June 6, 2024 • 29 mins
Please enjoy Trouble With the Lan a great episode of the legendaryAvalon Time radio show - A Classic Old Time radio Show - OTR
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:05):
W E A F New York eightthree pm, b U l O v
A Boulevar Watch Time Bull A giftof a lifetime, A back of Avalon
(00:26):
cigarettes. Please yes, sir,justin moment, sir, don't forget your
change. You'd never guess, butAvalon's cost you less. Why Good evening,
(00:46):
friends, Good evening. This isdel King saying welcome to Avalon Time,
featuring radio's redheaded ragamuffin, Richard redSkelton with Dick todd Edna Stillwell,
Bud Hercules band over the Avalon court, and Bob Strong and his Orchestra opened
the program with an apple for theteacher and problems with starmakers. Avalon cigarettes
(02:49):
cost three to five cents less perpactthan other popular price brands, but that
saving comes to you as an extrabecause Avalons are guaranteed unsurpassed in quality.
Their union made from a perfect blendof choice Turkish and domestic tobaccos. In
fact, you couldn't get finer qualitytobaccos in any other cigarette, regardless of
(03:10):
price, regardless of brand. Truly, Avalons are the cigarette by of today.
So the next time, try Avaloncigarettes and save the difference. It
took Billy Rose and the bevy ofbathing beauties to make a gorgeous spectacle of
(03:31):
the World's fair. It took twofootball squads and seventy six thousand people to
make a mighty spectacles a Yankee Stadium. But on avalon time, it only
takes one man to make a greaterspectacle of himself. Red Scouting, Ah,
thank you very much. In goodevening, ladies and gentlemen. Saint
(03:53):
Dell. Speaking of football, ArmySuld put up a terrific battle at the
Yankee Stadium last Saturday against Notre No. Why not read? After all,
the Yankee Stadium is the American League'sdemogno line. They What a loud speaking
system they have there? Every timea National League fan shows up and automatically
(04:14):
plays taps. What a football game? What excitement? Bodies fades and perspiration,
women screaming at the top of theirlungs, and strong men trampled under
foot. I'll wait a minute,Red, Was that a football game or
bargain day in Macy's basement? There'sfootball now? What a reception I got
when I entered the stadium. Twocadets jumped on my back and start racing
(04:38):
me up and down the sideline.They thought I was the army mule.
I wouldn't have mind it, butthey rode me side saddles. My uncle
was with me. You know,he really knows football strategy, that guy.
Every time the team went into puntformation, he went into punt formation.
The score wasn't the only thing thatwas tight. I used to be
(05:00):
a football player myself, Dell,you did, Yeah, I played with
the Vince fans Icky, how doyou think I got this space? One
day while I was playing, Istarted a lateral pass. Tackler broke through
the line, lunched with a straightarm, and intercepted my puss. I'll
never forget the time I held aball for a place kick. I turned
my back to the stand, thenI turned my back to the line,
(05:23):
and then the ball snapped and Iturned my back to the kicker. At
the last time I ever do thatwith a near sighted BULLPI. Well,
it looks like I'm bitched, folks. Here comes Zick God carrying the ball
for dear old Avalon take it.Dick Lilac's in the rains. I heard
(05:47):
a Robin sing day sprange job acrawl, and there I go again.
It seems find you here in mydream. I see Liland in the rain.
(06:21):
Brand you are with me again.When April sprinkles her gree in my
home, when we party in theland to the skies with you for the
(06:46):
brain, the stand of silush remainin my heart. You other on around.
You know, a mother lawn asfalls, you know, but one
(07:14):
long. I get to smile mydarling once in a bar, Remember all,
Lila, That was Dick Tod singingLilacs in the rains. I love
(07:46):
those flower songs, Lilacs, blueorchids, roses and piccarty. I wish
they'd write a song about my favoriteflower. Why is it scouting the corn
flower? Now? It's not acorn flower, Todd, And it's not
a daffy deal either. My favoriteflowers are christ Chris and oh you know,
one of those big yellow jobs.Dang, that would make a nice
(08:07):
song, Big yellow jobs in therain. Hello voice, your song sounded
swell, Dick. Thanks Emma.Yeah see I come. You never say
anything about my boy. Did youever hear a voice like mine? Not
since I gave a hyena hot foot? Speaking of hyamis, how about that
(08:28):
crazy brother yours? That press agentof mine. Imagine brooking me into a
night club where there's so much smokingthe joint AVUW fork lights on the dance
floor. And not only that,I have to challenge the customers to a
fight. Well, uh, howdo you issue your challenges? Read through
a loud speaker? No, throughan a ouiji? Boy got a little
bit, I do not. Theguy I thought last night was plenty tough.
(08:50):
He sure was for a midget.Yeah he was no midget, hadn't
I? Oh no? But howcome on? We had coffee affords every
time? He don't. He's donut. He got his shoulders wet. Go
on in the ring? That guytowered way over me. Well, why
didn't you get up off the floor? I now listen, Just for that,
(09:11):
you walk around the studio five timessaying and don't forget your change.
Come on, get going, startsaying it, okay, teacher, and
don't forget your change. Don't forgetno kidding, man, How did you
really come out in your fight headfirst? I mean? Well, well,
well high still shoot listen. I'vetaken enough from you, Roger.
You're no longer my press agent andmanagers. I can handle my own affairs.
(09:35):
What do you think I am ababy? Don't forget your change.
I know something like that had happenedto her if you stayed around you long
enough. She's gone plug nothing.Yes, I'll never mind that. I'm
not gonna fight anymore. That's allI'm telling you. I'm sill. It's
not argue about this. I wantto tell you how to win your fight.
(09:56):
See, I'm like last night,I kept yelling at you're gonna bring
one up from the floor. Ibrought one up from the floor, but
I didn't think he liked it verymuch. How do you know? He
sent me back down for another one. But I got up. I left
him with my right and I lefthim with my left, and I left.
Who show wasn't any pretty picture whenyou got in your dressing room,
(10:16):
dressing room, wad dressing room.I thought you said that room was gonna
be private. It is private.Didn't it have your name over the door?
Skelton ain't spelled g e nts.Then I'm mean it when I say
I'm true with you. I've gota lawyer coming over here later to break
(10:37):
my contract. Don't get conceded,and I can get comedians like you for
a dime. It doesn't, anddon't forget your change. Now that's enough,
Edna. If that's so long,stooge, I'm going out now to
take care of a guy who triedto break his contract. What are you
gonna do, satchel mouth, Igotta see him in about him more?
Well, he'll find out. WhileI'm waiting for my lawyer to show up.
(10:58):
Bob Strong his orchestra will play aweird hunk of rhythm for jungle drugs.
Wait till you hear it, you'llswear the guy wrote it after too,
I'm friends, did you hear howthe conversation between the well known vent
(13:37):
prolocust Professor Echo and his dummy brokeup his famous act. Well, it
went like this, Hey, professor, could I borrow a cigarette? Why?
Sir? Oh goodness, no,thanks, not that brand. I
smoke Avalon. Oh so you smokeCavalons? Eh? Well that king of
our ax professor, what do youmean? Well, if you smoke cavalons,
(13:58):
you're no dummy. Yes, friends, it's a smart move on anyone's
tark to switch to avalon cigarette.Avalons are guaranteed unsurpassed in quality, but
cost three to five cents less perpack than other popular price brand, A
very worthwhile saving. Try Avalons tonight. You'd never guess they cost you less.
(14:22):
Never were true? Word spoken,Dell King, Say is my lawyer
showing up yet? Not yet read? Say, by the way, is
that nightclub where you work really atough place? Tough? Say? Every
time you pass the place you hearthe roaring twenty one gun and they ain't
saluting anybody, no pooling. That'ssay. That's part of my lawyer.
Now come in. Well, itcertainly took you a long time to get
(14:43):
Are you my lawyer? But Iain't mister technic attorney on it? Jji
Joey day faky ly a counselor atlaw? Oh goodness, yes, that's
just colt. I trail them balemnot to get to the case. Do
you promise to tell the truth,the whole truth, nothing but the truth?
So help you I do? Youmust be not well? No use
(15:07):
herky, I don't think you can. You can't help me, Oh cat,
I why Mester Skeelton. You happento be addressing the great Hercules of
the firm Hercules Atlas Sampson and DelilahHercules Atlas, Sampson, how did Delilah
get in there? Oh graces?You know Sampson though, all but you
(15:28):
should see my record, mister Shelton. Of course I lost my last case,
but that was my mom's fault.By the next time I try a
case, in course, she's gonnalet me dress just like the district attorneys.
How's that she's gonna let me wearlong pants? But boy, as
far as my other cases are concerned, I fixed some my neck. Wait
a minute, herkey, you've alreadymade that point clear. Oh goodness,
(15:48):
So what the way everybody steps onme? No wonder I have an inferiorady,
do play, Okay, I'll giveyou the case. Now, I
want you to break a contact witha phony press agent by the name Roger's
Stillwell. That's Edman's brother. Ohthat autumn Roger Stillwell? Oh good heaven
By, he just hired me tooff pull the contract. This my lucky
day, rookie, Yes them CD, Now I can't possibly lose the case.
(16:15):
Well, I got us to doodlealong with the scout. You see,
I'm gonna get up early tomorrow morningand go out riding in the country.
I'm riding to hounds with some lawyerfriends of mine. Oh, chasing
a fox over the countryside. EhNo, instead of a fox, we
chase an ambulance. Tell you all, that's fine. I'm in a good
thing. Empty pockets, empty future, empty head, which brings us up
(16:37):
to Dick Todd in the avalon course, singing empty saddles one side, tenderfoot,
tenderfoot, and me an eagle scout. There's some's been strange in the
(17:00):
old chrral. There's a breeze ofthe wind has died. Now I'm alone
in the old corral. Seems thereis someone else my son Hampy saddles and
(17:29):
the all corral? Where do youride? Tu? I you round and
up? The dogs? Strange thelong ago? Are you on the trail?
How buffle Hamy saddles in the oldcorral? Where do you rive tune?
(18:00):
Are the rustlers on the border ora band of nob holes? Are
you heading for the album? Andcovered with dogs? Where ham to saddle?
(18:37):
And all corral? My tears wouldbe dry tone if you only say
long as you carry him mile andto staddle in the old empty saddle?
(19:21):
Oh that was really beautiful, saydell, you know where they got the
idea for that song empty saddles nowhere. The guy got the idea watching the
little man who wasn't there riding ahorse. Oh now we've gone to our
slice alive, our playlet about thingsthat really happened, And tonight deals with
the greatest question of the day,how to keep a dog in a small
one room apartment. You set thescene there all right, read the time,
(19:45):
about six thirty pm, the placesomewhere in your hometown. Now the
scene opens, we find Red Skelton, who makes the part of a tired
business man even more tired coming homefrom work. And isn't the stillwell as
the white has been standing over ahot magazine all day. Edna greets him
(20:06):
listening time six minutes and a littlecontrol. Take it care free? Is
that you, darling? No,it's just your husband. You look awfully
tired, dear hot business at thelamba. Oh pretty good. But gee,
no matter how hard I try,I can't seem to get my things
(20:26):
as white as the other fellas do. And look at my hands, I'm
getting ironing board knuckles. By theway, where's the dog. He's over
in the corner digesting your Sunday pants. It's the third pair of my pants.
He's chewed up. Why don't eatyou up a pair of your Why
don't eat you up? From yourthe foor, dial the lint on the
(20:48):
lungs. Don't get excited, dear, remember your foundation. Yeah right,
she. I wish I could getthat dog to like anymore. You know,
I think I will win him overafter scrump him a bone. That's
using your head. He's getting biggerevery day. Probably looks like a horse.
(21:08):
Yeah, he sure is big getscity on the street. He wagged
his tail and knock over three firehydrants. Well, there's one nice thing
about him. He never barked.Yeah, you know, it's a funny
thing. That's the first wire hairedterrier I ever saw that didn't bark.
Well, maybe it should take himback and have him rewired for sound.
Say that Jim Fowley's boys leave anythingtoday? Huh has any mail? Oh?
(21:33):
Yes, there's fourteen bills, Ablack hand note and a threat.
A black hand note and a threat. Yeah, from the coal man and
the landlord. The landlord says,we either get rid of that dog or
we're refugees, a travel all game. Well, he can't do that to
us. I'll I'll think of something. Well, you better turn on the
(21:56):
Einstein cousin. That's him now,all why well? All? Why?
Then? No? Boy must beswinging. Okay, do you mind if
ice squeeze in here? No,but leave the doors and then I makes
it a little crowded when there's threepeople in here. I came up to
(22:18):
see you about that greyhound dog ofyours. Greyhound, funny man, he's
a wire hair tearing. Listen,I know a greyhound when I see one.
Well, you should, old facesay, how do you like that?
Th guy's a fetch up for me? That he was a wire hair.
Now that's the second time he cheatedme. Last week he sold me
a fair of love birds. Itstopped nicking after he heard the voice of
experience. Well, I hate togive me one ultimatum, an ultimate Oh
(22:44):
really, you shouldn't give me oneof those. I don't why at the
sun's brain. He's telling us whereto get off. Oh, as I
was saying, you don't need tohave to get rid of that flea mobilizer
or move Well, that's funny.When we moved in here, you said
it was okay to have it.Door dog gets But that gets more like
a moose every day. Why Iremember when my kids used to carry him
(23:06):
around in their arms. They coolon his back. They do want tell
him to stop it. He's agreyhound dog, not a bus. Besides,
it's your fault. When we movedin here, the place was full
of fleas, and you told usto get something for him. There he
is. I suppose the mice inthe joints. You go out and got
a couple of bats. Now,don't bring your wife into this. No,
(23:30):
listen, sag Wood, what isit? Baby dumpling puts? The
people hownstairs are complaining about that dogpacing up and down the floor all night.
Well, can I help it?If be worried? Okay, you
win, I'm making sleep outside.You wouldn't get well. If you don't
get out, I'll have to throwyou out. Yeah, I stick the
(23:52):
dog on. Yes, what I'lldo. I'll wait till that dog get
here, and then i'll throw youout. One shiit boy, don't get
and I don't mean plays she didyou hear that he parked? Or was
that you? No? I onlyhowl? Oh, now what are you
gonna do? Well? The leastwe can stay here tonight. Then we'll
find a place tomorrow. Hey,is the wolfhound been out for his walk
(24:15):
yet? No? Not yet,And don't look at me. He's your
dog. I don't ask you towalk my gold stace. Okay, I'll
take him up. But where amI gonna do? A bull rebel?
Push season is going out the frontwith him? I think there's an old
exit in the back, and he'sI'll sneak from the back. Where's his
leech? His niche? I don'tknow? Oh, here it is around
my nick I forgot it was myturn to wear it today. You better
(24:38):
peek out in the hall and seeif both push face is gone. Okay,
nobody out here. She got openedup a few of these doors in
the holes, see with those stepson? Oh pardon me, madam,
I'm yeah. I wonder how longshe's been in that closet, see Capitol.
That door leads to an old elevatorshaft us look at you, oh
(25:04):
dear, are you all right?Yeah? I'm okay, But tell us
all to what that first steven precedesladies and gentlemen. Avalons are the largest
(25:26):
selling cigarette in their price class,and there's a mighty good reason for this.
Tremendous preference. Avalons give you popularprice cigarette quality for three to five
cents less per pass. Yes,Avalons cost three to five cents less than
other popular price brands, a repeatedsavings that will net you many extra dollars
(25:48):
in a surprisingly short time. Unexcelledquality, real money saving economy. What
more could you ask from your cigarette? Give Avalons a tonight? By seven?
(28:07):
Here, good strong, well,Dell, it's time to close up
shop again. That's right, Red. Oh come in, Skelton. Yes,
I'm from Washington, you know.Farley says it's okay to go ahead.
Thanks a lot coming. What doyou mean by Farley says it's okay
to go ahead? Oh nothing atall, Dale, I'm just anxious to
get started on my Thanksgiving jokes andI'm going to check up on the right
(28:29):
day. What do you care,Skelton? You have a turkey every Wednesday,
So yours. Good night, everybody, I see you all next week.
Goodbye Now, well, friends,we hope you've enjoyed our show and
be with us next Wednesday night atthe same hour when the Brown and Williams
and Tobacco Corporation again presents Red SkeltonDick todd Edna stillwell, Bob Strong and
his orchest rams, the entire gangat Avalon time. This is del King
(28:52):
speaking reminding you that during the weekwhen you ask for Avalon cigarettes, don't
forget your change. Oh my,yes, you'd never guess, but Avalon
cost only ten cent la city orstate tex
W E A F New York eightthree pm, b U l O v
A Boulevar Watch Time Bull A giftof a lifetime, A back of Avalon
(00:26):
cigarettes. Please yes, sir,justin moment, sir, don't forget your
change. You'd never guess, butAvalon's cost you less. Why Good evening,
(00:46):
friends, Good evening. This isdel King saying welcome to Avalon Time,
featuring radio's redheaded ragamuffin, Richard redSkelton with Dick todd Edna Stillwell,
Bud Hercules band over the Avalon court, and Bob Strong and his Orchestra opened
the program with an apple for theteacher and problems with starmakers. Avalon cigarettes
(02:49):
cost three to five cents less perpactthan other popular price brands, but that
saving comes to you as an extrabecause Avalons are guaranteed unsurpassed in quality.
Their union made from a perfect blendof choice Turkish and domestic tobaccos. In
fact, you couldn't get finer qualitytobaccos in any other cigarette, regardless of
(03:10):
price, regardless of brand. Truly, Avalons are the cigarette by of today.
So the next time, try Avaloncigarettes and save the difference. It
took Billy Rose and the bevy ofbathing beauties to make a gorgeous spectacle of
(03:31):
the World's fair. It took twofootball squads and seventy six thousand people to
make a mighty spectacles a Yankee Stadium. But on avalon time, it only
takes one man to make a greaterspectacle of himself. Red Scouting, Ah,
thank you very much. In goodevening, ladies and gentlemen. Saint
(03:53):
Dell. Speaking of football, ArmySuld put up a terrific battle at the
Yankee Stadium last Saturday against Notre No. Why not read? After all,
the Yankee Stadium is the American League'sdemogno line. They What a loud speaking
system they have there? Every timea National League fan shows up and automatically
(04:14):
plays taps. What a football game? What excitement? Bodies fades and perspiration,
women screaming at the top of theirlungs, and strong men trampled under
foot. I'll wait a minute,Red, Was that a football game or
bargain day in Macy's basement? There'sfootball now? What a reception I got
when I entered the stadium. Twocadets jumped on my back and start racing
(04:38):
me up and down the sideline.They thought I was the army mule.
I wouldn't have mind it, butthey rode me side saddles. My uncle
was with me. You know,he really knows football strategy, that guy.
Every time the team went into puntformation, he went into punt formation.
The score wasn't the only thing thatwas tight. I used to be
(05:00):
a football player myself, Dell,you did, Yeah, I played with
the Vince fans Icky, how doyou think I got this space? One
day while I was playing, Istarted a lateral pass. Tackler broke through
the line, lunched with a straightarm, and intercepted my puss. I'll
never forget the time I held aball for a place kick. I turned
my back to the stand, thenI turned my back to the line,
(05:23):
and then the ball snapped and Iturned my back to the kicker. At
the last time I ever do thatwith a near sighted BULLPI. Well,
it looks like I'm bitched, folks. Here comes Zick God carrying the ball
for dear old Avalon take it.Dick Lilac's in the rains. I heard
(05:47):
a Robin sing day sprange job acrawl, and there I go again.
It seems find you here in mydream. I see Liland in the rain.
(06:21):
Brand you are with me again.When April sprinkles her gree in my
home, when we party in theland to the skies with you for the
(06:46):
brain, the stand of silush remainin my heart. You other on around.
You know, a mother lawn asfalls, you know, but one
(07:14):
long. I get to smile mydarling once in a bar, Remember all,
Lila, That was Dick Tod singingLilacs in the rains. I love
(07:46):
those flower songs, Lilacs, blueorchids, roses and piccarty. I wish
they'd write a song about my favoriteflower. Why is it scouting the corn
flower? Now? It's not acorn flower, Todd, And it's not
a daffy deal either. My favoriteflowers are christ Chris and oh you know,
one of those big yellow jobs.Dang, that would make a nice
(08:07):
song, Big yellow jobs in therain. Hello voice, your song sounded
swell, Dick. Thanks Emma.Yeah see I come. You never say
anything about my boy. Did youever hear a voice like mine? Not
since I gave a hyena hot foot? Speaking of hyamis, how about that
(08:28):
crazy brother yours? That press agentof mine. Imagine brooking me into a
night club where there's so much smokingthe joint AVUW fork lights on the dance
floor. And not only that,I have to challenge the customers to a
fight. Well, uh, howdo you issue your challenges? Read through
a loud speaker? No, throughan a ouiji? Boy got a little
bit, I do not. Theguy I thought last night was plenty tough.
(08:50):
He sure was for a midget.Yeah he was no midget, hadn't
I? Oh no? But howcome on? We had coffee affords every
time? He don't. He's donut. He got his shoulders wet. Go
on in the ring? That guytowered way over me. Well, why
didn't you get up off the floor? I now listen, Just for that,
(09:11):
you walk around the studio five timessaying and don't forget your change.
Come on, get going, startsaying it, okay, teacher, and
don't forget your change. Don't forgetno kidding, man, How did you
really come out in your fight headfirst? I mean? Well, well,
well high still shoot listen. I'vetaken enough from you, Roger.
You're no longer my press agent andmanagers. I can handle my own affairs.
(09:35):
What do you think I am ababy? Don't forget your change.
I know something like that had happenedto her if you stayed around you long
enough. She's gone plug nothing.Yes, I'll never mind that. I'm
not gonna fight anymore. That's allI'm telling you. I'm sill. It's
not argue about this. I wantto tell you how to win your fight.
(09:56):
See, I'm like last night,I kept yelling at you're gonna bring
one up from the floor. Ibrought one up from the floor, but
I didn't think he liked it verymuch. How do you know? He
sent me back down for another one. But I got up. I left
him with my right and I lefthim with my left, and I left.
Who show wasn't any pretty picture whenyou got in your dressing room,
(10:16):
dressing room, wad dressing room.I thought you said that room was gonna
be private. It is private.Didn't it have your name over the door?
Skelton ain't spelled g e nts.Then I'm mean it when I say
I'm true with you. I've gota lawyer coming over here later to break
(10:37):
my contract. Don't get conceded,and I can get comedians like you for
a dime. It doesn't, anddon't forget your change. Now that's enough,
Edna. If that's so long,stooge, I'm going out now to
take care of a guy who triedto break his contract. What are you
gonna do, satchel mouth, Igotta see him in about him more?
Well, he'll find out. WhileI'm waiting for my lawyer to show up.
(10:58):
Bob Strong his orchestra will play aweird hunk of rhythm for jungle drugs.
Wait till you hear it, you'llswear the guy wrote it after too,
I'm friends, did you hear howthe conversation between the well known vent
(13:37):
prolocust Professor Echo and his dummy brokeup his famous act. Well, it
went like this, Hey, professor, could I borrow a cigarette? Why?
Sir? Oh goodness, no,thanks, not that brand. I
smoke Avalon. Oh so you smokeCavalons? Eh? Well that king of
our ax professor, what do youmean? Well, if you smoke cavalons,
(13:58):
you're no dummy. Yes, friends, it's a smart move on anyone's
tark to switch to avalon cigarette.Avalons are guaranteed unsurpassed in quality, but
cost three to five cents less perpack than other popular price brand, A
very worthwhile saving. Try Avalons tonight. You'd never guess they cost you less.
(14:22):
Never were true? Word spoken,Dell King, Say is my lawyer
showing up yet? Not yet read? Say, by the way, is
that nightclub where you work really atough place? Tough? Say? Every
time you pass the place you hearthe roaring twenty one gun and they ain't
saluting anybody, no pooling. That'ssay. That's part of my lawyer.
Now come in. Well, itcertainly took you a long time to get
(14:43):
Are you my lawyer? But Iain't mister technic attorney on it? Jji
Joey day faky ly a counselor atlaw? Oh goodness, yes, that's
just colt. I trail them balemnot to get to the case. Do
you promise to tell the truth,the whole truth, nothing but the truth?
So help you I do? Youmust be not well? No use
(15:07):
herky, I don't think you can. You can't help me, Oh cat,
I why Mester Skeelton. You happento be addressing the great Hercules of
the firm Hercules Atlas Sampson and DelilahHercules Atlas, Sampson, how did Delilah
get in there? Oh graces?You know Sampson though, all but you
(15:28):
should see my record, mister Shelton. Of course I lost my last case,
but that was my mom's fault.By the next time I try a
case, in course, she's gonnalet me dress just like the district attorneys.
How's that she's gonna let me wearlong pants? But boy, as
far as my other cases are concerned, I fixed some my neck. Wait
a minute, herkey, you've alreadymade that point clear. Oh goodness,
(15:48):
So what the way everybody steps onme? No wonder I have an inferiorady,
do play, Okay, I'll giveyou the case. Now, I
want you to break a contact witha phony press agent by the name Roger's
Stillwell. That's Edman's brother. Ohthat autumn Roger Stillwell? Oh good heaven
By, he just hired me tooff pull the contract. This my lucky
day, rookie, Yes them CD, Now I can't possibly lose the case.
(16:15):
Well, I got us to doodlealong with the scout. You see,
I'm gonna get up early tomorrow morningand go out riding in the country.
I'm riding to hounds with some lawyerfriends of mine. Oh, chasing
a fox over the countryside. EhNo, instead of a fox, we
chase an ambulance. Tell you all, that's fine. I'm in a good
thing. Empty pockets, empty future, empty head, which brings us up
(16:37):
to Dick Todd in the avalon course, singing empty saddles one side, tenderfoot,
tenderfoot, and me an eagle scout. There's some's been strange in the
(17:00):
old chrral. There's a breeze ofthe wind has died. Now I'm alone
in the old corral. Seems thereis someone else my son Hampy saddles and
(17:29):
the all corral? Where do youride? Tu? I you round and
up? The dogs? Strange thelong ago? Are you on the trail?
How buffle Hamy saddles in the oldcorral? Where do you rive tune?
(18:00):
Are the rustlers on the border ora band of nob holes? Are
you heading for the album? Andcovered with dogs? Where ham to saddle?
(18:37):
And all corral? My tears wouldbe dry tone if you only say
long as you carry him mile andto staddle in the old empty saddle?
(19:21):
Oh that was really beautiful, saydell, you know where they got the
idea for that song empty saddles nowhere. The guy got the idea watching the
little man who wasn't there riding ahorse. Oh now we've gone to our
slice alive, our playlet about thingsthat really happened, And tonight deals with
the greatest question of the day,how to keep a dog in a small
one room apartment. You set thescene there all right, read the time,
(19:45):
about six thirty pm, the placesomewhere in your hometown. Now the
scene opens, we find Red Skelton, who makes the part of a tired
business man even more tired coming homefrom work. And isn't the stillwell as
the white has been standing over ahot magazine all day. Edna greets him
(20:06):
listening time six minutes and a littlecontrol. Take it care free? Is
that you, darling? No,it's just your husband. You look awfully
tired, dear hot business at thelamba. Oh pretty good. But gee,
no matter how hard I try,I can't seem to get my things
(20:26):
as white as the other fellas do. And look at my hands, I'm
getting ironing board knuckles. By theway, where's the dog. He's over
in the corner digesting your Sunday pants. It's the third pair of my pants.
He's chewed up. Why don't eatyou up a pair of your Why
don't eat you up? From yourthe foor, dial the lint on the
(20:48):
lungs. Don't get excited, dear, remember your foundation. Yeah right,
she. I wish I could getthat dog to like anymore. You know,
I think I will win him overafter scrump him a bone. That's
using your head. He's getting biggerevery day. Probably looks like a horse.
(21:08):
Yeah, he sure is big getscity on the street. He wagged
his tail and knock over three firehydrants. Well, there's one nice thing
about him. He never barked.Yeah, you know, it's a funny
thing. That's the first wire hairedterrier I ever saw that didn't bark.
Well, maybe it should take himback and have him rewired for sound.
Say that Jim Fowley's boys leave anythingtoday? Huh has any mail? Oh?
(21:33):
Yes, there's fourteen bills, Ablack hand note and a threat.
A black hand note and a threat. Yeah, from the coal man and
the landlord. The landlord says,we either get rid of that dog or
we're refugees, a travel all game. Well, he can't do that to
us. I'll I'll think of something. Well, you better turn on the
(21:56):
Einstein cousin. That's him now,all why well? All? Why?
Then? No? Boy must beswinging. Okay, do you mind if
ice squeeze in here? No,but leave the doors and then I makes
it a little crowded when there's threepeople in here. I came up to
(22:18):
see you about that greyhound dog ofyours. Greyhound, funny man, he's
a wire hair tearing. Listen,I know a greyhound when I see one.
Well, you should, old facesay, how do you like that?
Th guy's a fetch up for me? That he was a wire hair.
Now that's the second time he cheatedme. Last week he sold me
a fair of love birds. Itstopped nicking after he heard the voice of
experience. Well, I hate togive me one ultimatum, an ultimate Oh
(22:44):
really, you shouldn't give me oneof those. I don't why at the
sun's brain. He's telling us whereto get off. Oh, as I
was saying, you don't need tohave to get rid of that flea mobilizer
or move Well, that's funny.When we moved in here, you said
it was okay to have it.Door dog gets But that gets more like
a moose every day. Why Iremember when my kids used to carry him
(23:06):
around in their arms. They coolon his back. They do want tell
him to stop it. He's agreyhound dog, not a bus. Besides,
it's your fault. When we movedin here, the place was full
of fleas, and you told usto get something for him. There he
is. I suppose the mice inthe joints. You go out and got
a couple of bats. Now,don't bring your wife into this. No,
(23:30):
listen, sag Wood, what isit? Baby dumpling puts? The
people hownstairs are complaining about that dogpacing up and down the floor all night.
Well, can I help it?If be worried? Okay, you
win, I'm making sleep outside.You wouldn't get well. If you don't
get out, I'll have to throwyou out. Yeah, I stick the
(23:52):
dog on. Yes, what I'lldo. I'll wait till that dog get
here, and then i'll throw youout. One shiit boy, don't get
and I don't mean plays she didyou hear that he parked? Or was
that you? No? I onlyhowl? Oh, now what are you
gonna do? Well? The leastwe can stay here tonight. Then we'll
find a place tomorrow. Hey,is the wolfhound been out for his walk
(24:15):
yet? No? Not yet,And don't look at me. He's your
dog. I don't ask you towalk my gold stace. Okay, I'll
take him up. But where amI gonna do? A bull rebel?
Push season is going out the frontwith him? I think there's an old
exit in the back, and he'sI'll sneak from the back. Where's his
leech? His niche? I don'tknow? Oh, here it is around
my nick I forgot it was myturn to wear it today. You better
(24:38):
peek out in the hall and seeif both push face is gone. Okay,
nobody out here. She got openedup a few of these doors in
the holes, see with those stepson? Oh pardon me, madam,
I'm yeah. I wonder how longshe's been in that closet, see Capitol.
That door leads to an old elevatorshaft us look at you, oh
(25:04):
dear, are you all right?Yeah? I'm okay, But tell us
all to what that first steven precedesladies and gentlemen. Avalons are the largest
(25:26):
selling cigarette in their price class,and there's a mighty good reason for this.
Tremendous preference. Avalons give you popularprice cigarette quality for three to five
cents less per pass. Yes,Avalons cost three to five cents less than
other popular price brands, a repeatedsavings that will net you many extra dollars
(25:48):
in a surprisingly short time. Unexcelledquality, real money saving economy. What
more could you ask from your cigarette? Give Avalons a tonight? By seven?
(28:07):
Here, good strong, well,Dell, it's time to close up
shop again. That's right, Red. Oh come in, Skelton. Yes,
I'm from Washington, you know.Farley says it's okay to go ahead.
Thanks a lot coming. What doyou mean by Farley says it's okay
to go ahead? Oh nothing atall, Dale, I'm just anxious to
get started on my Thanksgiving jokes andI'm going to check up on the right
(28:29):
day. What do you care,Skelton? You have a turkey every Wednesday,
So yours. Good night, everybody, I see you all next week.
Goodbye Now, well, friends,we hope you've enjoyed our show and
be with us next Wednesday night atthe same hour when the Brown and Williams
and Tobacco Corporation again presents Red SkeltonDick todd Edna stillwell, Bob Strong and
his orchest rams, the entire gangat Avalon time. This is del King
(28:52):
speaking reminding you that during the weekwhen you ask for Avalon cigarettes, don't
forget your change. Oh my,yes, you'd never guess, but Avalon
cost only ten cent la city orstate tex
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