Guest Richard B Gilb an episode of Avalon Time radio show

Please enjoy Guest Richard B Gilb a great episode of the legendaryAvalon Time radio show - A Classic Old Time radio Show - OTR

Episode Transcript

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W E A F New York eightthirty pm. B U l O v
A Bulivar Watch Time, Bullivar Officialtimepiece. American Airlines a lack of Avalon
cigarettes Please, yes, sir,just a moment, sir, don't forget

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your change. You'd never guess thatAvalon's cost you less all line travelin good
evening, friends, good evening.This is Del Kane saying welcome to Avalon

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time with radio's Redheaded Rag him upand Richard red Skelton, Dick todd Edna
Stillwell, the four Puffs, butHercules vandover the Avalon Chorus and Bob Strong
and his Orchestra. The Orchestra isthe program with it's one hundred to one

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It s are you paying popular pricesfor your cigarettes simply because you think that's

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the only way to get the qualityyou demand? Well, think this over.
Avalon cigarettes are guaranteed unsurpassed in quality, but costs three to five cents
less per pack than other popular pricebrands. Yes, Union made Avalons are
guaranteed highest quality. In fact,you couldn't get finer quality tobaccos in any

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other cigarette, regardless of price,regardless of brands. Avalons are the cigarettes
that give you both outstanding quality andexceptional economy. Try a pack tonight,
you'd never guess they cost you less. When some men overtax their brains,

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they have a nervous breakdown. Othersstart cutting out paper dolls. But our
pink painted Palyachi just at its headline, hokum, And here he is that
streamline, streamline, redhead scarehead hunter, red skeleton. Than's even good?
Even me, ladies and judgment.And now for the news. Cincinnata will

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Hio The New York Yankees win theWorld Series again. Poor guys are just
in a rut. See the waythose Yankees tour around the bases. Either
swore the guy behind home plate wasCarol Lombardi. I felt fired for those
Cincinnata red though. After the lastgame they just sat around and hung their

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annuities. Four thousand bucks feat Chicago, Illinois Dizzey Deans will probably manage a
Hollywood baseball team next year. Ifanything goes wrong, I suppose the news
items will read Hollywood releases a newtalking picture. News from New York and

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California. Both World's fairs are scheduledto close soon. See you think of
all the jokes that will for allthe work. See, the fairs were
really beautiful though, no kid,they're all together different from what it was
when I was back home in vincenWe used to go out to the county
fair and everybody would say what timesof bloom go up? Nowadays when you
go to the fair, they saywhat times a bubble dancer take off?

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Milwaukee, Wisconsin, a mother ofa three year old child says that she
should have known better than to marrya chiropractor. Already her kids starting to
talk. Fact Hollywood, California,a new picture is released called Mister Smith
Goes to Washington. Let's be aslow motion picture. Mister Smith started for

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Washington in nineteen twenty eight. Andhere's something that just came in. It's
something from our one ad department.Willisville, Kentucky wanted a funny comedians.
Hey, how about that sounds prettygood? A comedian wanted for a big
program. Phone Cipher Double ought nothingin Louisville and ask for mister Avalon.

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He wouldn't dead. I guess thattakes care of the news for the night.
So I'll pick up the coffee,I coffee and take my way out
out of here while Dick tod singsto you and I do mean you to

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you, I giveolve my heart andmy love to you. To you,
I'll bring sunbeams from heaven a ballto you. You mean you're an angel

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and you mean the world to me. I'll be forever your Your smile made
the clouds and the shadows on high. Take with him your kids was a

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real inspiration, too greater than mydream. I am so thankful and grateful
to say, came through high onit all to your smile, made the

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clouds and the shadows on high.Takeaway your kids was a real inspiration,
too greater than my dream. Iam so thankful and grateful to say came

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I all it all that that wasto you, sung by our glamour boy

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Dick Todd. You should see him, girl. He has weighty hair that
looks almost natural. But I mustsay, Dick, that your new page
boy hairdo is simply ravishing way offboth wigs at Dig's scouting. Well,
then you lay off telling people thatthis program is now in the lap of

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the Todds. That has nothing todo with it. I repeat, oh,
you repeat huh. A bicarbonate baritonefolk there. Let me tell you
something crumb. The word is chump. Okay, chump, just ravel on
one sure cutting remarks cut out.Those sharp barbes are half wid h fantee

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patte pat And so he thinks myremarks sting, Eh, that's not the
word he used. Let me tellyou something, Tod Just a minute here,
just a minute here you Why can'tyou fellows be friends? He started
it when he came on the program. I offered him my hand and he

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gave me a hot foot fair allforget it, forget it. And by
the way, by the way,did you did you have a good time
at the World Series? Did I? Did anybody here from Saint Nay?
You should have seen that Jame Dell. I saw the little man who wasn't
there? He played for the Redfor the Reds. Reds. Who is

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he? He's the guy that hittheir home runs. Saw your uncle laugh
of the game. He must haveliked the way the series turned out,
Yeah, he sure did. Afterthe last game he started a Yankee celebration.
He took four straight. Oh red, How is that new apartment you
took with your uncle? Oh it'skind of a dopey plate. They call
it the villa Nova Kane. Ohour, do you bachelors get along without

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that feminine touch? Oh? Wehave the feminine touch. We have a
lady landlord. Do they ask muchfor ren? They asked every day,
but they don't get us. I'lllisten, miss Stillwell, you just act
as my secretary. That's a nicejob, acting as secretary to a screwball
who's not acting. Say you lookas if you could use some sleep for

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me. Why every night at nineo'clock I'm put to sleep by the sand
man. Yeah, well last nighthe must have left a couple of sandbags
under your eye. Those they're notbags. My cheeks are just flabby.
I can't be bothered anyhow. I'mwaiting around here for my tailor. I'm
warning some new fall wardrobe. Look, you make this soup for me?
You like that material? I read? That looks to me like genuine Harris

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burlap. It's genuine shark skin.Shark skin. I thought I smell fish
gang Enough on me again. Itain't fair, no fair, no fair,
Stop wailing, Grover. I'm notgonna bother my time with you folks

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around here. Wish my tailor toget here. That's probably him now,
boy, the only one that don'tgive raps on this program is the sound
man. Let's try it again withyou. That must be him, Now

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come in. Well, I'm gladyou got well. Are you the tailor?
Well, I ain't skiff a rallythe rug cutter, thank you.
Lee's a judleman of the bread.Oh heavens yes, that's the skeleton.
And can I weave a yarn?Weave a yard? You don't sound like
a tailor, herkie does sound likea corn broker. Oh gee, that's

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clever. Well, let's not wasteany time. I'm here to give your
clothes the needle. Though you're justa few minutes late, the cast has
already beat you to it. Well, let's see. I've got some brand
new material, checkered rubber. Yes, would you like a rubber suit with
bouncing check and, knowing how youwear your trowsers mets the skeleton, I'm

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making you some real fancy tanks withbeaded bags at the knees. Well,
first i'd like to discuss those uneasypayments. How much're gonna charge me?
Oh my goodness, don't worry aboutthe price. There's only one price during
my Republican sale, Republican saale.Well haven't you heard about my republican sale?

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Everything's going for nineteenth fourths? Well, I guess I'll pick your measurements
now, Okay, neck below thechin, chest thufle, waste of good
material? Finey care back all present? Boy? What measurements? What a
happy looking shroud that's going to be? Well, where do you see the

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style? I can either drape ortroop of dripping or trout. Well,
I've got to go now. I'mworking on a new streamline bustle for women.
A streamline bustle. Yeah, itmakes them get around faster. And
I'm gonna cause a hustle buscle itdon't hur so and so says Kelting.

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Is your name really Richard? Yeah, Dick, just same as yours.
And we really shouldn't be living eachother, that's right? Say you mean
we want to pull together exactly.Let's three Richards dominate this program. Three
Richards. Who's the other Richards?Well, don't you get your jokes from
the poor Richard Dominac. Yeah,there's some music, will you bob one,

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two, three, four? Herethey are the four pops Alkalon.
Time's you dongsters with Bob's wrong darkstBra in that new tune with the elongated
titles. You don't know how muchyou can suffer. Oh, you don't

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know how much you can suffer.No, no one knows how much God
they can suffer. Oh you don'tknow how your fucking suffer. Oh you
never never, never know till you'rein love. Oh you don't know when
kids is so tender they come froma lovely pretender. Oh you don't know

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the joy of the rember. Ohyou never never, never know your in
lofer a prop hard to gather.Oh that what love made of me?
You don't know harmon you can suffer. You never known't till you're in love.

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You don't know how much you can'tserve. You start beating us one
and only no excuse for it's toolate. You not folly Longe. Did
you hear what Tony Ravioli, theworld's champion bologna eater, said, Well,

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he said, I'm pushed him downone hundred pounds of blonie in ninety
minutes to forty five second. That'sa lot of bologne. I'm pushing down
my cigarettes to cost the one thatthowed it with the Avalon. That's an
oblonie. Yes, friends, itis absolutely true. You can save plenty
of money by switching to Avalon cigarettes. Avalons cost three to five cents less

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per pack than other popular price brands, but judging by the quality, you'd
never guess Avalons cost you less.Give Avalon cigarettes a trial. Tonight,
it's time to present Dick Todd again, this time with the Avalon Chorus.

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But first we have a distinguished guesthere tonight, and it's my privilege to
introduce him over the air, misterRichard B. Gilbert, Editor of the
leading musical publication Metronome. Mister Gilbert, thank you, del king friends.
I wish to pay the respects ofmy publication Metronome to one of the members
of your cast for his ability asa vocalist, both on phonograph records and

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on the air. It is mypleasure to present to Dick Todd the silver
plaque Metronome's Special Award for outstanding meritduring nineteen thirty nine. To you are
Dick. Thank you, mister Gilbert. I certainly do appreciate this high honor,
and I hope I may continue tokeep up the high standard of Metronome
that has set for me. Thankyou again. This time we really do

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present Dick Todd in the avalon chorusand the song that sings of a memory.
Most all of us cherish the oldmill wheel, Old Milwury, keep
bond, turn, keep on turningmy ball to yesturday dream in the shadow?

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Why you bring back the dreams thatwere the street last night? My
law was he to beside me.You join, Old Miloe. Why your

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turning turn the moon by and bringback your certain your two nights? My

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law is a way, old Milone. Why your turning turn the moon by

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hand? Bring back there all thatwould sell? And now we come to

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our slice of life, a shortplay little about things that really happen,
things that you do that I do. In fact, everybody dead. And
tonight's slice of life is about thetrouble we go to to see a baseball
game. You set the scene there, okay, Red, the time,
the day before the last big seriesgame, the place and office, I'm
hurry in your hometown. Red Skeletonplays the part of a young man about

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the wrong side of town who hasjust won free tickets for the big game
in a raffle edna stillwell, whoplays. The part of Red's Girl got
him the same way. Listen tothe ye what are you so happy about?
I just won two tickets for theWorld Series in a raffle. Honestly,

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yeah, I pull my take itout three times in a row.
I thought the way they ran thoseraffles was to have a little girl come
out and pick out the number.Yes, they do, and everybody said,
I look very cute, and mycurly temple say, would you like
to drive down the stith of netand see the ball game? Oh?
Bitched. I think it's sweet ofyou to ask me, And I'm just
dying to see someone throw a fieldgoal over home plate. Did the boss

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say it was okay to take theday off? Yeah, I told him
I was going to my great grandmother'sfuneral. Did he fall for it,
Yeah, he said He's sorry hecouldn't see Darringer pitch the sermon. Well,
come on, let's get out ofhere. Boy, am I getting
sick of this office? Why Igot that clock on the wall keeps staring
at me all day? Let's go. We're off to the ball game,

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boy, And these seeks good.On a clear day, you can see
the color of the field the boywas never up behind him alive? Look
out, touch your head? Whatwas that bock Rodgers? Funny man?
I knew it was an arrowplane.But what's he doing flying so low over

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the World Series? He's roping pamphletsfor the Brooklyn Dodgers. Oh look at
all those little boys down there inshort pants. And those are the ballplayers.
Well, what are they gonna playingmarbles? That depends on who's pitching.
Oh there's Red ruffing, red boy, red out of boy boy.

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He just watched that guy. Whyis showman? Before the game, he
usually throws a screwball over the fence. Aren't you glad you're out of reach?
Yeah? Yoh? Who's that mansurrounded by all those policemen down there?
Oh he's the umpire. We'll belong now. He's dusting off the
plate. Oh oh, so that'swhy this big crops here. It's it's

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nice dude. That's right. Ohhere we go, better up? Who's
the first? Better setting? Greeneckgetting right now? I just can't and
dry the ball game without peanut.I can enjoy the game without you,
though, brother. How's that again? Little man? Come on, get
going. We don't want any peanuts. We just want you to move,

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so I can see how it's thematter. Brother, don't you want to
see someone make a living well?In your case? No one of them
capitalists. All you gotta do iswatch the ball game, bing jeopardys on
porslav. I mean, jen makea few, but all not fight down.
So I like to see everybody working. Oh a slave driver? Well,

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how much of your peanut? Can'tsay out here? That's it?
Thanks? Oh, don't forget mychain? Oh I won't. I'll always
cover you next to my heart.Good bye, lane. Well, I'm
glad that's over look. The signsays it's a third inning. Let's what
third inning? See what happened tothe first two? I guess they went

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away? Of the Indians? Theyare full the Official Baseball Book of nineteen
thirty nine, all the batting averagesand seven hundred illustrations. What am I?
The man in the iron mask?I can't see a thing? What
happened? What happened? I don'tknow? Hey, Book of the month?
Come here? How many? Brother? Look, I'll buy two of
them if you'll get out of myway. How much are they? Hell?

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I know you won't believe it,brother, But this little book is
free, but there's a small twodollars cover charge. That's her official baseball.
Ain't look at the sixth inning already, see I haven't even seen a
good argument. Say, what's thatfellow standing behind a catcher with his hand
up for? Does he have toknow with? No? He is the

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fire. Now we're gonna see someaction. Free, absolutely free, have
fun with their free hot dog getjob. I dropped there, guaranteed not
the repairs rank fade off, fullof the theme. Clean Sam is back
again? Here th skinless snope.I always looked this weight from being on
the sun too long? How manybrothers? Oh? Barton me sit?

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I didn't see you crouching there?What are you doing after the game?
Oh, wait a minute, thisis the last strawl. No, it
ain't chime. I got plenty ofwhat color. Don't get excited, Richard.
I think I know how to getrid of this indigestion. Patner,
Hey, Jackson, talk about meetingit at the main gate after the ball

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game. Okay, Giry, doyou think you can ditch your little brother?
Her little brother after the game,sweetheart. Well, if he thinks
I'm going to meet him, Oh, let's see what's happening down there?
Oh, there's a wind up.There's the pitch right threas Upay? Why

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is everybody leaving? I'll probably justthe seventh. Hey, well, see
the ball games over? Don't wantmy money, But I didn't see a
thing. I don't even know whatthe score is. Ah, you're just
self content? What does the scoreboardsay? Doyle's garters right here? I

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am pro Hey, what's the matterwith little loudry? Somebody swiping pompstickle.
I'll listen you. You've ruined mywhole afternoons. Maybe the least thing you
could do tell me what the scoreis. I don't know, so it's
playing. I'll have to settles it. Brother, I'm gonna fix you right
now. I'm gonna put you inthe noise. Okay, brother, you
at here? You come back here? Well he's gone, and it's a

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good thing too for Richard. Richard, are you all by? Yeah?
I'm all right. Gee, isn'tit wonderful? Black on the form farm?
What makes you think you're back onthe farm. I've just been cloud
under. A word to the ladies. You ladies are known as shrewd careful

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buyers. You shop before you buy, saving several cents here and several cents
there, and those repeated savings moundup to real money. You know that
to be a fact. Then whynot apply this same smart thinking to your
cigarette buying. Avalon cigarettes guarantee youhighest quality, but costs three to five

(27:42):
cents less per pack than other popularprice brands, and that repeated saving means
many many extra dollars every year.So the next time, try Avalon cigarettes
and save the difference. Well,well that winds up another one. Yes,

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Red, and it was quite advertisement. That's French for clam bakes.
By the way, do you thinkthe program gets over as well on Wednesday's
Red Do I while according to allreports last week people were laughing for an
hour after we left, no kidding, sure, Fred Allen came on right
after it. Well, good night, everybody, see you next week.

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Goodbye. Now, remember, friends, during the week, when you ask
for Avalon cigarettes, don't forget yourchange, Oh Abalon, Yes you'd never

(29:33):
guess, but Avalon's costs only tencents. But city or State text,
well, friends, we hope you'veenjoyed our show and be with us next
Wednesday night. At the same hourwhen the Brown and Williams and Tobacco Corporation
again presents Red Skeletons, Dick toddEdna Stillwell and the entire gang in avalon
time. This is Dell King sayinggood night. A special announcement for pipe

(30:07):
smokers. Men smoke the tobacco that'srecognized everywhere as the quality pipe tobacco of
America. That tobacco is Sir WalterRaleigh. Sir Walter Raleigh is the largest
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Yes, everywhere you find men whoknow quality smoking. If you paid one

(30:30):
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Yet it costs no more than ordinarytobaccos. This is the National Broadcasting
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