April 30, 2025 • 42 mins
Join host Tina Huggins, Divorce & "Narcissist Conflict" Specialist, on The Awakening show for a must-see episode titled "Real Estate Advice From The Breakup Broker." Special guest Amy Slate, known as The Breakup Broker, brings her expert insight into navigating real estate transitions during and after a breakup or divorce. From selling the family home to finding your next space of peace and possibility, Amy shares real-world advice with heart and clarity.
Watch now on NEWStreamingNetwork.com and take the next step in your fresh start with confidence. https://www.newstreamingnetwork.com/
More About Tina: Tina Huggins, CTA Life Coach certified, CDC Divorce Coach, CDC Transitions Coach, CDC Recovery Coach, TKG Restorative Family Mediator Certified, TKG Family Circle Certified. I have coached for over 30 years coming from the background of law enforcement and self-defense instructor.
Connect with Tina: coachtinalynn@gmail.com https://divorcecoachspecialist.com/
More about Amy Slate: Amy is an experienced real estate agent with a passion for helping clients through life transitions. She created The Breakup Broker to fill a much- needed niche. Her calm demeanor, extensive knowledge, and natural teaching ability make her a trusted partner for clients in need of guidance and support with their real estate transactions while simultaneously navigating divorce.
Connect with Amy: theamyslate@gmail.com https://thebreakupbroker.com/
Watch now on NEWStreamingNetwork.com and take the next step in your fresh start with confidence. https://www.newstreamingnetwork.com/
More About Tina: Tina Huggins, CTA Life Coach certified, CDC Divorce Coach, CDC Transitions Coach, CDC Recovery Coach, TKG Restorative Family Mediator Certified, TKG Family Circle Certified. I have coached for over 30 years coming from the background of law enforcement and self-defense instructor.
Connect with Tina: coachtinalynn@gmail.com https://divorcecoachspecialist.com/
More about Amy Slate: Amy is an experienced real estate agent with a passion for helping clients through life transitions. She created The Breakup Broker to fill a much- needed niche. Her calm demeanor, extensive knowledge, and natural teaching ability make her a trusted partner for clients in need of guidance and support with their real estate transactions while simultaneously navigating divorce.
Connect with Amy: theamyslate@gmail.com https://thebreakupbroker.com/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're listening to WGSNDB Go and Solo Network Singles talk
radio channel, where we take a lighthearted and candidate approach
to discussions on the journey of relationship, laws, divorce, parenting,
being single, relationships, building, dating, and yes sex. Join our
listeners and begin living your best life.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Hello and welcome to my show The Awakening here on WGSNDB,
The Going Bold and Going Solo Network. The information and
opinions expressed on this show are just that, the opinions
of the individual speaking based on their individual personal experience.
They are not intended to diagnose and do not constitute
professional advice or recommendations. So you know the pain, stress
(00:50):
and struggle that divorcing people go through, while there is
a way to find peace, insanity and assist the lawyer.
This all helps save thousands of dollars in your processing
your legal fees. So my name's Tina Huggins. I'm your
divorce coach, specialist, divorce consultant, restorative family mediator and conflictal
co parenting coach. And my guest today is Amy Slate.
(01:13):
Amy is an experienced real estate agent with passion with
a passion for helping others through life transitions. She created
the Breakup Broker to fill a much needed niche. Her
calm demeanor, extensive knowledge, and natural teaching ability make her
(01:33):
a trusted partner for the clients in need of guidance
and support with their real estate transactions while simultaneously going
through a divorce. So Amy, welcome and thank you for
joining us today.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
So I've talked with Amy before, and Amy and I
had a really good divorce conversation, and then as we
prepped Amy, or as Amy prepped for coming, she actually
shared some of her information that she experienced and the
reason why she actually started the Breakoup Broker, which I
(02:17):
thought is just a wonderful name. So Amy, kind of
tell us a little bit about why you ended up
back in Boston and opening up such an interesting real
estate office.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Sure it has been a wild ride, that's for sure.
So I was. I'm originally from New England.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
I've been I was in Massachusetts for my god almost
probably fifteen years before moving to Florida, where I was
with my then husband for three years. And one day
he came home from a trip abroad and said we're
done here. I was like, okay, And as you know,
your world gets turned upside down and you spend some
(02:59):
days eating oyster crackers in the guest room, and then.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
You pull your boots on and you figure it out.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
So I packed up my stuff and my cats and
drove back to Boston where I am now and kind
of had some reflective moments and said, Okay, I'm I'm
the only paycheck now.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
I've got to pay all my bills. I've got to
figure this out. I've got to build my business.
Speaker 4 (03:21):
I've been out of Massachusetts for a bit, so I
had to kind of rebuild my clientele and my network here.
And while I was doing that, I was on these
Facebook groups and support groups for women going through divorce,
and so many of them had so many questions about
do I sell the house? Do I have to sell
the house? How do I sell the house?
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Can I buy something?
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Where?
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Can I buy something? Do I need to revent? All
these real estate questions?
Speaker 4 (03:45):
And I was thinking, these are the same questions I'm having,
But I do it for a living, and so it's
only like this stressful for me. These poor women it
was like this stressful for them, And so I just
started thinking, Okay, I've got to rebuild my business, and
I also there's population of women that could really benefit
from my knowledge and expertise and just like my way
(04:06):
of being in the world and listening and understanding and
being supportive. And one morning I woke up and said,
the breakup broker, it's happening.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
And I've been working on.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
That since mid to late last year, just really honing
in on what these women need, how do I connect
with them, how do I build networks to support them.
That's one of those turning lemons into lemonade kind of stories,
I guess.
Speaker 5 (04:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
So, in the discussions that we've had, either via a
text or in person, you talk about the coheresive control,
so kind of in your definition, explain what cohersive control
is to so ore viewers understand.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Yeah, and I am not the textbook.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
No, I don't know the definition, but I will give
you my experience. I will say during my marriage or
probably probably a lot of it was happening that I
was not acknowledging was that. And as I continue to
unpack it in therapy, I'm like, oh, that was that?
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Oh that was that?
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Right?
Speaker 3 (05:09):
But what's kind of more front and.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
Center for me in this moment is he very quickly
drained all of our bank accounts and moved all our
joint money into accounts only he could access right, so.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
That financial control.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
He's dragging his feet on some things and not signing
documents so we can't sell some of our properties.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
He's not being responsive. He's being very adversarial and very threatening,
for lack of a better term.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
Actually vividly remember May perhaps of last year. I was
at a girlfriend's house and I got an email.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
And it said return the garage door opener.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
Because I had like left with my car and it
was on the advisor. It was the last thing on
my mind.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
I ignored it. I still own the home. I should
be able to access the garage if I want.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
The next day I got a nasty he was doubling
down on return that garage door opener, so I ignored it.
The third day I got another one, even nasty about
her return in the garage door open. And it seems
so petty now, but in hindsight, like I was feeling
unsettled every time I opened my inbox and finally just said, like,
I am not going to let him exert that level
(06:18):
of control over my day to day, feeling this pit
in my stomach, like waiting for the next thing to come.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
And so I went no contact. So thankfully, I've actually been.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
Relatively free of the course of control for the last
eleven months or so.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
So so our viewers understand a little bit about what
she did. Now you you don't have children, correct, correct,
And in Amy's case, she did exactly what I would
suggest that she had done. When we open that email,
those texts, when we open them, we have this not
in the pit of our stomach, and in fact, it's
(06:58):
really higher than that. It's like right underneath the heart.
It just hurts, and we're so afraid. Our heartbeat goes up.
We get anxious, and our anxiety levels are off the charts.
And so one of the things that I tell my
clients is that if it doesn't need communicated, then it's
(07:18):
like a gray rock.
Speaker 5 (07:19):
You just drop it and walk away from it.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Just walk away from it, because by continuing the conversation,
you continue to feel the way you are. And in
your case, Amy, he's the one that decided that he
wanted the divorce.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Correct.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Yep.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
Yeah, So you got to go through that shock and
awe of everything.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
And generally there's one person that's been that wants a
divorce and they come in and they tell you they
want the divorce, but they've been thinking about it for months,
if not years. I know in my case, it was
years trying to figure out how to get out of
the relationship. And because we've been thinking about it for years,
we were already ahead of the healing curve in that aspect.
(08:04):
And so here you were getting shocked with the I
want a divorce and like you said, you were eating
crackers in the other You needed to pull up your
bootstraps in and do something about it. And what you
did was, like you said, you made lemonade out of lemons,
(08:25):
So the lemon being your divorce and the lemonade being
this wonderful name and the way that you go about
about your work as a.
Speaker 5 (08:33):
Real estate agent.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
But I don't know how many people understand what a
real estate broker is, so you can you explain that
to us?
Speaker 4 (08:42):
Yes, and full disclosure, I'm actually not a licensed broker,
but in Massachusetts they do use the terms interchangeably. You
will hear someone call an agent a broker, a broker
an agent. It just happens, and it kind of flew
with breakup broker. So it all worked for me. But
in general I work for a broker, So there was
someone who's not my boss, say, but kind of like
the buckstops here, they're the ones who like enforce the
(09:03):
guidelines and the rules and all that. One of my
teammates is an associate broker, so I am surrounded by
many brokers. I just don't actually have that license.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
But it is almost like a next level of licensing
in the real estate space.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Okay, So, and the difference between a real estate agent
and a real estate broker is what.
Speaker 4 (09:24):
An additional coursework and a license, taking a test and
getting a license.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
But in your case, you can work. You can can
help people sell houses in other states and buy houses
in another state.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
Yes, and a lot of that. Even if you are
a broker, you're licensed by state. But what we can
do is we have a professional network. So I can
call my agent friend Wendy in Florida, who I adore,
and say, hey, Wendy, I have a client. I know
you're well versed in the divorce real estate world. I'd
love for you to help her. And so now client A,
who still a house in Florida, talks to Wendy and
(10:02):
Wendy takes for that and then we kind of just
refer business back and forth like that.
Speaker 5 (10:08):
And that's cool, I can tell you and for you
and for all of our.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Viewers, I use a realator in every single divorce case.
And the reason for that is is that my clients
are just they're like pouring money. They have to pay
for this, they have to pay for that, and then
they've got their attorney and la la la la. So
by having a realator, a realator can go in for me,
(10:33):
for my client and do a COMPS on the home
so they can basically get a free a free estimate
of what their house is worth, and that gives them
then they can take those comps and they can actually
use them in their divorce proceedings as proof of what
their house would be worth. So in this case, like
(10:57):
I've got I've got realatures all over the place, but
now having you in my back pocket is hued because
you you've got people all over the place too, Like
I've got this wonderful realator and we're trying to work
together in another divorce arena.
Speaker 5 (11:12):
And his name is.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Is Cortes and he works in Denver, Colorado, and he
is somebody that has helped me in several situations over there.
And what was really cool about him, which I guess
I just didn't see this and this fits into your
back pocket, is when I was talking to him, he
had he was listening to me by my house over here,
(11:38):
and I was struggling with the relator that I originally
started with, and he's like, no more, said I can
go out and find you a realator right now. You
just give me the okay, and I will go and
interview them for you, and I will find the one
that fits. I thought that was so cool that a real,
realator could do that. So that's technically what you do, correct.
Speaker 4 (12:01):
Yeah, absolutely, And I think you know there's so many
pieces of that when you are a divorcing woman, you
are up to your eyeballs in paperwork and calls with
professionals and all the things of like figuring out your
life that if someone keep to me and said I'm
taking that off your plate, I'm gonna go do that
for you, I would like have it, whatever it is,
just have it. I know you, I trust you, and
(12:21):
I think agent to agent, we know the questions to
ask more than just someone who hasn't bought us sold
the house in twenty years would and so we can
be a little bit tougher of critics. And I know
I'm also very.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Sensitive to I'm gonna sound like the kids, like the
vibe of the person.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
Right, because I know my client over here who is
divorcing and has real estate needs, They've got a certain
emotional state, they've got a level of stress, they've got
a level of just like chaos in their lives that
needs to be really tended to appropriately. And I love
all my real estate agent colleagues, but they're not all
well suited to deal with that necessarily. And so finding
(13:00):
an agent who not only is good at the real
estate piece, but is good at the person to person
interaction and supporting someone through an emotionally draining time is crucial.
Speaker 5 (13:11):
Yes, humm, it is so cute crucial.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
You know, when I was by in this house, I
wasn't going through a divorce. I was probably going through
a worse state in life where I had lost my husband.
And so I was here doing all of this as
a single woman, all by myself. And I know that
you focus your work towards women, but you'll work with men.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
Is that correct?
Speaker 4 (13:32):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (13:33):
And so I focus my work towards men, but I
work with women.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
And I can tell you as a single woman, I
came into this brand new home which is where I'm
sitting right now in my office. And when I first
came into the house, I didn't want it. One I
was afraid of the organization that was selling the house.
Speaker 5 (13:52):
And then two it was all white. Everything was white.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
The cabinets were white, the walls were white, ceiling was white,
floors were not but everything else was white. And so
it seemed very, I don't know, sterile to me. So
it was interesting because my realature did not say anything
to me.
Speaker 5 (14:12):
She just guided me to the next house.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
In the next house, well, I had put an offer
on another house that I thought was going to work great,
and then when we had people look at it, it
had flooding issues. And since we had just come out
of the hurricane, that was a big issue for all
of us hunting for houses at that time. We didn't
want to be anywhere that something could flood. So she says, well,
(14:35):
why don't we just go look again at this house?
And this is my guidance from spirit, right, So so
I get back in here and it's a whole different vibe.
Speaker 5 (14:47):
You know, here we use the word vibe again. It
was a whole different vibe.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
But this time the real ature showed the house in
a different way to me. She knew when I walked
in the first time, I wasn't real happy with it.
And so time she said, oh, you were worried about
your china, Hutch, I think it could go there, and
I think that your little cure cabinet that you talk
about could go over there, and your couch could fit
(15:11):
over here. So she was giving me this view of
what things could look like. So it was a whole
different thing. Now in your case, you're working with people
that are all over the place, and like Cortes when
he showed me the house, or when he told me
he could get a realtor to show me the houses
(15:32):
and stuff, he's all the way in Colorado. I'm over here.
So kind of explain to our viewers how that kind
of works so that you get paid.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Sure.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
So again, we have these professional networks, both within our
same companies and outside of companies. I've got like an
extensive social media connection network of people whose work I've
watched and learned, and I have had conversations and trust them.
But typically the way it works is called a referral fee.
So back to my friend Wendy in Florida. If I
called her and said, Wendy, I've got this client, she
(16:03):
needs to tell her house, and Wendy goes and takes
care of that. Wendy then sends me a portion of
her commission for me kind of providing the lead to her.
And that's just how we pass money around. And that's
what allows me to be able to do my work
for free too, because I can come in as a
consultant to these people, to these women who are already
(16:23):
paying attorneys, paying forensic accountants, paying private investigators, paying everyone
under the sun, and say like, I'm gonna do this
for you for free, and it's also gonna bring me
a lot of joy. And we're going to get your
house and your real estate stuff taken care of and
I'll get my money. But you don't need to worry
about it.
Speaker 5 (16:41):
That.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
I can tell you that when I offer that from
my clients, they're like free. I never thought about having
a realtor do the compst that we had to have
all the appraisals and stuff. And I'm like if you
don't need an appraisal, don't get one, because it's just
another expense. And in my client's cases, they're divorcing a
high conflict personality, a high conflict person and just like
(17:04):
your former husband, they're being attacked and in almost every
single one of their cases, they're being financially abused, just
like you just explained. And so to have somebody be
able to come in and do something for free just
touches them and and it makes their It makes their
whole day worth that smile for me. So what are
(17:29):
some of the questions, Amy that you have when when
these women or people start coming to you in the
middle of their divorce.
Speaker 4 (17:38):
Sure, so you know when as it pretends to real estate,
I always disclose I'm not a therapist or an attorney.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
I will talk real estate all day long.
Speaker 4 (17:46):
I will be a listening here, but I can't give
legal guidance or financial guidance. I think we talk about
in general just their needs. You know, their their their
buckets of needs. What do you need right now? Do
you need to stay in this house? Are your kids
in school? Do you work around the corner? Like? What
are the things that make you maybe want to stay
in this house. And if you do want to stay,
(18:06):
can you afford it? Or if you don't want to stay,
can you afford to leave?
Speaker 3 (18:10):
You know what?
Speaker 4 (18:11):
What are the different options that exist, because it's everyone's
situation is so drastically different, not just from what they
can afford, but what they want. Some women are like
I never want to see inside that house again. Like
I just want to be done with it.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
I want to move out. I want to put floral
wallpaper up and have my space right. And so it's
about what do you need, what do you.
Speaker 4 (18:30):
Want, and what's actually possible, and just talking through all
the logistics but also the emotions, like Okay, you want
to sell your house, Like, let's talk about how that's
going to feel, because it's a process. We've got to
pack up twenty years of memories and kids toys and
hashmarks on the doorframes of how tall they wear, and
so just helping them through that, like almost unburdening of
(18:53):
the house, of the emotional piece of the house is
really important too. But I need to understand from them,
like where are you on the spectrum of an emotional
basket case? Or like you're like, yeah, whatever, get me
out of here because they're all across the spectrum.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
I think, you know, like with me going back to me,
I had a house in Arkansas and I sold that house.
I needed to sell that house. That is what my
husband and I bought. And I would tell people he
was my dream and that was his dream, and I
can't live his dream without him, and so my dream
(19:28):
was to be with him, but I can't be so
I had to come over here.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
And so the.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Sale of that house was it was kind of daunting
in the fact that I was dealing with grief at
the same time, and I spent like I spent like
two and a half months devoid of human contact during
the time I.
Speaker 5 (19:46):
Was packing up my house, and.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
That process of selling that and getting out of there,
it hurt for me to be in there. It hurt
for me to sit there and to be there every
day because I was alone one and he wasn't there.
Speaker 5 (20:05):
And then buying this house.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Had its own excitement and fear, because you know, I
got to be able to afford the mortgage and work
through all of that. And I know that when my
clients come to me and they want to keep the
house so bad and it's because the kids they that's
all the home that they know. That's the one that
I hear the most. It's the only home my kids
(20:30):
have ever known.
Speaker 5 (20:31):
And I can tell.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
You, being a kid coming out of a divorce, I
still wanted out of that house so bad. I wanted
out of it because we could feel all of that
fighting and negative energy in the house.
Speaker 5 (20:45):
We hated that house.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
We just wanted to leave, and it was the only
house we knew as a family, basically.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
And I always ask the question that when I need
to get that answer out of a client's head and
they can't get past the emotional peace, I always say, Okay,
let's take the divorce out of the picture.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
Let's pretend you've just outgrown this house.
Speaker 5 (21:03):
Right.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
You can't fit your kids and their stuff and your
stuff in this house anymore. You need a bigger house.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
Would you still stay here because it's the only house
the kids have ever known, or would you move for
a better.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
Opportunity and a different opportunity, right?
Speaker 4 (21:16):
And I think they get so clouded with the divorce
and it's already disruptive to the kids and all these things,
which I understand, But like, let's just talk about the house.
The four walls in the roof, Like, let's talk about
the physical structure and how you changing that what or
would not impact things? And sometimes they they're like, oh,
I get it now. And kids are resilient, you know.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Or way more resilient than we are, as long as
we love on them. I think that's the thing.
Speaker 5 (21:44):
I was just.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Writing the story of my divorce twenty one years ago,
and the one thing that I didn't do well enough
was focused on my kids, who were older. But it's
still that the kids are so important and that's why
mom specifically moms don't want to leave that house. It's
the only kids that are the only house there kids
(22:05):
have ever known. And so, like you, I kind of
do something real simpler with my clients, real simple. It's
I just say, you know, let's just take the kids
with you as you go to find this place or
that you're going to rent, go take the kids with you.
Speaker 5 (22:23):
Let the kids tell you, you know, this is my room.
That's you know, because.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
They're going to get super excited about that. And when parents,
even grandparents that are divorcing, have done this, I tell them,
you know, take the kids with you, and they're like, wow,
I didn't know that it was going to be so
exciting for them to try and pick their own room,
or to see the park that was right close to
the house, or it's we've just got to change the
(22:48):
mindset of where we're trapping ourselves in because, like you
use the word vibe, I don't.
Speaker 5 (22:56):
I this is my preference for my clients.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
I really don't want my clients and their children inside
that negative energy. You know, it's what we as children felt.
It just felt so negative for us, and I don't
want my divorcing person to sit in that negative vibe.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
I think when you remove yourself from that energy and
that vibe and that everything your nervous system, it like
takes a vacation. It's finally like I can breathe again,
I can think clearly again, because all that negativity just
just shadows everything.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can. I can go back through
my divorce, you know, I lost. I get to kind
of measure this between the loss of a husband and
a divorce, and I can tell you the loss of
a husband was way, way worse, but the emotions were
(23:56):
way less intense as far as fear and far as
because I was afraid of my former husband, I was
afraid of the conflict. I was afraid of being yelled at,
and all of that was just so difficult for me
at that point that six months after I left, I
(24:16):
attempted suicide and that I haven't got to that part
I have felt when I'm driving alone when because my
husband and I used to be together all the time.
Speaker 5 (24:28):
We were together twenty four to.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Seven, and when I was driving once, I was like, well,
if I just drove off the road, nobody, you know,
I would be with you and nobody would know. And
it was only that long. But the pain wasn't there
like I did in the divorce. That divorce pain that
we feel when we go through that divorce, like gut
(24:50):
wrenching stuff is just horrible. Yep, yeah, yeah, And just
talking about it, we go back to that butt. So
what are some of the other things that you end
up talking with these women about when they're trying to
decide whether they're going to sell and possibly even buy.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
Yeah, A lot of the concern comes on the whether
even I see this come into play when they are
going to keep their house or when they're going to
sell and buy a house alone. There's a lot of this,
like what if the basement floods, what if the electricity
goes off? Like all these like what ifs, and I
want to shake them and be like you are the
(25:32):
most capable human being, and YouTube exists, right, Like I mean,
I was with a client this week and she was like.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
But what about this? I said, everything is figure outable.
We google it. I have fixed appliances. I have no
business fixing appliances, but I google some things, I try
some things, and poof, it gets fixed.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
You know.
Speaker 4 (25:51):
It's I think we worry about those kind of traditional
gender roles of like well the mantics care of the
house or you know, any of that stuff, And how
am I going to take care of that? How am
I going to know what contractor to call? How And
like like I'm a resource. I'm sure you have friends
who are resources. Like you're not alone, even though they
worry that, like it's gonna be just meeting her this
(26:11):
house all by myself, which is a huge undertaking.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
So just trying to like calm those fears and.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
Let them know like first of all, your basement's not
gonna flood, your roof's not gonna go, and you're not
gonna get termites like all in the same week. Like,
those things aren't gonna happen, So let's just take a breather,
and when something does, we figure it out.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
I laugh because even I come from a farm, so
so even even being married, I a lot of times
was the one fixing stuff. Now, my late husband, he
was very good at carpentry aspects, and so he he
did floor work.
Speaker 5 (26:48):
And so at one point in our in our other.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
House that we shared together, we had to tear out
the floor in our bedroom, literally clear to the dirt,
and we had to rebuild the foundational part of that
house because it had termites and it had got in
and destroyed one of the footers on the house. So
we opened up and they were going to charge us
four thousand dollars to do just that footer, and so
(27:14):
we had to fix the floor.
Speaker 5 (27:15):
So we jacked it up just.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
A little bit, moved out the footer, put another one in,
put it in, Blaze built the floor, and we did
that part together.
Speaker 5 (27:25):
But he had the knowledge of how to go through
and do that.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
But like I move into this house, fixed appliances done that,
one change, you know, plumbing aspects done that. Put my
dryer in and out with the dryer cord and that.
Speaker 5 (27:41):
Type of stuff or the vent pipe.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
And I did all of that, and if I couldn't
do it on my own, I've called somebody and said, hey,
do you know how to do this?
Speaker 5 (27:52):
Or could you tell me somebody.
Speaker 4 (27:53):
How or I could call Yep, it's all manageable, all
of it, every single bit.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Yeah. One of the things that when I was buying
this house, that I wanted with whatever house I was
going to buy is a newer roof and a newer
air conditioner, because I knew those were the things that
were that always went bad here in this part of
the country.
Speaker 5 (28:15):
And so I ended up.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
With a brand new house, so obviously brand new roof
and brand new air conditioner. And so those are things
and that that's where I work with my clients too.
Speaker 5 (28:29):
I work with that, that relationship with their higher power God.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
However, they say, but we've got we've got to look
at that that there is a way to make lemonade
out of the lemons, just like you did. And I
would say, I'm doing the same thing moving out here
with my son. I'm making my lemonade out of the
death of my husband, which was my lemons.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
Yep.
Speaker 4 (28:55):
Yeah, I think it's easy to get caught up in
the oh poor me and my life was just turned
upside down and all these things. And for me, it's
just a new opportunity to just does my Oh yeah,
she does my thing up here, says she designed a
life she loved, and like that's what leads me every day.
Like I get up and I make plans, and I
look at my calendar and I think about things and
(29:16):
do things that are all things that I love for me.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
Because that's all I have to worry about anymore.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Right right, And to me, that is one of the
best things. Now, Yes, I am lonely, but I've got
my son within ten minutes of me and have I
hang out at the tavern where they were.
Speaker 5 (29:35):
Him and his wife work all the time.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
And so I've made a chunk of friends, and several
of them have come over, you know. One of them
has joined me for dinner and I go out with
a girlfriend and we go and eat. And so it's
just when you when you move to a new location.
And this location was super important to me, one is
because of my son. But I had already met I'd
(29:58):
started coming out here ten years ago and had already
mapped people. So I had already developed beginner relationships with people,
and so those types of things were super important to me.
And I assume because you moved back to the Boston
area from Florida that you went back to friendships.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
I did.
Speaker 4 (30:19):
Yeah, I live so I previously lived in a very
different part of Greater Boston than I am now. And
I specifically moved here because two of my dear friends
are five minutes away.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
I go for a jog to the house on occasion.
Speaker 4 (30:30):
And just knowing that someone is there when I need
someone a few my cats because I'm working late, or
i need help moving a table because I'm only one person,
like any of those things. Having someone close, whether friend's family,
a good neighbor, or whatever is huge for sure.
Speaker 5 (30:46):
Yeah, and that brings us back to google the stuff.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
If you can't fix it and you don't have friends,
well some of your friends are going to know who
to call.
Speaker 5 (30:58):
So that's a really good one.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
So when people are you know, they're selling their house
and now they're moving into a new house, what are
some of the things that you help them look for?
Speaker 3 (31:12):
That's a that's a long answer.
Speaker 4 (31:15):
I think we have some conversations before we even step
foot into place, saying like, what are your non negotiables?
Do you need three but you have you have two
kids and you you need three bedrooms or you know whatever,
those those kind of bare minimum bedroom bathroom square footage.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
Do you need a garage? Do you want a yard? Like?
What are those things we're all looking for? And then
the other.
Speaker 4 (31:33):
Piece is I always want to make sure they don't
overspend because banks will approve you for a really large
amount that they say you are qualified for, but at
the end of the day, you probably want to pull
that back a smidge because you want to still go
on vacation and have nice dinners out and not be
house poor, as we say.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
And so I always try.
Speaker 4 (31:51):
And really reinforce their budget because it's easy to get
budget creep. They scroll on Zillow or wherever, and then
I get a phone call can we go see this?
Speaker 3 (32:00):
And I'd say, this is one hundred thousand.
Speaker 4 (32:02):
Dollars over your budget that we discussed, Like I need
to make clear that that's the case, and you tell
me where we're going from here, because I have a
duty to you to respect what you've kind of laid out.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
So I do try and.
Speaker 4 (32:13):
Make sure that the property is manageable for them from
a financial perspective as well as just a day to
day operations. Like, if you're a single woman, do you
need six thousand square feet six bedrooms and seven bathrooms
that you've got to clean, maintained, fixed repair.
Speaker 3 (32:28):
Probably not, even if you could afford it, right, So
what is just your day to day living look like?
Speaker 4 (32:34):
And how does that drive with this space or some
of the things I try and gently persuade and encourage
them good.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Yeah, And some of the things that I looked at
when I moved out here, I found a really cute
little house and it was It was about eighty thousand
less than this one that I bought, so it was
extremely affordable and my mortgage would have been about.
Speaker 5 (32:58):
Half what it is now.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
And I initially looked at it with a girlfriend who
was out visiting, and the area looked great, everything was wonderful.
I just worried that the house was way too little
because I have some big, chunky furniture and I was
so worried that it wouldn't fit in. So I looked
at another place and that's where I found the house
(33:22):
that I originally put my bid in on.
Speaker 5 (33:25):
And then after that one went down, I.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
Went back to that little tiny house and I decided
to drive further out, and this time I had a
different friend with me, and we're like, oh my god,
we can't live anywhere close to this mess. So that
was a huge thing for me, is that the community
needed to be conducive and this one that I'm in
(33:48):
is a brand new community and it was definitely within
my price range. I ended up having to put a
little bit more down on it to make sure that
I could afford.
Speaker 5 (33:58):
That things worked for me and that level.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
And my realature was huge in that aspect for me,
I really really adored her.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
Oh good.
Speaker 4 (34:12):
That makes me so happy because there are a lot
of great agents and a lot of not so great agents,
So when someone does have a great agent, I'm super
grateful for us as an industry.
Speaker 5 (34:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
So one thing before we start the closed process is
I happened to know and I knew this before I
started the sale of my home a year ago, that
there has been a big change in how the commission
aspects go. So can you kind of explain that for
our viewers?
Speaker 4 (34:39):
Yes, And the answer is there has been a change,
but really in practice, it's not so much of a change.
So historically, if you're selling a home, your agent will say, okay,
my fee is we'll use run numbers six percent. I'm
going to keep three percent of that commission, and I'm
going to give three percent to the other agent who
brings the buyer. So you, the seller, are still paying
(35:01):
six percent, but ultimately.
Speaker 3 (35:03):
I'm only going to get half and the other agent's
going to get half. That's the way it's worked for decades.
Speaker 4 (35:08):
Well, now, there was some lawsuits and lots of hubbub
and the upshot is sellers were feeling.
Speaker 3 (35:16):
As though they didn't have.
Speaker 4 (35:17):
Control over what was being given to that buyer's agent, right,
so they they were just at the mercy of well,
my agent said they're giving them three percent.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
So they wanted more control.
Speaker 4 (35:29):
So now what happens is in practice, when you are
representing the seller, you say, okay, fee for my services
is three percent, right, that's what you're gonna pay me. Now,
we can offer to pay a commission to a buyer's agent,
or what we say here is when offers come in,
(35:50):
the offer will say, you know, we're offering X one
hundred thousand dollars and we are requesting that the seller
pay me the agent three percent, So it's really just
who's asking for it. And they're more negotiable now, so
the seller could say, I like the purchase price, but
I'm not paying them three percent. I'll pay them two
and a half percent. And that's so we're seeing more
(36:13):
negotiation around commissions. But at the end of the day,
the money still most often comes out of the seller's pocket.
It's just that they have control over how much they're giving.
Speaker 5 (36:24):
Yeah, that's kind of sad for the realtor.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
I've heard some Colorado has some nasty stories going on
in northern Colorado, and then here there's a part of
that that changed where now you have to of course,
you have to put your earnest money down. But now
if and this is what happened to me, I ended
up having to get I had to throw five hundred
dollars away because I didn't take the other house. And
(36:52):
that's that's because they have to remove the house off
the market, so that is the lowest amount that you
can give them. And so that happened here in South
Carolina when all of that relature stuff changed. And so
now if you take a house and even though it
(37:12):
failed its inspection. Even though it failed in his inspection,
I still had to give them five hundred dollars because
they had to pull it off the market.
Speaker 5 (37:19):
For that short time.
Speaker 4 (37:21):
Nice and rules are different state to state, so we
don't have that exact situation here, but I do understand
that other states have some wacky things.
Speaker 5 (37:29):
Yes, each state is so different.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
So, Amy, I know that your contact information is going
to be here underneath the show and stuff. But can
you tell our viewers how to find you?
Speaker 5 (37:41):
You bet?
Speaker 3 (37:42):
So. The easiest is the breakupbroker dot Com. You'll find
just a.
Speaker 4 (37:46):
Little burb who I am, what I do, and some
ways to contact me. There on Instagram and Facebook, I
am at the Amy slate. Pretty easy to remember. You'll
see a lot of coffee and cats and hopefully some
travel soon and fair amount of houses.
Speaker 5 (38:02):
This is good.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
So, so now that we're coming to a close, I
can tell you that I'm a certified divorce coach. That
means that I'm trained in the complexities of divorce. I
specialize in the high conflict divorce arena, especially that from
a toxic partner. My late husband, my dad and myself
all experienced abuse in some form or a lot of forms,
(38:26):
And so not only do I understand that from the textbook,
I also understand it from the experience, just as Amy
expressed earlier, she knows it that also. So I can
be reached through my email at Coach Tina Lynn at
gmail dot com. That's co A c h t I
(38:47):
n A l y n n at gmail dot com.
My website is Divorcecoachspecialist dot com. You can find me
on social media under Tina Lynn Huggins that's hugs, and
on LinkedIn under Tina Huggins, on Instagram under Divorce Tina Win,
and on TikTok under divorce Tina and just find me
(39:11):
under all of that. And so Amy, in giving last
minute advice to somebody, what would your last minute advice
be to our viewers?
Speaker 4 (39:23):
Assemble a rock star team. Don't be afraid to look
high and dry and find the right person who is
a fit for you and who can get the job done,
whether that's an attorney, a coach, a financial advocate, a
real estate agent, a lender. Like you're going to have
a baseball team worth of people in your corner that
are looking out for your best interests and supporting you
(39:45):
through the process and so get those people on your
side early.
Speaker 5 (39:51):
That's great bit of advice.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
And so I can tell you that when you're going
through the divorce that having a realtor to kind of
help give you the comps is huge. And I can
actually point at Amy and I can say Amy is
huge at not only she's able to give you comps anywhere,
and it doesn't matter where you live. Amy's able to
(40:14):
help you in the early stages of selling your home
and in buying a new home somewheres else. She can
get you in touch with the perfect real estate agent
so that you have that one person that is in
your back pocket when it's time for you to make
those decisions. So I often talk about abuse in our show,
(40:37):
and we always give you the domestic violence, but I
also want to let you know that divorce is very
painful and very difficult, and suicide discussions in your head
go on. So if you are having trouble, please call
the National Suicide Prevention Hotline.
Speaker 5 (40:55):
It's a real simple number. Nine eight eight.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
Call this Suicide Prevention at ninet eighty eight and talk
to them. Let them talk you through this moment because
it's difficult to diss on your own and if you're
all alone at this moment, please reach out to somebody.
If you are in a bad situation right now, call
nine to one one or in the UK nine nine
(41:21):
nine get the police there. Press charges. The charges are
your key out of the abuse. Do not drop those charges.
Many times after charges are dropped, the abuse becomes worse
than it was before. Use that as your key out
of the divorce and reach out for help. Also, if
you are somebody you know where's dealing with domestic violence,
(41:42):
please call the Domestic Violence Hotline at eight hundred seven
nine seven two three three. That number again is eight
hundred seven ninety nine seventy two thirty three. If any
of this has been helpful, please like, comment, and share
it so that it can help others.
Speaker 5 (41:59):
Thank you so much much for joining me here today, Amy,
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
You're listening to WGSNDB going Solo Network Singles Talk Radio channel,
where we take a lighthearted and candidate approach to discussions
on the journey of relationship, laws, divorce, parenting, being single, relationships, building, dating,
and yes sex. Join our listeners and begin living your
best life.
You're listening to WGSNDB Go and Solo Network Singles talk
radio channel, where we take a lighthearted and candidate approach
to discussions on the journey of relationship, laws, divorce, parenting,
being single, relationships, building, dating, and yes sex. Join our
listeners and begin living your best life.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Hello and welcome to my show The Awakening here on WGSNDB,
The Going Bold and Going Solo Network. The information and
opinions expressed on this show are just that, the opinions
of the individual speaking based on their individual personal experience.
They are not intended to diagnose and do not constitute
professional advice or recommendations. So you know the pain, stress
(00:50):
and struggle that divorcing people go through, while there is
a way to find peace, insanity and assist the lawyer.
This all helps save thousands of dollars in your processing
your legal fees. So my name's Tina Huggins. I'm your
divorce coach, specialist, divorce consultant, restorative family mediator and conflictal
co parenting coach. And my guest today is Amy Slate.
(01:13):
Amy is an experienced real estate agent with passion with
a passion for helping others through life transitions. She created
the Breakup Broker to fill a much needed niche. Her
calm demeanor, extensive knowledge, and natural teaching ability make her
(01:33):
a trusted partner for the clients in need of guidance
and support with their real estate transactions while simultaneously going
through a divorce. So Amy, welcome and thank you for
joining us today.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
So I've talked with Amy before, and Amy and I
had a really good divorce conversation, and then as we
prepped Amy, or as Amy prepped for coming, she actually
shared some of her information that she experienced and the
reason why she actually started the Breakoup Broker, which I
(02:17):
thought is just a wonderful name. So Amy, kind of
tell us a little bit about why you ended up
back in Boston and opening up such an interesting real
estate office.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Sure it has been a wild ride, that's for sure.
So I was. I'm originally from New England.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
I've been I was in Massachusetts for my god almost
probably fifteen years before moving to Florida, where I was
with my then husband for three years. And one day
he came home from a trip abroad and said we're
done here. I was like, okay, And as you know,
your world gets turned upside down and you spend some
(02:59):
days eating oyster crackers in the guest room, and then.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
You pull your boots on and you figure it out.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
So I packed up my stuff and my cats and
drove back to Boston where I am now and kind
of had some reflective moments and said, Okay, I'm I'm
the only paycheck now.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
I've got to pay all my bills. I've got to
figure this out. I've got to build my business.
Speaker 4 (03:21):
I've been out of Massachusetts for a bit, so I
had to kind of rebuild my clientele and my network here.
And while I was doing that, I was on these
Facebook groups and support groups for women going through divorce,
and so many of them had so many questions about
do I sell the house? Do I have to sell
the house? How do I sell the house?
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Can I buy something?
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Where?
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Can I buy something? Do I need to revent? All
these real estate questions?
Speaker 4 (03:45):
And I was thinking, these are the same questions I'm having,
But I do it for a living, and so it's
only like this stressful for me. These poor women it
was like this stressful for them, And so I just
started thinking, Okay, I've got to rebuild my business, and
I also there's population of women that could really benefit
from my knowledge and expertise and just like my way
(04:06):
of being in the world and listening and understanding and
being supportive. And one morning I woke up and said,
the breakup broker, it's happening.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
And I've been working on.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
That since mid to late last year, just really honing
in on what these women need, how do I connect
with them, how do I build networks to support them.
That's one of those turning lemons into lemonade kind of stories,
I guess.
Speaker 5 (04:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
So, in the discussions that we've had, either via a
text or in person, you talk about the coheresive control,
so kind of in your definition, explain what cohersive control
is to so ore viewers understand.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Yeah, and I am not the textbook.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
No, I don't know the definition, but I will give
you my experience. I will say during my marriage or
probably probably a lot of it was happening that I
was not acknowledging was that. And as I continue to
unpack it in therapy, I'm like, oh, that was that?
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Oh that was that?
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Right?
Speaker 3 (05:09):
But what's kind of more front and.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
Center for me in this moment is he very quickly
drained all of our bank accounts and moved all our
joint money into accounts only he could access right, so.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
That financial control.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
He's dragging his feet on some things and not signing
documents so we can't sell some of our properties.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
He's not being responsive. He's being very adversarial and very threatening,
for lack of a better term.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
Actually vividly remember May perhaps of last year. I was
at a girlfriend's house and I got an email.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
And it said return the garage door opener.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
Because I had like left with my car and it
was on the advisor. It was the last thing on
my mind.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
I ignored it. I still own the home. I should
be able to access the garage if I want.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
The next day I got a nasty he was doubling
down on return that garage door opener, so I ignored it.
The third day I got another one, even nasty about
her return in the garage door open. And it seems
so petty now, but in hindsight, like I was feeling
unsettled every time I opened my inbox and finally just said, like,
I am not going to let him exert that level
(06:18):
of control over my day to day, feeling this pit
in my stomach, like waiting for the next thing to come.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
And so I went no contact. So thankfully, I've actually been.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
Relatively free of the course of control for the last
eleven months or so.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
So so our viewers understand a little bit about what
she did. Now you you don't have children, correct, correct,
And in Amy's case, she did exactly what I would
suggest that she had done. When we open that email,
those texts, when we open them, we have this not
in the pit of our stomach, and in fact, it's
(06:58):
really higher than that. It's like right underneath the heart.
It just hurts, and we're so afraid. Our heartbeat goes up.
We get anxious, and our anxiety levels are off the charts.
And so one of the things that I tell my
clients is that if it doesn't need communicated, then it's
(07:18):
like a gray rock.
Speaker 5 (07:19):
You just drop it and walk away from it.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Just walk away from it, because by continuing the conversation,
you continue to feel the way you are. And in
your case, Amy, he's the one that decided that he
wanted the divorce.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Correct.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Yep.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
Yeah, So you got to go through that shock and
awe of everything.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
And generally there's one person that's been that wants a
divorce and they come in and they tell you they
want the divorce, but they've been thinking about it for months,
if not years. I know in my case, it was
years trying to figure out how to get out of
the relationship. And because we've been thinking about it for years,
we were already ahead of the healing curve in that aspect.
(08:04):
And so here you were getting shocked with the I
want a divorce and like you said, you were eating
crackers in the other You needed to pull up your
bootstraps in and do something about it. And what you
did was, like you said, you made lemonade out of lemons,
(08:25):
So the lemon being your divorce and the lemonade being
this wonderful name and the way that you go about
about your work as a.
Speaker 5 (08:33):
Real estate agent.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
But I don't know how many people understand what a
real estate broker is, so you can you explain that
to us?
Speaker 4 (08:42):
Yes, and full disclosure, I'm actually not a licensed broker,
but in Massachusetts they do use the terms interchangeably. You
will hear someone call an agent a broker, a broker
an agent. It just happens, and it kind of flew
with breakup broker. So it all worked for me. But
in general I work for a broker, So there was
someone who's not my boss, say, but kind of like
the buckstops here, they're the ones who like enforce the
(09:03):
guidelines and the rules and all that. One of my
teammates is an associate broker, so I am surrounded by
many brokers. I just don't actually have that license.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
But it is almost like a next level of licensing
in the real estate space.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Okay, So, and the difference between a real estate agent
and a real estate broker is what.
Speaker 4 (09:24):
An additional coursework and a license, taking a test and
getting a license.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
But in your case, you can work. You can can
help people sell houses in other states and buy houses
in another state.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
Yes, and a lot of that. Even if you are
a broker, you're licensed by state. But what we can
do is we have a professional network. So I can
call my agent friend Wendy in Florida, who I adore,
and say, hey, Wendy, I have a client. I know
you're well versed in the divorce real estate world. I'd
love for you to help her. And so now client A,
who still a house in Florida, talks to Wendy and
(10:02):
Wendy takes for that and then we kind of just
refer business back and forth like that.
Speaker 5 (10:08):
And that's cool, I can tell you and for you
and for all of our.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Viewers, I use a realator in every single divorce case.
And the reason for that is is that my clients
are just they're like pouring money. They have to pay
for this, they have to pay for that, and then
they've got their attorney and la la la la. So
by having a realator, a realator can go in for me,
(10:33):
for my client and do a COMPS on the home
so they can basically get a free a free estimate
of what their house is worth, and that gives them
then they can take those comps and they can actually
use them in their divorce proceedings as proof of what
their house would be worth. So in this case, like
(10:57):
I've got I've got realatures all over the place, but
now having you in my back pocket is hued because
you you've got people all over the place too, Like
I've got this wonderful realator and we're trying to work
together in another divorce arena.
Speaker 5 (11:12):
And his name is.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Is Cortes and he works in Denver, Colorado, and he
is somebody that has helped me in several situations over there.
And what was really cool about him, which I guess
I just didn't see this and this fits into your
back pocket, is when I was talking to him, he
had he was listening to me by my house over here,
(11:38):
and I was struggling with the relator that I originally
started with, and he's like, no more, said I can
go out and find you a realator right now. You
just give me the okay, and I will go and
interview them for you, and I will find the one
that fits. I thought that was so cool that a real,
realator could do that. So that's technically what you do, correct.
Speaker 4 (12:01):
Yeah, absolutely, And I think you know there's so many
pieces of that when you are a divorcing woman, you
are up to your eyeballs in paperwork and calls with
professionals and all the things of like figuring out your
life that if someone keep to me and said I'm
taking that off your plate, I'm gonna go do that
for you, I would like have it, whatever it is,
just have it. I know you, I trust you, and
(12:21):
I think agent to agent, we know the questions to
ask more than just someone who hasn't bought us sold
the house in twenty years would and so we can
be a little bit tougher of critics. And I know
I'm also very.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Sensitive to I'm gonna sound like the kids, like the
vibe of the person.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
Right, because I know my client over here who is
divorcing and has real estate needs, They've got a certain
emotional state, they've got a level of stress, they've got
a level of just like chaos in their lives that
needs to be really tended to appropriately. And I love
all my real estate agent colleagues, but they're not all
well suited to deal with that necessarily. And so finding
(13:00):
an agent who not only is good at the real
estate piece, but is good at the person to person
interaction and supporting someone through an emotionally draining time is crucial.
Speaker 5 (13:11):
Yes, humm, it is so cute crucial.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
You know, when I was by in this house, I
wasn't going through a divorce. I was probably going through
a worse state in life where I had lost my husband.
And so I was here doing all of this as
a single woman, all by myself. And I know that
you focus your work towards women, but you'll work with men.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
Is that correct?
Speaker 4 (13:32):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (13:33):
And so I focus my work towards men, but I
work with women.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
And I can tell you as a single woman, I
came into this brand new home which is where I'm
sitting right now in my office. And when I first
came into the house, I didn't want it. One I
was afraid of the organization that was selling the house.
Speaker 5 (13:52):
And then two it was all white. Everything was white.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
The cabinets were white, the walls were white, ceiling was white,
floors were not but everything else was white. And so
it seemed very, I don't know, sterile to me. So
it was interesting because my realature did not say anything
to me.
Speaker 5 (14:12):
She just guided me to the next house.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
In the next house, well, I had put an offer
on another house that I thought was going to work great,
and then when we had people look at it, it
had flooding issues. And since we had just come out
of the hurricane, that was a big issue for all
of us hunting for houses at that time. We didn't
want to be anywhere that something could flood. So she says, well,
(14:35):
why don't we just go look again at this house?
And this is my guidance from spirit, right, So so
I get back in here and it's a whole different vibe.
Speaker 5 (14:47):
You know, here we use the word vibe again. It
was a whole different vibe.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
But this time the real ature showed the house in
a different way to me. She knew when I walked
in the first time, I wasn't real happy with it.
And so time she said, oh, you were worried about
your china, Hutch, I think it could go there, and
I think that your little cure cabinet that you talk
about could go over there, and your couch could fit
(15:11):
over here. So she was giving me this view of
what things could look like. So it was a whole
different thing. Now in your case, you're working with people
that are all over the place, and like Cortes when
he showed me the house, or when he told me
he could get a realtor to show me the houses
(15:32):
and stuff, he's all the way in Colorado. I'm over here.
So kind of explain to our viewers how that kind
of works so that you get paid.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Sure.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
So again, we have these professional networks, both within our
same companies and outside of companies. I've got like an
extensive social media connection network of people whose work I've
watched and learned, and I have had conversations and trust them.
But typically the way it works is called a referral fee.
So back to my friend Wendy in Florida. If I
called her and said, Wendy, I've got this client, she
(16:03):
needs to tell her house, and Wendy goes and takes
care of that. Wendy then sends me a portion of
her commission for me kind of providing the lead to her.
And that's just how we pass money around. And that's
what allows me to be able to do my work
for free too, because I can come in as a
consultant to these people, to these women who are already
(16:23):
paying attorneys, paying forensic accountants, paying private investigators, paying everyone
under the sun, and say like, I'm gonna do this
for you for free, and it's also gonna bring me
a lot of joy. And we're going to get your
house and your real estate stuff taken care of and
I'll get my money. But you don't need to worry
about it.
Speaker 5 (16:41):
That.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
I can tell you that when I offer that from
my clients, they're like free. I never thought about having
a realtor do the compst that we had to have
all the appraisals and stuff. And I'm like if you
don't need an appraisal, don't get one, because it's just
another expense. And in my client's cases, they're divorcing a
high conflict personality, a high conflict person and just like
(17:04):
your former husband, they're being attacked and in almost every
single one of their cases, they're being financially abused, just
like you just explained. And so to have somebody be
able to come in and do something for free just
touches them and and it makes their It makes their
whole day worth that smile for me. So what are
(17:29):
some of the questions, Amy that you have when when
these women or people start coming to you in the
middle of their divorce.
Speaker 4 (17:38):
Sure, so you know when as it pretends to real estate,
I always disclose I'm not a therapist or an attorney.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
I will talk real estate all day long.
Speaker 4 (17:46):
I will be a listening here, but I can't give
legal guidance or financial guidance. I think we talk about
in general just their needs. You know, their their their
buckets of needs. What do you need right now? Do
you need to stay in this house? Are your kids
in school? Do you work around the corner? Like? What
are the things that make you maybe want to stay
in this house. And if you do want to stay,
(18:06):
can you afford it? Or if you don't want to stay,
can you afford to leave?
Speaker 3 (18:10):
You know what?
Speaker 4 (18:11):
What are the different options that exist, because it's everyone's
situation is so drastically different, not just from what they
can afford, but what they want. Some women are like
I never want to see inside that house again. Like
I just want to be done with it.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
I want to move out. I want to put floral
wallpaper up and have my space right. And so it's
about what do you need, what do you.
Speaker 4 (18:30):
Want, and what's actually possible, and just talking through all
the logistics but also the emotions, like Okay, you want
to sell your house, Like, let's talk about how that's
going to feel, because it's a process. We've got to
pack up twenty years of memories and kids toys and
hashmarks on the doorframes of how tall they wear, and
so just helping them through that, like almost unburdening of
(18:53):
the house, of the emotional piece of the house is
really important too. But I need to understand from them,
like where are you on the spectrum of an emotional
basket case? Or like you're like, yeah, whatever, get me
out of here because they're all across the spectrum.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
I think, you know, like with me going back to me,
I had a house in Arkansas and I sold that house.
I needed to sell that house. That is what my
husband and I bought. And I would tell people he
was my dream and that was his dream, and I
can't live his dream without him, and so my dream
(19:28):
was to be with him, but I can't be so
I had to come over here.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
And so the.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Sale of that house was it was kind of daunting
in the fact that I was dealing with grief at
the same time, and I spent like I spent like
two and a half months devoid of human contact during
the time I.
Speaker 5 (19:46):
Was packing up my house, and.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
That process of selling that and getting out of there,
it hurt for me to be in there. It hurt
for me to sit there and to be there every
day because I was alone one and he wasn't there.
Speaker 5 (20:05):
And then buying this house.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Had its own excitement and fear, because you know, I
got to be able to afford the mortgage and work
through all of that. And I know that when my
clients come to me and they want to keep the
house so bad and it's because the kids they that's
all the home that they know. That's the one that
I hear the most. It's the only home my kids
(20:30):
have ever known.
Speaker 5 (20:31):
And I can tell.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
You, being a kid coming out of a divorce, I
still wanted out of that house so bad. I wanted
out of it because we could feel all of that
fighting and negative energy in the house.
Speaker 5 (20:45):
We hated that house.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
We just wanted to leave, and it was the only
house we knew as a family, basically.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
And I always ask the question that when I need
to get that answer out of a client's head and
they can't get past the emotional peace, I always say, Okay,
let's take the divorce out of the picture.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
Let's pretend you've just outgrown this house.
Speaker 5 (21:03):
Right.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
You can't fit your kids and their stuff and your
stuff in this house anymore. You need a bigger house.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
Would you still stay here because it's the only house
the kids have ever known, or would you move for
a better.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
Opportunity and a different opportunity, right?
Speaker 4 (21:16):
And I think they get so clouded with the divorce
and it's already disruptive to the kids and all these things,
which I understand, But like, let's just talk about the house.
The four walls in the roof, Like, let's talk about
the physical structure and how you changing that what or
would not impact things? And sometimes they they're like, oh,
I get it now. And kids are resilient, you know.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Or way more resilient than we are, as long as
we love on them. I think that's the thing.
Speaker 5 (21:44):
I was just.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Writing the story of my divorce twenty one years ago,
and the one thing that I didn't do well enough
was focused on my kids, who were older. But it's
still that the kids are so important and that's why
mom specifically moms don't want to leave that house. It's
the only kids that are the only house there kids
(22:05):
have ever known. And so, like you, I kind of
do something real simpler with my clients, real simple. It's
I just say, you know, let's just take the kids
with you as you go to find this place or
that you're going to rent, go take the kids with you.
Speaker 5 (22:23):
Let the kids tell you, you know, this is my room.
That's you know, because.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
They're going to get super excited about that. And when parents,
even grandparents that are divorcing, have done this, I tell them,
you know, take the kids with you, and they're like, wow,
I didn't know that it was going to be so
exciting for them to try and pick their own room,
or to see the park that was right close to
the house, or it's we've just got to change the
(22:48):
mindset of where we're trapping ourselves in because, like you
use the word vibe, I don't.
Speaker 5 (22:56):
I this is my preference for my clients.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
I really don't want my clients and their children inside
that negative energy. You know, it's what we as children felt.
It just felt so negative for us, and I don't
want my divorcing person to sit in that negative vibe.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
I think when you remove yourself from that energy and
that vibe and that everything your nervous system, it like
takes a vacation. It's finally like I can breathe again,
I can think clearly again, because all that negativity just
just shadows everything.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can. I can go back through
my divorce, you know, I lost. I get to kind
of measure this between the loss of a husband and
a divorce, and I can tell you the loss of
a husband was way, way worse, but the emotions were
(23:56):
way less intense as far as fear and far as
because I was afraid of my former husband, I was
afraid of the conflict. I was afraid of being yelled at,
and all of that was just so difficult for me
at that point that six months after I left, I
(24:16):
attempted suicide and that I haven't got to that part
I have felt when I'm driving alone when because my
husband and I used to be together all the time.
Speaker 5 (24:28):
We were together twenty four to.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Seven, and when I was driving once, I was like, well,
if I just drove off the road, nobody, you know,
I would be with you and nobody would know. And
it was only that long. But the pain wasn't there
like I did in the divorce. That divorce pain that
we feel when we go through that divorce, like gut
(24:50):
wrenching stuff is just horrible. Yep, yeah, yeah, And just
talking about it, we go back to that butt. So
what are some of the other things that you end
up talking with these women about when they're trying to
decide whether they're going to sell and possibly even buy.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
Yeah, A lot of the concern comes on the whether
even I see this come into play when they are
going to keep their house or when they're going to
sell and buy a house alone. There's a lot of this,
like what if the basement floods, what if the electricity
goes off? Like all these like what ifs, and I
want to shake them and be like you are the
(25:32):
most capable human being, and YouTube exists, right, Like I mean,
I was with a client this week and she was like.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
But what about this? I said, everything is figure outable.
We google it. I have fixed appliances. I have no
business fixing appliances, but I google some things, I try
some things, and poof, it gets fixed.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
You know.
Speaker 4 (25:51):
It's I think we worry about those kind of traditional
gender roles of like well the mantics care of the
house or you know, any of that stuff, And how
am I going to take care of that? How am
I going to know what contractor to call? How And
like like I'm a resource. I'm sure you have friends
who are resources. Like you're not alone, even though they
worry that, like it's gonna be just meeting her this
(26:11):
house all by myself, which is a huge undertaking.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
So just trying to like calm those fears and.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
Let them know like first of all, your basement's not
gonna flood, your roof's not gonna go, and you're not
gonna get termites like all in the same week. Like,
those things aren't gonna happen, So let's just take a breather,
and when something does, we figure it out.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
I laugh because even I come from a farm, so
so even even being married, I a lot of times
was the one fixing stuff. Now, my late husband, he
was very good at carpentry aspects, and so he he
did floor work.
Speaker 5 (26:48):
And so at one point in our in our other.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
House that we shared together, we had to tear out
the floor in our bedroom, literally clear to the dirt,
and we had to rebuild the foundational part of that
house because it had termites and it had got in
and destroyed one of the footers on the house. So
we opened up and they were going to charge us
four thousand dollars to do just that footer, and so
(27:14):
we had to fix the floor.
Speaker 5 (27:15):
So we jacked it up just.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
A little bit, moved out the footer, put another one in,
put it in, Blaze built the floor, and we did
that part together.
Speaker 5 (27:25):
But he had the knowledge of how to go through
and do that.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
But like I move into this house, fixed appliances done that,
one change, you know, plumbing aspects done that. Put my
dryer in and out with the dryer cord and that.
Speaker 5 (27:41):
Type of stuff or the vent pipe.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
And I did all of that, and if I couldn't
do it on my own, I've called somebody and said, hey,
do you know how to do this?
Speaker 5 (27:52):
Or could you tell me somebody.
Speaker 4 (27:53):
How or I could call Yep, it's all manageable, all
of it, every single bit.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Yeah. One of the things that when I was buying
this house, that I wanted with whatever house I was
going to buy is a newer roof and a newer
air conditioner, because I knew those were the things that
were that always went bad here in this part of
the country.
Speaker 5 (28:15):
And so I ended up.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
With a brand new house, so obviously brand new roof
and brand new air conditioner. And so those are things
and that that's where I work with my clients too.
Speaker 5 (28:29):
I work with that, that relationship with their higher power God.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
However, they say, but we've got we've got to look
at that that there is a way to make lemonade
out of the lemons, just like you did. And I
would say, I'm doing the same thing moving out here
with my son. I'm making my lemonade out of the
death of my husband, which was my lemons.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
Yep.
Speaker 4 (28:55):
Yeah, I think it's easy to get caught up in
the oh poor me and my life was just turned
upside down and all these things. And for me, it's
just a new opportunity to just does my Oh yeah,
she does my thing up here, says she designed a
life she loved, and like that's what leads me every day.
Like I get up and I make plans, and I
look at my calendar and I think about things and
(29:16):
do things that are all things that I love for me.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
Because that's all I have to worry about anymore.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Right right, And to me, that is one of the
best things. Now, Yes, I am lonely, but I've got
my son within ten minutes of me and have I
hang out at the tavern where they were.
Speaker 5 (29:35):
Him and his wife work all the time.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
And so I've made a chunk of friends, and several
of them have come over, you know. One of them
has joined me for dinner and I go out with
a girlfriend and we go and eat. And so it's
just when you when you move to a new location.
And this location was super important to me, one is
because of my son. But I had already met I'd
(29:58):
started coming out here ten years ago and had already
mapped people. So I had already developed beginner relationships with people,
and so those types of things were super important to me.
And I assume because you moved back to the Boston
area from Florida that you went back to friendships.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
I did.
Speaker 4 (30:19):
Yeah, I live so I previously lived in a very
different part of Greater Boston than I am now. And
I specifically moved here because two of my dear friends
are five minutes away.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
I go for a jog to the house on occasion.
Speaker 4 (30:30):
And just knowing that someone is there when I need
someone a few my cats because I'm working late, or
i need help moving a table because I'm only one person,
like any of those things. Having someone close, whether friend's family,
a good neighbor, or whatever is huge for sure.
Speaker 5 (30:46):
Yeah, and that brings us back to google the stuff.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
If you can't fix it and you don't have friends,
well some of your friends are going to know who
to call.
Speaker 5 (30:58):
So that's a really good one.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
So when people are you know, they're selling their house
and now they're moving into a new house, what are
some of the things that you help them look for?
Speaker 3 (31:12):
That's a that's a long answer.
Speaker 4 (31:15):
I think we have some conversations before we even step
foot into place, saying like, what are your non negotiables?
Do you need three but you have you have two
kids and you you need three bedrooms or you know whatever,
those those kind of bare minimum bedroom bathroom square footage.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
Do you need a garage? Do you want a yard? Like?
What are those things we're all looking for? And then
the other.
Speaker 4 (31:33):
Piece is I always want to make sure they don't
overspend because banks will approve you for a really large
amount that they say you are qualified for, but at
the end of the day, you probably want to pull
that back a smidge because you want to still go
on vacation and have nice dinners out and not be
house poor, as we say.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
And so I always try.
Speaker 4 (31:51):
And really reinforce their budget because it's easy to get
budget creep. They scroll on Zillow or wherever, and then
I get a phone call can we go see this?
Speaker 3 (32:00):
And I'd say, this is one hundred thousand.
Speaker 4 (32:02):
Dollars over your budget that we discussed, Like I need
to make clear that that's the case, and you tell
me where we're going from here, because I have a
duty to you to respect what you've kind of laid out.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
So I do try and.
Speaker 4 (32:13):
Make sure that the property is manageable for them from
a financial perspective as well as just a day to
day operations. Like, if you're a single woman, do you
need six thousand square feet six bedrooms and seven bathrooms
that you've got to clean, maintained, fixed repair.
Speaker 3 (32:28):
Probably not, even if you could afford it, right, So
what is just your day to day living look like?
Speaker 4 (32:34):
And how does that drive with this space or some
of the things I try and gently persuade and encourage
them good.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Yeah, And some of the things that I looked at
when I moved out here, I found a really cute
little house and it was It was about eighty thousand
less than this one that I bought, so it was
extremely affordable and my mortgage would have been about.
Speaker 5 (32:58):
Half what it is now.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
And I initially looked at it with a girlfriend who
was out visiting, and the area looked great, everything was wonderful.
I just worried that the house was way too little
because I have some big, chunky furniture and I was
so worried that it wouldn't fit in. So I looked
at another place and that's where I found the house
(33:22):
that I originally put my bid in on.
Speaker 5 (33:25):
And then after that one went down, I.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
Went back to that little tiny house and I decided
to drive further out, and this time I had a
different friend with me, and we're like, oh my god,
we can't live anywhere close to this mess. So that
was a huge thing for me, is that the community
needed to be conducive and this one that I'm in
(33:48):
is a brand new community and it was definitely within
my price range. I ended up having to put a
little bit more down on it to make sure that
I could afford.
Speaker 5 (33:58):
That things worked for me and that level.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
And my realature was huge in that aspect for me,
I really really adored her.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
Oh good.
Speaker 4 (34:12):
That makes me so happy because there are a lot
of great agents and a lot of not so great agents,
So when someone does have a great agent, I'm super
grateful for us as an industry.
Speaker 5 (34:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
So one thing before we start the closed process is
I happened to know and I knew this before I
started the sale of my home a year ago, that
there has been a big change in how the commission
aspects go. So can you kind of explain that for
our viewers?
Speaker 4 (34:39):
Yes, And the answer is there has been a change,
but really in practice, it's not so much of a change.
So historically, if you're selling a home, your agent will say, okay,
my fee is we'll use run numbers six percent. I'm
going to keep three percent of that commission, and I'm
going to give three percent to the other agent who
brings the buyer. So you, the seller, are still paying
(35:01):
six percent, but ultimately.
Speaker 3 (35:03):
I'm only going to get half and the other agent's
going to get half. That's the way it's worked for decades.
Speaker 4 (35:08):
Well, now, there was some lawsuits and lots of hubbub
and the upshot is sellers were feeling.
Speaker 3 (35:16):
As though they didn't have.
Speaker 4 (35:17):
Control over what was being given to that buyer's agent, right,
so they they were just at the mercy of well,
my agent said they're giving them three percent.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
So they wanted more control.
Speaker 4 (35:29):
So now what happens is in practice, when you are
representing the seller, you say, okay, fee for my services
is three percent, right, that's what you're gonna pay me. Now,
we can offer to pay a commission to a buyer's agent,
or what we say here is when offers come in,
(35:50):
the offer will say, you know, we're offering X one
hundred thousand dollars and we are requesting that the seller
pay me the agent three percent, So it's really just
who's asking for it. And they're more negotiable now, so
the seller could say, I like the purchase price, but
I'm not paying them three percent. I'll pay them two
and a half percent. And that's so we're seeing more
(36:13):
negotiation around commissions. But at the end of the day,
the money still most often comes out of the seller's pocket.
It's just that they have control over how much they're giving.
Speaker 5 (36:24):
Yeah, that's kind of sad for the realtor.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
I've heard some Colorado has some nasty stories going on
in northern Colorado, and then here there's a part of
that that changed where now you have to of course,
you have to put your earnest money down. But now
if and this is what happened to me, I ended
up having to get I had to throw five hundred
dollars away because I didn't take the other house. And
(36:52):
that's that's because they have to remove the house off
the market, so that is the lowest amount that you
can give them. And so that happened here in South
Carolina when all of that relature stuff changed. And so
now if you take a house and even though it
(37:12):
failed its inspection. Even though it failed in his inspection,
I still had to give them five hundred dollars because
they had to pull it off the market.
Speaker 5 (37:19):
For that short time.
Speaker 4 (37:21):
Nice and rules are different state to state, so we
don't have that exact situation here, but I do understand
that other states have some wacky things.
Speaker 5 (37:29):
Yes, each state is so different.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
So, Amy, I know that your contact information is going
to be here underneath the show and stuff. But can
you tell our viewers how to find you?
Speaker 5 (37:41):
You bet?
Speaker 3 (37:42):
So. The easiest is the breakupbroker dot Com. You'll find
just a.
Speaker 4 (37:46):
Little burb who I am, what I do, and some
ways to contact me. There on Instagram and Facebook, I
am at the Amy slate. Pretty easy to remember. You'll
see a lot of coffee and cats and hopefully some
travel soon and fair amount of houses.
Speaker 5 (38:02):
This is good.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
So, so now that we're coming to a close, I
can tell you that I'm a certified divorce coach. That
means that I'm trained in the complexities of divorce. I
specialize in the high conflict divorce arena, especially that from
a toxic partner. My late husband, my dad and myself
all experienced abuse in some form or a lot of forms,
(38:26):
And so not only do I understand that from the textbook,
I also understand it from the experience, just as Amy
expressed earlier, she knows it that also. So I can
be reached through my email at Coach Tina Lynn at
gmail dot com. That's co A c h t I
(38:47):
n A l y n n at gmail dot com.
My website is Divorcecoachspecialist dot com. You can find me
on social media under Tina Lynn Huggins that's hugs, and
on LinkedIn under Tina Huggins, on Instagram under Divorce Tina Win,
and on TikTok under divorce Tina and just find me
(39:11):
under all of that. And so Amy, in giving last
minute advice to somebody, what would your last minute advice
be to our viewers?
Speaker 4 (39:23):
Assemble a rock star team. Don't be afraid to look
high and dry and find the right person who is
a fit for you and who can get the job done,
whether that's an attorney, a coach, a financial advocate, a
real estate agent, a lender. Like you're going to have
a baseball team worth of people in your corner that
are looking out for your best interests and supporting you
(39:45):
through the process and so get those people on your
side early.
Speaker 5 (39:51):
That's great bit of advice.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
And so I can tell you that when you're going
through the divorce that having a realtor to kind of
help give you the comps is huge. And I can
actually point at Amy and I can say Amy is
huge at not only she's able to give you comps anywhere,
and it doesn't matter where you live. Amy's able to
(40:14):
help you in the early stages of selling your home
and in buying a new home somewheres else. She can
get you in touch with the perfect real estate agent
so that you have that one person that is in
your back pocket when it's time for you to make
those decisions. So I often talk about abuse in our show,
(40:37):
and we always give you the domestic violence, but I
also want to let you know that divorce is very
painful and very difficult, and suicide discussions in your head
go on. So if you are having trouble, please call
the National Suicide Prevention Hotline.
Speaker 5 (40:55):
It's a real simple number. Nine eight eight.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
Call this Suicide Prevention at ninet eighty eight and talk
to them. Let them talk you through this moment because
it's difficult to diss on your own and if you're
all alone at this moment, please reach out to somebody.
If you are in a bad situation right now, call
nine to one one or in the UK nine nine
(41:21):
nine get the police there. Press charges. The charges are
your key out of the abuse. Do not drop those charges.
Many times after charges are dropped, the abuse becomes worse
than it was before. Use that as your key out
of the divorce and reach out for help. Also, if
you are somebody you know where's dealing with domestic violence,
(41:42):
please call the Domestic Violence Hotline at eight hundred seven
nine seven two three three. That number again is eight
hundred seven ninety nine seventy two thirty three. If any
of this has been helpful, please like, comment, and share
it so that it can help others.
Speaker 5 (41:59):
Thank you so much much for joining me here today, Amy,
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
You're listening to WGSNDB going Solo Network Singles Talk Radio channel,
where we take a lighthearted and candidate approach to discussions
on the journey of relationship, laws, divorce, parenting, being single, relationships, building, dating,
and yes sex. Join our listeners and begin living your
best life.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.