My Golden Brother Hired A Private Investigator To Expose Me As A Failure, But...

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
My golden brother hired a private investigator to expose me
as a failure, but instead he uncovered my multi million
dollar success. I was raised in a quaint little village
with my two siblings. The middle sibling is me. The
fact that everyone there knows one another can be both
a strength and a weakness. My father is the kind
of man who puts in a lot of work but
keeps his emotions to himself. He is now thinking about retiring.

(00:23):
My mother is the total opposite of him. She has
consistently maintained the house and upheld the traditional ideals she
was taught growing up. My parents are both from traditional
religious families. They are my parents, and I love them,
but I've always felt that I didn't live up to
their standards. The fact that they appear to view me
as the family's disappointment hurts. In contrast, my older brother

(00:44):
is the family's golden boy. At forty, he settled down
and married a calm, reticent woman. Their two sons have
a strong interest in sports, particularly rough and tumble sports.
To put it mildly, they're a pain. My brother appears
to feel it is his duty to guide me life.
He works as a car salesperson at a local dealership.
His mentorship, however, feels more like him treating me like

(01:07):
a project he can't manage, as if I'm always in
need of assistance and should be appreciative of any time
he spends with me. He presents a picture of a
wonderful existence, talking about his athletic children, his powerboat, and
his ATVs, but his council frequently comes off as boasting
about his big house, fancy cars, and his so called
trophy wife. I feel even more alone as a result

(01:28):
of this. I was the sensitive child at school who
frequently broke down in tears and appeared to always find
an excuse for why things didn't go as planned. I
wasn't a strong, tough child or athletic. As an alternative,
I was made fun of and kept out of most activities.
Having asthma made me feel even more alienated. The worst thing.
Asthma is not considered a significant medical problem by my parents. Furthermore,

(01:51):
I have battled depression for as long as I can remember.
I was never the kind of child who could run
down a field or throw a football straight. My parents
freequently made remarks about how I wasn't as intelligent or
gregarious as my older brother, and frequently made comparisons between us.
School was challenging. I had a poor two point five
GPA when I graduated from high school. After saving up

(02:12):
some cash, I enrolled in college, but I left in
my second year. A family controversy resulted from such choice.
In a sense, my younger sister was the princess of
the family. I don't know much about her because I
left when she was a teenager. The main reason I
feel this way about her is because I have seen
her as an adult. She is not a horrible person
and is merely a little over indulged, but maybe because

(02:34):
it's simpler than being the target herself. She frequently treats
me the same way my parents and brother do. She
had a beautiful wedding, was married when she was nineteen,
and has three kids. Now I can best identify with
her middle child. I guess I see a little of
myself in her because she's also the middle child. She
gets mocked a lot, and maybe because her problems are
similar to mine, I feel like I know her better.

(02:56):
After I graduated from college, I really began to embrace
my shy, nerdy side before it closed more than seven
years ago, I worked at a comic book and video
game store in my community, which I really enjoyed. Even
though I have moved on, my parents still behave as
though I work there. The best part of my position
at the store was getting to know another geek with
huge ambitions. We co founded a successful IT support business together.

(03:20):
My business partner ultimately made the decision to sell our
company to a bigger corporation. I was bought out with
cash and stock options as part of the deal, and
it worked out rather well. I started a few side
projects and made a number of wise investments, several of
which were quite profitable. I try not to brag, but
I have more than one million dollars in assets. I
currently work for a brand new private start up as

(03:41):
its CTO. Even though I'm wealthy, I live a humble life.
All of the furnishings in my comfortable two bedroom house
in a fantastic area is used, and I drive a
fifteen year old Saturn. Right now, I'm not in a relationship.
I have a hectic life and see my therapist on
a regular basis. Like my melancholy and asthma, I deal
with drinking, which is difficult because my parents don't take

(04:03):
it seriously. They believe it to be wholly mental, even
if it's not what other people anticipate or comprehend. I've
been able to carve out a prosperous career for myself
in spite of the ups and downs. My parents expect
me to join them for supper every Sunday night. They
live on the opposite side of the state, so the
travel is not quick. It takes ninety to one hundred
twenty minutes each way, which eats up over half of

(04:24):
my weekend. They still seem to think that as an
unmarried individual and what my brother likes to refer to
as a mental case, I have nothing better to do.
These meals are frequently difficult. I get unsolicited advice on
how to marry, establish a family, and be a proper
adult for three hours, or I sit through lengthy conversation
about my brother's most recent huge sale at the car dealership,

(04:46):
which is the buzz of the table. Although they have
never called me a mooch directly, the implication is there.
If I skip one of these dinners, it is both
frustrating and perplexing. I frequently question why I still go
to these events when I talk to my therapist. My
family has a tendency to downplay or misrepresent all of
my accomplishments. People back home still think I work at
the long gone game store. My brother was seen as

(05:09):
more mature and gregarious than I was, and he had
a successful profession. As a result, I was continuously made
fun of for my prior retail experience. I found it
challenging to communicate to my family back home the truth
about my life and my achievements. Because of this disparity,
games and comics were sometimes written off as immature entertainment.
Despite my genuine expertise in technology, my attempts to discuss

(05:31):
it were typically overshadowed. My brother would interrupt me and
pretend as if I didn't know anything, even though I
knew he was babbling. I typically just listened to him.
I was scared to correct him, since I would have
to explain my work and defend my knowledge. I secretly
scared that they wouldn't value my career and that it
would alter their opinion of me. I'll confess that I've
had difficulties and occasionally been a complete mess. However, everything

(05:54):
changed last month. My brother managed to get his hands
on some of my personal information. The truth is that
he employed a private investigator to carry out what he
said was a background check on my employment. I had
a sneaking suspicion that he was organizing an intervention with
my folks. They were totally unprepared for what they discovered.
They learned my actual value as a person, that I

(06:14):
didn't live in a run down flat, and other private information.
Since I work in security, this was very ironic. After
making the connections, I was even able to track out
the source of the hack by receiving notifications about unauthorized
efforts to get my credit report. Everything became clear after
this revelation, and I now have to deal with my
family's abrupt and unanticipated change in how they view me.

(06:36):
It's a lot to take in, particularly in light of
our relationship's history of miscommunication and undervaluation. I chose to
have the same private detective firm look into my brother's
money since I was so upset over the breach of
my privacy. My brother was actually living well beyond his means.
A file with Child Protective Services, several previous arrests for
DWI and public intoxication and domestic disturbance calls were also discovered.

(06:59):
Throughout the investigation, he was having trouble making his scheduled
back payments to the IRS and managing three mortgage loans
on his house, despite the fact that there were currently
no ongoing charges. His credit was a total mess. In contrast,
my parents had little more than what I already knew,
and lived modest lifestyles. When it came to money, they
were realistic and pragmatic. I was so concentrated on getting

(07:21):
ready to confront my family at the next meal, hoping
it would cause a rift, that I didn't even care
to see how my sister was doing. But the dinner's
atmosphere was completely different from what I had imagined. My
parents started to treat me with a strange sort of veneration,
as if I were the golden child. This adjustment obviously
distressed my brother. He lost his anger. Midway through dinner.

(07:42):
In an attempt to restore his reputation, he began boasting
about recent sales commissions and a purported promotion. I just
gave him my congratulations and mentioned his debt, IRS problems
and stretched credit condition in a tactful manner. In other words,
I called attention to my brother's financial disaster while simultaneously
celebrating his own accomplishments. The whole thing was oddly gloomy.

(08:03):
The already challenging family dynamic was made even more awkward
by my parents sudden change in behavior toward me, which
appeared forced and artificial. At first. My brother disputed everything
when I handed him a copy of the report, but
I pointed out that by utilizing the agency to look
into me, he had inadvertently suggested it. As I have
to say, that felt good for a little while. My parents,

(08:24):
who reprimanded him and responded with dramatic shock, were obviously
aware of it as well. The whole thing became very
unsettling because the report needed my Social Security number. It
was not a pleasant revelation or the ensuing argument. As
it revealed my family's avarice and cowardice, my disdain for
them grew. They started accusing one another of a variety
of things. Throughout the course of the following hour. I

(08:46):
made every effort to keep quiet, but sometimes they became
I rate with me. I would either shrug or respond
with a nonchalant, one word comment. When that occurred. My
sister's husband, my brother's wife and their five kids looked
on in shock as I our family disintegrated like never before.
Our meetings were typically routine and uninteresting. My sister would
give updates whenever she could, My brother and his wife

(09:08):
would boast about their lives, my mom would strike up
a conversation, and my dad would complain in response. This
collapse had never occurred during one of our family dinners.
It was a tumultuous meal, to say the least, as
long simmering, deeply ingrained issues exploded into the open. The
customary subtle jabs about how I should look up to
my brother and be a real man were replaced by

(09:29):
astonished quiet. I got into a heated disagreement with my dad, brother,
and myself. They dug up every relic of family strife
from the previous thirty years and argued over who was
responsible for everything. It was like watching an unruly drama
play out in real time. All of my negative thoughts
about my family seemed to be validated during such instances.
In all honesty, I felt terrible, even though you might

(09:52):
have expected me to feel some sort of justice or triumph.
I became aware of my poor handling of the situation.
Although I was well aware of these laws, What had
I meant to accomplish by making my brother's wrongdoings public?
His children now know about his tumultuous history, which I
had not wanted them to. When my brother yelled at
me in a fit of wrath, the situation reached a
breaking point. His harsh statements such as you should have

(10:15):
never been born were stunning, But what really stuck out
was my parents desperate attempts to calm him down, a
degree of desperation I had never witnessed before. He accused
me of being the cause of all the family's problems.
They made an effort to intervene, but they never really
admitted or accepted responsibility for the way they had treated
me throughout the years. I was both very saddened and vindicated.

(10:37):
It served as a harsh and obvious reminder of the
underlying problems in our family's dynamics. My parents accused me
of something else until I could take it no more.
They implied that I could have helped but decided not to,
claiming that I was refusing to help a sick niece
or nephew. I had no knowledge of such a circumstance.
No one had ever told me about this issue or
reached out to me for help. I suspected they were

(10:58):
making things up as they went along, but I didn't
challenge it. I thought you believed I was still working
at the comic book shop. I reminded them instead. They
never seemed to understand that the store had closed in
twenty eleven, even though I had reminded them several times.
The way they had misrepresented our family history to fit
their storyline appalled me. I drove home after feeling overburdened

(11:19):
and annoyed. I'm feeling conflicted right now. Knowing that they
would probably put pressure on me to repay them now
that they are aware of my money makes me feel deceived.
I know what's coming because I've witnessed how they treated
my brother in a similar manner. However, I also recognize
and value the fact that my parents provided for my
basic needs as a child, including clothing, food, and housing.

(11:40):
It will be difficult to navigate this labyrinth of thankfulness, bitterness,
and freshly set boundaries. I'll probably need my therapist's assistance
to process this change in dynamics. It's obvious that establishing
clear limits going forward will be essential. Growing up was
challenging because, to be honest, I was never the favorite
child in my family. My brother mistreated me, but my

(12:00):
parents did little to stop it. Even though they never
physically beat me. My parents responded as though nothing was wrong.
Whether he kicked, hit, or said extremely terrible things, they
completely disregarded it. It is really concerning that they do
not consider verbal abuse to be damaging or real. Verbal
abuse is terrible in and of itself, but it is
even more painful when the people who are there to

(12:20):
protect you choose to ignore it. I've had enough of
fighting this for years. Even though I am aware that
they are my family, I feel the need to keep
a permanent distance. Although I wish them well, I think
it will be better for me to go on and
begin a new chapter without them. If I discover someone amazing,
like a girlfriend, and we decide to be married and
have kids, what will happen then? How will I deal

(12:42):
with these problems with my family? It may get rather complicated,
so I'm attempting to figure it out. How can I
introduce my new family to my family if I'm not
talking to them anymore. I have a lot of questions
about what lies ahead prior to reading the update. Allow
me to give you some advice. Your family didn't appreciate
you as a person, and if they merely wanted you
around to boost their self esteem, they want you around

(13:04):
to take advantage of your wealth now that they are
aware of your financial achievement. You are not defined by
your family, according to everything you've said, They not you
are the issue. You come across as a good hearted,
diligent individual who endured harsh treatment in your family circumstances.
Put your phone away and carry on with your life.
You've done a great job creating your own life. Reduce

(13:26):
the amount of time you spend with your family as
much as you like. They only want your money, and
you know it. As a result, you can communicate with
them however you see fit. Stay in touch with your
therapist to help you move into a life where they
don't hold you back. Steer clear of pointless conversations, if
at all possible, think about relocating to a new place,
packing up your things and starting over. You are not

(13:48):
alone if you have to make tough choices, because many
people struggle with their families when it comes to dating.
Explaining these dynamics to a potential spouse might be challenging,
particularly if they have tight family ties, but you will
star art your own family when the time is right.
Actions to take going ahead if you haven't done, put
a security freeze on your credit accounts. If your brother

(14:08):
used dealership resources to collect information about you, let the
appropriate parties know. The dealership is unlikely to be amenable
to being implicated if his activities involved fraud, speak with
an attorney. Despite your youth, mishaps do occur. Your parents
would currently inherit your assets as your default next of kin.
Put it in writing as soon as you can. If
you would rather have someone else be the beneficiary, locate

(14:31):
a trustworthy counselor you may feel sad about being apart
from your family in the upcoming months. Speaking with an
expert will assist you in processing this update. Following the
family dinner argument, it was like leaving a battle zone.
When I got home, I flew across the quiet, night
time road with nothing but my thoughts. I knew that
something needed to change as soon as I pulled into

(14:51):
my driveway. If I didn't want to go insane, I
had to quit throwing family dinners. I concentrated on my
work and mental well being during the course of the
following two weeks. Not only were the gadgets and comic
books strewn over my home visually appealing, but they served
as a sanctuary for me. In order to figure out
how to separate from my family without totally alienating them,
I stepped up my therapy appointments during this period. My therapist,

(15:15):
Doctor Bennett, was really helpful. He used methods that felt
more like building a fort than a wall to help
me set boundaries. My mind started to go toward the future,
more especially relationships. As the weeks went by and the
temperature rose, I began to think that meeting someone amazing
was not just possible but likely after spending time by
myself and without a partner. Then, like something from a

(15:36):
comic book, Ava showed up. Ava and I met at
a technology conference. Her cybersecurity talk captivated me, not just
because of the topic, but also because of her charisma.
She was smart and grounded, understood me, and had a
love centered view of families that was restrained by firm boundaries.
As Eva's situation worsened, the unsaid problem was how to
introduce her to my family's circus. We discussed how to

(15:58):
deal with it. Over numerous peace to eating evenings, we
made the decision to have short, visible and casual family
get togethers. Everything changed when Eva even offered to help me.
Our initial interactions were straightforward coffee dates. I reintroduced myself
to family gatherings while Ava was around. Naturally, the first
few times were really uncomfortable. My parents were too polite

(16:19):
and wary, as though I may vanish at any moment.
In contrast, my brother looked to be attempting to express
a lot but was having trouble finding the perfect words.
But my sister and her kids were a pleasant diversion.
My sister's middle child, who looked a lot like me,
was instantly won over by Ava. We became accustomed to
these coffee dates, which were like short forays into family territory,

(16:41):
a brief coming and going. I was able to reconnect
without becoming entangled in the chaos. Thanks to this strategy, Unexpectedly,
it started to function. My family adjusted to the arrangement
over time. Maybe they understood that this was the only
way they could continue to have me in their life.
They began to be mindful of my limits. As things
got better, I started to consider the long term more,

(17:03):
what might the future hold for us? Together with Ava,
I envisioned building a solid family foundation based on respect
and caring for one another rather than obligation and guilt.
I knew there would be difficulties, of course, Ava and
I talked about the prospect of living together. One summer evening,
when we were walking by the lake. I was struck
by how far I had come from feeling abandoned by

(17:23):
my family to being able to stand on my own
with a better sense of who I was. It seemed
like day and night. I have a cautious sense of
optimism for the future. I feel prepared, even though I
know the road ahead may be rough, with possible potholes
the size of craters. Setting limits with my family after
Eva was more than simply a matter of protecting myself.
It was about making room for new connections and a

(17:45):
fulfilling future for myself. The infamous Sunday meals are still planned,
but they now take place according to my preferences. I
go occasionally and don't go other times. I bring Ava
along to family dinners and we discuss any issues that arise.
Even though there has been a lot of improvement, there
are still issues. The secret is finding that balance, keeping
things harmonious without becoming overpowered. Hi, everyone, I'm still learning

(18:09):
how to share stuff online, so please be patient with me.
I want to tell you everything that's going on in
my life at the moment. Let's start by introducing the
main characters. I am the storyteller, Peach is our daughter,
Mario is our son, and Daisy is my soon to
be ex wife. We are currently going through a challenging
separation that is quickly turning into a very acrimonious divorce.

(18:31):
The main reason Daisy and I are divorcing is that
she accepted her bisexuality earlier this year. She expressed her
desire for our marriage to be open to me directly.
I was not at all comfortable with that notion. When
I learned that Daisy had slept with my coworker, who
is also one of my closest friends, the situation got
even worse. That must have been terrible and awkward. It

(18:52):
seemed like a betrayal from both my household and my
place of employment as a police officer. We were unable
to stay together after that. I took a break to
think things out. Daisy did everything she could to keep
us together. At first, But when it became apparent that
I was adamant about not opening our marriage despite her
reasons and entreaties, things took a nasty turn. Daisy's perspective

(19:12):
had changed, She became bitter, and the last thing I
wanted was for her to start playing pawns with our kids.
Daisy started telling Peach that she had to leave our
home because I no longer loved them. I detested them,
she said, and I was destroying our family. It was
heartbreaking to hear that, especially in light of Peach's obvious
confusion and grief. Our kids frequently visit Daisy's mother's home,

(19:33):
where she currently resides. Daisy and her new friend attempt
to make these visits seem like a huge, thrilling vacation,
presumably in an attempt to play the cool parents and
turn Peach and Mario against me. They lavished them with
toys and candy. In addition to our mental struggle, Daisy
and I disagree on nearly everything. This involves deciding who
should inherit, what belongings, and how much money one of

(19:54):
us should contribute to support the other. The hardest part, though,
choosing how to split up Mario and Peach time, Daisy
fights back against every compromise we try to reach. She
seems to be making things more difficult for herself. Daisy
has been telling our kids things lately that make me
the bad guy, which is unjust. For example, Peach and
Mario have been asking me whether I don't like Daisy's

(20:15):
new friend AP. Let's call them AP. Seems to adore
them more than I do. For whatever reason, such talk
is a major disturbance to their minds. I was working
on a big project at work a few weeks ago.
I was working much more over time in my pursuit
of a promotion from police officer to homicide investigator. Daisy
and I agreed that the kids would spend this busy

(20:36):
time with her and come see me on the weekends.
I would stop by when it was time for them
to go for Daisy's Mario exclaimed, tears in his eyes.
Are you taking us away? Because you hate us? Like
your mother? Says? As I handed him his luggage, a
big one I had packed for him. The moment was heartbreaking.
I hugged him tightly and assured him that I truly
loved him, even though it wasn't true. It was strange.

(20:58):
Despite my best efforts to visit at them last weekend,
it was really challenging. It hurt a lot that they
didn't say much to me. They didn't seem to want
to see me at all. It wasn't until today that
I had another opportunity to talk to them. They both
looked very sad as I lifted them up. I could
now talk to them. As I picked them up, it
was clear that Peach is having difficulties even while she

(21:19):
still shows her love for me. Daisy seems to be
making it harder for her to do so. Given how
difficult the situation is, I'm attempting to decide on the
best course of action to reduce the harm to the kids.
This kind of twisting of family dynamics can be extremely challenging.
Peach is having a lot of trouble because she believes
she is incapable of loving me. I can no longer
watch helplessly as my princess endure's pain. Since this divorce

(21:43):
is purposefully harming them, I'm beginning to have my doubts.
Do I need to take the divorce further? Is it
possible to proceed while keeping my kids safe? Or should
I just stay and accept it. Now for the comment,
You need to tell your divorce attorney about all of
this right away. Parental alienation is what this is. A
judge will definitely order it to halt, but it will

(22:03):
probably be hard to enforce. You have to get started
on this right away and keep going. Daisy is acting
in a way that is really damaging. Make sure you
pursue the divorce and keep all the paperwork. It will
only become worse if you stay. This is known as
parental alienation, and it played a significant role in my
friend's child custody victory because his ex wife was acting
in a similar manner. Engage a lawyer as soon as

(22:25):
possible and record Daisy's actions. Seek the children's medical attention.
This is a very bad position for them. Your kids
shouldn't be left with her unattended. Tell your lawyer what
she did. Inform CPS about her treatment of the kids
if necessary. Never again let her actions go unchecked. For
the sake of your kids. Thank you for watching. If
you haven't subscribed yet, please do so and hit the

(22:48):
notification bell to stay updated with more shocking real life
stories happening around you.