June 26, 2025 • 48 mins
From trauma to triumph—join us for a powerful episode of The Awakening with Host Tina Huggins, Divorce & "Narcissist Conflict" Specialist, as she welcomes Carol Metz Murray. Carol, a People Possibility Alchemist, Intuitive Leadership Coach, Advisor, Speaker, and 5-time Author, courageously shares her journey from molestation and spousal abuse to deep healing and empowerment. Her story is one of transformation, strength, and hope. Watch now on NewStreamingNetwork.com.
More About Tina: Tina Huggins, CTA Life Coach certified, CDC Divorce Coach, CDC Transitions Coach, CDC Recovery Coach, TKG Restorative Family Mediator Certified, TKG Family Circle Certified. I have coached for over 30 years coming from the background of law enforcement and self-defense instructor.
Connect with Tina:
Email: coachtinalynn@gmail.com Website: https://divorcecoachspecialist.com/
More about Carol: With leadership, personal and organizational change experience, Carol Metz Murray is a People Possibility Alchemist, Intuitive Leadership Coach, Advisor, Facilitator, Professional Speaker and 5-x Author. She is a mesmerizing communicator, one of those rare individuals that walks her talk. Her gifts of radical presence and listening help build breakthroughs for clients. Her keen sense of life possibilities gained through life experiences of shifts and change lead her through trauma, anxiety, overwhelm and burnout to heart-centered, grounded and unshakeable authenticity galvanizing, aligning and sharing her God given gifts with others.
Connect with Carol:
Email: carol@carolmetzmurray.com Website: https://carolmetzmurray.com/
More About Tina: Tina Huggins, CTA Life Coach certified, CDC Divorce Coach, CDC Transitions Coach, CDC Recovery Coach, TKG Restorative Family Mediator Certified, TKG Family Circle Certified. I have coached for over 30 years coming from the background of law enforcement and self-defense instructor.
Connect with Tina:
Email: coachtinalynn@gmail.com Website: https://divorcecoachspecialist.com/
More about Carol: With leadership, personal and organizational change experience, Carol Metz Murray is a People Possibility Alchemist, Intuitive Leadership Coach, Advisor, Facilitator, Professional Speaker and 5-x Author. She is a mesmerizing communicator, one of those rare individuals that walks her talk. Her gifts of radical presence and listening help build breakthroughs for clients. Her keen sense of life possibilities gained through life experiences of shifts and change lead her through trauma, anxiety, overwhelm and burnout to heart-centered, grounded and unshakeable authenticity galvanizing, aligning and sharing her God given gifts with others.
Connect with Carol:
Email: carol@carolmetzmurray.com Website: https://carolmetzmurray.com/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're listening to WGSNDB Go and Solo Network Singles talk
radio channel, where we take a lighthearted and candidate approach
to discussions on the journey of relationship, laws, divorce, parenting,
being single, relationships, building, dating, and yes sex. Join our
listeners and begin living your best life.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Hello and welcome to my show The Awakening here on WGSNDB,
the Going Bold and Going Solo Network. The information and
opinions expressed on this show are just that, the opinions
of the individual speaking based on their personal and individual experiences.
They are not intended to diagnose and do not constitute
(00:47):
professional advice or recommendations. So you know, the pain, the stress,
the struggle that the divorcing people, divorcing men and women
go through, that's what I do. I help them find
peace and sanity and assist their lawyer in the legal process.
This saves them thousands of dollars because it shortens the
(01:08):
time of their divorce. My name is Tina. I'm your
divorce coach, specialist, divorce planning specialist, restorative family mediator and
confliction co parenting coach. And thank you for joining me
and I'm joined. I'm graced today with Carol Murray. She
is an awesome person, so I'm going to kind of
tell you a little bit about her. She's with leadership,
(01:31):
personal and organizational change experience. Carol Mets Murray is a
personal possibility alchemist in intuitive leadership, coach, advisor, facilitator, and
professional speaker and five times author. She is a She
(01:53):
is a mesmerizing communicator, and I can tell you she
truly is listening and building breakthroughs with her clients. Her
keen sense of life possibilities gained through life experiences of
shifts and changes led her through trauma, anxiety, overwhelm and
(02:16):
burnout to heart centered, grounded and unshakable authenticity. She's a
ligne and sharing her message that God has given her
to share with others. My notes got all kind of
messed up there. So I want to welcome you, Carol,
(02:39):
and so thank you very much for being here with
us today.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Well, thank you so much Tina for having me on
your podcast. I'm delighted to be here with you and
spend time with you.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
I can tell you are one of the rare people
in my life that I get to talk to, that
I get to sit on this wonderful pedestal and look up.
Because what you've experienced in your life, I experienced after you.
So it's like I've been following in your tracks all
this time. So I find that a special place for me.
(03:15):
I know the last time that we talked, I know
it brought me to tears because we were just right
there together and you talk to me a little bit
about the trauma that you experienced. So for our listeners,
can we start with you telling the trauma that you.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Experienced, Yes, we can start. Trauma for me began at
a very early age. I was sexually abused by a
neighbor and that went on for six years. No one
(03:55):
would believe me that this was happening, and as that
little girl, what I did was I closed my heart
because I just, you know, I just felt that my
voice didn't didn't matter. However, there was also a part
(04:19):
of me that wasn't going to kind of be slowed
down and stopped, and that's really what kept me moving forward.
But those are the trauma that I experienced, and that
feeling of not fitting in and not being heard did
(04:43):
impact me as I built relationships and grew, and as
a result, I stepped into a very violence filled marriage,
and I will share with everyone because it's interesting you
(05:03):
would ask me this question, Tina, because I was thinking
about this this morning and stepping into that violence filled
marriage on my wedding day. I intuitively knew I was
making the biggest mistake of my life, but I went
(05:28):
ahead with it. Now as a result, I have four
beautiful children, but in essence, they've paid the price with me. Oh,
I couldn't get emotional. And the violence was was well,
(05:55):
the violence was violent from sertainy, yelling and being punched,
and then it escalated to being strangled. And that happened
to me twice. And I will just I thank God
(06:15):
that I had enough strengthen me when it was happening
to do some body moves that got me, got me
out of the stranglehold. And I mean the first time
it happened, my husband at that point looked at me
(06:39):
in horror and stormed off, but that didn't stop him
that you know, I don't know what was going on
inside of him. And then it just really really began
to escalate after that. And one of the things, one
(07:04):
of the many things that transpired was that if I
was outside working in say the strawberry farm that we had,
or out in the yard and he would drive into
(07:25):
the yard with a half ton with his truck. He
would actually chase me. And so there were many a
time that I had to outrun this half ton and
you know, outrun it from the perspective that if I didn't,
(07:46):
I was going to get hit. So for many years
after leaving and divorcing, yes, I had PTSD. Every time
I saw a gray vehicle, I froze, but that, you know,
only escalated some more. And you know, I knew, I
(08:10):
knew in my heart of hearts that I needed to leave.
And I don't know what it is about someone, including me,
that we stay in relationships that aren't healthy. It wasn't,
as I said early, it wasn't healthy for me, and
it wasn't healthy for my children. But it got to
(08:33):
the point where I did ask for a divorce. It
just said I'm leaving and I'm divorcing. So I guess
an essence, that wasn't an ask, it was, I'm telling you.
What then transpired was me coming face to face with
(08:56):
a gun. He was pointing a gun in my face,
and I just went, oh my god silently, and he
looked at me and he said, there's only one way
that I can deal with this is to shoot you,
and then I'll kill myself. And I looked at him,
(09:22):
I said, what are you thinking? There are four children here,
and how will they be impacted? And he just looked
at me, and deep inside of me, I knew I
(09:46):
needed to really really be able to move through this
and talk them out of it, because the you know, yeah,
the trauma that the children were going to be impacted
(10:10):
by was you know, it was well, it's just I
can't imagine. So I calmed and internally I calmed down
and I just quietly began to talk with him. Don't
(10:31):
ask me what I said, because I don't I don't recall,
but I quietly, quietly kind of soothed him, and he
eventually lowered the gun and he looked at me and
(10:54):
he said, what have I done? And I said, you
will have to figure that out yourself, and he stormed off. Ah.
I was beyond shock, but I knew then that it
(11:19):
was I needed to get out, and I needed to
get out with my children, not now, but right now,
and so we did. That wasn't the last incident. I
then I left. I filed for divorce and on. I
(11:48):
think it was Thursday afternoon. I'm sitting at work and
my office was at the back of the building. It
was five o'clock. Everyone else had left, and generally, when
(12:12):
you know it was the practice was when you leave,
you lock the front door. And I thought everyone was gone,
and I was busy working at my desk on a project,
and I felt that there was something in the room
and I looked up and there he was, and I
(12:39):
just froze. I was like, oh my god, I'm the
only one here, and knowing what he was capable of,
I just went, oh my god, calm down, Carol, because
(12:59):
my heart was racing. And he starts screaming at me
and hollering, this is all your fault. If you came
back to me, none of this would be happening, and
on and on and on. And I looked at him
because he was standing and I was sitting. I said,
(13:22):
I'm not coming back, We are not coming back. Please leave,
and he lunged at me and he grabbed my throat
again and started to squeeze, and he squeezed and squeezed,
and oh my god, what am I going to do?
(13:43):
What I please help me? And he was obviously, I mean,
very very angry, and in this particular case, what saved
me was my right elbow because he was standing over me.
(14:11):
But I was able to even though the breath was
being squeezed out of me, I was able to bring
my elbow and elbow him in the groin. And somebody
actually must have been helping me, because I hit a
very soft spot and when I hit his groin, he
(14:34):
released me. And the look of anger and rage on
his face was something I've never forgotten. And he goes
storming out and he turns and he looks at me.
This is all your fault. You're all to blame. And
(14:59):
I just sat there and just said, please God, get
him out of the building. And he did. He went
tearing out, and I did hear the door close, and
this wow, wow, thank you. It took me quite some
(15:23):
time to move through all of that trauma, a good
number a good number of years. But also one of
the things that I did with a lot of that
trauma was I stuffed it down because Carol was strong,
(15:51):
and Carol could handle all of this, except Carol's body
said no more, you have to deal with all of this,
and that happened about a year and a half after
I left and got my divorce, and that's a whole
(16:17):
another story of releasing trauma and getting into the heart
of the matter, and that was where Naked Leadership was born.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
So for those of you viewers that just heard Carol's
story and by the way it brought me to tears,
to Carol, there are some of us that are in
those abusive relationship right now, and so a couple of
things that happened here that maybe Carol's story and we
(16:53):
can prevent you with this information from going through what
she did. So when it's time for you to get
out of that relationship, which you will need to, don't
say a word to them. You need to put together
an exit plan, a safe exit plan, and inside that
exit plan is an emergency exit plan. Those are things
(17:14):
that I help my clients with, but you need to
never say a word to them. The most dangerous time
in any relationship is the moment you go to leave it.
And the abuse that happened in my marriage always happened
when I was going to leave the fight. I ended
up with a broken hand and separated ribs and finally
(17:35):
a dislocated leg and through all of the course of
all of that. It all came about, like I said,
every time I would go to leave, just the fight,
not the marriage. And what you heard Carol talk about
was that she told him she was going to leave
and then the gun ended up. That's exactly the way
(17:56):
that those will happen. You don't ever speak about, don't
write about it, don't talk about it to anybody, but
who's safe? Because this situation can end up like this?
And I really wish I didn't have to tell you.
This is the only time I've ever heard of somebody
getting a gun pulled on them. But this is something
that happens on a semi regular basis to those of us,
(18:19):
women or men in some cases, that are in situations
that we know we need out so when it's time,
you need to seek help to help put that emergency
plan together, the exit plan together, and get help to
get out of there and have a safe place to go.
And at some point we'll actually sit and talk about that.
(18:41):
But where Carol was at and what she went through,
so many of us go through to get where we're at,
and Carol's time frame we were taught she's a little
bit older than me, But we were taught as women
that once we say I do, we stay and we
stick it out. And so many many people I see
comments on my posts where they say, well, all you
(19:04):
have to do is pray about it, or it's just
words when they yell at you, it's not it's not
just words. And eventually those words end up to be
things thrown at you. Eventually those things become fists or
belts around your neck or guns in your face. My
own father was shot at on more than one occasion.
So it's not just us women who go through this.
(19:26):
Men also go through the same type of abuse. Men
also go through the same type of abuse that Carol
and myself did when we're young, and we get molested boys,
young children. Doesn't matter what sex they are, they can
go through this. And the one thing I can tell you,
(19:46):
like with Carol's story, Carol's story is like she told
people and people didn't want to believe her, and that's
the case. That was my case too, And I didn't
tell my story until I was way older, and my
own mother didn't believe me, and I was an adult.
I was in my thirties when I told her the story.
(20:08):
And that's the point when we hear our children tell
us that we need to keep our words to ourself
because we don't want to take their words for less
than what they really are. Keep your words to yourself.
Get help for the child, and get help for yourself
(20:28):
to process this. Now, Carol went you went through all
of this, this trauma, and it took you years, So
kind of tell us how you went through all that
and where you're at now, because you said it birthed
your work now, so kind of explain how that happened.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
Yes, it was some forty years of going through trauma.
And may I just interject just before I before I
tell that when you talk about as and thank you
for sharing what you have shared with your listeners. My
(21:10):
childhood abuse, the sexual abuse. It took nearly fifty years
until I had it validated when I met an old
(21:31):
school friend many years later in Vancouver, BC, and we
began to talk, and out of her mouth came I
was sexually abused and I just eyed eden who was
a perpetrator. And it was the same person that was
(21:54):
a perpetrator to me. So to everyone listening, you just
never know when some of that information may very well
come forward. So never ever give up hope. But my
journey and through the trauma came to a head. And
(22:22):
I was living in the Far North at the time,
in the Yukon, working my dream dream job, and I
was also at the same time working on my master's degree,
which meant that I had to drive five hundred kilometers
(22:44):
one way from Dawson to Whitehorse, so it was a
thousand mile trip or return trip. And I did that
for two years on top of being a workaholic and
working long hours and just constantly giving and going. And
(23:07):
on my last on my last day of my last course,
on my way to white Horse, I drove three hundred
of those five hundred kilometers consciously, unconscious. And when I
(23:27):
came out of that in total, total panic because I
didn't know where I was. I couldn't even comprehend that
I had a steering wheel in my hands and here
I was driving on this road and it was scary,
(23:48):
beyond scary, because I mean I could have driven off
of the road, and in the Yukon, the ditches aren't
two or three feet deep their mountain sides, and I was, yeah,
beyond beyond scared, like just beyond scared. And I knew something,
(24:15):
something huge was going on inside of me. When I
got to my destination, I called my doctor and my
doctor said, Carol, either you deal with this or I'll
(24:35):
make you deal with this. You've been living high stress
all of your life. Your body is shutting down. That, Tina,
was all I needed to hear because in that split second,
or those few seconds of thinking, what would my children
(25:01):
do if I had driven off the road and killed myself,
you know, in a vehicle accent? What would they do?
They may, you know, they may be in self sufficient,
but Carol, that's not a way to live your life.
(25:22):
And so it was in that moment courage stepped forward
and said, Carol, make a decision and make it now,
like right now. And at that moment, those seconds, I
knew I needed to change my life and I needed
(25:45):
to discover who I was because the Carol that I
was really wasn't me. I had put so many barriers
up and so many glass walls and so many masks.
I needed to discover who I was. And let me
(26:08):
tell you, I mean that was a very dark point
in my life because my mental health wasn't tatters, my
physical health wasn't tatters, and as a result of of
(26:28):
my health being what it was, and I lost I
lost my dream job, and so there I was unemployed.
But the gift, the one gift that came through all
of that, and I can smile because a little boy
(26:48):
said to me, you will write your thesis, and you
will have your thesis in by the time and by
the date that it needs to be in. I really
don't know how I wrote my thesis given the shape
that I was in, I really don't. But I did
(27:10):
get it done in the three months and it was.
It was actually when I got it on the fax
machine to the University of It was at South Southeast
University in Juno, Alaska. Off it went, and I mean
(27:36):
it was just like wow. And that was then I
walked across the hall at the college where I was
and picked up the newspaper for all of the Yukon
and it fell open. And you know how synchronicities happened
when a messages are supposed to come. It fell open
(27:59):
and on the right hand side, on the bottom half
of the newspaper, that was where my job was advertised.
Nobody had said anything to me, and yes it was.
I was no longer the CEO for the City of Dawson,
(28:19):
and I was like, oh my, it was just like
what do I do? What do I do now? So
that was my gift. That was my gift for graduating
my master's program and the burnout. However, the journey then
(28:45):
began to discover who I was, and it wasn't a
quick journey. It took many different twists and turns to
release all of the trauma. And yes, when it started
to release, some of the releases were like tornadoes and hurricanes.
(29:13):
Other releases were quiet reigns. And for me and my
body was I needed to find ways to release that
would work for my body. And what I mean by that, Tina,
was I attempted psychotherapy and in the second session I
(29:40):
could feel things were not silent in my body and
I looked at the psychotherapist and I said, I'm leaving.
I need to leave now. And she looked at me
and she said, well, what have I done wrong? And
(30:00):
I said, this isn't about you, This isn't about you
at all. This is about me, and my body is
telling me I need to get out of here because
if I don't, I will be just kind of erupting everywhere.
And I said, my body needs to move. That's the
(30:22):
message that I'm getting. And I left and then I
said to myself, Okay, so now what. And so my
journey of healing was a lot of energy work, a
lot of movement, some through dance, just dance that helped
(30:47):
me move my body in different ways to release the
various traumas. And the more I released in my body,
the more that my mind also cleared out. And I,
you know, I continue on my journey and I refer
(31:08):
to it now as self image adjustments because it's as
I the more I released, the more I opened my heart.
And the more I opened my heart, the more I
was able to use my voice. And for me, that
is that is what worked and continues to work.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
So it's so yeah, I kind of want to interject
something for the viewers. What Carol's talking about here relates
to mind body medicine and in natural health. This is
a point of healing in the process where where once
our brain is done with experiencing the trauma or the incident,
(31:55):
it will store it someplace in our body and specific
places get certain memories. But what Carol's saying here that
if you do not take care of this, your body
will force you to take care of it. You'll get cancer,
you'll get ulcers, you'll get migrains, you'll have hearing issues,
you'll have eyesight problems. Just a one for incidents. Just recently,
(32:19):
I had a client where they said, I woke up
and my right eye was messed up. And so we
talked briefly and I said, so, let me tell you
what my body medicine says about the right eye. That
you don't like. Something that's going on with your family
and it's work related. And after I told her that,
(32:39):
she says, oh my god, that hits it right on.
We hired my brother. He's not working out at our job,
and now I have to release him. If you are
dealing with trauma, like what Carol has spoke about, it's
inside your body if you don't, and movement is huge.
Carol is so right about that. Talk is good, but
(33:01):
that only gets half of it out. The other half
is stored and needs some physical work to make that happen.
Speaker 3 (33:07):
So go ahead and finish, Carol. So in in my
journey forward and that discovery of me and learning all
about who I am, I mean, there's aspects of me
(33:32):
that you know, for example, leadership. I have always been
in leadership, but I started my leadership training at the
age of five when my dad on the farm said
to me, Carol, you need to learn how to lead
(33:53):
the horses and the turkeys. And we could talk about
that for another two or three hours, but that was
an essence, a foundation of who I was. All the
traumas weren't and for me, the more I healed, the
(34:14):
more that that came forward. The more I healed, the
more that the gift of words came forward that I
was able and am able to share with others as
a professional speaker, and those words just the messages come
through me. And so those are the gifts that come
(34:38):
as as a result of my healing, but my healing
not but my healing also really demonstrated to me that
Utina and I, Carol, and you're all of your listeners.
Everyone is a leader in your own life because you
(35:03):
lead your own life. When you choose to or don't
lead your life, things can happen and things will happen.
So really that the whole aspect of naked leadership is
really getting to the core of who you are and
(35:28):
with all of the the healing that I've done. What
I've also discovered is that it's it's never over. And
I've realized that your healing and growing continues until you
(35:48):
take your last breath, really and truly, and it's just yeah,
it is. It is just so so amazing. But I
will also share with everyone in this journey, no one,
(36:10):
and I say this to both women and men, no
one has the right to hurt you. No one. And
as I was going through this journey, there came a
point where someone said to me, well, Carol, why did
(36:42):
you stay? Why did you put up with it? And
I remembered that question. Yeah, was not near as scary
and painful, but it was painful as having a you know,
(37:03):
a gun pointing at me, because I stop and ask
myself the question, Carol, what had you staying in that relationship?
Knowing what you know, what your intuition told you at
the very beginning that you were making a mistake. What
(37:27):
had you stay in this relationship? And for me, that
was a deeper, deeper digging into the core of me
of what had me staying there? And you know, it
was the belief of being naught enough and of not
(37:49):
being worthy, And you know, that I didn't deserve anything,
was like where they did that come from? Some things
had happened in my childhood. But it's interesting, you know,
(38:11):
there's another trauma in mixed in all of that that
sometimes we don't even realize. But in my journey of healing,
I actually did. I did talk therapy, which is really
very different. It's where someone asks you a question and
(38:34):
that's all they do and you get to talk. Well,
at that time, my body was ready to release, and
I was blown away because up came these words of
why didn't my mother want another pregnancy? And I that pregnancy. Yeah,
(39:04):
I'll never know why she didn't want another pregnancy, but
it's not but I picked that up in vitrol as
as the fetus.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
I picked up energies.
Speaker 3 (39:25):
And you know, I was born with those energies of
you know, feeling disconnected, feeling unaccepted. But those were, you know,
feelings that I stepped into this world with. Did my
mother love me? Yes? She did, you know? And yet
(39:50):
there was always these questions that I hadn't me So,
I mean, traumas are so complex and so intricate. However,
all of that has brought me to where I am,
where I'm able to share that with others and be
(40:13):
there for others and see the possibilities and others. And
that's one of the gifts that I have, Tina of
When I work with clients, I get to see their
possibilities before they get to see them, and it's then
their choice whether they walk towards them. But throughout all
(40:36):
of the traumas, I truly am blessed because I am
still here and I'm talking with you and sharing this
with you.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
And we're starting to come to the end of this
right now, Carol. But I I want people, I want
our viewers to understand that the gifts that she's talking
about were bestowed on her from spirit, from God, however
you choose to see that we are all born with gifts,
(41:08):
and sometimes those gifts stay boxed up, bottled up until
the trauma starts to open those gifts and the gifts
that each of us have. It's truly important for us
to understand. Again, we're talking about the talk therapy and
how it's bottled up into our body and being able
(41:30):
to see. You know, I was a martial arts instructor
for many, many years most of my adult life in fact,
and people would say, I have a couple of black belts.
How I wouldn't have gotten here had you not forced me.
How did you know that I was capable of doing this?
Just like you said, Carol, we're able. You're able to
(41:52):
see things before the person sees them. You're able to
see into them. And that's the work that if somebody
chooses to work with you, that's what you're able to
help them heal with from their traumas, from their episodes
in their life, their past, and to build because this
isn't about just digging, It's about getting to a solid
(42:16):
ground and then building up. And so as we start
to close, Carol, one of the things that I ask
for is that I know that all of our viewers
can find your information here, but how can they get
a hold of you. What's the best way for them
to get a hold of you.
Speaker 3 (42:35):
They can get a hold of me in two ways.
One is they can reach out to me on LinkedIn
and you can find me there at LinkedIn at Carol
Metz Murray. Or they can also go to my website
and my website is TRIPLEW dot Carolmetzmurray dot com. Either
(43:00):
place you can find me.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
Great, great And for those of you who don't know
anything about me, I'm a certified divorce coach, meaning that
I'm training the complexities of divorce. I've also experienced that trauma.
My father and my late husband experienced physical trauma from
their relationships, so I not only know it from textbook,
I know it from experience. This gives me the understanding
(43:25):
of what you're going through. And you can reach me
on my on my email at coach tinaly In at
gmail dot com. That's co A c h t I
n A l y n n at gmail dot com.
My website is Divorce Coachspecialist dot com. You can also
find me on social media Facebook under Tina Lynn Huggins,
(43:45):
LinkedIn Tina Huggins on Instagram under Divorce Coach Tina Lyn,
and TikTok under Divorce Tina. And So, what would be
a really good piece of advice that you can give
somebody to our viewers right now, Carol.
Speaker 3 (44:05):
My advice to viewers is, and Tina mentioned it earlier,
is when you make a plan. But before you make
a plan, there is a step, whether it's to make
the plan or in my case where I needed to
(44:26):
shift my life, it's make a decision and make it now,
and that decision then is tied There's courage there that
surrounds you, but it's tied to action and focus to
move you forward, and making that making that decision is
(44:49):
really truly a demonstration to you.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
That you are.
Speaker 3 (44:56):
Strong and your inner strengths will carry you through.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
And the one piece of advice to fit in right
there is seek help. Carol couldn't go through this alone.
She sought help. I didn't go through my healing from
my trauma. I sought help. My husband has been passed
now for almost a year, and in order for me
to get here and to be present for you are
(45:23):
viewers and my clients, I've had to seek help. So
seek help, no matter what that looks like. If you're
trying to get out of a relationship, I am there
to help those people. If I'm not, I can find somebody.
Who else? Who else is so for people that and
this is including those of us in divorce, Suicide often
(45:44):
comes to mind when we're in so much stress, so
much pain. If you are contemplating suicide, please know that
you can call the suicide hotline at nine eight eight,
Real Simple, nine to eight eight. That gets you right
to the suicide hotline. If you're in the Netherlands, then
you can call that hotline one one three. So when
(46:08):
you're dealing with a situation where you need to have
the police present. Here in the United States, you can
call nine to one one. In the UK it's nine
to nine to nine, and in the Netherlands it's one
one two. Once you get the cops there, press charges,
do not drop those charges. My late husband was a
very big advocate for this. Once you drop those charges charges,
(46:30):
what you've experienced to this state will more than likely
get worse. That's where the gun ends up in most
of my clients's face. It's when they go to leave
and then they try to mend things up and drop
those charges. That's when they end up with the gun
their face. So make sure that you press those charges,
(46:51):
keep those charges. That's your key out. And if you
or somebody you know is dealing with domestic violence, please
call the Domestic Violence hotline here in the US. That's
eight hundred seven nine nine seven two three three. That
number again is eight hundred seven ninety nine seventy two
thirty three. Get the help you need. And I need
(47:11):
to ask you viewers to please like, comment, and share
this so that it can help others. Thank you again
so much, Carol for joining me, and I will definitely
have you back. We'll have a second half of this
and we'll talk about how people can go through and
heal from their traumas well.
Speaker 3 (47:29):
Thank you so much for having me, Tina. I so
appreciate being here with you and sharing my story. If
it helps just one person, that to me is a
gift that I can give to others as so thank
you and I look forward to being back with you again.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
Thank you, Carol.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
You're listening to wgsn dB GO and Solo Network Singles
Talk Radio Channel, where we take a lighthearted and candid
approach to discussions on the journey of relationship, laws, divorce, parenting,
being single, relationships, building, dating, and yes sex. Join our
listeners and begin living your best life.
You're listening to WGSNDB Go and Solo Network Singles talk
radio channel, where we take a lighthearted and candidate approach
to discussions on the journey of relationship, laws, divorce, parenting,
being single, relationships, building, dating, and yes sex. Join our
listeners and begin living your best life.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Hello and welcome to my show The Awakening here on WGSNDB,
the Going Bold and Going Solo Network. The information and
opinions expressed on this show are just that, the opinions
of the individual speaking based on their personal and individual experiences.
They are not intended to diagnose and do not constitute
(00:47):
professional advice or recommendations. So you know, the pain, the stress,
the struggle that the divorcing people, divorcing men and women
go through, that's what I do. I help them find
peace and sanity and assist their lawyer in the legal process.
This saves them thousands of dollars because it shortens the
(01:08):
time of their divorce. My name is Tina. I'm your
divorce coach, specialist, divorce planning specialist, restorative family mediator and
confliction co parenting coach. And thank you for joining me
and I'm joined. I'm graced today with Carol Murray. She
is an awesome person, so I'm going to kind of
tell you a little bit about her. She's with leadership,
(01:31):
personal and organizational change experience. Carol Mets Murray is a
personal possibility alchemist in intuitive leadership, coach, advisor, facilitator, and
professional speaker and five times author. She is a She
(01:53):
is a mesmerizing communicator, and I can tell you she
truly is listening and building breakthroughs with her clients. Her
keen sense of life possibilities gained through life experiences of
shifts and changes led her through trauma, anxiety, overwhelm and
(02:16):
burnout to heart centered, grounded and unshakable authenticity. She's a
ligne and sharing her message that God has given her
to share with others. My notes got all kind of
messed up there. So I want to welcome you, Carol,
(02:39):
and so thank you very much for being here with
us today.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Well, thank you so much Tina for having me on
your podcast. I'm delighted to be here with you and
spend time with you.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
I can tell you are one of the rare people
in my life that I get to talk to, that
I get to sit on this wonderful pedestal and look up.
Because what you've experienced in your life, I experienced after you.
So it's like I've been following in your tracks all
this time. So I find that a special place for me.
(03:15):
I know the last time that we talked, I know
it brought me to tears because we were just right
there together and you talk to me a little bit
about the trauma that you experienced. So for our listeners,
can we start with you telling the trauma that you.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Experienced, Yes, we can start. Trauma for me began at
a very early age. I was sexually abused by a
neighbor and that went on for six years. No one
(03:55):
would believe me that this was happening, and as that
little girl, what I did was I closed my heart
because I just, you know, I just felt that my
voice didn't didn't matter. However, there was also a part
(04:19):
of me that wasn't going to kind of be slowed
down and stopped, and that's really what kept me moving forward.
But those are the trauma that I experienced, and that
feeling of not fitting in and not being heard did
(04:43):
impact me as I built relationships and grew, and as
a result, I stepped into a very violence filled marriage,
and I will share with everyone because it's interesting you
(05:03):
would ask me this question, Tina, because I was thinking
about this this morning and stepping into that violence filled
marriage on my wedding day. I intuitively knew I was
making the biggest mistake of my life, but I went
(05:28):
ahead with it. Now as a result, I have four
beautiful children, but in essence, they've paid the price with me. Oh,
I couldn't get emotional. And the violence was was well,
(05:55):
the violence was violent from sertainy, yelling and being punched,
and then it escalated to being strangled. And that happened
to me twice. And I will just I thank God
(06:15):
that I had enough strengthen me when it was happening
to do some body moves that got me, got me
out of the stranglehold. And I mean the first time
it happened, my husband at that point looked at me
(06:39):
in horror and stormed off, but that didn't stop him
that you know, I don't know what was going on
inside of him. And then it just really really began
to escalate after that. And one of the things, one
(07:04):
of the many things that transpired was that if I
was outside working in say the strawberry farm that we had,
or out in the yard and he would drive into
(07:25):
the yard with a half ton with his truck. He
would actually chase me. And so there were many a
time that I had to outrun this half ton and
you know, outrun it from the perspective that if I didn't,
(07:46):
I was going to get hit. So for many years
after leaving and divorcing, yes, I had PTSD. Every time
I saw a gray vehicle, I froze, but that, you know,
only escalated some more. And you know, I knew, I
(08:10):
knew in my heart of hearts that I needed to leave.
And I don't know what it is about someone, including me,
that we stay in relationships that aren't healthy. It wasn't,
as I said early, it wasn't healthy for me, and
it wasn't healthy for my children. But it got to
(08:33):
the point where I did ask for a divorce. It
just said I'm leaving and I'm divorcing. So I guess
an essence, that wasn't an ask, it was, I'm telling you.
What then transpired was me coming face to face with
(08:56):
a gun. He was pointing a gun in my face,
and I just went, oh my god silently, and he
looked at me and he said, there's only one way
that I can deal with this is to shoot you,
and then I'll kill myself. And I looked at him,
(09:22):
I said, what are you thinking? There are four children here,
and how will they be impacted? And he just looked
at me, and deep inside of me, I knew I
(09:46):
needed to really really be able to move through this
and talk them out of it, because the you know, yeah,
the trauma that the children were going to be impacted
(10:10):
by was you know, it was well, it's just I
can't imagine. So I calmed and internally I calmed down
and I just quietly began to talk with him. Don't
(10:31):
ask me what I said, because I don't I don't recall,
but I quietly, quietly kind of soothed him, and he
eventually lowered the gun and he looked at me and
(10:54):
he said, what have I done? And I said, you
will have to figure that out yourself, and he stormed off. Ah.
I was beyond shock, but I knew then that it
(11:19):
was I needed to get out, and I needed to
get out with my children, not now, but right now,
and so we did. That wasn't the last incident. I
then I left. I filed for divorce and on. I
(11:48):
think it was Thursday afternoon. I'm sitting at work and
my office was at the back of the building. It
was five o'clock. Everyone else had left, and generally, when
(12:12):
you know it was the practice was when you leave,
you lock the front door. And I thought everyone was gone,
and I was busy working at my desk on a project,
and I felt that there was something in the room
and I looked up and there he was, and I
(12:39):
just froze. I was like, oh my god, I'm the
only one here, and knowing what he was capable of,
I just went, oh my god, calm down, Carol, because
(12:59):
my heart was racing. And he starts screaming at me
and hollering, this is all your fault. If you came
back to me, none of this would be happening, and
on and on and on. And I looked at him
because he was standing and I was sitting. I said,
(13:22):
I'm not coming back, We are not coming back. Please leave,
and he lunged at me and he grabbed my throat
again and started to squeeze, and he squeezed and squeezed,
and oh my god, what am I going to do?
(13:43):
What I please help me? And he was obviously, I mean,
very very angry, and in this particular case, what saved
me was my right elbow because he was standing over me.
(14:11):
But I was able to even though the breath was
being squeezed out of me, I was able to bring
my elbow and elbow him in the groin. And somebody
actually must have been helping me, because I hit a
very soft spot and when I hit his groin, he
(14:34):
released me. And the look of anger and rage on
his face was something I've never forgotten. And he goes
storming out and he turns and he looks at me.
This is all your fault. You're all to blame. And
(14:59):
I just sat there and just said, please God, get
him out of the building. And he did. He went
tearing out, and I did hear the door close, and
this wow, wow, thank you. It took me quite some
(15:23):
time to move through all of that trauma, a good
number a good number of years. But also one of
the things that I did with a lot of that
trauma was I stuffed it down because Carol was strong,
(15:51):
and Carol could handle all of this, except Carol's body
said no more, you have to deal with all of this,
and that happened about a year and a half after
I left and got my divorce, and that's a whole
(16:17):
another story of releasing trauma and getting into the heart
of the matter, and that was where Naked Leadership was born.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
So for those of you viewers that just heard Carol's
story and by the way it brought me to tears,
to Carol, there are some of us that are in
those abusive relationship right now, and so a couple of
things that happened here that maybe Carol's story and we
(16:53):
can prevent you with this information from going through what
she did. So when it's time for you to get
out of that relationship, which you will need to, don't
say a word to them. You need to put together
an exit plan, a safe exit plan, and inside that
exit plan is an emergency exit plan. Those are things
(17:14):
that I help my clients with, but you need to
never say a word to them. The most dangerous time
in any relationship is the moment you go to leave it.
And the abuse that happened in my marriage always happened
when I was going to leave the fight. I ended
up with a broken hand and separated ribs and finally
(17:35):
a dislocated leg and through all of the course of
all of that. It all came about, like I said,
every time I would go to leave, just the fight,
not the marriage. And what you heard Carol talk about
was that she told him she was going to leave
and then the gun ended up. That's exactly the way
(17:56):
that those will happen. You don't ever speak about, don't
write about it, don't talk about it to anybody, but
who's safe? Because this situation can end up like this?
And I really wish I didn't have to tell you.
This is the only time I've ever heard of somebody
getting a gun pulled on them. But this is something
that happens on a semi regular basis to those of us,
(18:19):
women or men in some cases, that are in situations
that we know we need out so when it's time,
you need to seek help to help put that emergency
plan together, the exit plan together, and get help to
get out of there and have a safe place to go.
And at some point we'll actually sit and talk about that.
(18:41):
But where Carol was at and what she went through,
so many of us go through to get where we're at,
and Carol's time frame we were taught she's a little
bit older than me, But we were taught as women
that once we say I do, we stay and we
stick it out. And so many many people I see
comments on my posts where they say, well, all you
(19:04):
have to do is pray about it, or it's just
words when they yell at you, it's not it's not
just words. And eventually those words end up to be
things thrown at you. Eventually those things become fists or
belts around your neck or guns in your face. My
own father was shot at on more than one occasion.
So it's not just us women who go through this.
(19:26):
Men also go through the same type of abuse. Men
also go through the same type of abuse that Carol
and myself did when we're young, and we get molested boys,
young children. Doesn't matter what sex they are, they can
go through this. And the one thing I can tell you,
(19:46):
like with Carol's story, Carol's story is like she told
people and people didn't want to believe her, and that's
the case. That was my case too, And I didn't
tell my story until I was way older, and my
own mother didn't believe me, and I was an adult.
I was in my thirties when I told her the story.
(20:08):
And that's the point when we hear our children tell
us that we need to keep our words to ourself
because we don't want to take their words for less
than what they really are. Keep your words to yourself.
Get help for the child, and get help for yourself
(20:28):
to process this. Now, Carol went you went through all
of this, this trauma, and it took you years, So
kind of tell us how you went through all that
and where you're at now, because you said it birthed
your work now, so kind of explain how that happened.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
Yes, it was some forty years of going through trauma.
And may I just interject just before I before I
tell that when you talk about as and thank you
for sharing what you have shared with your listeners. My
(21:10):
childhood abuse, the sexual abuse. It took nearly fifty years
until I had it validated when I met an old
(21:31):
school friend many years later in Vancouver, BC, and we
began to talk, and out of her mouth came I
was sexually abused and I just eyed eden who was
a perpetrator. And it was the same person that was
(21:54):
a perpetrator to me. So to everyone listening, you just
never know when some of that information may very well
come forward. So never ever give up hope. But my
journey and through the trauma came to a head. And
(22:22):
I was living in the Far North at the time,
in the Yukon, working my dream dream job, and I
was also at the same time working on my master's degree,
which meant that I had to drive five hundred kilometers
(22:44):
one way from Dawson to Whitehorse, so it was a
thousand mile trip or return trip. And I did that
for two years on top of being a workaholic and
working long hours and just constantly giving and going. And
(23:07):
on my last on my last day of my last course,
on my way to white Horse, I drove three hundred
of those five hundred kilometers consciously, unconscious. And when I
(23:27):
came out of that in total, total panic because I
didn't know where I was. I couldn't even comprehend that
I had a steering wheel in my hands and here
I was driving on this road and it was scary,
(23:48):
beyond scary, because I mean I could have driven off
of the road, and in the Yukon, the ditches aren't
two or three feet deep their mountain sides, and I was, yeah,
beyond beyond scared, like just beyond scared. And I knew something,
(24:15):
something huge was going on inside of me. When I
got to my destination, I called my doctor and my
doctor said, Carol, either you deal with this or I'll
(24:35):
make you deal with this. You've been living high stress
all of your life. Your body is shutting down. That, Tina,
was all I needed to hear because in that split second,
or those few seconds of thinking, what would my children
(25:01):
do if I had driven off the road and killed myself,
you know, in a vehicle accent? What would they do?
They may, you know, they may be in self sufficient,
but Carol, that's not a way to live your life.
(25:22):
And so it was in that moment courage stepped forward
and said, Carol, make a decision and make it now,
like right now. And at that moment, those seconds, I
knew I needed to change my life and I needed
(25:45):
to discover who I was because the Carol that I
was really wasn't me. I had put so many barriers
up and so many glass walls and so many masks.
I needed to discover who I was. And let me
(26:08):
tell you, I mean that was a very dark point
in my life because my mental health wasn't tatters, my
physical health wasn't tatters, and as a result of of
(26:28):
my health being what it was, and I lost I
lost my dream job, and so there I was unemployed.
But the gift, the one gift that came through all
of that, and I can smile because a little boy
(26:48):
said to me, you will write your thesis, and you
will have your thesis in by the time and by
the date that it needs to be in. I really
don't know how I wrote my thesis given the shape
that I was in, I really don't. But I did
(27:10):
get it done in the three months and it was.
It was actually when I got it on the fax
machine to the University of It was at South Southeast
University in Juno, Alaska. Off it went, and I mean
(27:36):
it was just like wow. And that was then I
walked across the hall at the college where I was
and picked up the newspaper for all of the Yukon
and it fell open. And you know how synchronicities happened
when a messages are supposed to come. It fell open
(27:59):
and on the right hand side, on the bottom half
of the newspaper, that was where my job was advertised.
Nobody had said anything to me, and yes it was.
I was no longer the CEO for the City of Dawson,
(28:19):
and I was like, oh my, it was just like
what do I do? What do I do now? So
that was my gift. That was my gift for graduating
my master's program and the burnout. However, the journey then
(28:45):
began to discover who I was, and it wasn't a
quick journey. It took many different twists and turns to
release all of the trauma. And yes, when it started
to release, some of the releases were like tornadoes and hurricanes.
(29:13):
Other releases were quiet reigns. And for me and my
body was I needed to find ways to release that
would work for my body. And what I mean by that, Tina,
was I attempted psychotherapy and in the second session I
(29:40):
could feel things were not silent in my body and
I looked at the psychotherapist and I said, I'm leaving.
I need to leave now. And she looked at me
and she said, well, what have I done wrong? And
(30:00):
I said, this isn't about you, This isn't about you
at all. This is about me, and my body is
telling me I need to get out of here because
if I don't, I will be just kind of erupting everywhere.
And I said, my body needs to move. That's the
(30:22):
message that I'm getting. And I left and then I
said to myself, Okay, so now what. And so my
journey of healing was a lot of energy work, a
lot of movement, some through dance, just dance that helped
(30:47):
me move my body in different ways to release the
various traumas. And the more I released in my body,
the more that my mind also cleared out. And I,
you know, I continue on my journey and I refer
(31:08):
to it now as self image adjustments because it's as
I the more I released, the more I opened my heart.
And the more I opened my heart, the more I
was able to use my voice. And for me, that
is that is what worked and continues to work.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
So it's so yeah, I kind of want to interject
something for the viewers. What Carol's talking about here relates
to mind body medicine and in natural health. This is
a point of healing in the process where where once
our brain is done with experiencing the trauma or the incident,
(31:55):
it will store it someplace in our body and specific
places get certain memories. But what Carol's saying here that
if you do not take care of this, your body
will force you to take care of it. You'll get cancer,
you'll get ulcers, you'll get migrains, you'll have hearing issues,
you'll have eyesight problems. Just a one for incidents. Just recently,
(32:19):
I had a client where they said, I woke up
and my right eye was messed up. And so we
talked briefly and I said, so, let me tell you
what my body medicine says about the right eye. That
you don't like. Something that's going on with your family
and it's work related. And after I told her that,
(32:39):
she says, oh my god, that hits it right on.
We hired my brother. He's not working out at our job,
and now I have to release him. If you are
dealing with trauma, like what Carol has spoke about, it's
inside your body if you don't, and movement is huge.
Carol is so right about that. Talk is good, but
(33:01):
that only gets half of it out. The other half
is stored and needs some physical work to make that happen.
Speaker 3 (33:07):
So go ahead and finish, Carol. So in in my
journey forward and that discovery of me and learning all
about who I am, I mean, there's aspects of me
(33:32):
that you know, for example, leadership. I have always been
in leadership, but I started my leadership training at the
age of five when my dad on the farm said
to me, Carol, you need to learn how to lead
(33:53):
the horses and the turkeys. And we could talk about
that for another two or three hours, but that was
an essence, a foundation of who I was. All the
traumas weren't and for me, the more I healed, the
(34:14):
more that that came forward. The more I healed, the
more that the gift of words came forward that I
was able and am able to share with others as
a professional speaker, and those words just the messages come
through me. And so those are the gifts that come
(34:38):
as as a result of my healing, but my healing
not but my healing also really demonstrated to me that
Utina and I, Carol, and you're all of your listeners.
Everyone is a leader in your own life because you
(35:03):
lead your own life. When you choose to or don't
lead your life, things can happen and things will happen.
So really that the whole aspect of naked leadership is
really getting to the core of who you are and
(35:28):
with all of the the healing that I've done. What
I've also discovered is that it's it's never over. And
I've realized that your healing and growing continues until you
(35:48):
take your last breath, really and truly, and it's just yeah,
it is. It is just so so amazing. But I
will also share with everyone in this journey, no one,
(36:10):
and I say this to both women and men, no
one has the right to hurt you. No one. And
as I was going through this journey, there came a
point where someone said to me, well, Carol, why did
(36:42):
you stay? Why did you put up with it? And
I remembered that question. Yeah, was not near as scary
and painful, but it was painful as having a you know,
(37:03):
a gun pointing at me, because I stop and ask
myself the question, Carol, what had you staying in that relationship?
Knowing what you know, what your intuition told you at
the very beginning that you were making a mistake. What
(37:27):
had you stay in this relationship? And for me, that
was a deeper, deeper digging into the core of me
of what had me staying there? And you know, it
was the belief of being naught enough and of not
(37:49):
being worthy, And you know, that I didn't deserve anything,
was like where they did that come from? Some things
had happened in my childhood. But it's interesting, you know,
(38:11):
there's another trauma in mixed in all of that that
sometimes we don't even realize. But in my journey of healing,
I actually did. I did talk therapy, which is really
very different. It's where someone asks you a question and
(38:34):
that's all they do and you get to talk. Well,
at that time, my body was ready to release, and
I was blown away because up came these words of
why didn't my mother want another pregnancy? And I that pregnancy. Yeah,
(39:04):
I'll never know why she didn't want another pregnancy, but
it's not but I picked that up in vitrol as
as the fetus.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
I picked up energies.
Speaker 3 (39:25):
And you know, I was born with those energies of
you know, feeling disconnected, feeling unaccepted. But those were, you know,
feelings that I stepped into this world with. Did my
mother love me? Yes? She did, you know? And yet
(39:50):
there was always these questions that I hadn't me So,
I mean, traumas are so complex and so intricate. However,
all of that has brought me to where I am,
where I'm able to share that with others and be
(40:13):
there for others and see the possibilities and others. And
that's one of the gifts that I have, Tina of
When I work with clients, I get to see their
possibilities before they get to see them, and it's then
their choice whether they walk towards them. But throughout all
(40:36):
of the traumas, I truly am blessed because I am
still here and I'm talking with you and sharing this
with you.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
And we're starting to come to the end of this
right now, Carol. But I I want people, I want
our viewers to understand that the gifts that she's talking
about were bestowed on her from spirit, from God, however
you choose to see that we are all born with gifts,
(41:08):
and sometimes those gifts stay boxed up, bottled up until
the trauma starts to open those gifts and the gifts
that each of us have. It's truly important for us
to understand. Again, we're talking about the talk therapy and
how it's bottled up into our body and being able
(41:30):
to see. You know, I was a martial arts instructor
for many, many years most of my adult life in fact,
and people would say, I have a couple of black belts.
How I wouldn't have gotten here had you not forced me.
How did you know that I was capable of doing this?
Just like you said, Carol, we're able. You're able to
(41:52):
see things before the person sees them. You're able to
see into them. And that's the work that if somebody
chooses to work with you, that's what you're able to
help them heal with from their traumas, from their episodes
in their life, their past, and to build because this
isn't about just digging, It's about getting to a solid
(42:16):
ground and then building up. And so as we start
to close, Carol, one of the things that I ask
for is that I know that all of our viewers
can find your information here, but how can they get
a hold of you. What's the best way for them
to get a hold of you.
Speaker 3 (42:35):
They can get a hold of me in two ways.
One is they can reach out to me on LinkedIn
and you can find me there at LinkedIn at Carol
Metz Murray. Or they can also go to my website
and my website is TRIPLEW dot Carolmetzmurray dot com. Either
(43:00):
place you can find me.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
Great, great And for those of you who don't know
anything about me, I'm a certified divorce coach, meaning that
I'm training the complexities of divorce. I've also experienced that trauma.
My father and my late husband experienced physical trauma from
their relationships, so I not only know it from textbook,
I know it from experience. This gives me the understanding
(43:25):
of what you're going through. And you can reach me
on my on my email at coach tinaly In at
gmail dot com. That's co A c h t I
n A l y n n at gmail dot com.
My website is Divorce Coachspecialist dot com. You can also
find me on social media Facebook under Tina Lynn Huggins,
(43:45):
LinkedIn Tina Huggins on Instagram under Divorce Coach Tina Lyn,
and TikTok under Divorce Tina. And So, what would be
a really good piece of advice that you can give
somebody to our viewers right now, Carol.
Speaker 3 (44:05):
My advice to viewers is, and Tina mentioned it earlier,
is when you make a plan. But before you make
a plan, there is a step, whether it's to make
the plan or in my case where I needed to
(44:26):
shift my life, it's make a decision and make it now,
and that decision then is tied There's courage there that
surrounds you, but it's tied to action and focus to
move you forward, and making that making that decision is
(44:49):
really truly a demonstration to you.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
That you are.
Speaker 3 (44:56):
Strong and your inner strengths will carry you through.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
And the one piece of advice to fit in right
there is seek help. Carol couldn't go through this alone.
She sought help. I didn't go through my healing from
my trauma. I sought help. My husband has been passed
now for almost a year, and in order for me
to get here and to be present for you are
(45:23):
viewers and my clients, I've had to seek help. So
seek help, no matter what that looks like. If you're
trying to get out of a relationship, I am there
to help those people. If I'm not, I can find somebody.
Who else? Who else is so for people that and
this is including those of us in divorce, Suicide often
(45:44):
comes to mind when we're in so much stress, so
much pain. If you are contemplating suicide, please know that
you can call the suicide hotline at nine eight eight,
Real Simple, nine to eight eight. That gets you right
to the suicide hotline. If you're in the Netherlands, then
you can call that hotline one one three. So when
(46:08):
you're dealing with a situation where you need to have
the police present. Here in the United States, you can
call nine to one one. In the UK it's nine
to nine to nine, and in the Netherlands it's one
one two. Once you get the cops there, press charges,
do not drop those charges. My late husband was a
very big advocate for this. Once you drop those charges charges,
(46:30):
what you've experienced to this state will more than likely
get worse. That's where the gun ends up in most
of my clients's face. It's when they go to leave
and then they try to mend things up and drop
those charges. That's when they end up with the gun
their face. So make sure that you press those charges,
(46:51):
keep those charges. That's your key out. And if you
or somebody you know is dealing with domestic violence, please
call the Domestic Violence hotline here in the US. That's
eight hundred seven nine nine seven two three three. That
number again is eight hundred seven ninety nine seventy two
thirty three. Get the help you need. And I need
(47:11):
to ask you viewers to please like, comment, and share
this so that it can help others. Thank you again
so much, Carol for joining me, and I will definitely
have you back. We'll have a second half of this
and we'll talk about how people can go through and
heal from their traumas well.
Speaker 3 (47:29):
Thank you so much for having me, Tina. I so
appreciate being here with you and sharing my story. If
it helps just one person, that to me is a
gift that I can give to others as so thank
you and I look forward to being back with you again.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
Thank you, Carol.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
You're listening to wgsn dB GO and Solo Network Singles
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