Awful Service Number One Hundred and Seventy-three - KJ the Comedian - Awful Service Podcast

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Tape Deck Media.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
Welcome back.

Speaker 3 (00:25):
It's another episode of the Awful Service podcast. This is
the podcast that makes you pay at the pump before
you get it.

Speaker 4 (00:31):
I don't know, it's like the podcast. It feels like
nineteen ninety seven. It feels like dial up. Do you
have your Do you have your AOL forty hours?

Speaker 2 (00:41):
You get to pay for it first though prepaid.

Speaker 4 (00:46):
Matt, you might be too young to remember.

Speaker 2 (00:48):
The al discs. Yeah, yeah, you're too young. I'm two
years younger. It's your host, Matt Doimo.

Speaker 4 (00:54):
With the man that feels eighty years older than his co's.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
Only two years younger than him.

Speaker 4 (01:03):
But we're forever thirty eight. We're doing a jack be anything.

Speaker 2 (01:06):
Yeah, there you go.

Speaker 3 (01:07):
No, of course I remember the AOL disc I was
a hick out in the country. We used to use
those when we ran out of clay pigeons.

Speaker 4 (01:13):
We would just shoot those.

Speaker 3 (01:14):
We're like, oh and they throw that and we would
shoot the fucking AOL discs with the shotguns. Those are
a lot harder, by the way than clay pigeons because
they don't fly the same way, because it's not the
same hay right, because.

Speaker 4 (01:25):
They're not they're not created to fly. They're created for
forty hours of the internet.

Speaker 3 (01:30):
When we tried that instead, we got bored with it
and we would put them up as like target practice,
so you know when we're shooting rifles and pistols because
of the hicks. So we're just sitting there out in
the woods, just like shooting AOL discs. There's probably in
the middle of the woods in Crosby, Minnesota, a bunch of.

Speaker 4 (01:45):
Destroyed AOL detroid A grade somewhere, and they are wrecking
the soil mass.

Speaker 2 (01:51):
That was here. I was, I was sixteen.

Speaker 4 (01:55):
Ah, they we did some scientific soil studies and the
AOL this there seems to be a concentration of ale wellnesss.

Speaker 3 (02:05):
Like next to a lot of shotgun shells. I don't
know what that was about.

Speaker 4 (02:11):
We could talk about shooting old ship all day.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
Shooting old Ship is actually the other name of this podcast.

Speaker 4 (02:19):
If you're gonna if you need stuff to shoot and
you ran out, go to the thrift store, buy the
cheapest things and shoot the but Jesus out of.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
It, and it's recycling. Don't shoot that stuff.

Speaker 4 (02:32):
That's technically recycling. The new recycling is like well, old recycling.
We scientifically didn't work, and the new recycling is we
just shoot at it and just blow it up into
a million pieces and that will eventually recycle itself and
turns into new soil.

Speaker 3 (02:54):
Our guest today has been a comedian for many years.
He tours the country, he's he's been everywhere. You know him,
you love and give it up for kJ the comedian.
Everybody welcome kJ.

Speaker 5 (03:06):
Thank you, thank you, thank you for having me. Good fellows.

Speaker 4 (03:09):
So finally it.

Speaker 3 (03:11):
Has taken third times a charm third times man.

Speaker 6 (03:15):
Yeah, yeah, I'm glad you switched over to the zoom
because it's the stream yard I had.

Speaker 5 (03:21):
I had some issues with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (03:24):
That's that's to tell you how long we try to
do the person trying so long we always find stuff happens, things.

Speaker 2 (03:31):
Life happens, technology.

Speaker 3 (03:33):
We're all performers, so we're you know, oftentimes on the
road doing our own ship.

Speaker 2 (03:37):
So that that's all part of it as well.

Speaker 4 (03:38):
I blame most of it on Elon Musk. Yes, I'm
pretty sure it was all.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
This is all part of Doge he did. That's what happened.

Speaker 4 (03:51):
Well, that's what he cut back, like the ninety percent
of our staff.

Speaker 5 (03:55):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 3 (03:56):
It's a little known that Awful Service actually funded by
the US government.

Speaker 4 (04:00):
We were funded by the US government. Now we are
we're looking for donations.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
We're gonna be like.

Speaker 3 (04:09):
The middle of the podcast, We're just gonna be like,
and you could conversation, can we do?

Speaker 4 (04:16):
Can we do a telethon?

Speaker 2 (04:18):
Only if we could?

Speaker 4 (04:21):
Is it a podcast on? Can we do the first podcast?
It's like, well, offer every five dollars that you send in.
It's oh, and we look like we reached our next goal, Like.

Speaker 2 (04:34):
Only we have to have that, We have to have
some wacky performers.

Speaker 4 (04:37):
And here now we have. Yeah, it's like this guy's
gonna tap dance and one of his legs is shorter
than the others. So it's hilarious.

Speaker 5 (04:44):
It's like.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
And then and then Brenda's gonna do some yoga? Is what?
That's what?

Speaker 4 (04:52):
Welcome tippy tap?

Speaker 2 (04:54):
What listen? This is the Awful Service podcast?

Speaker 3 (04:58):
Not that just be a it'd just be a bunch
of people like, yeah, and there's this other time I
got stiffed.

Speaker 4 (05:03):
You're gonna come back from the telethon, right, You're gonna
do a couple of minutes on a telethon. You're gonna
you're gonna soft shoe. What do you got?

Speaker 5 (05:11):
You got it?

Speaker 4 (05:12):
You're doing a puppet thing. What are you gonna do
for our telethon or a podcast? Oh no, man, I
need you to come up.

Speaker 2 (05:22):
With the talent.

Speaker 4 (05:24):
In like the next six months. I need you to
pitch me your talent.

Speaker 2 (05:28):
Like's yeah, I'll try a magic trick.

Speaker 5 (05:31):
I'll try. I'll try to sell some electricity.

Speaker 4 (05:33):
Is this your card? It's like, it's not.

Speaker 5 (05:37):
I try to sell them those people some electricity.

Speaker 4 (05:41):
Are you you just got wind mills? Now you're just
like putting wind mills in your back gun.

Speaker 5 (05:48):
Get them past one hundred and fifty miles and take
the only.

Speaker 4 (05:54):
Oh look, this is.

Speaker 2 (05:56):
The this is the awful service podcast. We could talk about.

Speaker 4 (06:00):
Fraizing Bunny for our like to how to keep our
doors open.

Speaker 2 (06:05):
We need to keep Joe and Jamison's.

Speaker 4 (06:07):
Yes, it's the Jamison inflation, the terror the Jamison. The
whiskey tariffs are going to be crazy.

Speaker 3 (06:15):
That Honestly, I think that's what I'm gonna start calling it.
When you start having the whiskey shakes, he's having the
whiskey having.

Speaker 4 (06:20):
He's got the whiskey tariffs. It's now he's got to
drink American.

Speaker 2 (06:27):
It's fine, it works.

Speaker 4 (06:29):
It just doesn't taste like my childhood drunkenness. You know
when you like when you had like that.

Speaker 2 (06:36):
That needs to be Jamison's new slogan. It tastes like childhood.

Speaker 4 (06:39):
It reminds me of when I was drunk as a kid.
It's this is.

Speaker 3 (06:45):
The awful service podcast case. It's not just Joe and
I talking about weird ship, and it's also the podcast
we talking about former jobs and the stories there within.
The very first segment of the podcast is one that
we lovingly refer to as the resume.

Speaker 4 (07:01):
Show What yourrthme? Why should we hired? Have you ever
had a job? Right? You have been fired? You tell
us all about yourself and your place of business. Talk
about my job's filthy, shady politics. So what's your resme?

Speaker 2 (07:20):
You get to talk about different jobs. You don't have
to go through all of them.

Speaker 3 (07:22):
I'm sure you've had an illustrious career, but uh, you know,
whatever one has the best stories, and wherever you want
to start.

Speaker 5 (07:30):
Let's start. You remember your first job, Let's start your
first job.

Speaker 4 (07:34):
Yes, I love a good first job. All right, all right,
all right, break it down for us kJ. All right,
my first what is the year? How old are we?
Where are we?

Speaker 5 (07:45):
All right? I probably was about maybe fourteen or fifteen.

Speaker 6 (07:50):
I'm I'm raised in Omahaskay.

Speaker 4 (07:54):
So we're Omaha, Nebraska, fourteen year old kJ.

Speaker 5 (07:58):
Yeah. Yeah, and then what year?

Speaker 4 (08:00):
And what's the job?

Speaker 5 (08:02):
It's at as Urban horse Racing.

Speaker 4 (08:06):
Get the fuck out?

Speaker 5 (08:08):
What were you doing?

Speaker 6 (08:10):
They well, you know how you sign up for like
a like a temp job or something like. I probably
was closer to sixteen, So I signed up for this
temp job and they you know, I'm thinking, okay, I'll
probably be doing something simple, you know.

Speaker 4 (08:25):
Office work. Yeah, you're just pushing papers and stuff.

Speaker 6 (08:30):
Then they told me to come to the the you know,
where the horse was at. And the guy was showing
me like, yeah, you're gonna walk horses.

Speaker 4 (08:39):
You at the track or were you at the Were
you at a stable?

Speaker 6 (08:43):
I'm in the stable where they walk them around and
get them ready for the race and stuff.

Speaker 4 (08:46):
So this is so we're at the track, but we're
in the stables and you're doing pre waight pre racewalks.

Speaker 6 (08:52):
Been doing pre race walks, he warmed up horses. Yes,
it's let me mind you. I'm from the city.

Speaker 5 (09:01):
You know.

Speaker 6 (09:01):
I grew up in New York and Toledo, kans City,
but we moved back to Omahall where I was born.
Let me mind you, this is my first time actually
seeing a horse. A horse, and they ain't want me.
I'm gonna tell you that start raising up and bucking

(09:22):
the ship.

Speaker 5 (09:22):
I guess you could sense my fear.

Speaker 4 (09:25):
Yeah, God, it smells it. It's like it's like.

Speaker 6 (09:31):
I didn't even I didn't even finish my first hour
on the job. I ran straight back to the bus
stop with horseshoes on my horseship on my new tennis shoes.

Speaker 4 (09:44):
You wore whites.

Speaker 6 (09:48):
They didn't tell me to wear no fucking boots.

Speaker 4 (09:51):
You didn't know you were going to the track.

Speaker 5 (09:53):
I didn't know you were going.

Speaker 4 (09:55):
To an office.

Speaker 6 (09:56):
I was gonna be around all this horsesho told me
none of that ship. Man, I read that horse. You
know how they raise something.

Speaker 4 (10:13):
One of the you were fucking off.

Speaker 5 (10:16):
I was gone.

Speaker 4 (10:18):
I got home.

Speaker 6 (10:19):
Man, my brother my sister roasted me so hard. Boy,
you smell like ship.

Speaker 4 (10:26):
Of course I smelled like ship. I haven't running through
it all.

Speaker 2 (10:29):
It's a rough day at the office.

Speaker 5 (10:30):
Like you smell like shit.

Speaker 4 (10:33):
I had to walk behind the horse. What do you
think I smelled like.

Speaker 5 (10:38):
My sister and all of mine? He smelled like ship mom.

Speaker 4 (10:41):
Forty five minutes at the track.

Speaker 5 (10:45):
First job, first job, man, true story, man was it was?
It was only forty five minutes. He didn't. They didn't
try to get you to come back.

Speaker 4 (10:55):
I was j can I ask what the fuck job
we have?

Speaker 7 (11:03):
Uh?

Speaker 4 (11:04):
Yeah, we have a couple of office gigs, and then
we have this uh and the like I say, horse
horse walking, We have a pregame, pre game horse horse thing.

Speaker 6 (11:14):
They did not mention any of that. They bait and
switch the switch.

Speaker 4 (11:21):
No, dude, They eyed you up at sixteen, and we're like,
he's perfect for horse walking.

Speaker 5 (11:26):
They've seen how big I was. You were probably a
tall kid. You probably were.

Speaker 4 (11:32):
He's gonna walk. Look at those legs. He's gonna walk
the ship out of those horses. They eyed you up,
and we're just like, I know exactly.

Speaker 5 (11:41):
We know where this guy's going.

Speaker 4 (11:42):
He's too tall for the office.

Speaker 5 (11:45):
I ran out of there so quick, man ran straight man.

Speaker 4 (11:49):
But did you call the tip gig, like, hey got
another one for me? That one wasn't the greatest. Maybe
we could try it again another dice roll. Maybe less horses.

Speaker 5 (11:59):
No, I ain't even I was done with Timpson.

Speaker 6 (12:03):
I went straight to the boys Club and asked them
could I get a job, and they gave me a
job mopping the gym.

Speaker 3 (12:09):
You're like wait, You're like, wait, so I'm not gonna
have to walk in any ship, am I Like, that's
a that's a big deal breaker.

Speaker 4 (12:14):
It's mildly a less amount of ship mopping the wy
It's like it's it's it's tinier ships.

Speaker 6 (12:21):
Oh yeah, that was That was my first job. And
I'll tell you I love that.

Speaker 4 (12:26):
You were like, my mopping the why is a million
times better than walking shitty horses.

Speaker 3 (12:36):
We have not big of a chance of being kicked
to death at the why. It's big, it's not completely gone.

Speaker 4 (12:42):
A little a little less.

Speaker 2 (12:43):
A little less though.

Speaker 5 (12:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (12:45):
So that was my first job, and I had a
bunch of other jobs.

Speaker 5 (12:51):
That probably was Yeah, I think more horses.

Speaker 4 (12:56):
That was your first and only horse gig.

Speaker 6 (12:58):
Yeah, that was my holy, first and last and only
horse kid that was done, man boy.

Speaker 4 (13:05):
Yeah, you don't even do comedy shows. Yeah around horses, Like, yeah,
there's a there's a comedy show the racetrack, like, yeah, past,
I'm done. I've been there.

Speaker 6 (13:19):
I've had a lot of I had a lot of
different type of jobs. I had a job to help
me get into comedy. That was working with the airline
stacking luggage under the plane. Yeah ship, Yeah, that was
I used that when I first beginning in my comedy career.

Speaker 4 (13:37):
That's how it got you into comedy.

Speaker 5 (13:39):
Well, no, I got it in theater.

Speaker 4 (13:43):
Okay, all right, I was gonna say what luggage I
used that to get you in the stand up That
was just like this is the funniest luggage. I have
ten minutes on this fucking bag.

Speaker 5 (13:54):
I used that to get to kigs, get free travel travel.

Speaker 2 (13:59):
Yeah, I mean is this okay?

Speaker 8 (14:00):
All right?

Speaker 6 (14:01):
So I had to get the case. But people always
want to know, you know, when we're stacking your bags,
do do we throw your bags? And hell yeah.

Speaker 5 (14:12):
I don't expect anything less. You would believe some of
the stuff that.

Speaker 4 (14:16):
If my bag says fragile, if I taped fragile, a
sign that says fragile on my back is gonna get
extra thrown. You guys are gonna sit on it, kick
on it is my my Grandpa worked for yellow Bird Airlines.
Do what you did the package He was a package manager.
Is moved up to Delta when they bought out, when Delta.

Speaker 5 (14:38):
Brought them out, and.

Speaker 6 (14:41):
Yeah, because Delta bought out Northwest, I was at Northwest Airline.

Speaker 4 (14:45):
Yeah, it's it is a crazy game of being behind
the scenes working through the He.

Speaker 2 (14:53):
Was just about to tell us some of the crazy
shit he found it in the luggage.

Speaker 6 (14:56):
Yeah, I was about to tell y'all you wouldn't believe
something and stuff that that comes home.

Speaker 2 (15:00):
We've had a Ulysses Achary on the podcast.

Speaker 3 (15:03):
He told me some ship but there was a few
things we haven't heard, but we always like to hear more.

Speaker 4 (15:08):
Yes, exactly.

Speaker 6 (15:09):
Well, like you know, especially out of women's you know,
all their toys fall out and ship.

Speaker 4 (15:16):
How were you not packing those tighter? It's like in
these bags is like all right, don't you put the
little key in the thing to lock the thing? And
then now it's like, you know, it's getting jostled around.

Speaker 5 (15:30):
Yeah, the bags come open easier, the veg is moving.

Speaker 6 (15:39):
But yeah, I found some good stuff too, man, You
know that I couldn't turn in.

Speaker 5 (15:43):
I just kind of took it home. With me.

Speaker 4 (15:46):
Well, yeah, it's like when you you can't turn it
in at that point, like where where how are we
supposed to get this back to this person? Mona Lisa.

Speaker 5 (15:57):
Yeah, so people, uh yeah, they lost their plan. Uh yeah,
you can't.

Speaker 2 (16:05):
Travel with this, so it's illegal in.

Speaker 4 (16:10):
I'm just picturing they overstuffed their bag and it was
like through the fucking and then all of a sudden
it popped out and it was like, whoa, hell's too
many plants in this bag.

Speaker 6 (16:24):
Yeah, I'd be scared to turn it in because I
don't want it to them think it was mines or something.

Speaker 5 (16:29):
So I like, well, the best.

Speaker 4 (16:30):
Thing, really, I brought this to work to turn it in.
This was obviously came off the line, guys.

Speaker 5 (16:38):
So the safest thing is to put it in your backpack, yes,
and go home.

Speaker 4 (16:42):
And the safest thing, but the best thing for all
parties involved.

Speaker 5 (16:46):
Yeah, so yeah, that was.

Speaker 2 (16:49):
You turned it.

Speaker 3 (16:50):
You turned it into the lost and found, and the
lost and Found is what you called your backpack, and they're.

Speaker 4 (16:55):
Not gonna water it for three weeks and it's not
gonna be appropriately cared for. You were just doing like
a like like a stray hold.

Speaker 5 (17:05):
Yeah, with the.

Speaker 4 (17:08):
If if nobody cleims it in five days, I guess
I'll just adopt it.

Speaker 6 (17:12):
And if you were finding a lot of stuff you
and we used to have to clean going on the
plane and clean them back then. That matter of fact,
I would taxi him out with the wands and stuff
and take.

Speaker 4 (17:25):
The to you were the guys with the wands.

Speaker 5 (17:27):
Yeah, we do all that.

Speaker 4 (17:32):
You ever give him some funny wand signs? We're like, dude,
do you ever do like a like a like a
dance routine where they're just like, what the fuck is
he doing right now?

Speaker 2 (17:43):
I wonder what he found in the luggage?

Speaker 4 (17:44):
That means, yeah, he's just doing He's doing a dance
dance revolution kind of right now.

Speaker 6 (17:51):
It's the WANs is Yeah, them wands. Boy, you they'd
be serious. That wasn't called it f f A or whatever.

Speaker 2 (18:00):
Yeah, yeah, yeah you can.

Speaker 4 (18:02):
They are extremely watching their your wand movements. Yeah, you
can't just be like a girl and a fucking techno
concert on ecstasy.

Speaker 2 (18:12):
I was thinking.

Speaker 3 (18:14):
Nineteen seventies traffic cop. That's where my mind went to.

Speaker 4 (18:17):
Oh oh you just went to and then whistling.

Speaker 2 (18:20):
And then yeah, yeah, that's where my mind went I
don't know.

Speaker 3 (18:24):
And then did you, like, do you ever find any
weapons or anything like I've always wondered about that.

Speaker 5 (18:28):
Oh, no, you wouldn't find any.

Speaker 6 (18:30):
But you follow some great like headphones, iPods, wallets.

Speaker 4 (18:35):
Money, everything pops out.

Speaker 5 (18:36):
Yeah, drinks.

Speaker 3 (18:39):
You're working for the airlines. You're you're finding the you're
finding the lost and fasts. You're finding the good ship,
good stuff.

Speaker 5 (18:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (18:46):
And you're you're using that as a way to fly
across the country because you get the discounted flights and
all that.

Speaker 5 (18:51):
It's a free free flights, man, well, free flights. That's
even better ship. Yeah, that's smart free flights. And uh,
you meet a lot of people, but then some you
get stuck someplaces. Almost got stuck in Hawaii, you know,
in Hallolulu, because.

Speaker 4 (19:07):
I'm so sorry because.

Speaker 5 (19:10):
You don't stand by, but you don't mind being stuck
in Hawaii.

Speaker 2 (19:14):
To say that one that one I can think of.

Speaker 6 (19:15):
There are some places you gotta worry about, Like you
get stuck in New York. You get stuck in the
bigger city. See you stand.

Speaker 5 (19:24):
By, you go by your like your senior your list,
like when you knew you you.

Speaker 4 (19:28):
You get bumped by the old heads.

Speaker 5 (19:30):
About by the old people and stuff like. But yeah,
it was. It was a cool gig.

Speaker 6 (19:36):
Man, and you know it was a part time. One
time it got scary though, because like when you take
the coke tobar off, you got to tap the plane
that you know, the tow bar.

Speaker 5 (19:47):
But it was like snowy, you know, just your bump. Yeah, yeah,
we're good.

Speaker 4 (19:53):
Yeah, yeah, get yourself.

Speaker 6 (19:54):
Let the pilot know the toe bar is off. You
know you're about you're about to you know, pull pull
the toe bar back in. But one time the young
party man start the injine too fast. Man, I had
to run out of there so quick because you know,
if that engine suck you in.

Speaker 2 (20:12):
You wouldn't be talking to you to.

Speaker 5 (20:15):
Wrap for you. And then that that let me know that, yeah,
you know.

Speaker 6 (20:19):
This this job was coming to quickly. It was like
a four year run, so I couldn't be mad. It's like, yeah,
I'm about.

Speaker 3 (20:28):
You have a history of when something gets dangerous, like
I'm out and.

Speaker 4 (20:32):
We're good and we're gonna leave this on the children.
And I'm too old for this ship. You do it?
Danny Glover from the Man, I'm too old for this.

Speaker 6 (20:40):
Ship, got to you know, yeah, man, It was scary, man,
you know because the snow just like like a blizzard.

Speaker 5 (20:49):
That's what they do. They created where you almost can't see.

Speaker 4 (20:53):
Yeah, and so you got to they created are talking
about we're talking about Jesus, the Lord created it. And
the engine.

Speaker 2 (21:02):
Oh yeah, some of the engine, Joe.

Speaker 4 (21:05):
Oh yeah, you can't see that ship. It just sucks.

Speaker 5 (21:07):
Yeah, I thought he was.

Speaker 4 (21:09):
Talking about snow. I was like, Jesus.

Speaker 2 (21:12):
Created the engine, sucks in the snow and then makes
it you can't see.

Speaker 5 (21:16):
It's almost blind to you, and so you really have
to run away from the engine because otherwise you could
get sucked in.

Speaker 4 (21:23):
And then that's the most insane. My problem with this
whole thing is what year was this kJ that you
were tapping.

Speaker 6 (21:30):
The Oh that's like it's gotta be late no nineties, right, yeah,
late nineties, early to two thousands.

Speaker 4 (21:40):
And we're still tapping the looking plane to let the
pilot know we're good. We can't have a we're good,
we're good, and uh to tap, you have to tap up.
We haven't. We have them figuring out a new system.

(22:02):
Since nineteen forty four, we've been doing the two taps.

Speaker 7 (22:06):
Since three tap is stop the fucking engine because I'm
about to get sucked in. Stop the three tap, slash
all the taps if I keep tapping, stop the fucking edge, stop.

Speaker 4 (22:19):
The fucking.

Speaker 5 (22:21):
Yeah, they were, Yeah, it was. It was a cool job, man,
you be.

Speaker 4 (22:25):
I don't know. I just feel like there was a
better method than the tap to save lives of it
might be. Now it's one guy gets sucked into the
one thing.

Speaker 2 (22:38):
It's the one thing.

Speaker 4 (22:40):
One dude, you you could have been like the Tuck
roll for fucking engines. Yeah, you gonna add a little
like sucking gate. You don't remember sucking the engine gate.

Speaker 5 (22:58):
He's not a goose. And this isn't this isn't. This
isn't Mischira.

Speaker 2 (23:02):
What's his name?

Speaker 5 (23:02):
Sully?

Speaker 4 (23:03):
Sully, Sully Sullenberger, God damn hero, American fucking hero. That man.

Speaker 2 (23:09):
So you decided it was too dangerous working the working
in the airports.

Speaker 4 (23:13):
Yeah was that. Sully was Sully's rookie, He was Sally's
first and he almost sucked you into the engine. And
now he's like, now I I almost sucked that guy
in the engine that one time, and now I'm gonna
fucking I'm never gonna let this fucking happen again, and
he's just laying him on Hudson.

Speaker 9 (23:30):
Yeah, yeah, I'm digging myself.

Speaker 6 (23:34):
It ran this course, you know, Delta bottom out and
then if you didn't join the union, they was kicking
you out out anyway. So so they just kicked me
out because I didn't I didn't enjoy the.

Speaker 3 (23:46):
So but you were already kind of like I don't
want to I don't want to get don't want to
lose a hand.

Speaker 5 (23:49):
I mean, you know, it's just it ran escort.

Speaker 6 (23:52):
But you know I had a friend who made a
career out of it, So I was on his CampaignOn
pass football.

Speaker 5 (23:58):
Yeah it's without lifting the bag. So yeah, I'll take
care of him every year annually, Like hey man, we're
doing it again.

Speaker 6 (24:12):
Yeah man, let me send you something where we're going
to eat at.

Speaker 5 (24:15):
Let me take care of you.

Speaker 6 (24:16):
So for five yes, it's paying pass and your.

Speaker 4 (24:21):
Best friends stayed in the game and you got out
and he still lets you get.

Speaker 2 (24:28):
Take note, this is a good thing. Make friends with
someone who works for the airlines.

Speaker 5 (24:33):
I mean, comedians are still doing this, but today they
jump on friends companion pass and they're able to get
around and make money. It's a great perk if you
find a friend a matter of fact, yeah some you know, yeah,
you got to take care of that friend.

Speaker 4 (24:48):
And on the other side, on the other side, if
you work for an airline, you can befriend comedians like
is they want to be your friends, be like I
wanted to have you want Yeah, if you want a
comedian friend, just say, hey, I think you're funny. I

(25:10):
work for so and so airlines.

Speaker 2 (25:13):
Let me you have.

Speaker 4 (25:14):
I have a companion pass that I like you. I
like you more than I like my wife. You're my
companion now you're my bluss one.

Speaker 5 (25:26):
Yeah, you got you gotta pay.

Speaker 4 (25:27):
As long as you're funnier than their wives. You can
have a companion past to young comedians like that listens.
There's a lot of comedians listeners podcast because uh, they learn,
they learned from there. It's a respect from their elders
and learn from their elders.

Speaker 3 (25:44):
But also we're also an educational podcast. People don't talk
about that enough. We're we're like PBS.

Speaker 4 (25:50):
Now it's CBS, it's Comedians Broadcasting System.

Speaker 2 (25:54):
It's so you got to the airlines KJD.

Speaker 6 (25:59):
You go after the air Oh, I was a teacher
for seventeen years. I don't know if you guys.

Speaker 5 (26:04):
Oh ship, no, we like that. Yeah, I was what
did you teach?

Speaker 6 (26:08):
I was high school, uh, special ed level one through
four general ed to grad school for dropped out of
grad school about four four classes away from a master's degree.

Speaker 5 (26:19):
But I went for psychology and education.

Speaker 4 (26:23):
You were four classes away from getting regular education, and
they were like you you're special.

Speaker 5 (26:34):
Master's degree in education.

Speaker 6 (26:36):
I was in a specialized program for urban urban teacher
called Collaborate or urban Educator. So I went to I
got my teacher sections. Then I was in the inner
city high school, you know, went to North Henry Edison,
and then my last few years I was at a
charter school called donew Withdy High School.

Speaker 5 (26:58):
Uh.

Speaker 6 (26:58):
But that wasn't just like it was a different capacity.
I was like the building for the whole school, so
I taught all subjects then.

Speaker 5 (27:06):
But that my Minneapolis colored uh inner city one was Yeah.

Speaker 6 (27:13):
I was at Henry, uh predominantly urban, all black school,
and I.

Speaker 5 (27:17):
Think I wrote a bit about it.

Speaker 6 (27:18):
I used to do about how we had a kid
from Hurricane Katrina. He's about six three to forty two
pounds and about five percent Buddy, body fat, look like Jesus. Yeah,
it looked like.

Speaker 5 (27:31):
An NFL Linebreger. He was down the Hurricane Katrina.

Speaker 4 (27:35):
You had a sixth grade Mike Tyson.

Speaker 5 (27:38):
Uh no, twelfth grade eleven or twelfth grade.

Speaker 4 (27:41):
Eleven grade Mike Tyson. This kid was literal act Tyson.

Speaker 5 (27:46):
Yeah. Nice, he's a big kid. He was. Yeah, he.

Speaker 6 (27:52):
Looked like he'd been wrestling alligators down there. He was
a big kid, but he was a Most people don't
know that there's low was to special ed, you know,
because kids have behavior issues and then they have a
history of traumatized issues that that leak into creating the
behavior they have. Now I'm talking psychology a little bit.
But but like this particular kid, you know, toward the

(28:16):
end of my high school career, it was it was interesting.
I'll just tell the story like like I tell it.
One of the most stays with you, guy, But it's a
very very true story. So the kid, I remember coming
in and they had a I had a new I
e P h Individual Individual Education Plan, that's what we
call it I e P.

Speaker 5 (28:36):
So they gave it to me.

Speaker 6 (28:38):
I came in, I actually was off worker extra week,
you know, just over Mexico, back then, I think I
was drinking or something.

Speaker 5 (28:45):
Party and I've been twelve years sobers since.

Speaker 4 (28:48):
You just got back from partying to Mexico and they
give you a new plan, the giant child.

Speaker 6 (28:56):
They get ready and I'm reading this thing, you know,
like you.

Speaker 2 (29:03):
Like that nice tan Mexico.

Speaker 6 (29:12):
I'm reading this file for going to classroom, trying to see,
you know, check his profile. You know, I hear the
trauma and all that, so you know, I try to
treat What makes me unique as a teacher is when
you don't judge him. You try to stay neutral. You
try to just you know, be an educator, you know so,
but you know, learn.

Speaker 4 (29:30):
From them as they can teach you.

Speaker 5 (29:33):
Yeah, yeah they are so you say. You try to
keep open minds.

Speaker 6 (29:36):
So you know, back then, I I've been in the
fashion I was a big and tall casual model the
year one year, so a few years.

Speaker 3 (29:44):
I like, I like how kJ just slipped that in.
By the way, I was also.

Speaker 2 (29:51):
Not a big deal.

Speaker 6 (29:53):
You know, you're a teacher. You gotta have sie hustle.
They all always enough money when you're trying to take
care of family, marriage and.

Speaker 5 (29:58):
Stuff like that.

Speaker 6 (29:59):
You got kids, I got all this stuff so I
come in, and you know, I was dressed up and
the you know, and I put my file out and
classes a little unorderly, and I said, and the young man,
you know, I'm looking at him because I haven't seen him,
you know.

Speaker 5 (30:15):
I said, hey, young man, can you sit out and
be quiet?

Speaker 6 (30:17):
And you know, in a very articulate, you know, you know,
not real loud voice, I said, hey, young man, can
you sit down and be quiet?

Speaker 5 (30:27):
You know? And he's like, fuck you.

Speaker 4 (30:33):
Well come back.

Speaker 6 (30:36):
Other kids looked around and I can hear it. I'm like, oh,
mister kJ you're gonna let him talk to you like that.
You're gonna let him punk you. You're gonna be a
big old bitch up in here. You're gonna let him.
I said, hey, I said, he calm down, come back.
I say, hey, you man, I need you to sit
down and be quiet. He said, fuck you, big old, tall,
lanky bitch.

Speaker 5 (30:58):
I'm looking around like who the this kid? You too?
And then the kids, you.

Speaker 6 (31:05):
Know, they gonna edge him on. And yeah, they gonna
edge him on. And uh so I said, hey, I
ain't gonna tell you no more. Sit down and be quiet.
He said, So he said, fuck you and pick the
desk up and threw it at me, right yeah, and
it landed. The desk landed on my big toe, and

(31:27):
you know, I'm bent over. It's PANDEMONI and now the
lost control of the classroom kids like, oh, mister kJ
then punked you. You's a big old bitch up in here,
Miss K What you're gonna do? You're gonna let him
punk you? And in my mind, y'all, I'm I'm I
ain't know what I was gonna do, but I know
I had to get that desk off my toe. So
I picked up and threw it back at him and

(31:48):
said fuck you too. And then all you rupie. Oh
mister kJ, you cussed, So I said, don't act like
you ain't heard no cuss word. You motherfucker's been cussing
all morning. It was like, I'm about to beat your
tall linky. Yes, And so he threw the desk out
the way and he came to throw a punch at me,
and just so happened. I seen the punch coming because

(32:12):
like I've been in the dojo, I've been in the boxing,
so I just duck. But I meant to push him,
but I didn't. I actually didn't hit him on the crowns. No,
and he was he and the kids like he went
down and the kids like, ooh, you got knocked the
fuck out, And I.

Speaker 5 (32:28):
Was like, you know, I'm panicking now.

Speaker 4 (32:31):
No, No, I did not knock him out. There was
an open fist. It was I had open hands though.

Speaker 6 (32:38):
No, I ain't even say that. I just said no, no, no,
he slipped and fell.

Speaker 2 (32:41):
Somebody goes slipped and felt he slipped and fell.

Speaker 4 (32:47):
Somebody gonna get his own face, his own face.

Speaker 3 (32:50):
If any of you think he didn't slip and fall,
you're also going to slipping falls.

Speaker 6 (32:58):
Study of that for that instant back there, there was
no cameras in the room.

Speaker 5 (33:03):
And he was out though it was you.

Speaker 4 (33:06):
Would legally tell this story.

Speaker 2 (33:08):
Now, is this.

Speaker 4 (33:11):
Sat your limitations?

Speaker 6 (33:12):
Who's gonna go back over up my pole? Matter of fact?
Matter of fact, they've been emailing me to come back, you.

Speaker 4 (33:21):
Know, please, the kids are out of control. The slip
and fall.

Speaker 2 (33:29):
Yeah, we know you have a certain skills.

Speaker 5 (33:33):
Let me finish the story.

Speaker 6 (33:34):
Man, Once you get get because you're gonna you're gonna
really enjoy the rest of the story.

Speaker 5 (33:38):
There's more, Yeah, there's more to It's not over. Let
me finish the story. Man.

Speaker 4 (33:43):
The rest of the class slipped and vout.

Speaker 5 (33:46):
Joe, stay with me. The kid is out cold. Man, Now.

Speaker 6 (33:50):
The kid is out cold. So I said, let me
get two football players. We got to drag him to
the nurse office. So we fear of us. We can't
hend them to the nurse. If was lucky, it's just
down the hall. So we get him in there and
the doors open. Nurse got a sign up, I'll be
back after lunch. Right. No, I was like, okay, let's

(34:10):
get some more eyes. So I his head right and
so he wakes up right.

Speaker 4 (34:15):
I was like, thank god, thank god, your dad, you
let me finish.

Speaker 5 (34:23):
Let me he says.

Speaker 6 (34:24):
He looked at the football players and he said what happened?
The football players tell him you got knocked the funk
out and I said, no, he didn't. We talked about
that on the way down here.

Speaker 5 (34:33):
Remember remember in the script, they said, okay, okay, mister case,
remember you the nurse.

Speaker 6 (34:44):
Come back and uh you get a call. The principal
called the nurse all they want to see me, and
the principal I was.

Speaker 4 (34:53):
Like, he found, he fell, he foul, he found.

Speaker 5 (34:58):
So I get I get to the prince for office.

Speaker 6 (35:00):
You know, I'm nervous, my heart plump, and I'm like, man,
I can't believe this ship is happened. Man, I got
a child, So I walked, kid, Joe, let.

Speaker 5 (35:13):
Me finish the stone. Joe is having a ball with this.

Speaker 4 (35:21):
Story.

Speaker 2 (35:21):
Joe, Joe, let fish story.

Speaker 5 (35:24):
Let me finish, God damn story.

Speaker 4 (35:25):
I wish you were my teacher in I school. Dude,
you might beat up my bully. Let me.

Speaker 5 (35:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (35:37):
So I walk into principal office, right. I just my
head down. I'm trying to make eye cond of when
I look up. He just shaking his head, and then
he just started to smile. He said, I want to
thank you for knocking that throne.

Speaker 5 (35:50):
Ass kid out. He knocked out two teachers and two
students while he was gone, and then he said, don't
worry about it.

Speaker 6 (36:00):
We did its quickly, investigating kids said it was self defense.
He said, you're gonna get a week off with administration pay.

Speaker 5 (36:08):
And no, god damn it did.

Speaker 6 (36:14):
He recent his desk and gave me a gift certificate
for a hundred dollars for ruby to to me, told me,
told me get on out of here, for I changed all.
He said, you in the week, right, So I was.

Speaker 4 (36:32):
I went to Tuesdays for a week.

Speaker 6 (36:35):
I was drinking in Joe, I went to Ruby Tuesday
order one hundred dollars worth of Hennessy shots. I said,
line them on, line up. By the fact I was
drinking that whole week, I thought I was fill in Mexico.
I I come back a week later. Right, I walked
in the classroom. You all, you can hear a pin drop.

(36:57):
They're scared.

Speaker 5 (36:58):
Thank god you got so.

Speaker 4 (37:02):
None of the kids knew you were just on Ruby
Tuesday's leave. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (37:08):
Like that, you got death duty like a cop.

Speaker 6 (37:13):
I'm trying to come to the closure the story. So
so I walked back in the classroom, and you can
hear piningch out. The only way I can break ice
was I had to I had to practice, Joe. We
were studying English, and so we was on So I
put up a line, give me a phrase that I
always say.

Speaker 5 (37:32):
They say, own my mama. So I put it on
the board. I said, oh my mama. I said that.

Speaker 6 (37:38):
Now y'all can't say that. That's not a correct that's
that's a that's not a prepositional phrases. It's one too
many words. Oh my mama, you gotta rephrase it like
questions like where's your daddy?

Speaker 4 (37:53):
You know, like that.

Speaker 6 (37:56):
They started laughing, right, I said, mister Cage, oh man,
They said, miss kJ Uh, we want to thank you God.

Speaker 5 (38:05):
That dude, he's been awfully nice to her. Sent you know.
She knocked them out right. And then then his mom
called me. His mom called me. She said, I don't
know what you did to that month my son, to
come home to all the homework and all that the roll.

Speaker 4 (38:29):
Did you get fucking teacher of the Year at the school.

Speaker 6 (38:35):
Look y'all, y'all don't even know the rest. I walk
in lunchtime, I walk into teacher slung.

Speaker 5 (38:40):
They gave me like three.

Speaker 4 (38:42):
You got more Ruby Tuesdays, gift guards.

Speaker 6 (38:45):
Card bugs, me, all kind of kind of uh giving
you that they got. They gave me gifts her They said,
man arise school. I was like, and then so so
when I seen the principal, he said, came here, came here,
you know, for I went back into class.

Speaker 5 (39:04):
I forgot to tell you this part. He said, are
you ready to teach? How you feel? How you feel?
You ready to go back to you, I said, what
you mean how I feel? I need to know if
you are what you mean? How you feeling? I said,
I said, for one hundred dollars in a week off,
I knocked another guy.

Speaker 2 (39:20):
Is there any other kids don't?

Speaker 5 (39:21):
Like?

Speaker 4 (39:22):
Yeah? Like you're like ready, Yeah, give me the one.

Speaker 5 (39:26):
I told you this whole goddamn school out for a week.

Speaker 4 (39:30):
Give me another baddy, I'll clean a clock, Tuesday's gift
guard the week.

Speaker 5 (39:37):
Come on. So he started laughing.

Speaker 6 (39:40):
Yeah, it was yeah.

Speaker 3 (39:43):
And this kid, mm hmmm, he's good now, right he
actually graduated Sumer Cooper.

Speaker 5 (39:51):
Hey, I'll tell you crazy part about it. To the
crazy part about this kid.

Speaker 4 (39:56):
He now is assistant at SpaceX.

Speaker 6 (40:01):
Look, I tell you the crazy part about this. Let
me tell you something that that really happened that nobody knows.

Speaker 4 (40:08):
He's now the offensive linement the Green Bay Packers.

Speaker 6 (40:14):
I will tell you something. As a teacher, you know,
some very stressful job. So at nighttime I would go
out and party, dream, you know, dance. You know, we
had this club called the Riverview.

Speaker 5 (40:24):
Back in the day.

Speaker 4 (40:25):
Was that was that a teacher club?

Speaker 5 (40:27):
No, it's like it's like a it's like it was,
but it wasn't.

Speaker 4 (40:31):
It wasn't like the spot that the teachers went to,
also that the awesome kids and fun people went to.
It was just a fun spot that fun people went to, the.

Speaker 5 (40:40):
Fun spot that that a lot of black people went to, and.

Speaker 4 (40:43):
Not many teachers unless they were black teachers. Yeah, okay,
professional like, it wasn't a white teacher spot. It was
a black teacher spot. Tuesdays is the white teacher spot.
That's why you got it from the principal again card
it was.

Speaker 5 (41:01):
A black club.

Speaker 4 (41:02):
Mann't have a gift card to the black club because
you would have spent the week there. He's like, Hey,
you know what, I have a one hundred gift cards
to this super awesome black club that I shouldn't.

Speaker 2 (41:13):
You're at the club.

Speaker 5 (41:14):
Okay, okay, Joe, because I'm gonna send Joe and stop.

Speaker 4 (41:23):
I need. That makes it worse. I need? What is
I need? Horse? One day of walking horses.

Speaker 6 (41:31):
Like Sarah, let me finish. Okay, here's let me bring
this home. So I'm at this club right when your
teacher is stressful. You know a lot of teachers drink, drink,
smoke weed to get sleepy special heads stress. So I'm
at this like this gray. This girl, she's red bone,
she's pretty girl, right, and just so happened. We hit

(41:52):
it off, went back to her place, party, had a
good time. She let me hit it whatever, and she's
pretty girl, you know, we you know. And then after
where I say, hey, you know, I had a good night.
I hope to see you again. So she said, she said, here,
you know, why don't you take a shower, you know,
And she came in a towel, and she gave me
some soap and the tooth brush, and then she gave
me this shirt. She said it was a brother shirt.

(42:14):
You can't go back to work with the same clothes on.
I said, you know, I'm aware, but you know I
don't believe brother shirt. But anyway, I put the shirt on, right.
I took a shower first, clean myself because I you know,
I spent the night with her. I didn't go home,
you know.

Speaker 4 (42:32):
And so twisted the story. And I'm waiting and.

Speaker 5 (42:37):
Waiting, Joe, I'm bringing it home.

Speaker 6 (42:40):
So I give hers. I said, I can't wait to
see you again. Right, So I'm gready to leave.

Speaker 5 (42:47):
I'm gready to leave, right, And I get to the
living room and I hear his voice and said, what
you're doing about it's the grown kid that.

Speaker 6 (43:02):
Got the true story. I't know it was his mama. No, man,
I should have two together. All was just party and
have a good time. I didn't put two or two together.
And then he said he miscatch what you're doing in
mis The only thing I can say was me and
your mama had paring teaching conference last night.

Speaker 4 (43:16):
We were yeah, you got you got better grades. Good job,
you did job. We want, we want.

Speaker 5 (43:24):
We wanted to make sure you was all right.

Speaker 4 (43:26):
Yeah, I was doing one of them. I rarely do this,
but I do some home checks.

Speaker 2 (43:33):
Actually, you seem like you're doing good.

Speaker 5 (43:36):
Looks at me.

Speaker 2 (43:37):
It's like I'm here for round two. And then he
starts cracking the snuckles.

Speaker 4 (43:40):
So h dude, I thought kJ when you started the
story and you and you were like put on the
other T shirt and ship and then I thought you
were going to go back to school and be teaching.
And one of the kids goes, that's the same T
shirt my dad had, Like that's what I thought. So
you even you even circumvented that hole, like you didn't

(44:05):
even make it to class. It was and this was
an old kid from one of your older grades, like
he was.

Speaker 5 (44:13):
He knocked out kid, I knocked out.

Speaker 6 (44:17):
Man.

Speaker 4 (44:17):
If you wouldn't come him off, you would have caught that.

Speaker 6 (44:19):
Yes, I met his mom at the club. Didn't know
it was his mom until I got to the living room.
He looks up and say, hey, mister kJ what you're
doing at my house? The only thing I could say was,
me and your mama had parent teacher conference last night.
We wanted to make sure you was all right. And
he started laughing. I started laughing, And I got to school.

(44:40):
He became my teacher's pet. So when the other kid
was like like, hey y'all, butter be quiet, mister case
knock y'all fuck out.

Speaker 5 (44:46):
And I was like, I had to pull him and say,
hey man, calm down.

Speaker 4 (44:48):
Man, look yo bro, like I got in class. I
was like, calm down, I need you to learn.

Speaker 5 (44:54):
I told him, calm down, you're scaring anybody. Man said
what your mom cooking the night. I'm gonna be bylett
the last.

Speaker 2 (45:03):
Turn on that one.

Speaker 4 (45:05):
Make a spot for me. I'm coming over, by the way.
Stop fucking kids in class.

Speaker 6 (45:11):
Yeah, he was cool after that. He was cool man
because yeah, and she she we yeah, me and his
mother was cool. And then that was my last you live.

Speaker 3 (45:21):
You lived the dream of every teacher in this country
because not only did you get to knock out a
student and.

Speaker 2 (45:26):
Get away with it, well you and you also did
the kid's mom.

Speaker 9 (45:33):
Yeah, so that that was my Yeah it is, but
Banana's story because not only that, you know, like I
have other kids come in from other classes and I'll
be hearing them talk.

Speaker 5 (45:47):
And you know, when you single, I'm young, I'm probably
late twenties, early thirties. Here girl, he was over my mom.
I was last week.

Speaker 4 (45:53):
He was his mouth be a little children. I was
not at your mom his house, shut shut.

Speaker 5 (46:04):
I was a bad teacher before they made bad.

Speaker 4 (46:07):
But to say I was, look at me, I'm terrible teacher.
You want to learn something, you shut the fuck up.

Speaker 3 (46:14):
You get a little about the real version of the
substitute in the classroom.

Speaker 5 (46:18):
I was very good with the kids. Honestly, I was
very good.

Speaker 4 (46:22):
I have you agree with the kids because you were
better with the mom.

Speaker 5 (46:31):
Okay, oh, but you you know, like I said, bad.

Speaker 4 (46:41):
My mom loves you, mister. Is they my mom can't
stop talking about you, mister.

Speaker 5 (46:51):
Teachers. I had some parents dropped back weed or come
in from we.

Speaker 4 (46:58):
A handshake, just dap you dapping up the teacher.

Speaker 5 (47:04):
Stu's weed from its like give me, no, I'm I
use it as leverage.

Speaker 4 (47:13):
I'm turning this in. I'm definitely turning this in the
principal I have.

Speaker 2 (47:19):
I have a lot of experience with this. I did
that at the airlines for four years.

Speaker 4 (47:23):
Right, he's been turning the weed he took from me
in all year. It's like, I don't know what you're
talking about. Marijuana you got.

Speaker 5 (47:33):
The best part is you can burn the evidence.

Speaker 4 (47:35):
Yes, you literally did to your face.

Speaker 5 (47:40):
That's the best way to do it.

Speaker 6 (47:42):
You know.

Speaker 4 (47:43):
I'm gonna do you a favor, and I am just
I'm gonna.

Speaker 2 (47:47):
I'm gonna smoke all of this weed in front of
you to teach.

Speaker 4 (47:51):
Yeah, it's like this.

Speaker 3 (47:54):
It's like the cigarettes, only like, no, no, I will
smoke this in your people gonna watch me smoke.

Speaker 4 (48:01):
All the all of these.

Speaker 5 (48:05):
Oh my god, you guys are hilarious.

Speaker 3 (48:10):
Is there any other Is there any other story? Especially
from teaching? Like again, you were probably a legend in
the you want.

Speaker 4 (48:15):
To yeah, all the moms, legend of the moms.

Speaker 2 (48:19):
The legends of the teachers too. They're like you lived
out there dreaming.

Speaker 4 (48:22):
Knocked he knocked the kid out.

Speaker 5 (48:24):
Only I'll tell you one more, one more, one more
teacher story.

Speaker 4 (48:27):
Okay, teachers come up to you and be like, okay,
j how we can't knock They go up to him
like people used to go up to Foreman, like I
saw you at seventy two. Yeah, oh my god.

Speaker 5 (48:41):
They come to their room. Talk today, kid.

Speaker 4 (48:45):
You know what you did is there is you have
a legend of knocking out children. So they're just all
scared of you. Could you teach my class? Can you
talk to my class?

Speaker 5 (48:55):
Is?

Speaker 4 (48:56):
Would you come to my class and talk to the
one jackalope telling me that I could go fuck myself?

Speaker 2 (49:05):
You got one more you got from.

Speaker 6 (49:10):
Uh?

Speaker 5 (49:10):
So uh.

Speaker 6 (49:13):
Reced have like on Tuesday, Taco Tuesday, Mexican food Day, right,
and uh I don't know what what they put in it?

Speaker 5 (49:23):
So uh the kids being you know, like I.

Speaker 6 (49:26):
Told you their special ed mixed with regular AD. But
the regular AD was starting this ship. Now they were
acting real special kids.

Speaker 4 (49:36):
Regular got special.

Speaker 5 (49:39):
Yeah, they got real special.

Speaker 4 (49:43):
To the mix.

Speaker 6 (49:44):
They start farting so much, they start rating their force.
I mean they let them out. You can hear them out. Nine,
that's nine, that's ten. That's the eight I mean.

Speaker 4 (49:54):
And they the rating farts Taco day. Yeah, after everybody's
blowing stuff up on the regular kids side, special kids
hold them in.

Speaker 6 (50:07):
They're blowing them up. So one day I said, okay,
every week this would happen. So one day I'm gonna eat.
I'm gonna have it and see what's what's so you know.

Speaker 4 (50:17):
About the tagos.

Speaker 5 (50:20):
So it's about it's close to.

Speaker 4 (50:23):
The end of the day, right, they rip, You're about
to blow up a tiny toilet.

Speaker 5 (50:28):
So I go back there.

Speaker 2 (50:31):
Elementary high school, Joe, he never taught elementary.

Speaker 4 (50:36):
Yeah, that's right. I don't know why I keep thinking
he taught elementary because it would be hot.

Speaker 3 (50:40):
That's a very different story about him knocking a kid
out if he was an elementary all right.

Speaker 4 (50:46):
First off, the kids are getting bigger these days. Secondly,
I think it's funnier if.

Speaker 2 (50:51):
You can get taken a first grader.

Speaker 4 (50:54):
I thought it was really shitty. It would be funny
if the ship toilet.

Speaker 6 (51:01):
So so I go back there and I told him,
I said, hey, you know, I actually because I said, hey, man,
y'all will knock that ship off.

Speaker 5 (51:08):
Man, I'm tired of it smelling y'all ship, you know,
because I'm cussing. Now, you know, they know me. I
can get away with it.

Speaker 6 (51:15):
Now.

Speaker 4 (51:15):
You got to kid out, you can say what the
hell you want? And there's you.

Speaker 6 (51:21):
So while I'm back there, you know, I feel my
stomach balling. I'm like, oh ship. So I let out
a side and killing right. So the two kids, you know,
two big kids, you know, they said, man, no, man,
you you going too far.

Speaker 5 (51:36):
Man.

Speaker 6 (51:36):
We was like, you let that ship out right in
on my nose. And so they start arguing. So they
start getting in a fight, right. So I go back
and break the fight out. I tell the assistant, my
assistant teacher court, I said, take them to the office, man.
So they take it to the office. They get ready.
Principal called me. He said, yeah, I'm getting ready to
spend them because you know they was wanting to fight

(51:58):
down here.

Speaker 5 (51:59):
I said, I said, no, don't suspend them.

Speaker 6 (52:01):
He said why, I think because them force could have
came from any one of them other kids.

Speaker 4 (52:08):
You blame that other kids. You didn't even blame your tutus,
old tuts.

Speaker 2 (52:14):
He just pulled he pulled the oldest of the dog.

Speaker 6 (52:19):
Because I didn't want him to get suspended, because I
let out the one that really talk.

Speaker 4 (52:23):
That was the one that was the one that started
to fight.

Speaker 3 (52:26):
Actually, kJ, I think you should have You should have
taken credit because you may have gotten another week off
and Ruby, I should I should have.

Speaker 4 (52:36):
Oh, well done, sir, I cannot applaud you more. But
there was another one hundred dollars for Ruby.

Speaker 6 (52:44):
Tuesdays was credibility with the kids. So I kept it simple.
But because you know, at the same time, I love.

Speaker 4 (52:50):
That you let the two kids fight over your fart.

Speaker 3 (52:53):
Was that your heart?

Speaker 4 (52:54):
You made a sticky old man fart. You do I
don't make old man farts. I'm like, oh, yeah, you
want to fight the is.

Speaker 5 (53:03):
But I didn't let him. I didn't let him get suspended.
I told him, don't suspend him. Man.

Speaker 3 (53:07):
Yeah, I know you didn't get him in the end,
the right thing, even though your end is what caused
the wrong.

Speaker 4 (53:13):
Did the right thing, but you started the wrong thing
out of your wrong end is.

Speaker 5 (53:21):
But yeah, and I have crazy stories, man, and the
other stuff too. I have stories.

Speaker 6 (53:29):
That's why I'm kind of writing a screenplay. Man I'm
probably in it. I'm probably I'm probably in the in
the third act. Man, it's called.

Speaker 4 (53:39):
Don't tell us what.

Speaker 5 (53:41):
Don't tell them my listeners what it is.

Speaker 4 (53:43):
They'll steal your fucking ship.

Speaker 2 (53:46):
You're never going to farting teacher who not to kill.
We have make the movies.

Speaker 4 (53:52):
We come up with so many great ideas on this show,
Like people the Shark Tank is Mark Cuban listens to
ours and steals most.

Speaker 6 (54:01):
Of it is.

Speaker 4 (54:02):
So do not say anything. Are Cuban's gonna steal it? Dude,
So just keep it until you have the LLC and
then sell it on Shark Tank.

Speaker 2 (54:12):
I look that my screenplays on Shark Tank.

Speaker 4 (54:15):
No it's not because that was a terrible screenplay, dude.
It was all about sharks.

Speaker 6 (54:20):
And all right, I'll do I'll do one more story.
It's not about teaching. This is about one of my
favorite story I just put in my routine. Maybe you
guys will like it, maybe you'll understand it.

Speaker 5 (54:34):
I don't know.

Speaker 6 (54:34):
Okay, So how did I get to Minnesota? People don't
realize before I was a comedian or a teacher. You know,
my first dream was being an NBA player. I went
to several different schools and then I find it. I
was at the University of New Orleans until the Mardi
Girl messed up on TKA and I went to Missouri
Western State College was called State Missouri Missouri State University.

Speaker 5 (54:57):
Now do you do it?

Speaker 4 (54:59):
One of them and I pre nil transfer transfers were like, shit.

Speaker 6 (55:05):
No, it's it's uh. You know, you messed your grades.
If you gotta go to summer school, you got to
find oother scholarship. So it wasn't no transfer portals.

Speaker 4 (55:12):
Oh oh, you just party too hard in Knowlans and
then you had a You were like, oh.

Speaker 6 (55:21):
No, the Mighty Girl messed up on GPA, you know
they and then you gotta go. You got to work out,
you gotta get your game back. You got to do
a lot of time. So anyway, make a long story short,
I went to the NBA Summer League in nineteen eighty nine.
I had two teams. I played my way up to
two teams at interests Minnesota Timberwolves and North Carolina Hornets.
So I remember I had an auntie.

Speaker 5 (55:41):
Live here and I called her. I said, hey, Auntie
house Minnesota. She said, oh, you love Minnesota. The white
girls love brothers.

Speaker 4 (55:48):
And I love your auntie. I already love your auntie.

Speaker 5 (55:55):
I said, I'm on my way.

Speaker 6 (55:56):
So I got here and I worked out with the
team and then as a player, me and him twins,
we look just like his. We're a doppel gamer. His
name is Sam Mitchell. If you watch NBA TV.

Speaker 4 (56:06):
Love Sam Mitchell.

Speaker 5 (56:08):
Yes, he has a bald head. I still got hair.

Speaker 4 (56:13):
That's how the twins mess.

Speaker 5 (56:16):
He just got hair. He's my doppel gamer.

Speaker 4 (56:20):
So I'm your doppel ganger with hair.

Speaker 6 (56:24):
Is that twenty five years ago plus twenty five years
ago plus nineteen eighty nine something around there.

Speaker 4 (56:29):
So anyway, we still got more hand than sam Mitchell.

Speaker 5 (56:32):
I know.

Speaker 6 (56:32):
I said that.

Speaker 5 (56:36):
I said he ball hereded. I stupid.

Speaker 4 (56:38):
He was balled in the eighties.

Speaker 6 (56:41):
You know he had here Yeah here man. So anyway,
let me finish the start. So my auntie, since I
asked my auntie, I said, hey, where they make the
movie Purple Range. She's like, you got to go to
this club on first album? I said, Oh, I love
Chris music. I told her how time I sent Princeton College,
how it was to go and you know and be,

(57:02):
you know, see where they made the movie. So she
bought me this thrift. She bought me this coat, this
mean coke, mean hat from the thrift. She said, put
this on you want to look the park. And she said,
I said this came from the three start. She said,
ain't nobody gonna know, Just wear it, you know, So yes,
so I put it on there, and sure enough, the
coke got a lot of tension. Man, I'm turning head.

(57:23):
Ladies packing on, you know, hitting on me. You know,
there's a lot of conversation going. So I'm twenty five
years old, having the time of my life, and I'm
down on the first avenue and then out of nowhere,
Prince walks up to me, puts his hand out and
he looks up and says, hey, Sam, I love your game. Omit,
I said, fuck it, Sam, I am.

Speaker 4 (57:45):
Thank you very much. I am saying, Michel, wonderful.

Speaker 5 (57:52):
And so the story gets better. So he has he says,
see my two lady friends, once you come out to
Paisley Park, we're gonna music, play, basketball, practice, whatever.

Speaker 6 (58:01):
And so the two lady friends, yeah, you can hang
out with them for the whole weekend whatever. They're gonna
get you, right. So they grabbed me to me out
there showing up. We had the time of our life,
you know, music, basketball, pancakes, whatever. So the night ends,
it's about five am. The ladies like you you you
want to come with us. We're gonna go back to
our place and we want to smoke a little weed, drinking.

Speaker 5 (58:21):
Like, yeah, let's go, let's let's do it. I ain't
got nothing to do.

Speaker 6 (58:23):
So we get back there, we start drinking, smoking weed, whatever,
having a good time.

Speaker 4 (58:27):
You know, if you say Sam Mitchell shows up at
some point, I'm gonna lose my goddamn mind.

Speaker 5 (58:36):
Mitchell, let me Jo Yoss definitely would have been in
my class. J you all right, this is what else happened.

(58:57):
Let me finish the story.

Speaker 2 (58:58):
So you smoke, you drink.

Speaker 6 (59:00):
We smoked, we drank. They put on some porn, right,
and then we start making porn and I was like, oh,
and in my mind we get done. I said, Oh,
in my mind, I said, god damn it. I know
Sam Mitchell was huge here tonight. Look at Joe and
then look, Joe can best video, Joe, Joe, let me

(59:23):
finish the story. I'm almost done. So the next day
I get to practice. Sam said, hey man, what you
do last night? I just looked at and said nothing.

Speaker 5 (59:31):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (59:33):
Okay, hey, right, so Perkins, I went to Perkins, I
went to Sam Purgos.

Speaker 6 (59:40):
Here here's what happened twenty some years later with my
wife and gas. Some girl is saying, hey, Sam, Hey, Sam,
my wife look at me. I think she talked to
you all. Look at my watch, and my name mains Sam.
So the girl walks up there and put her hands.

Speaker 5 (59:53):
On my shoulder and she said, hey, I remember remember me,
I remember you. One of your balls is bigger than
the other. White look at me like your father. One
of your balls. Well you know this bitch from like
you know.

Speaker 4 (01:00:08):
Sam Mitchell's balls are also one bigger than the other.
It's a funny.

Speaker 2 (01:00:13):
I showered with him a lot. I would know.

Speaker 4 (01:00:16):
I know Sam balls also look exactly like my balls.

Speaker 2 (01:00:21):
It's amazing how much friends we really were.

Speaker 4 (01:00:24):
That's why we became friends on the basketball team, because
all balls were so similar.

Speaker 2 (01:00:30):
Your wife is like, how does she know what your
balls look like?

Speaker 4 (01:00:33):
Right at a gas station.

Speaker 5 (01:00:36):
So so.

Speaker 6 (01:00:40):
You know, I played sports you know before, you know,
back in the day, you know, and I just come on,
you know, I'm probably probably was probably it.

Speaker 4 (01:00:51):
Was probably those girls. It was sam Mitchell.

Speaker 5 (01:00:56):
I probably was a better player off the court and
I was on you know, uh but yeah, that was
yeah story.

Speaker 4 (01:01:06):
It's like sam Mitchell's penis is also it too.

Speaker 5 (01:01:10):
Man.

Speaker 6 (01:01:11):
Later that night, you know, I at home. You know,
my wife, she's gonna let the ghost like, so she
gets dressed up. You know, she put on the lgeride,
she put the sam Mitchell jersey on.

Speaker 5 (01:01:22):
No, she gets dressed. You you're listening.

Speaker 4 (01:01:29):
I'm digging myself there.

Speaker 5 (01:01:30):
But that was that was haveing you hit the bell
using my class.

Speaker 4 (01:01:37):
At least that means we're gonna fight. What was belling
you dude?

Speaker 6 (01:01:44):
So so anyway, were at home that night. You know
my wife, you know, she gets she gets, you know,
put on her sexy clothes. Library then I heard, you
know from the bedroom, Hey Sam, Hey Sam, bringing that
sam Mitchell get here. So I was like, fucking love

(01:02:05):
your wife, I said, is.

Speaker 4 (01:02:10):
That next level ship?

Speaker 5 (01:02:12):
So anyway, the last tag to the joke is like
that is twenty five years younger. I can't do that,
she said, why. I said, well, you have to run
another woman. So so yeah, that.

Speaker 2 (01:02:31):
Your jersey, you gotta hang you out from the raptors
of your closet.

Speaker 4 (01:02:35):
Yeah, you gotta hang your jersey that you should probably
also hang sam Mitchell's jersey, right.

Speaker 5 (01:02:44):
That is that bit will be in my special whenever
I decided.

Speaker 3 (01:02:50):
This is the random gas station parts. And then then
she comes up like, oh, I know what his balls.
That's like, oh it's you.

Speaker 4 (01:02:58):
Sam bitches sam Mitchell's balls, sang regular like no, no, no, you're.

Speaker 3 (01:03:06):
That's like that's how you're like, that's how she thinks
She's gonna like be like, oh, yeah, of course, now
I remember, Yes, I've seen Yes, my nuts are slapping
off your ass.

Speaker 2 (01:03:16):
In ninety one. I remember that that's your balls. Who
is Sandy doing these days?

Speaker 5 (01:03:23):
Like what.

Speaker 4 (01:03:26):
I am? I'm about to I'm the R and D
on this show, and I'm about to look up I'm so.

Speaker 3 (01:03:31):
Man was about to have a very fucked up Google
and yeah, no, no, I'm looking up.

Speaker 4 (01:03:38):
What's his name again, sam Mitchell, Jesus Christ, sam Mitchell's balls.
That's what I'm looking up on the interne. I don't
think you're gonna find anything sam Mitchell's I'm pretty sure
I'm gonna find like an angry tinder lady. Are you
still friends with Sam Mitchell.

Speaker 5 (01:03:56):
You still talk to him.

Speaker 4 (01:03:59):
You're like, every once in a while you show him
a text at your balls.

Speaker 5 (01:04:06):
I haven't seen him in years.

Speaker 6 (01:04:08):
He probably won't even hear about this story until I
do a comedy special.

Speaker 4 (01:04:12):
So can you please call your special your County special?
Sam Mitchell's balls?

Speaker 5 (01:04:23):
Do that?

Speaker 6 (01:04:25):
Do that?

Speaker 5 (01:04:28):
So?

Speaker 6 (01:04:28):
Yeah, you know, I got crazy stories worked out with
Kevin Gartinett. And that's how I met him. I was
doing I was a stand in and uh.

Speaker 5 (01:04:39):
So you were?

Speaker 4 (01:04:41):
You were a KG standing?

Speaker 5 (01:04:42):
Yeah? We were doing the Pillsbury commercial down to Target
Center and that's what.

Speaker 4 (01:04:48):
Was the standing. Were you his legs?

Speaker 5 (01:04:51):
Are we was arms? No, they might just use you.
They might use your physical size, you know, as.

Speaker 4 (01:04:58):
You like for dunking purpose seas and.

Speaker 6 (01:05:02):
Yeah, I mean it's acting, man, So yeah, so were
you KG? He showed up and then we we just
we became cool. You know, he showed up. I actually
have a picture of him on my website.

Speaker 4 (01:05:20):
I love him. Guy is I hate that Minnesota Timberwolves
owner was like not.

Speaker 5 (01:05:29):
Yeah, heed him? Yeah, because he was to tell him
selling that team now.

Speaker 4 (01:05:35):
Now now Alex Rodriguez and what's his name?

Speaker 5 (01:05:41):
They won in court, so they still didn't they won.

Speaker 4 (01:05:45):
Yeah, and and now Kevin Garnett's gonna be let's hang
that number, bro, Let's hang it up, Alex. I can't wait.

Speaker 5 (01:05:55):
Alex.

Speaker 4 (01:05:56):
Also, I don't give a ship like as a Mets fan,
I I love that Alex Rodriguez bought the Timberwolves. I
don't know, it's a it's a weird thing feeling for me,
and I love it.

Speaker 5 (01:06:12):
Mhm. You guys want to go to his house?

Speaker 4 (01:06:15):
He lives on Lake Minnetonka. Let's just go, like to
Lake Minnetonka.

Speaker 2 (01:06:20):
And like, don't I don't think like, I don't think
kJ is going to take us over to Kg's house.

Speaker 4 (01:06:24):
Come on, god, kJ, I need I need an inn. Like,
let's go like do a live episode KG.

Speaker 5 (01:06:34):
Kg a very private guy man. He just you know,
since he retired, he just he not even here that much.
He's probably out in La or so.

Speaker 3 (01:06:42):
Before actually, before we go into our next segment, kJ,
we always like to ask our guests, how would you
define a Karen?

Speaker 5 (01:06:49):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (01:06:49):
What so this on this podcast we battled the scourge
in this country that is known as Karen's. But we
always like to ask our guests how they would define one.
So kJ how would you define a Karen?

Speaker 4 (01:07:03):
You don't Karen's kjeople talking about.

Speaker 5 (01:07:08):
Of Karen to me is a lonely white woman who.

Speaker 6 (01:07:18):
Been in bad relationships and got kicked out of the
family and now she wants to be a detecutive, a detective.

Speaker 4 (01:07:27):
Okay, she absolutely love that.

Speaker 5 (01:07:31):
Man.

Speaker 4 (01:07:32):
It's a white lady who got kicked out of stuff
and now wants to be a detective. That's the first
of the Karen explanation that we've heard of a lady
that got kicked out of things that wants to be

(01:07:56):
a detective.

Speaker 5 (01:07:58):
Yeah, it's a new one. That's a new But I
think you had more to say. But I lost my thoughts.
Joke took it?

Speaker 4 (01:08:05):
Oh ship, did I take a dog?

Speaker 5 (01:08:07):
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 (01:08:10):
I'm gonna give you. I'm gonna mail your thought back
five days because it takes sixty five cents.

Speaker 5 (01:08:16):
And you're good. You're good, You're good, Joe. No, I'm
the Karen though.

Speaker 6 (01:08:20):
Like I have a T shirt that says and I
bought it from a good will from a thrift store, right,
and I thought it was such a good stage T shirt.

Speaker 5 (01:08:31):
It says not today Karen nice se.

Speaker 2 (01:08:35):
You're familiar well.

Speaker 4 (01:08:38):
Each and every podcast, each and.

Speaker 3 (01:08:41):
Every week, AJ we look at different Yelp reviews, Google reviews,
Facebook reviews, sometimes their tweets or handwritten notes, and the
segment we call the Karen of the week.

Speaker 4 (01:08:52):
This is Karen, I'm your boss.

Speaker 8 (01:08:54):
Oh my god, d Karen, Oh my god, Karen.

Speaker 5 (01:09:21):
This week.

Speaker 2 (01:09:23):
We've got a two star review from Mike Johnson. And
we're not talking about the.

Speaker 4 (01:09:30):
Of the House or big Johnson t shirts.

Speaker 3 (01:09:34):
No, it's not that Mike Johnson either. No, it's a
two star review. Ordered the blue Cheese Bacon burger. It
was horrible. Instead of using blue cheese crumbs, they poured
blue cheese dressing. Could not get enough napkins.

Speaker 5 (01:09:50):
The meat is good, but.

Speaker 3 (01:09:52):
You could not pick up the burger without the dressing
dripping everywhere. Not enjoyable. Should have sent it back two stars.

Speaker 4 (01:10:01):
What a drippy burger.

Speaker 5 (01:10:11):
You are unusual. What you don't like, what you don't
you want.

Speaker 4 (01:10:17):
Like a gross, delicious, grossburger. There's like too much.

Speaker 5 (01:10:23):
You don't want blue cheese dripping on your clothes, do
you know?

Speaker 4 (01:10:26):
But no, I mean napkin in my shirt like an
old fucking man.

Speaker 6 (01:10:35):
It's gonna soak through the napkins. Not less it's a
cloth napping then you need one in your lap. And
first of all, if if it's not real blue cheese,
I mean he should have just sent it back right
then and there. I mean, why you if it's not
real blue cheese, why take the juice of blue cheese

(01:11:00):
when you really order in the real cheese.

Speaker 3 (01:11:03):
Right Well, there is this new phenomenon in the Yelp
world and the Google reviews world kJ called clapbacks.

Speaker 5 (01:11:15):
And this is a.

Speaker 2 (01:11:17):
From the owner of Sees. These are my favorite star,
so this is.

Speaker 5 (01:11:24):
Them responding to them.

Speaker 2 (01:11:25):
I'm talking about the drippy blue cheese.

Speaker 4 (01:11:28):
Oh it's so drippy.

Speaker 3 (01:11:29):
It's first off, it's horsey mayo and blue cheese crumbles,
you know, like the menu says not blue cheese dressing.
But reading comprehension is key. I am sorry that you
did not enjoy what has been our most popular burger

(01:11:50):
for years running, but as a local guide, I am
sure that you are aware of that. However, if you
would have taken three seconds to read the menu and
or without the mayo, I bet it wouldn't be responding
to yet another petty, uninformed review that should have been
handled in house instead of bashing a small business online.

(01:12:12):
I'm sure what I expected from someone who's palette confuses
blue cheese dressing with mayo that has horse radish in it.

Speaker 4 (01:12:21):
Boom devil boom.

Speaker 5 (01:12:23):
Oh that's a good clap back.

Speaker 3 (01:12:26):
Okaj back to what we're talking about, Joe, like with
this guy, he like, I just like that. The owner
is like, no, like, this is blue cheese. You just
didn't know the difference between mayo and dressing.

Speaker 5 (01:12:42):
That.

Speaker 3 (01:12:43):
I do really like the fact that he did call
out the idea of like, we could have handled this
in house, but instead you had to go into a petty,
fucking online review. Like, and that's the thing that should
be going on is I've been in the industry for
my entire life, and like, people will bitch about something,
but they'll they'll tell you to your face, oh everything's great.

Speaker 4 (01:12:58):
Oh it's good.

Speaker 2 (01:12:59):
It's good.

Speaker 3 (01:12:59):
It's great because they just don't want to be they're
worried about confrontation, but instead the sneaky ship.

Speaker 5 (01:13:04):
I agree with you, Matt.

Speaker 6 (01:13:06):
You know, my wife is in the food industry as
a chef and a caterer and all that stuff. I
agree I think that, Yeah, it could have been handled
in the house. I mean, that's petty as hell, you know,
to go and try to you know, it's like when
somebody leave, you want to jab them in the back
with a knife. You know, like no, let's let's if
you're gonna stab me, stab me right here, you know,

(01:13:27):
don't wait to you know, don't sneak up on me
and stab me. You know what I mean, all this
ship right here right now. You want something else, we
can get you something else, but read the goddamn menu
before you start bitch exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:13:40):
And again only had to say is oh, this is
kind of like, this is really like there's a lot
of sauce on this and they could have fixed it
a minute.

Speaker 4 (01:13:49):
Could have fixed it by reading the menu before.

Speaker 3 (01:13:52):
This is true, but like you know what I mean,
like there are people occasionally they don't understand something because
of you know, they didn't have good teachers like kJ
in high school.

Speaker 5 (01:14:00):
Uh so.

Speaker 3 (01:14:02):
You know, they're they're they're a failure of our system.
So they like obviously like they they're gonna be there's
gonna be these people. And what you're saying is that
saying that I'm saying that these people should have been
knocked out by their teacher in high schools.

Speaker 5 (01:14:14):
We're trying to.

Speaker 4 (01:14:15):
Say people that haven't been knocked out by their teacher
order shitty at restaurants.

Speaker 2 (01:14:25):
I will go on record and say that. But for real, though,
this is a big issue.

Speaker 4 (01:14:32):
And also it is a huge issue.

Speaker 2 (01:14:35):
Well it's a big problem because going on and this
hurts small businesses.

Speaker 5 (01:14:40):
It does. He's exactly right, people shouldn't. I mean that
that's fixable right in and there.

Speaker 4 (01:14:47):
Stud don't hurt small business.

Speaker 6 (01:14:51):
WHOA yeah, I mean, it's just it's unfair with a
small business. I mean people, it's enough to have a
business in most swamp business fail. I mean because you know,
it's just if you're in the right location, you don't
have the right marketing advertisement, you don't have the right
things happening, and things are not aligned right.

Speaker 5 (01:15:12):
It's hard being in the food industry. I've seen it.
I've seen it, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (01:15:18):
And the margins are just it's shipped, like especially now
with what we're going into in twenty twenty five, to
see food and shit and all the all the pants,
all the to go boxes, the silverware, everything's about to
get fucking more expensive. In these idiots are going to
read the whole fucking menu and instead like try to
sink a business because they're idiots.

Speaker 6 (01:15:37):
Yeah, I mean, I don't even like to eat out
because you know, my wife's a chef, you know, and you're.

Speaker 4 (01:15:44):
Like, I'd like to eat in.

Speaker 2 (01:15:45):
But that's a good version of we have that at home, do.

Speaker 4 (01:15:48):
You know what I mean? Like that, Yeah, chef wife
is like, I don't eat out, my wife brings me
things in.

Speaker 5 (01:15:58):
No, I mean, I'm just I'm telling you, Like last
night we went to see Old Jay. I heard the
Old Jason music.

Speaker 4 (01:16:10):
That one moment.

Speaker 5 (01:16:13):
The R and B group.

Speaker 6 (01:16:15):
Rs Jays, and she wanted something to eat everything closest early,
so we stopped at Wingstock.

Speaker 5 (01:16:23):
I didn't want anything because I already know how how
how wing stop goes. Yeah how wings It ain't it ain't.
So anyway, she got the she got the chicken, but
then the fries were old. So you know, you can't
do that to a person in food industry.

Speaker 6 (01:16:39):
First thing gonna happen, She's gonna she went back in
and told him change the grease, and I want and
then he fried him too quick, and she got him home.
They was rawed got him home and I was like,
oh ship. But to my defense, I tried to say, babe,
let's just go home, like.

Speaker 4 (01:17:01):
Maybe I'm a I'm a I'm gonna go down on
you and everything's gonna be fine. Is you get greasy,
gross floppy fries and you got a hard a hard
day at home, baby, get the chicken.

Speaker 5 (01:17:18):
And but anyway, yeah, I it's hard. I mean everything's
going up.

Speaker 4 (01:17:24):
Man.

Speaker 5 (01:17:24):
Number forty seven is is uh Man, he's doing enough
on people's livelihood man.

Speaker 3 (01:17:31):
And sometimes, like stopping at wingstop, we just have to
ask ourselves, ge g why did it fail?

Speaker 4 (01:17:37):
Why everything was away? Everything was straight away down?

Speaker 8 (01:17:42):
I thought I was here to say.

Speaker 4 (01:17:45):
I thought I was here to stay.

Speaker 2 (01:17:46):
Now I have to figure out why you Why did it?
G win? Did it fail?

Speaker 3 (01:17:54):
OKAJ is the segment we do every week where we
look at different businesses, menu items we look at Sometimes
it's just as simple as commercials or or training videos
that didn't go well. But this is actually going to
be a throwback because it's been a very long time
since we haven't done a commercial.

Speaker 2 (01:18:11):
Oh no, this is very different.

Speaker 5 (01:18:13):
What are we doing?

Speaker 4 (01:18:15):
Is it tell me it's not you know, we're talking.

Speaker 5 (01:18:18):
About some small businesses.

Speaker 3 (01:18:19):
We're just talking about how small businesses are having our time,
especially in the restaurant's sphere, because they're trying to get
there's there's there's the image issue. There's the idea of
everything's going up in cost. So that that's a big deal.

Speaker 5 (01:18:31):
Right.

Speaker 3 (01:18:31):
So if you're if you were already going on a
thin margin, you want to keep the image to your
to the public to be a good image, right as
if you're a restaurant tour correct.

Speaker 5 (01:18:39):
Absolutely, yeah, so you could.

Speaker 3 (01:18:43):
And we also know that like right now, jobs are
becoming more scarce, even in the restaurant industry. Like people
they're trying to cut back crews and everything. But sometimes
you know, business might might want And on the other
side of this too, businesses always called it what do
they call each other, especially if you work in the
restaurant industry, it's not your you're not coworkers, your family right, Well,

(01:19:07):
sometimes in the business you lose a family member, and
we're going to see a business both lose a family
member and probably also lose their business and.

Speaker 4 (01:19:20):
Your family.

Speaker 2 (01:19:21):
Gee, why did it fail?

Speaker 4 (01:19:23):
Oh G what did it feel?

Speaker 3 (01:19:25):
Okay, So this is from Grand Junction Bar and Grill,
and I'm just going for you, gentlemen, do I need
to look it up. It is with a sad heart
that the team at Grand Junction Bar and Grill the
passing of our beloved line cook Frank. He was a
great team member who will be missed by many. And

(01:19:49):
if that is all they had posted.

Speaker 4 (01:19:52):
Would have been wonderful.

Speaker 3 (01:19:53):
This would have been a beautiful, wonderful fireworks. But this
just takes a huge turn in. It just just just
the worst fucking thing.

Speaker 2 (01:20:05):
But did fucking He was a great team member.

Speaker 3 (01:20:09):
Who he missed by many, not all looking for experienced
line cooks who can work in a fast paced environment,
which in hours.

Speaker 4 (01:20:20):
We haven't had to bury Frank. Still his spatula is
still warmarm.

Speaker 3 (01:20:30):
But if you feel you have the qualifications, please stop
in and see Chris to fill out and are you.

Speaker 4 (01:20:38):
A new Frank?

Speaker 5 (01:20:40):
Would you like to be they let him get out?

Speaker 4 (01:20:43):
The more I know he haven't even.

Speaker 3 (01:20:46):
Buried Frank yet, he's they're still he's still in the
kitchen where he feel like happening.

Speaker 4 (01:20:54):
On his Facebook post, it's like that is dirty.

Speaker 3 (01:21:00):
Like I said, it starts, is that even I thieves
were posted on the same day, but separate, separate posts.

Speaker 2 (01:21:10):
Separate, but you know, grandun like we lost.

Speaker 4 (01:21:14):
We lost Frank, so we're trying to hire a new
friend one stone.

Speaker 5 (01:21:19):
We can just do it in one post. I don't.

Speaker 2 (01:21:20):
I don't want to be on Facebook all day.

Speaker 4 (01:21:23):
Jeez, it's it could be like a whole it's like
a whole two posts. I don't know if I want
to do a whole two a multi post thing. I
think I'll just do like one big post. It'll it'll
be fine. We're only what is this place?

Speaker 5 (01:21:43):
Grand Junction?

Speaker 4 (01:21:45):
It's the Grand Junction, all right, Bar and Grill? See now,
I kJ Normally I do the R and D on
the show, the research and development on this, but today
I'm just I'm just sitting back. I'm kicking back and allowing.

Speaker 3 (01:22:04):
Okay, it's definitely one of those places that they paid
someone to come and clean up all this was just
one of them. Mom, uh bar rescue, We're okay to
at It's isn't Grand Junction, Colorado?

Speaker 5 (01:22:20):
Oh wow?

Speaker 4 (01:22:21):
Yeah, it was Grand Junction, Bar and Grill in Oh no, no, I.

Speaker 5 (01:22:26):
Take a junction? Where is it? I don't know if
this is the same one.

Speaker 2 (01:22:31):
Actually because it could be a couple Grand Junction Bar.

Speaker 4 (01:22:34):
Yeah, I feel like there's a bunch of these because
there's no.

Speaker 5 (01:22:39):
No, it is this one.

Speaker 3 (01:22:41):
This is the one because this was the website that
was listed Grand Junction Bar and Grill.

Speaker 5 (01:22:46):
Oh there are Grand Junction Bar and Grill.

Speaker 2 (01:22:47):
So it is.

Speaker 3 (01:22:48):
It is in West Des Moines, Iowa. This isn't Iowa,
Grand Junction, Colorado.

Speaker 4 (01:22:52):
Oh okay here we are, all right.

Speaker 3 (01:22:55):
But yeah, there their reviews. Yeah, they definitely have paid
someone to scrub their reviews.

Speaker 2 (01:23:00):
Because usually these people would be.

Speaker 5 (01:23:02):
Getting review bombed. Yeah they deserve I mean, it's.

Speaker 4 (01:23:07):
Grand Junction in Iowa. This is a town in Iowa.
This is one of the cities in Iowa that no
one knows about, you know what I mean, it's not
the one of the public Iowaan cities and watched and
such and such.

Speaker 5 (01:23:28):
Oh. They also took down their Facebook page.

Speaker 2 (01:23:32):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (01:23:34):
Wow, They're like, oh, we got one bad review. Fuck Frank,
We're done. Frank really fucked their ship up.

Speaker 5 (01:23:43):
Yeah, Frank. People got at him.

Speaker 2 (01:23:46):
People were from Frank. They were they were they were rolling.

Speaker 4 (01:23:48):
People were like yeah, people were like I actually liked
Frank more than I like the Iowa bar and rall.
This is no outside with Frank.

Speaker 3 (01:24:03):
No, it's it's gross though. It's yeah, they're they were
getting uh they know for a fact on the Facebook page.
Because I've seen the Facebook page before, I guess it
got taken down. They were getting like they were like
a four something star restaurant and now they're at like
one point eight, like two.

Speaker 2 (01:24:19):
So it doesn't surprise me. They took all their stuff down.

Speaker 4 (01:24:22):
No, they took their stuff down because everyone in that
town in Iowa was mad at of course the owner.
It's we're gonna send kJ to not not and maybe
knock you out, but it's.

Speaker 2 (01:24:39):
Like he's gonna make sure there's a slippers, just gonna.

Speaker 4 (01:24:42):
I love that. Please tell me you're still legend. At
that high school, there's like a statue, like like a
little statue of you, like doing like.

Speaker 6 (01:24:51):
A They actually changed the name of the high school.
It was Henry High School, but they changed it to
Campden High School.

Speaker 4 (01:24:58):
Yes, this k school down.

Speaker 5 (01:25:01):
The kids got together. They didn't like the racist name
of Patrick Henry, so they changed it to Camden High School.

Speaker 4 (01:25:08):
That's cool, Okay, first off, fuck all racist names. I'm
so glad that we're getting rid of them.

Speaker 2 (01:25:13):
Ship and oh they're bringing them back.

Speaker 4 (01:25:18):
Yeah, I know, it's like silly, they're bringing them back.

Speaker 5 (01:25:21):
And you've ever been to Saint Ugustine, Florida. Have you
ever been there? No? I did a gig there.

Speaker 6 (01:25:28):
They had street named South Plantation Boulevard, Nook Avenue, North
Oh Ship. Yeah, and in my mind said, ain't y'all
got no motherfucking Freedom Boulevard?

Speaker 4 (01:25:43):
Like I feel like I feel more comfortable than you
on those boulevards.

Speaker 5 (01:25:49):
You probably well, you know, like just walking around on
it's the oldest city of.

Speaker 4 (01:25:57):
Racist ass motherfucker boulevard like you.

Speaker 5 (01:26:01):
Know, well, definitely they haven't. They haven't changed the name
of the streets, but definitely I see you see why
it's the old city in Americas. It's got some of
the oldest goddamn names, names that shouldn't exist anymore.

Speaker 4 (01:26:16):
But you show up and like you ain't from around
these parts. Boyd damn it, I'm not doing this here.
I'm not an old folks. Though, you guys need to
change your names.

Speaker 3 (01:26:29):
This has been a good episode, but I think it's
time we eighty six the podcast. But before we go,
we do have one last segment kJ It's called human
Yell pfeus. This is where you kJ At the Comedian.
You get to review the podcast. You can either review
the podcast as a whole or join myself individually. You
can use a five star metric or as many stars
as you'd liked and uh whatever, whenever you want to go.

Speaker 6 (01:26:53):
Well, I'll give you guys five star. Especially I give
Joe six and a half because of the energy level.

Speaker 5 (01:27:00):
Was that? Mac?

Speaker 4 (01:27:03):
Now about that Mac? I got? I get extra stars.

Speaker 5 (01:27:08):
Joe, you get extra stars because you're a funny little fucker.

Speaker 4 (01:27:12):
All right? Edited that out?

Speaker 5 (01:27:14):
Oh my god, I love you guys.

Speaker 4 (01:27:17):
Man, she gets no power. Those little children from fire
and Lang big and no power.

Speaker 5 (01:27:24):
Tell nobody. I'm knocking, Tell nobody.

Speaker 4 (01:27:32):
Can I love them? Jesus out of here? This has
been an absolute delight.

Speaker 5 (01:27:36):
How do people follow you?

Speaker 6 (01:27:38):
Oh at k j y the Comedian on I G
I have a fan page on Facebook?

Speaker 4 (01:27:45):
What's your Facebook? Because I can't.

Speaker 6 (01:27:47):
I have a TikTok page too. Uh it's it's just
gonna be my first and last name K E L
E C H I. First name, last name K A
A B A I D. So it's my first last
I have two pages Facebook pagemink breaking the name and
then my kJ the comedian fan page, and then is
saying thing my website is the same thing, t WWKJ

(01:28:09):
Whythcomedia dot com.

Speaker 5 (01:28:13):
Very good, Joe, how do people follow you?

Speaker 4 (01:28:16):
Hit kJ up? He's not good at computers, but he
will get back to you eventually. He will. If you
see him in real life, You're like, I've been emailing
you for so long.

Speaker 5 (01:28:28):
kJ.

Speaker 4 (01:28:28):
He's like, Yo, give me a hug. You can just
look in the mirror and say my name three times
and then I show up with a joint and then
we party like That's what the fucker. That's how That's
how drugs and mirrors work. Right is. You can also

(01:28:51):
follow me on Instagram photographiz against the word photograph.

Speaker 6 (01:28:55):
I z I n G.

Speaker 4 (01:28:57):
I'm gonna be on a million shows.

Speaker 2 (01:29:00):
You can follow me.

Speaker 3 (01:29:01):
I'm Matt Douima on Facebook and Instagram. I am at
that Matt Douima, on Blue Sky and on TikTok as
for me. Just every Wednesday evening in the basement of
the Red Carpet Nightclub, I host the Keller Comedy Open.
Mike sell thirty two ons beer pitchers for only six
bucks doors open at age. Show starts around nine is
it's a great time. And then every Saturday evening I

(01:29:22):
produce the Beaver Island Comedy Series at Beaver Island.

Speaker 2 (01:29:25):
Brewing Company in Saint Cloud, Minnesota.

Speaker 3 (01:29:28):
We have ever changing lineups every week. Got some really
great ship coming up we're very excited for. Make sure
to follow us there as well. Follow the podcast at
Awful Service Podcast across all platforms.

Speaker 5 (01:29:40):
Email us your.

Speaker 3 (01:29:43):
Favorite ways that you could with fight off a student
at Awful Service Podcast at gmail dot com. kJ You've
been a delight. Thank you so much for doing the show.

Speaker 5 (01:29:55):
Thank you for having me.

Speaker 4 (01:29:56):
Matt kJ kJ will knock your fucking out and his mom.

Speaker 2 (01:30:03):
Yeah you got a good night.

Speaker 10 (01:30:08):
It's time to count the till, sweep the floors and
matha spills, say good night, dispose up the trash and
turn out the light.

Speaker 4 (01:30:21):
Tell me why I try and it's so damping as Eliza.
I'll take my tips.

Speaker 10 (01:30:29):
My services have earned me this. Maybe I will find
a way up for now A count.

Speaker 4 (01:30:39):
And my tip.

Speaker 5 (01:30:44):
And lock the door.

Speaker 1 (01:30:59):
This has been a tape Deck Media production. Thank you
for listening.

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Awful Service Number One Hundred and Seventy-three - KJ the Comedian

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Awful Service Number One Hundred and Seventy-three - KJ the Comedian