Awful Service Number One Hundred and Seventy-Six -Andrew Sleighter

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, I hit I hit out recording on the cloud,
and I don't like doing that, so I like doing
my computer where I can keep it all right. Here
we go, Welcome back. This is another episode of the

(00:32):
Awful Service podcast. This is the podcast that says, uh,
when when you asked to turn the air conditioning down,
we're just gonna we're gonna say that we're gonna do it,
but then we're gonna just not do it, but tell
you that we did it, and then you're gonna probably like, oh,
it's fine anyway. It's that kind of podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:48):
Yeah, and I'm gonna come over and tell you to
put out a fucking sweater.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
It's me.

Speaker 2 (00:53):
Here's a house sweater. It is a house sweater. We
got a house cardigan for your cold.

Speaker 1 (00:58):
Oh you try to say that like the jacket, like
the fancy restaurants that have the jackets.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
You just need old lady sweaters for these old ladies.

Speaker 3 (01:07):
And I'm so.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
Cold in here? Did you put me?

Speaker 3 (01:09):
I'm a fan?

Speaker 1 (01:11):
Yep. We do that on purpose. It's an what we do.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
I saw your blue veins poking out of your skin.

Speaker 3 (01:17):
And I was like this, she needs to go under
a fan.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
Yep. It's me the original, uh, the original frigid air
man Matt Douimo with.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
And a whole different contexts in the fifties.

Speaker 1 (01:32):
Yes, I would have been fathers for for eight different people.

Speaker 3 (01:36):
Yes, he is so frigid.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
And it's sends me Joe radiating positive energy cocozello.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
Which actually is about that's what seventy bt us.

Speaker 3 (01:48):
Yeah, I am the northern lights are the human northern lights.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
You should look at her.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
Yeah, dog like, come view me. I am high as fuck.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
There you go. And we could talk about the Northern
lights for our entire podcast that we might just but
you know what, we have someone who's actually in the
northern ring of the world right now and actually probably
if he went on the deck of the ship he's
working on, could see the Northern lights. We have Portland
comedian and general funny dude Andrew Slater on the podcast

(02:21):
Welcome Andrew, Hey, right.

Speaker 4 (02:24):
I have thank you for having me, and I have
seen the Northern Lights from a cruise ship in Alaska,
and the funniest thing about it is like you look
at it, you know how everything now supposed to just
present and look at things to realize and experience in
that way the Northern Lights are the one thing that like,
if you look at it through your iPhone, it is

(02:45):
way better. There's something about the like capturing or the
whatever happens in the video. It looks amazing on a
photo and it looks like, Okay, you should totally looking
at it through a scream.

Speaker 1 (03:00):
It's way better through a screen fake backdrop.

Speaker 3 (03:03):
Yeah, and I heard Old Faithful is the same way
amazing in TikTok videos. It's just like.

Speaker 5 (03:13):
Either in person Old Faithful.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
So and it's it's a it's America's butthole.

Speaker 3 (03:22):
It's just it's tooting out, it's it's just a Chinese
food and it is just spurting mm hmm. We can
talk about the most beautiful things about the.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
World, or the or just weird national Park.

Speaker 2 (03:40):
The amazing natural experiences that we get to experience.

Speaker 1 (03:44):
When you said, but when you said the butthole of America,
and I'm like that that's not in the South.

Speaker 3 (03:49):
It's not surprisingly it's it's the North.

Speaker 4 (03:53):
A lot of places that they claim to but whole
of America.

Speaker 3 (03:58):
Like fighting for it.

Speaker 1 (03:59):
Yeah, yeah, and we could talk about the buttholes of America.

Speaker 3 (04:04):
I mean, I I just read that I think Oklahoma
is uh, their their mandating that they teach their children
Trump's conspiracy, that the overturning of the election theory. And
it was just like, oh, you guys are trying to
do the butthole of America thing.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
No, no, no, you not know You're just Oklahoma.

Speaker 5 (04:27):
They're for it.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
It's that panhandling, you know. I tell you, well, we're not.

Speaker 2 (04:33):
This is the Service a political podcast? Yeah, well we
kind it.

Speaker 1 (04:39):
Sometimes we are and sometimes we're not. But right now,
this is the Awful service Podcast, Andrew. This is the
podcast where we talk about different customer service jobs and
the story is there within. The very first segment on
the podcast is one that we lovingly refer to as
the resume.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
So what's your rethme? Why should we hide?

Speaker 3 (04:59):
Had the job?

Speaker 1 (05:00):
Right?

Speaker 4 (05:00):
You up and buy you?

Speaker 2 (05:01):
Tell us all about yourself and your place.

Speaker 3 (05:03):
A business, talk about my job's pilty, shady politics?

Speaker 2 (05:09):
Show What's your resume.

Speaker 1 (05:15):
Again, Andrew? The resume section is just kind of where
you get to talk about some of the jobs. You
don't have to talk about all of them, but just
the ones where you have some good stories or some
fun interactions. Weird bosses, uh and and I like, and
with whatever job you'd like to start with.

Speaker 4 (05:29):
Yeah, So I uh lived in Hollywood, Los Angeles for
a long time, and the first gig I got down there,
real job was I worked at best Buy and I
knew nothing about uh technology, you know, I didn't know
how to sell cameras or phones. So I worked an inventory.
I worked in the back. Okay, and this is a

(05:50):
bit by the way, but then I have a story.
So the bit I would do is I would say, uh,
and it really was true. I was just I was
the only white guy in my department, you know, and
which is fine, but they were like weirdly nice to me,
you know, like like wait, like like very deferential and
like let me help you. And oh, Andrew, that's so cool.

(06:13):
And then I finally figured out. I was like, what's
going on here? And then I realized they all thought
we were on undercover Boss. They were just like, this
has gotta be a plant. There's no way this just
white dude is slinging video fifty videos up on the forklift.

Speaker 2 (06:30):
Did you have an odd wig, Andrew at the.

Speaker 5 (06:33):
Time, Yeah, and I would wear a fake mustache too.

Speaker 2 (06:35):
Yes, Okay, I was just that might have been.

Speaker 4 (06:38):
Yeah, have been part of the problem for them.

Speaker 1 (06:42):
I believe. I believe a fake mustache is called a
mouth merket. I believe is what they called.

Speaker 2 (06:47):
Is that the woke term perfake mustache?

Speaker 6 (06:50):
Now that's the one.

Speaker 4 (06:53):
But I so, you know, I had no It's like,
it's funny because I tell comics now, you know, because
every one rails like against the gig economy and how
you know it's exploitative or whatever. But I would have
killed for stuff like Uber back then, you know what
I mean, like just to drive Uber or Lyft, like
because if you your job at best Buy, it took
forever to get and then it's only eight bucks an hour,

(07:16):
and then if you ever got roadwork, I would just
have to quit.

Speaker 5 (07:19):
You can't.

Speaker 4 (07:19):
They're not going to give me three weeks off, you
know from best Buy. So but the thing, So what
happened was, you know, you get the classic best Buy polisher, right,
it's got your name on and everything. It's a big
day in your life when you work it best Buy it.
But so it was la and it was Halloween, and

(07:42):
we're broke. It's just me and my like five roommates
in a three bedroom apartment and nobody's got any money,
but we want to go out for Halloween. And my
buddy Jeff Die he was at the time dating this
playboy playmate. She was like, you know, so he's like
the only one of us who was like doing well.
Obviously in Los Angeles. The rest of us were like broken.

Speaker 2 (08:04):
You guys are dating pantasse girls.

Speaker 1 (08:06):
Yeah, we were there.

Speaker 5 (08:07):
Actually we were dating National geographic.

Speaker 2 (08:15):
But they were very long necked African women.

Speaker 3 (08:19):
Yeah, and you're like, I can't bar you that many necklaces.

Speaker 5 (08:26):
Yeah, just some time people do.

Speaker 4 (08:27):
But the so the so we we get invited to
this party and it's one of these things where it's
like she's doing an appearance at this bar on Halloween,
but there's gonna be all these like playmate playboy playmates
also doing appearance.

Speaker 5 (08:43):
We like, and that sounds so good.

Speaker 4 (08:45):
When you're like a two year old dude, but the
reality is it's just these like six women and then
like a thousand awful dudes desperate, you know.

Speaker 5 (08:54):
But whatever.

Speaker 4 (08:55):
So we get invited like, oh, yeah, we're gonna meet
some playmates or whatever, but we need a Halloween costume
and I'm like, I don't know, I have no money.
I can't go out and buy anything clever or a
mask or anything. So so my buddy Brian, Brian Newt
is also a comedian. He goes, hey, we should go

(09:15):
as like best Buy employees. You know, you have all
these and we'll dress them. He like, he put on
like nerdy glasses and then the like you were in
the geek squad or something, and I had the polo
shirts and then we do the pants and tuck them
in with the belt and like, oh, we're Best Buying.

Speaker 5 (09:31):
This is funny, you know.

Speaker 4 (09:33):
So we go as best Buy employees and we get
to this party and uh and you know, it's as
lame as I described it, but there we was.

Speaker 5 (09:42):
We got to sit.

Speaker 4 (09:42):
In like a special whatever area and you're talking to
these girls and I'm talking to this one girl and
at one point she were like going over costume.

Speaker 5 (09:50):
She's like, so wait a minute, do you just work
it best Buy?

Speaker 4 (09:54):
And I was like, no, no, it's like it's a costume.
You know, thought it would be funny. And she goes
but it says Andrew on your shirt, like what are
you a detective?

Speaker 5 (10:06):
You're supposed to.

Speaker 1 (10:06):
Be a you should have been like, actually, I'm the
owner of Best Spine. But I'm undercover possing.

Speaker 5 (10:13):
I hate to have it stitch.

Speaker 2 (10:15):
That's it's a really, it's a costume.

Speaker 3 (10:17):
I use a lot.

Speaker 2 (10:18):
It's And she was like, and one more thing, and
you're like, yeah, exactly, Sexy Colombo.

Speaker 5 (10:24):
Is that why you the playboy monk?

Speaker 3 (10:28):
Is that why you're dressed in a sexy.

Speaker 1 (10:32):
Does she also have a problem with ye contact, Yeah,
she was.

Speaker 4 (10:36):
She was the defective.

Speaker 2 (10:37):
She was going as sexy Adrian Monk.

Speaker 3 (10:39):
She was.

Speaker 2 (10:41):
It was very oh.

Speaker 3 (10:43):
My god, please because she has to touch everything.

Speaker 4 (10:47):
Sexy Adrian. Yeah, sexy Tony Shalub, that would be a good.

Speaker 1 (10:55):
Well, that's just Tony Shaloo.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
Are you doing a sexy Tony Shalub from taxi?

Speaker 3 (10:59):
Are you like, I mean wings, are you doing a
sexy totally? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (11:05):
What sexy Tony Shaloub?

Speaker 3 (11:06):
Are you going for their darling?

Speaker 4 (11:09):
There's a lot to choose from what era?

Speaker 3 (11:11):
I love this?

Speaker 5 (11:12):
What Tony Salub can we?

Speaker 3 (11:14):
I would love I would love if we uh pitch
some things to the Halloween store, like like it's they're
running out of sexy costumes. If we if we threw
sexy Colombo sexy totally Shalob, I.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
Like sexy best Buy employee.

Speaker 4 (11:32):
You know it's funny, is like, you know how the
when they do those like spirit Halloween costumes, they never
buy the rights to the actual things.

Speaker 5 (11:38):
Yeah, they couldn't even call it sexy Tony Shaloub.

Speaker 4 (11:41):
They'd have to go like sexy O C D afflicted detective, Like, oh,
I see what it's supposed to be.

Speaker 1 (11:50):
Yeah, oh yeah, that's that's percent. So it would be uh,
sexy electronics store worker.

Speaker 4 (11:56):
Right yeah, yeah, yeah, no.

Speaker 3 (11:58):
No, no, no, they could totally be like circuit City employee. Yeah,
nobody's gonna suck out on that one.

Speaker 4 (12:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (12:11):
So so you worked for best Buy in LA, so
you know that that's the best best Buy. I don't
know if people knew this.

Speaker 2 (12:16):
Hold on, we need to back up.

Speaker 3 (12:17):
So you didn't go home with the playmate?

Speaker 4 (12:20):
Uh No?

Speaker 3 (12:23):
I thought I might have been able to pull that
one out. And there was a cover boss and she's like,
I'll blow you in the bathroom. It's like, I don't.

Speaker 4 (12:30):
Think I don't think that was like what sealed my fate.
I don't think it was a matter. If I had
a better costume, she would have gone home with me.
I don't think there was any going home with me regardless.
It was just a humiliation on top of whatever other
humiliation was there. Also, if I would have brought her home,
I would have brought her to my disgusting apartment where
there was two people living in our living room and

(12:53):
a lot of that's always a tough sell, and a
lot of best buy work Memorbilia round and a whole
closet full of best buy Polos.

Speaker 1 (13:04):
Listen, I when I commit, I commit to the character.

Speaker 3 (13:08):
I do Halloween really hard. I even get like a
bunch of extra costume. Backup.

Speaker 1 (13:13):
Wait till you see my nineteen ninety eight Honda Civic.

Speaker 2 (13:16):
Yeah, I do Halloween real method.

Speaker 4 (13:18):
We're not far off. It was a ninety eight camera. Actually,
I even have a I even have a W four,
so I even't have this paycheck. I even have this
paycheck for two hundred and eighty seven dollars. That represents
two weeks of work. Dude, that's the most That is

(13:39):
the most depressive thing. Like it's bad enough in comedy
when you don't get paid, like you don't make it,
but like at least the paycheck is whole, and then
you you take taxes out later or whatever, or you
just cheat. But the the when you work for eight
dollars an hour or whatever and then they take taxes

(14:00):
out of it, it's just the biggest slat of the face.
Like you're looking at it and I know you might
be able to claim that money back at the end
of the year, but when you're.

Speaker 5 (14:07):
Just looking at the check and like, this is ridiculous.

Speaker 3 (14:09):
I just shouldn't have even come all of this time
for the it's But at the same time, Andrew, have
you ever gotten uh, we've all gotten stiffed comedically for
a check, right, but have you ever gotten stiffed in
a shitty job for a check?

Speaker 1 (14:25):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (14:26):
That feels even worse because you're like, at least I
had free Maonzarelli sticks.

Speaker 3 (14:31):
I had four drinks, Like, I only did a half hour.

Speaker 2 (14:34):
My buddy drove.

Speaker 3 (14:35):
I didn't even pay for gas, so I'm only out
what Like, this isn't that bad of a When you
work a shitty job and their check bounces, You're like,
oh my god, I I'm going back in and I'm
murdering everyone.

Speaker 2 (14:50):
I think I have to murder everyone. I think You're like,
that's my only recourse.

Speaker 4 (14:54):
See, I've never had a job for a small enough
like I had. I worked construction, but it was for
a small hour. But that guy was good. He just
always and I actually made more money doing that. That
was like my first job out of high school.

Speaker 5 (15:06):
But uh, I never.

Speaker 4 (15:09):
Really got stiffed. I mean because I always worked for
like Giant Corporate, you.

Speaker 1 (15:13):
Know, yeah, yeah, they can't do that.

Speaker 4 (15:16):
Or I worked for the census Census Boston.

Speaker 2 (15:22):
You mean like how many people are in your house?

Speaker 1 (15:25):
Yeah, like that kind of job. Ever, you were going
like door to door like doing the.

Speaker 4 (15:29):
Yeah, but no, I didn't have to talk to anybody.
So that's what people don't know. There's this there's this
part where they hire people this Now, this is a
great job. Every ten years, you can get this j
that's not exactly a career.

Speaker 2 (15:41):
Where are we at?

Speaker 3 (15:42):
Do you know? Are you keeping tabs on when the
next census is?

Speaker 1 (15:45):
Are you is this? Do they do it zeros?

Speaker 5 (15:51):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (15:51):
It's on the zeros?

Speaker 3 (15:52):
Oh okay, I don't like like if they started it
in nineteen like thirteen and so it's.

Speaker 1 (15:58):
Every nineteen seventeen, it's on the sevens, right.

Speaker 5 (16:03):
No, they so it's every ten it's the twenty twenty
so I did.

Speaker 3 (16:07):
Pay thirty census. It's going to be the next one.

Speaker 4 (16:10):
This was the twenty ten census, but it was also
a couple of years before it because they're like getting
ready for it. So my job wasn't even the talk
to anybody. I just walked around and I would look
at like you had this handheld kind of electronic device
and it would tell you where there were addresses of
homes and apartments, and all you had to do was

(16:31):
see if they were still there or not, or if
there were new addresses or apartments that had gone in right,
And so it was like all you had to do
is like look, they go, yeah I still there. Check
check check check check. And there was like no oversight,
you know. So you just walk around by yourself.

Speaker 3 (16:46):
You're literally playing some sort of census version of Pokemon Go.

Speaker 1 (16:51):
That's pretty much where it was.

Speaker 4 (16:54):
Yeah, this was before I think this pre dates Pokemon Go.
But yeah, this is epic.

Speaker 1 (17:00):
US government has a have to have a talk with Nintendo.

Speaker 3 (17:04):
Well, now I know what I'm doing every ten years.

Speaker 4 (17:06):
Yeah, you have to take a test. You have to
take a little test.

Speaker 2 (17:12):
What's the test?

Speaker 1 (17:13):
Is it?

Speaker 3 (17:13):
Pokemon Go?

Speaker 4 (17:14):
Now?

Speaker 2 (17:16):
Actually just Pokemon Go like, the test is how many
you can catch in the next half hour.

Speaker 4 (17:22):
Yeah, it's an easy test. And you know what you'll
see at that test a lot of other comedians. I
remember when I walked because I wanted to get the
same job in LA. When I moved to LA and
I and I saw some comics in the room.

Speaker 5 (17:34):
I was like, yeah, this makes sense.

Speaker 2 (17:36):
It's kind of an open mic.

Speaker 5 (17:38):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's.

Speaker 3 (17:41):
Like that sign up at an open mic where you're
like at the bar and it's a lot of regular
people that are just there to drink, and then it's
just the comedians that are there for the It's.

Speaker 5 (17:51):
You know what, it's like, it's a more pleasant open mic.
That's what.

Speaker 2 (17:56):
You don't have to watch them do time.

Speaker 1 (18:00):
A lot less.

Speaker 4 (18:01):
Highly recommend the Census for anybody. And it was like
twenty bucks an hours, and that was way back then.
I'm sure it's better now.

Speaker 3 (18:07):
Damn Holy hey, can I hear this sent This is
Andrew your first census.

Speaker 1 (18:12):
Yes, I love this. God knows how many episodes of
those seventy six episodes interviews.

Speaker 3 (18:21):
Even you didn't even take censuses. You were taking like
you were like double checking Google maps.

Speaker 5 (18:28):
Can I and can I yeah, can I be not
very accurately.

Speaker 4 (18:33):
There are a lot of times I see a big
building with like a million mail bot and I go, yeah,
it seems right, and it's like.

Speaker 2 (18:40):
Yeah, I think that's gone well.

Speaker 4 (18:43):
And I've read about the census since, and like everyone
all these mathematicians tell you, like, you would be better
off estimating, you'd get you'd get to a closer accurate number,
like estimating population just.

Speaker 1 (18:55):
Using the actual physical act of doing.

Speaker 4 (18:58):
Physically trying to count all the peace people. There's way
more error in that. And that's totally true because it's
people like me who don't give a shit.

Speaker 3 (19:05):
Yeah, I don't know, like thirty Yeah, I'm imagining.

Speaker 1 (19:12):
Like the test for this is kind of like you
know when you're when you're signing up for something online
and they go, I am not a robot. Prove that
you are not a robot. Which square has the house
in it?

Speaker 3 (19:22):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (19:22):
Did you just literally choose the pictures with the motorcycle?
And like that's like your congratulations.

Speaker 5 (19:30):
It's exactly what it is. It's it's it is very easy.

Speaker 1 (19:35):
Is this an apartment complex? Yes? Or no?

Speaker 4 (19:38):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (19:39):
Is this a house or is this a toy house? Oh,
this sounds delightful.

Speaker 3 (19:45):
And this sounds like it's gonna go by the way
of the petty, which.

Speaker 4 (19:50):
Is just just cann It's constitutional, so I think they
like it's in the constitution. They have to have a
census every ten years.

Speaker 3 (19:59):
But so why don't we everybody that's an American say, hey,
like all right, you know, it's just like.

Speaker 5 (20:09):
That's how you have it.

Speaker 3 (20:10):
We're doing like a big picture here.

Speaker 2 (20:15):
Don't we have a satellite that could do this?

Speaker 1 (20:18):
You know, this is just gonna be like everyone point.

Speaker 3 (20:20):
Their iPhone to the sky and turn their car flashlight on.

Speaker 1 (20:24):
It's even it's even worse than that show. You know,
this is just gonna be like comedy and everything else.
We're just gonna get replaced by AI and that too,
Like that's totally gonna be an AI job.

Speaker 5 (20:35):
It'll be AI said, like, uh.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
We hacked the ring cameras and he just figured it out.

Speaker 2 (20:40):
Like I don't know, I think it's gonna take longer
than that. Boys.

Speaker 3 (20:43):
But at the same time, have you guys seen the
video of the uh, the parrot calling into a customer
service and then the customer AI customer service realizes that
it's talking to a parrot, and then it's just like, uh,
do you want to and the parent loses its mind,
and then it's like do you want to talk about crackers?

Speaker 2 (21:04):
And then so it's like does AI they turn they
talk the AI to.

Speaker 3 (21:10):
Be able to talk to parents calling in to the phone.

Speaker 1 (21:14):
That's a regular thing that happens.

Speaker 2 (21:17):
That we're wasting that much energy computing and otherwise.

Speaker 4 (21:21):
Don't you feel like there's a disconnect between what they
show you AI can do and then how it works
practically in your life?

Speaker 1 (21:31):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (21:31):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 4 (21:32):
I mean I'm always seeing these articles you just showed me,
you just told me, and then like, oh my god,
it learned to do this or what look at these
jokes at road or all this stuff. And then and
then like I get stuck with an AI chatbot customer
service thing and it is most stupid.

Speaker 1 (21:48):
I can't understand anything.

Speaker 4 (21:50):
He's the ship in the world and it's just googling stuff.
I mean, it's like, why don't we get to use
the good AI?

Speaker 3 (21:58):
Is that just how It's like how many times do
I have to yell at Alexa?

Speaker 1 (22:03):
You don't got whites off, you don't get the good AI?
Because honestly, this is another episode of Undercover Boss, and
they just wanted to see what you would do with
that pad.

Speaker 3 (22:14):
Andrew, I think it's I think we're like ten years
away from awesome stuff. Like it's I've been I've been
saying this for years, like where like like the old
people have the little the thing with the tennis balls
at the on the bottom, and they got a fucking
walker around.

Speaker 1 (22:33):
Yeah, it's talk.

Speaker 3 (22:37):
We're gonna have.

Speaker 4 (22:39):
You're gonna get replaced by AI if you can't.

Speaker 3 (22:41):
Know we're gonna have. We're gonna have the government fucking
exoskeletons that they don't want anymore.

Speaker 2 (22:47):
It's gonna be awesome.

Speaker 3 (22:48):
We're gonna be throwing ninety mile an hour pitches to
our grandkids. Like you want to play ketch in the backyard,
it's grandpas throwing high heat.

Speaker 2 (22:56):
Fucking music.

Speaker 5 (22:57):
Lower.

Speaker 4 (22:58):
It's always a little slower than they like. It's like
the self driving cars. We're supposed to be here like
ten years ago, so.

Speaker 1 (23:05):
They're still really he'll be here.

Speaker 5 (23:07):
They will be here, it just takes them a little longer.
Like I think these CEOs.

Speaker 4 (23:11):
Got a little cocky and they're all I remember hearing
interviews ten years ago. They like a guy would have
a twelve year old kid and like, yeah, they'll never
learn how to drive because the self driving cars, they'll
never have to learn how to drive, Like I hope
their kid learned how to drive.

Speaker 2 (23:23):
Well, to be fairy, and I hope your kid learned
how to drive and hit you.

Speaker 1 (23:27):
No, no, no car because.

Speaker 2 (23:29):
He didn't learn how to drive. He thought he didn't
need to learn how to drive.

Speaker 1 (23:33):
No, that CEO was one hundred percent correct. His child
will never have to learn how to drive, yeah, because.

Speaker 2 (23:40):
He's getting driven around.

Speaker 1 (23:41):
But I wasn't talking about.

Speaker 4 (23:44):
Robots, no, he was just like he is so well,
Like he'll only have to learn how to board private
private jets.

Speaker 3 (23:51):
It is.

Speaker 1 (23:54):
So so let's talk about another job. We're like, the
Sensus seemed fun, but like, what's up? What else you've
done well?

Speaker 4 (24:01):
Construction was the other big one for me off and
on from college on, which I you know, that's that's
a good job for like a window into older guys
who you don't want to be, like.

Speaker 1 (24:19):
A ghost a Christmas future job.

Speaker 4 (24:21):
Yes, it's a good ghost of Christmas future job because
you just see the toll it takes on your body.

Speaker 5 (24:25):
And then like what you resort to, and it's just
like it's also very.

Speaker 4 (24:33):
It's like terrifying sometimes because like I don't know, you
guys like have how you have a house? Right, Matt?

Speaker 2 (24:41):
Yeah, I worked construction. I know what you're talking about.

Speaker 5 (24:43):
You know what I'm talking about. Okay. So it's like
you can be in a spot where you like have
no fucking clue what to do next. Like you're looking
at this mess you've created and very expensive uh wood
and supplies and things that you've now back yourself in
a corner, and there's like a lady because these are

(25:04):
like small job sites that I was working on, So
it'll be like some lady just looking at you working
and she's like you can't show weakness, so you have
to just keep forging ahead, like as if.

Speaker 2 (25:15):
This is the way I wanted it to.

Speaker 1 (25:17):
She's expecting you to know what what you're what you're doing,
is what you're saying.

Speaker 5 (25:21):
Yeah, yeah, but I'm just.

Speaker 1 (25:25):
Or she was waiting for a Dike Cooke break.

Speaker 2 (25:28):
Yeah I know.

Speaker 5 (25:29):
I Yah, you should.

Speaker 1 (25:31):
Have just ripped your shirt off and drank it down, Andrew.
I think that would have just solved all your problems.

Speaker 5 (25:37):
Yeah, I never quite had the body of the.

Speaker 1 (25:41):
That's the thing about construction workers, like they always like
they're they were like in media, they're always like these
ripped muscular guys. Most construction workers look like me.

Speaker 4 (25:50):
Yes, it doesn't matter how many calories you're burning on
the job site. You find a way to replace and
then some uh. And that was the problem with my
job was that we weren't like a drywall company, and
we weren't like plumbered. It was a small contractor, so
every week I was doing something different, so I never
got good at any.

Speaker 3 (26:13):
Were trying to not fuck the dig up. I'm hoping
that the lady wasn't watching you.

Speaker 4 (26:19):
Like, like imagine even now, I would be better at
it now because it's like YouTube, you know. But like, uh,
the guy would got the boss would like that he
had multiple jobs going, so he would have me on
site and go, okay, we're going to frame up this garage,
and then he'd jo this is how you do it,
and then he would that's twenty minutes, and then he
leave and then leave.

Speaker 5 (26:40):
I'm like, fuck, okay, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (26:42):
I go back to step one of that video tutorial.
No you can't, because he just drove away. In the van.

Speaker 4 (26:50):
YouTube would have saved my life if on construction job
I wish I had.

Speaker 3 (26:55):
But like even if he Andrew took fucking four hour
hours and just made videos of how to do each
job and then left you with the video tape that was, hello,
I'm your fucking boss, and this is how you dry
wall a fucking wall. Okay, like it's it's step one.

Speaker 4 (27:17):
Literally up. He literally uploads it to YouTube for me.
It's like, and leave a comment too, so we get some.

Speaker 1 (27:25):
Like and like subscribe and share? Will you?

Speaker 5 (27:28):
Why haven't you subscribed to my channel?

Speaker 3 (27:30):
Dude?

Speaker 1 (27:32):
When you said videotape, I immediately just thought of like
back from because we're all men of a certain age.
They're just pulling the media cart in from like a
they still have like a twenty Like it's only a
twenty inch television, but it looks huge.

Speaker 3 (27:45):
All the leaves you with all.

Speaker 2 (27:46):
The tools vhs and one of those little TV vhs trombos.

Speaker 4 (27:54):
I'm just watching my episodes of this Old House while
I'm trying to the lady is like everything Okay, I'm
trying to watch.

Speaker 2 (28:01):
Damn, I missed what Norm said. Now I got to
rewind it. Get me a diet coke, but literally literally.

Speaker 4 (28:08):
I so during the pandemic, you know in comedy, this
was early shutdowns, and all my gigs got canceled. My
wife was pregnant and I didn't know they hadn't figured
out the loans and the unemployment all that stuff. So
I got a job landscaping, and I was working for
cash for this weird old guy named Joe. You know,

(28:32):
not you Joe, as we are.

Speaker 7 (28:34):
There's a lot of us, some of us are awesome,
and and he goes, so, we're gonna lay one of
the first jobs.

Speaker 5 (28:40):
We're gonna put in sod, you know, lay sad for somebody.

Speaker 7 (28:46):
And I show up during COVID during COVID, Yeah, you
just lay.

Speaker 4 (28:54):
Outside. I do think I got COVID from that job,
but I it was from the sod.

Speaker 1 (29:01):
It was from the grass.

Speaker 4 (29:02):
From it was the was some reason they imported it
from Wuhan, Chinese.

Speaker 1 (29:08):
They wanted Chinese grass.

Speaker 4 (29:10):
I don't understand they wanted Chinese grass.

Speaker 3 (29:12):
I'm just I'm just saying, the whole world is shut down,
and this this these people are laying sod.

Speaker 2 (29:18):
Yeah, this time to.

Speaker 3 (29:21):
Grow their grass when the world is shut down, like
like nurture my lawn.

Speaker 2 (29:27):
No no, no, no, no, I want.

Speaker 3 (29:28):
To cheat, just fucking sot it up.

Speaker 5 (29:31):
Well that's a good point because.

Speaker 2 (29:32):
Maybe it was ordered prior. It was just like.

Speaker 4 (29:36):
Booming wedding landscaping and during COVID everybody wanted to be
working on the yard. It was a it was a
big time for landscaping. So I show up and this
is like probably the second job I did. For the
most of it was just mowing lawn, so it's very easy.
But I had to bring my own like equipment. That's
how shoddy this operation was.

Speaker 8 (29:56):
In my Prius when I asked that, I what car
are you driving?

Speaker 4 (30:01):
So magic a landscaping crew and a fucking guy shows
up in his Prius, some white dude in the Creas're
like and this is not what I was buying.

Speaker 1 (30:11):
The hatchback style and like the lawnmowers hanging out the
end of it with bungee cords just.

Speaker 2 (30:16):
Totally Oh really that's what it was.

Speaker 3 (30:18):
I thought you had to fold down the arm of
the lawnmower, so I did.

Speaker 4 (30:23):
I had the hatchback so I could get the seats,
the back seats down and this is before my daughter
was born, so I could get the there's no car
seat back there, so I could get the back seats,
I could get a lawnmower in there.

Speaker 3 (30:35):
But still showing up a prius, tell me you got
out in the gloves and the big sun hat already on?
Is you were already driving British lady is.

Speaker 1 (30:47):
He's like, when you say sun hat, I think of
the big lady hats.

Speaker 7 (30:53):
That's how I already as a woman who winning orchids
sun hat.

Speaker 5 (31:00):
That wasn't the kind of landscaping I was doing.

Speaker 1 (31:02):
It was like, is this what you're picturing, Joe?

Speaker 2 (31:06):
I have I have? I have multiple sunheats around here.

Speaker 4 (31:11):
More of the episode I was not. That was not
We were not doing high end gardening. There was a
lot of picking up dog shit before I mowed lawn
after the jobs while you were doing. But we were
putting in this sud And so I showed up and
this is like my second day and there's three of us.

(31:32):
There's two two laborers and Joe and he got and
he looks at me and he goes, have you ever
laid sod before? And I just lie, I have not,
But I I lied. I was like, oh yeah, it's
been a while. But I yeah, I did it. And
then he goes, good, you'll be our expert. And then
we all sat around, and we all sat around and

(31:53):
watched a YouTube video.

Speaker 1 (31:57):
Go back to the pres here real quick, just having
a fucking meltdown of what the.

Speaker 3 (32:03):
Actually the last time I laid sod. This is the
video that I watched, and you just pull up a
random one. You're like, this is good.

Speaker 4 (32:09):
So we all watched the YouTube video and guess what,
it's exactly what you think.

Speaker 5 (32:12):
It's very easy.

Speaker 3 (32:17):
Not it's not easy because there were people in the
house that I rented prior that laid sod for the
landlord that I had prior, and they didn't do any
sort of leveling of the pre ground. They just ripped
up the old ground and then rolled them out. And
so now when it's settled, it's it's this. It's a

(32:38):
fucking divots and it's.

Speaker 4 (32:40):
Most ridiculous front lawn. Yeah, and you got to put
some sand is good. But the the big key to
laying side is you don't want your lines to line up.
So when you roll one out, you got to start
the other one half way down so that you don't
have so it doesn't stitch.

Speaker 2 (32:57):
No, the well on in my own place.

Speaker 3 (33:01):
Looks like it had a c section.

Speaker 2 (33:06):
Line.

Speaker 1 (33:07):
It looks like it looks like it was a level
from one of the Sonic the Hedgehog games.

Speaker 2 (33:12):
You know what they didn't do.

Speaker 3 (33:13):
They didn't do the most important part, Andrew, watch the
YouTube tutorial exactly.

Speaker 1 (33:20):
I do the same thing as a part time. Like. Honestly,
there has been a couple of times where I don't know, Like,
someone will order a drink I've never fucking heard of,
and I'm like, oh, yeah, I know, I gotta Oh,
I gotta go use the restroom real quick, and I'm like,
what the fuck is a liquid cocaine?

Speaker 3 (33:36):
Now? Andrew, I have to ask you a construction question.
Uh did you tell them were you a comedian at
the time?

Speaker 5 (33:44):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (33:45):
Did you tell them you were a comedian? Uh?

Speaker 5 (33:48):
Not at first, but it came out.

Speaker 2 (33:50):
It came out eventually.

Speaker 3 (33:52):
I didn't one of them see you at a show.
They never went to see me, just accidentally once showed
up with the it. No, it wasn't the guy. Did
you get out?

Speaker 4 (34:03):
The guy who had hired me was like a family friend,
so he knew from my parents. But I didn't tell
anybody I was a comedian for like two years almost.

Speaker 3 (34:13):
And it came out.

Speaker 4 (34:14):
And then when he came I was a guy I
went to high school with just happened to go to
an open mic and then he told everybody, Oh shit,
I would I would tell my parents, you know, I'm
going to the comedy class.

Speaker 5 (34:26):
They just thought I liked comedy.

Speaker 4 (34:29):
Like comedy.

Speaker 1 (34:30):
He saw me one of the guys.

Speaker 2 (34:33):
He goes down, he sees all the shows. I think
he's just like a really big fan of Kes.

Speaker 5 (34:38):
Was blowing all his money on these comedy shows.

Speaker 1 (34:41):
You know, I guess it could have been it could
have been that or trains.

Speaker 3 (34:44):
Well, it's when they found out you're a comedian. Did
you get all of the most unusable racist and sexist jokes?

Speaker 2 (34:53):
And then they go and you could use that one
of your joke bits.

Speaker 4 (34:57):
It really wasn't like that because it was like it
was so much solitary. Like I'm saying, it's a really
small outfit. So it was like, and you're in California, right, No,
this was in Seattle.

Speaker 2 (35:08):
Oh okay, I.

Speaker 3 (35:09):
Was gonna say, who's in California. I was like, oh,
that's everybody else was actors.

Speaker 4 (35:14):
Right right, right, right, right right.

Speaker 2 (35:16):
Like b actors putting up a house.

Speaker 5 (35:20):
Yeah, exactly, and you get a bat job.

Speaker 1 (35:25):
No the no.

Speaker 4 (35:27):
This was in Seattle, so it was like there was
this one guy I worked with who's like the opposite of.

Speaker 2 (35:31):
It got bigger.

Speaker 4 (35:35):
How do you talk about his hats?

Speaker 1 (35:38):
Don't just have a ship ton of hats?

Speaker 3 (35:40):
Just it's right after the Kentucky Derby. So it's this
is he's got all of his hats out.

Speaker 2 (35:46):
It's where's your mint, julib It's.

Speaker 3 (35:51):
I like that. I like that your ai uh Northern
lights background sometimes sucks up the hat and it's just
this weir that.

Speaker 5 (36:01):
Look like a giant baby.

Speaker 2 (36:03):
It's just, yeah, you have kind of big baby.

Speaker 1 (36:06):
Well as you can see, I also have a whole wall.

Speaker 3 (36:12):
Yes, oh yeah, a man a man of many hats.

Speaker 1 (36:17):
You know, many hats I do, although these hats are
my wife's.

Speaker 3 (36:22):
Andrew, can I also ask you an old old job question.
You said about Uber and Uber is a great job
for comedians. Yes you think that comedians being Uber drivers? Now,
because I thought of this and I'm like, I don't
know this would work. I bet you, Oh, this would
be a great way to scam Uber. So you're an
Uber driver, right, and you book a gig as a comedian,

(36:44):
and then you buy a burner phone and then put
the Uber on the burner phone, and then book a
ride to the gig that you're.

Speaker 2 (36:56):
And then you drive to the gig.

Speaker 3 (36:58):
That person burns you by not fucking because there was
no it's not a real thing anyway like it's and
then now you like, well, you like go.

Speaker 2 (37:06):
Pick them up at the location and it's.

Speaker 4 (37:09):
Like a it sounds like one of those scams.

Speaker 3 (37:11):
There's gotta be a scam here.

Speaker 4 (37:12):
Well, it's not worth like it sounds like way harder
than they like, you would just make more money actually
doing something.

Speaker 1 (37:19):
You'd spend you'd spend so much money on those burner
phones because as soon as you do that once, they're
gonna be like, well, we're never gonna allow this. You
could do that, that would work once.

Speaker 2 (37:27):
John once a gig, Now I got a new burner phone.

Speaker 1 (37:31):
Is that you rid?

Speaker 4 (37:33):
Me and my buddy brother Johnson were working out this
bit that he has and the idea was like, if
you are a driver's ed instructor but then also driving
Uber at the same time, so you're making these kids
pick up rides, Like why are we always going to
the airport.

Speaker 2 (37:49):
This is how our teacher how to drive good exactly.

Speaker 5 (37:52):
They're running as and these kids are driving.

Speaker 1 (37:55):
That's not a bad idea, though, the airport, because like
picking people, that's a heck that they need to learn
how to drive in a area airports. Actually, I know
that's also probably a really bad idea, but part of
me thinks that would be a perfect place to learn
to drive. Yeah, that's what that's I'm just saying more
airports need driving.

Speaker 2 (38:13):
Schools, and I'm all about enslaving children. This is a
wonderful a lot of boxes.

Speaker 4 (38:22):
I did drive, speaking of job, I did drive lyft briefly.

Speaker 8 (38:26):
In La Okay, briefness, oh like six weeks okay, But
why why the briefness was there?

Speaker 5 (38:35):
I didn't need I needed it when I needed it.

Speaker 4 (38:38):
That's what I'm saying. That's why I love it, because
that's what comedians need. You know again, I understand why
people hate the gig economy, but for comedians, you just
need this like these little hits, these little now like
people buy and sell ship from Goodwill and then can
go online and sell it for But that that kind
of stuff wasn't really a thing. But it's like perfect

(39:01):
for comics who are like just need something to get through,
Like when you got a hole in your calendar, you know,
get the job at best Buy requires.

Speaker 2 (39:12):
So many hoops.

Speaker 5 (39:14):
You know, there's like.

Speaker 3 (39:15):
Three weeks before you start getting your first page exactly,
Like you're not even on.

Speaker 2 (39:20):
The schedule for a month, like you're like a got it.

Speaker 3 (39:23):
And then then you can't even take the day off,
the one day off that you needed because you had
that gig on the calendar, Like, yeah, I'm sorry, that's
it's Memorial Day weekend.

Speaker 1 (39:32):
You're gonna here.

Speaker 4 (39:35):
And I think there's and I think there's something like
in your soul when you're a comic where you're just
not into I love that Matt's putting on a new hat.

Speaker 1 (39:43):
A new hat everything. I'm going to go through a
lot of hats. I decided thing I don't I don't
usually do this, but just and.

Speaker 3 (39:49):
It's like we're a video podcast. It's like we need
to describe the hats that you're wearing. Now he's gone
through two sun hats, uh like one our two noosies
and now up to a car hard beating.

Speaker 5 (40:01):
So what's your favorite? We should b had five.

Speaker 1 (40:04):
Yeah, that's uh, it would actually be for the last.

Speaker 3 (40:09):
The last hat that we see.

Speaker 1 (40:14):
What's Matt's hat today?

Speaker 5 (40:16):
Yeah, new segment.

Speaker 1 (40:18):
Yeah right. We come up with new stuff all the time,
which is great for an audio medium. So, Andrew was it.
It's fun to ask what was your first job?

Speaker 4 (40:31):
Well, the construction was my first job. But my first
like real job out of college was radio. And I
worked at a news radio station writing copy. I wasn't
on air. I was never on air, and I worked
this into this shift. I would work two am to
ten am.

Speaker 3 (40:50):
Yes, so what what was the what was the station
when seven Cairo AM news radio US radio?

Speaker 2 (41:00):
Okay, all right, all right, and it was AM.

Speaker 4 (41:03):
I would be there at two in the morning, and
I'd be by myself, again, by myself, a lot of solitary.

Speaker 1 (41:08):
Yeah, this is sad. For the weekend.

Speaker 4 (41:12):
On the weekend, I'd literally be by myself until like
I don't know, the anchor would roll in at like
five forty five. He would go on and he wouldn't
get there to like five. He's supposed to be just drunk, Yeah, drunk.
I had this view. It was this beautiful office and
I had a view of the space you know. And
I always had this fantasy because I wasn't on air,

(41:32):
you know, and I was there by myself, like at
three in the morning, and I have this fantasy where
I would be looking at the space needle, I go,
what if it just fell down right now? I would
have to go on. I would have to go on.
I'd have to go on the radio. I'm breaking news
the space you know this.

Speaker 1 (41:46):
Spell that just between you and the public. It's just
you're the only link there, right, the only it.

Speaker 3 (41:53):
Is the only way that any you're going to break
any news, is it?

Speaker 2 (41:56):
It happened outside the window.

Speaker 5 (41:58):
I have to was the need That's how good of
a journalist I was.

Speaker 4 (42:02):
Anything that happened within the window I'm looking at I'm.

Speaker 1 (42:05):
On it between certain hours.

Speaker 5 (42:07):
That's not really my purview.

Speaker 1 (42:09):
Right, it was horrible.

Speaker 3 (42:13):
I bet you there was a news station that had
a great view of the Twin Towers and they literally
got to do what you did. What you wanted to
do every day.

Speaker 9 (42:23):
Is like, we really regret thinking about wanting to do
this every day, but now we have to report the
all night we're gonna break was some sort of nine
to eleven scenario.

Speaker 3 (42:36):
We are looking at it right now.

Speaker 1 (42:39):
And I'm working at my new radio station. No, it's
like it's nineteen ninety four and I'm working at my
new radio station in Oklahoma City.

Speaker 2 (42:47):
Yes, exactly right.

Speaker 5 (42:50):
He's the uh, what's the guy's name from CBS who
just happened to be there when Kennedy got shot?

Speaker 1 (42:57):
Rather the president has been shot and Daily Plaza.

Speaker 5 (43:05):
But yeah, you're so right.

Speaker 4 (43:06):
There had to have been a guy who is exactly
like me on nine to eleven looking out the window, going, God,
I wish something would happen, and then.

Speaker 3 (43:12):
The only news I'm ever gonna get to break is
it some sort of shit goes down to these fucking
towers that I've been staring at for the last twenty two.

Speaker 4 (43:22):
Years, or or he worked his whole life thirty years,
and then he just happens to go to the bathroom.
He's been waiting for something to happen, and he misses it.

Speaker 3 (43:33):
It's like, uh, it's his bored guy that he fucking hates.

Speaker 10 (43:38):
Yeah, a new kid, the new intern is the one
I have a breaking doing the nine eleven and he's
just sitting in the like the soundproof like a like
manager booth, like you.

Speaker 1 (43:53):
I'm like, just shit, I'm just imagining you're writing copy
and all of a sudden, it's all work and no
play makes andy adult boy, because you know it's in
the middle of the night by yourself.

Speaker 4 (44:05):
Dude. It was awful. And I would just run these
really long because the way it would work, especially on
the weekends, it would be these. I would run the
longest packages I could get from like CBS Network, so
we were a CBS affiliate, so like the longest Charles,
just the whatever, the longest one.

Speaker 2 (44:25):
Is just to show look at what they are.

Speaker 3 (44:26):
You're just like, oh, that's thirty two minutes.

Speaker 4 (44:30):
The best was Charles Groden would do these essays, like
these commentaries that we had the rights to, and they
would always be like four and a half just in
for radio, just insanely long, and I would put them
right in the middle of the rundown and no one cared,
no one. But finally somebody caught it one time, like,
why are we running these long.

Speaker 2 (44:56):
You got the Groden block?

Speaker 1 (45:01):
It's come on, yeah, he's a poet laureate.

Speaker 3 (45:08):
Somebody like called in and was like, I'm sorry, I
listen every morning. I've listened every morning for the last
thirty years, and I don't know what the fuck's going
on with the Groden hours.

Speaker 2 (45:20):
The hours it's grown with Groden.

Speaker 4 (45:23):
Grown in with grow, grow Groden. I like to think
I put a little money in that guy's pocket that.

Speaker 1 (45:30):
It's you and the Beethoven residuals are the only thing
that I.

Speaker 5 (45:33):
Was keeping the Growden estate flowing.

Speaker 3 (45:36):
I had no idea he was doing, like, yeah, I
had no idea he had like a CBS.

Speaker 4 (45:44):
Yeah, it's from that CBS Sunday Morning, Like you know,
I think Jim Gaffigan does those now where he does
essay things that they run on TV. David's four hours,
not four hours.

Speaker 1 (45:58):
Four minutes before minutes for radio. That's an eternity, wasn't
I wasn't.

Speaker 5 (46:02):
Running four hour Charles Brothers.

Speaker 2 (46:04):
Okay, I was gonna say, holy shit, it's.

Speaker 1 (46:07):
Like four minutes of the longest.

Speaker 2 (46:08):
My job here is done.

Speaker 3 (46:10):
You just put on.

Speaker 2 (46:14):
I'm gonna take a nap.

Speaker 4 (46:16):
And what I really did as I would build the
rundown in like twenty minutes half Aaskett as much as
I could fill it with Charles grow essays, and then
I would watch this is the early days of YouTube.
I would watch someone uploaded the entire Larry Sanders catalog
or the seasons. Awesome, that's the whole Larry Sanders, Larry

(46:41):
Sanders show, Larry Sanders show, on that on that job.

Speaker 3 (46:44):
That's epic. It would have been even funnier if you
just took that time to watch YouTube tutorials about like
construction construction getting there, like, oh, that's how you dry
all well.

Speaker 1 (46:58):
Actually did whole Bob Vila calendar.

Speaker 4 (47:02):
I'll be working in construction again. I just know it.

Speaker 1 (47:05):
That's that's that's the dream.

Speaker 4 (47:07):
No, it was the word of common because I was
a comic when I was doing that job, and so
there's no good way to do it. Like it's like
I would I would stay up all night. I would
try to like get other comics to hang out at
subway there was a twenty four hour subway or Denny's
or whatever, and stay up to like one five before
I had to go to work.

Speaker 5 (47:26):
But then you're your fucking basket case.

Speaker 4 (47:29):
You know, Yes, there there was never a good I
never got good.

Speaker 2 (47:34):
It's not a.

Speaker 3 (47:35):
Good two jobs to have together symbiotically because it's.

Speaker 4 (47:40):
And then you're trying to sleep on a Saturday or
Sunday at ten thirty am and the bright sun is
shit coming, and then like people are like mowing their
lawns and walking their dogs and you're just.

Speaker 2 (47:52):
Like, everybody, shut up.

Speaker 5 (47:53):
It's ten thirty in the morning.

Speaker 2 (47:55):
You know, it's like people are trying to sleep.

Speaker 4 (47:57):
Yeah, Oh it's a nightmare.

Speaker 2 (47:59):
You guys stay at midnight. It's just no, it kills you.

Speaker 5 (48:03):
It can't.

Speaker 4 (48:04):
And then that fluorescent light and everything. I think it honestly,
it takes years off your life. So that's what really
inspired me. That job is what pushed me to try
comedy full time, because they were going to give me
a full time job and it was actually gonna be
the good hours. It's gonna be ten to six. And
they came I remember, they like offered it to me,

(48:25):
and I panicked. And so that's when I moved to Boston.
I had no good reason to move to Boston except
I just needed a reason why I couldn't take this job.

Speaker 2 (48:37):
You are you moved out? You moved across the country
to avoid commitment.

Speaker 4 (48:42):
Yeah, that's exactly right. I drove three thousand miles. Every
inch of I ninety I drove off.

Speaker 2 (48:50):
Look at how much.

Speaker 3 (48:51):
You're grown look at how much you've grown Andrew, You're
married now, I a kid. Like It's imagine if like
she would have proposed to you when you just moved
to Alaska.

Speaker 5 (49:02):
Yeah, I am.

Speaker 4 (49:03):
I am on the edge, like I'm on a cruise.

Speaker 2 (49:04):
I have to go on a cruise. I'm cruising.

Speaker 5 (49:06):
Yeah, I mean that's where I am right now in Alaska.

Speaker 4 (49:10):
But but no, I got a kid, I got a house,
I'm married. So I embraced commit Now I'm committed to comedy.
I will say that there's no going back. I gotta
make this work because I'm not.

Speaker 1 (49:20):
I would say that. You know, that was not the
sequel to Runaway Bride. Was runaway comic? Yeah, honestly though
it was. It's you know, it didn't get as good
as reviews. It was straight to VHS. Y. I used
to watch it on my little player. That was the
VHS and the TV while I was on a construction site.

Speaker 4 (49:38):
No, it's there you go.

Speaker 1 (49:41):
So the other night, okay?

Speaker 5 (49:44):
That or in a comedy condo.

Speaker 3 (49:46):
Oh my god, there was always one in the comedy condo.

Speaker 1 (49:52):
I'm still nightmares. Good.

Speaker 4 (49:55):
The condos were fun, dude, I no, no, that's not romanticized.

Speaker 5 (50:01):
Comedy con and don't really because.

Speaker 2 (50:03):
They still exist.

Speaker 4 (50:04):
Some clubs still think that's a good idea over hotels,
and I always like plead with them, like you can
keep your hotel points, you can figure it out. It's
better for you to just have a hotel room. But
it's so disgusting and the issues with it too. Sometimes
comics will tell me like, oh, it's a nice condo.
It's like there's no such thing. There's no such thing.

Speaker 3 (50:26):
No, they just got the headliner room, which is slightly
nicer like than the than the feature room.

Speaker 4 (50:33):
And there was one, and there was one in Boise
that like it's a perfectly nice place with the old
Liquid club. I don't know if you guys ever did that,
but like it was a nice place. It was like
a two story townhouse whatever. But like it's just not
ever gonna be clean. There's a magic that happens in
hotels where like fricks your brain into thinking you're the

(50:55):
first person.

Speaker 1 (50:55):
They have professional cleaning products ozone machines. They are literally
built to clean up after anything and make it quality.
And you are now when you send a waitress who
makes minimum wage from the club, like, hey, go clean this,
go clean this place where a discuss an arguably disgusting

(51:18):
person did something arguably disgusting to.

Speaker 3 (51:21):
That waitress, Yes, in that bed, which distracted her from
cleaning any of the other garbage. So yeah, you're completely right.
In a hotel, there's this dice roll of you didn't
just sleep in the comedians the last week's comedians filth?
You're like, who am I following? Who's the last comic here?

(51:43):
I don't know if I'm going to stay in the bed.
I think I'm just gonna sleep in the car.

Speaker 4 (51:48):
Yeah, it happens on cruise ships too, Like sometimes they'll
put you in like it'll there'll be like one room
and you know this is for the comics.

Speaker 5 (51:57):
You know, we just go.

Speaker 4 (51:59):
You don't even want to look, like, I don't even
want to know who it was.

Speaker 1 (52:02):
There's one window and it just looks at the state
the space needle, and you just you're like, I'll tell
jokes about this one day.

Speaker 4 (52:12):
Yeah, this ship left from Seattle and I was looking
at the space needle and every time I see it now,
it reminds me of like I used to wish for
that thing to fall down.

Speaker 2 (52:23):
Did you have a did you have a thing ready?
Did you have Oh, did you have an.

Speaker 3 (52:30):
Did you have? Like?

Speaker 2 (52:34):
That's to space needle is sliding. It is sliding to
the ground. The space needle is raining from the heavens.

Speaker 1 (52:44):
Ever since the SuperSonics left the city, has he felt
this sort of devastation?

Speaker 4 (52:49):
If I was too prepared, I would have been viewed
as a suspect. I feel like, how do you have
such a good line for this?

Speaker 1 (52:57):
Did on his hand?

Speaker 4 (52:59):
What was that about trying to thread the space needles?

Speaker 5 (53:07):
That's not good? Yeah, no, I want to. I had
to come on.

Speaker 3 (53:11):
That's why I'm saying you need to workshop it, like
you can't just come out like.

Speaker 5 (53:14):
It's like I need my Oh the humanity.

Speaker 3 (53:19):
I'm pretty sure he like, I'm pretty sure he had
a match that he threw with the Hindenburg and he
was workshopping this thing.

Speaker 2 (53:26):
He was like, oh, oh oh that's craziness. Oh what
the bananas?

Speaker 3 (53:34):
Oh fuck, tuck tuck cluck. Oh, I can't use that.

Speaker 2 (53:37):
That's never gonna play.

Speaker 1 (53:40):
That's actually what the original one was. They had to
do his take two?

Speaker 2 (53:45):
What if?

Speaker 1 (53:46):
What if?

Speaker 4 (53:46):
That was just like anybody, we can't use any of that?
Can we give you? Holy fucking ship?

Speaker 2 (53:55):
Balls.

Speaker 3 (53:55):
They're like, we can't use that, sir, God damn it.

Speaker 1 (54:00):
Can you blow up a can you blow up another? Uh? Hindenburg,
do you have a second one for us?

Speaker 3 (54:04):
The blowing up part?

Speaker 2 (54:05):
And I'll go right from there.

Speaker 8 (54:06):
We'll go right from the blowing up part, and I'll
go right up us.

Speaker 2 (54:11):
I'm using that. Shut the funk up, George, I'm using that.

Speaker 1 (54:14):
Oh the humanity. Oh no, oh wait, I got it.

Speaker 2 (54:18):
Ooh the humanity?

Speaker 1 (54:22):
Humanity? Huh.

Speaker 5 (54:23):
I want to put a typo here.

Speaker 1 (54:24):
There's too many you ever noticed the thing about called
the humanity?

Speaker 4 (54:28):
Hey? What did you do with community?

Speaker 2 (54:32):
It's ridiculous?

Speaker 1 (54:33):
Oh yeah, I said, we're getting real fresh with those
Lenno impersonations. Andrew, any other jobs, any of the stories
that you want to share with us.

Speaker 4 (54:42):
I think we covered about all the jobs that have
come to mind.

Speaker 2 (54:46):
That's perfect love that these have been. You've set some
new records.

Speaker 3 (54:50):
I love this.

Speaker 2 (54:51):
It's speaking of records census.

Speaker 5 (54:55):
Yeah, okay, Andrew.

Speaker 1 (55:01):
We don't just exist on this podcast to talk about
the treasured national buildings that we hope fall down laying
sod or diet coke breaks. No, none of us.

Speaker 3 (55:14):
Really will hope for any buildings to fall. We're all
opening firs stability and we are just here radiating positive
building energy.

Speaker 1 (55:25):
The Awful Service Podcast does not endorse any of I
can't even do it. Okay, that joke has run its course.
We've kicked that dog anyway, Andrew, we also exist to
battle the scourge that is known as Karens. But before
we go into our next segment, Andrew Slater, how would

(55:46):
you define a Karen?

Speaker 5 (55:48):
Well, this is tough for me. Boys.

Speaker 4 (55:50):
A couple of things. My mom's name is Karen.

Speaker 3 (55:54):
Oh you were birds from a Karen, but like one
of the like the like the good.

Speaker 2 (56:01):
Witch of the North.

Speaker 5 (56:02):
No, no, no, whatever, She's not a Karen. She's Karen.

Speaker 4 (56:05):
I mean, she's not a Karen Karen.

Speaker 2 (56:09):
She's not a wicked Witch of the West.

Speaker 3 (56:11):
She's what's the other one, like the nice one.

Speaker 2 (56:16):
Yeah, she's Karen, the good Karen.

Speaker 5 (56:21):
Yeah, she's Karen, the good Karen. But she so so
get this so her.

Speaker 2 (56:26):
Oh yeah, at your man, at your mind. Pretty.

Speaker 4 (56:29):
She's not one of those too, No, no, she I mean,
but it is funny because when your name is Karen,
sometimes you are wronged in the customer service world, but
you feel limited on how you can handle that problem.

Speaker 3 (56:48):
Actually under Karen herself because her name is Karen's there's
plenty of times so she's like, I should go fight
this charge or something, as.

Speaker 4 (56:58):
We all would if we were overcharged for something. But
she feels constrained.

Speaker 1 (57:03):
Because of the name is on the credit cards.

Speaker 5 (57:05):
Their name is Karen, so they're like, of course you
would say you're overcharged, you know, all.

Speaker 3 (57:10):
Right, can you start your mom a business called like
Rosaline Jacob Rosaline like Slater Incorporated, so that she now
has so it's Rosaline Slater Incorporated and on the credit
card LLC.

Speaker 1 (57:30):
She has the ability for this, just for this one
thing to give her the.

Speaker 2 (57:38):
Appropriately.

Speaker 1 (57:39):
I feel like this is going to end up a
lot like your comedian ubering.

Speaker 3 (57:43):
Themselves to all right, we didn't that was I was
just throwing some out there. They don't.

Speaker 2 (57:47):
They're not all it's spaghetti against the wall. But I've
never met a Karen who's had to under Karen herself.

Speaker 3 (57:53):
Yes, because she's a Karen, I've never met one before.

Speaker 2 (57:59):
Well, she just an absolute delight. She's a wonderful woman.

Speaker 4 (58:03):
But she she is a little sad that now no
one will name their kids Karen anymore. That also hurts
her feelings because like, who's going to name their kid Karen?
But this is not even the best part. So they
also then she retired, uh and you know they're trying
to go green or whatever. My parents both retired, and
then they bought a Tesla. So she's she said, Karen

(58:26):
driving a Tesla. And that's another thing. Now she didn't
know at the time. This was like three years ago.

Speaker 1 (58:32):
So she just got to get the bumper sticks. I
bought this before he became an ass.

Speaker 5 (58:36):
Totally she's got.

Speaker 4 (58:37):
But now she's apologizing for her name.

Speaker 5 (58:39):
She's apologizing for the.

Speaker 4 (58:43):
Right. So I told her, like I told her, and
this is like a kind of a bit to just
brace yourself. But I told her, I was like, now
I don't trust anything you got you you do now,
I mean, it's it's not your fault, but you're just
you're just like this lightning rod for controversy, like name
Karen Tesla. It's like, I don't even want to accept
Christmas guests from this woman anywody, Like what was this

(59:05):
Hitler's favorite scarf?

Speaker 3 (59:09):
She has to be so anti fracking to.

Speaker 7 (59:11):
Like make up for It's like she needs to be
like a Karen Greta Thurnberg on Instagram.

Speaker 5 (59:21):
What's that she needs to follow?

Speaker 2 (59:23):
Greta Thurnberg on Instagram. She needs to lay.

Speaker 1 (59:27):
It's like to lay, it's something else that's crazy. Dude,
I'm still I'm I'm a gas like because that's just
so poor timing. The only thing is like, yeah, we
got rid of the Mitsubishi, the BMW, the Mercedes because
we really wanted no forward for us, because we wanted
companies that don't have bad backgrounds.

Speaker 3 (59:44):
Yeah, he's super fucked up. If she now she does
a twenty three and me and you're like, park.

Speaker 4 (59:49):
Trump, Yeah, oh my god, you're like, mom, stop just
quit quit looking into her.

Speaker 2 (59:56):
Not doing anything and just watch Netflix.

Speaker 4 (01:00:00):
But like, uh, it was just when the Karen thing
was like dying down a little bit too. It's so funny,
like right when like people were like, Okay, we'll give
karens another shot. And then that's when the Tesla thing started.
They put a Canadian flag on their Tesla and they
and they got the sign that's the Anti Elon Tesla

(01:00:21):
Club because they're like, what do we do?

Speaker 1 (01:00:23):
Yeah, you have you have to because you can't sell
it what did.

Speaker 2 (01:00:26):
She have before? What was she driving before the tesla?

Speaker 1 (01:00:29):
Andrew?

Speaker 2 (01:00:30):
Yeah, was she driving before the tesla?

Speaker 3 (01:00:33):
What did she have?

Speaker 5 (01:00:34):
Prius?

Speaker 3 (01:00:35):
So she had a Prius.

Speaker 2 (01:00:37):
We were just getting over the Karen thing.

Speaker 3 (01:00:40):
And she's like, I can finally, I've been paid cash
at restaurants for so long, right, just not put my
credit card down, just in cash.

Speaker 2 (01:00:52):
I'm just a Brittany or a Rebecca.

Speaker 5 (01:00:57):
Anything. Who's to know?

Speaker 2 (01:01:01):
And then she gets the tesla.

Speaker 4 (01:01:03):
Yeah, that's uh, I would not take I would not
take stock tips.

Speaker 1 (01:01:08):
So she turns out that she's actually Bernie made off.
Yeah no, so so Andrew though, so, how would you
actually now with that knowledge, how would you define it? Karen?

Speaker 3 (01:01:21):
Not your mom, but everybody thinks your mom somehow.

Speaker 4 (01:01:25):
No, in the classic sense, like if I'm able to
separate my mom from it, I would just say entitled.
So just someone who thinks they're entitled to a special
sort of treatment and then when they don't get it,
they throw a hissy fit.

Speaker 1 (01:01:41):
The definitely Well, each and every week, Andrew we look
up different Google reviews, Facebook reviews, Yelp reviews. Sometimes her
tweets are handwritten notes. In the segment we call the
Karen of the week. This is Karen, I'm your boss.

Speaker 11 (01:01:56):
Oh my god, my god, Karen, Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (01:02:20):
N This week's review is a Google review for a
bar called Monkey Farm.

Speaker 2 (01:02:28):
What the fuck?

Speaker 1 (01:02:30):
Yeah? And it's from uh christa decis all right? And
this is a numbered review, by the way, one star one.
I never trust a place that is cash only.

Speaker 4 (01:02:47):
Two.

Speaker 1 (01:02:48):
I never trust a place with a five page food menu.
Number three patio seating is what it is, but is
next to the designated smoking area. If the car exhaust
doesn't kill you. Number four no beer on tap, skip it.

(01:03:10):
Go to Mercin Brewery. Good beer and good people.

Speaker 3 (01:03:15):
What's number five?

Speaker 1 (01:03:16):
That was it? That was just one through four?

Speaker 3 (01:03:18):
Oh? I thought there was five? And then monkey Farm
is It's in five seven one Boston Post Road, Old Saber,
Connecticut zero six four seven five.

Speaker 2 (01:03:31):
The Monkey Farm Cafe. I will say, like it is
a long menu.

Speaker 4 (01:03:37):
If you're worried about a bar, or like like the
cleanliness of a bar or whatever, you don't want beer
on tap. Sometimes beer out of a bottle is the
right choice.

Speaker 1 (01:03:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:03:48):
A lot of comedy clubs I worked, we would they
had beer on tap, and I knew to avoid like that.
Bud light does not tasty, you know what I mean.
So a beer in a bottle is not always the
worst way to go if you're the cleanliness of the place.

Speaker 1 (01:04:05):
So a this is clearly a place. It's kind of
a dive especially if it's a cash only. A lot
of a lot of dive bars. A lot of those
sort of spots are cash only. That's fine, But guess
what they advertise that. You could probably go on their
website and find where it says cash only. Two.

Speaker 2 (01:04:25):
Yeah, it says it on the fourth page of their menu. Well,
still it's very bold, very bold.

Speaker 1 (01:04:31):
Still buld ladders. They're just hoping that everyone reads the
novel and then they get the afterwork.

Speaker 3 (01:04:35):
You know, I can't wait to tell you guys the
history of the monkey, the monkey in or whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:04:42):
The fun place, the one the one patio seating you're
fucking outside, Yeah, it's where.

Speaker 2 (01:04:50):
Do you expect the patio to be.

Speaker 3 (01:04:51):
It's going to be in the parking lot next to
the smoking area.

Speaker 2 (01:04:55):
Yeah, that's where they have to smoke.

Speaker 3 (01:04:58):
Now you can't smoke inside anymore, Dollphace.

Speaker 4 (01:05:01):
I love the idea too, of like not understanding what
a dive bar is and then writing a review afterwards like,
oh my god, they had neon signs everywhere.

Speaker 5 (01:05:10):
It was so tacky this dive bar.

Speaker 4 (01:05:14):
There were people were playing pool in the middle of
the restaurant.

Speaker 3 (01:05:18):
Just stivebar's got stuffed clams, ahi tuna, nachos, Bam bam shrimp.
They're throwing seafood at you. This isn't it's they got
fucking steaks.

Speaker 4 (01:05:31):
Ahis tuna, nachos.

Speaker 2 (01:05:34):
And stakes, chops and ribs.

Speaker 3 (01:05:36):
They are crushing this ship in old Stony FD, Connecticut,
or where the fuck they are.

Speaker 2 (01:05:42):
It's this lady walked in. She was just mad because.

Speaker 3 (01:05:46):
She didn't bring cash, and she she got to page
four on the.

Speaker 2 (01:05:51):
Menu and went cash. Ally, they don't even have tap beers.

Speaker 4 (01:05:55):
Tear.

Speaker 2 (01:05:56):
That's care.

Speaker 4 (01:05:58):
I like that too. That used to be the move
the club I started at. It was cash only, which
was for sure tax schem. And they would he would
have an at just a friendly ATM right there in
the bar and go, don't worry, there's an ATM right there, Like,
oh great, I just pay an eight dollars service fee
to buy a fifteen dollars ticket. Thanks for that.

Speaker 1 (01:06:19):
Well, there's this trend with yelp and Google reviews. Clapback
Owner claps Back.

Speaker 2 (01:06:29):
This is my fucking favorite, Andrew, I love this shit?

Speaker 3 (01:06:32):
Is it?

Speaker 2 (01:06:37):
We need a theme song for the clapback.

Speaker 1 (01:06:39):
We got to get a clapback theme song. It's cause
you know what it means. We just, honestly, we just
need the opening bit of put me in coach. I'm
ready to play.

Speaker 3 (01:06:53):
Yeah, oh yeah, all right, Oh please tell me he
numbers it too. No he doesn't number it down. It
doesn't no, no, no.

Speaker 1 (01:07:01):
This is a chef's kiss of a phrase, especially because
this is a die bar that spot you mentioned tune
and I don't know, not just just Joe. I'm buckling up, Joe.
It's three letters G F Y what what g.

Speaker 4 (01:07:27):
I got it?

Speaker 1 (01:07:28):
F why?

Speaker 4 (01:07:31):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:07:33):
Ship you just go fush yourself?

Speaker 2 (01:07:36):
Boom, dude.

Speaker 3 (01:07:38):
I like it's I think another I think that that
should be a clapback is just the one word band?

Speaker 4 (01:07:46):
You're done? Yeah?

Speaker 5 (01:07:49):
Where is this place?

Speaker 4 (01:07:50):
Connecticut?

Speaker 2 (01:07:50):
This is Connecticut.

Speaker 4 (01:07:51):
Let me look up the city, make sure everything's picturing,
Like now I'm picturing like an Italian like mobbed up guy.
And then that just made me think, like what if
I don't know if you guys are Sopranos fans. But
if if someone could write a Yelp review for Satreal's.

Speaker 5 (01:08:12):
And then and then just Tony replied or whoever.

Speaker 4 (01:08:16):
Okay, I now understand why someone writing as someone writing
a Yelp review on arties like trashing arties and then just.

Speaker 5 (01:08:25):
Are you clapping back?

Speaker 2 (01:08:28):
The clapback would be at their house.

Speaker 4 (01:08:30):
Yeah, they would put it back.

Speaker 2 (01:08:35):
I literally have.

Speaker 3 (01:08:36):
To spec you in your face until until you pass out.
So the Monkey Farm, I get why. I didn't realize,
but Old Saybrook is right there. It's uh, it's it's.

Speaker 2 (01:08:47):
Right there in the Long Island Sound.

Speaker 3 (01:08:50):
So it's yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:08:51):
So it is on the Long.

Speaker 3 (01:08:54):
Island Sound south of the Long Island Sound is Long
Island north of Long Island Sound.

Speaker 2 (01:08:59):
Is part of Connecticut.

Speaker 3 (01:09:01):
So I get why there's all that seafood and all
of the SaaS.

Speaker 5 (01:09:08):
I'm getting mobbed up by.

Speaker 2 (01:09:09):
It has a little mobbed up feeling too.

Speaker 1 (01:09:11):
Well. It is a cash only business, yes.

Speaker 4 (01:09:14):
Right, I would be careful. I'd be careful writing these
up reviews. Yeah, cash only businesses.

Speaker 1 (01:09:21):
Right.

Speaker 3 (01:09:22):
So we're going back to the Monkey Farm. I gotta
give us a little history here. This is a little
bit of history. The owner Harry F. Corning, purchased the
Saybrook in April twenty ninth, nineteen sixty eight. Several tenants,
mostly elderly single.

Speaker 2 (01:09:37):
Men, then occupied them.

Speaker 3 (01:09:39):
This is off the menu, by the way, then occupied
the inn until renovations forced the men known as the
knob Hill Gang out in the mid nineteen seventies. A
good piled up high roast beef sandwich was always to
be found at lunchtime in the inn, although focus was
mainly on serving alcohol. It was nineteen seventy eight that

(01:09:59):
the business his name changed to the Monkey Farm. Major
kitchen renovations were made again in two thousand and six.
Today Harry's three children run the business. Okay, what the
fuck was that? That was the history about this place.
We started in nineteen sixty eight.

Speaker 1 (01:10:17):
And we kicked We made some people homework.

Speaker 3 (01:10:18):
Several tenants, mostly elderly men, we kicked out at some point.
That was a specific They were known as the knob
Hill Gang, but they were some elderly old man gang
that just lived in.

Speaker 1 (01:10:31):
The knob Hill Gang was actually the predecessor to the
sugar Hill Gang. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:10:35):
They were the white version of the Sugar Killer Gang. Right,
and then they were really about. They were really they
loved the roast beach sandwich. They made an amazing roast
peach sandwich, but nobody really came in for that. They
came in for the booze. Yeah, I love it. Like
at the end, they're just like the other The.

Speaker 1 (01:10:52):
Food's okay, but get get hammered.

Speaker 2 (01:10:54):
And the business name changed to the Monkey Farm. And
then we made renovations to the kitchen. Now the kids
run tu Da. That's our history. It was such an odd.

Speaker 5 (01:11:04):
What an awful name.

Speaker 3 (01:11:06):
Yes, well there's a reason for that as well, but
we don't need to go into it's.

Speaker 4 (01:11:10):
A monkey the monkey Farm, Like I don't, I don't.
Are you growing monkeys or is it monkeys farming? Working
the link.

Speaker 1 (01:11:18):
I'm just glad that this is a business in Connecticut
and not in Saane, Mississippi.

Speaker 2 (01:11:24):
I was hoping. I like, I haven't read this, and
I'm really a very different racist. The name.

Speaker 3 (01:11:29):
The name has been around for decades and been used
for various sports teams. It was penned one day in
the early nineteen sixties by a customer commenting that they
would let anyone run this place. The previous innkeepers said
to be somewhat of a binger. He would often throw
the keys to a customer and say watch the place
till I get back. I'm going to the bank. He

(01:11:52):
forgot to mention the bank was in Reno and he
was stopping off in Vegas for a few days. A
customer shouted to the Lively crew, they let anyone work here.
This place is nothing but a monkey farm.

Speaker 1 (01:12:05):
Actually, that question when was that? When did when did
that happen?

Speaker 2 (01:12:10):
Nineteen sixties something.

Speaker 1 (01:12:12):
I was sure it's not racist.

Speaker 2 (01:12:13):
I don't know, That's why I said.

Speaker 3 (01:12:16):
When I read it, I'm like, I don't It was
the early nineteen sixties, So I don't know that this.

Speaker 4 (01:12:21):
Wasn't a racist It couldn't have been racist.

Speaker 5 (01:12:24):
It was the early nineteen sixty Oh.

Speaker 2 (01:12:26):
Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 1 (01:12:26):
What was they thinking, Well, honestly, now they could just
the marketing is right there, monkey farm, because this place
is bananas. Okay, yeah it's there.

Speaker 5 (01:12:37):
I don't I still don't care it. But if it's not,
I don't.

Speaker 2 (01:12:42):
Anyone could run it, even a bunch.

Speaker 6 (01:12:45):
Of That's why not the Monkey bar or the monkey
There was a monkey pub in Seattle when I lived there.

Speaker 3 (01:12:56):
That makes it because that's I guess there was a
lot of monkeys that drank as well, and they were
the monkeys.

Speaker 1 (01:13:02):
And then yeah, the farm part is actually yeah, the
farm part really yeah, unless unless they're a die bar
that does farm the table. M hmm, these is it.

Speaker 2 (01:13:16):
If it's a monkey farm.

Speaker 3 (01:13:18):
If it's monkey farm, the table, it's just taking ship
and throwing it at you.

Speaker 4 (01:13:23):
Yeah, to show.

Speaker 3 (01:13:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:13:26):
The more I think about it, the more it's like, yeah,
I'm not saying it isn't, but there's definitely like I
would under this.

Speaker 3 (01:13:34):
Is this is Connecticut closest to Long Island.

Speaker 4 (01:13:39):
Yeah. Yeah, in the sixties, that's not to best not
to pick at the scab.

Speaker 3 (01:13:44):
Yeah yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:13:47):
Is a lovely institution. I want to I want to
try a Tunanachos.

Speaker 2 (01:13:54):
It's like a magic guy.

Speaker 3 (01:13:55):
If like when you you slowly like see a sailboat
and then if you keep staring at it gets you're like,
oh shit, that's like a boat coming from Africa to
the Dammit, it's not just any sail boat.

Speaker 4 (01:14:09):
Damn it, damn it.

Speaker 1 (01:14:10):
Well that's what happens when you buy from the Amistad collection. Well,
we can to magic much like expecting a place that
takes cash only to not have tap beer. Sometimes we
have to ask ourselves, ge, why did it fail?

Speaker 3 (01:14:30):
Everything? Everything was I thought I was here to stay.

Speaker 2 (01:14:37):
I thought I'm here to stay. Now I have to
figure out why do you?

Speaker 5 (01:14:41):
Why did it? G?

Speaker 1 (01:14:45):
Why did it fail? As a segment where we look
at different products, we look at different businesses, and we
really go into advertising and we ask ourselves, why do
you think that didn't work out so well? And this
one I I found recently and it's it's actually a
British company. We're doing a British ge why did it fail?

(01:15:06):
So that's a little different. So you're you're a father, right, Andrew?

Speaker 4 (01:15:12):
That I am?

Speaker 1 (01:15:13):
So do you are? You have you become one of
those like those dads like don't talk to me until
I've had my.

Speaker 4 (01:15:17):
Cup of coffee.

Speaker 2 (01:15:19):
No, you know the ones.

Speaker 4 (01:15:22):
I'm the I'm the morning I'm the morning guy.

Speaker 1 (01:15:24):
Okay is not a morning person. So when I'm home,
I'm like.

Speaker 4 (01:15:29):
The morning.

Speaker 1 (01:15:29):
So this, this product wouldn't necessarily be for you. This
is for those sleepy time people who just want to
lay in bed, but they need to get that up
and that pep in their step, and boy are they
going to do it. Hold on, God damn it, they
did that thing again. Sorry you go back because I
didn't hit this stupid one thing all right, So try

(01:15:50):
that again to get up with their pep and the
step and well this is there. There's a little something
extra in there up their copper if you will, because
it is of course, uh British is this? This is
a tea commercial from England from the nineteen eighties and
it's this week's uh G, why did it fail?

Speaker 4 (01:16:13):
Munday's coming out of bed and it didn't get old.

Speaker 3 (01:16:23):
I could deal with the den what talt is about.

Speaker 4 (01:16:30):
That's the last done because it's just money.

Speaker 1 (01:16:33):
I could deal with the British playing.

Speaker 4 (01:16:43):
I could do with the D.

Speaker 3 (01:16:46):
I could do with the D. I could do with
the de.

Speaker 2 (01:16:53):
So D revives you.

Speaker 3 (01:16:56):
I love that. I want like I want that T
shirt there. Yeah, the D revives you. It's I've heard
of that theory is I've used that theory many times. Ah.
I love this commercial. I love the animations.

Speaker 1 (01:17:11):
And you're talking about like the like the.

Speaker 3 (01:17:13):
Little cloud that's raining on her and hammering her feet.
The feet. Yeah, the feet was my favorite. It was
like some uh some Roger Rabbit tune. Township. Yeah, little
arms and hands pounding and song.

Speaker 4 (01:17:28):
Oh my god, they're sawing her foot off.

Speaker 2 (01:17:30):
It's creepy.

Speaker 3 (01:17:31):
Her feet have arms, have their each have their own
set of arms, and they're fucking pounded away, just mashing
at her fucking feet.

Speaker 1 (01:17:40):
I have to go from the start of the commercial
where she has the angry alarm clock and rings. It's
a huge and it hits her in the head with
a hammer.

Speaker 3 (01:17:50):
I didn't notice that her abusive alarm clocks.

Speaker 2 (01:17:56):
Oh my god, this lady needs a d right out
the gate.

Speaker 1 (01:17:59):
And yeah. Oh, and then my other favorite part is, oh, yes,
her rapist boss. Yeah, yeah, there's a different time when
you just had to kind of put.

Speaker 4 (01:18:08):
Up with it.

Speaker 3 (01:18:09):
But you know what, I thought would have been even funnier,
And they probably did a take like this and they're like, yeah,
we can't show that on television. Where like it because
in this one, he's like flirting with her and like
kind of saddles up to her desk and she's at
the typewriter and then she hits like the fucking return
button and.

Speaker 2 (01:18:24):
It slides in.

Speaker 3 (01:18:25):
It pops him right in the side, right right in
the gut, right in the gut. But you know, they
did a first take where it hit him right in
the dick, and they're like, ah, we.

Speaker 2 (01:18:33):
Can't this thing the commercials about D. We can't hit
him in the D. She gets the D, he doesn't
get D in his D.

Speaker 4 (01:18:45):
It's so funny, how like obviously at this time, the
D and they didn't register with anybody, Like it wasn't
like suggestive, but it was. It's like, it's right there.
It's not like an interesting term for dick.

Speaker 2 (01:18:59):
You know, been there the whole time.

Speaker 4 (01:19:01):
He has been there the whole time. They didn't they
didn't go there, eglant. It's not like egg plant or
something weird because of the emojis. It's just like, no,
the D. It's like the most.

Speaker 3 (01:19:13):
If this tea company still existed, they're commercials now are
just a lady with a giant cup of tea and
it's like, yeah, you want make sure you want the
D comes in uh earl gray and black?

Speaker 1 (01:19:26):
Yeah. No, it's like, I like my big black D.

Speaker 2 (01:19:30):
How do you take your D?

Speaker 3 (01:19:32):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:19:32):
I like it black?

Speaker 1 (01:19:33):
Like no, No, that's far too creamy and weak.

Speaker 3 (01:19:38):
You can't fit all that black D in that cup.
Watch me.

Speaker 1 (01:19:42):
Honestly, though, if you told me that gen Z this
like do with the D was just like a way
of saying, like gen Z saying they're fucking I'd be like, yeah,
buy that.

Speaker 2 (01:19:49):
Yeah it's this, This could make a comeback.

Speaker 3 (01:19:53):
This is gonna get kids to drink tea, know you
d yeah ding right now you dian I got I
put two bags in here. I'm double D and dude,
it's like a decent I'm doing a decent.

Speaker 5 (01:20:06):
H It's weird to see a commercial for tea.

Speaker 2 (01:20:09):
Yeah, you know, well it's not American.

Speaker 4 (01:20:14):
Very not American. I don't think there's ever been an
American television commercial for tea the British weather.

Speaker 1 (01:20:20):
No, no, no, no, there.

Speaker 3 (01:20:23):
Has been many a te commercial in America. Do you
not remember Lipton brisk.

Speaker 2 (01:20:30):
Yeah, that's baby, it's baby.

Speaker 1 (01:20:33):
Yeah, fucking hot, like the like the tea bag, like
a tea.

Speaker 5 (01:20:38):
Bag, tea bags. There's never been a commercial television commercial
for tea bags before.

Speaker 3 (01:20:43):
I'm sure there hairs back then, back before TV got
like commercials got hardcore.

Speaker 5 (01:20:51):
Before commercials got hardcore.

Speaker 1 (01:20:52):
Commercials are hardcore now they got hard you talking about
you talking about before they got became hardcore.

Speaker 3 (01:20:57):
D Yeah, it was it was pre the micro machines guy.
This is after the micro machines guy. They've had to
step ship up.

Speaker 5 (01:21:05):
This is when commercials were hardcore.

Speaker 3 (01:21:07):
Yeah, they didn't know they were hardcore.

Speaker 1 (01:21:11):
What is that reading the side of the bag? So
refreshing t bag.

Speaker 2 (01:21:17):
But what is the name of the company? Brooke Bond D.

Speaker 1 (01:21:20):
Yeah, that's that. That was the name of the company
and it doesn't exist anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:21:23):
I look with a giant D.

Speaker 1 (01:21:26):
So that's how you do with the D.

Speaker 5 (01:21:28):
What does the D stand for?

Speaker 1 (01:21:30):
Bond? Brooke Bond.

Speaker 2 (01:21:33):
That's not how it works with two d's and the
last D is huge. But it should be a B.
I know, I know, I know.

Speaker 3 (01:21:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:21:41):
But then well it's like you know how they drive
on the wrong side of the road, same thing.

Speaker 5 (01:21:49):
So the way they they're there, the way there.

Speaker 3 (01:21:51):
If this lady needed if this lady needed a B,
it just wouldn't have worked.

Speaker 1 (01:21:56):
Well, to be fair, if it was if you're doing
both initials, it would have been And then that's a
whole other that's a very it's no.

Speaker 3 (01:22:05):
I'm like I've heard if you go there's a there's
this Chinese herbal shop down in Saint Paul. If you
need some tea that helps. It's got it. I think
it has tiger. Yeah, it's got some tiger stuff in its.

Speaker 4 (01:22:21):
Yeah, it's like in in in England, LBJ is n
s N.

Speaker 5 (01:22:32):
Is that right?

Speaker 1 (01:22:33):
That's actually their favorite American president.

Speaker 5 (01:22:35):
I had to really think about.

Speaker 3 (01:22:36):
That's like, have you guys ever gone to like like
a regular the grocery store like looking for like Chinese
tiger penis tea, like dick t Like you're like, is
that in the ethnic food section?

Speaker 1 (01:22:52):
Where do you go? I can't say that I have, Joe.

Speaker 4 (01:22:56):
I haven't one of those grocery stores where like there's
a full on duck with a head hanging in the window.

Speaker 3 (01:23:01):
And yeah, if you don't see a hanging goose somewhere, Yeah,
it's like is that Lipton and the regular t section?

Speaker 5 (01:23:11):
Is that everywhere's this duck's head? You don't have good tea?

Speaker 2 (01:23:17):
You guys don't have enough chicken.

Speaker 3 (01:23:18):
Feed here to have good tea.

Speaker 1 (01:23:21):
So I think this has been a great episode, Andrew,
but I think it's time we eighty six the podcast.
But before we go, we have one last quick segment.
It is called human Yelp Reviews. That's for you our
guest Andrew Slator. You get to review the podcast. You
can either review the podcast as a whole or join
myself individually. You can use a five star metric or

(01:23:42):
as many stars as you'd like, and whenever you want
to start.

Speaker 4 (01:23:47):
Okay, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go. Five stars. This
was a This was a great podcast. Joe Matt very welcoming.
It was a cashless experience. It is.

Speaker 2 (01:24:02):
Non transactional, very convenient.

Speaker 5 (01:24:05):
Did not have to worry about money at all.

Speaker 1 (01:24:08):
Oh we we just we just send a bill in
the mail. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:24:11):
Yeah, and uh, the I say that I love the
interstitials is very rare. Now with the podcast you had
theme song. The theme songs were a big hit for
me or boppers. I was moving my head to the music.
So highly recommend to all. If you're ever in Alaska
on a cruise ship and you want to do a podcast,

(01:24:34):
check out check out the service.

Speaker 3 (01:24:38):
You wouldn't You wouldn't have done this if you were continental.

Speaker 5 (01:24:40):
No, I were home and with my family.

Speaker 4 (01:24:44):
No, I would not have Sunday Memorial Day weekend YouTube.
But when I'm completely alone on a giant cruise ship, yeah,
you have all the time in the world.

Speaker 3 (01:24:54):
Do you like podcasting with Joe and Matt and then
whale watching right below that.

Speaker 2 (01:25:01):
On the port side.

Speaker 3 (01:25:02):
I would, I would. I gotta go, guys.

Speaker 4 (01:25:03):
I could turn my head forty five degrees and see
a dolphin jumping out, but I'm not.

Speaker 1 (01:25:07):
And then he said, like, I just want something to
happen to that dolphin so that I can do a
news report of that dolphin.

Speaker 4 (01:25:14):
That version is just me Instagram story.

Speaker 2 (01:25:18):
Oh my god, you guys, the dolphin.

Speaker 3 (01:25:20):
It's a six pack of a soda tan and the
dolphin's mouth is stuck on it.

Speaker 2 (01:25:25):
There's a tuna.

Speaker 4 (01:25:28):
Guys. Cut up those cut up those plastic rings seattle.

Speaker 1 (01:25:37):
Oh the humanity.

Speaker 5 (01:25:41):
Manatee gat.

Speaker 2 (01:25:44):
I like that man if I could have, if I will.

Speaker 3 (01:25:47):
Yuh. Now we forgot to turn our thing on again
to where the bells work.

Speaker 1 (01:25:52):
It's probably on mine, not on yours.

Speaker 2 (01:25:54):
Got to do it every episode. Now, this is terrible.
We can't use our bells.

Speaker 1 (01:25:57):
As one about our bells? No, okay? And sure, how
do our get how do our listeners follow you?

Speaker 5 (01:26:02):
So I'm at ANDREWS. Slater on just about everything.

Speaker 4 (01:26:07):
Andrewcomedy dot com is where you can my website where
you can sign up from an email list if you
want to see me live, that's the best way to
do it because you'll get emails about shows in your
area or I'm on like bands in town too, if
that's if that's a thing that you rock with.

Speaker 5 (01:26:24):
But any of that stuff. Andrew Slater s l e
I G H T e R.

Speaker 2 (01:26:30):
You know the traditional spelling of slaves.

Speaker 4 (01:26:33):
Oh. I don't know when this comes out either, but
I do have a new album coming out, Untapped Potential,
that'll be out at the end of next week, depending
on what May.

Speaker 1 (01:26:44):
This is going. This is coming out Friday, so.

Speaker 5 (01:26:46):
Okay, yeah, it'll literally be out today, so you can
so go.

Speaker 1 (01:26:49):
So when you're done listening to this podcast, go give
it a five star review, like share and follow, just
like you would if it was a YouTube tutorial.

Speaker 12 (01:26:58):
And go by to be number one on Apple Ortify,
or if you have a music subscription, you can just
download it, you know for free looks you.

Speaker 1 (01:27:10):
Know, no by by the vinyl. It's the best.

Speaker 5 (01:27:13):
Way to listen to it.

Speaker 4 (01:27:14):
I don't do any of that bullshit.

Speaker 1 (01:27:16):
No, My pure comedy actually comes out if it's on
a forty five.

Speaker 4 (01:27:20):
These guys the Vanity oh yeah, they sell a fucking
eight track.

Speaker 3 (01:27:24):
And they're get out of it.

Speaker 4 (01:27:27):
Nobody wants said ship. Just download it.

Speaker 3 (01:27:30):
Nobody might want that.

Speaker 1 (01:27:32):
You should. And I can personally endorse because I watched
Andrew run this hour in Saint Cloud. It. It's good.
It's really fucking funny. You're gonna love it, thank you.

Speaker 3 (01:27:42):
Yes, somebody, a couple of people are gonna want an
eight track or a vinyl.

Speaker 2 (01:27:48):
You don't fill your garage with that ship anymore garage.

Speaker 4 (01:27:52):
I got a garage full of bootlegged I bootlegged my
own Drive Bar special and put it on DVD.

Speaker 3 (01:28:00):
And your wife just wants you to sell enough so
that you could she could park the Preus back in there.

Speaker 5 (01:28:05):
Yeah, exactly. Don't don't tell drive Bar, but I have.

Speaker 1 (01:28:08):
I have Drive Bar. They see the explicit on our
podcast and they're like, oh, we don't listen.

Speaker 2 (01:28:14):
Yeah, we don't fight.

Speaker 5 (01:28:14):
Yeah, they don't fuck with us.

Speaker 3 (01:28:15):
We're doing they we're way too and we even though
we record this on Sunday.

Speaker 4 (01:28:19):
That was a genius merchant idea I had for about
five minutes.

Speaker 1 (01:28:23):
I love that. That's actually that's so funny, you know, some.

Speaker 4 (01:28:26):
Because what happens the reason why I did it is
because like some these crusehip gigs and some others, they
won't let you sell things that they also sell, so
like T shirts are out or stickers. Yeah, a lot
of stuff you can't sell. So DVDs though, or CDs
of your own work you can sell. And I was like, well,

(01:28:48):
no one wants to see who has a CD players,
Like maybe somebody has a DVD player.

Speaker 1 (01:28:51):
Still, that's still so f I was like.

Speaker 4 (01:28:54):
So I downloaded my own drivers, put it on DVD
and was selling it. And it's also as mad at
Drivermark because I was like, they're always ripping you off on.

Speaker 2 (01:29:03):
Those on the residuals.

Speaker 1 (01:29:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:29:06):
Yeah, So you're like, wow.

Speaker 1 (01:29:07):
You're getting paid in prayer points. Okay, all right, you're
gonna get your own fucking planet, Andrew, Okay.

Speaker 4 (01:29:12):
Mormon's better, get me to Mormon Heaven.

Speaker 1 (01:29:14):
That's all right, Joe. How do people follow you?

Speaker 2 (01:29:18):
Usually?

Speaker 3 (01:29:19):
Uh, you know, on Instagram it's photographizing, that's the word
photograph I EI and g Facebook or whatever. Just come
hang out with me in real life. That's the best
way to do it. Like it's none of this Internet
is real fucking Come hang out in real life You're
not real unless I see you in real life. How

(01:29:40):
about their Maples balls in your court?

Speaker 2 (01:29:43):
People?

Speaker 1 (01:29:47):
All right? You can follow me on Matt Douma on
Facebook and Instagram. You can follow me also at that
Matt Douma on Blue Sky and on TikTok uh As
for me. Every Wednesday in the basement of the Red
Carpet Nightclub in Saint Club, Minnesota, I do produce and
host the Kellor Comedy Open Mic, one in Minnesota's longest
running non stand up comedy club open mics, and I'm
very proud of that fact. Doors open at eight, the

(01:30:10):
show starts at nine ish. We have thirty two ounce
speer pitchers for only six bucks. Come on out see
some of the best rising talent in Central Minnesota every
Saturday for a while now the summer, so basically we've
got four Saturdays and then starting back in September, we
will have every Saturday night at Beaver Island Brewing Company
in Sink Club, Minnesota. We bring great acts in follow

(01:30:31):
that Beaver Island Comedy Series for more of that information.
For me, I've got a ton of shows coming up.
June is actually insanely busy for me, which is rare,
so just you can find those all in my socials.
I've got stuff, I mean got it for a week
there and thinking like every other day. I'm in the
Twin Cities, so it's gonna be fun. Follow the podcast
at awful Service Podcast across all platforms. Find us on

(01:30:54):
the web at www dot awful service podcast dot we
bleed dot com. Because we can't afford a non free website,
email us at awful Service Podcast at gmail dot com.
Tell us your favorite stories about people named Karen who
aren't Karen's. We want to hear those two. Andrew, you've

(01:31:15):
been a delight. Thank you so much for doing the show.

Speaker 4 (01:31:17):
Hey, thanks for having me, Sorry for the late start,
and yeah, I hope to see you guys in person, Yeah,
Joe saying sometime soon, and Orland sometime.

Speaker 3 (01:31:27):
Of course, and as always good Seriously, imagine if racist
magic eye existed where you're like, oh, that's just like
a regular thing, and then oh shit

Speaker 1 (01:31:42):
Columbus and have a good night.

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Awful Service Number One Hundred and Seventy-Six -Andrew Sleighter

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