
I've had to make some tough but essential choices regarding
my relationship with my family going forward. These last few

(02:08:44):
weeks have been life changing. Now that I'm not always
on call for family problems, my professional life has dramatically transformed.
I am now in charge of a significant project. Last week,
my manager even took me aside and remarked, you seem
like a completely different person. Your energy and focus have
significantly increased. Until they were gone, I was unaware of

(02:09:05):
how much my family responsibilities were impeding my career. I
finally had the chat I had been dreading last night.
I gave my mother a call. Since I still adore
her in spite of everything, I knew she would be
the most difficult to deal with. However, love is insufficient
to excuse their treatment of me. Her voice was instantly
eager as she responded, I'm so happy you phoned, honey.

(02:09:27):
Let's move on from this, shall we. I want to
stop fighting now, I said in a firm voice. Mom.
This isn't a fight. This is my way of telling
you that I need a lot of space. What is
meant by that? Her voice changed from one of hope
to one of worry. It implies that I can't continue
in this manner. I can't be a part of a
family that doesn't respect me, even though I love you.

(02:09:48):
Whenever I attempt to defend myself, I encounter manipulation, accusations,
and guilt tripping. A few weeks ago, I would have
been devastated when she began to cry, so, what are
you simply going to leave me from your sister, from everybody? Yes,
if that's what it takes to keep my peace. From there,
the discussion took a turn for the worse. She employed

(02:10:10):
all of her strategies, including money manipulation, remember who helped
with your first apartment deposit, guilt about the children they
ask about their aunt every day, and even bringing up
Dad's health. This stress isn't good for his heart. The
most painful part was when she mentioned my early years.
She said, I gave up everything for you to raise you.
I put my career on hold. I didn't miss the

(02:10:32):
irony of her exploiting her own decisions to blame me
for mine, but I held my ground. For the first time,
I clarified that although I would continue to send birthday
cards to the children, I would require total separation from
the family's adults for the foreseeable future. What is the
foreseeable future duration, she insisted, for however long it takes
for me to recover and for everyone to realize that

(02:10:53):
I'm more than just the family's babysitter. She ended the call.
Instead of feeling sad as I had anticipated, I felt lighter.
I adopted a more straightforward strategy with my sister and cousin.
I disabled their social media profiles and phone numbers. I
went through all of the family group conversations on my
phone and unsubscribed. In addition to on following them on

(02:11:13):
social media, I modified my Emil filters so that their
messages are sent to a different folder that I may
review whenever I'm ready. There has been a noticeable shift
in my day to day existence. I used to be
so worried about missing an emergency call from my sister
or cousin that I would continuously check my phone. My
phone isn't tied to incessant demands from my family any more.
It's just a phone. I've begun taking back my weekends.

(02:11:36):
I joined a local hiking club last Saturday to tackle
a strenuous trail that I've always wanted to experience. I
spent six hours going to a stunning top with like
minded individuals rather than watching my nieces and nephews. Next weekend,
we intend to go hiking again the class I mentioned
on photography, Everything is going remarkably well. I have a
natural eye for composition, according to my instructor, and I'm

(02:11:59):
already organizing a picture show with several of my classmates
for the spring of next year. When I was at
everyone's mercy, I would never have had the chance to
take advantage of these kinds of possibilities. Additionally, I've resumed dating,
which was previously nearly difficult. It's incredible how much more
appealing you seem to possible partners when you don't have
to keep postponing arrangements to deal with family crises. Aunt

(02:12:21):
Jean is the only person I continue to communicate with.
She confirmed everything I've been feeling when she contacted me
this morning. She added that she had experienced a similar
situation with her own sister years prior, which helped me
feel less alone in this choice. Walking away from people
who don't value you even if they are. Family is
sometimes the strongest thing you can do. I've learned from

(02:12:42):
my therapist that this is about taking back my identity,
not just about establishing boundaries. I've spent so much time
being the family helper, the responsible one, and the dependable one.
Now I'm free to discover who I am without those titles. Yes,
there are times when I miss them, like when I
walked past my niece's favorite park or see something that
would make them laugh. The crew's situation, however, comes to mind,

(02:13:06):
as they were prepared to deny me a family celebration
while still requiring me to give up my time for
their convenience. Before, I never felt comfortable starting a five
year plan for myself. I'm considering working part time while
pursuing my master's degree. My manager is very supportive of
the tuition reimbursement program offered by my company. In addition,
I'm saving for that springtime vacation to Europe by myself,

(02:13:29):
which would not have been feasible when I was continuously
devoting my time and resources to family responsibilities. My mental
health has changed in the most unexpected way. I no
longer experience the same level of continual anxiousness. I eat healthier,
sleep better, and have even begun working out on a
regular basis. You have an incredible amount of energy when
you're not always running other people's lives. In response to

(02:13:51):
inquiries in my previous post, I can confirm that I
am still employed and have accepted a team lead position
on a new project. My coworkers have seen how I've changed.
You smile more now. One of them remarked, I was
unaware of how obvious my tension had been to other people.
Cutting off my family in this way may seem harsh
to some of you. Perhaps I am. However, this seems

(02:14:12):
to be the only option after years of being neglected,
having my needs and wants disregarded, and being treated more
like a service than a human being. I have no
idea what the future will bring. They might realize why
I had to do this at some point. They might not. However,
I'm prioritizing myself for the first time in my adult life,
and it feels good. I appreciate all of your help

(02:14:32):
along the way. Read it. Your feedback and personal stories
gave me the courage to make this choice. I'm ready
to conclude this chapter and concentrate on creating my own novel,
so this will be my final update. Now to the
next story. Seven. My parents chose my brother's award over
visiting me after a car crash. Now they want my
savings to bail him out of a fraud scandal. I refused.

(02:14:54):
About two weeks ago, I thirty two f was involved
in a horrific car accident. Another automobile struck me from
the side as I was making my way home from work.
The force of the impact caused my automobile to overturn.
I was later told by the paramedics that I was
fortunate to be alive. I ultimately needed emergency surgery due
to internal bleeding, two cracked ribs, and a damaged leg.

(02:15:17):
After the procedure, I stayed in the hospital for a
week to recuperate and try to make sense of things.
It was difficult to be in the hospital, both mentally
and physically. All I wanted was for my parents to
come see me as soon as I woke up. I
assumed that as soon as they learned about the accident,
they would rush over. Even though I didn't anticipate them
staying the entire time, I would have been so grateful

(02:15:38):
for a visit. Rather, they were absent for days. I
waited for them to stop by or at least give
me a call, but they didn't show up. Before I
even received a text from them, I believe it was
four days. To answer your question, my parents were told
what had transpired. The hospital informed me that they had
contacted them several times and that they are my emergency contacts.

(02:15:58):
A day following my mission, the hospital was able to
contact my parents, but the nurses reported that they appeared
unconcerned about the situation that obviously upset me a lot,
but I attempted to explain it away by saying that
perhaps they were too busy or that something else had
come up. Fortunately, my phone was still with me because
my possession survived the collision. Every day, at intervals of

(02:16:19):
five to six hours, I texted my parents, but I
never heard back. In the hospital, every day was a nightmare.
I attempted to give my parents a lot of wiggle
room because I really wanted to see people I knew,
but it became more difficult every hour. Fortunately I wasn't
entirely alone, because my pals who reside in other states
were able to get in touch with some family members
who live nearby. A family acquaintance came to visit me

(02:16:43):
on the sixth day in the hospital and remarked in
passing how wonderful it was that my brother was receiving
recognition for his efforts at an award ceremony. I didn't
know what she was discussing. She filled me in, but
she appeared perplexed that I didn't know. As it happens,
my parents didn't come to see me. Instead, they were
at my other award ceremony. They were aware that I
was in the hospital, but instead of helping me through

(02:17:04):
a difficult period, they decided to attend my brother's special occasion.
They were so busy getting ready for his big event
that they had taken so long to get in touch
with me. They were more concerned with their perception of
his ceremony than with their daughter's injury. Let me be
clear before anyone accuses me of jealously admiring my brother.
I don't find it hard to see why they would
be proud of him. I am aware that he is

(02:17:25):
gifted and has put a lot of effort into all
that he has accomplished. He has always been the golden child,
which is the problem since we were little. He has
received nothing but a claim for everything he does, while
I have largely gone unnoticed. He currently works for a
large corporation and is really successful. Therefore, this award meant
a lot to him. However, I was actually convalescing from surgery.

(02:17:47):
A visit or even a phone call to check on
me would have been the very least they could have done.
I only wanted my parents to be concerned about me,
and that was about all I was asking for. They
didn't even blink an eyelash when I could have died
that day. I was angry and humiliated. I attempted, but
was unable to explain my parents' actions. I then made
the decision to contact them and let them know how

(02:18:08):
offended I was. I texted them to express my disbelief
that they prioritized my brother's prize over my well being.
I expressed my pain at them not even checking in
on me. I didn't have to wait long for an
answer for the first time since the accident, and to
be honest, I wish they hadn't responded. Their words simply
made me feel worse. At first, they attempted to defend
their behavior by claiming that they couldn't miss my brother's

(02:18:30):
award because it was a once in a lifetime accomplishment.
I informed them that if they had only taken the
time to come see me sooner, they wouldn't have missed
the event at all. After a while, they gave up
trying to argue with me and told me that it
was pointless to waste time coming to see me while
my brother was out there making the family proud. That
hurt more than words can express. It seemed like they
only considered me as an afterthought. I wish I could

(02:18:53):
say that their behavior astonished me, but it has always
been like this. My brother was perfect as a child.
Every action he took was praised. Every accomplishment he made,
whether it was a scholarship, a fancy job, or perfect grades,
was celebrated. In the meantime, I was constantly in the background.
It was never good enough. Even when I performed well,

(02:19:14):
Every error I made was viewed as a disaster, and
I never received the same level of help. I had
the impression that they had already determined I was a
failure and that nothing I did would change their thoughts.
A week after my brother's award ceremony, my parents unexpectedly
arrived at the hospital. I was initially perplexed because, following
our last talk, I had given up on contacting them.

(02:19:35):
I knew my parents well enough to understand that they
weren't worried when they came to see me. They arrived
with phony smiles on their faces and bouquets in their hands.
They made an effort to strike up a conversation about
how I was doing, but it was obvious that their
thoughts were elsewhere. I advised them to just say what
was on their mind, because I could tell that whatever
they were thinking about was going to irritate me. The

(02:19:55):
fact that they showed so little concern for my survival
was offensive enough. I didn't need their I didn't have
to exert much effort. When my mother learned that my
brother had been arrested for fraud at his company, she
burst into tears. It turned out that my brother was
at the heart of a huge fraud scheme that was
discovered by the corporation he worked for. He had been
directing funds into his personal investments by falsifying the company's accounts.

(02:20:18):
Following an internal investigation, everything was turned over to the
police and he was apprehended after a coworker alerted the superiors.
He is currently being charged with major offenses like wire fraud, forgery,
and embezzlement. My parents had apparently already spent a large
portion of their cash on hiring attorneys for him. They
came to me because they didn't have enough money left
to pay his bail. They asked me to utilize the

(02:20:40):
money I had saved up from my work as a
project manager at an IT business to help him out. Additionally,
they asked whether I knew anyone who could help in
any manner or pull some strings. I had the impression
that I was merely a tool to clean up my
brother's mess, not even their daughter. I continued to experience
mental and physical pain. It was unbelievable to me that
they would turn to me for assistance after everything. It

(02:21:02):
was like being slapped across the face. When I was
laying in a hospital bed after surgery, afraid and alone,
they didn't give a damn, But now that their favorite
child was in danger, they needed me. I felt bad
about it. Perhaps I ought to have assisted for the
benefit of my family. The other side of me, though,
was angry. The same brother who has always had everything
handed to him. Why should I save him. My parents

(02:21:25):
have always protected him, so he has never experienced any repercussions.
Now they expect me to do the same. I informed
them that I would not assist. I said that even
if I did have the money, I wouldn't feel obligated
to help him out. I made it obvious who they
cared about more and reminded them that they hadn't even
come to see me yet. They insisted that I was
being self centered and that family should be together. I

(02:21:47):
couldn't get myself to care, even though they said I
would regret not helping my brother. To be honest, my
brother has always taken precedence over me. I was never
enough for them, no matter how hard I tried. They
wanted me to simple forget all the times they disregarded me,
left me out, and made me feel unimportant. Now that
they needed something from me, I felt in control of

(02:22:07):
the situation for the first time in my life, and
I wasn't going to let that go. I'm laying in
my hospital bed right now, feeling a mixture of anger
and remorse. Since I said no. My parents haven't spoken
to me, and I know they're upset, but I simply
can't bring myself to care any longer. I'm done trying
to gain their approval. I've wasted too much time aida

(02:22:27):
for standing up to my parents after everything they've done
to me, and not helping my brother. They keep repeating
that family should always remain together. Therefore, I feel like
I might be the villain. However, the way they have
treated me throughout my life and particularly now is something
I simply cannot get over. I feel like I've had enough,
but I'm not sure what to do. First update, Hello everybody.

(02:22:49):
I wanted to express my gratitude for your support of
my initial article. I was able to maintain my position
because of that, although I didn't anticipate updating so quickly.
A lot has transpired then. I was eventually released from
the hospital a few days after my parents arrived. I
can walk, but my leg fracture requires crutches and breathing
is still difficult as my ribs heel. Going home, finding

(02:23:11):
some serenity, and escaping the turmoil were all things I
was looking forward to. The moment I arrived at my apartment,
that hope was dashed. I knew things wouldn't go well
as soon as I spotted my folks, who were waiting
for me, just outside my door. They must have called
the hospital to find out the precise time of my
discharge because I hadn't told them. They wasted no time
at all. They began hammering me before I could even

(02:23:34):
remove my keys. They were incensed and informed me that
by not helping my brother, I had gone too far.
It's the most irate I've ever seen them. They seemed
more unhappy with me for refusing than they were with
my brother's deception. They talked endlessly about how family should
always come first. They said I was selfish and vindictive.
They claimed that I was using this circumstance as a

(02:23:55):
means of exacting revenge on them because I had resentment
toward my brother. They didn't care that I was still
recovering from my near death experience a week prior. They
simply viewed me as a barrier to their beloved son's rescue.
They had the audacity to say that they expected me
to step up now. They said that this was my
opportunity to show that I wasn't a letdown and that
I could be part of the family by acting morally.

(02:24:16):
It was crazy. They essentially acknowledged that I wasn't related
to them and that helping my brother was the only
way I could make amends. Things truly took a turn
for the worst when I informed them outright that I
wouldn't do it. My mother began crying at my door,
screaming things like we've already lost one child, and now
we're going to lose to and you're punishing us for
loving him more. In contrast, my dad simply became more

(02:24:39):
irate and wasn't attempting to shame me. He repeatedly accused
me of being cold hearted and self centered, claiming that
I had no regard for the family and that I
would regret it once they were gone. To be honest,
it was everything I could do to not lose it.
I was told I was a bad person for not
cleaning up my brother's mess, even though I was already
fatigued from the hospital stay and could not stand on
my crutches. The The fact that my parents intentionally treated

(02:25:01):
my brother better and that they love him more than
I did, just serve to exacerbate the situation. I didn't
give up, though I warned them that I would call
the police if they didn't leave and that I wouldn't
pay a dime for his bail or legal bills. After that,
they eventually backed off, but not before insulting me once again.
My brother's case made headlines a few days after that
onslaught at the door. It seems that the deception was

(02:25:23):
far larger than we initially believed. Evidence that he had
been transferring business funds for more than a year, some
of which had been laundered through fictitious business accounts in
his name, was discovered by the police. Additionally, as part
of a broader inquiry, they found that he had assisted
several colleagues in concealing their embezzled funds. My brother is
now being charged with conspiracy and money laundering an addition

(02:25:44):
to fraud. He might spend a significant amount of time
behind bars if convicted. The fallout has been harsh. My
parents are really freaked out. My brother's reputation has been
utterly destroyed after they boasted about his accomplishments to everyone
they knew for years. People aren't buying into their attempts
to control the situation by claiming that it's all a
misunderstanding and that it will all be resolved. When words

(02:26:06):
spread that his son was embroiled in a significant fraud case.
My dad even lost a significant client. They're fumbling, and
it's obvious they don't know what to do. Naturally, they
came stumbling back to me. They made no effort to
conceal their desperation this time. They indicated they needed my
assistance just this once to get through this because they
were under a lot of stress. They insisted that they

(02:26:27):
would have an opportunity to fix things and keep the
family together if I helped my brother. But I understood
exactly what that meant. Keeping the family together meant preserving
the appearance that their ideal kid had done nothing wrong,
and fixing things meant hiding his transgressions. They've gone completely
silent after I told them no once more. Nothing, no texts,

(02:26:48):
no calls. They seemed to have given up on me.
To be honest, they most likely view me as a
hopeless failure who abandoned the family when they most needed her.
But what do you know, I no longer give a damn.
I feel like I'm in charge for the first time
in my life, knowing that my parents just saw me
as a fallback option, someone to control in case something
goes wrong. Hurts. However, it also feels fantastic to put

(02:27:11):
myself first for once and to finally say no to
appease them. I won't help my brother, and I won't
allow them to use guilt to get me to correct
a situation they started. They must now deal with the
repercussions of their decisions. Second update, Since many of you
have been inquiring about my condition, the truth is that
things have gotten even more problematic. It was my brother

(02:27:32):
who sent me an email. Since he doesn't have access
to a phone while incarcerated, he persuaded one of his friends,
who still maintains his innocence, to contact me on his behalf.
I was initially inclined to simply remove it without reading it.
I assumed it was just another attempt to use guilt
to get me to assist him. However, my curiosity overcame
me and I opened it. My brother said he was

(02:27:54):
being framed in the email. Although he vowed he wasn't
the master mind, he acknowledged that he was a part
of the fraud at company. He claims that the superiors
used him as a scapegoat to hide their own wrongdoing.
He even said that while he was trapped taking the fall,
certain powerful executives were still able to move freely. He
pleaded with me for assistance, not for our parents, but

(02:28:14):
because he believed that I was the only one who
could save the family from disintegrating entirely. I was genuinely
offended by that line. Perhaps it was because my brother
finally admitted how poisonous our parents have been. He acknowledged
that they have consistently mistreated me and exploited him to
stroke their egos. Seeing him acknowledge that was odd because
he had always complied with it. I couldn't get rid

(02:28:35):
of the impression, though, that he was just saying anything
he felt would persuade me to assist him. He also
said that I should help him by saving the family,
which is what my parents have been saying ever since
this fiasco began. I kept asking myself if there was
any truth to what he was saying, even though I
promised myself I was done with all of this. Could
it be that he was actually being set up? What

(02:28:55):
if I was mistaken about how huge this was? I
wanted to know for sure. Part of me. I therefore
made the decision to investigate. I mentioned the problem to
a buddy of mine who is a lawyer and whom
I trusted. Since they were not involved in the case,
they were unable to provide me with a complete legal breakdown. However,
they did offer me some guidance on where to find
additional information. After doing some additional research, I discovered that

(02:29:19):
my brother's story wasn't entirely untrue. There was no doubt
that he was a fraudster. However, based on my understanding,
it appeared that he wasn't the one controlling everything. Evidently,
he was not the only victim of the fraud plan.
My brother was utilized as a pawn by several high
level executives who had been transferring corporate funds for years.
Since he was responsible for overseeing specific accounts, he was

(02:29:42):
held solely responsible when things went south. My brother was
left holding the bag because these superiors had purposefully separated
themselves from the grunt work. I felt torn after learning
all of this. I was upset that he was involved
in something so dubious in the first place. On the
one hand, he was involved in a serious crime regardless
of way, whether he was the mastermind or merely upon.

(02:30:02):
He wasn't just an innocent bystander who unknowingly became involved
in anything. He followed through because he knew what he
was doing. Most likely, he believed he would never be caught. However,
I did feel a little sorry for him at the
same time, knowing that he was exploited by those with
greater strength and expertise in hiding their trails as difficult.
It's obvious that those executives were well versed in their

(02:30:24):
roles and made sure my brother would bear the brunt
of any negative outcomes if he hadn't been raised in
a household that encouraged him to take short cuts as
long as you were successful on the outside. I couldn't
help but wonder how things may have turned out. He
most likely believed that he was untouchable because of our
parents unceasing protection and adulation. My folks were unexpectedly silent
when I told them what I had discovered. Although they

(02:30:45):
didn't want to acknowledge it, I believe that they secretly
understood my brother wasn't an innocent victim. They persisted in
promoting the same story, claiming that I was selfish for
not prioritizing the family and callous for not assisting him,
rather than admitting the reality it was like speaking to
a stone wall when you spoke to them. I've made
the decision to stop interacting with them at this time.

(02:31:06):
I've made up my mind and I'm sticking with it.
No matter how much he wants to blame the executives.
My brother still made his bed and now has to
lie about it. My parents are at fault if they
wish to continue supporting him. If the situations were reversed,
I wouldn't ruin myself trying to help someone who wouldn't
do anything for me. To be honest, I've not felt
so at ease in a long time. Even though my

(02:31:27):
family will never believe it, I know I made the
right decision. I've been treated like I didn't matter for
far too long, and I'm sick of it. Although my
brother's predicament is awful, I am not responsible for fixing it.
Once again, I want to thank everyone who has helped
me along the way. Although it hasn't been simple, it
has been a huge comfort to know that I'm not
the only one who feels this way. Third update, I

(02:31:48):
now have enough information to provide you all with an update.
Even though it has been more than a month since
my last post. I'll start with what my parents did.
When they realized that insulting me and pleading with me
wouldn't work, they made the decision to do something else,
which was to make me even more miserable than I
already was. They contacted several of my aunts, uncles, and
cousins to express their disdain and selfishness for not helping

(02:32:11):
my brother. They gave the impression that my refusal to
assist was motivated by spite and that I was simply
sitting on a mount of money. All they said was
that I was a monster and should not be trusted.
Only until one of my cousins contacted me and informed
me that my parents were spreading unfavorable rumors about me,
did I learn the truth. They cleverly omitted the fact
that they left me in the hospital and hadn't contacted

(02:32:32):
me since, completely twisting the tale to make it seem
like I was harboring resentment. I was only ever summoned
to assist my brother. I was hurt at first, even
though I had defended myself, it seemed like I was
being punished again. I believed that I would be left
on my own with no one to support me. However,
an unforeseen event occurred, several distant relatives began contacting me

(02:32:52):
rather than supporting my parents. It turns out that my
parents treatment of others and constant emphasis on my brother
caused them to sour relation with a lot of individuals
over the years. I was unaware of the depth of this.
I started hearing stories from relatives I hadn't spoken to
in years, and to be honest, they were all more
startling than the last. My brother once borrowed a substantial
amount of money from her husband to invest in a

(02:33:14):
business venture, according to an aunt who informed me about it. Naturally,
the plan failed, and my parents severed all ties with
my aunt when she attempted to recoup her money. They
even propagated the idea that my aunt was avaricious and
unsupportive of her family. According to another cousin, my brother
blamed a parking lot attendant for my uncle's car crash
at a family gathering a few years ago to keep

(02:33:36):
the family from being embarrassed. My parents supported him and
made sure the rumor didn't get out. They accused my
uncle of attempting to damage my brother's reputation when he
attempted to address them about it. There were several examples
like this one where my parents either covered up my
brother's wrongdoing or silenced anyone who dared to speak up.
My brother and another family member had a business partnership,

(02:33:56):
but my parents ruined it because they believed the relative
wasn't renowned enough to be affiliated with their son. According
to one relative, it was both startling and reassuring to
hear all of this. I wasn't insane. It's true that
my parents have a long history of ignoring others and
hiding behind my brother. For a long time, I believed
that I was somehow to blame for my parents treatment
of me, that perhaps I wasn't good enough or didn't

(02:34:18):
live up to their standards. It was never about me, though,
as I now see, they constantly wanted to keep my
brother safe at any costs. They even avoided family members
who questioned them or obstructed their path. For those who
wonder why my parents were so in need of my assistance,
the answer is because I have established a strong life
for myself in spite of their lack of encouragement. I've

(02:34:39):
developed excellent relationships and managed my finances wisely. In my
role as project manager for a reputable IT company. I've
saved money and made prudent investments. My parents knew I
had the money, which is why they were so frantic.
They failed to realize, however, that I didn't want to
help just because I could, especially for those who have
treated me like an afterthought my whole life. There has

(02:35:00):
been an update on my brother's case. My parents eventually
gathered together enough cash from loans and favors to get
him out of jail after I refuse to bail him out. However,
the inquiry was far from finished. My brother made the
decision to assist the authorities a few weeks ago. According
to what I understand, he provided information about the higher
ups who were complicit in the scam, which aided in

(02:35:21):
the prosecution's progress. He was able to receive a lighter
sentence as a result of his co operation. He will
serve a year and then perform community service in lieu
of years in prison. To be honest, that doesn't make
me feel any better. His co operation is commendable, but
that doesn't change the fact that he initially decided to
participate in the plot. Furthermore, I don't think this event

(02:35:42):
will significantly alter my brother. I don't think he will
quit having my parents clean up his mess any time soon.
For my part, I have decided to permanently cut off
contact with my parents, which I probably should have done
a long time ago. They are blocked on all of
my platforms. I even instructed the front desk of my
building to deny the men tree if they returned without warning.
I'm tired of serving as their fallback option, scapegoat, or

(02:36:05):
emotional target. I'm surprisingly not depressed about it. I had
assumed that leaving my family would be a great loss,
but instead it feels liberating. I can now live my
life without having to continually compare myself to my brother
or ask for morsels of affection from people who would
never show it to me. The family members who got
in touch have been incredible. They've shown me that I'm

(02:36:25):
not alone, and I feel supported for the first time
in a long time. It's weird because after years of
my parents excluding me, I've unexpectedly found a family. In fact,
I'm excited to get to know these relatives better because
many of them have invited me to family events that
my parents won't be there. One of my aunts even
expressed regret for not recognizing the situation sooner. She claimed

(02:36:46):
that although she always thought something wasn't right with the
way my parents treated me, she kept quiet about it
because she didn't want to start a fight. She is
now one of my biggest supporters, along with a few
other family members. For the first time, I feel hopeful,
even though I have no idea what the future contains.
I appreciate all of your help and guidance during this trip.
Reading your comments helped me realize that I wasn't insane

(02:37:08):
for sticking up for myself. Even though it hasn't been easy.
It feels so amazing to finally feel like I'm in
charge of my life. Now to the next story. Eight.
My parents chose my brother over me, hid my inheritance,
and now seek my help after his fraudulent betrayal. My
parents supported my brother after he slapped me during my
son's birthday celebration when he attempted to take their house,

(02:37:30):
which was actually mine. Years later, they pleaded for assistance Eric,
my younger brother is twenty eight million and I am
thirty five million. Favoritism was so blatant in our home
while I was growing up that it was painful. My
parents behaved as though Eric was a priceless treasure that
had to be safeguarded at all costs from the moment
of his birth while I was just there. I still

(02:37:51):
recall my tenth birthday celebration being canceled due to Eric's cold.
They couldn't risk him feeling excluded from the festivities because
he only had a cold, not even a fever. As
we aged, things only got worse. I was the debate
team captain, a straight A student, and even received a
partial scholarship for my SAT results. My parents, however, hardly noticed.

(02:38:11):
They were too preoccupied in complimenting Eric on passing his
classes with C grades. The same thing happened at every
parent teacher conference. They would ignore my accomplishments and concentrate
on how they could support Eric in doing better. At
the age of eighteen, I moved away with the intention
of succeeding without their continual comparison. I earned a degree
in computer science, worked several jobs to pay for education,

(02:38:32):
and got a fantastic position at a software business. I
met my wife, Darla thirty three f there. She is intelligent, kind,
and in contrast to my family, she genuinely acknowledges my accomplishments.
James is our one year old kid, and we were
married five years ago. Eric, however, never left the house.
After one semester. He left community college because it was

(02:38:54):
too stressful and returned home at the age of twenty eight.
He continues to live with our parents and work part
time at a nearby video game store. He spends much
of his time playing video games. This is entirely made
possible by my parents. They cover all of his expenses,
including his meals, bills, auto insurance, and game subscriptions. My
mother literally broke down in tears when I suggested that

(02:39:17):
Eric might want to look for a full time job,
saying that I was being too harsh on her sensitive
little boy. We threw James's first birthday celebration at my
parents' place last month. They insisted, even though I didn't
want to. Mom remarked that being a part of his
nephew's special day would mean a lot to Eric. In
an attempt to maintain harmony. I accepted, even though I
should have known better. The celebration got off to a

(02:39:39):
decent start. We used streamers and balloons to adorn the garden.
James was enjoying himself greatly in the company of his
loved ones. Up until lunchtime, everything was going smoothly. I
was searching the crowd for Darla after stuffing my plate
full of food. At that moment it occurred, Eric was
standing just behind me. As I turned around and unintentionally
ran int to him. His new limited edition gaming T

(02:40:02):
shirt got some of my food, which was pasta with
mare narasauce on it. Since I understood that gaming gear
can be pricey, I instantly apologized and offered to buy
him a new shirt or even pay for dry cleaning.
Eric flipped out Rather than accept my apology, he began
to yell that I always ruin everything for him. As
his face flushed, He cited instances from our early years

(02:40:22):
when he claimed that I intentionally attempted to harm him,
such as when I broke his game console by tripping
over its wire. I was twelve, he was five, or
when I received the last piece of pizza at his
tenth birthday celebration. I hadn't eaten all day because I
was helping set up his party. The room fell silent,
we had everyone's attention. Eric gave me a forceful slap
across the face before I could fight myself. The room

(02:40:45):
was silent as the sound reverberated. My cheek ached, but
the next thing that transpired hurt even more. My mother
hurried over to fuss over Eric, not to see how
I was doing. She began to inquire about his well
being and whether he required ice for his hand after
he slapped me, as though I had done something wrong.
My dad simply stood there with his arms crossed and
gave me a disapproving look. I surveyed the space. James,

(02:41:08):
who had begun to weep from the chaos, was being
held by my wife, who was standing there in shock.
While some people glanced away awkwardly. Others murmured to each other.
I stood there with a red mark on my cheek,
and there was Eric being comforted by our mother. I
asked my parents whether they truly approved of their son
being beaten at his own child's birthday celebration. When I
had finally found my voice, my mother's reaction, You are older,

(02:41:31):
you should know better. Look what you did to his
new shirt. You know how much he loves his gaming merchandise.
He saved up for weeks to buy that. I lost
it at that point, years of repressed annoyance were released.
I told them that throughout his life they had allowed
Eric to act in this way. They had never reprimanded him,
encouraged him to improve, or held him responsible for anything.

(02:41:54):
I brought up the fact that at twenty eight he
was still living at home and playing video games, when
I had put a lot of effort into building my
life since I was eighteen. I explained that Eric had
a gaming tournament that day, thus they had missed my
college graduation. How they were so preoccupied with making sure
Eric didn't feel excluded that they hardly assisted with my wedding.
How Eric felt uncomfortable around infants, thus they had only

(02:42:15):
been to see James twice since he was born. If
I couldn't respect my brother, my dad became my rate
and urged me to leave their home. That's exactly what
I did. I told my wife we were going, scooped
up my son and left. Look how upset Eric is
now was the reason my mother broke down in tears,
not the fact that I was going. The calls and
messages began to come in later that day. I had

(02:42:37):
to apologize to Eric. My parents informed me over the phone.
He apparently locked himself in his room and wouldn't go
because he was so unhappy about his damaged shirt. Some
family members called to let me know that I should
have recognized Eric's sensitivity and refrained from provoking him by
spilling food on him. According to other texts, I was
being dramatic about a little slap and should be more

(02:42:57):
understanding because I'm the older brother Eric, My parents, and
the family members who stood up for him were all
blocked by me. Some relatives who were present at the
time of the incident expressed their support for me, stating
that they had always seen how unfairly I was treated,
but had refrained from speaking out to prevent creating a scene.
Too late, too little. Now a month has passed, my

(02:43:18):
wife completely agrees with my decision to cut off communication.
She stated that she never wants James to believe that
hitting people is acceptable or that he must put up
with abuse because it originates from his family. Some family
members claim that since Eric is my younger brother, I
should forgive him and that I am being too harsh. However,
I fail to see why simply because we are related,
I should continue to put up with mistreatment. First update,

(02:43:42):
I haven't communicated with my family in two years. The
absence of their incessant drama has brought tranquility to life.
At three years old, James is doing well. In addition,
we have a six month old daughter named Emma. In
addition to purchasing a larger home and receiving advancements at work,
Darla and I have been intent with our lives as
a family of four. Everything changed last week when I

(02:44:04):
received a call from an unidentified number. My mother was
crying uncontrollably. Her cries made it difficult for me to
grasp what she was saying. At first, I was shocked
by what I heard when she eventually relaxed enough to talk.
Eric was selling their house after somehow getting it transferred
into his name. They had been given two weeks to
vacate by him. There was nowhere for them to go.

(02:44:24):
But the biggest shock wasn't even that. I was stunned
to learn that the house had truly always been in
my name. Mom says, my grandfather left the house to
me in his will when he died fifteen years ago.
I had just started college at the age of twenty.
Due to their own plans, my parents never disclosed this
inheritance to me. In an attempt to persuade me to
give the house to Eric when he was more stable.

(02:44:45):
They had been waiting for the right time to tell
me that they wanted Eric to ultimately own it. They
resided in my house for fifteen years without claiming it
as their own. They allowed Eric to live there for
free for fifteen years while I worked several jobs to
pay for my own place, while they saw me stro
uggle to save for a down payment on my first home.
They kept this a secret for fifteen years. Mom started

(02:45:05):
sobbing as she talked about how they never imagined Eric
would turn on them in this way. He had been
behaving oddly for several months. Apparently he had begun discussing
moving to a different state to live with some buddies
who played online games. They required funds for streaming equipment
and a game setup. At that point, he began inquiring
about who owned the residents. How Eric was able to

(02:45:26):
get the house registered in his name is still a
mystery to me. He took care of the paperwork during
their trip last month, according to Mom, who kept saying it,
I can only presume he falsified my signature because I
never signed any transfer forms. The situation's irony is nearly comical,
since the house was genuinely mine. The same parents who
evicted me from their home two years ago are now

(02:45:47):
pleading with me for assistance. The brother who attacked me
during my son's birthday celebration has now betrayed them by
attempting to take my belongings. Mom talked on the phone
for an hour about how they were going to be
homeless and that they had nowhere else to go because
they had met all of their savings on Eric over
the years, including paying for his failed college attempt, purchasing
his gaming gear, paying for his insurance and car payments,

(02:46:08):
and even paying for his convention attendants. She also disclosed
that Eric's behavior worsened after I stopped communicating with him.
He declared he was going to become a professional gamer
and completely quit his job. He played games all day
and streamed to his modest internet fan base. At night,
he would have tantrums, smash things, and threaten to move
out when they suggested he looked for a job. My

(02:46:29):
father also picked up the phone. He attempted to defend
their conduct by claiming that they just had their two
sons best interests in mind. That they had intended to
ultimately notify me about the bequest, and that they never
imagined Eric would act in such a way. He even
went so far as to suggest that perhaps none of
this would have occurred if I had kept in touch
Without saying anything, I hung up. I received more calls

(02:46:51):
from different family members pleading with me to assist my parents.
Some people made an effort to guilt trip me by
bringing up their advanced age and vulnerability. Others said I
was being just as evil as Eric by not helping them.
Darla believes that since they are still my parents and
appear to sincerely regret their situation, we ought to assist them,
but I find it difficult to sympathize. For fifteen years

(02:47:13):
they misled me about my own property. While I put
a lot of effort into purchasing my own home, they
led their golden child to reside there for free. When
he attacked me in front of my family, they stood
up for him. The only reason they contacted me now
was to ask for something. To find out how Eric
was able to get the house in his name, I
got in touch with a lawyer. The attorney attested to

(02:47:33):
the fact that my grandfather's will did in fact leave
me the house because I never signed any transfer forms.
She is investigating the documents Eric used to transfer the
property and concludes that his claim to the house would
not stand up in court. She added that we could
file a lawsuit against him for forgery. I'm unsure right now,
since my parents are still my parents in spite of everything,

(02:47:54):
I have a part of me that wants to help them. However,
I also believe that they deserve this because they deceived
me and allowed Eric to continue doing so for so long.
Perhaps this is the wake up call they've been waiting
for to realize the true nature of their beloved golden child.
First update, Although it wasn't simple, my lawyer assisted me
in regaining the residence. Yes, Eric had falsified my signature

(02:48:17):
on a number of documents. Additionally, he falsely claimed to
have my power of attorney while lying to other agencies.
After nearly three months of legal proceedings, Eric has been
evicted and the house is once again in my name.
I gained additional knowledge regarding what truly transpired during the
court processes. For months, Eric had been organizing this. He
had discovered my grandfather's will while searching through our parents'

(02:48:39):
old papers. He began looking into ways to transfer property
ownership after realizing the house was legally mine. He even
used a fictitious name to join some internet communities on
real estate fraud. The quality of the fake documents was
very high. According to my attorney, Eric ought to have
had assistance from a property law expert. Later on, we
discovered that he had been and using money he borrowed

(02:49:01):
from our parents to pay an internet consultant, claiming the
money was for gaming equipment. Eric lost it all when
the police arrived to a victim, he locked himself in
his room and wouldn't leave. After hours of haggling, he
eventually agreed to go. When the door was threatened to
be broken, he would not stop yelling that we were
all out to destroy his life and that everyone was
against him. I was urged by my parents to allow

(02:49:22):
them to remain in the house after obtaining my location
from a family member. They arrived at my house and
genuinely collapsed in the driveway. They have nowhere else to go.
Mom said, sobbing. Dad was crying something I had never
seen him do before, and he was apologizing for keeping
the truth about my inheritance a secret. They acknowledged that
they had used up all of their retirement funds on Eric,

(02:49:43):
including loans they had taken out to finance his gaming career,
costly gaming settings, car payments, insurance, and the tuition for
the one semester he attended college. They had genuinely thought
that one day he would succeed as a streamer and
repay them. At last, Dad acknowledged that they had overindulged Eric.
He claimed that over the years they had observed indications
of his manipulative behavior, but had consistently made excuses for him.

(02:50:07):
They believed he would eventually mature and become responsible if
they provided him with adequate time, resources, and support. Mom
disclosed the ways in which Eric had deceived them. On
the house transfer. He had persuaded them that it was
merely a formality to assist him in launching a gaming company.
He assured them that after he became a successful streamer,
he would look after them forever. They wanted to be

(02:50:28):
sure their baby boy wouldn't turn on them, so they
trusted him. Darla and I talked it over, and I
agreed to let them stay under certain restrictions in order
to remind them that they are living in my home.
They must first pay rent, which is not market rate
because they are now on a fixed income. Second, if
they wished to have any kind of contact with me
or their grandchildren, they must go to family therapy. Third,

(02:50:50):
without my express consent, they are never allowed to let
Eric into the house. The eviction was not well received
by Eric. He began threatening every one, including Darla, our parents,
and myself. He accused me of turning our parents against
him and wrecking his life since it was his home
and he had nowhere else to go. He insisted that
I allow him to return. I kept all of his

(02:51:11):
threatening messages in case we needed them later, and I
banned his number. Eric was CouchSurfing at his gaming pals
houses when I last heard from him. His ambitious intentions
to move in with his online pals apparently fell through
when they discovered he was broke. Since he is my brother,
other family members advised me to assist him, but I declined.
He attempted to use forgeries and fraud to steal my residence.

(02:51:33):
In my opinion, he is no longer my brother. Third update,
it has been an interesting six months. As agreed upon
my parents have been going to therapy and paying their
rent on time. Although it's a gradual process, they are
attempting to mend our friendship. There are fresh disclosures every
week regarding the various ways in which their partiality harmed
both of their boys. At last, Mom acknowledged that they

(02:51:56):
felt bad for allowing Eric. It seems that they were
having financial difficult fulties when Eric was born, so they
were unable to provide him with the same luxuries that
I enjoyed throughout my early years. They began to overindulge
him in order to make up for it. What began
as purchasing him additional toys evolved into a lifetime of
condoning misbehavior. During one therapy session, Dad lost it when

(02:52:16):
he saw how their behavior made Eric into an entitled
monster and drove me away. He acknowledged that they secretly
knew I would be all right because I was a
responsible and diligent worker. They therefore gave Eric their whole
attention because they believed he required greater support to thrive
in life. Eric wrote me a long email last month.
He asserted that he had also been going to therapy
and had come to terms with his errors. He claims

(02:52:38):
that after being evicted, he reached his lowest point, his
streaming career never took off, and none of his gaming
pals wanted to take him in permanently. He currently shares
an apartment with three roommates and works at a warehouse.
Eric apologized in the email for everything, trying to steal
the house, faking my signature, and assaulting James on his birthday.
He claimed that treatment enabled him to see how his

(02:53:00):
perspective of the world had been distorted by his parents partiality.
He promised to pay the rent this time and asked
if he may live with our parents again. I turned
down his request. I sent the e mail to my attorney,
who suggested that I stop communicating with him because of
his track record of deceit and deception. Even though I
inherited the house, I worked hard to obtain everything else

(02:53:20):
in my life. Even if he says he has changed,
I will no longer tolerate his behavior. I continue to
face criticism from some family members for charging my elderly
parent's rent. They claim that I'm being unkind and that
families ought to provide unpaid support to one another. However,
this is about boundaries. And consequences, not money. My parents
only expressed regret when they wanted something from me, allowed

(02:53:42):
my brother to be abused, and concealed my inheritance for
fifteen years. They're fortunate that I am allowing them to
remain at all. Mom still occasionally remarks about Eric's difficulties.
She said last week that he might lose his car
because he couldn't afford his car payment. I quickly put
an end to that by telling her that he is
an adult who attempted to defraud me out of my house.
If they wish to, they can assist him, but not

(02:54:04):
while residing in my home. Darla says we should ask
them to dinner occasionally so they can see their grandchildren,
but she believes I'm being fair. Every now and then
James inquires about his grandparents. I'm thinking about it, but
I'm not yet prepared for frequent family get togethers. The
treachery is still too recent. This set up works for
the time being. I have authority over my property, my

(02:54:26):
parents have a secure place to live, and Eric is
at last coming to terms with the repercussions of his behavior.
Clear limits and punishments can sometimes improve family relationships. I've
discovered that being family does not entail being exploited by others.
It entails respecting one another's limits and being accountable to
one another. The conclusion. Now to the next story. Nine.

(02:54:48):
My mom remarried, brought in her husband and stepdaughter, who
insulted me and damaged my things. Now they seized my
house during my trip. It never occurred to me twenty
seven degrees fahrenheit that I would write an article like this,
Yet here we are. It all began when I was
seated in our living room and informed by my parents
that they were divorcing. I was already living with them,

(02:55:08):
saving money and working a regular office job. There was
no fighting or yelling during the divorce. It was just
two people who had grown apart and had different goals
in life. I think I handled it quite well because
I had anticipated it. They were living parallel lives under
one roof, and family dinners had grown infrequent. I continued
our pizza and sci fi movie habit by spending every

(02:55:28):
other weekend with Dad fifty nine million, who moved to
an apartment across town. A year after the divorce, Mom
fifty nine f met my now stepfather fifty seven m
and everything changed drastically. One morning, she was so excited
that she virtually floated home. She declared, I've met some
one special during breakfast. He has a daughter in college.

(02:55:49):
Wouldn't it be nice to have a sister. My stepfather
and his daughter twenty one f came into our home
after they were married. In a matter of months, everything
began to come apart. At that point, when grown ups
were present, my stepsister might have looked like an angel
in her expensive clothing, but when they weren't, she was
some one else. Little things were the first. The laundry
would destroy my preferred work outfits. Coffee stains would inexplicably

(02:56:13):
appear on important documents. My personal belongings would disappear and
then reappear damaged. Even worse was my stepfather, who was
often making disparaging comments about my lifestyle, appearance, and professional choices.
Don't you think that skirt's a bit short for the office,
he'd respond, Or maybe if you spent less time on
your phone and more time net working, you'd have a

(02:56:34):
better position by now. I attempted to discuss these experiences
with Mom, but she consistently dismissed my worries. She'd remark,
he's just being protective. He wants what's best for you.
Over time, everything became too much to handle. I had
spent weeks honing every element of a pivotal presentation while
staying late at work. When I arrived home early one evening,

(02:56:55):
I discovered my step sister purposely destroying my presentation materials
in my room. She had ruined my work with markers,
leaving her hand smeared with ink. Things became heated when
I confronted her and presented Mom and my stepfather with
the evidence. The worst part, my stepfather accused me of
mistreating his precious daughter and called me a stupid as
if I were the one causing the trouble. Mom simply

(02:57:16):
sat there and shook her head at me. I had
trouble sleeping that night. I had made up my mind.
By dawn. Dad arrived to fetch me up twenty minutes
after I called him. Mom came out to object as
I was packing my things into his truck. She remarked,
you're overreacting. Why can't you just try to get along.
I looked over at her. Your husband called me a fool,

(02:57:36):
and you sat there silently. Your stepdaughter destroyed my work,
and you did nothing. That's not overreacting, that's self preservation.
When Dad heard this, he went up to my stepfather.
Security had to step in before things were physical, since
it heated up so quickly. It was like inhaling fresh
air after being submerged. When I finally moved in with Dad,
it's time to stop being cautious. No more looking for

(02:57:59):
sabotage in my room. A few days later, I received
a note from Mom. I can't believe you set your
father against my husband like this. You're tearing this family apart.
I didn't answer which family was she referring to the
one where I was verbally abused by her husband. Where
did her stepdaughter ruin my belongings. I concentrated on my
work and saving money rather than obsessing over it. I

(02:58:22):
brought meals from home while my coworkers went out for
fancy lunches. I stayed late and took on more work
when others went out to bars after work. I contribute
a sizable amount of my monthly salary to my future
home fund. I eventually purchased a home with two bedrooms,
a bathroom, a kitchen with granite countertops, and a backyard.
Where I could grow a garden. After three years of
diligent saving, it was all mine, purchased with my own funds.

(02:58:45):
After years of diligent effort and cautious saving, I made
the decision to throw a housewarming celebration, and I made
it clear that Mom could attend, but not my stepsister
or stepfather. She concurred. On the day of the party, however,
they were all present when I opened the door surprise.
Mom whispered feebly, observing my face. As soon as he

(02:59:06):
saw the hardwood flooring and crown molding. My stepfather began
to critique everything, his lips quivering. His statement, it's nice
sounded anything but with her nose in the air, my
stepsister walked around teasingly about how little the kitchen was
and how she would purchase a larger home with a
swimming pool. I was done. Really, that's interesting. What job

(02:59:27):
are you planning to buy it with? She flushed, I
have prospects. When I said, prospects aren't paychecks. Last I heard,
you were still living off your dad's credit card. My
stepfather took a menacing stride forward as his face grew
scarlet with anger. Mom gave me a pitying glance over
her shoulder as she swiftly escorted them out after grabbing

(02:59:47):
his arm. I was trembling with rage as they went,
but I also felt oddly relieved at last I had
confronted them in my own house, according to my own rules.
My true friends joined me in celebrating my accomplishment as
the celebration went on. I had assumed that would be
the end of it, but I had no idea that
things would grow much worse. I have to go to
work now, so I'll update this post tomorrow with what transpired.

(03:00:10):
Is it wrong of me to confront them? In my opinion,
they showed up to disparage all I've worked so hard for,
even though they weren't invited. First update. Since then, a
lot has transpired and I feel uneasy about my present circumstances.
I had an opportunity when my supervisor called me into
his office three months after the housewarming catastrophe for a

(03:00:30):
two week absence. Our organization needed someone to manage a
significant project at another branch. My house, especially my indoor garden,
was my biggest worry, even though it was a fantastic
opportunity for my job. Delicate orchids, temperamental piece lilies, and
my Pride and Joy, a rare bird of paradise that
had just begun to flower, were among the many plants

(03:00:50):
I had grown during the previous few months. I couldn't
stomach the idea of going back to dead plants, and
each one required a different kind of care. I swallowed
my pride and drove to me mom's house after weighing
my options. I knew she had a green thumb, but
we hadn't talked much since the housewarming incident. In addition,
I believed that this might be an opportunity to mend
our relationship, just Mom and me, without the involvement of

(03:01:12):
my stepsister or stepfather. When I showed up at her house,
she appeared astonished. Is everything all right? She ushered me
into the kitchen and asked I asked if she could
take care of my house, especially the plants, and explained
about the business trip. I should have known something was
wrong because of the way her face lit up, obviously
with nearly too much enthusiasm. She said, you are aware

(03:01:34):
of my passion for gardening. I gave her the extra
keys and thorough instructions on how to take care of
each plant. She tucked the papers away after giving them
a fleeting glance. She said, don't worry about anything. Simply
concentrate on your work. Everything will be well taken care
of by me. I dismissed it as my own paranoia,
but there was something strange about her actions. What could

(03:01:55):
go wrong? After all, I thought she was just observing
my plants. I told her my itinerary and emergency contacts
before I left. I reminded her that I would be
gone for two weeks according to the schedule. I jotted down,
the plants just require water. Please, don't invite anyone over
or adjust anything. Although she gave a nod, I couldn't
exactly read her face. Obviously, honey, everything will be all right.

(03:02:20):
The fact that she had consented so fast in spite
of our previous arguments, that she had hardly looked at
the care instructions, and that she kept saying everything will
be fine without addressing the plants directly were all small
details that I began to notice. While I was driving
home that night. I double checked every item in my
home just in case. I snapped pictures of every room
in my house, despite feeling bad about not trusting my

(03:02:42):
own mother. I even put a tiny security camera in
my living room. I noticed Mom's car go by my
street the following morning as I was packing my bags
to go to the airport. She drove by carefully, as
if she was checking something, without stopping or waving. She
said she was merely running errands in the area when
I later called her about it. I'm now writing this
from my downtown hotel room. Even if the project is

(03:03:04):
going well, I still feel nervous. Mom's behavior during our
check in calls has been odd. No matter what time
of day I call, she always appears to be at
my house. I hear strange background noises, such as TV
sounds and clinking plates, which shouldn't be present if she's
just dropping over to watersome plants. She immediately shifted the
topic when I inquired about my bird of Paradise. Everything

(03:03:25):
is all right. Try not to worry too much. Simply
concentrate on your work. I tried to view the stream
from my security camera, but it appears to have been disconnected.
While watering plants. Mom says she unintentionally knocked out the
cord and was unable to figure out how to plug
it back in. To night. I spoke with Dad over
the phone about my worries. He believes I'm being overly suspicious,

(03:03:46):
but he also brought up mom's behavior at the housewarming celebration.
My dear, he replied, keep your eyes wide open, have
faith in your instincts. Even though I still have a
week left, I'm thinking of shortening my trip. Am I
going overboard? I simply hope I'm mistaken about everything right now.
Second update, Well that was far worse than I had anticipated.

(03:04:08):
Things started to get pretty strange during my second week here,
with excuses like in the middle of something or can't
talk right now. Everything's fine. My mom stopped returning my
calls on a daily basis and instead started texting me back.
I heard several people in the background when she finally
picked up, including what sounded strangely like my stepsister's chuckle.
The social media posts followed. Since I have blocked my stepsister,

(03:04:32):
I don't typically check her accounts, but I received screenshots
from a coworker who follows her selfies that she posted
from what was obviously my kitchen were there. One caption
said I love my new granite countertops. She was seen
relaxing on my couch in another watch Netflix while relaxing
in my new living room. I was feeling nauseous. She
had been posting these for days, according to the time stamps.

(03:04:55):
She responded with hard emojis and the following when her
pals inquired about her new location, I finally found my
ideal home. I tried contacting mom again right away, directly
to voicemail. I dialed the phone of my stepfather blocked.
Even my step sister blocked me when I attempted to
phone her. I called my neighbor next door in a
desperate attempt to get help. She hesitated before answering, oh, yes,

(03:05:18):
over the past week, I've observed your sister moving things.
I assumed you were aware. According to your mother, you
were allowing her to stay while she recovered. I could
hardly hold the phone because my hands were shaking so much.
Dad was furious. When I called him take the next
flight back home. He said, I'll see you over there.
I was able to reserve a red eye flight, which

(03:05:38):
landed shortly after midnight. The first thing I noticed when
the uber dropped me off at my house, the house
I had worked so hard to purchase, was that all
of the drapes had been altered. I could see strange
decorations and furniture through the windows. I tried my key
in the lock with shaking hands. It refused to turn.
I made another attempt, this time with more caution. Nothing. Suddenly,

(03:06:01):
the key that had suited my own house perfectly no
longer did. At that moment, I heard footsteps strolling around
my house as if they were supposed to be there.
The door opened before I could call nine one one,
and my step sister appeared, dressed in pajamas as if
she owned the house. She dared to appear irritated at
my presence, and her blonde hair was in an untidy bun.
Why are you in this place? My brain was having

(03:06:23):
trouble processing what I was witnessing, so I said the
words in a whisper. Obviously living here, she grinned, I've
been here for several weeks while you were off playing
business woman. Daddy helped me move in with my suit
case still in hand. I stood there, feeling angry. This
is my home, leave right now? She studied her manicured

(03:06:44):
nails while leaning against my door frame. Yes, that isn't
taking place. I feel very at easy here by the way,
the water pressure in the bathroom is fantastic. A choire outside,
of course, my own home. Every word had enough edge
to pierce. In reaction, she slammed the door in my
face and laughed, really laughed. The latch clicked, and then

(03:07:05):
I heard her footsteps as she left, with my bags
all about me. I stood on my own front porch,
shaking with anger. The flower beds I had meticulously arranged
were illuminated by the yard lights I had put. I
could see my living room through the glass, but it
was no longer my living room. She tossed her jacket
over my couch. My hardwood floors were littered with her shoes.

(03:07:25):
I took out my phone and dialed Mom, my hand shaking.
She sounded sleepy as she heard the third ring. What's
the matter, what's the matter? I nearly let out a yell.
I just got home to find my stepsister living in
my house. She says she's been here for weeks. Tell
her to get out right now, or I'm calling the police.
Don't contact the police. Please. Mom's voice changed from drowsy

(03:07:48):
to frantic. We'll be over. Just wait there, please, What
other place should I go? I can't get out of
my own home. The next half hour was the longest
I've ever experienced. I watched the lights in the house
next to mine turn on as I paced back and
forth on my front porch, seeing me out here in
the middle of the night. What did they think? A
few automobiles passed slowly, perhaps debating whether to make their

(03:08:10):
own police call. At last, Mom's vehicle arrived, driven by
my stepfather, still wearing their jammies beneath their coats. They
hurried out, what's happening. I confronted Mom and made a demand.
Why is my stepsister in possession of my house? Keys?
Why do you allow her to reside here? At least
Mom had the grace to appear uneasy. She needed a

(03:08:31):
place to stay, honey, She was unable to pay the
rent increase when her lease expired. Your home was just
sitting there, unoccupied, just sitting there, vacant. It's my home.
You weren't entitled. As if it clarified everything, Mom added,
the girl needed somewhere to live anyway, Your house is
too large for one person. I kept my eyes on

(03:08:53):
my mother's face, hoping for some recognition of how totally
she had violated my confidence. Rather, she only stood there
offering justifications for the unacceptable, as always when I was younger.
My stepfather went forward with his chest puffed out look.
Telling you about her moving in was pointless. You would
have simply refused. I would have said, no, of course,

(03:09:13):
I can't even enter my own home since the locks
have been changed anyway they needed to be changed, he replied, dismissively,
waving his hand. I was kind to you. I gaped
at him in shock. You know that's against the law,
don't you. Changing the locks on someone else's property is
not an option, he sneered, legal, illegal. It's finished now.

(03:09:35):
This house is too large for just you, and she
needs somewhere to stay, I whispered, lowering my voice to
a perilous whisper. Get her out, Get her out of here,
or I'll call the cops. That recognizable sneer twisted my
stepfather's cheeks. You're not going to do it, Mom moved forward,
her hands clenched. That's it. If you call the police,

(03:09:55):
I'll never talk to you again. Do you want it
that way to utterly ruin this family? I let forth
a rough, acrid laugh. This family. Do you mean the
time you allowed your husband to occupy my home without
permission that household. Rather than answer, they turned and left
me there with my bags. As they entered my house
with a last click, the door shut behind them. As

(03:10:17):
I took out my phone, my hands stopped shaking. Don't
hesitate any longer, No more attempting to maintain harmony. Even
though Dad believes I made the correct decision, I can't
get mom's vowed and never talk to me again out
of my mind. Third update. When I dialed nine one one,
things proceeded swiftly. Two police cars with bright lights arrived
in less than twenty minutes. I told the officers what

(03:10:39):
was going on, and the neighbors were clearly awake, now
watching from behind their curtains. Are you the legitimate owner,
the officer inquired. Using my phone, I retrieved the property
records and screenshots of my stepsister's social media posts demonstrating
her move into her new place. I said, yes, I
do have all the paperwork. I gave my mother a
key so she could water my plants while I was

(03:11:01):
gone on business. Rather, they changed all the locks and
moved my stepsister in. The doorbell was rung by the
officer After a long silence, there were shuffles coming from within.
The door opened at last. As they stood there, my mother, stepfather,
and stepsister made a vain attempt to project confidence. Good evening,
said the cop Everyone inside must provide identification and proof

(03:11:23):
of residency. My stepfather took the stage, speaking in his
most convincing business voice. There was a miscommunication. My daughter
is permitted to remain here by my stepdaughter. She is
attempting to stir trouble after they had a falling out.
That is untrue, I interrupted. I never granted authorization while
I was out on business. They exploited me. Inquire about

(03:11:45):
the locks. They will acknowledge that they altered them without
telling me. The first thing my stepfather said was the
old locks were defective. You admit that you changed the
locks without the homeowner's consent. The officer paused to take notes.
My stepsister came forward, dread taking the place of her
previous arrogance. Daddy assured me things would be all right.

(03:12:05):
He claimed that after she grew accustomed to the concept,
she wouldn't mind changing locks on someone else's property and
occupying their home without permission constitutes illegal entry. The officer replied,
glaring at my stepfather, we will need to request that
you and your daughter visit the station. Mom burst into tears.
This is simply a family issue. Please, we can resolve this.

(03:12:26):
Your husband and stepdaughter have admitted to changing locks and
occupying property without the owner's consent. The officer sternly retorted
it is illegal to do so. After that, everything occurred
pretty fast. As they escorted my stepsister to the patrol car,
she began to cry for the first time. My stepfather
remained silent, despite his fury, turning his face crimson. As

(03:12:47):
they took her husband and daughter away. Mom shook on
the porch. I called an emergency locksmith with the authority's assistants,
and he came an hour later. Mom eventually spoke as
he sought to get me back into my own house.
How were you able, she hardly raised her voice above
a whisper. How could you harm your own family in
this way? Looking at her, this lady who had spent

(03:13:08):
years choosing everyone else over me, I felt oddly at ease.
You stated long ago that they were your true family, Mom,
I murmured softly. You sat there silently the day she
ruined my work presentation. The day you turned away when
he called me derogatory names. They treated me like trash.
Every time you told me to be the bigger person.
They were the ones you repeatedly selected. They will now

(03:13:30):
have criminal histories. She cried. Was it what you were
looking for? I answered, I wanted my mother to protect me.
My goal was to feel secure in my own house.
The only thing I wanted was for you to pick me.
After completing his task, the locksmith gave me the replacement keys.
I tested them in the lock as mom watched. From
now on, you are no longer my daughter, she declared,

(03:13:52):
her voice trembling with rage. You have no right to
ruin our family in this way. For the last time
I looked at her the day you did decided that
your new spouse and his daughter were more significant than
your own child. You ruined our family. I just quit
allowing you all to mistreat me. She climbed into her
vehicle and drove off. I entered my home, my transformed,

(03:14:12):
violated home. All of my lovely plants had died from carelessness.
My beloved bird of Paradise was also wilted and brown.
My stepsister had filled my cabinets with her belongings and
reorganized everything in the kitchen. Designer clothes were all over
my spare bedroom, which had been transformed into her personal closet.
Later that day, the police made a call. They wanted

(03:14:33):
to know whether I would file a complaint. I considered forgiveness,
family loyalty, and mom's tears. Then I recalled being gaslighted,
abused and told to just take it. Yes, I firmly
said I wish to file charges. In a frightening email,
my stepfather threatened to sue me for his daughter's psychological suffering.
Without replying, I sent it to my attorney. On social media,

(03:14:57):
my stepsister made evasive posts about toxic people who pret
tend to be victims, but I suppressed her accounts. Over
the weekend, I thoroughly cleaned my house to remove any
evidence of their presence. I started over after discarding the
dead plants. I installed better cameras and changed all the
security codes with the help of Dad and his girlfriend.
Mom sent one last text last night saying I hope

(03:15:18):
you're happy with what you've done. I blocked her number
since you've ruined everything. Fourth update. A lot has transpired
since my last update, which was a few months ago.
The court case proceeded more quickly than anticipated. Rather than
risk a trial, both my stepsister and my stepfather accepted
plea agreements. They were both placed on probation and mandated

(03:15:39):
to reimburse me for the expense of replacing the locks
and for the damage they caused to my residence. Above all,
they have a legal obligation to avoid my property. In court,
my stepsister attempted to play the victim by claiming that
she was only doing what her father had told her
to do and was unaware that it was against the law.
The judge was unimpressed, particularly after seeing her boastful social

(03:15:59):
media post about her new house. Until the very end,
my stepfather remained haughty, accusing his lawyer of being spiteful
and disrespectful. Mom attended the court sessions, but she sat
beside them. She never gave me a glance. She made
an attempt to approach me in the parking lot following
the sentencing. Are you happy now? She inquired, your stepsister

(03:16:19):
has a criminal record because of you. Is this retaliation?
I felt nothing except sympathy when I looked at her,
actually looked at her. Mom, This is not retaliation. This
is the result, they moved in without my consent, after
breaking into my house and changing my locks. How could
that be acceptable? As usual, Mom said she needed a

(03:16:39):
place to stay. I answered, then you ought to have
allowed her to remain with you or assisted her in
locating a residence of her own. You decided to steal
mine instead. As she normally does when she loses an argument,
she breaks down in tears. You have my undying forgiveness
for this. This family has been ripped apart by you.
I maintained my life composure no mother, when you decided

(03:17:03):
that their enjoyment was more important than my well being
years ago, you tore this family apart. I'm just at
last advocating for myself. I ran into my aunt at
the grocery store last week. She made an effort to
guilt trip me by claiming that Mom was having trouble
adjusting to our distance from one another and that I
ought to try to make amends. I informed her that
some bridges must remain burned. I'm getting better sleep now.

(03:17:25):
The more time passes, the less I anxiously check my
phone for alerts from my new security system. The sunlight
coming through my windows is helping my new plants grow.
I'm going to see Dad and his girlfriend next month,
and they call frequently out of habit. I occasionally find
myself reaching for the phone to contact Mom, but the
temptation is quickly squelched when I recall that night on

(03:17:45):
my doorstep when I was locked out of my own house.
My mother passed away years ago when she decided to
prioritize her new family over me, so losing her isn't
the worst part, excepting that she will never comprehend what
she did wrong is the most difficult aspect. In his
last threatening email, my stepfather discussed family loyalty and how
I had betrayed them through his attorney. One words was

(03:18:06):
my lawyer's response. Family loyalty should have started with respecting
my client's property rights. I've changed my phone number, installed
cameras throughout my house, and blocked them on all platforms.
This may seem extreme to others, but I'm not taking
any chances. In light of what they did. I've decided
to sever all communication with them. Life continues. Last week,

(03:18:27):
I received a promotion at work. The plants they killed
are being replaced by new ones, and my garden is
growing again. I recently started seeing someone who respects my
limits and is aware of my trust concerns. There are
some bridges that must remain burned. Sometimes severing links is
the only healthy option, not just a choice. This is
going to be my last update on the matter. It's

(03:18:48):
time to put this chapter behind me and concentrate on
starting a new life, a life free of poisonous relatives,
without being overly cautious, without sacrificing my personal limits for
those who have never honored them. I am at liberty.
Now to the next story. Ten. My husband planned a
dinner with his ex, made me feel like the rebound,
and now our marriage is falling apart original post throw

(03:19:11):
away account. I really need input from people who don't
know us so their opinions aren't biased. I'm very emotional
and tired, so I apologize in advance for any typos.
My husband, Jack, male thirty six, used to date Emma
female thirty four for years. They broke up because Jack
didn't want to get married or have kids. Emma moved away,

(03:19:32):
and about a month later Jack met me, f thirty.
I don't look like the typical girls Jack had been dating.
For example, Emma is super tall, blonde with blue eyes
and has a pH d. I'm petit one hundred ten pounds.
In short, I'm a nurse, I have dark, curly hair,
and I'm an introvert. Apparently she was a social butterfly.

(03:19:52):
Jack has a group of friends that he's known since childhood.
They are like brothers to him, but from the very
beginning they didn't like me. They still call me the
rebound girl. At our wedding, during his best man's speech,
he joked, we all thought rebound girls were temporary, but
our brother Jack made an honest woman out of her.
Everyone laughed, I didn't. They also joked that I'm just

(03:20:14):
a nurse and that Jack downgraded since he has a
PhD technically postdoctoral from a doctor to just a nurse.
For my own sanity, I ignore them, and Jack still
hangs out with them regularly. Last weekend, there was a
fundraising gala and Emma was there. I saw her for
the first time in person. Jack introduced me and Emma said, yeah,

(03:20:34):
I know who she is. The guys weren't kidding when
they described her, ha ha. Jack quickly changed the topic
and asked how long she was in town. She said
for a week, and then they ended up chatting all night,
reminiscing about old times. I decided to talk to other
people later. At bedtime, Jack mentioned that he should go
out to dinner with Emma. I assumed he meant inviting

(03:20:54):
her over, so I asked what kind of food she
likes so I could make it. He said no, it
would just be the two of them. I asked, like
a date and he replied no, just two friends going
to dinner. Why are you so insecure? I asked him
do you miss her? Do you miss being with her?
He said, I'm not going to lie. It felt great
talking to her tonight. There's just something about her. I

(03:21:17):
got really upset and told him he can do whatever
he wants, but if he goes on this dinner date,
I'm done. He thinks I'm overreacting and being insecure, so
wise people have read it is this rebound girl overreacting. Update.
It's four forty five a m. And I didn't sleep
last night. I thought i'd post an update. I decided
to stay awake and talk to him when he came home.

(03:21:39):
When he did, I told him I could have tracked
your location, shown up at the restaurant, and done so
many things to get my answer, but I'd like to
believe you have enough respect for me to tell me.
Were you on a dinner date with your friends or Emma?
He showed me pictures and said, no, it was all
of us, me, my friends, and Emma. I was stupid
enough to feel relieved, even feeling bad for accusing him.

(03:22:02):
Then he told me to sit down because we needed
to talk. He said that after seeing Emma at the gala,
he couldn't stop thinking about her. He decided to take
Monday and Tuesday yesterday off and spent the whole day
with her while I assumed he was at work. He
went on about how strong their connection was, how they
couldn't stop talking, and how much he enjoyed being with her.
He told me I'm a sweet woman, but he never

(03:22:23):
felt that spark with me. He said that at dinner,
Emma was laughing and having fun with everyone, and it
felt like old times compared to me being quiet and
uncomfortable around his friends. He said, it's best if we
go our separate ways. I asked him if they had sex,
and he didn't reply. I asked again and again, but
he still wouldn't answer. I was so upset and asked,

(03:22:44):
why did you marry me if you're not over her.
He said he thought I was the one, but these
past two days made him realize there's no spark between us.
He kept going on about how sweet I am and
that I'll find someone too. I told him to shut up.
I said, Emma knew about your cancer tree. Where was
she when you needed a friend? Why didn't she ever
call you back? Then he went quiet. I feel stupid

(03:23:07):
for ignoring all the red flags over the years and
wasting six years of my life with him. My next
step is hiring a lawyer and finding my own place.
I feel so numb right now. I'm going to contact
my brother to help me. Thank you. Everyone can Specs
brings guests for sleepover if his name on the house title.
October twenty third, twenty twenty four. I will see a
lawyer soon. My ex and I got into a huge

(03:23:28):
argument tonight. We share a house that we are currently
living in. He sleeps in our bedroom. I sleep in
the spare room. He told me tonight that he wants
his girlfriend to stay with him, yes, at our house
while she is in town. Can I legally call the
police to kick her out? Or since the house is
under his name too. He can bring any one and
cops can't do anything. I suggested he moves out so

(03:23:50):
he can invite whoever he wants, but he doesn't want
to pay mortgage for our current house and rent for
a place he would be staying. Update three. So many
people have asked for an update. There isn't much to
share except that my ex has been extremely difficult. He
and his affair partner AP took time off work. They
are traveling and having fun. He refuses to respond to

(03:24:10):
or acknowledge me. I no longer have access to his money.
I'm working extra shifts to cover the mortgage. I've met
with two lawyers, but I realized I can't afford their fees. Thankfully,
I have access to free legal advice sessions through my
Employee Assistance Program EAP at work, so I'm currently on
the waiting list for it. I'm planning to send him
the bill for half of the house expenses since we separated. Meanwhile,

(03:24:34):
he's out traveling and I'm working over time to pay
the mortgage. I can't put the house on the market
because I need his signature on the papers too. So basically,
no real update on my situation. His family has pretty
much ghosted me. His mom initially acted sympathetic but then
stopped replying. His friends never liked me, so that isn't
much of a surprise. On the bright side, I do

(03:24:55):
have an empty house now. I love how quiet and
peaceful it is. Can cry for hours without worrying that
anyone will see me at it. Yes, Emma knows he
can't get her pregnant. I thought I was clever by
telling her their long term plan is either adoption or
using a sperm donor IVF. I felt disgusted hearing about
it because adoption was our plan. Now it's his and

(03:25:17):
her plan. I am not the original poster. Please don't
contact or comment on link posts. Now to the next story. Eleven.
My cousin asked my daughter to perform at her wedding,
but after her success, she became jealous and posted negatively
about her online original post. I hope this is okay
to share here. The reason I'm posting is because of

(03:25:38):
my daughter, who's been hurting in the aftermath of a
recent performance. I'm sorry in advance for how long this
turned out, but any advice from fellow aerialists would be
greatly appreciated. My cousin, Dana not real name, had her
wedding two weeks ago and she asked if my daughter
could perform at her reception. My daughter, Jane, also fake name,
has practiced Silk's lera for the past few years at

(03:25:59):
a nearby circuit studio, and she's also performed within through
the studio at small gigs. She hopes to continue into
adulthood and become a professional teacher, but this recent incident
has shaken her confidence. She has a private Instagram to
document her progress, shot performances, and I only post certain
performances on my Facebook. Her first gig with the studio
and her first recital, to name a few were proud of.

(03:26:21):
Some of our relatives saw her performances through my socials
and they watched her perform at her studio's Christmas recital
when we hosted Christmas at our home a few years back,
something that surprised her when they visited early to see her.
I love how they coordinated that, and Jane said it
was her loudest cheering section to date. Dana was one
of the relatives who came up early to see her
Christmas recital, and she's always been super supportive. She asked

(03:26:43):
me if Jane would be willing to perform at the reception,
and I asked on her behalf. Jane was honored and
excited when I did, and we already had a portable
rig for her too, though we ended up renting a
taller one from her studio. Dana got the idea from
a YouTube video featuring an aerialist who performed at a
wedding reception, and she showed us while requesting white silks
in a white outfit. We scoped out the venue and

(03:27:05):
purchased white silks along with a white costume that Dana
approved of, and Jane was really excited throughout. Jane even
worked on choreography to a song that Dana requested, and
she put a lot of time into it, even asking
one of her coaches to help her with it. Dana
insisted on paying her for the gig, despite Jane not
expecting to be paid, and she paid her a few hundred. However,
Dana's had a change of heart. Jane received a standing

(03:27:27):
ovation after her performance that surprised her, but we didn't
know anything was wrong until Dana went on Facebook a
few days later. Dana said she didn't approve of the
outfit Jane wore and that she specifically told her to
not wear white. She also said my husband and I
pressured her to have Jane perform, and that the performance
gave off an unclassy vibe. Lies that my husband and
I couldn't believe. We sent Dana numerous costume links and

(03:27:49):
we purchased the one she liked. There was also nothing
wrong with Jane's performance. Dana was one of the people
cheering afterward. Jane received nothing but compliments afterward, but I'm
disgusted that she had had to see that post after
all the work she put into it. The post also
had comments disabled for what it's worth. I called Dana
to confront her about the lies, but she didn't pick
up numerous calls. I then called her parents, who like us,

(03:28:12):
had received messages about her post, and they said that
Dana was wrong. They apologized on her behalf and said
they were also disgusted. Dana's mom also said that Dana
vented to her before making her post. A few days
after the reception, Dana told her she regretted asking Jane
to perform given the attention, compliments, and cheers she received
for it. Her mom also said that she felt upstaged

(03:28:33):
with Jane wearing white and having to hear how good
she was. Dana's parents tried to call her after she
made her post, but she didn't answer after their previous
conversation ended with her parents telling her she shouldn't be
bitter because she specifically asked Jane to perform. Dana's parents
reported the post along with us outs others, and we've
told the truth to those who reached out, along with
a post to explain our side stand up for Jane.

(03:28:55):
We have text proof of sending costume links that Dana
chose from Dana's parents also request to talk to Jane
on the phone to apologize for Dana's behavior, and my
husband and I told Jane that Dana was wrong and
that we'll be distancing ourselves from Dana permanently. Dana's parents
were surprised at her behavior, and we were too, having
seen her grow up. Granted, we only see extended family

(03:29:15):
for Thanksgiving and Christmas because we live far, but other
relatives were surprised too, as it seemed to come from
left field. Maybe there's a side of Dana we'll never
know from our limited holiday milestone interactions, but our focus
is Jane. We've tried to cheer Jane up by offering
to take her to dinner, among other activities, but she's
been hurting, which is why I'm here. Jane hasn't practiced
at home or the studio since the reception, and I

(03:29:38):
don't want to invade her space at her studio by
asking telling anyone there in case she doesn't want anyone
to know. She asked me to return the white silks
and costume after being so excited to receive them. She
also said she's going to take an extended break from
aerial photography to reconsider if she wants to continue. Aside
from aerial photography, she's taken a break from seeing non
aerial friends too, choosing to pretty much keep to herself.

(03:30:01):
We would appreciate any advice from fellow aerialists on how
to lift her spirits. We remind her of how we're
proud of her, along with the many compliments she received,
but she's asked for space and to not talk about it.
We're going to respect that and let time do its thing,
but we'll consider any advice from other aerialists who can
relate to the time and work she put in. Sorry
for this being so long, but we appreciate anyone who

(03:30:22):
reads and takes the time to reply comments from the
first post Leslie Barb Nope. I always see aerialists in
white at weddings take comfort in the internet op and
hopefully they can use it as a defense with Dana.
If she wants to be that way, just post the
receipts of how she asked her what to wear, et cetera.
If she's willing to say that for a sixteen year old,
or let it go. It'll pass because I promised Dana

(03:30:44):
we'll have some new crazy thing to do very soon.
These types always do first update before I get into
what's happened since my last post. I want to thank
everyone who took the time to comment. Two pieces of
advice really stood out, and I'll get to them shortly.
Since my original post, Dana's Facebook post is gone. I
don't know if she deleted it or enough people reported

(03:31:04):
it for Facebook to remove it, but we're glad it's gone.
She never apologized to us or Jane or even bothered
to call, so our position on being permanently done with
Dana stands. My husband and I made a post on
my Facebook addressing the lies she spewed about our daughter,
and we shared photoproof of Dana's texts where she approved
of Jane's white costume from links we sent, not to
mention the song choice she sent us to better Yet,

(03:31:26):
Dana's mother reposted it on her account, which really surprised me.
Dana's mother wrote that they loved Jane's act and that
they disapproved of Dana's actions. My husband and I also
made sure that Jane was okay with us addressing it
on Facebook, and she said it was fine. Normally, I
wouldn't use Facebook to address drama if aimed at me,
but since this involves a grown adult attacking a minor,

(03:31:47):
we felt the need to address it publicly because she
disparaged her publicly, and Jane will remember whether we stood
up for her or not years from now. I had
a chance to speak with Dana's mother since my original
post on the phone, and she spoke to Dana again
after our last call. Dana reiterated how she regretted asking
Jane to perform, but she harped on the standing ovation
that bothered her the most. Dana told her that she

(03:32:08):
expected Jane to get some polite applause, but that the
overwhelming response really set her over the edge because she
expected the loudest cheers to be when she and her
husband entered the reception, but that went to Jane instead.
Dana and her husband also received a great reception when
they entered the reception, but Jane's performance did too, and
Dana didn't expect it. Heck, even Jane was surprised by
it too. She never received a standing ovation from a

(03:32:31):
solo act before, but Dana's mother believes that if Dana
had asked someone to sing who received a similar reception,
Dana's jealousy would have been all the same. Someone suggested
seeing if Jane would be interested in speaking to a therapist,
given how hurtful Dana's comments could be for a teen,
and Jane said she's open to it so long as
it isn't a counselor at school, because as of now
she doesn't want anyone at school or her studio to

(03:32:52):
know about the incident, and she vaguely told the coach
who helped her choreograph that it went fine. We will
respect her privacy request as it's her right to control
the narrative, but in the same vein I suggested therapy
for Dana to Dana's mother since her reaction might be
a bigger insecurity, and she said she'd ask. The other
thing someone suggested was the possibility of Dana's husband or
anyone making an inappropriate comment to Jane during the reception

(03:33:15):
that made her shut down and not want to see
friends or practice. Days before Dana's post, my husband decided
to ask her, and Jane said no when he did.
If something happened, perhaps she'd be more comfortable telling a
therapist with time. But on the bright side, she said
she might want to try a different aerial studio because
she doesn't want to answer questions about how it went
or share a video at her home studio, so we

(03:33:37):
will help her find somewhere new, as she asked. We
hope she doesn't permanently leave her current studio because she
has friends and coaches who are supportive, and she performs
with that studio's troupe at festival's gigs. But I personally
understand the need to sometimes go somewhere where nobody knows
you for a break, and we hope that that will
help her. She hasn't said definitely yet, but if we
do we'll take her. She still wants an extended break

(03:33:59):
from air real photography in the meantime, but even if
when she goes back, she said, she may never want
to perform again and would rather do it leisurely, one
of the reasons she doesn't want to return to her
home studio where she's a part of their troop. She
asked if we'd tell her troop coach that she won't
perform with them anymore if it comes to it, and
if that's what she wants down the road, then we will.
Hopefully time heals this wound and helps her at least

(03:34:21):
keep the friends she has there. But we can only hope.
Comments from the first Boreu fleetsd other than Dana, it's
really nice to see a bunch of adults behaving admirably
in support of Jane. I hope Jane is able to
heal and not lose something she's loved doing because of
one mean spirited individual Dria do an ath. Yeah, it
is truly weird how often on this sub we see

(03:34:43):
people making excuses for her outright encouraging terrible behavior. This
was a welcome change. Basic Bishet also Oop didn't take
this to an advice subreddit, but to a subreddit dedicated
to the sport cake for PM. Honestly, I do think
that is key. It's a very specific subject and asking
for advice from other performers karate and pop tarts this

(03:35:05):
is the key. I'm an aerialist as well and a
member of the sub who's been following that story. We're
a pretty small community and very very protective of other aerialists,
especially younger girls. It's also an inclusive sport and not
super competitive, which I think lends to cooler heads. Slovenly
muse this is a hugely important underlying fact. I think

(03:35:25):
that these people are all family. If Dana had hired
an aerialist off of whatever Craig's list is now, they
probably would have received polite applause that didn't upstage the bride.
But Jane was family and the guests were mostly family,
which makes them extra excited to see a young person
in the family doing so well. And they're not just
impressed with her performance, they're proud of her, hence the

(03:35:45):
standing ovation. But this also means that when Dana lashes
out at the aerialist, she's bad mouthing Jane to Jane's
own family. Her wedding guests are not going to automatically
side with Dana because they're Jane's family too, and with
the receipts out there, this isn't going to go well
for Daana at all. I guess you could see this
as a lesson about keeping firm boundaries between personal and

(03:36:05):
professional engagements, but really, I think the main takeaway here
is to avoid marrying a crazy person whenever possible. Last update.
When I tried to make each past post, they were
immediately removed for some reason, Thus why I asked Madison
Brave to post on my behalf. After a few failed
attempts on my original and update posts, I was able
to make a post to my own profile stating that

(03:36:27):
I gave Madison permission to post on my behalf. But
when I tried to add this final update, my account
was suspended as soon as I hit post, and I'm
guessing I tried too many times to repost it, along
with the many attempts on my original and update too.
I have since made a new account and reached out
to the mods for assistance posting my last update after
Madison suggested that I reach out to them instead. Of
constantly reposting it previously, and they were gracious enough to

(03:36:49):
help me. This is going to be the last time
I update, and I want to thank everyone who gave advice.
In my last post, I mentioned that Jane said she'd
be open to talking to a professional so long as
it was wasn't anyone from her school, and we agreed
to accommodate her. However, she changed her mind shortly after
and said she wanted to talk to her coach instead,
whom she had been brushing off since the reception and
being vague about how it went. She and her coach

(03:37:12):
put a lot of time into choreographing the act for Dana,
and she didn't even charge her for the sessions to
do so. Her coach is also part of her Circus
Studio's performing troupe, and she has always been supportive and understanding.
We supported her decision to talk with her coach, and
they did in person. It was after they spoke that
Jane spoke to me, following her coach's suggestion to do so,
and I'm going to be somewhat vague about certain details

(03:37:34):
of our discussion. She also asked to speak to me
first before we'd talked to my husband afterward, and that's
what we did. Jane opened up about how Dana sent
a private message to her Instagram the day after the reception,
but to her personal Instagram and not the private circus one.
Dana's private message was just as bitter as her Facebook posts,
but much more hurtful. Dana called Jane derogatory sexual terms

(03:37:56):
in her message, and I can't express how angry my
husband and I still are. Jane said she was surprised
upon receiving the message. Dana was always supportive of her craft,
and she gave her a standing ovation along with her husband.
Looking back, Dana probably did because everyone else was doing so.
But Dana also wrote that she only received the ovation
because they were family who were biased and couldn't tell

(03:38:18):
the difference between a good and bad aerialist. Jane blocked
Dana long before we spoke, and she said she was
hurt because Dana was one of the relatives who came
up for Christmas early when he hosted some years back
to attend her studio's Christmas recital, which surprised her and
we all went out to dinner afterwards too. My husband
and I tried our best to remind her that Dana's
reaction was a reflection of her insecurities rather than anything

(03:38:39):
Jane did. If the best Man gave a speech that
garnered the same reaction, Dana would have directed her vitriol
at him. Jane said she understood that it wasn't her fault,
but there was more in Dana's message that hurt her confidence,
such as bodily comments that were disgusting. She said she
may return to Ariel at some point, but that she
still needs time and is unsure about performing again compared
to doing it leisurely. We told her, among other things,

(03:39:02):
that we commended her decision to speak with her coach
and that will respect her ultimate decision. Jane also said
that she didn't tell us immediately because she wasn't sure
if she wanted further drama with Dana if we told
her parents about her message. However, after some time, she
said she actually wanted us to tell them because she
felt that Dana deserved repercussions for it. She said she
was surprised that Dana's parents called her out publicly on

(03:39:24):
Facebook without knowing about the message, so that made her
feel comfortable with us telling them. Jane also saved a
screenshot of Dana's message, and while we agreed to tell
her parents, we suggested that she deleted afterwards because it's
not good to carry around hurtful things. She's also still
open to speaking to a professional about the other stuff
in Dana's message that's more hurtful, so long as it's

(03:39:44):
no one from her school. We are in the process
of trying to find a therapist who can help with
some of the infidelities that led to her shut down
in the weeks after the performance. I honestly cannot thank
her coach enough, But I just want to touch on
a few more things that were suggested in the comments.
I received a few dms saying we were just as
bad as Dana for addressing Dana's lies on Facebook, So

(03:40:04):
I want to be clear. My husband and I rarely
use Facebook, and if someone had started drama with me
on a Facebook post, I wouldn't use Facebook to address
it personally. I'd opt for a call instead. But since
she disparaged a minor publicly with lies regarding costumes that
we had text proof of her approving, we felt the
need to post those messages proving that she signed off
on them, and we asked Jane if she was okay

(03:40:25):
with it first. The other thing a few people asked
was whether her costume was potentially inappropriate. The costume we
purchased came from a website that many professional circus performers use,
including some who used to be in Serc du Soilet
and tag the shop while wearing it on their socials,
and we purchased other costumes from there in the past. Heck,
some of their costumes have been used in wedding gigs

(03:40:46):
by hired circus performers too. Jane's costume also received many compliments,
but we're glad Jane realizes that she isn't responsible for
Dana's insecurities. This was also Jane's first negative experience in
her young performing career. Bite knowing Dana is entirely at fault,
her words still hurt as they were close before this.
Jane has kept in contact with her coach since, and

(03:41:07):
she's even considering a different apparatus to take her mind
off of silks that are temporarily tainted. We hope that
time and therapy will help her with whatever she chooses,
but her coach has also floated the idea of organizing
a hangout with her troop completely outside of Ariel like
a zip line a rope course day to get her
mind off of it while seeing her friends, and she
said she'd be open to it. Dana's parents also sent

(03:41:28):
Sherry's Berry's for Jane, which was really sweet, and Jane
sent them a text to thank them too. Regarding Dana's parents,
I discussed the private message with Dana's mother and she
was even more disgusted than before. She said that she
and her husband would deal with it and that there'd
be permanent changes to their relationship with Dana until she
apologizes and then some. She also apologized to us on

(03:41:48):
her behalf and said she didn't raise her to be
like that, but for what it's worth, Even before we
mentioned Dana's message, she told me that Dana's husband wasn't
thrilled with her Facebook post. Among other things Dana complained
about regarding the wedding things that I had no clue about.
She also said she's not sure if they'll be together
much longer due to other things going on too. But
I'll keep this to Jane only and hope that she

(03:42:08):
comes back to Ariel someday or even a different apparatus
if she chooses comments from the last update we all
love dogs, geez, I'm so sorry your daughter had to
deal with that horrible message on top of everything else.
I am glad everyone but Dana seems to be behaving
reasonably and trying to support Jane through this. Honestly, Dana's
behavior kind of goes beyond insecure and mean and into

(03:42:30):
completely inexplicably evil territory. Not that you owe Dana anything,
but especially if she was previously kind and supportive to
your daughter, Dana's parents should for sure look into trying
to get her some professional help too. If there's been
no indication at all of her being this cruel, out
of control previously, and it's seeming out of character to
everyone who knows her, including her parents and husband, is

(03:42:51):
there a legitimate chance that she's experiencing a real psychiatric problem.
Obviously not your responsibility and not an excuse, but something
that those who care about her might want to consider.
And next to story twelve, when my husband had lupus,
my parents abandoned me during pregnancy. They returned years later,
wanting to be grandparents, but never apologized when my husband

(03:43:13):
was diagnosed with lupus. My parents left me during my pregnancy,
saying that he and my unborn child weren't part of
their family. They arrived three years later and expressed a
desire to become grandparents. I severed my relationship with my
parents three years ago after it became evident to them
that my sister was more significant to them than my husband, me,
or even their grandson. For background, after nearly a year

(03:43:35):
of symptoms, my spouse was diagnosed with lupus during my
second trimester. After multiple testing and hospital stays, we received
this diagnosis and it was a very trying period for us.
The news that we were having a baby made us
even more anxious. I anticipated my family to help us
through this. Of course, when I told my parents, they
promised to do everything in their power to support me

(03:43:56):
during my pregnancy and after the baby was delivered. Despite
our tense prior history, I believed we were becoming closer
since my sister moved away after her marriage seven years ago.
Thus their pledge meant a lot to me. During her
time here, my parents always emphasized her as the golden child.
After she moved away and got preoccupied with her life,
I believed I had a chance to connect with my

(03:44:16):
parents at last. I was mistaken. I was only viewed
by them as a stand in for their favorite daughter.
When my sister came home two months after my baby
was born and announced her divorce due to her husband's infidelity,
this became evident my parents spent all of their time
with her right away, forgetting about me and my relatives.
I was heartbroken, knowing that my husband and I were

(03:44:37):
still adjusting to his diagnosis and frequent doctor's appointments. They
had pledged to help with the baby because of his illness,
which left him exhausted most of the time. I wasn't
always able to rely on my spouse at home. Even yet,
I was angry with my parents and never blamed him.
My parents once became I rate and told me that
my sister was more significant to them than I was,
particularly if I were to compare her to my own family.

(03:45:00):
They claimed that although my sister was their family, my
husband and son were neither. I quickly ended the call,
blocked them, and never spoke to them again because that
sentence was so extremely upsetting. Despite the passage of three years,
I still can't get it out of my head. I've
kept them out of my life ever then, and I
want to continue doing so. Fortunately, my in law stepped

(03:45:20):
up and provided us with excellent care. They would visit
every other day to help with the baby and everything
else because they knew my husband was struggling even during
my pregnancy. Even though we got along quite fine without
my parents assistance, it still hurt a lot that they
didn't even think of my husband and son, especially their grandson,
as members of their family. We have now moved on
after three years, we can afford to hire a full

(03:45:43):
time nurse, and last year my husband's web development company
took off. We now operate our business from home together
after I resigned my job to work with him. It
is a practical arrangement. My parents unexpectedly arrived with a
slew of gifts a few days after we celebrated our
son's third birthday. Since we had I hadn't spoken for
three years, they hadn't tried to get in touch, so

(03:46:03):
I was shocked to see them. They didn't even recognize
our earlier talk. When they got there, they pretended that
they had come to meet their grandson and wanted the
opportunity to become grandparents. Rather than offering an apology. I laughed,
closed the door, and refused to interact. Since their actions
were so absurd after what they said the last time
we spoke, I was not going to allow them to
meet my son. Their statement that my husband and son

(03:46:26):
were neither their family nor their responsibilities is still fresh
in my mind. I wanted them to follow it now.
They were agitated and would not go, making noise and
pleading with me to open the door in order to
clear the air, but I had no interest in doing so.
Until they eventually left, I acted as though I couldn't
hear them, despite hearing the entire exchange. My husband and
in laws remained silent until I had composed myself. They

(03:46:49):
talked to me about thirty minutes later and advised me
to talk to my parents again. Even though I didn't
want to give them an opportunity to meet my son
just yet, my spouse and his parents feel that I
should at least listen to them and consider it calmly.
They contend that I would regret not giving my parents
an opportunity to explain themselves because they still made the
effort to show there even though it has been three years.

(03:47:09):
At least I'll feel good about giving them an opportunity
even if it doesn't work out, and they were the
ones who blew it. I followed my instructions. I truly
appreciate that my spouse and in laws were not forcing
their opinions on me. I know that their counsel was
given out of care, but I simply don't want to
speak with my folks. I don't think I need that
type of drama in my life right now, and I

(03:47:30):
don't feel ready. I've always had a tense relationship with
my parents, and following that most recent argument, I made
the decision that I wouldn't talk to them unless they
truly apologized. That still hasn't occurred. They didn't offer an
apology when they recently appeared. Even if they later apologize,
I'll need some time to determine whether their sincerity or
desire to maintain a relationship with their grandchild is the reason.

(03:47:53):
I believe I've earned the right to forgive them, so
I won't be doing it right away. My sister has
always been their top priority, and they have never treated
me well. However, I acknowledged that I might regret not
providing my parents an opportunity to clarify their position and
make amends. As my husband and in laws have pointed out,
I'm unsure of what to do and am bewildered after
three years of no communication. Am I mistaken for not

(03:48:16):
wishing to speak with my parents? Update. I've given it
some thought and read over all of the comments. I
really appreciate your advice. I've come to the conclusion that
I'm not yet ready to speak with my parents. Their
actions have still caused me much emotional pain. They still
haven't apologized, and I had decided not to talk to
them until they did. They had the opportunity to apologize

(03:48:37):
when they arrived the other day, but they chose not to.
After I shut them out, they attempted to speak to
me through the door, claiming that we could resolve the matter.
They never said the one thing they were expected to say.
They were sorry. It's okay. I've gone three years without
speaking to anyone, and I can do the same for
the next three. My husband and his family and I
have spoken about this and we don't have any animosity.

(03:49:00):
This choice isn't causing us any conflict. They knew how
distressed I was when my parents contacted me, so they
were only offering me advice out of concern. They don't
argue or put any pressure on you. Since several comments
seemed to cast doubt on their motives, I just wanted
to make that clear. The support from my husband and
in laws is tremendous. Even if it were for the
benefit of my family, they would never make me do

(03:49:21):
something I wasn't prepared for. My parents were quite kind
when I told them how I felt and that I
wasn't ready to talk to them. They assured me that
they would respect my choice and not put any pressure
on me, even if I didn't feel ready at any time. Thereafter,
they made it clear that they would totally support me
in making the greatest decision for myself since they trusted
me to do so. Although I appreciate their understanding, I

(03:49:42):
simply don't feel prepared to speak with my parents at
this time Right now. I don't want that kind of
turmoil in my life. My parents haven't tried to get
in touch with me since their visit, which was nearly
a week ago. I'm not sure why they made the
abrupt attempt to get in touch after three years, but
I have a feeling they might try again. It's okay
if they don't. If they do, they must first apologize

(03:50:04):
before I will engage them. Second update, my sister contacted
me earlier this week. She messaged me on Instagram to
ask if we could have lunch because she was in
the area and I hadn't blocked her. Despite our lack
of animosity, my sister and I have never been particularly close.
Although we had disagreements when we were teenagers, things have
been peaceful ever since. I was hesitant to meet her

(03:50:25):
at first, but I accepted her message because it seemed genuine.
We haven't communicated much during the last three years, usually
simply sharing birthday and holiday greetings. In spite of my
suspicion that she would eventually bring up our parents, meeting
her wasn't as awkward as I had anticipated. We struck
up a conversation. She stated that she has been residing
close by ever since her divorce was finalized two years ago.

(03:50:48):
She acknowledged that she had been too busy to schedule
a meeting with me earlier. We both knew that was untrue.
We had just not given each other priority. However, I
accepted her excuse because it would have been embarrassing to
admit that straight. She told me that after spending her
first year back with our parents, she moved to a
suburban home and now resides with her partner. She also
disclosed that although she hasn't made the announcement yet, she

(03:51:10):
recently got engaged. I really congratulated her and expressed my
happiness for her. I was happy to see her moving
on with her life because I knew how deeply her
ex husband's infidelity had wounded her. She eventually brought up
our parents after meeting up. Things took an unexpected turn
at this point. Since she has always gotten along with
them and they have always put her first. I expected
her to stand up for them, although it wasn't her fault,

(03:51:33):
she never seemed to bother. Instead, she informed me that
she is currently at odds with them. She acknowledged that
she wanted to talk to me about a few things
and to express her regret for the past. I was
surprised since I didn't think she needed to apologize because
our parents, not her, were the source of my problems.
But she clarified that her recent altercation with them had
caused her to consider what she had done. Even though

(03:51:55):
she knew our parents preferred her, she felt bad about
how she had treated me in the past, and for
never challenging them. She regretted not doing more to address
the dynamic, which she was aware of. I urged her
not to be ridiculous, but she wanted to apologize for
never defending me. What could she have done? Really, our parents,
not her, were the issue. She acknowledged that she let

(03:52:15):
things precede the way our parents desired, but she stated
she should have stood up for me. Although I truly
appreciated her addressing it. I informed her that I didn't
blame her and that she didn't need to feel sorry.
She then began to explain to me why she and
our parents were currently at odds. She got engaged to
her boyfriend, which apparently upset them because they thought it
was too soon after her divorce. They were concerned about

(03:52:37):
what people might think and felt that it was inappropriate
to think of getting married again so soon. But my
sister didn't give a damn about such views. She clarified
that she had lost interest in her ex husband even
prior to her divorce. Before she found out about his affair,
they had been dragging their marriage along for more than
a year. Their relationship had ended a long time ago,
and she believed that our parents were being self centered

(03:52:58):
by expecting her to put off moving on because they
were afraid of rumors. Since it's common to move on
after a broken marriage, I don't think anyone would find
this circumstance intriguing enough to engage in gossip. Her timing
is perfectly acceptable. She was also arguing with them about
having kids, as if that wasn't awful enough. She is
an independent woman who does not owe our parents' grandchildren. Therefore,

(03:53:19):
I found it incomprehensible that she was still answerable to
them for her own choices. In spite of this, our
parents were fighting about her decision to forego having children.
Our mom tried to persuade our dad that at least
her plan to remarry meant she would have children soon.
While they were discussing whether it was right for her
to get engaged so quickly, she even mentioned my sister's
biological clock, saying it was time for her to consider

(03:53:41):
starting a family. My sister had to explain, of course,
that she had no intention of having children, not now.
Not ever, she planned to live a completely childless life.
Our parents were even more horrified by this discovery. Her
decision to stay childless simply served to exacerbate their already
irritated feelings about her hate the engagement. They haven't spoken

(03:54:02):
to each other since this argument got out of hand
and caused a significant fallout. My sister broke down at
the restaurant while she was telling me this. It was
obvious that she wasn't managing the issue effectively. I did
everything in my power to console her. Since she had
dedicated her entire life to avoiding failing our parents, I
could see how difficult it must be for her. She
actually said that even when she started experiencing problems in

(03:54:25):
her first marriage, she continued to be in the poisonous
relationship because our parents didn't believe that divorce was the answer.
Clearly that marriage had not ended well before his affair
ended the marriage, her ex husband had been poisonous, and
they had fought nearly every day. My sister made the
decision to go her own way this time, even if
it meant disappointing our parents, even though she genuinely loved

(03:54:46):
them and didn't want to lose them. She informed me
that she couldn't keep living her life according to their wishes,
particularly when it came to important choices like marriage and
having kids. Our parents had attempted to persuade her that
having a kid would resolve all of their marital issues.
In her price marriage, she claimed that because her ex
husband was so toxic, having a kid with him would
have simply made matters worse. Thus she had escaped a bullet.

(03:55:08):
She told me that she had never wanted children in
the first place, and that she had made a lot
of choices just to appease our parents. For instance, rather
than following her own interests, she chose to study business
in college because it was what they desired. Our parents
had controlled every aspect of her life, and now she
simply desired to live her life as she saw fit.
I felt terrible for her as she broke down and

(03:55:29):
started crying as I tried to console her. After years
of stress and hardship, this mature woman was finally crumbling.
I came to see how foolish it had been of
me to believe that her life was ideal. Our parents
put a lot of pressure on her, and she had
been fighting to survive all the time. That same pressure
has also caused a rift between us along the way.
I made the decision to stop it. We had already

(03:55:50):
squandered too much time acting as though we were unrelated
to one another. In actuality, we were sisters, and our
parents had destroyed our bond. I refused to allow them
to continue to rule our lives. I assured my sister
that she could now confide in me about anything after
so many years of avoiding me. I was happy that
she had decided to speak with me. I informed her

(03:56:11):
that she didn't need to allow our parents to make
her feel bad because she wasn't doing anything wrong. I
encouraged her, telling her she didn't need our parents approval
any more and gave her a pep talk, Following their
wishes hadn't exactly worked out for her in the past,
as evidenced by her first marriage, and she was mature
enough to make her own decisions. Even while I couldn't
promise that her new marriage would work out, I assured

(03:56:33):
her that if it did, at least she would be
responsible for it and not have to hold any one
else accountable. I also mentioned that our parents had come
to see me recently in an effort to patch things up.
They obviously didn't come to truly apologize or mend our relationship.
They were attempting to take advantage of their second chance
with my family after realizing they wouldn't have grandchildren from
my sister. This insight made my blood boil. I won't

(03:56:56):
allow them to treat my son like a placeholder, because
he is not. My sister looked scared when I told
her about our parents visit. The timing was simply too shady.
They arrived at my home attempting to infiltrate my son's
life when they abruptly discovered that their favorite daughter would
not be bearing them grand children any time soon. My
sister concurred that it was suspicious and assured me that
I had made the right decision in refusing to let

(03:57:18):
them in or extend forgiveness. Even if I had been
thinking about forgiving them if they apologized after this, I'm
not doing it any more. I'm glad I chose to
have lunch with my sister that day to work things out.
Despite my initial skepticism, I'm actually happy I accepted the
lunch at all. I discovered many things I should have known,
but most all, I came to the conclusion that my

(03:57:38):
sister's life was not as idyllic as I had always thought.
For me, this changed everything. My in laws are aware
of what I said to my sister, and I have
discussed everything with my husband. Since it's obvious that my
parents weren't here with the best of intentions, they are
adamantly opposed to me making amends with them now. Their
hidden agendas were repulsive. My sister and I have stayed

(03:57:59):
in contact ever since since. Despite her initial wish for reconciliation,
she has made the decision to completely cut off contact
with our parents. She acknowledged they didn't deserve it after
talking to me. They not only mistreated me, but they
also put a lot of pressure on her for years.
She informed me that she didn't even know who she
truly was for a long time because she had spent
so much of her life trying to please them. It

(03:58:21):
may sound cheesy, but for her, that's the real deal.
She's had enough now, though, and I'm happy that she's
standing up for herself. We both need our parents to
keep their distance and let us live our lives as
we see fit. They've caused enough harm. Third update, my
sister and I have been corresponding daily for the past
five weeks since our lunch date. Sincerely, we both needed

(03:58:41):
this but were unaware of it until now, so I'm
extremely happy that we're getting back in touch. We were
both made aware of how horribly our parents treated us
by that lunch talk. Our parents made another attempt to
get in touch with us last week. Since we've blocked
them everywhere else, they sent us an email. Even still,
their tone was patronizing, as though they were reaching out
to us as a favor. We responded that we didn't

(03:59:03):
need that and asked them to avoid us before blocking
them once more. We both spend a lot of time
attempting to gain their favor, but it's obvious now that
we can't win with them. We no longer want to
be good daughters to them because they weren't good parents
to either of us. We cut them off entirely after
sending them our last response. They haven't made another attempt
to get in touch since I hope they leave us

(03:59:24):
alone at last. That negativity is not what I want
in my life. They are awful people in addition to
being bad parents. I'm glad I stopped seeing them years
ago because she was so devoted to them. It has
been more difficult for my sister. In all honesty, though
it seems more like Stockholm syndrome. I'm here to support
her while she deals with it. Now we've become much closer,

(03:59:45):
and I'm even helping to organize her wedding. It says
a lot. All I can hope for is that everything
goes smoothly and that our parents stay out of it.
Fourth update. Last week, my sister got married. I had
a great time serving as a bridesmaid. They kept quiet
and small. I don't see why my parents couldn't get
along with her husband. He seems like a wonderful man.

(04:00:06):
My sister seemed to be truly content in this relationship. Therefore,
it's their loss. They were obviously very happy at the wedding.
It's really pitiful that our parents were unable to approve
of this because they were worried about what unimportant people
would think. My sister and I are clearly getting along
well these days. We're actually quite close friends. I'd say.
Our parents haven't contacted us in a while. They informed

(04:00:28):
us via email approximately five months ago that they were
giving everything to charity and that we shouldn't expect an
inheritance because we are ungrateful brats. I'm not sure why
they felt the need to inform us of that or
what they anticipated would occur next. They must be disappointed
that we didn't go pleading for their pardon, But it
doesn't matter to anyone. I'm content with my life, my son,

(04:00:48):
my spouse, and my in laws, who are far superior
to my parents. My sister is content with her spouse
as well. Our parents are free to remain alone and
stew in their resentment and hatred. It's really their life.
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