May 21, 2024 • 30 mins
Please enjoy Dinner With Edna a great episode of the legendaryAvalon Time radio show - A Classic Old Time radio Show - OTR
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:08):
A pack of Avalon cigarettes. Please, yes, sir, just a mom,
sir, don't forget to change.You'd never guessed, but Avalons cost
you less. Good evening, friends, Good evening, This Isdell King saying
(00:36):
welcome to Avalon time with Kurt MatthewEdna Stillwell, Jeanette, the Avalon Chorus,
Bob Strong and his orchestra, andRadio's Redheaded Rag him up and Richard
red Skelton. Ladies and gentlemen,do you know what one thing makes Avalons
(01:17):
entirely different from any other cigarette onthe market? Do you know why Avalons
stand in the class by themselves?Simply one reason. Avalons are quality cigarettes
that sell for three to five centsless per fact than other popular price brands.
Three to five cents less, mindyou, a repeated saving that will
net you many many extra dollars invery short orders. And certainly you can
(01:41):
use a few extra dollars now andthen. But bear this in mine,
friends, without knowing, you'd neverguess, Avalons cost you less. Their
union made from a perfect blend ofthe finest Turkish and domestic tobaccos that money
can buy. In fact, youcouldn't get finer quality tobaccos in any others
garettes regardless of price. Regardless ofprice, Truly, friends, avalons offer
(02:07):
you advantages, money saving advantages thatyou'll certainly want to take advantage of.
Why not try a pack of Avalonstonight. And now for our first flash
(02:39):
in the Fountain of uselessness, webring you headline hocum as compounded cold cornered
pokes and contacted from current questions bythe querleus pixotic quinduct Red Skelton. Thank
you very much, what nu?Thank you Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
(03:02):
And now for the gossips news fromcoast to coast Washington, d C.
A famous educator said that children shouldbe taught more about birds and bees.
I agree with them. I thinkthat the mother should tell the kids
about the bees. My mother toldme about the bee, and when I
went into Vaudeville, I found outabout the birds. Building bombs in the
(03:24):
United States seemed like everybody's building anew house in the back. I guess,
build a little place out in thesuburbs. The suburbs, that's French.
For a long bus rides. Ibuild a very modern home, though
in fact it's so moderate we evenhave a playroom for the termite. Chicago,
Illinois experts say that women are betterdrivers than men. They should be.
(03:46):
They don't have to look at thosehats. But you know, women
are getting to be better drivers.The other day I saw a woman hold
out her hand to make a leftturn, and so help me, she
actually turned left. Three cops droppedthat. I sentator ripley. He sent
it back because I don't believe it. The price of food going up,
(04:09):
you know that's really a fact.The other day I bought a tea bone
steak. It cost me at fiftycents. For another dollar, I gotta
have meat on it. Atlantic City, New Jersey. A well known group
of child psychologists decides that if achild is naughty at the dining room table,
do not spank him on an emptystomach, I mean, on a
(04:30):
full stomach, Rather turn them over. Washington, DC, the President of
the United States called spacial session ofCongress. One senator was hurrying to Washington
got indignant because the pullman porter didn'thave his birth ready. The porter says,
how was I to know? Ithought senators made their own bunks.
(04:53):
News in the world of sports,Chicago Cubs wins four straight games. That's
a miss print if I ever sawone. Philadelphia Tony wins the heavyweight battle
from Lou Nova. Last night,after the fight, Tony Glinda was walking
up market seet in Philadelphia tavern.One keg mets the other keg and here's
(05:14):
the one with legs I was tellingyou about. That does about takes care
of the news for the night.So I'll step aside. Let Jeannette pour
her heart into a song. Singit pretty, Jeannette, but pretty Hi
(05:47):
pod my heart, And when youremember from you won't be hearing just the
words and tune of a song.You will be lit me to my heart.
(06:18):
I put my heart into a song, and I'm afraid the whit that
you are off the small. Icouldn't think of cleverest things to say in
(06:38):
my hot I had to say withmy horn, if it never played on
the hip, pray it will stillcontain a heart that is beating. True
(07:05):
if it's not a heat, Iwant mind to beat long as it conveys.
The love that I see is myheart wrapped in a soul. And
(07:30):
if you seems don't sell my soulhow or if you do, you won't
be just destroying soul. You willbe turr. And now, ladies and
(08:03):
judgmhen we come to our slice oflife, a short playlet about things that
happen in everyday life, things thatyou're doing that I do, in fact,
everybody does. What's this one abouttonight, brad Well, it's about
a young fellow that's in love andhe's going to call on his girl.
She's fixing dinner things and it's theirfirst final load. You set the scene
there. I heard the place somewherein your hometown. The time seven o'clock.
(08:26):
The girl edna stillwell, the boyread skeleton the dinner. Hey.
The girl is at her house fixing. The boy is at his house drooling.
The scene opens at her house.Now, brother, you get out
(08:46):
here. Richard's coming over, andI think he's gonna ask me to marry
him. You mean that goon witha haunted look where that I should get
married? He's the most married lookingsingle man I ever saw. They say
it, Yes, what is it? Thanks? The wrong answer to a
maiden's prayer is here? Well,lady man, I'm putting supper on the
(09:07):
table. Okay, Oh oh yeah, sweetheart, Oh pardon yeah, I
thought you were Edna. Now,I always looked this way after I take
a hot bag. Look Edna said, we were going to be here alone.
Are you going to eat with us? No? I don't think so.
I'll be right out lard. Okay, honey, Well, Roger,
(09:28):
you better be going now. You'llbe late for your scout meeting. There
ain't no scout geting, ain't noscout meeting tonight. Besides, I put
the boy scout last week. What'smattered my knees got cold? Anyway,
I think I'll stick around. Mysister's a nice girl, and I don't
like that glincher trying to get inyour eye. Come on, take a
(09:52):
walk or something. Gee, youknow how it is. Here's a time
a time hey, listen. Theprice is one dollar to everybody. What's
the idea used to scram when Igive you a dime? What's the extra
ninety cents for? I just heardabout the amusement. Yeah, oh,
here's a dime, take it orleave it. I listened, I need
(10:13):
a buck. And by the way, who is that girl you were talking
to yesterday? Oh well it wasn'tanybody in particulars. This show would be
sore if she found out about that. She should you wouldn't dead. You
know you're a regular trouble maker,you are, she you make anything out
(10:33):
of nothing. All I did wasask the girl what time it was,
and you must be off laps inminded. I saw you write it down.
Okay, here's your buck and I'llbeat it or I get you a
fuff in my head, son,fell I hope you enjoy your tenner.
Hey, whatever happens, keep yourchin up. Why we just put on
a clean tablecloth that so long says, I'm going down to the drug store
(10:56):
all right, but remember no gambling. Oh hello, dear, are you
hungry a little bit? Gee?How are you? She in a wonderful
alone at last? Does you meand my appetizing Oh, betchard, you're
so romantic? I hope you likeit here. I want you to act
just like you at home. Youmean, I can't smoke stealthy still?
(11:18):
And now I take off your coatand let's see. All right, but
we have a tough time trying todigest those buttons. Oh, you're always
making joke sort of. Now,come on, I hope you like my
dimmer. I'm not a very goodcook, though, I'll bet you're a
(11:39):
good No, not very here takesthe coffee and sleep. It's all like,
okay, is the coffee good?Just a little chili? Hey,
what kind of supers in? That'schicken chicken chicken walk? It was still
so here on my discuss. Youtake them over yourself, yes, but
(12:03):
of course brother had to help melift him off the stove. I think
I'll probably one. Gee, whois your brother? Charles? Say?
What are those things over there?Just stop peppers? Well, stock peppers,
you know, meatballs and solitary confinement. I'll bet you're not enjoying your
(12:24):
dinner. You've stopped eating. Yeah, I gotta get my breath once in
a while. Besides, there's somethingI want to ask you, if you
don't mind. Yes, well,i've known you for about two years and
as you know, and as youknow, why, Well, there's a
woman in the back of every man'ssuccess, except if she's a fan dancer.
(12:45):
And well look a ring, allan engagement ring. Yeah, on
a clear day you can see thediamonds. It's beautiful. Yes, but
do you think you can support afamily boy? I guess so. How
many he's in your family? Oh? Gee, it's starting to rain.
(13:07):
Oh gee? What am I gonnado? I catch cold every time I
get wet. Every time I getwet, I get an ammonia. Every
time I get an ammonia. Istopped off at a few minutes. And
besides, you just supposed to me. I know, of course, I've
had a lot of chances to getmarried, but I figure, why take
chances? Why? Only yesterday Iwas asked to get married, and I
(13:28):
said I would. Oh, gee, who asked you? My mother and
father? Oh, I guess I'lljust have to give up. You mean,
wait, you'll marry me? Certainlysilly. I've been waiting for you
to ask me for a whole year. Well, I didn't get over my
water underneath till yesterday. Oh gee, this is wonderful. We get married
tomorrow. H Look, I'll gohome and then I'll pick you up early.
(13:50):
Huh g. It's raining awful,heart off, Oh isn't it.
Well, we have a fair room, if you don't mind sleeping in the
attic. Oh, I wouldn't mindthe attic. I spent some of the
happy years of my life in theattic. Well, I wouldn't want you
to get inneumonia. No, Idon't look so good in an oxygen tent.
Well, it is kind of raining, kind of hard. I hope
I won't be putting you out,Oh not at all. I'll go right
(14:11):
up and fix it. You waithere, I'll be back all right.
Oh boy, and want to stealgeez. I just happened to remember something.
Come in, sure, look atyou where you're all wet? Where'd
(14:33):
you fan in the vein? Well? You said I could stay here all
night, So I went home aftermy pajama pot over road Beal Street Blues
really had something. And we thinkthat we've really got something here. And
Bob's Strong's arrangement of it. Heavenfor bal Street, Bob, the ladies
(17:18):
and gentlemen. I asked a plumberwho was working at my house if he
ever smoked Avalon cigarettes, and hesaid, sure, brother, I smoke
Avalons. They save me plenty ofdough. They plugged up the leak that
was drained in my pocketbook. Youknow, when I go on a job,
maybe I forget my tools, see, but I never forget my avalons.
(17:38):
Yes, friends, millions upon millionsof people from coast to coast know
that they've really found something in Avalons, a cigarette that positively cannot be surpassed
in quality, but costs three tofive cents left for pack than other popular
price brands. You certainly want togive Avalon cigarettes a trials made from extra
(18:00):
select Turkish and domestic tobaccos masterfully blendedto give you a smoke that wins the
highest praise from those people who arehardest to please. Now, judging by
the quality, you'd never guess Avalonscost you less three to five cents less
per pack, a saving that willmean many many extra dollars to you.
(18:22):
So the next time you need cigarettes, remember Avalons give you exceptional quality,
outstanding money saving economy. Buy apack of Avalons tonight. The grand boys
of kurt Nassy, backed up bythe intriguing harmonies of the Avalon call it
(18:47):
in one of the sweeter melodies ofthe day. If I had my way,
if I hadn't my waded forever,the god an umbroses for you and
(19:11):
for me, the one thing derive, just for you, just for you.
(19:33):
If and my way wing would nevergrow, and one shoe and bring
every day you would rain all alonelike a queen a frol my with you
(20:38):
would red like a queen on ourfloor with my with and now we come
(21:23):
to the third movement in our scripts. He is a send out Skelton service.
Now if anybody wants a day off, they send for Skelton. This
week it's a golf prow who's takinga day off while our juvenile jug head
takes his place. We pick upEdna, Stillwell and Red as they approach
the not Shore golf course. Howdo you think her car runs? I've
(21:44):
often wondered, you ought to puttwo handles on this thing and call it
a wheelbarrow. Well, here weare at the club, not flowing your
horn extra break, Well, grabyour clubs, dub and get ready to
give some golf lessons. Oh lookslike rain. Hell, I'll have to
get a caddy and carry these things. Oh here come to caddy now,
(22:07):
well are you a caddy? Well, I ain't a carpetbagger. Psyche les
a golf club tot. Oh goodness, yes, that's the scounting. I'm
just a past your pool porter.And to these scamp make me tramp.
I get the hardest job. It'sall good experience, But in my case,
experience is the greatest archer. I'llkeep it up by you'll get there
(22:33):
Oh, sometimes I wonder. Ikeep my nose to the grindstone, my
air to the ground, my eyeon the ball, my shoulder to the
wheel, and hold my future inmy hands and Heaven's above. If opportunity
ever knocks on the door, I'llbe too busy to answer it. I'm
here to take a golf pros placetoday. You know, Are you surprised
(22:57):
thinking the golf pros place? Oh? I certainly am. But I knew
it was you, mister Skelton,just as soon as I saw this car
drive in here and stop with ajerk. My first sucker, I mean,
pupil is a guy with the nameof Philthy Lucer. Filthy Lucer.
(23:19):
Why he's that millionaire eccentric, aneccentriccay Well, they call him eke centric,
but if he didn't have ten milliondollars, he'd just be a screwball.
And believe me, he belongs inan eccentric asylum. Do you know
what he goes around this course inthe low eighties? No, he's low
ONDI anyway, missus Skelta, okay, her gee, boy, that shower
(23:45):
is coming up there. Well,I guess I'll take a few practice through
his swing watching it. Nor ismy form? Your fun looks like two
sticks knucking a potato. My goform Norse. My bat swing hits your
swing, I mean the club andI'm just taking my stands now. Oh
well, go around a little bitthe way you wigod Loo's as if you
(24:08):
had ants in your stands. Oh, here comes my pupils. Hey,
that guy looks two years older thanMcPherson's family's golf balls. Well here he
is, mister scout, mister feltylooker. Oh, how do you do?
Mister luker? Quiet, quiet,I'm putting okay, but you haven't
he started to play yet. I'mputting this cigar in my mouth. Ohever's
(24:33):
pretty good out here. Yesterday gota home run? Oh that's a home
run. Yeah, pads the ballway over there to tall grass and run
all around the course where they canfind it. Well, first, I'm
gonna teach you how to hold thebrassy. I'd ready to start beholding the
caddy. Caddy. That's not agolf club, I know what that yam's
a caddy cheek. No, that'smiss Stillwell, my secretary, how they
(24:59):
pretty eat to the package. Well, just remember you're an no opisso postman.
Well, now let's get on withhis first golf lesson here. Now,
look you take your stands, youbring your cup back like this,
and who I hit it? Imean that's pretty good, went right out
of side. Don't look now,but if you move your left foot you'll
(25:22):
kick it. Yeah, well,no wonder. I can only drive a
few feet at the time. Thisis my Sunday driver. Let me drive
now. Quiet, okay, lookat that thing go by and forty yards.
D oh, look at things rollingright up the cup about two inches
(25:45):
from going in the hole. Chefsmissed it again. Well let's go.
Uh uh, it's start in therain. Let's run for the club house.
Are going? What are you alittle afraid of a little rain?
It's gonna hurt you a little rain. It ran pitchforks and hammer handled.
(26:06):
Oh stop exaggerating. Oh what hitme on the head a hammer handle.
I'm getting out of here. Okay, go ahead, come on, we'll
play this course rain or no rain. Sixteen holes in this storm over my
(26:27):
bull head. Seven strokes already,boy, what a lie you're telling me?
Yeah? Okay, okay, ninestrokes. Say how many shots did
you think getting out of that sandtraf. Eight shots, four with machine and
four shots right yeah shoo, Ohgoodness, heavens, I've catched it by
(26:48):
death of cold cold eh. Wouldyou like to snart ton? Oh?
Well, I guess a good snarkwouldn't hurt me. All right, here's
a handkerchief, quiet fat while theyhit the ball, I have said,
quiet, Oh, that's a thunder. I think I'm on the green.
(27:11):
I'm gonna run on up and hitthere, say herky. This guy's kind
of tight and he oh heavens,they say when he pays off, he
never pays off with anything but fiftydollars bill. Well, there's only one
drawback. What's that? He neverpays off? But I'm gonna settle this
right now. Hey, mister luker, Yes, I'd like to talk to
you just a minute. I chargedten dollars a lesson, and it's uh
pay as you play. Yeah,well, don't forget. I'm playing very
(27:34):
poorly. Oh my stars, Lookwhere the balls are? A dead stimy,
drag the thing away and bury it. Holy look at this golf course.
It's flooded. Play. You can'tsee anything but this green. Say
tomorrow they'll be looking for the missinglinks. Hey, the water's coming up
higher and the fire. Oh,I'll say that water as well. We'll
(27:55):
be drowned like rafts and a sam. No, wait a minute, I
got an idea. I know howI can say, here, take your
putter, now, put fut fufu fut but but but but but but
but bye. Okay, gang,I'll just step for this outboard mortar book.
We'll put put put right out ofhere. Well, thell that finishes
(28:44):
another one. It's about time forus to make way for the NBC.
Good chime, Charlie, Yes,Red, and don't forget the next week
we're going to broadcast from the AuditoriumTheater here in Chicago, and for special
guests, we're going to have aboutthree thousand, five hundred delegates to the
American Leaguing Convention. Oh boy,you know, I had a warm spot
for the legionnaires. I guess it'sbecause my uncle was a doe boy.
He was read. Yeah, hewas a cook in the army. You
(29:06):
know, he was wounded twice.Was a good thing the war ended when
it did, as those fellows hewas cooking for when he killed him.
Well, good night, everybody willsee you next week. Remember friends during
the week when you asked for Avaloncigarette, don't forget your change. Avon.
(29:38):
Yes, you'd never guess, butAvalon's costumely ten cents plus city or
states text be with us next Saturdayevening at the same time when the Brown
and William and Tobacco Corporation will againpresent Avalon time Nolle King's picking. Good
night. This is a nice lie. Broadcasting domin oh W E A F
(30:17):
New York nine p M b UL O V A bull of a watch
time Bullivar, masterpiece of fine watchmaking. Well o V a bull of a
watch time Bullivar, masterpiece of finewatchmaking.
A pack of Avalon cigarettes. Please, yes, sir, just a mom,
sir, don't forget to change.You'd never guessed, but Avalons cost
you less. Good evening, friends, Good evening, This Isdell King saying
(00:36):
welcome to Avalon time with Kurt MatthewEdna Stillwell, Jeanette, the Avalon Chorus,
Bob Strong and his orchestra, andRadio's Redheaded Rag him up and Richard
red Skelton. Ladies and gentlemen,do you know what one thing makes Avalons
(01:17):
entirely different from any other cigarette onthe market? Do you know why Avalons
stand in the class by themselves?Simply one reason. Avalons are quality cigarettes
that sell for three to five centsless per fact than other popular price brands.
Three to five cents less, mindyou, a repeated saving that will
net you many many extra dollars invery short orders. And certainly you can
(01:41):
use a few extra dollars now andthen. But bear this in mine,
friends, without knowing, you'd neverguess, Avalons cost you less. Their
union made from a perfect blend ofthe finest Turkish and domestic tobaccos that money
can buy. In fact, youcouldn't get finer quality tobaccos in any others
garettes regardless of price. Regardless ofprice, Truly, friends, avalons offer
(02:07):
you advantages, money saving advantages thatyou'll certainly want to take advantage of.
Why not try a pack of Avalonstonight. And now for our first flash
(02:39):
in the Fountain of uselessness, webring you headline hocum as compounded cold cornered
pokes and contacted from current questions bythe querleus pixotic quinduct Red Skelton. Thank
you very much, what nu?Thank you Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
(03:02):
And now for the gossips news fromcoast to coast Washington, d C.
A famous educator said that children shouldbe taught more about birds and bees.
I agree with them. I thinkthat the mother should tell the kids
about the bees. My mother toldme about the bee, and when I
went into Vaudeville, I found outabout the birds. Building bombs in the
(03:24):
United States seemed like everybody's building anew house in the back. I guess,
build a little place out in thesuburbs. The suburbs, that's French.
For a long bus rides. Ibuild a very modern home, though
in fact it's so moderate we evenhave a playroom for the termite. Chicago,
Illinois experts say that women are betterdrivers than men. They should be.
(03:46):
They don't have to look at thosehats. But you know, women
are getting to be better drivers.The other day I saw a woman hold
out her hand to make a leftturn, and so help me, she
actually turned left. Three cops droppedthat. I sentator ripley. He sent
it back because I don't believe it. The price of food going up,
(04:09):
you know that's really a fact.The other day I bought a tea bone
steak. It cost me at fiftycents. For another dollar, I gotta
have meat on it. Atlantic City, New Jersey. A well known group
of child psychologists decides that if achild is naughty at the dining room table,
do not spank him on an emptystomach, I mean, on a
(04:30):
full stomach, Rather turn them over. Washington, DC, the President of
the United States called spacial session ofCongress. One senator was hurrying to Washington
got indignant because the pullman porter didn'thave his birth ready. The porter says,
how was I to know? Ithought senators made their own bunks.
(04:53):
News in the world of sports,Chicago Cubs wins four straight games. That's
a miss print if I ever sawone. Philadelphia Tony wins the heavyweight battle
from Lou Nova. Last night,after the fight, Tony Glinda was walking
up market seet in Philadelphia tavern.One keg mets the other keg and here's
(05:14):
the one with legs I was tellingyou about. That does about takes care
of the news for the night.So I'll step aside. Let Jeannette pour
her heart into a song. Singit pretty, Jeannette, but pretty Hi
(05:47):
pod my heart, And when youremember from you won't be hearing just the
words and tune of a song.You will be lit me to my heart.
(06:18):
I put my heart into a song, and I'm afraid the whit that
you are off the small. Icouldn't think of cleverest things to say in
(06:38):
my hot I had to say withmy horn, if it never played on
the hip, pray it will stillcontain a heart that is beating. True
(07:05):
if it's not a heat, Iwant mind to beat long as it conveys.
The love that I see is myheart wrapped in a soul. And
(07:30):
if you seems don't sell my soulhow or if you do, you won't
be just destroying soul. You willbe turr. And now, ladies and
(08:03):
judgmhen we come to our slice oflife, a short playlet about things that
happen in everyday life, things thatyou're doing that I do, in fact,
everybody does. What's this one abouttonight, brad Well, it's about
a young fellow that's in love andhe's going to call on his girl.
She's fixing dinner things and it's theirfirst final load. You set the scene
there. I heard the place somewherein your hometown. The time seven o'clock.
(08:26):
The girl edna stillwell, the boyread skeleton the dinner. Hey.
The girl is at her house fixing. The boy is at his house drooling.
The scene opens at her house.Now, brother, you get out
(08:46):
here. Richard's coming over, andI think he's gonna ask me to marry
him. You mean that goon witha haunted look where that I should get
married? He's the most married lookingsingle man I ever saw. They say
it, Yes, what is it? Thanks? The wrong answer to a
maiden's prayer is here? Well,lady man, I'm putting supper on the
(09:07):
table. Okay, Oh oh yeah, sweetheart, Oh pardon yeah, I
thought you were Edna. Now,I always looked this way after I take
a hot bag. Look Edna said, we were going to be here alone.
Are you going to eat with us? No? I don't think so.
I'll be right out lard. Okay, honey, Well, Roger,
(09:28):
you better be going now. You'llbe late for your scout meeting. There
ain't no scout geting, ain't noscout meeting tonight. Besides, I put
the boy scout last week. What'smattered my knees got cold? Anyway,
I think I'll stick around. Mysister's a nice girl, and I don't
like that glincher trying to get inyour eye. Come on, take a
(09:52):
walk or something. Gee, youknow how it is. Here's a time
a time hey, listen. Theprice is one dollar to everybody. What's
the idea used to scram when Igive you a dime? What's the extra
ninety cents for? I just heardabout the amusement. Yeah, oh,
here's a dime, take it orleave it. I listened, I need
(10:13):
a buck. And by the way, who is that girl you were talking
to yesterday? Oh well it wasn'tanybody in particulars. This show would be
sore if she found out about that. She should you wouldn't dead. You
know you're a regular trouble maker,you are, she you make anything out
(10:33):
of nothing. All I did wasask the girl what time it was,
and you must be off laps inminded. I saw you write it down.
Okay, here's your buck and I'llbeat it or I get you a
fuff in my head, son,fell I hope you enjoy your tenner.
Hey, whatever happens, keep yourchin up. Why we just put on
a clean tablecloth that so long says, I'm going down to the drug store
(10:56):
all right, but remember no gambling. Oh hello, dear, are you
hungry a little bit? Gee?How are you? She in a wonderful
alone at last? Does you meand my appetizing Oh, betchard, you're
so romantic? I hope you likeit here. I want you to act
just like you at home. Youmean, I can't smoke stealthy still?
(11:18):
And now I take off your coatand let's see. All right, but
we have a tough time trying todigest those buttons. Oh, you're always
making joke sort of. Now,come on, I hope you like my
dimmer. I'm not a very goodcook, though, I'll bet you're a
(11:39):
good No, not very here takesthe coffee and sleep. It's all like,
okay, is the coffee good?Just a little chili? Hey,
what kind of supers in? That'schicken chicken chicken walk? It was still
so here on my discuss. Youtake them over yourself, yes, but
(12:03):
of course brother had to help melift him off the stove. I think
I'll probably one. Gee, whois your brother? Charles? Say?
What are those things over there?Just stop peppers? Well, stock peppers,
you know, meatballs and solitary confinement. I'll bet you're not enjoying your
(12:24):
dinner. You've stopped eating. Yeah, I gotta get my breath once in
a while. Besides, there's somethingI want to ask you, if you
don't mind. Yes, well,i've known you for about two years and
as you know, and as youknow, why, Well, there's a
woman in the back of every man'ssuccess, except if she's a fan dancer.
(12:45):
And well look a ring, allan engagement ring. Yeah, on
a clear day you can see thediamonds. It's beautiful. Yes, but
do you think you can support afamily boy? I guess so. How
many he's in your family? Oh? Gee, it's starting to rain.
(13:07):
Oh gee? What am I gonnado? I catch cold every time I
get wet. Every time I getwet, I get an ammonia. Every
time I get an ammonia. Istopped off at a few minutes. And
besides, you just supposed to me. I know, of course, I've
had a lot of chances to getmarried, but I figure, why take
chances? Why? Only yesterday Iwas asked to get married, and I
(13:28):
said I would. Oh, gee, who asked you? My mother and
father? Oh, I guess I'lljust have to give up. You mean,
wait, you'll marry me? Certainlysilly. I've been waiting for you
to ask me for a whole year. Well, I didn't get over my
water underneath till yesterday. Oh gee, this is wonderful. We get married
tomorrow. H Look, I'll gohome and then I'll pick you up early.
(13:50):
Huh g. It's raining awful,heart off, Oh isn't it.
Well, we have a fair room, if you don't mind sleeping in the
attic. Oh, I wouldn't mindthe attic. I spent some of the
happy years of my life in theattic. Well, I wouldn't want you
to get inneumonia. No, Idon't look so good in an oxygen tent.
Well, it is kind of raining, kind of hard. I hope
I won't be putting you out,Oh not at all. I'll go right
(14:11):
up and fix it. You waithere, I'll be back all right.
Oh boy, and want to stealgeez. I just happened to remember something.
Come in, sure, look atyou where you're all wet? Where'd
(14:33):
you fan in the vein? Well? You said I could stay here all
night, So I went home aftermy pajama pot over road Beal Street Blues
really had something. And we thinkthat we've really got something here. And
Bob's Strong's arrangement of it. Heavenfor bal Street, Bob, the ladies
(17:18):
and gentlemen. I asked a plumberwho was working at my house if he
ever smoked Avalon cigarettes, and hesaid, sure, brother, I smoke
Avalons. They save me plenty ofdough. They plugged up the leak that
was drained in my pocketbook. Youknow, when I go on a job,
maybe I forget my tools, see, but I never forget my avalons.
(17:38):
Yes, friends, millions upon millionsof people from coast to coast know
that they've really found something in Avalons, a cigarette that positively cannot be surpassed
in quality, but costs three tofive cents left for pack than other popular
price brands. You certainly want togive Avalon cigarettes a trials made from extra
(18:00):
select Turkish and domestic tobaccos masterfully blendedto give you a smoke that wins the
highest praise from those people who arehardest to please. Now, judging by
the quality, you'd never guess Avalonscost you less three to five cents less
per pack, a saving that willmean many many extra dollars to you.
(18:22):
So the next time you need cigarettes, remember Avalons give you exceptional quality,
outstanding money saving economy. Buy apack of Avalons tonight. The grand boys
of kurt Nassy, backed up bythe intriguing harmonies of the Avalon call it
(18:47):
in one of the sweeter melodies ofthe day. If I had my way,
if I hadn't my waded forever,the god an umbroses for you and
(19:11):
for me, the one thing derive, just for you, just for you.
(19:33):
If and my way wing would nevergrow, and one shoe and bring
every day you would rain all alonelike a queen a frol my with you
(20:38):
would red like a queen on ourfloor with my with and now we come
(21:23):
to the third movement in our scripts. He is a send out Skelton service.
Now if anybody wants a day off, they send for Skelton. This
week it's a golf prow who's takinga day off while our juvenile jug head
takes his place. We pick upEdna, Stillwell and Red as they approach
the not Shore golf course. Howdo you think her car runs? I've
(21:44):
often wondered, you ought to puttwo handles on this thing and call it
a wheelbarrow. Well, here weare at the club, not flowing your
horn extra break, Well, grabyour clubs, dub and get ready to
give some golf lessons. Oh lookslike rain. Hell, I'll have to
get a caddy and carry these things. Oh here come to caddy now,
(22:07):
well are you a caddy? Well, I ain't a carpetbagger. Psyche les
a golf club tot. Oh goodness, yes, that's the scounting. I'm
just a past your pool porter.And to these scamp make me tramp.
I get the hardest job. It'sall good experience, But in my case,
experience is the greatest archer. I'llkeep it up by you'll get there
(22:33):
Oh, sometimes I wonder. Ikeep my nose to the grindstone, my
air to the ground, my eyeon the ball, my shoulder to the
wheel, and hold my future inmy hands and Heaven's above. If opportunity
ever knocks on the door, I'llbe too busy to answer it. I'm
here to take a golf pros placetoday. You know, Are you surprised
(22:57):
thinking the golf pros place? Oh? I certainly am. But I knew
it was you, mister Skelton,just as soon as I saw this car
drive in here and stop with ajerk. My first sucker, I mean,
pupil is a guy with the nameof Philthy Lucer. Filthy Lucer.
(23:19):
Why he's that millionaire eccentric, aneccentriccay Well, they call him eke centric,
but if he didn't have ten milliondollars, he'd just be a screwball.
And believe me, he belongs inan eccentric asylum. Do you know
what he goes around this course inthe low eighties? No, he's low
ONDI anyway, missus Skelta, okay, her gee, boy, that shower
(23:45):
is coming up there. Well,I guess I'll take a few practice through
his swing watching it. Nor ismy form? Your fun looks like two
sticks knucking a potato. My goform Norse. My bat swing hits your
swing, I mean the club andI'm just taking my stands now. Oh
well, go around a little bitthe way you wigod Loo's as if you
(24:08):
had ants in your stands. Oh, here comes my pupils. Hey,
that guy looks two years older thanMcPherson's family's golf balls. Well here he
is, mister scout, mister feltylooker. Oh, how do you do?
Mister luker? Quiet, quiet,I'm putting okay, but you haven't
he started to play yet. I'mputting this cigar in my mouth. Ohever's
(24:33):
pretty good out here. Yesterday gota home run? Oh that's a home
run. Yeah, pads the ballway over there to tall grass and run
all around the course where they canfind it. Well, first, I'm
gonna teach you how to hold thebrassy. I'd ready to start beholding the
caddy. Caddy. That's not agolf club, I know what that yam's
a caddy cheek. No, that'smiss Stillwell, my secretary, how they
(24:59):
pretty eat to the package. Well, just remember you're an no opisso postman.
Well, now let's get on withhis first golf lesson here. Now,
look you take your stands, youbring your cup back like this,
and who I hit it? Imean that's pretty good, went right out
of side. Don't look now,but if you move your left foot you'll
(25:22):
kick it. Yeah, well,no wonder. I can only drive a
few feet at the time. Thisis my Sunday driver. Let me drive
now. Quiet, okay, lookat that thing go by and forty yards.
D oh, look at things rollingright up the cup about two inches
(25:45):
from going in the hole. Chefsmissed it again. Well let's go.
Uh uh, it's start in therain. Let's run for the club house.
Are going? What are you alittle afraid of a little rain?
It's gonna hurt you a little rain. It ran pitchforks and hammer handled.
(26:06):
Oh stop exaggerating. Oh what hitme on the head a hammer handle.
I'm getting out of here. Okay, go ahead, come on, we'll
play this course rain or no rain. Sixteen holes in this storm over my
(26:27):
bull head. Seven strokes already,boy, what a lie you're telling me?
Yeah? Okay, okay, ninestrokes. Say how many shots did
you think getting out of that sandtraf. Eight shots, four with machine and
four shots right yeah shoo, Ohgoodness, heavens, I've catched it by
(26:48):
death of cold cold eh. Wouldyou like to snart ton? Oh?
Well, I guess a good snarkwouldn't hurt me. All right, here's
a handkerchief, quiet fat while theyhit the ball, I have said,
quiet, Oh, that's a thunder. I think I'm on the green.
(27:11):
I'm gonna run on up and hitthere, say herky. This guy's kind
of tight and he oh heavens,they say when he pays off, he
never pays off with anything but fiftydollars bill. Well, there's only one
drawback. What's that? He neverpays off? But I'm gonna settle this
right now. Hey, mister luker, Yes, I'd like to talk to
you just a minute. I chargedten dollars a lesson, and it's uh
pay as you play. Yeah,well, don't forget. I'm playing very
(27:34):
poorly. Oh my stars, Lookwhere the balls are? A dead stimy,
drag the thing away and bury it. Holy look at this golf course.
It's flooded. Play. You can'tsee anything but this green. Say
tomorrow they'll be looking for the missinglinks. Hey, the water's coming up
higher and the fire. Oh,I'll say that water as well. We'll
(27:55):
be drowned like rafts and a sam. No, wait a minute, I
got an idea. I know howI can say, here, take your
putter, now, put fut fufu fut but but but but but but
but bye. Okay, gang,I'll just step for this outboard mortar book.
We'll put put put right out ofhere. Well, thell that finishes
(28:44):
another one. It's about time forus to make way for the NBC.
Good chime, Charlie, Yes,Red, and don't forget the next week
we're going to broadcast from the AuditoriumTheater here in Chicago, and for special
guests, we're going to have aboutthree thousand, five hundred delegates to the
American Leaguing Convention. Oh boy,you know, I had a warm spot
for the legionnaires. I guess it'sbecause my uncle was a doe boy.
He was read. Yeah, hewas a cook in the army. You
(29:06):
know, he was wounded twice.Was a good thing the war ended when
it did, as those fellows hewas cooking for when he killed him.
Well, good night, everybody willsee you next week. Remember friends during
the week when you asked for Avaloncigarette, don't forget your change. Avon.
(29:38):
Yes, you'd never guess, butAvalon's costumely ten cents plus city or
states text be with us next Saturdayevening at the same time when the Brown
and William and Tobacco Corporation will againpresent Avalon time Nolle King's picking. Good
night. This is a nice lie. Broadcasting domin oh W E A F
(30:17):
New York nine p M b UL O V A bull of a watch
time Bullivar, masterpiece of fine watchmaking. Well o V a bull of a
watch time Bullivar, masterpiece of finewatchmaking.
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