July 24, 2025 • 48 mins
Join us for a powerful episode of The Awakening on NewStreamingNetwork.com as Host Tina Huggins, Divorce & "Narcissist Conflict" Specialist, welcomes TEDx speaker and international expert Dr. Annika Sorensen. A medical doctor, stress management mentor, and author, Dr. Annika shares essential insights on recognizing, managing, and reducing stress in today’s fast-paced world. Whether you’re navigating a breakup, burnout, or life’s pressures, this episode will inspire calm, clarity, and actionable steps toward wellness.
A bit more about Tina: Tina Huggins, CTA Life Coach certified, CDC Divorce Coach, CDC Transitions Coach, CDC Recovery Coach, TKG Restorative Family Mediator Certified, TKG Family Circle Certified. I have coached for over 30 years coming from the background of law enforcement and self-defense instructor. Tina lived in an abusive relationship ending up with a broken hand, separated ribs, and a dislocated leg from fights during the relationship.
Contact Info: coachtinalynn@gmail.com https://divorcecoachspecialist.com/
www.NEWStreamingNetwork.com. Home of NEW Streaming TV, Going Bold Media, Going Solo Media. and WGSN-DB Going Solo Network Radio, Podcasts, and TV.
More about Dr Annika: Dr. Annika Sorensen is a Medical Doctor, Stress Management Mentor, Author and International Speaker. She specializes in health and stress strategies and has a solid Swedish Public Health Care background of 35+ years. With profound personal, clinical, and scientific knowledge about the subject of stress, she made it twice to TEDx. She is certified by The Big Talk Academy and the author of two top-rated books on stress management “Take Stress from Chaos to Calm” and “My De-Stress Diary Today Dr Annika helps C-suite executives master their stress to become more effective and impactful leaders, be more productive, and increase the bottom line without burnout! She does it through speaking, workshops, an online course, and mentoring.
Connect with Dr. Annika: https://askdrannika.com/ https://x.com/AskDrAnnika
A bit more about Tina: Tina Huggins, CTA Life Coach certified, CDC Divorce Coach, CDC Transitions Coach, CDC Recovery Coach, TKG Restorative Family Mediator Certified, TKG Family Circle Certified. I have coached for over 30 years coming from the background of law enforcement and self-defense instructor. Tina lived in an abusive relationship ending up with a broken hand, separated ribs, and a dislocated leg from fights during the relationship.
Contact Info: coachtinalynn@gmail.com https://divorcecoachspecialist.com/
www.NEWStreamingNetwork.com. Home of NEW Streaming TV, Going Bold Media, Going Solo Media. and WGSN-DB Going Solo Network Radio, Podcasts, and TV.
More about Dr Annika: Dr. Annika Sorensen is a Medical Doctor, Stress Management Mentor, Author and International Speaker. She specializes in health and stress strategies and has a solid Swedish Public Health Care background of 35+ years. With profound personal, clinical, and scientific knowledge about the subject of stress, she made it twice to TEDx. She is certified by The Big Talk Academy and the author of two top-rated books on stress management “Take Stress from Chaos to Calm” and “My De-Stress Diary Today Dr Annika helps C-suite executives master their stress to become more effective and impactful leaders, be more productive, and increase the bottom line without burnout! She does it through speaking, workshops, an online course, and mentoring.
Connect with Dr. Annika: https://askdrannika.com/ https://x.com/AskDrAnnika
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're listening to WGSNDB Going Solo Network Singles Talk radio channel,
where we take a lighthearted and candidate approach to discussions
on the journey of relationship, laws, divorce, parenting, being single, relationships, building, dating,
and yes sex. Join our listeners and begin living your
best life.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Hello and welcome to my show The Awakening here on WGSNDB,
the Going Bold and Going Solo Network. The information and
opinions expressed on this show are just that, the opinions
of individuals speaking based on their individual personal experience. They
are not intended to diagnose and do not constitute professional
advice or recommendations. So you know the stress that divorcing
(00:50):
men and women go through, that overwhelm and the unpiece
that they have, well you can find that piece and sanity,
all while assisting your attorney. This saves you thousands of
dollars and hours and hours of stress. My name's Tina Huggins.
I'm your divorce Coach, specialist, divorce planning specialist, restorative family
(01:13):
mediator and conflictional co parenting coach, and I want to
welcome you and so today I'm Grace with doctor Anika Sorenson.
Doctor Anika is a medical doctor, stress management mentor, author,
and international speaker. She specializes in health and stress strategies.
(01:35):
With a solid Swedish public health care background of thirty
five years. With profound personal, clinical and scientific knowledge about
the subject of stress, Doctor Anika has made it to
the ted X stage twice. Doctor Anika is certified by
the Big Talk Academy and the author of two top
(01:57):
rated books on stress management stress Take Stress from Chaos
to Calm and My de Stressed Diary Today. Doctor Anika
helps c suite executives master their stress to become a
more effective, impactful leader, be more productive and increase the
(02:17):
bottom line without burnout. She does this all through speaking workshops,
online courses and mentoring. So welcome and thank you for
being here, doctor Annika.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Thank you so much for having me. This is going
to be fun.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
Yeah, we were talking before this. Poor doctor Anika, she
hasn't felt good this week.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
They're dealing with some illness in the household and she's
in Sweden, so they have summer colds just like have
summer colds. And so we were talking about, you know,
our topic for today and the stress and because doctor
Anik has actually been helping me along my stress level path,
(03:02):
I should say because as most of you probably know,
I lost my husband just about we're a week away,
not even a week, less than a week away from
a year ago, and so I've been going through different stressors.
And one of the things that I deal with, and
these are the things that doctor Anika can help me
deal with, is that when I go through stressful situations,
(03:26):
depending on how the stress affects my nervous system, I
break out in rashes and boils and hives and even
in other like terrors and lesions that sometimes happen around
my mouth or up around my hairline, and it causes
distress on the skin. And I've broke out here this
(03:48):
month off and on all month. And so stress is
something we all deal with. And then those of.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
You going through divorce you know how bad stress can get.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
So doctor Anakin can't tell us a little bit about
why you chose to specialize in stress.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Yes, like you said, I've been working as a family
practitioner most of my life in the Swedish healthcare system,
and as I had three teenage kids at home and
full time work, I was very close to reaching that
stress world myself and I realized I had to do something.
(04:30):
So I took a course in stress management to help myself.
That was my only purpose. And when I started to
see what it is, what the biology is, and going
back in my own life, I realized that I had
the biggest stress management teaching. Right when I got got
(04:55):
my medical exam, I was just about to go out
and working and helping people. And at that time I
lost first my brother thirty one years old, and one
week later our firstborn baby, she was ten weeks old,
and I was totally devastated. And that's where I pulled
(05:21):
myself together with help, because you need help in these situations,
whatever it is, you need to get help from someone outside.
So I got help, and I started to realize that
I had to take good care of myself to be
able to go on with my life. And that's where
(05:43):
I started to learn about stress management and how to
deal with it. And I had been doing that all
these years without really knowing that I was a stress
management coach for myself over those years, and of course
probably for many others because of the way I was
(06:07):
living my life and my doing and I was taking
care of patients and so on, so and that's when
I so taking this course, I realized I have to
do this more or less full time. I still work
as a doctor every now and then because I like
doing that and I want to keep up with the
(06:29):
knowledge and what's going on in life and how people
what life is out there. So it's a long journey
that I didn't know that got me where I am today.
And I usually say to people it's my favorite subject.
(06:50):
Stress is my favorite subject. And they shake their heads
and say, hmm, she must be crazy, and I say, no,
I'm not. I I'm very normal. I take a deep breath,
then go.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
On, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
I actually have studied natural health from a natural doctor's perspective,
and one of the very first papers that I wrote
was on stress and how stress affects us. And back
then was before I started breaking out in hives and
going through those types of stress things we just don't realize,
(07:29):
you know, how stress.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
Can affect us.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I mean, it can affect our sleep, it affects our
weight gain, it affects our mental cognitive aspects, it affects
our eyesight, our hearing. I mean, stress affects everything. And ultimately,
you know, coming from a natural standpoint, stress causes inflammation,
and inflammation is the root of all distress.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
It is, and also what people don't know and what
I I mean as a doctor, you kind of know
all these things. Stress, the stress reaction is a normal
biological reaction and you can't live without it. People think
that there would be appeal to take and all the
stress amos would go down to zero, And if they
(08:20):
go down to zero, you're dying. You did, because you
can't live without them. That's just the fact. It's you
can't argue about that. And so you have to learn
how to become friends with your stress system. That's what
I am working on now with my clients and with
everyone that I talk to more or less that you
(08:44):
have to find how do we function? And when you
know how we function, it's so much easier to react
or act in the right way and not go into
tantrum or in the loopholes and all that things that
most people, so many people go into because they don't
(09:06):
know how to deal with it.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Right, right, Yeah, So tell us then, doctor Anaka, how
do we make friends with our stress?
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (09:17):
How do we make That's a great question, that's.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
A very great question. Well, first you have to accept
This is a system that we got as human beings
around say two hundred thousand years ago. No one knows exactly.
But when we became the people that we are today,
and we have the same stress system today as we
(09:44):
had then, there is no real evolution on us. The
society is totally different because that was on the savannah
with the wild animals and it was eat or be
eaten and finding food and secure it for the night
and all those things, and that we were not up
at night because you could not hunt in the day
(10:10):
in the nighttime, so you were sleeping and in the
daytime you were searching for food. Today there is a
society of twenty four to seven and totally wrecks all
these systems that we have. So first you have to
accept that we do have a system that is an old,
(10:31):
anxious thing and we want to do the changes. And
we also have to accept that only I can do
my changes. No one else can do any changes for me.
I have to do whatever I need to do. And
when you have found out or accepted, okay, I do
(10:54):
want to do something about it, then you have to
get energy to get to to be able to change,
because it takes energy to do things differently, and you
need to do things differently because if you do things
the same way as you've always done, you're going to
get the same result more stress, more stress, more stress.
(11:16):
So you kind of to find a way to get
out of the hamster wheel or the rat race, or
whatever you would call it. You need to get more
energy than you have on a basic level in your
ordinary life. And here comes the thing that people think
is silly or whatever you would call it. But to
(11:40):
get the energy, there are three main and one extra thing,
and that is sleep well or take care of your sleep,
take care of your eating, take care of your physical activity,
and friendship. Those are the four things where you can
get energy. Just it's my bluesy and most people think that, well,
(12:17):
that's just not ordinary things, that's nothing. Come with a
better idea, There are no better ideas to get that energy.
You have to take care of your sleeping, you have
to take care of your eating, and you have to
be active in physical activity. And having good friends also
(12:38):
brings energy. When you have the energy, then you can
start looking at what on earth do I need to change?
You Look at this is how it is right now,
no judgment, This is how it is. It may be
really bad, but you're not going to put on your judgment.
(13:00):
You're just gonna say this is how it is. I
don't like it, but this is how it is, and
this is how I want it to be. And that
goes for the money situation, for friendships, for closer relations,
for hobbies, for work, for where you live, for all
(13:22):
the things in life. It goes the same. It's the
same question where am I today? Where do I want
to be? And from there you need to take to
start taking steps.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
And sorry, we have to go through that when we're
not feeling well.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Two seconds I think I don't want you to hear
the worst part. Anyway, you have to You have to
get the energy to be able to do these changes.
And all of this that, the getting energy, the doing
(14:11):
the changes is all mindset. It's all something I need
to do. I need to understand. You're not gonna eat
different unless you tell yourself. You're not gonna go for
a walk unless you tell your feet to go. You're
not gonna try to sleep better unless you work on
(14:35):
your mindset on how you sleep. And you're not gonna
get good friends unless you are mindful of who you
are and how you do things. So and also the
first step that's mindset. You have to decide I want
to do this, and then the mindset this is how
(14:57):
I get the energy. And then you have the mind
said I need to do these changes to get a
different life. And that's where you tell yourself how do
I want to live my life? And that's where you
become friends with your stress system.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
Yeah, I know this month has been kind of off.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
I had a routine going and everything got into place,
and I was doing really great in April and May,
and then June got here and I've just kind of
been off beat all month on June. And those are
things that I tell my clients we have to do.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
And I know when I don't work out, specifically cardio.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Cardio is the most important thing for me, just getting
that blood flow and my lungs to move. When I
don't do any cardio work, then I just feel lazy.
I feel like I don't want to get up and
work out. But if I do a really good workout today, tomorrow,
I wake up with energy, you know. And I finally
(16:00):
started eating more healthy in May. I finally started cooking,
and for me, I was having just the most difficult
time with the food aspect. I would go buy it
and it would just go bad because I didn't want
to cook. So I started ordering meal prep kits from
home chef, and for me, it was like perfect because
(16:22):
I didn't have to think about anything. I just put
it all together, followed the instructions, and it's been heaven.
It's helped me to eat a healthier life or healthier meals.
And now I'm sleeping and my workouts are finally starting
to come back, so I'm finally getting back to normal.
Speaker 4 (16:41):
But I think the.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Problem that I have had and most people have, is
is once we get to go really good, we fall
off the wagon and then we just wash our hands
of it and we're like, uh, it didn't work.
Speaker 4 (16:55):
But it's just you just fell off the wagon. That's it.
You just get back up.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
It's consistency. I mean, it's not going to happen anything
in the first week or first month even no, not
big things. But if you're consistent, you're going to feel
so much better and things are going to change. And
if you do changes that are good for you, other
things will come too that you might not have thought
(17:23):
of or that you also want to change, but take
it in a later stage. But they will come because
of your changes. And it's also a lot about how
you appear in life, because all all emotions are contagious,
(17:49):
bad emotions, angriness, you know, bitterness, everything is. It sticks
on people who come there. So does happiness or smiles
or joyfulness. That sticks on people who get by. And
(18:10):
because you pick up what you feel from others, And
if you are in a group where everyone is grumpy
and complaining, you will be complaining, even if you don't
want to, even if your mindset from the beginning was
I'm not going to be complaining, but after a while,
you can't really resist it. And all this, all of
(18:31):
these things that we do and how it works is
from back two hundred thousand years ago when we became
the people that we are today. And like I said,
we can't really change that part. We can change a
way of handling it and handling it in the life
(18:52):
that we live today, in this twenty four to seven world,
and decide, Okay, I'm not going to leave the twenty
four to seven world. I am going to sleep at
night because I know I will feel so much better
from that. I'm not going to eat all the junk
food that is fed us from all over. I am
(19:15):
going to be a be careful of what I put
in my mouth, and I am going to do it
on a regular basis because I know that I will
feel better when I do that. And when you've done
that for a while, it will not it will be
something you really want to stay with.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
M hm.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
You know, I think back as you're talking, you know,
two hundred plus thousand years ago whatever, with the caveman
type people. How there wasn't things back then that caused
inflammation like poor diets cause inflammations today you know, boxed foods, McDonald's,
(19:55):
those types of things cause cause us to have inflammation,
and back then they didn't have that. So the things
that caused that was things that happened over the course
of human history, and we end up with bad foods
we end up with with. Back then, we had to
(20:17):
get up, we had to hunt for food, we had
to kill the food. We had to do those things,
which was our physical activity. Nowadays we have to have
we have to force physical activity in the form of
running or things like that, because our lives, like mine
definitely is very sedentary. I sit here in front of
my computer all day long, and those are unhealthy, unhealthy
(20:39):
for my bones, my ligaments and all of that. And
that's where information starts causing problems. We see it with
the heat, you know, our ankles start to swell up,
our feet start to swell up, and that inflammation. If
we don't drink our water, which is the biggest part
of that, then we have we have issues as we
(21:02):
move forward. And with my with my divorce clients, that's
one of the things I always ask them, you know,
what's your self help routine? You know, Like I have
one client, I give her homework every session about what
she needs to do to take care of her next
or tonight or this week, and it's all about.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
You know, sleep.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
She is lucky enough to go to Hawaii. She's got
property in Hawaii. I tell her long watch walks on
the beach and she will drink wine. And I said,
you can have a long walk on the beach with
a fancy wine glass and just hold that wine and
sip on the wine and listen to the water.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
And those types of things.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Are so so important for our mental health, which is
the stress. And it's where stress starts to cause this problems.
Is up in here.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
Absolutely no. If we live today is not We're not
made for that. So that's why I tell people you
have to get to become friends with the system. This
is how it works. If I go as it works,
I am going to feel so much better. I'm going
to be healthier, I'm going to have more energy, I
(22:19):
can do more things, and I will be happier. And
things like the divorce. I mean a divorce can be
extremely hard, and with the economic problems and all and
children problems and all of those things. And in those situations,
the more you have the possibility to take care of
(22:42):
yourself first in a good way with the coach or
with someone holding your hand, then you are going to
be able to go through that divorce in such much
better way and so much easier. I'm not saying it's easy,
but it can be easier, and you will make more
(23:07):
rational decisions and not just jump on whatever. No, you know,
when the anger comes, you do all these things that
you regret afterwards.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
I know that right after my husband died, I sat
on the couch for probably two straight months. I would
get up and do very little, and I dang sure
wasn't eating. I don't think I cooked the whole time.
After that, I don't think I cooked one meal. I
would go out about every second or third day and
go get something to eat, sometimes from the deli. But
(23:45):
i was craving chicken, and that's all I really wanted
to eat was chicken. I'm still not quite where I'm
hungry for vegetables, and that's really rare for me.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
I can just eat a huge.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Big bowl of steamed broccoli or peas, and I have
not craved that. My body is needed the protein and
it has craved, which is not healthy, the carbs, the
refined carbs, so that of like checks cereal or things
like that, not eating or drinking milk. But I'm eating
(24:21):
a lot of cheese, which can also cause issues. But
those are the things, cheese and chicken. So I've had
to incorporate the vegetables into my meal so that I'm
getting them with my meal.
Speaker 4 (24:37):
So it's all a deal.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Yeah, And that is as a part of becoming friends
with your system is that you know that you need
to do that, and you do put the piece of
it even if it's not perfect, and it doesn't have
to be perfect, and it doesn't have to be every
day but it has to be on the in the
(25:01):
long run and on the main scale, so to speak.
So if you care for yourself in a good way,
most of the time, you can eat candy or chocolate
or have a drink or whatever every now and then,
but not every time every day mm hmmm.
Speaker 4 (25:23):
And and I.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Do eat like one square sometimes two squares of dark chocolate.
It's the only thing that that I tend to eat
on a regular basis that has sugar in it. Other
than that, I don't. I don't even carry sugar in
my house because it's just not something I use on
anything for anything. Sometimes I would use it on strawberries,
(25:48):
but it's very.
Speaker 4 (25:49):
Rare, you know.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
I want to go back to something you said in
the very beginning of our talk. You said that you
went through the stuff the loss of your brother and
then your child, and you were going through school, so
there was lots of stress and everything at that point,
and you said that you reached out for help.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
I think that is the most.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Important thing that I have done since my husband's died.
You know, I've reached out to you, I've reached out
to my therapist, I've reached out to father Raphael I've
just I've just gone through so much of reaching out
and talking to people so that I have that. You
talked about the friends, the connection. I do know I
(26:33):
need physical you know, face to face, like I can
feel the energy of the human I do know I
need that.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
Yes, and we do need that as human beings. We
are still animals on the savannah. We we that's who
we are, So we do need need. And also you
said you reached out to friends and to others, and
we do need when we need help in a really
(27:05):
serious what is happening or whatever you would call it,
Like when I lost my two dear ones, I needed
to get help from someone who was not part of
my life because they are biased. They can be the kindest,
(27:27):
the best advisor, and so on, but they would always
be a biased thing towards me. So you need to
have someone that is outside your life. And it's good
to have friends that can support you. And I remember
at that time, when I walked on the streets in
(27:49):
my town, people went over to the other side of
the street for a long time, and it was terrible
because people didn't dare to meet me, people that I
thought were my friends.
Speaker 4 (28:05):
Yeah, because they don't know how to handle, you know,
and that's.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
They don't know what to say, yeah, and they cannot
help you. So you need to have someone who dares
to hear what you're talking about, because it's very scary
when someone comes and say, while I lost my brother
and my baby from two totally different reasons within one week.
(28:30):
That is not normal, and that is very scary. And
then you need to have someone who can sit there
and say, I hear you.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
And and I think in divorce it's it's even worse
when you have a friend or family member that's based.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
Because there are two sides.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Yeah, Because you talked earlier about how emotions are contagious.
When you spat out all the crowd that you're going
to spat out about your soon to be ex and
they agree, then you have this bomb fire within just minutes.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
And that is not some emotions.
Speaker 4 (29:11):
You're going to want to drink, You're going to want
to do all kinds of negative stuff just because of
that conversation. So I tell people, if.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
You're going to talk to your friends or your family,
make sure you tell them that you just want them
to listen. You don't want them to take sides you
don't want them to make suggestions. You just need to
defrag this little situation and then go out to dinner
and enjoy a good laugh.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
Yeah, we can talk about all the good stuff, all
the other things in life, because there's so many other
things and exactly, and that's why you need to have
someone outside who can hear and who can say, Okay,
(30:00):
she thinks that this man is a monster or vice
versa this woman, But that doesn't affect me as a
coach or a mentor. I can hear what she or
is saying, and I can kind of sort it and
put the right questions in there, and that will help
(30:23):
the person to actually think, what am I saying, What
am I thinking? What am I believing? What are my feelings?
Speaker 4 (30:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (30:33):
Yeah, and that's huge and very important because you know,
we'll go back to the exercise and everything. I just
recently talked on another podcast about poor an addiction, and
one of the things that's so important for stress and
things that cause distress to our body, you know, like
(30:57):
a car accident or the loss of loved ones like
you and I experienced, is we do need to talk
about it. Sometimes therapists are not the best place for
some of us to talk to about it because we
don't need to dig. In fact, digging, in my case
with my clients only makes things worse. We just keep
bringing up more garbage and more garbage that we have
(31:19):
to deal with. Can't as a mediator, I always say,
I can't mediate the past. All I can help you
do is set a foundation for your present and work up.
But when we talk, there's also that part of exercise.
So in natural medicine, our memories, our distress situation, the
(31:41):
loss of my love, my husband, and the loss of
your brother and your baby found its way to a
body part. It locked itself somewhere in your body. And
in this case it can be locked now in your legs,
but it's more likely in the hips and in the
low back. And if we don't do so some physical
activity to deal with.
Speaker 4 (32:03):
That, then we're going to hold on to it.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
And so when I was talking about the porn addiction,
I said, you know, first off, they need to find
a coach somebody that can help them through that, because
that is something that's very difficult to break, and in
certain religions it's very taboo, so nobody talks about it,
and it makes.
Speaker 4 (32:24):
It even worse in the Catholic religion.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
What is wonderful about that is they have to confess,
So they go into the confessional and confess. So they're
talking about their issue, and then the father gives them
their prayers and tells them how many times to go
and say their prayers on the rosary. And they're using
their hands to go across a rosary and that, although
(32:50):
is small motion, is still motion enough to get the brain.
They've talked and now the brain is moving through everything
and they're talking about their prayer and so it's just
so important. Like doctor Anika is explained, you have to
have the food, your diet, you have to have your sleep,
you have to have your friends.
Speaker 4 (33:10):
She talked about that, and the exercise.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
So friends are about talking and laughing and exercises.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Remove all of that.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
And having doctor Anika as your stress doctor, you're talking
to her, you're learning, and you're growing. So these are
super deeper important things.
Speaker 3 (33:31):
Yeah, and the like exactly like you said, therapy can
be almost harmful in the wrong way because if you
just keep digging and digging, it's not going to move
you forward what you need to have. Okay, look back,
what happened and while we don't want that to happen again,
what are we going to do to move forward? So
(33:54):
that's what I learned from my journey. It was I
was going to start working as a doctor. I had
no clue what am I doing. I studied, I've studied
so much. I had all this knowledge, but I didn't
have the how to really because I was just starting
(34:15):
off and I had this really big hurt in my bombs.
But I had to look forward. I had to have help.
And I worked in the actually in a family practition
place right then, the first place where I worked, and
(34:36):
they were the kindest people. They said, okay, you can
have two patients a day. We help you with everything.
And I could take one step by a time, and
then I could move. And then after a couple of weeks,
I took three patients a day, and then you you know,
(34:56):
you added up. Because I got the help, I could
move forward and see forward and be helped forward. And
sometimes you have a backlash because there were, of course
patients who came with stories that affected my heart because
of whatever they said that it touched me because of
(35:17):
my brother or my baby. So it was not all
the way up. It was up and down, but it
was upwards and forward because you need to go forward.
And I don't call myself today a coach. I call
myself a mentor because I use my medical knowledge in
(35:38):
my coaching. So that's why I call myself a mentor,
because I actually do help people to think of what's
best from a biological perspective.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Yeah, and I don't like the word coach anyways, because
it just seems like everybody gets trained and then they're
trying to help you with things that maybe they're not
trained enough on helping.
Speaker 4 (36:03):
Like if I'm going to go to a coach on.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
Stress, having a doctor that has been trained in stress
is a whole different you know, person, a whole different
realm of somebody to go and get help with.
Speaker 4 (36:19):
So I think that's super important.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
I do feel you know the process, you know, you talk,
you talk about how it's up and down, but you
have to go forward.
Speaker 4 (36:29):
So I tell people this all the time.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
They're like, oh, I'm so sorry that your husband died,
and then they they it's like I almost have reached
that part that I get tired of telling people just
because I'm like, now now I'm not trying to draw
you down it's I'm I'm done getting drawn down.
Speaker 4 (36:45):
It's time for me to move forward.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
And I tell them, you know, I'm here, and the
only way out is through. I have to keep going.
It's the same with divorce. It's the same with stress.
It's the same with loss, the loss of your brother
and you're baby, last of my husband. The only way
out is to keep going forward, to go through it.
Speaker 3 (37:06):
Yeah, and it's the same where I work mostly today
in business leaders it's you. They can sit in the
well for hours about how bad things are, but that's
not going to help anybody. You have to see, Okay,
this was it. It wasn't really good. We don't want
to be there, But how do we move forward? That's
(37:30):
what I want. And then I, from my perspective, see
this is a more biologically correct or gainable or whatever
you would call it in English way than doing it
that way. But okay, you choose. So if you think
that way is best for you, to go ahead. I'll
hold your hand and we'll take one step at a time.
(37:53):
What they take one step at the time, and I'll
just kind of help them to stay on track more
or less. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
Yeah, And and that's kind of where I've been I had.
I didn't talk with a therapist or Father Rafayel for
two weeks and it was interesting because I didn't notice
it right away, but when it got close to my
appointment with Father Rafayel, I was like, oh, not talking
(38:25):
with anybody. That's why this last two weeks hasn't gone great.
It was just upheaval disruption. I couldn't work out, I
didn't I wasn't sleeping great, my diet wasn't great. It's like, oh,
having an accountability partner, having somebody to talk about the
issue is really good. But but like when we talk
(38:48):
about therapists, and not all therapists do this either. There's
some wonderful therapy out there right now where they're actually
taking their clients to the park and walking in the park.
But we don't always need to dig, and especially in relationships,
like I deal with the relationships.
Speaker 4 (39:06):
But he did that.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
But she did this, and it's like, okay, and that's
in the past and there's absolutely nothing we can do
about that. We can't make it go bye bye. They
have said they're sorry or they haven't, and the reality
is is we have to go forward now. In my
case with my clients, most of them are separating, So
it's not about the other one at all.
Speaker 4 (39:28):
Now, it's live your life.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Yeah, your choice is your mental thinking, the things you.
Speaker 3 (39:36):
Choose to do now. Yeah, everyone lives their own life.
Like I said earlier, I can't eat for you, I
can't sleep for you. I can't do anything for you.
You have to do that yourself. I can help you
to see what you need to do and to actually
take that step if depending on what it is. I
(40:00):
can't do it for you. Mm hmmmm hm.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
And as we start to come to a close here,
doctor Anika, I know that all of your your information
where they can find you on the platforms and everything
is going to be linked in the notes the show
notes below. But can you tell people how they can
get a hold of you? I mean here, we're in
(40:26):
the States and you work with people all over the
world just like I do. So how can people get a.
Speaker 3 (40:32):
Hold of you? Well, I think the easiest way is
to go to my website and you see that on
the here askdoctor Anika dot com because there is a
page for connect or contact or whatever it's called, and
and in there you can just write what's it about?
Very simple first lines and where you are and if
(40:56):
there are any specific things you need you need me
to know, just as a start, and then I will
always answer personally.
Speaker 4 (41:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
And then you mentioned something about courses earlier or I
mentioned that.
Speaker 3 (41:11):
Yeah, I am in the process of doing of making
an online course that is going to be it's oh
right now, I can't even remember the name of it.
Clear mind leadership. Ah, that's cool for business people. Anyone
(41:32):
can do it because it's the same. Like I said,
stress is part of our biology, and it doesn't matter
who we are. We have the same system. If we
are black, red, green, yellow, brown, white, whatever, if we
are some tall, short boys, girls, anything in between, it
(41:53):
doesn't matter because we all have the same system. So
anyone can do it. It is but it's a set
for business people.
Speaker 4 (42:05):
Yeah, oh, very good.
Speaker 3 (42:06):
And that goes through all what I very briefly mentioned here.
The first part is mindset, and the second is taking
care of your body, and then the third part is
taking care of the life around you, and in most
of the cases is the business part. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:25):
Yeah, And from a business point of view, I could
take that. Even though I'm a one man band, basically
thing I work with other groups of people by anything
that can help us. And I can tell our viewers
that that doctor Anaka is a I mean, obviously she's
(42:48):
got the medical knowledge and she can help with that
and how the stress connects with problems like I was
talking about skin eruptions and stuff, and so go to
her website ask doctor Anika dot com. Go to her website,
and I'm sure right that when you finish these courses,
they'll be able to access them from your website.
Speaker 3 (43:09):
Too, Absolutely, absolutely great. Great, Yeah, you can read more
about why what I do.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
And that's that's a great I mean, it's all right there,
so that's a perfect place for them to go. So
a little bit about me. As we talked about in
the beginning, I'm a certified divorce coach, meaning that I'm
training the complexities of divorce. I've also dealt with abuse.
Speaker 4 (43:36):
In my marriage.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
My father and my late husband were also abused. My
father almost murdered in a relationship. So not only do
I know the knowledge of divorce from my books, I
also know it because I've been through it. So you
can reach me through my email at Coach Tina Lynn
at gmail dot com. That's COO A C. H. T.
(43:58):
I n A L why and at gmail dot com.
You can find me on my website also at Divorcecoachspecialist
dot com. You can also find me on social media
Facebook under Tina Lynn Huggins, h u gg I n S,
LinkedIn under Tina Huggins, Instagram under Divorce Coach Tina Lynn,
(44:21):
TikTok under Divorce Tina. So, one of the things that
I think is super important here, doctor Anika, is can
you give our viewers a little bit of a last
minute tip right here?
Speaker 3 (44:36):
Don't complicate it. That's kind of my baseline in life.
Go back to basics. Look what's how it is now
without the judgment, and start from there because that's the
best place where you can actually go and find your
(44:56):
best life. Don't look back, and don't try to look
forward in the sense that you'll fear whatever, because most
of the things we fear in the future will never happen.
Go to that now and see this is where I am,
where am I heading?
Speaker 4 (45:17):
And I love that. I think that.
Speaker 2 (45:20):
You know, I've helped people get into AA programs, and
one of the things that they talk about in AA
is not too forward, think too far, just to think
about this moment a little bit further out and try
and stay sober. And in the case with what you
just said, Doctor Anika, you don't want to think so
far out there that fear then drives you back into
(45:43):
the stress that you're dealing with. So I love that
bit of information, and so my advice to our viewers is,
don't let your stress sit there. Do something, find help,
get a hold of dotor Anika, go to her website
at least read stuff, even just getting books on how
(46:06):
to deal with stress. Get your sleep, eat properly, get
the physical activity, and spend some wonderful laughter time and
time with your friends. Just like doctor Anika has said,
the most important part for me to tell you is
don't let the stress sit there because it'll eventually cause disease.
So please take care of the stress levels now before
(46:29):
they get to be too bad. So many people, including myself,
going through stress and difficult times such as divorce, find
ourselves with the thoughts of suicide. Please please reach out.
You can reach out here to the National Suicide Prevention
Hotline at nine eight eight here in the States. In
the Netherlands it's one point one three and get the
(46:54):
support that you need for that timeframe, and then if
you are in need of a police officer right now,
some form of domestic violence or something.
Speaker 4 (47:02):
Here in the.
Speaker 2 (47:02):
States it's nine to one one, in the UK it's
nine nine nine, and in the Netherlands it's one one two.
Speaker 4 (47:09):
Once the police get there, press charges.
Speaker 2 (47:11):
The charges are your key out of a very difficult
and abusive relationship.
Speaker 4 (47:16):
Once you drop those charges.
Speaker 2 (47:19):
The abuse that will happen after you drop the charges
is in many cases much worse than the abuse beforehand.
Take that time and start heading towards the divorce. At
this point, this is the safest time that you can
go for the divorce. Set the charges, keep the charges,
and move forward. If you or somebody you know is
(47:39):
dealing with domestic violence, please call the Domestic Violence Hotline
at eight hundred seven nine nine seven two three three.
That number again is eight hundred seven ninety nine seventy
two thirty three. And I ask you to please like, comment.
Speaker 4 (47:53):
And share this to help others.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
And doctor Annika, thank you so much for being here today.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
Thank you so much for having me. It was a
fun call and talk, even though we are talking about
serious stuff and so on. You have to kind of
look from at life from the bright side. It's going
to be so much easier.
Speaker 4 (48:22):
Well, and again, thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (48:23):
And now we'll let you take your space and get
way down so you can rest and heal.
Speaker 3 (48:30):
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (48:33):
You're listening to wgsn dB going Solo Network Singles Talk
Radio Channel, where we take a lighthearted and candidate approach
to discussions on the journey of relationship, laws, divorce, parenting,
being single, relationships, building, dating, and yes sex. Join our
listeners and begin living your best life.
You're listening to WGSNDB Going Solo Network Singles Talk radio channel,
where we take a lighthearted and candidate approach to discussions
on the journey of relationship, laws, divorce, parenting, being single, relationships, building, dating,
and yes sex. Join our listeners and begin living your
best life.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Hello and welcome to my show The Awakening here on WGSNDB,
the Going Bold and Going Solo Network. The information and
opinions expressed on this show are just that, the opinions
of individuals speaking based on their individual personal experience. They
are not intended to diagnose and do not constitute professional
advice or recommendations. So you know the stress that divorcing
(00:50):
men and women go through, that overwhelm and the unpiece
that they have, well you can find that piece and sanity,
all while assisting your attorney. This saves you thousands of
dollars and hours and hours of stress. My name's Tina Huggins.
I'm your divorce Coach, specialist, divorce planning specialist, restorative family
(01:13):
mediator and conflictional co parenting coach, and I want to
welcome you and so today I'm Grace with doctor Anika Sorenson.
Doctor Anika is a medical doctor, stress management mentor, author,
and international speaker. She specializes in health and stress strategies.
(01:35):
With a solid Swedish public health care background of thirty
five years. With profound personal, clinical and scientific knowledge about
the subject of stress, Doctor Anika has made it to
the ted X stage twice. Doctor Anika is certified by
the Big Talk Academy and the author of two top
(01:57):
rated books on stress management stress Take Stress from Chaos
to Calm and My de Stressed Diary Today. Doctor Anika
helps c suite executives master their stress to become a
more effective, impactful leader, be more productive and increase the
(02:17):
bottom line without burnout. She does this all through speaking workshops,
online courses and mentoring. So welcome and thank you for
being here, doctor Annika.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Thank you so much for having me. This is going
to be fun.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
Yeah, we were talking before this. Poor doctor Anika, she
hasn't felt good this week.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
They're dealing with some illness in the household and she's
in Sweden, so they have summer colds just like have
summer colds. And so we were talking about, you know,
our topic for today and the stress and because doctor
Anik has actually been helping me along my stress level path,
(03:02):
I should say because as most of you probably know,
I lost my husband just about we're a week away,
not even a week, less than a week away from
a year ago, and so I've been going through different stressors.
And one of the things that I deal with, and
these are the things that doctor Anika can help me
deal with, is that when I go through stressful situations,
(03:26):
depending on how the stress affects my nervous system, I
break out in rashes and boils and hives and even
in other like terrors and lesions that sometimes happen around
my mouth or up around my hairline, and it causes
distress on the skin. And I've broke out here this
(03:48):
month off and on all month. And so stress is
something we all deal with. And then those of.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
You going through divorce you know how bad stress can get.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
So doctor Anakin can't tell us a little bit about
why you chose to specialize in stress.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Yes, like you said, I've been working as a family
practitioner most of my life in the Swedish healthcare system,
and as I had three teenage kids at home and
full time work, I was very close to reaching that
stress world myself and I realized I had to do something.
(04:30):
So I took a course in stress management to help myself.
That was my only purpose. And when I started to
see what it is, what the biology is, and going
back in my own life, I realized that I had
the biggest stress management teaching. Right when I got got
(04:55):
my medical exam, I was just about to go out
and working and helping people. And at that time I
lost first my brother thirty one years old, and one
week later our firstborn baby, she was ten weeks old,
and I was totally devastated. And that's where I pulled
(05:21):
myself together with help, because you need help in these situations,
whatever it is, you need to get help from someone outside.
So I got help, and I started to realize that
I had to take good care of myself to be
able to go on with my life. And that's where
(05:43):
I started to learn about stress management and how to
deal with it. And I had been doing that all
these years without really knowing that I was a stress
management coach for myself over those years, and of course
probably for many others because of the way I was
(06:07):
living my life and my doing and I was taking
care of patients and so on, so and that's when
I so taking this course, I realized I have to
do this more or less full time. I still work
as a doctor every now and then because I like
doing that and I want to keep up with the
(06:29):
knowledge and what's going on in life and how people
what life is out there. So it's a long journey
that I didn't know that got me where I am today.
And I usually say to people it's my favorite subject.
(06:50):
Stress is my favorite subject. And they shake their heads
and say, hmm, she must be crazy, and I say, no,
I'm not. I I'm very normal. I take a deep breath,
then go.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
On, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
I actually have studied natural health from a natural doctor's perspective,
and one of the very first papers that I wrote
was on stress and how stress affects us. And back
then was before I started breaking out in hives and
going through those types of stress things we just don't realize,
(07:29):
you know, how stress.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
Can affect us.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I mean, it can affect our sleep, it affects our
weight gain, it affects our mental cognitive aspects, it affects
our eyesight, our hearing. I mean, stress affects everything. And ultimately,
you know, coming from a natural standpoint, stress causes inflammation,
and inflammation is the root of all distress.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
It is, and also what people don't know and what
I I mean as a doctor, you kind of know
all these things. Stress, the stress reaction is a normal
biological reaction and you can't live without it. People think
that there would be appeal to take and all the
stress amos would go down to zero, And if they
(08:20):
go down to zero, you're dying. You did, because you
can't live without them. That's just the fact. It's you
can't argue about that. And so you have to learn
how to become friends with your stress system. That's what
I am working on now with my clients and with
everyone that I talk to more or less that you
(08:44):
have to find how do we function? And when you
know how we function, it's so much easier to react
or act in the right way and not go into
tantrum or in the loopholes and all that things that
most people, so many people go into because they don't
(09:06):
know how to deal with it.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Right, right, Yeah, So tell us then, doctor Anaka, how
do we make friends with our stress?
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (09:17):
How do we make That's a great question, that's.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
A very great question. Well, first you have to accept
This is a system that we got as human beings
around say two hundred thousand years ago. No one knows exactly.
But when we became the people that we are today,
and we have the same stress system today as we
(09:44):
had then, there is no real evolution on us. The
society is totally different because that was on the savannah
with the wild animals and it was eat or be
eaten and finding food and secure it for the night
and all those things, and that we were not up
at night because you could not hunt in the day
(10:10):
in the nighttime, so you were sleeping and in the
daytime you were searching for food. Today there is a
society of twenty four to seven and totally wrecks all
these systems that we have. So first you have to
accept that we do have a system that is an old,
(10:31):
anxious thing and we want to do the changes. And
we also have to accept that only I can do
my changes. No one else can do any changes for me.
I have to do whatever I need to do. And
when you have found out or accepted, okay, I do
(10:54):
want to do something about it, then you have to
get energy to get to to be able to change,
because it takes energy to do things differently, and you
need to do things differently because if you do things
the same way as you've always done, you're going to
get the same result more stress, more stress, more stress.
(11:16):
So you kind of to find a way to get
out of the hamster wheel or the rat race, or
whatever you would call it. You need to get more
energy than you have on a basic level in your
ordinary life. And here comes the thing that people think
is silly or whatever you would call it. But to
(11:40):
get the energy, there are three main and one extra thing,
and that is sleep well or take care of your sleep,
take care of your eating, take care of your physical activity,
and friendship. Those are the four things where you can
get energy. Just it's my bluesy and most people think that, well,
(12:17):
that's just not ordinary things, that's nothing. Come with a
better idea, There are no better ideas to get that energy.
You have to take care of your sleeping, you have
to take care of your eating, and you have to
be active in physical activity. And having good friends also
(12:38):
brings energy. When you have the energy, then you can
start looking at what on earth do I need to change?
You Look at this is how it is right now,
no judgment, This is how it is. It may be
really bad, but you're not going to put on your judgment.
(13:00):
You're just gonna say this is how it is. I
don't like it, but this is how it is, and
this is how I want it to be. And that
goes for the money situation, for friendships, for closer relations,
for hobbies, for work, for where you live, for all
(13:22):
the things in life. It goes the same. It's the
same question where am I today? Where do I want
to be? And from there you need to take to
start taking steps.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
And sorry, we have to go through that when we're
not feeling well.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Two seconds I think I don't want you to hear
the worst part. Anyway, you have to You have to
get the energy to be able to do these changes.
And all of this that, the getting energy, the doing
(14:11):
the changes is all mindset. It's all something I need
to do. I need to understand. You're not gonna eat
different unless you tell yourself. You're not gonna go for
a walk unless you tell your feet to go. You're
not gonna try to sleep better unless you work on
(14:35):
your mindset on how you sleep. And you're not gonna
get good friends unless you are mindful of who you
are and how you do things. So and also the
first step that's mindset. You have to decide I want
to do this, and then the mindset this is how
(14:57):
I get the energy. And then you have the mind
said I need to do these changes to get a
different life. And that's where you tell yourself how do
I want to live my life? And that's where you
become friends with your stress system.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
Yeah, I know this month has been kind of off.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
I had a routine going and everything got into place,
and I was doing really great in April and May,
and then June got here and I've just kind of
been off beat all month on June. And those are
things that I tell my clients we have to do.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
And I know when I don't work out, specifically cardio.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Cardio is the most important thing for me, just getting
that blood flow and my lungs to move. When I
don't do any cardio work, then I just feel lazy.
I feel like I don't want to get up and
work out. But if I do a really good workout today, tomorrow,
I wake up with energy, you know. And I finally
(16:00):
started eating more healthy in May. I finally started cooking,
and for me, I was having just the most difficult
time with the food aspect. I would go buy it
and it would just go bad because I didn't want
to cook. So I started ordering meal prep kits from
home chef, and for me, it was like perfect because
(16:22):
I didn't have to think about anything. I just put
it all together, followed the instructions, and it's been heaven.
It's helped me to eat a healthier life or healthier meals.
And now I'm sleeping and my workouts are finally starting
to come back, so I'm finally getting back to normal.
Speaker 4 (16:41):
But I think the.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Problem that I have had and most people have, is
is once we get to go really good, we fall
off the wagon and then we just wash our hands
of it and we're like, uh, it didn't work.
Speaker 4 (16:55):
But it's just you just fell off the wagon. That's it.
You just get back up.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
It's consistency. I mean, it's not going to happen anything
in the first week or first month even no, not
big things. But if you're consistent, you're going to feel
so much better and things are going to change. And
if you do changes that are good for you, other
things will come too that you might not have thought
(17:23):
of or that you also want to change, but take
it in a later stage. But they will come because
of your changes. And it's also a lot about how
you appear in life, because all all emotions are contagious,
(17:49):
bad emotions, angriness, you know, bitterness, everything is. It sticks
on people who come there. So does happiness or smiles
or joyfulness. That sticks on people who get by. And
(18:10):
because you pick up what you feel from others, And
if you are in a group where everyone is grumpy
and complaining, you will be complaining, even if you don't
want to, even if your mindset from the beginning was
I'm not going to be complaining, but after a while,
you can't really resist it. And all this, all of
(18:31):
these things that we do and how it works is
from back two hundred thousand years ago when we became
the people that we are today. And like I said,
we can't really change that part. We can change a
way of handling it and handling it in the life
(18:52):
that we live today, in this twenty four to seven world,
and decide, Okay, I'm not going to leave the twenty
four to seven world. I am going to sleep at
night because I know I will feel so much better
from that. I'm not going to eat all the junk
food that is fed us from all over. I am
(19:15):
going to be a be careful of what I put
in my mouth, and I am going to do it
on a regular basis because I know that I will
feel better when I do that. And when you've done
that for a while, it will not it will be
something you really want to stay with.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
M hm.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
You know, I think back as you're talking, you know,
two hundred plus thousand years ago whatever, with the caveman
type people. How there wasn't things back then that caused
inflammation like poor diets cause inflammations today you know, boxed foods, McDonald's,
(19:55):
those types of things cause cause us to have inflammation,
and back then they didn't have that. So the things
that caused that was things that happened over the course
of human history, and we end up with bad foods
we end up with with. Back then, we had to
(20:17):
get up, we had to hunt for food, we had
to kill the food. We had to do those things,
which was our physical activity. Nowadays we have to have
we have to force physical activity in the form of
running or things like that, because our lives, like mine
definitely is very sedentary. I sit here in front of
my computer all day long, and those are unhealthy, unhealthy
(20:39):
for my bones, my ligaments and all of that. And
that's where information starts causing problems. We see it with
the heat, you know, our ankles start to swell up,
our feet start to swell up, and that inflammation. If
we don't drink our water, which is the biggest part
of that, then we have we have issues as we
(21:02):
move forward. And with my with my divorce clients, that's
one of the things I always ask them, you know,
what's your self help routine? You know, Like I have
one client, I give her homework every session about what
she needs to do to take care of her next
or tonight or this week, and it's all about.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
You know, sleep.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
She is lucky enough to go to Hawaii. She's got
property in Hawaii. I tell her long watch walks on
the beach and she will drink wine. And I said,
you can have a long walk on the beach with
a fancy wine glass and just hold that wine and
sip on the wine and listen to the water.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
And those types of things.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Are so so important for our mental health, which is
the stress. And it's where stress starts to cause this problems.
Is up in here.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
Absolutely no. If we live today is not We're not
made for that. So that's why I tell people you
have to get to become friends with the system. This
is how it works. If I go as it works,
I am going to feel so much better. I'm going
to be healthier, I'm going to have more energy, I
(22:19):
can do more things, and I will be happier. And
things like the divorce. I mean a divorce can be
extremely hard, and with the economic problems and all and
children problems and all of those things. And in those situations,
the more you have the possibility to take care of
(22:42):
yourself first in a good way with the coach or
with someone holding your hand, then you are going to
be able to go through that divorce in such much
better way and so much easier. I'm not saying it's easy,
but it can be easier, and you will make more
(23:07):
rational decisions and not just jump on whatever. No, you know,
when the anger comes, you do all these things that
you regret afterwards.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
I know that right after my husband died, I sat
on the couch for probably two straight months. I would
get up and do very little, and I dang sure
wasn't eating. I don't think I cooked the whole time.
After that, I don't think I cooked one meal. I
would go out about every second or third day and
go get something to eat, sometimes from the deli. But
(23:45):
i was craving chicken, and that's all I really wanted
to eat was chicken. I'm still not quite where I'm
hungry for vegetables, and that's really rare for me.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
I can just eat a huge.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Big bowl of steamed broccoli or peas, and I have
not craved that. My body is needed the protein and
it has craved, which is not healthy, the carbs, the
refined carbs, so that of like checks cereal or things
like that, not eating or drinking milk. But I'm eating
(24:21):
a lot of cheese, which can also cause issues. But
those are the things, cheese and chicken. So I've had
to incorporate the vegetables into my meal so that I'm
getting them with my meal.
Speaker 4 (24:37):
So it's all a deal.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Yeah, And that is as a part of becoming friends
with your system is that you know that you need
to do that, and you do put the piece of
it even if it's not perfect, and it doesn't have
to be perfect, and it doesn't have to be every
day but it has to be on the in the
(25:01):
long run and on the main scale, so to speak.
So if you care for yourself in a good way,
most of the time, you can eat candy or chocolate
or have a drink or whatever every now and then,
but not every time every day mm hmmm.
Speaker 4 (25:23):
And and I.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Do eat like one square sometimes two squares of dark chocolate.
It's the only thing that that I tend to eat
on a regular basis that has sugar in it. Other
than that, I don't. I don't even carry sugar in
my house because it's just not something I use on
anything for anything. Sometimes I would use it on strawberries,
(25:48):
but it's very.
Speaker 4 (25:49):
Rare, you know.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
I want to go back to something you said in
the very beginning of our talk. You said that you
went through the stuff the loss of your brother and
then your child, and you were going through school, so
there was lots of stress and everything at that point,
and you said that you reached out for help.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
I think that is the most.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Important thing that I have done since my husband's died.
You know, I've reached out to you, I've reached out
to my therapist, I've reached out to father Raphael I've
just I've just gone through so much of reaching out
and talking to people so that I have that. You
talked about the friends, the connection. I do know I
(26:33):
need physical you know, face to face, like I can
feel the energy of the human I do know I
need that.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
Yes, and we do need that as human beings. We
are still animals on the savannah. We we that's who
we are, So we do need need. And also you
said you reached out to friends and to others, and
we do need when we need help in a really
(27:05):
serious what is happening or whatever you would call it,
Like when I lost my two dear ones, I needed
to get help from someone who was not part of
my life because they are biased. They can be the kindest,
(27:27):
the best advisor, and so on, but they would always
be a biased thing towards me. So you need to
have someone that is outside your life. And it's good
to have friends that can support you. And I remember
at that time, when I walked on the streets in
(27:49):
my town, people went over to the other side of
the street for a long time, and it was terrible
because people didn't dare to meet me, people that I
thought were my friends.
Speaker 4 (28:05):
Yeah, because they don't know how to handle, you know,
and that's.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
They don't know what to say, yeah, and they cannot
help you. So you need to have someone who dares
to hear what you're talking about, because it's very scary
when someone comes and say, while I lost my brother
and my baby from two totally different reasons within one week.
(28:30):
That is not normal, and that is very scary. And
then you need to have someone who can sit there
and say, I hear you.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
And and I think in divorce it's it's even worse
when you have a friend or family member that's based.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
Because there are two sides.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Yeah, Because you talked earlier about how emotions are contagious.
When you spat out all the crowd that you're going
to spat out about your soon to be ex and
they agree, then you have this bomb fire within just minutes.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
And that is not some emotions.
Speaker 4 (29:11):
You're going to want to drink, You're going to want
to do all kinds of negative stuff just because of
that conversation. So I tell people, if.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
You're going to talk to your friends or your family,
make sure you tell them that you just want them
to listen. You don't want them to take sides you
don't want them to make suggestions. You just need to
defrag this little situation and then go out to dinner
and enjoy a good laugh.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
Yeah, we can talk about all the good stuff, all
the other things in life, because there's so many other
things and exactly, and that's why you need to have
someone outside who can hear and who can say, Okay,
(30:00):
she thinks that this man is a monster or vice
versa this woman, But that doesn't affect me as a
coach or a mentor. I can hear what she or
is saying, and I can kind of sort it and
put the right questions in there, and that will help
(30:23):
the person to actually think, what am I saying, What
am I thinking? What am I believing? What are my feelings?
Speaker 4 (30:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (30:33):
Yeah, and that's huge and very important because you know,
we'll go back to the exercise and everything. I just
recently talked on another podcast about poor an addiction, and
one of the things that's so important for stress and
things that cause distress to our body, you know, like
(30:57):
a car accident or the loss of loved ones like
you and I experienced, is we do need to talk
about it. Sometimes therapists are not the best place for
some of us to talk to about it because we
don't need to dig. In fact, digging, in my case
with my clients only makes things worse. We just keep
bringing up more garbage and more garbage that we have
(31:19):
to deal with. Can't as a mediator, I always say,
I can't mediate the past. All I can help you
do is set a foundation for your present and work up.
But when we talk, there's also that part of exercise.
So in natural medicine, our memories, our distress situation, the
(31:41):
loss of my love, my husband, and the loss of
your brother and your baby found its way to a
body part. It locked itself somewhere in your body. And
in this case it can be locked now in your legs,
but it's more likely in the hips and in the
low back. And if we don't do so some physical
activity to deal with.
Speaker 4 (32:03):
That, then we're going to hold on to it.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
And so when I was talking about the porn addiction,
I said, you know, first off, they need to find
a coach somebody that can help them through that, because
that is something that's very difficult to break, and in
certain religions it's very taboo, so nobody talks about it,
and it makes.
Speaker 4 (32:24):
It even worse in the Catholic religion.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
What is wonderful about that is they have to confess,
So they go into the confessional and confess. So they're
talking about their issue, and then the father gives them
their prayers and tells them how many times to go
and say their prayers on the rosary. And they're using
their hands to go across a rosary and that, although
(32:50):
is small motion, is still motion enough to get the brain.
They've talked and now the brain is moving through everything
and they're talking about their prayer and so it's just
so important. Like doctor Anika is explained, you have to
have the food, your diet, you have to have your sleep,
you have to have your friends.
Speaker 4 (33:10):
She talked about that, and the exercise.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
So friends are about talking and laughing and exercises.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Remove all of that.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
And having doctor Anika as your stress doctor, you're talking
to her, you're learning, and you're growing. So these are
super deeper important things.
Speaker 3 (33:31):
Yeah, and the like exactly like you said, therapy can
be almost harmful in the wrong way because if you
just keep digging and digging, it's not going to move
you forward what you need to have. Okay, look back,
what happened and while we don't want that to happen again,
what are we going to do to move forward? So
(33:54):
that's what I learned from my journey. It was I
was going to start working as a doctor. I had
no clue what am I doing. I studied, I've studied
so much. I had all this knowledge, but I didn't
have the how to really because I was just starting
(34:15):
off and I had this really big hurt in my bombs.
But I had to look forward. I had to have help.
And I worked in the actually in a family practition
place right then, the first place where I worked, and
(34:36):
they were the kindest people. They said, okay, you can
have two patients a day. We help you with everything.
And I could take one step by a time, and
then I could move. And then after a couple of weeks,
I took three patients a day, and then you you know,
(34:56):
you added up. Because I got the help, I could
move forward and see forward and be helped forward. And
sometimes you have a backlash because there were, of course
patients who came with stories that affected my heart because
of whatever they said that it touched me because of
(35:17):
my brother or my baby. So it was not all
the way up. It was up and down, but it
was upwards and forward because you need to go forward.
And I don't call myself today a coach. I call
myself a mentor because I use my medical knowledge in
(35:38):
my coaching. So that's why I call myself a mentor,
because I actually do help people to think of what's
best from a biological perspective.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Yeah, and I don't like the word coach anyways, because
it just seems like everybody gets trained and then they're
trying to help you with things that maybe they're not
trained enough on helping.
Speaker 4 (36:03):
Like if I'm going to go to a coach on.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
Stress, having a doctor that has been trained in stress
is a whole different you know, person, a whole different
realm of somebody to go and get help with.
Speaker 4 (36:19):
So I think that's super important.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
I do feel you know the process, you know, you talk,
you talk about how it's up and down, but you
have to go forward.
Speaker 4 (36:29):
So I tell people this all the time.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
They're like, oh, I'm so sorry that your husband died,
and then they they it's like I almost have reached
that part that I get tired of telling people just
because I'm like, now now I'm not trying to draw
you down it's I'm I'm done getting drawn down.
Speaker 4 (36:45):
It's time for me to move forward.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
And I tell them, you know, I'm here, and the
only way out is through. I have to keep going.
It's the same with divorce. It's the same with stress.
It's the same with loss, the loss of your brother
and you're baby, last of my husband. The only way
out is to keep going forward, to go through it.
Speaker 3 (37:06):
Yeah, and it's the same where I work mostly today
in business leaders it's you. They can sit in the
well for hours about how bad things are, but that's
not going to help anybody. You have to see, Okay,
this was it. It wasn't really good. We don't want
to be there, But how do we move forward? That's
(37:30):
what I want. And then I, from my perspective, see
this is a more biologically correct or gainable or whatever
you would call it in English way than doing it
that way. But okay, you choose. So if you think
that way is best for you, to go ahead. I'll
hold your hand and we'll take one step at a time.
(37:53):
What they take one step at the time, and I'll
just kind of help them to stay on track more
or less. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
Yeah, And and that's kind of where I've been I had.
I didn't talk with a therapist or Father Rafayel for
two weeks and it was interesting because I didn't notice
it right away, but when it got close to my
appointment with Father Rafayel, I was like, oh, not talking
(38:25):
with anybody. That's why this last two weeks hasn't gone great.
It was just upheaval disruption. I couldn't work out, I
didn't I wasn't sleeping great, my diet wasn't great. It's like, oh,
having an accountability partner, having somebody to talk about the
issue is really good. But but like when we talk
(38:48):
about therapists, and not all therapists do this either. There's
some wonderful therapy out there right now where they're actually
taking their clients to the park and walking in the park.
But we don't always need to dig, and especially in relationships,
like I deal with the relationships.
Speaker 4 (39:06):
But he did that.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
But she did this, and it's like, okay, and that's
in the past and there's absolutely nothing we can do
about that. We can't make it go bye bye. They
have said they're sorry or they haven't, and the reality
is is we have to go forward now. In my
case with my clients, most of them are separating, So
it's not about the other one at all.
Speaker 4 (39:28):
Now, it's live your life.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Yeah, your choice is your mental thinking, the things you.
Speaker 3 (39:36):
Choose to do now. Yeah, everyone lives their own life.
Like I said earlier, I can't eat for you, I
can't sleep for you. I can't do anything for you.
You have to do that yourself. I can help you
to see what you need to do and to actually
take that step if depending on what it is. I
(40:00):
can't do it for you. Mm hmmmm hm.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
And as we start to come to a close here,
doctor Anika, I know that all of your your information
where they can find you on the platforms and everything
is going to be linked in the notes the show
notes below. But can you tell people how they can
get a hold of you? I mean here, we're in
(40:26):
the States and you work with people all over the
world just like I do. So how can people get a.
Speaker 3 (40:32):
Hold of you? Well, I think the easiest way is
to go to my website and you see that on
the here askdoctor Anika dot com because there is a
page for connect or contact or whatever it's called, and
and in there you can just write what's it about?
Very simple first lines and where you are and if
(40:56):
there are any specific things you need you need me
to know, just as a start, and then I will
always answer personally.
Speaker 4 (41:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
And then you mentioned something about courses earlier or I
mentioned that.
Speaker 3 (41:11):
Yeah, I am in the process of doing of making
an online course that is going to be it's oh
right now, I can't even remember the name of it.
Clear mind leadership. Ah, that's cool for business people. Anyone
(41:32):
can do it because it's the same. Like I said,
stress is part of our biology, and it doesn't matter
who we are. We have the same system. If we
are black, red, green, yellow, brown, white, whatever, if we
are some tall, short boys, girls, anything in between, it
(41:53):
doesn't matter because we all have the same system. So
anyone can do it. It is but it's a set
for business people.
Speaker 4 (42:05):
Yeah, oh, very good.
Speaker 3 (42:06):
And that goes through all what I very briefly mentioned here.
The first part is mindset, and the second is taking
care of your body, and then the third part is
taking care of the life around you, and in most
of the cases is the business part. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:25):
Yeah, And from a business point of view, I could
take that. Even though I'm a one man band, basically
thing I work with other groups of people by anything
that can help us. And I can tell our viewers
that that doctor Anaka is a I mean, obviously she's
(42:48):
got the medical knowledge and she can help with that
and how the stress connects with problems like I was
talking about skin eruptions and stuff, and so go to
her website ask doctor Anika dot com. Go to her website,
and I'm sure right that when you finish these courses,
they'll be able to access them from your website.
Speaker 3 (43:09):
Too, Absolutely, absolutely great. Great, Yeah, you can read more
about why what I do.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
And that's that's a great I mean, it's all right there,
so that's a perfect place for them to go. So
a little bit about me. As we talked about in
the beginning, I'm a certified divorce coach, meaning that I'm
training the complexities of divorce. I've also dealt with abuse.
Speaker 4 (43:36):
In my marriage.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
My father and my late husband were also abused. My
father almost murdered in a relationship. So not only do
I know the knowledge of divorce from my books, I
also know it because I've been through it. So you
can reach me through my email at Coach Tina Lynn
at gmail dot com. That's COO A C. H. T.
(43:58):
I n A L why and at gmail dot com.
You can find me on my website also at Divorcecoachspecialist
dot com. You can also find me on social media
Facebook under Tina Lynn Huggins, h u gg I n S,
LinkedIn under Tina Huggins, Instagram under Divorce Coach Tina Lynn,
(44:21):
TikTok under Divorce Tina. So, one of the things that
I think is super important here, doctor Anika, is can
you give our viewers a little bit of a last
minute tip right here?
Speaker 3 (44:36):
Don't complicate it. That's kind of my baseline in life.
Go back to basics. Look what's how it is now
without the judgment, and start from there because that's the
best place where you can actually go and find your
(44:56):
best life. Don't look back, and don't try to look
forward in the sense that you'll fear whatever, because most
of the things we fear in the future will never happen.
Go to that now and see this is where I am,
where am I heading?
Speaker 4 (45:17):
And I love that. I think that.
Speaker 2 (45:20):
You know, I've helped people get into AA programs, and
one of the things that they talk about in AA
is not too forward, think too far, just to think
about this moment a little bit further out and try
and stay sober. And in the case with what you
just said, Doctor Anika, you don't want to think so
far out there that fear then drives you back into
(45:43):
the stress that you're dealing with. So I love that
bit of information, and so my advice to our viewers is,
don't let your stress sit there. Do something, find help,
get a hold of dotor Anika, go to her website
at least read stuff, even just getting books on how
(46:06):
to deal with stress. Get your sleep, eat properly, get
the physical activity, and spend some wonderful laughter time and
time with your friends. Just like doctor Anika has said,
the most important part for me to tell you is
don't let the stress sit there because it'll eventually cause disease.
So please take care of the stress levels now before
(46:29):
they get to be too bad. So many people, including myself,
going through stress and difficult times such as divorce, find
ourselves with the thoughts of suicide. Please please reach out.
You can reach out here to the National Suicide Prevention
Hotline at nine eight eight here in the States. In
the Netherlands it's one point one three and get the
(46:54):
support that you need for that timeframe, and then if
you are in need of a police officer right now,
some form of domestic violence or something.
Speaker 4 (47:02):
Here in the.
Speaker 2 (47:02):
States it's nine to one one, in the UK it's
nine nine nine, and in the Netherlands it's one one two.
Speaker 4 (47:09):
Once the police get there, press charges.
Speaker 2 (47:11):
The charges are your key out of a very difficult
and abusive relationship.
Speaker 4 (47:16):
Once you drop those charges.
Speaker 2 (47:19):
The abuse that will happen after you drop the charges
is in many cases much worse than the abuse beforehand.
Take that time and start heading towards the divorce. At
this point, this is the safest time that you can
go for the divorce. Set the charges, keep the charges,
and move forward. If you or somebody you know is
(47:39):
dealing with domestic violence, please call the Domestic Violence Hotline
at eight hundred seven nine nine seven two three three.
That number again is eight hundred seven ninety nine seventy
two thirty three. And I ask you to please like, comment.
Speaker 4 (47:53):
And share this to help others.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
And doctor Annika, thank you so much for being here today.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
Thank you so much for having me. It was a
fun call and talk, even though we are talking about
serious stuff and so on. You have to kind of
look from at life from the bright side. It's going
to be so much easier.
Speaker 4 (48:22):
Well, and again, thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (48:23):
And now we'll let you take your space and get
way down so you can rest and heal.
Speaker 3 (48:30):
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (48:33):
You're listening to wgsn dB going Solo Network Singles Talk
Radio Channel, where we take a lighthearted and candidate approach
to discussions on the journey of relationship, laws, divorce, parenting,
being single, relationships, building, dating, and yes sex. Join our
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CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.