May 9, 2024 • 30 mins
Please enjoy Headline Holcomb a great episode of the legendaryAvalon Time radio show - A Classic Old Time radio Show - OTR
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:11):
A pack of Avalon cigarettes. Pleaseyes, sirs, oh gus the moment
stairs, don't forget your change.You'd never guess that Avalon's cost you left.
(00:36):
Good evening, friends, good evening. This is del King saying welcome
to Avalon Time with Kirk Matthew EdnaStillwell, Jeanette, the Avalon cost,
Bob Strong and his Orchestra, andRadio's Redheaded Rag him Uppin, Richard red
Skelton, the Orchestral's the program withI'm Sorry for myself, Ladies and gentlemen.
(01:15):
Avalons offer every smoker a new highin cigarette value. Avalons are quality
cigarettes, quality cigarettes, mind you, that costs three to five cents less
per pack than other popular price brands. And bear this in mind. That
repeated saving of three to five centson every pack you smoke will net you
(01:37):
many many extra dollars in mighty shortorder. But without knowing, you'd never
guess Avalons cost you less. They'reone hundred percent union made from the choices
Turkish and domestic Tobaccos never has aprice so low. Bought this superior Avalon
quality, a quality that's unsurpassed.Avalons certainly deserve a trial. Why not
(02:00):
get a pack. Tonight in themirror you see features. In the movies,
(02:50):
you see double features. But tonightwe bring you a triple feature.
Red Skeleton. That man of manyparts appears in three parts. First as
that snooper school were with squirrel eyeviews of the news, second in a
Slice of life, and third ina new and unique public service thend out
Skeleton. And now headline Holcom wepresent that fears Pallah who formulates father for
(03:13):
fanny folks who like their news setsto them through their funny bones red skeletons.
Thank you very much, good evening, ladies and gentlemen. And now
for the news. Washington, dC. Five noted scientists flight of Washington
to do research work on sixty casesof sleeping sickness. I could hear sleeping
(03:35):
sickness in Washington with three words.Congress is a jerk, funny thing.
Everybody picks on the congressman, youknow, jever see a congressman being sworn
into all of its First they're swornin and then they're cut out. My
father was a candidate, no kidding. He was like all politicians. Though
he had three hats. One hecarried, one he threw in the ring
(03:57):
and the other. He polled throughNew York City. The style experts say
that's the long dresses will be thevote this fall. I don't care.
I got a good memory. Chicago, Illinois, Dizzey Dan hits the headlines
again this week. This time it'sno glass top table, though it's at
(04:18):
the glass arms. There's a rumorin Chicago that the Cubs are going to
trade Dizzey Dan. They're going totrading Forran Sheridan. They want somebody with
more curves. Shopping nudes from coastto coast, All the department stores from
coast to coast have started their annualAugust bargain sales. You know why they
(04:38):
have those sales in August. That'sso you'll be out of the hospital by
labor days. Ship they come kidding, says some of those women are so
rough that the stores have installed anew system. Every fifteen minutes they call
time to carry out the men.That isn't one of those sales in the
afternoon, Boy, and those womenreally tore me down. I said to
the floor walker, where can Ibuy a tie to match this shirt?
(05:00):
He's a wash shirt. A specialnews bulletin the Titanic things. How that
getting here? Well, that's aboutall for the night. I had more
news for you tonight, But Irode over here on a streetcar and my
newspaper that I was reading got offat State Street. So Jeanette will sing
(05:23):
in the middle of the kids,I'll be right back, I mean middle
of a dream. Sing it,Jeanette, In the middle of a dream,
(05:46):
you whispered, I love you.The tenderness hall. It took my
breath away in the middle of it. I stood there before you. The
(06:06):
word d join all I could say. Rumble died, My hopes were heaven
bound, my troubles were passed.Did I felt that I had found my
(06:29):
future at last? But as strangeas it may see, my heart was
mistaken. Why did I away?Come in the middle of a dream?
(07:04):
But as strange as it may see, my heart wasn't a station. Why
did I away in a middle adream? That was Jeannette singing in the
(07:34):
middle of a dream, and verypretty too. Stay read. What's this
other news department for starting tonight?Well, it's called a slice of life.
It's a short play lit of thingsthat happen in everyday life, things
that you do and that I do. In fact, everybody doing. What's
the first one about? Well,tonight we present the case of a very
bashful boy who's taking his girl homethings. He's only known her for about
(07:54):
three years now. He's never kissedthe girl, but he's always wanted to.
Night night, you said the scenebelt okay, rest the time ten
thirty the place somewhere in your cities. A boy and girl are just approaching
(08:15):
the steps of the girl's home.Well here we are. Got you home
early, didn't I? Yes?And I had a lovely time. You
like the show? It was goodgood? Yeah? Well well look yeah,
I like that theater over there.I like those old pictures they show
what was the name of the onesand night Let's see it was strange in
(08:35):
or tube or something like that.Well, I gotta go now, I
gotta get up early in the morning, go get my relief check cashed.
The launch is gonna oh, well, good night. Well just a moment,
I've got something to ask you.If you don't mind, yes,
what, well, it's nothing much? Well what is it? Well?
(08:56):
Would you mind fight? Well?That is gee? You have pretty tea?
Are the youys? I mean?I meant to say, do you
washing me yourself? Or do youjust send them out? I'm hey,
who's out there? It's richer thanme? Dad? Oh him again?
(09:16):
If we just got homes in thetheater, I'll be in in a few
minutes, all right, tonight,bop, don't you pop me? Or
I'll come down there and pop you. You wouldn't find time to be coming
home waking pooked up, talking loudenough to wake up the dead. See
how come your dad don't like me? Can I help it? If I
belong to the window washers Association insteadof the Janitor's League. You know we
(09:41):
all can't be street cleaners like him. You know he doesn't hold that against
you. No, what is it? Well, he just doesn't think of
have any get out. He thinksyou're too shy. Oh yeah, is
that all of ail him? Yes? Now what were you going to ask
me? Well? Would you mindit? Would to fight? Kissed you
(10:01):
good night? Actually? How abouta kiss? How about a smoothie?
Well? What's the matter you dad? But what's the matter? Are you
paralyzed? No? You mean Ican have one? Oh gee, I've
wanted to do this for a longtime. You won't hate me for it?
(10:22):
In the morning. You won't tellanybody? Know you know how those
things spread? Well? There itcomes. Where did you learn to kiss
like that? Oh? I eata lot of spaghetti? See? Am
(10:43):
I the first fellow you ever?Kids? Uh? Huh? But you
know what's a funny thing? What'sfunny? All of the fellows asked me
that same question. Look, that'swhat I wanted to ask you about.
I know you've got a lot offellows crazy about you. All that.
Would you marry me? What?Of course? I know I'm not much
to look at. Well that's allright. You'd be working all day,
(11:09):
then you'll marry me. I'll betyou ask all the girls to marry you.
No, I don't either. Ionly ask one other girl to marry
me. But when I told herI had a rich uncle, what happened
a week later? She was myrich aunt? See when do you when?
Do you think we could tell thefolk? I should get some sleep.
If you don't time, I'm comingdad. Just what you start to
(11:31):
do with all? Something has towake you up. Well, I've got
to go in now. Yoh couldI have another kids? No, not
tonight, I'm too tired. WellI'm tired to come on. Give me
another little kids, wall I comeon, just one little kids and I'll
go home and get some sleep.You're gonness sake. And they give the
guy a kiss and we'll all getsome sleep. Bob Strong and the boys
(12:24):
of one of the nation's top kunWhite Sails, ladies and gentlemen, Red
(14:26):
Skelton has started a new service tothe public called Send Out Skelton. He's
the last of the Jack of alltrades, and he'll do anything anywhere,
anytime. In fact, he'll doanybody. Here he is in his new
office of his secretary, Edna Stilwell. Oh you see, miss still Well.
It's all very simple. If somebodywants to say he offered me a
job, he just calls me upand I take his job over for the
day. How do I make myselfplay? Not only play, but simple?
(14:48):
Yeah, that's a great idea.Though. You know, I'm known
as the Jack of all trades.Didn't you ever learn any particular place?
But I wish I had, ButI'd learned some trades to say, I
know what kind of work I Igotta I'll take that. Hello, this
is to Send Out Skelting service.Yes, do you want me to substitute
(15:09):
for you as a mountain claiming guyas well, old ballie, I'll be
right over. Oh sure, I'llbe right out. Or you a mountain
climber. Sure, I'm a terrificmountain climber. Yeah. Why every flight
of stairs a climbing need artificial respiration. Hell, don't you worry about me?
Now, you stay here and takecare of the office. They want
me to be up there right away, So I gotta get over the old
(15:30):
eagle balls. I must be allAnd now, ladies and gentlemen, we
take you up on the slopes ofOld Baldy where Red Skelton is leading a
party of summer hotel guests on amountain climbing expedition. And here's a great
mountain climber. Now sure, well, I guess we better stop hearing rest
(15:54):
while I know you almost be prettytalking. Oh well, I knew you'd
all be tired. Say where thosetwo staves from our dogs I brought along?
Say what of them got a littlekeg of brandy under his neck?
And so in case somebody gets lostwhile we're Randon's than the other keg gingerrell
and ice cube. Did you seethe dogs? Well, yes, that
(16:18):
man with the red nose, theslame with them. He'd pretend that he
was lost and the dogs had goand find him. He certainly he's a
playful guy in it. Oh hedidn't outdown I saw, and he was
playful of the Gus asked missus Gaudy. I don't wish you didn't have those
dogs. Them on and they makeme nervous. Oh, you don't have
(16:40):
to worry about those, mister football. They won't bite you. They bark
a lot, but they won't biteyou. Oh well, I start right
then, But why not. We'vebought the feet off of my trouser and
he's just well, come on,let's get over. Let's see. I
think I'll take this trail it,No, we'll take this which one is?
Look over there's a gypsy camp,folks. I'll go over and see
if they give us the directions tobe coming around the mountain gypsy or miss
(17:04):
gypsy, Miss gypsy? There wasthe trouble of your bis so kindly,
well, I'm looking for a gypsy. It happened to be addressing none other
than this Rose Levy. Gypsy RoseLevy, Well, look, could you
tell me which trail I take upto the old eagle bowl. But personally
(17:26):
by reading the palm at the fish, you should crossing my palm with a
silver half dollar cash. Oh Ihalf a dollar? My mind, such
a stingy pant sick o. LookI give anybody the shirt off of my
back, so who'd wears? I? Look, let's been reading my laundry.
(17:48):
So here's a half a dollar?Come on? How go? I?
Well, well, such a quincident. Poll. I'm looking back behind
you, and I see a signwhich says to old baldy. Yeah,
but you charged me a half abuck to show me something that's right in
plain sight. Well like the milkbed. I'm only trying to squeeze out
the life. Okay, goodbye,miss Jips, so long fill Okay,
(18:14):
okay, let's go. Boy,what a dame. I've heard of mediums.
I've heard of happy mediums. Thefirst time I ever ran across the
slap happy medium, say, misterscout. They tell me there's some big
mosquitoes up here. Big. Theygive you an idea how big the mosquitoes
are. Do you see that storkover there? Yeah? Oh, that
ain't no stork. It's pretty wildcountry though. My just this morning near
(18:38):
the hotel. My uncle shot awildcat in his pajamas, and it's a
jama Do you suppose the wildcat gotin there? Mister Skelton, I just
got a mosquito bike. Don't leta little thing like a mosquito bite bother
you. Oh well, I knowI shouldn't complain, but it's ratting on
(18:59):
the place where I got the poison. Ivy comes my sunburned. Oh here
we are, folks fight on theedge of ole. George's gorge. Oh
that's gorgeous. Go I never expectto see him more. Oh I'm silent.
Good come around sometime and watch meeat. Well, everybody ready to
(19:19):
go back? Nerves? No,no, wait a minute, now,
just a moment. Don't try toturn me back. We must the walks.
Hey, look on, there's awood chopper. Well are you a
woodman? Well, I ain't afuller brush. A thank you Lee the
lumberjacks. Oh yes, mister Skelton. And I'm getting ragged, getting rugged.
(19:44):
But if I can just keep goingon this job, I'll have muscles
on my ear. Well, howdo you like your job, Ricky?
Well, I don't know. Yesterdaywas my first day and I started out
just full of old ned I stoppedthe shot, and tree after tree succumb
to my might. But what Ithought was a successful day turned out to
(20:04):
be something awful. What happened?I chopped down nineteen telegraph poles? But
what are you doing up on oldbaldy. Oh we're just climbing up to
the peak. Well you want tobe awful, careful of those rocks.
I slipped and splid down a slopeyesterday and was thy land spray. Well
(20:30):
we'll be senior Hurkeey. We gottapush along though, Okay, missus Skelton.
I gotta get back to work anyway. I'm working on Christmas trees now,
and there's only one hundred and tenshopping days till Christmas. Good old
Hurkey he's always whittling. While hewas look and mountains goes leaping from crag
(20:55):
to crags. Imagine that that gotto it? YEA like to see you
jump around like that on canned food. Oh here we are, folks.
This is a cliff number two.This is Edwards Cliff, Say Skelting.
What's that camp down there in thevalley. That's a government camp. We're
just a thousand feet above it.Imagine that a thousand feet above a c
(21:15):
see sea level. Oh oh,look, I can see the hotels through
these steal glasses. Why people downin the hotel look just like little dogs
bucks. Let's see. Ah,you're looking in a bedroom window. Come
on, let's take a look inthis cave. Huh oh, my awful
(21:37):
dark in there. I'll go inwith you. Okay, it's kind of
dark in here. He's he athing in here. Are you scared?
Well, I'm kind of scared.Well that's a heaven say throw your arms
around my neck. No, I'mnot that scared. Look you better go
back. I'll go in a lotsteel nerves skelton, that's me? Or
(22:00):
is it will that you missed pole? Can that be a bear? No,
it's probably just my imagination. I'llreach around here. My imagination has
got a fur coato. Hey,if you're a bear, growl again.
That's all I want to know.A bear? Hountains follow me on one
(22:26):
side. Brother, I'm way aheadof it. I can't go any for
it. Come on and get me, mister bear. Why the bear never
even came out of the cave.I know it all the time. Man,
I'm just a little trick of mineto get you to finish the trip
up the top of Old Bawdy.And isn't it beautiful? Look at that
(22:48):
view? See how beautiful down therein the valley. Oh it's beautiful down
there. You folks think it's beautifuldown there. Oh it's wonder full off,
it's so beautiful down there. Whatdo you want to come up here?
For? One of the finest songsever, Inspired by the romance and
(23:15):
drama of the Western Plains, KurtMassey and the Avalon Cars sing, boots
and saddles, Take me back tomy boo some saddle. Let me see
(23:47):
that general store, Let me rideaway, give me my boo and saddle.
Let me ramble along the Perrie,roping steers on Old Bay with my
(24:26):
buddy Slim Manta. Give me myboom and saddle and Incanca moon, Take
(24:56):
me back to my boo some saddle. Let me greet each blades and more
(25:18):
on the land for ivan's more,Give me my boom and saddle, Ladies
(26:03):
and gentlemen. Just before the broadcastto Night I was talking to Roger the
fiddle player. I asked him ifhe smoked Avalon cigarettes, and he said,
and when he said yes. Iasked him what he really thought of
them. He replied, that's right. You'd never guess they cost you less,
And ladies and gentlemen, you'd neverguess. Avalons cost you less three
(26:26):
to five cents less per pack thanother posular price brands because their quality through
and through union, made from thevery finest Turkish and domestic tobaccos that money
can buy, blended just right togive you a smoke that's unsurpassed in smoothness,
mildness, and mellow flavors. Andremember, you get this superior quality
(26:48):
cigarette for three to five cents less. Now is it any wonder that millions
upon millions of value? Why smokersare switching to Avalons? Why don't you
give them a trial? You geta pack tonight? Well, dell,
(28:45):
it looks like it's time to lockher up and put her away. Yes,
sir, tempt really fidgets, doesn'tit? Oh? Yes, stay
read? Is this sandel skelting serviceof yours really on the up and up?
Chur? It's on the up andup. At last, I found
a job that deserves me. Well, how about your headline, holkom and
your slice of life? I likethose features and how about some more next
week? Oh, I think Ican be prevailed upon. Good Night,
(29:07):
Dell, good night. Everybody willsee you next week. Remember, friends,
during the week, when you askfor avalons, don't forget your change
all travel. Yes, you'd neverguess, but avalons cost only ten cents
(29:33):
plus city or state fact. Bewith us next Saturday evening at the same
time when the Brown and Williams andTobacco Corporation will again present avalon Knive Delle
King speaking good night word on thisprogram long, I'm sorry, I hold
(29:59):
myself, I'm second tender. Havea long time canting from our department studio.
This is the National Broadcasting Couple.Oh w E A F New York,
(30:27):
w E A F New York
A pack of Avalon cigarettes. Pleaseyes, sirs, oh gus the moment
stairs, don't forget your change.You'd never guess that Avalon's cost you left.
(00:36):
Good evening, friends, good evening. This is del King saying welcome
to Avalon Time with Kirk Matthew EdnaStillwell, Jeanette, the Avalon cost,
Bob Strong and his Orchestra, andRadio's Redheaded Rag him Uppin, Richard red
Skelton, the Orchestral's the program withI'm Sorry for myself, Ladies and gentlemen.
(01:15):
Avalons offer every smoker a new highin cigarette value. Avalons are quality
cigarettes, quality cigarettes, mind you, that costs three to five cents less
per pack than other popular price brands. And bear this in mind. That
repeated saving of three to five centson every pack you smoke will net you
(01:37):
many many extra dollars in mighty shortorder. But without knowing, you'd never
guess Avalons cost you less. They'reone hundred percent union made from the choices
Turkish and domestic Tobaccos never has aprice so low. Bought this superior Avalon
quality, a quality that's unsurpassed.Avalons certainly deserve a trial. Why not
(02:00):
get a pack. Tonight in themirror you see features. In the movies,
(02:50):
you see double features. But tonightwe bring you a triple feature.
Red Skeleton. That man of manyparts appears in three parts. First as
that snooper school were with squirrel eyeviews of the news, second in a
Slice of life, and third ina new and unique public service thend out
Skeleton. And now headline Holcom wepresent that fears Pallah who formulates father for
(03:13):
fanny folks who like their news setsto them through their funny bones red skeletons.
Thank you very much, good evening, ladies and gentlemen. And now
for the news. Washington, dC. Five noted scientists flight of Washington
to do research work on sixty casesof sleeping sickness. I could hear sleeping
(03:35):
sickness in Washington with three words.Congress is a jerk, funny thing.
Everybody picks on the congressman, youknow, jever see a congressman being sworn
into all of its First they're swornin and then they're cut out. My
father was a candidate, no kidding. He was like all politicians. Though
he had three hats. One hecarried, one he threw in the ring
(03:57):
and the other. He polled throughNew York City. The style experts say
that's the long dresses will be thevote this fall. I don't care.
I got a good memory. Chicago, Illinois, Dizzey Dan hits the headlines
again this week. This time it'sno glass top table, though it's at
(04:18):
the glass arms. There's a rumorin Chicago that the Cubs are going to
trade Dizzey Dan. They're going totrading Forran Sheridan. They want somebody with
more curves. Shopping nudes from coastto coast, All the department stores from
coast to coast have started their annualAugust bargain sales. You know why they
(04:38):
have those sales in August. That'sso you'll be out of the hospital by
labor days. Ship they come kidding, says some of those women are so
rough that the stores have installed anew system. Every fifteen minutes they call
time to carry out the men.That isn't one of those sales in the
afternoon, Boy, and those womenreally tore me down. I said to
the floor walker, where can Ibuy a tie to match this shirt?
(05:00):
He's a wash shirt. A specialnews bulletin the Titanic things. How that
getting here? Well, that's aboutall for the night. I had more
news for you tonight, But Irode over here on a streetcar and my
newspaper that I was reading got offat State Street. So Jeanette will sing
(05:23):
in the middle of the kids,I'll be right back, I mean middle
of a dream. Sing it,Jeanette, In the middle of a dream,
(05:46):
you whispered, I love you.The tenderness hall. It took my
breath away in the middle of it. I stood there before you. The
(06:06):
word d join all I could say. Rumble died, My hopes were heaven
bound, my troubles were passed.Did I felt that I had found my
(06:29):
future at last? But as strangeas it may see, my heart was
mistaken. Why did I away?Come in the middle of a dream?
(07:04):
But as strange as it may see, my heart wasn't a station. Why
did I away in a middle adream? That was Jeannette singing in the
(07:34):
middle of a dream, and verypretty too. Stay read. What's this
other news department for starting tonight?Well, it's called a slice of life.
It's a short play lit of thingsthat happen in everyday life, things
that you do and that I do. In fact, everybody doing. What's
the first one about? Well,tonight we present the case of a very
bashful boy who's taking his girl homethings. He's only known her for about
(07:54):
three years now. He's never kissedthe girl, but he's always wanted to.
Night night, you said the scenebelt okay, rest the time ten
thirty the place somewhere in your cities. A boy and girl are just approaching
(08:15):
the steps of the girl's home.Well here we are. Got you home
early, didn't I? Yes?And I had a lovely time. You
like the show? It was goodgood? Yeah? Well well look yeah,
I like that theater over there.I like those old pictures they show
what was the name of the onesand night Let's see it was strange in
(08:35):
or tube or something like that.Well, I gotta go now, I
gotta get up early in the morning, go get my relief check cashed.
The launch is gonna oh, well, good night. Well just a moment,
I've got something to ask you.If you don't mind, yes,
what, well, it's nothing much? Well what is it? Well?
(08:56):
Would you mind fight? Well?That is gee? You have pretty tea?
Are the youys? I mean?I meant to say, do you
washing me yourself? Or do youjust send them out? I'm hey,
who's out there? It's richer thanme? Dad? Oh him again?
(09:16):
If we just got homes in thetheater, I'll be in in a few
minutes, all right, tonight,bop, don't you pop me? Or
I'll come down there and pop you. You wouldn't find time to be coming
home waking pooked up, talking loudenough to wake up the dead. See
how come your dad don't like me? Can I help it? If I
belong to the window washers Association insteadof the Janitor's League. You know we
(09:41):
all can't be street cleaners like him. You know he doesn't hold that against
you. No, what is it? Well, he just doesn't think of
have any get out. He thinksyou're too shy. Oh yeah, is
that all of ail him? Yes? Now what were you going to ask
me? Well? Would you mindit? Would to fight? Kissed you
(10:01):
good night? Actually? How abouta kiss? How about a smoothie?
Well? What's the matter you dad? But what's the matter? Are you
paralyzed? No? You mean Ican have one? Oh gee, I've
wanted to do this for a longtime. You won't hate me for it?
(10:22):
In the morning. You won't tellanybody? Know you know how those
things spread? Well? There itcomes. Where did you learn to kiss
like that? Oh? I eata lot of spaghetti? See? Am
(10:43):
I the first fellow you ever?Kids? Uh? Huh? But you
know what's a funny thing? What'sfunny? All of the fellows asked me
that same question. Look, that'swhat I wanted to ask you about.
I know you've got a lot offellows crazy about you. All that.
Would you marry me? What?Of course? I know I'm not much
to look at. Well that's allright. You'd be working all day,
(11:09):
then you'll marry me. I'll betyou ask all the girls to marry you.
No, I don't either. Ionly ask one other girl to marry
me. But when I told herI had a rich uncle, what happened
a week later? She was myrich aunt? See when do you when?
Do you think we could tell thefolk? I should get some sleep.
If you don't time, I'm comingdad. Just what you start to
(11:31):
do with all? Something has towake you up. Well, I've got
to go in now. Yoh couldI have another kids? No, not
tonight, I'm too tired. WellI'm tired to come on. Give me
another little kids, wall I comeon, just one little kids and I'll
go home and get some sleep.You're gonness sake. And they give the
guy a kiss and we'll all getsome sleep. Bob Strong and the boys
(12:24):
of one of the nation's top kunWhite Sails, ladies and gentlemen, Red
(14:26):
Skelton has started a new service tothe public called Send Out Skelton. He's
the last of the Jack of alltrades, and he'll do anything anywhere,
anytime. In fact, he'll doanybody. Here he is in his new
office of his secretary, Edna Stilwell. Oh you see, miss still Well.
It's all very simple. If somebodywants to say he offered me a
job, he just calls me upand I take his job over for the
day. How do I make myselfplay? Not only play, but simple?
(14:48):
Yeah, that's a great idea.Though. You know, I'm known
as the Jack of all trades.Didn't you ever learn any particular place?
But I wish I had, ButI'd learned some trades to say, I
know what kind of work I Igotta I'll take that. Hello, this
is to Send Out Skelting service.Yes, do you want me to substitute
(15:09):
for you as a mountain claiming guyas well, old ballie, I'll be
right over. Oh sure, I'llbe right out. Or you a mountain
climber. Sure, I'm a terrificmountain climber. Yeah. Why every flight
of stairs a climbing need artificial respiration. Hell, don't you worry about me?
Now, you stay here and takecare of the office. They want
me to be up there right away, So I gotta get over the old
(15:30):
eagle balls. I must be allAnd now, ladies and gentlemen, we
take you up on the slopes ofOld Baldy where Red Skelton is leading a
party of summer hotel guests on amountain climbing expedition. And here's a great
mountain climber. Now sure, well, I guess we better stop hearing rest
(15:54):
while I know you almost be prettytalking. Oh well, I knew you'd
all be tired. Say where thosetwo staves from our dogs I brought along?
Say what of them got a littlekeg of brandy under his neck?
And so in case somebody gets lostwhile we're Randon's than the other keg gingerrell
and ice cube. Did you seethe dogs? Well, yes, that
(16:18):
man with the red nose, theslame with them. He'd pretend that he
was lost and the dogs had goand find him. He certainly he's a
playful guy in it. Oh hedidn't outdown I saw, and he was
playful of the Gus asked missus Gaudy. I don't wish you didn't have those
dogs. Them on and they makeme nervous. Oh, you don't have
(16:40):
to worry about those, mister football. They won't bite you. They bark
a lot, but they won't biteyou. Oh well, I start right
then, But why not. We'vebought the feet off of my trouser and
he's just well, come on,let's get over. Let's see. I
think I'll take this trail it,No, we'll take this which one is?
Look over there's a gypsy camp,folks. I'll go over and see
if they give us the directions tobe coming around the mountain gypsy or miss
(17:04):
gypsy, Miss gypsy? There wasthe trouble of your bis so kindly,
well, I'm looking for a gypsy. It happened to be addressing none other
than this Rose Levy. Gypsy RoseLevy, Well, look, could you
tell me which trail I take upto the old eagle bowl. But personally
(17:26):
by reading the palm at the fish, you should crossing my palm with a
silver half dollar cash. Oh Ihalf a dollar? My mind, such
a stingy pant sick o. LookI give anybody the shirt off of my
back, so who'd wears? I? Look, let's been reading my laundry.
(17:48):
So here's a half a dollar?Come on? How go? I?
Well, well, such a quincident. Poll. I'm looking back behind
you, and I see a signwhich says to old baldy. Yeah,
but you charged me a half abuck to show me something that's right in
plain sight. Well like the milkbed. I'm only trying to squeeze out
the life. Okay, goodbye,miss Jips, so long fill Okay,
(18:14):
okay, let's go. Boy,what a dame. I've heard of mediums.
I've heard of happy mediums. Thefirst time I ever ran across the
slap happy medium, say, misterscout. They tell me there's some big
mosquitoes up here. Big. Theygive you an idea how big the mosquitoes
are. Do you see that storkover there? Yeah? Oh, that
ain't no stork. It's pretty wildcountry though. My just this morning near
(18:38):
the hotel. My uncle shot awildcat in his pajamas, and it's a
jama Do you suppose the wildcat gotin there? Mister Skelton, I just
got a mosquito bike. Don't leta little thing like a mosquito bite bother
you. Oh well, I knowI shouldn't complain, but it's ratting on
(18:59):
the place where I got the poison. Ivy comes my sunburned. Oh here
we are, folks fight on theedge of ole. George's gorge. Oh
that's gorgeous. Go I never expectto see him more. Oh I'm silent.
Good come around sometime and watch meeat. Well, everybody ready to
(19:19):
go back? Nerves? No,no, wait a minute, now,
just a moment. Don't try toturn me back. We must the walks.
Hey, look on, there's awood chopper. Well are you a
woodman? Well, I ain't afuller brush. A thank you Lee the
lumberjacks. Oh yes, mister Skelton. And I'm getting ragged, getting rugged.
(19:44):
But if I can just keep goingon this job, I'll have muscles
on my ear. Well, howdo you like your job, Ricky?
Well, I don't know. Yesterdaywas my first day and I started out
just full of old ned I stoppedthe shot, and tree after tree succumb
to my might. But what Ithought was a successful day turned out to
(20:04):
be something awful. What happened?I chopped down nineteen telegraph poles? But
what are you doing up on oldbaldy. Oh we're just climbing up to
the peak. Well you want tobe awful, careful of those rocks.
I slipped and splid down a slopeyesterday and was thy land spray. Well
(20:30):
we'll be senior Hurkeey. We gottapush along though, Okay, missus Skelton.
I gotta get back to work anyway. I'm working on Christmas trees now,
and there's only one hundred and tenshopping days till Christmas. Good old
Hurkey he's always whittling. While hewas look and mountains goes leaping from crag
(20:55):
to crags. Imagine that that gotto it? YEA like to see you
jump around like that on canned food. Oh here we are, folks.
This is a cliff number two.This is Edwards Cliff, Say Skelting.
What's that camp down there in thevalley. That's a government camp. We're
just a thousand feet above it.Imagine that a thousand feet above a c
(21:15):
see sea level. Oh oh,look, I can see the hotels through
these steal glasses. Why people downin the hotel look just like little dogs
bucks. Let's see. Ah,you're looking in a bedroom window. Come
on, let's take a look inthis cave. Huh oh, my awful
(21:37):
dark in there. I'll go inwith you. Okay, it's kind of
dark in here. He's he athing in here. Are you scared?
Well, I'm kind of scared.Well that's a heaven say throw your arms
around my neck. No, I'mnot that scared. Look you better go
back. I'll go in a lotsteel nerves skelton, that's me? Or
(22:00):
is it will that you missed pole? Can that be a bear? No,
it's probably just my imagination. I'llreach around here. My imagination has
got a fur coato. Hey,if you're a bear, growl again.
That's all I want to know.A bear? Hountains follow me on one
(22:26):
side. Brother, I'm way aheadof it. I can't go any for
it. Come on and get me, mister bear. Why the bear never
even came out of the cave.I know it all the time. Man,
I'm just a little trick of mineto get you to finish the trip
up the top of Old Bawdy.And isn't it beautiful? Look at that
(22:48):
view? See how beautiful down therein the valley. Oh it's beautiful down
there. You folks think it's beautifuldown there. Oh it's wonder full off,
it's so beautiful down there. Whatdo you want to come up here?
For? One of the finest songsever, Inspired by the romance and
(23:15):
drama of the Western Plains, KurtMassey and the Avalon Cars sing, boots
and saddles, Take me back tomy boo some saddle. Let me see
(23:47):
that general store, Let me rideaway, give me my boo and saddle.
Let me ramble along the Perrie,roping steers on Old Bay with my
(24:26):
buddy Slim Manta. Give me myboom and saddle and Incanca moon, Take
(24:56):
me back to my boo some saddle. Let me greet each blades and more
(25:18):
on the land for ivan's more,Give me my boom and saddle, Ladies
(26:03):
and gentlemen. Just before the broadcastto Night I was talking to Roger the
fiddle player. I asked him ifhe smoked Avalon cigarettes, and he said,
and when he said yes. Iasked him what he really thought of
them. He replied, that's right. You'd never guess they cost you less,
And ladies and gentlemen, you'd neverguess. Avalons cost you less three
(26:26):
to five cents less per pack thanother posular price brands because their quality through
and through union, made from thevery finest Turkish and domestic tobaccos that money
can buy, blended just right togive you a smoke that's unsurpassed in smoothness,
mildness, and mellow flavors. Andremember, you get this superior quality
(26:48):
cigarette for three to five cents less. Now is it any wonder that millions
upon millions of value? Why smokersare switching to Avalons? Why don't you
give them a trial? You geta pack tonight? Well, dell,
(28:45):
it looks like it's time to lockher up and put her away. Yes,
sir, tempt really fidgets, doesn'tit? Oh? Yes, stay
read? Is this sandel skelting serviceof yours really on the up and up?
Chur? It's on the up andup. At last, I found
a job that deserves me. Well, how about your headline, holkom and
your slice of life? I likethose features and how about some more next
week? Oh, I think Ican be prevailed upon. Good Night,
(29:07):
Dell, good night. Everybody willsee you next week. Remember, friends,
during the week, when you askfor avalons, don't forget your change
all travel. Yes, you'd neverguess, but avalons cost only ten cents
(29:33):
plus city or state fact. Bewith us next Saturday evening at the same
time when the Brown and Williams andTobacco Corporation will again present avalon Knive Delle
King speaking good night word on thisprogram long, I'm sorry, I hold
(29:59):
myself, I'm second tender. Havea long time canting from our department studio.
This is the National Broadcasting Couple.Oh w E A F New York,
(30:27):
w E A F New York
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Law & Order: Criminal Justice System - Season 1 & Season 2
Season Two Out Now! Law & Order: Criminal Justice System tells the real stories behind the landmark cases that have shaped how the most dangerous and influential criminals in America are prosecuted. In its second season, the series tackles the threat of terrorism in the United States. From the rise of extremist political groups in the 60s to domestic lone wolves in the modern day, we explore how organizations like the FBI and Joint Terrorism Take Force have evolved to fight back against a multitude of terrorist threats.