Awful Service Number One Hundred and Eighty Mo Alexander

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Tape Deck Media.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
Welcome back. It's another episode of the Awful Service podcast.
This is the podcast that includes a bathroom attendant. That's right,
while you're listening to our show, that will be a
man in your bathroom offering you gum alone or to
wipe your hands. But you have to be listening to
our podcast. That's it's just how it works.

Speaker 3 (00:41):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 (00:42):
I don't think Americans want to do those jobs.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
Man, you don't think they want to be concierge.

Speaker 5 (00:46):
I don't think they want toilet waiters to toilet water?

Speaker 2 (00:50):
Is that what you call them? Toilet waiters?

Speaker 4 (00:54):
Hy toilet waiter? I'll take the check.

Speaker 2 (00:59):
Can I can I get a Can I get a
seat for two? It's me the original seat for two
Matt Douima with and your.

Speaker 6 (01:09):
Co host who just got into Cosplay, Joe Cocozello.

Speaker 4 (01:13):
Oh my god, I love it.

Speaker 3 (01:15):
We'll go.

Speaker 2 (01:16):
Let's bring in our guests. We can get his opinion
on Cosplayer path. Welcome to the podcast. He's a natural
touring comedian. He's one of the funniest guys you're gonna make.
Give it up from Moe Alexander everybody.

Speaker 3 (01:29):
Brother, do it? Okay? First of all let me stop.
You'll I guess, well your intro music, I thought you
were playing another I thought you're about to play another
kool aid K commercial for me. I was like, oh,
this is not the same thing. Okay, I mean.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Where are we going to? It's slightly less racist, slightly
less Oh my god, it's so funny.

Speaker 3 (01:50):
All right, sorry, yes, we got complay we're talking about.

Speaker 4 (01:56):
You know.

Speaker 6 (01:56):
I just so we just did, uh the Convergence, which
is a big, huge cosplay convention here in the Twin Cities,
right right right. I had never gone, and Miss Shannon
had a she has her show, Matt helps produce that,
and uh so I that was my first convention. So
I went early during the day and I just fell

(02:17):
in love with the people and the vibes. It's all
good vibes. You know. They're so welcoming. I didn't even
I wasn't even in costume. They were just like, yeah,
come on into our party room, like it's come hang out.
It's like it was just a really fun I love
the people and I'm super down to dress up now,
Like I was.

Speaker 3 (02:37):
Did you stay for the orgy?

Speaker 4 (02:38):
I did not stay for the orgy.

Speaker 7 (02:41):
Oh, so you know, you've been to a comic con.

Speaker 3 (02:43):
Huh. I've been to several k comic.

Speaker 7 (02:45):
Cough nerds me freaky.

Speaker 3 (02:48):
It's the hunt for the kink I people out there. No,
there's one in Atlanta called frolic Con, which which is basically, uh,
I don't want Whatever kink you can think of is
going on. It's everything from furries to you know, just
whatever you could imagine is happening there. Yeah. I was

(03:08):
just one. This one really hot chick was hit on
me and one night and I was with my friend
Charlie and his crazy ex girlfriend. She's like, yeah, you
should come back and hang out with We're not gonna
black Dahlia you or anything. And I just looked at
her and was like, man, please leave, because no one
ever needs to say I'm not going to black DAHLIAU,
which is a reference to a murder from the forties,

(03:30):
and no one should just come up in contact with
what the hell is wrong with you? Girl? And that
just was so mad. I was so.

Speaker 4 (03:36):
Madly take your girl over here.

Speaker 6 (03:44):
That was so bad.

Speaker 2 (03:48):
This was a little less a little less kinky, I
guess a little bit. But for listeners who don't know
a lot of these like comic cons, sci fi fantasy cons.
It doubles at it's like, hey, you get to like
your kids get to come, and it's like it's cute,
see and it's fun and there's stressed up. But then
at night there's party rooms where you're gonna see link

(04:09):
from the legend of Zelda fucking Princess Peach. Okay, that's
just that's what's gonna happen. Yeah, it's it's a little bit.
It's it's you know, you take the sour with the sweet,
all right, you know what I mean? It is the
sour patch kids of events.

Speaker 3 (04:24):
Yeah, at one, at one frolic Con I only I've
only been to two, but the first one I went to,
uh at some point some guy was dressed in a
stay Puff marshmallow man And that's all you need to know.
That's all you need to know.

Speaker 6 (04:41):
Please tell me he had marshmallow genitalia.

Speaker 3 (04:44):
He was People had flutter nuffer all over their faces.
That's all I know. That's all you need to know.

Speaker 2 (04:56):
The three people into diabetic and pussy coma that day.

Speaker 3 (05:02):
You see the weird ship.

Speaker 6 (05:03):
But I think putting fluffer under there, that's how you
get a ut.

Speaker 3 (05:06):
I oh it was a weird light.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
Well, when he's done, it's gonna be sticky no matter what.

Speaker 3 (05:14):
Yeah, yep, yep, that's that's what. That's why that's the
only way they do to get in trouble because he
didn't put that like a classical and they got charted
the cleaning feet.

Speaker 7 (05:24):
Yeah, he lost the deposit.

Speaker 4 (05:26):
Yep, yep, that is That is something that I didn't realize.

Speaker 6 (05:29):
All of these So in the rooms, when you go
into the party rooms, they all have the plastic down
on the floors.

Speaker 4 (05:37):
Like it's an episode of Dexter.

Speaker 3 (05:40):
Yeah, because you go into the party with clothing on,
maybe within forty five minutes everyone is naked. The punch
or whatever they're drinking is it's it's just breaks into
a swingers club. It was awful.

Speaker 6 (05:56):
The punch was glowing in one room.

Speaker 4 (05:59):
I was like, I'm have some of that. I am
definitely down on neon green punch.

Speaker 3 (06:05):
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 7 (06:07):
It was a different kind of Ecto cooler.

Speaker 2 (06:09):
Joe, don't drink the green Ecto cooler. It's gone, bad man,
cooler is gone. Actually, well that wasn't the state pup
marshmallow Man. It was actually a guy who thought he
was trying to be the Michelin man, but he's just
a little too big.

Speaker 7 (06:25):
You know what you awest might be right, he just
had a rubber fetish.

Speaker 4 (06:30):
Okay, initially, man likes to get his dick shops.

Speaker 2 (06:32):
Come on, we're going, I'm good for one hundred thousand miles, baby,
let's go.

Speaker 3 (06:40):
You got ridiculous, No, it's fun. It was.

Speaker 2 (06:42):
It was a ton of fun though, Like, honestly, I
love doing so I do a lot of these cons
with them Miss Shannon and I produced them comedy through
the chaos that we do at these different places, and man,
like the amount of like I will have to say,
like even on the non kinky side of it, which
is totally fun. By the way. My favorite game to
play at cons the spot the throttle. Yep, oh yeah,

(07:02):
one hundred percent. Like your bingo card, all right, Like
there's a polyque done, all right? Ooh, orgy in room
seven to twenty five, got it? No, But at the
same time, it's like the amount of like effort, like
Joe is saying, these people put into their costumes.

Speaker 3 (07:16):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, they're beautiful. It's ridiculous. How much
the ridiculous amount of money how much they spend, how
much time they spend on it, because they take just
a series. This is their graduation day from whatever they're
going through. It's awesome. It's awesome.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
They're neurodivergent graduation.

Speaker 4 (07:35):
But they're so welcoming. You can have a Halloween store.

Speaker 3 (07:38):
I'm not I'm not listen. I'm not. I'm not. I'm
not going off on them. Some of these people, some
of my closest friends. I know these people. I tell
these people. I mean, yeah, I don't go to conventions
much anymore, but I'm making an appearance every now.

Speaker 4 (07:50):
Dad, I'm next year. I'm dressing up.

Speaker 6 (07:53):
So I have a list of cosplay things that I
top of the list is currently uh or Gasmo from
the movie or Gasmo.

Speaker 3 (08:03):
No, no, I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna tell
you when for you writ in down? Okay? Uh did
a cartoon on Netflix? Uh? Oh crap, hold on one second,
I gotta fat this cartoon. Give me one second.

Speaker 2 (08:20):
Joe, I don't know if you do orgasma. I think
you kind of have more Chowa boy. Uh boy, Dad,
I'm not gonna do hamster style anymore.

Speaker 3 (08:31):
Okay, what is it called such a good I'm so sorry.
Just take a look. I gotta I just watched this
cartoon a couple of days ago, and you've been perfect
for Your voice is perfect for this cartoon.

Speaker 7 (08:41):
Is it that big mouth?

Speaker 3 (08:44):
Thank you? That's it. You would be. You would be
perfect as a horny monster monster.

Speaker 7 (08:52):
Yeah, I actually you know what.

Speaker 2 (08:53):
And also if you dressed up like the hormone monster
at a comic con, Joe's gonna get laid like. That's
just that is a given that costs have.

Speaker 6 (09:00):
To have a dig hole.

Speaker 3 (09:03):
I'm serious, you'd be. You'd be the greatest hormone moster ever.

Speaker 4 (09:06):
Love it, dude, that actually sounds like a perfect contra.

Speaker 3 (09:14):
About Google. It's about Google hormone most put a picture
you got.

Speaker 2 (09:19):
It works, It works, It definitely works.

Speaker 3 (09:22):
Joe.

Speaker 2 (09:22):
You just have to you actually have to grow the
hair out some more.

Speaker 3 (09:26):
You gotta look like you gotta look like a FoSER
in Minneapolis. You gotta get the fother hair.

Speaker 2 (09:32):
Going both get poser hair and beard, grow the beer out.

Speaker 7 (09:35):
Let's get along.

Speaker 4 (09:37):
Yes, dude, I am so down on this.

Speaker 3 (09:39):
I mean every time, at every time I hear your voice,
I just think hormone mostard.

Speaker 2 (09:44):
You do have some nick Kroles quantity air qualities there, Joe,
So I get it. I get it. Well, yes, sir,
this is the Awful Service Podcast. We don't just exist
to talk about orchies at comic cons or bathroom waiters
or any of that. No, uh, this is a podcast
where we talk about different jobs and the stories there within.
The very first segment on the podcast is one that

(10:04):
we lovingly refer to as the Resume Show.

Speaker 8 (10:09):
What's your reome?

Speaker 4 (10:11):
Why should we hired? Have you ever had a job?

Speaker 3 (10:14):
Right? You have been?

Speaker 6 (10:15):
Tell us all about yourself and a place of business
talk spilt the shady politics.

Speaker 3 (10:23):
Show What's Your Resume?

Speaker 2 (10:28):
Although as a quick aside, I think it would be
interesting if we could ever get someone who was a
bathroom attendant at a con.

Speaker 6 (10:35):
Oh, someone just does that at a con and they're like,
that's just You're just like, hey, I'm just posting up
in this bathroom here for the next four hours.

Speaker 2 (10:43):
At this con, they were all gender bathrooms and everything happened.
It was like it was like tampons and they had
some like mints and stuff. And then it's also dental
dams and condoms.

Speaker 6 (10:52):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, what they don't need to make
more kids, like they gotta spend that money on con costumes.

Speaker 2 (11:01):
Like listen, we don't need you to not be here
next year. Okay, yeah, I love them.

Speaker 3 (11:06):
I love those things.

Speaker 2 (11:07):
So the resume section again, where you can talk about
some of the jobs you've had. You don't have to
do every job that you had, Stories from the road,
anything like that also kind of works.

Speaker 7 (11:15):
And with everyone you want to start with.

Speaker 3 (11:18):
Oh, my old jobs, I used to I used to
work at Blockbuster a little, a little my earlier jobs.
I worked at Blockbuster for like three years, and uh,
I used to have fun in that place because because okay,
so my my sections were foreign films and video games.

(11:42):
So my foreign film section I've never really had to
do much too, because no one ever went over to
a bottle the movies, where the video game Blockbuster.

Speaker 2 (11:51):
Where where it was like what the city I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 (11:53):
Memphis, Memes. Yeah, no one went to the foreign film
section very much.

Speaker 2 (11:58):
And so usually my you're trying to tell me that
Memphis wasn't trying to rent.

Speaker 3 (12:03):
Lolan Run Run, like you know what I mean, Like
there were seven people who came to get that movie
one day, and that only happened one day.

Speaker 7 (12:13):
To be fair, I remember that.

Speaker 3 (12:15):
I remember that movie specifically because no one ever rid
of that one day seven people game try to get it.
No one ever else came. I used to work in
Blockbuster Video in Memphis, and I said, fire and films whatever.
The video game section would always be torn up from kids.
And I remember this other time, well, I had like

(12:36):
fifteen twenty movies walking back, you know, putting them on
the wall, because but what to do if you're a
for the while? And these kids who were tearing up
the section of a video that I had to clean up,
and I just walked over there. You could even see
my face all the videotapes, and I'm just like, hey, kids,
if you don't stop that, I'm gonna set you both
on fire. And they both looked at me. A moment

(13:00):
I saw them, and they screamed and ran to their
mother and she was like, you leave that man alone.
He didn't work right now, and she beat their asses
right there in front of me, and I had to
hold everything in not to last my ass off the
entire time.

Speaker 2 (13:17):
I set you on fire, Like, yeah.

Speaker 3 (13:22):
I did. I swear to God. I told her that
I will set you both on fire. Just whispered it
to them.

Speaker 9 (13:27):
I'm like, ah, yeah, od, they have been scared of
the Those two kids were so glad when Blockbusters shut
down because they have been so traumatized by Blockbuster.

Speaker 3 (13:40):
One day because I was I was, you know, I
was doing I just started doing comedy maybe two years
while I was still working at Blockbuster, and cause I
had quit my job at FedEx because I hated it.

Speaker 2 (13:51):
And and those children were Read Hastings and Mark Randolph,
the founders of Netflix.

Speaker 3 (14:00):
That's funny. That's funny.

Speaker 6 (14:02):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (14:03):
At one time, I had three different stores because that
said we're in Memphis, and I think it was just
it was just like one of my favorite songs from
my favorite old movies with Shaft, and I had three
stores on the phone, all singing Shaft with me. I

(14:24):
had like, OK, I was like, hey, east Gate, all right,
I just need you to go. All right, Barla, I
needed you to go. And I did that. I just
kept going over the phone back and forth, and my
maager just like, what is wrong with you?

Speaker 2 (14:39):
Just laughing around talk about Shafts and.

Speaker 3 (14:42):
Talking about that. You know what I'm about, shout tell
math I'm just talking about And they all were all
the thing doing it. I had two people singing, two
things doing the sound sects. It was so stupid. And
my manager, who's still a friend of man to this day,
was just like, what did row with you?

Speaker 2 (14:56):
Like? You fucking hired me? Dude?

Speaker 4 (14:58):
Like, actually she did video games?

Speaker 3 (15:02):
Actually she did.

Speaker 4 (15:03):
I came.

Speaker 3 (15:03):
I was there before her, so she came.

Speaker 2 (15:05):
She was like, what road was grandfathered in?

Speaker 3 (15:08):
Yes, exactly, it was great.

Speaker 2 (15:13):
Did your did your Blackbuster have the little beaded curtain
section for the you know, no, we did not have that.

Speaker 3 (15:18):
Because they had another video store across the street. Uh.
They was owned by my friend's family who had that.
They had they had the porn section. Yeah, they had
the poor section. So we'd go over there to get
poored and just you know, you more, Hey, if.

Speaker 2 (15:30):
You want if you want Amie in space, you're gonna
have to go across the street.

Speaker 3 (15:36):
Not that we refused the original space.

Speaker 4 (15:40):
That's a crazy that's a crazy family business. Like, now,
what does your parents do a porn we do?

Speaker 2 (15:48):
They also rented other videos though right it wasn't yeah
it was it.

Speaker 3 (15:51):
Wouldn't get the porns up. It was actual video store
and they had just the backroom porn, and you know
it would just be like ten tapes just sitting on
the wall trying not a little in configureous, like, hey,
we're we got fourth and uh so that's what we
get to fourth.

Speaker 2 (16:06):
Those are ten. Those are ten tapes that have been
sandwiched between too many family.

Speaker 7 (16:10):
Movies over the years.

Speaker 3 (16:11):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 (16:13):
Okay, so we're gonna be watching Balto uh, Debbie does
Dallas and uh oh, Thirteen Years of Slave.

Speaker 6 (16:20):
Okay, you're just grabbing whatever movies are around closest to
the beaded curtain.

Speaker 4 (16:28):
I don't take that one. This one good sandwich. There
we go, let's go dah.

Speaker 3 (16:32):
I never did that. I just I'll just I'll just like, yeah,
I watched I watch a big booy bitch of seven
to Night, y'all, how am I gonna be able to
follow it?

Speaker 2 (16:40):
I haven't seen one through six though, No worry.

Speaker 3 (16:46):
This one will be a prequel.

Speaker 7 (16:50):
I'll actually call that a pre come in that industry.

Speaker 4 (16:52):
I don't want to watch porno prequels. They're underage.

Speaker 3 (16:55):
Oh so the Tracy lords ever thought? Okay, sorry about
that reference. That's a oof that hold on, hold on
only way.

Speaker 4 (17:07):
For the guests get things.

Speaker 2 (17:15):
It's mostly that was a good that's a that's a
reference that you'll have to be of a certain age
to remember, which is funny considering the certain age.

Speaker 3 (17:27):
No bluck Buster block Buster was one of my It
was my favorite job other than comedy, because I just
got to stand around. We make fun of people who
brought back shitty movies. Because there are these twins, these uh,
these hood twin brothers who were like in their fifties
would come in all the time and I could tell
which one was wished because of them where their teeth were,

(17:47):
and uh, I know it solf messed up, but what
had take you on the top an? They had no
teeth on the bottle. It was just weird. And they
actually they would probably as they came in and then
what is this movie good? No? All right, but I
won't get this and let me get the sequel. It's
a bad movie. I don't I want to watch it.
And they watched the worst movies you could get and

(18:09):
then come back and complain about how do you credit
because the movie was bullshit. I told you the bullshit before.
You won't get the hell away from me, and I
just I would just get the hell away from me
and start sort fight.

Speaker 2 (18:18):
I told you not to get under siege too. But anyway,
you know what fucked up?

Speaker 3 (18:23):
You are too close to reality with that one watch
too close to reality.

Speaker 2 (18:28):
It's okay, I'm I'm placing the time era it was
plus the age of the Men, and I'm like, oh,
they're the goall fans.

Speaker 3 (18:37):
Oh yeah, this this was This was like ninety three,
ninety five, ninety five. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 (18:44):
Like you guys are gonna rent Double Impact again.

Speaker 3 (18:49):
They would have rent, They would rent every they would
rent all the uh the original UFC fights when they
had to be old video and they they had no rules.
So you have an eight hundred pound dude walk on
the day with a twelve foot, twelve pound African dude
and the twelve foot the twelve pound africanot would beat

(19:09):
his ass. Yeah, of course, he just took him took
too long to turn. Uh.

Speaker 2 (19:19):
Guy was just like he's just trying to like land
on him.

Speaker 3 (19:21):
That's exactly what he did. He was trying to do that.
They'd watched all those and didn't come back ahead. Man,
did you see him? Like, I don't want to talk
to you about this video? Get away from me. Every day.
I just be mean to him.

Speaker 2 (19:35):
Because they were trying to They try to get store
credit for movies.

Speaker 3 (19:37):
They door credits. I mean every day that coming in
with a store This movie sucks out like a store credit.
Get the hell away from me, I told you before
you went walked in there, no matter. Yeah, they were gonna.

Speaker 6 (19:47):
Make They wrote and planned Double Impact to a sequel
to Double Impact.

Speaker 3 (19:55):
Yes, that's true.

Speaker 2 (19:57):
Really, yes, how were they going to make a movie
where John un Claude Van Damn plays his own twin
and then they're going to make a sequel to it?

Speaker 7 (20:05):
By the way, that.

Speaker 2 (20:06):
Movie, I remember it very very carefully as a kid
because it was one of the very first times I
saw a sex scene in a movie.

Speaker 7 (20:13):
But actually, fucked up about it.

Speaker 2 (20:14):
Is it's a sex scene where Jean Claude band Damn
is having a three way with his own twin.

Speaker 4 (20:19):
Yeah, it's a pretty fucked up.

Speaker 3 (20:21):
That's the most narcissistic porn I never thought about right there.

Speaker 2 (20:25):
Actually, though it kind of makes sense because it was
Jean Claude Van.

Speaker 3 (20:28):
Damn then damn.

Speaker 2 (20:29):
Yeah, that's not Lionheart, all right, that's not very He's
not fighting in a pool. He was fighting his urges
to fuck himself.

Speaker 3 (20:39):
It's not gay if he's darking on yourself, all.

Speaker 2 (20:41):
Right, He's like, listen, if I do the splits on
my own cocks, its gay.

Speaker 3 (20:48):
They didn't even need the girl in that scene. They're
just like, ha ha, yeah, I wants from Breslers. I
think the double what the movie called double trouble, all
of it double impact, telling impact, the sequel, and I'm
not joking about this. I think the sequels was supposed
to be they meet their identical twin covens.

Speaker 4 (21:11):
For John Quid quadruple impact.

Speaker 3 (21:17):
I'm yeah, I'm not even joking.

Speaker 7 (21:22):
Been an orgy of him exactly.

Speaker 3 (21:25):
It would have been like double quadruple impact, double penetration.

Speaker 4 (21:30):
It's just it's just.

Speaker 6 (21:31):
A chain of of Van Dam's.

Speaker 2 (21:35):
Actually had the same cover as Multiplicity, but in a
very different the.

Speaker 3 (21:40):
Original version of the Human Centipede.

Speaker 7 (21:45):
Ship.

Speaker 2 (21:46):
What was so you're you're, you're You're having to deal with?
Were there any other people like that? You're just the
people you had to deal with. Obviously had to deal
with these two guys who they just had a terrible
taste of a movie and then expected you to have
to deal with it?

Speaker 3 (21:59):
What the one of Imagine was one of my better
friends of the time, the other manager at the other store,
all three of the three of the five stories in Memphis,
I had the management team with me. So whatever went
down for the bust part, I never got in trouble
because we did have a phone call about the Shaft incident.

(22:21):
Uh like that.

Speaker 7 (22:23):
They called it the shafts They that.

Speaker 3 (22:26):
We did have a phone call had together there. Now
what happened when we were all singing the song cheft
what why? Because we live in Memphis. It's classic Isaac age.
What is your problem? Sir? Have you never watched Shaft?

Speaker 2 (22:39):
And I made the man watch shift original.

Speaker 3 (22:46):
Richard brown Tree this is the yes, the the second
version of Shaft, uh, which was what was the name
of Shamuel Jackson's in a good version and a good version.
He it makes me happy because he wasn't playing the
rigid brown Tree Shaft because Richard Rowntree is actually in
the movie. It's his uncle.

Speaker 7 (23:02):
So that's that's right, that's right.

Speaker 3 (23:04):
Yeah, yeah, I know way too much about movie. Still
this that's.

Speaker 2 (23:07):
Fine, and that's cool, Like, no, that's that's that's very funny.

Speaker 3 (23:11):
Yeah, but yeah. So the guy. Actually I told him,
the big boss, the regional manager. I made him watch Shaft.
I said, listen, you have to watch Shaft Shaft in Africa,
but you can skip Schaft's big score all right. Next
time I saw he was sinking the shaft, thinking, I
was like, all right, he.

Speaker 2 (23:30):
Just walked up to you and you're like you were
damn right.

Speaker 3 (23:34):
He was not that cool to get that reference, but
he would have. That would be perfect. Oh that was
my That was that was my one of my That
was one of my favorite jobs. And you know that
I worked at FedEx for a while. I hated those people.

Speaker 7 (23:46):
Uh of course, like what were you doing foredx U?

Speaker 3 (23:51):
When I quit, I was in charge of making sure
the Spokane Washington flight did not crash every night.

Speaker 6 (23:58):
What see, just have the Spokane flight on the phone
and you're just singing shaft, no keep away, no no,
no no no.

Speaker 3 (24:06):
I was. I was. I was like like the uh
well I was. I was not the ramp agent. I
was the uh what we call fails. I can't remember,
but I was like I was in charge of that flight.

Speaker 6 (24:17):
Everybody you had them glowey sticks and no no, no, no, no no,
I was.

Speaker 3 (24:22):
I was in charge of making sure that flight got
loaded correctly. Okay, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (24:29):
You can't.

Speaker 3 (24:30):
You can't have an off ballance flight. That'd be bad.

Speaker 4 (24:33):
Throwing box.

Speaker 3 (24:34):
Yeah no, that's the truck. Were willing nelly that ship
all night. Uh but yeah, so we were. I was
like a ramp agent in the tap for a little bit.
And then I was like, uh, I did not get
the hals. I got the hals maat license, But I
want to be the hals Matt dude. Of course not No,
because there's this famous stir By, this guy, uh from
from the Memphis Hub. He was my manager for a

(24:56):
little bit, like right when I quit, he was my manager.
I hated this dude and he was an idiot. And
he used to be the guy who was doing the
half mat and his hair got wet one night, but
it was writing, so he didn't find out. He didn't
think anything was wrong with it until like three days
later when all his hair fell out. And so then

(25:17):
they could not fire him.

Speaker 2 (25:18):
Ever, that's a that's a double impact for you.

Speaker 3 (25:28):
They never they couldn't fire him because the way he
structured his ham And I'm injured and this is gonna
be my new deal. He had a job for life
and he just fucking stuff up. Why would they.

Speaker 6 (25:41):
Hire the idiot for the Hals match? That seems In's say,
I don't know he was.

Speaker 3 (25:46):
I guess he wasn't an idiot before he screwed up,
maybe made him dumber. But if you go into the
halfback container, they have ropes and like netting the whole
stuff down. And he went into it, you know, you
got to verify stuff, and the nets were wet, and
he just thought again, rained on and that's what happened
to him.

Speaker 6 (26:06):
Oh my god, Now you got this bald idiot as
the has mad person.

Speaker 3 (26:10):
Yes, no, no, no, Now he's a manager. He moved
up to manager after they after he was no longer
has it. He became a manager, which would where the
real problem of.

Speaker 2 (26:18):
Get weird weird. So yeah, that's actually that was his
superhero or super villain origin story, depending on your perspective.

Speaker 3 (26:26):
He would he would be. He would be like a
dumber Bizarro.

Speaker 7 (26:33):
And seeing something Solomon.

Speaker 3 (26:41):
Uh. The bad part is he goes to those cons.
He does I'm not even kidding.

Speaker 2 (26:47):
He addresses like a state puff marshmallow.

Speaker 3 (26:49):
No gross, no, he is a he's a pure He's
the like the lowest, the highest low level NERD of.

Speaker 2 (26:57):
D and D possible, all right, he just he only
has limited options.

Speaker 7 (27:04):
He can either be Professor X.

Speaker 2 (27:08):
The car.

Speaker 7 (27:09):
That's it. That's all he's got.

Speaker 6 (27:11):
Funny, just regular dungeons and dragons, not advanced D and D. Yeah, yeah,
you cannot get all those rules.

Speaker 3 (27:19):
Yeah you can't. You can't be in a vass placement
D and D if you get with nits.

Speaker 7 (27:23):
And to be fair, he actually was the founder of
a D H, D and D.

Speaker 4 (27:28):
Yeah. Fluffy goes to heck.

Speaker 3 (27:39):
Alright, just podcasting food.

Speaker 2 (27:40):
I like this. It only took a half hour. And
he's like, you know what now, I like.

Speaker 3 (27:44):
These guys here before we beget their.

Speaker 4 (27:48):
You know that a while to realize this wasn't a
true crime podcast.

Speaker 3 (27:52):
I thought the truth. God, I swear to God, I
thought it was a true crabbing because it was I
thought it was you. Joe. You're just like, yeah, just
tell me some crabs that happened to you, And I'm
just like, yeah, I can do that.

Speaker 2 (28:05):
To be fair, there is some overlap between crimes and
jobs that you had. You know, I get it. I
get it because time theft is a crime that just
no one prosecutes for it.

Speaker 7 (28:15):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (28:16):
See my whole you understand my whole staff. And when
I worked at Blockbuster and were cool, and it was
like right when the casinos came to Tunica, Mississippi. So
on like a Wednesday night, after we shut down the store,
all the management and me would head to Tunica and
play black jack, take over our whole table and rob
them blind and just wear Yeah, everybody, everybody Blockbusters a

(28:40):
little buttons on.

Speaker 2 (28:41):
Actually it was a whole Ocean's eleven scheme where actually
you had to keep the money in the videotape cassettes
and then you put it into the drop slot at night.

Speaker 7 (28:49):
Oh my god, all of a sudden he's like.

Speaker 2 (28:52):
Oh no, we keep the money's kept in the junior mints.
No one ever buys those.

Speaker 6 (28:57):
In the foreign section.

Speaker 3 (28:58):
That was another reason I hated those two twin brothers.
They would get the ten minutes all.

Speaker 7 (29:02):
Right, Oh that's no, that's that's yeah.

Speaker 3 (29:06):
I knew something up.

Speaker 6 (29:08):
Yeah, no, they that's the only thing that their soft
little teeth can handle it. They only had they only
had teeth on one side of their face.

Speaker 7 (29:17):
They broke all their teeth from the goobers problem.

Speaker 3 (29:19):
You're not you don't even understand how close you are
to these things. Do you remember do you actually remember
being in a blockbuster? How they had to how they
had the like little metal detector or tape things, So
you walk out and you go off if you're trying
to steal a tape, yep. And this dude would just
sit there for like five minutes trying to get me
to talk to him, just probably intent mints into his mouth,

(29:41):
just flicking him into his mouth. It was just like
it was like a scene from a Chappelle show. I'm like,
what are you doing, dude? And this was like every
other day. He'd be like, so, let me tell you
about this movie. You told me it was a bad movie,
but I thought it was a good movie. I'm like,
get the fucky.

Speaker 2 (29:54):
He's trying to distract you so that his friend could
sting steal red vines. His brother can steal red vines.

Speaker 4 (30:01):
You probably killing They're just gumming these.

Speaker 3 (30:04):
Gum and man.

Speaker 7 (30:07):
They were in that was their double impact.

Speaker 3 (30:10):
See, this is this is making me actually miss blockbusters.
I never thought that would happen. Jesus.

Speaker 2 (30:18):
Yeah, yeah, no Portland, I thought Portland.

Speaker 3 (30:20):
Yeah, somewhere, see somewhere I would go. I would go working.
I would work in that Blockbuster for one day if
they let me tell children that I would set them fire.

Speaker 2 (30:29):
Yes, Blockbuster the last. But we know you listen, We
know you listen to the podcast you have over this
one day, one day, just one day.

Speaker 3 (30:37):
Just one day. You have to pay me, just let me.
Let me tell children I'm an set them on fire
in a whisper voice, not like a creepy arcady whisper voice,
not like not like that, just like, Hey, if you
don't stop that, I'm gonna set you both on fire.
You gotta say like that that fire you got fire.

Speaker 7 (31:00):
It was upon one to ask what was your first job?

Speaker 2 (31:02):
Though?

Speaker 3 (31:04):
My first job? Remember, I think I think I was
working at a fire fireworks stand for a while and
right after high school?

Speaker 2 (31:16):
Is that one of those ones? It was like on
a state line from somewhere else or.

Speaker 3 (31:20):
Exactly exactly exactly. I lived in Messister, state Land in Mississippi,
and it was right over the border in Mississippi, and
it was like five of my friends from high school
all worked at this one place. And so you know
we would have fun to issue fireworks each other.

Speaker 7 (31:37):
You're having Roman candle battles for sure.

Speaker 3 (31:39):
Oh not me. I'm Black. We don't do that. I'm
not picking up I'm not picking up a Roman capital.
I'm not doing that. I'm not I like my hands
where they are. I'm not having that happen to me.

Speaker 2 (31:50):
Those guys teeth.

Speaker 7 (31:51):
It was a fireworks.

Speaker 4 (31:55):
I love it.

Speaker 2 (31:56):
It was.

Speaker 3 (31:56):
Oh yeah, but that was my first with a fireworks
stand in one summer, and then the NXT one I had.
I think I worked at a telemarketing agency for for
mother to guest drunk drivering. That's the real thing I did.
What I worked at a tele marketing place where they

(32:17):
took in donations for mother to gefst drunk drivers.

Speaker 2 (32:20):
Okay, so like this is like the least I get this,
And I understand that like charity need back in the
day especially, they had to call to make charity, to
get charity to work, to get donations and things. Right now,
I'm assuming that's what you're doing. You were cold calling
for solicitations, right, yep?

Speaker 3 (32:35):
Exactly did you?

Speaker 2 (32:37):
And like mad is one of those things that like
no one can literally be upset about They're like, we
just don't want our kids to die. I'm assuming you
had to deal with some of the biggest assholes.

Speaker 3 (32:47):
Oh my god. Some of those people was like, mother,
get drunk drivers? What about fathers a gift? Fuck you?
That's what I remember, father give fuck you. And it
wasn't just one person. Several people said that to me.
That's like in the same day, not like in the
same day, but over the course of the year, I
heard that like at least fifteen times. I'm like, where

(33:09):
they get this.

Speaker 2 (33:10):
It's a group.

Speaker 3 (33:13):
No. But guy was like, no, I like drinking and drive.
I'm doing it right now. Oh my lawn mower and
I'm like what, it's like.

Speaker 2 (33:20):
Yeah, cortless phone on the lawn boarder.

Speaker 3 (33:22):
He did. He did. He was like, yeah, why you
call me, I'm the staging the phone. I'm on the
tractor right now drinking and I'm like what dump Man
magazine and.

Speaker 2 (33:32):
P I'm a proud number of FA Food.

Speaker 3 (33:40):
It was a horrible job. It was so stressful because
they tried to make you have quotas, so you know,
you had to go in there on a two. All right, mo,
I need you to make six hundred dollars today and
you're calling these people for like four hours and you're
on the you're on the phone averages like five minutes
with each one and trying to get them to donate money.

(34:01):
And there it was always bad when you get the older,
old people.

Speaker 6 (34:05):
Oh, you're gonna be on the phone for a long time.

Speaker 2 (34:08):
Oh, you're the closest to human contact they've had for years.

Speaker 3 (34:12):
Yes. And then okay, So, which this is gonna sound
bad what I'm about to say, because uh, you know
the term code switching, you know term coade switching. Uh
So I did not sound like your average black dude
on the phone. So do you know how much accidental

(34:35):
racism I encountered on little fucking phone call? Oh my gosh,
I'm not accidental on them doing it. They they were
not accidental on the racing, but it wasn't full. They
were like, hey, hold on right now, there's a nigger
at my door. I'll be right back.

Speaker 4 (34:56):
There's one on your phone too. There's one on your phone.
You don't even know.

Speaker 3 (35:01):
I did not say that.

Speaker 2 (35:03):
He's like, listen, I I don't agree with your ideology,
but I need that six hundred dollars.

Speaker 3 (35:09):
This time, I was like, what happened?

Speaker 2 (35:12):
And like, I'm mad they moved into my neighborhood.

Speaker 4 (35:18):
You we're only helping white moms.

Speaker 3 (35:23):
Oh my god. And because all the calls are listening
to you can't really go crazy old people because oh
it's so much. So every when it would happen, Boss
would immediately run down to you, like, calm down, it's
gonna be okay, And I'm like, I'm cool. I understand
the day. I don't care what I get my full
fIF I mean fullfin't sick. I don't care what he's in.

(35:45):
I need this much.

Speaker 2 (35:46):
Yeah, they tried to calm you down. I'm like, I
don't care. I need my monthly bonus I do.

Speaker 3 (35:51):
Y'all don't pay me any of his bullshit.

Speaker 6 (35:53):
When they come back to the phone, I'm just gonna
start singing shaft.

Speaker 4 (35:59):
I don't get it.

Speaker 3 (36:01):
Oh no, no, no.

Speaker 2 (36:03):
A lot of those men were okay with blaxploitation. I have.

Speaker 7 (36:05):
I just have a weird feeling.

Speaker 3 (36:07):
Jesus crash hilarious.

Speaker 2 (36:09):
Just they love Billy D. Williams.

Speaker 7 (36:13):
Okay, I love Billy D.

Speaker 3 (36:14):
Williams.

Speaker 7 (36:15):
It is especially when he was selling.

Speaker 3 (36:19):
My God, that was a horrible Table of Life. Oh God,
I think, I think for I think for a while,
Soul Train only had Colt forty five commercials.

Speaker 2 (36:31):
And now for our Colt forty five break time, it
works every time.

Speaker 3 (36:37):
I'm not kid because they were the billiy D Billy
D Williams commercial and then there was the the Big
Dude h I can't think of the day crap was
right on tired. Uh uh soul singer Deep Voice, very White,
very white, very white forty five commercials. Yeah, very white
did what he did at least to whoa.

Speaker 2 (36:59):
Nothing makes me feel you like some cold food.

Speaker 7 (37:03):
You're pretty close to it.

Speaker 3 (37:03):
Again, you are really good at this. You know that, right,
You're really good and gets it the stupidity of the
human rights.

Speaker 7 (37:08):
I really appreciate that, Barender for over twenty years.

Speaker 2 (37:10):
When you got okay, sorry, we're talking about Vietnam. This
is your Vietnam. Yeah, possibly you're gonna lock the kids
in the classroom for this one, you know, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (37:25):
That's yeah. Seriously though, that that was a traumatic job.
I hated that job because every week you're we can
fire tomorrow. There were seriously like with like, uh, prisoners,
I could kill you tomorrow. Maybe the whole every day
you can get fired. I hate that place. And I finally,
like Quentin did something else? What did I do after that?
I think after that I went to That's what after

(37:47):
that was the first, and then I went to Blockbuster
after who.

Speaker 2 (37:49):
Was a Blockbuster was delightful? You're like, listen, I can
start threatening to start peep. I got fired from my
last job, or threatening to start someone on fire. Okay, like.

Speaker 3 (37:59):
Blockbuster Like, okay, cool, as long as.

Speaker 7 (38:01):
It's children in the video game section.

Speaker 2 (38:03):
Okay.

Speaker 6 (38:03):
I'm the research and development on the show. And so
I was googling a Verry White Cold forty five commercial
and yeah, Barry White also did voiceovers for Arby's restaurant commercials.

Speaker 4 (38:16):
Yeah on TV and radio.

Speaker 6 (38:17):
Yes, yes he did, promoting their market fresh menu.

Speaker 4 (38:22):
I cannot but wait, I'd like it. That's I gotta
go back now and listen and go holy shit, that
is Verry White.

Speaker 3 (38:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:30):
It's nothing that makes me feel as good as eating
the Reuben sandwich from a.

Speaker 4 (38:36):
Market fresh Arby's. Get the fuck out of here Berry.

Speaker 2 (38:39):
Yeah, I love how we keep going back to Barry
White between this and the Shaft theme song. Well, no, Shaft, Hey,
that's right, that's right, right, Yeah, Oh sorry, sorry I
mixed up my my nineteen seventy soul singers.

Speaker 3 (38:51):
Oh wow, okay, okay.

Speaker 7 (38:54):
It's okay.

Speaker 2 (38:55):
I was still still probably better than suffly heard on
the phone when you were trying to get people.

Speaker 3 (39:00):
Dude, it was it was so it was just hilarious
and I just sat there and I'm like, okay, yeah,
do you want to get to the door.

Speaker 4 (39:08):
I'll be here.

Speaker 3 (39:08):
When I said I had that was that was a
real one. And hold on other nagger my door. I'll
be right back. That that was a real one that
really happened. I'm not even kidding. There's no exaggeration of that.

Speaker 6 (39:19):
That's when you were glad that you were just at
the on the phone. Imagine him trying to code switch
in real life.

Speaker 4 (39:25):
Yeah, I'm not black.

Speaker 3 (39:30):
No, ma'am. Yes, ma'am, yes, ma'am, thank you, But I
have a video phone technology.

Speaker 4 (39:37):
And that's I just I tanned really hard. I just
got back from maz Line, extremely tanned.

Speaker 3 (39:47):
Yell us over to the ridiculous. I love this show, so.

Speaker 2 (39:50):
You like So then that was that was the one
that you remember the most, though, it was like Thursday
n word at the door.

Speaker 3 (39:56):
That's the one. Yes, that's the one that if I
I mean, I don't tell that sterial stage ever, but
death the one if I did, that would be the
WAYA hold on a nigger at my door, hold on
the right back, hold on.

Speaker 7 (40:04):
That's what was the voice I was picturing in.

Speaker 3 (40:09):
Exactly. That's that. That's the real interpretation of what he did.
Hold on, I got a nigga on the door. I'm
right back. What the hell you got my body like that?

Speaker 4 (40:17):
It was another like they're just making a mistake in
my house.

Speaker 3 (40:24):
What the deal I figured with the mail man? If
I want to be honest, I really do figure with
the mail man.

Speaker 4 (40:30):
Oh, I'd hate to be a black mailman in a
racist town.

Speaker 3 (40:34):
If yes, you would.

Speaker 4 (40:36):
That just does not sound.

Speaker 3 (40:37):
Fun, not at all.

Speaker 4 (40:40):
You got all your terrible fingerprints on my mail, touching
my mail.

Speaker 3 (40:47):
Hey, hey, mister, sorry there, white rocking New Clan rob.

Speaker 4 (40:51):
Here you go, n word postman.

Speaker 2 (40:56):
To be fair, you could say what you want about him,
but he made sure all of the mail was delivered
before it's undown.

Speaker 4 (41:05):
I gotta get this truck back.

Speaker 2 (41:09):
I gotta get home myself On that one, that's a
self dang self.

Speaker 3 (41:14):
Oh dear God, that's thumb Downtown joke number two.

Speaker 7 (41:21):
If we get a third one we went a free prize,
we can still find one.

Speaker 2 (41:31):
I saw one.

Speaker 3 (41:32):
I saw where we were in Michigan. I didn't play.
I was in Michigan two weeks ago and I saw
will Know. I'm like, what the hell? Who did not
see the rat commercial?

Speaker 4 (41:44):
We gotta all right, we gotta stop and try this.
I need to see if it's still the same.

Speaker 3 (41:50):
I can't after that rat commercial.

Speaker 7 (41:52):
After that, I'm out.

Speaker 3 (41:55):
It wasn't even the rats. I was just like, what's
what's throwing your marketing people that told you this is
a good idea. You're gonna have two blurry rats on
the on the screen with Google ads and a hat
saying about how much you love your What is wrong?
Who did the crack and acid? At the same time?

Speaker 6 (42:12):
But at the same time, we're still talking about that
commercial thirty years later.

Speaker 3 (42:16):
Because there's a couple of things on the planet gives
me nightmares, the Hobbit cartoon from when I older kid
and the commercial. That commercial scared the crap out of Equizosie.
It's so wrong. That is crazy.

Speaker 2 (42:35):
I don't know anyway, So after how about like something
after FedEx? Is any other jobs before you became a
full time comedian the.

Speaker 3 (42:46):
Well somewhere, there's some there's sometime that overlaps and I'm
not sure what I think it was. Right after I
quit FedEx and coun I quick fit, I was going
full tap. I was like, I can't stand these people,
I can't do this before and I quit there and
I think I was working at my friend's store. I

(43:09):
kept tracking the tablins right here. No, it wasn't the
port door. It was kind of like it was a
store called Pussing Boots.

Speaker 7 (43:17):
I mean that would be.

Speaker 3 (43:20):
But no, it was like hot topic before hot topic existed. Whoa,
but better because they had high end Betty Johnson dresses,
real vinylin leather cat suits, all the stuff that's like
the kids can't afford for hot topic. They had it.
We had it in the store there.

Speaker 7 (43:38):
Jack Skellington's were knitted into those things. That was full on.
That wasn't iron iye, we had something that there too.

Speaker 2 (43:47):
We had.

Speaker 3 (43:50):
It was this was like a This was like a Gos.
This was like a Gos clothing store and not like
it not like the It wasn't like hot topic. We
had some shirts and stuff like that, but we had
lots of vital and leather.

Speaker 2 (44:02):
About to say that sounds like these people are gonna
end up at a con party.

Speaker 3 (44:06):
Later a lot of them did, and I said, I
have these friends. I've been around it for a while.
Those are some of my friends.

Speaker 2 (44:14):
So, yeah, lots of riding crops. For some reason, even
though we weren't a horse store, I don't understand.

Speaker 3 (44:20):
You been there, because we did have riding crops. We
had this store mode I did. I did not say
it was not did not have BDS and equipment in there.
It had that. We had spreader bars, we had Yeah,

(44:45):
we had all We had all that stuff. We didn't
have all the stuff, but if you really needed we
could get it for you. We knew a guy. In fact,
let me about I'm about to do that.

Speaker 7 (44:57):
We do a game of the stores. We know a
guy you know, Yes, we know that.

Speaker 2 (45:01):
That would be a great name.

Speaker 3 (45:03):
In fact, let me tell you a story we used
to put on. They used to have goth dykes and
we would put on bunded shows there. And one of
the guys who was in our little group of people
was a carpenter. So he made one of those. You know,
I don't know how cross better better than a regular

(45:24):
say Andrew Cross. He did this thing to where it
would unlock, flip on his back, and the mechanism.

Speaker 2 (45:33):
You could spin it. You could spin the person on
the yes with someone throwing knives at the person who
was strapped down.

Speaker 3 (45:41):
He wasn't. He wasn't, he wasn't still standing up. It
had flattened on his back. So he's hovering on the
table like a doctor in an exposition, and then he
takes a little thing that he's grinding at the top
and just spins him around. Yes, that's a yes, he
made that.

Speaker 4 (45:58):
I didn't even know that.

Speaker 2 (46:00):
But say if it landed on the right number, they
won a prize.

Speaker 3 (46:03):
Exactly. It was kicking roulette. That's exactly what was going on.

Speaker 4 (46:07):
I didn't know that Dizzy was a fetish.

Speaker 3 (46:10):
Oh it yeah, that can't be a fetish.

Speaker 6 (46:13):
It's what is the Uh, it's every It's like a
section in the store where they just baseball bats and
everybody's doing.

Speaker 10 (46:23):
Chinese fire drills. Oh, you're here for the Disney fetish ship. Yeah,
oh Jesus, trust.

Speaker 2 (46:38):
You just gonna spin yourself around to get to that section.

Speaker 3 (46:40):
You know what I mean, Oh my god, that's the
real thing. No, he made he made that saying it
was the coolest one I've ever seen. It was the
coolest one I've ever seen anywhere because it's fun, and
I'm like, okay, yeah it was.

Speaker 7 (46:53):
It was weird that when it spun you hear d
D D D.

Speaker 3 (47:01):
Because you were hold on, Shannon, you were there. That
was the night. That was the night Greg, Greg was
on that thing and you and me were just standing
on the side of the stage like all right, cool, yeah, yeah,
all right.

Speaker 7 (47:14):
I just love that you have you have someone there
to confirm.

Speaker 3 (47:19):
I'm making this up. My part, my main partner. She
she's I'm known for a very low tab and at
that point she was hanging out with me back then,
and yeah she was. Yeah, she saw all the crazy,
she saw all the stupid ship, she saw all the
stupid stuff. This is really a fun podcast, gun.

Speaker 2 (47:39):
I like, this.

Speaker 3 (47:41):
Is howesly my favorite podcast. I've done it quite a while.

Speaker 2 (47:44):
Screw that, screw that, uh that crime And I'm not
you're not gonna get this on a true crime podcast. Okay,
if you get this on a true crime podcast, it's
gonna have a very different result.

Speaker 3 (47:54):
Exactly, absolutely true. All right, sorry, go ahead, I'm so sorry.
Our finishes with it.

Speaker 2 (48:00):
And then he came like that's it, that's all sh
So what was the clientele like at this place? I'm
just curious to.

Speaker 3 (48:09):
The people. I'll put the boot. Oh everybody from seriously,
I'm just no exaggeration. Everything from sixteen year old Catholic
schoolgirl kids coming in and stuff, all the way up
to sixty year old women with really cool nipple piercing
that decided to show us everything. Uh yeah, I mean seriously,
everybody came through there. When they filmed The People versus

(48:31):
Larry Flint, Courtney Love was hanging out there for a
couple of days.

Speaker 7 (48:36):
Character. Huh she had to get into character.

Speaker 3 (48:40):
Oh she was already character. She was she was the
best and she.

Speaker 7 (48:47):
Had a double impact. But that happened in Washington.

Speaker 6 (48:51):
Please tell me that when you were working at this store,
those toothless twins didn't come in.

Speaker 2 (48:55):
Oh like, no, I want to refund.

Speaker 3 (49:01):
That's hilarious. This lace shirt has holes in it.

Speaker 6 (49:08):
I don't like it, sir.

Speaker 3 (49:14):
Can I tell you?

Speaker 6 (49:14):
Can?

Speaker 3 (49:15):
I tell you? Should? I tell that stereo the show
Friends don't let friends, so I have no it's that permission.
It's this has nothing to do this show. But we're
talking about this right now. Okay. So there's a company

(49:38):
called International Mail. I don't know if you know it,
but they say weird gay kind of clothing something. All right.
There was one in Memphis that was a different version
of kind of same thing called US Mail. Okay, I know,
I know, I didn't do it. And one of my
best friends, the same guy who was only across that
night spinning. Uh he uh, he went in the US

(50:02):
Mail one time. And I can tell you what year
this was. It was the year, right said, Fred came
out and saying I'm too sexy because that's all he
played while getting dressed, because he's like a precy boy.
He wanted to get dress. No, when we went to
Dallas to see his brother, he brought an entire bag,
just the shoes and he was straight mostly and uh

(50:23):
wa me down there. You get to play with a
trans girl, all right. So one time, uh, he went
there and we were going to the club that night
and he came back to the house. He's like, I'm
only look sexy at night and looking and he walked
into the room and he's gone for like an hour
playing right, said Fred, I'm too sexy, over and over again.
This boy comes out of his room in a wrestling unitard,

(50:46):
a twill jacket, a biker hat, and Doc Martin creeper shoes.

Speaker 4 (50:52):
Holy, that is quite the ya.

Speaker 3 (50:54):
Hold on, hold on, I'm not done yet. When I
say it was a wrestling unitary, it was a a
knit mesh unitard. What yes, Yes, it was like someone
knitted a un tar together and put that out for
people to buy.

Speaker 2 (51:14):
So he was like a he was like a a
kinky rick Steiner.

Speaker 3 (51:24):
Kinky rick Steiner. Also meeting uh the dude from friends
in the twelve jacket. Okay, So we tried to tell
him not to wear this out in public. He was like, no,
y'all don't know fashion. I look good and it's the
girl he did. He and the girl he was with
was not helping the situation. She's like, oh, baby, you

(51:45):
look great. You know your packet looked great. That not
the great thing, oh your maybe. I'm like, she's stupid.
You know, she's stupid. That's why she She's every other Amy,
not the regular Amy. It's a different Amy. Okay, it's
a different girl. Anyway, we go to the club that night,
and it's the club we went to was like fifty
to fifty half gay, half straight, half out of your
dead man. And they started playing music and he's out

(52:06):
there dancing, and he's dancing and then the girl, the
girl he's with it on top of him, and then
she'd go to the bar to get a drink and
he's still dancing, and every gay man in the in
the whole club came up to him and started rubbing
over him. And he came back, was like, hey, I
gotta leave. I'm getting kind of wrong kind of attention
to that. I told you friends do not let friends

(52:27):
wear us male now what. He had to go home
and change clothes completely, yes, and came back like a
my friend, the stupid I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (52:39):
And then he showed up in assless chaps and he's like,
what the fuck, don't even joke.

Speaker 3 (52:43):
That was a different night. That was a different night, sir.

Speaker 6 (52:48):
I love people that, uh that make their own assless
chaps where it's like I'm not buying it like that,
I'm just taking an old pair of jeans and cutting
an asshole.

Speaker 3 (52:58):
Yeah, I did that I would if Prince fifty years later.
One time and I had on my long, my long
London fog trench coat, I cut the ass of my pasts.
I have a sweatpansts that the real tight sweat pansts.
I cut the ass out of them. And I had
on my little, my little Versati boots and I would
spin around and you see my ass open up and

(53:20):
like a good yes that picture you know Facebook right
now still to this day.

Speaker 2 (53:29):
Well you know you were it was that or we
had to wear a raspberry beret. All right, some pussy
control right there. Thank you, thank you, thank you for
the Prince reverence. This is a Miniesota podcast. If we
don't make three per episode, we lose. It's Prince or

(53:51):
Jesse Venture. Those are our only two that were allowed
to talk.

Speaker 3 (53:55):
Yeah, that's cool, okay.

Speaker 2 (53:57):
Venture is like I also wore a wrestling onesie to
gay bar once once that night I melted those men
like thermc paint.

Speaker 7 (54:10):
Ah ship. I mean, I guess we've been called worse.

Speaker 3 (54:17):
I'm just like you just say it, thermite paint Oh Jesus. Okay.

Speaker 2 (54:22):
Anyway, well, is there any other stories from your your
your working days that that kind of come to mind.

Speaker 3 (54:27):
Oh work, No, that's it. Those are my jobs. That's
what I did.

Speaker 2 (54:31):
It's okay that that's that, you know what. That's that's
fine because we got to move on to the next section.
Before we do, though, we always like to ask our
guests try again, MoMA, Alexander, how would you define a Karen?

Speaker 3 (54:47):
Uh? Karen's can be of any I got a woman
mad at me cause I called her Karen because she's
said out and making a racial slurm I calling her Karen,
And I was like, ma'am, a caring could be any
racial making white, black, Asian? Could anybody be a Carrien?

Speaker 2 (55:06):
Now?

Speaker 3 (55:06):
If I called you Becky, that would have been a
racial flur.

Speaker 7 (55:11):
Or Susan.

Speaker 3 (55:13):
Susan man, not a racial flur. That's just boring white.
That's where I was this weekended and and but was
it Blaking Ridge and Baking Ridge, Breaking Ridge, Colorado? There
were lots of Susans at that show.

Speaker 6 (55:25):
Boring whites.

Speaker 3 (55:27):
Yeah, yeah, very white people. I mean I think that's
where they breed white people in Breaking Ridge, Colorado. Those
were the whitest of the whites.

Speaker 6 (55:38):
I was.

Speaker 3 (55:38):
I didn't think the town was real, Joe. I'm not kidding.
I'm not gonna lie to you. Yes, I was high
out of my mind just because I don't like going
to mountains. And that's how I had to get up
the mountains because I don't like mountains. So they got
me high and I was okay and I didn't freak out.
But then I'm just looking at it in town and
it looks like a Hallmark Uh, it's like a Hallmark

(56:02):
movie set. I kept blaming, like, I gotta get out
here because Tim Burton is gonna start filming at any
moment in this place. It's just it just doesn't look
like it looks like a set from a Tim Burton movie. Honestly, Okay,
it was just it was because everything looked like it
was like like a Norwegian a building, the way they

(56:22):
angle off their buildings slightly we you know, out of
the square. It was like a half angle. It's weird.
And all the buildings look like that. And I'm like,
did the Russians move here in the fifties to make
us By town and never left? What is it with
you white people?

Speaker 7 (56:35):
That was actually the town from the original Red Dawn.

Speaker 3 (56:38):
I don't even doubt. I don't even inflat it's weird, man.

Speaker 2 (56:43):
I liked it.

Speaker 3 (56:43):
I kept telling them we canna bring more black people
in there. Can go get to rename it black and
Ridge zero black people zero.

Speaker 2 (56:54):
We again, we don't just exist on this podcast to
talk about BDSM stories and all of that. We also
exist to battle the scourge that is known as Karen's.
So each and every week we find different Google reviews,
Yelp reviews, Facebook reviews, sometimes their tweets or handwritten notes,
and it's a segment we call the Karen of the Week.

Speaker 6 (57:14):
K I'm your boss.

Speaker 8 (57:16):
Oh my god, Oh my god, Karen, Oh my god, Karen.

Speaker 3 (57:42):
Alrighty that love it?

Speaker 7 (57:47):
So a one star review.

Speaker 2 (57:50):
Sometimes if you if you're if you're just looking at
it tangentially, you just happen to look at it and
you're like, oh yeah, that would definitely be a one
star review, right, mm hmm. Finding something in your food
death worth a one star review? Correct, mm hmm. Well,
this week just we're gonna go with it and it's
this week's Caring of the Week. It's a one star review.
Ordered a waffle to find a figure, nail and a

(58:12):
hair on my food. Absolutely shocking customer service. As I
was told I would have to wait another hour to
get a fresh one. I asked for a refund and
never received one. Wouldn't send my worst enemy here.

Speaker 3 (58:30):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (58:31):
Yeah, the hair, that's one thing. The fucking fingernail you're
clipping in the kitchen.

Speaker 3 (58:38):
Well, you know, will you flopping a will you flip
flop in a waffle? Sometimes? You know, and nail to
just pop off.

Speaker 6 (58:47):
You go on a cigarette break and clip your nails
by the dumpster. That's the respectful place to clip your nails.

Speaker 3 (58:53):
No do they clipping and nail neither fake nail. They
just pop off with you. Sometimes you just got to
pop off and shouting him a Hey, my name is
Billy Alexander. And it's been seventeen days since I heard.

Speaker 2 (59:06):
Not like us you know. Actually that's uh, that's longer
than I have.

Speaker 7 (59:12):
So there you go.

Speaker 3 (59:13):
Yeah, yeah, for like for a year, for like over
a year of like thirteen ten today, and then I
heard if you're.

Speaker 6 (59:22):
Going into the Breckenridge Gap, you'll definitely hear it. They
had the Breckenridge has more gaps per capita to.

Speaker 3 (59:32):
Joe.

Speaker 2 (59:33):
They put that on when Moe walked into the gap.

Speaker 3 (59:36):
You think they let me in the gap. Okay, can
I tell you. I know I notice in your show
and I'm sorry I keep saying other weird ship, but
I can tell you this. We were in Yes, I
told you. I was high held in the car on
the trip up there. But we're trying to find out
that you know the demographics of the group. And there's
four thousand, four hundred people who live in this town. Okay,

(59:58):
the eight percent of them were white. Yeah, so I'm like, Okay,
maybe there's three black people there. Maybe at this he's
going nope, let me give you the rest of at
one point two percent? Uh, Native Americans, Hispanics. What did
you say?

Speaker 2 (01:00:15):
What it was?

Speaker 4 (01:00:15):
What was Chinese?

Speaker 3 (01:00:17):
Indian and Chinese?

Speaker 2 (01:00:19):
All the restaurants that were in town.

Speaker 3 (01:00:21):
I'm like, you're not lying, You're not lying, You're not lying.
You should have been counting Tesla. They were everywhere I saw.
I saw one. It was like, seriously, there was where
was It was like the Sonic or something. There was
a Sonic in this town that had the most Tesla

(01:00:42):
recharger things I've ever seen. It was like forty of them.

Speaker 2 (01:00:45):
Oh so you went to parks to do like the
car hop and then they actually you could charge it
while you're at the car hops.

Speaker 3 (01:00:50):
You could do that.

Speaker 4 (01:00:51):
That's so weird.

Speaker 3 (01:00:53):
It's weird.

Speaker 4 (01:00:54):
I need I need more sonic if I had an
electric car.

Speaker 2 (01:01:00):
So, so the pope popping off the nails thing back
to the wall, I just there's there's a point to
the one the careen that I picked for this week.

Speaker 3 (01:01:08):
Okay, so and a point with her nail.

Speaker 2 (01:01:11):
Yes, it was. It was a finger pointing. Uh you
know when you point one finger it's for nails putting
back at you. Uh No. So normally I would have
probably just ignored this as a caring because I would
have been like, well, like, yeah, maybe maybe it was
a little bit of a misunderstanding there was this sounds
like actually, I would not have picked this as a
review to do for the podcast, except Joe knows where

(01:01:33):
this is going.

Speaker 4 (01:01:34):
There's a clapback.

Speaker 2 (01:01:35):
Yes, there's this new thing that Yelp and and Google
review and everything where the owners can respond and most
of the times like we're so sorry that you had
a bad experience with you. Yeah, but now the owners
are clapping back. Yeah, And this is the clap back
of the week. So this is in response to the
fingernail and hair and the waffle. Response from the owner,

(01:01:59):
Our restaurant is not open yet, so this is impossible.
We open on May twelfth, just in case anyone thinks
this is remotely true.

Speaker 4 (01:02:11):
Holy shit, Oh my god, was this just another restaurant
in town trolling this restaurant.

Speaker 2 (01:02:18):
Mate that that would actually make more sense.

Speaker 3 (01:02:21):
This is that's a bananas does the restaurant do not
open yet? Even are they gonna sail waffles?

Speaker 7 (01:02:29):
This is a Chinese restaurant, sir, I don't know what
you're doing.

Speaker 3 (01:02:35):
Oh my god, Oh my god, that's fucking funny.

Speaker 2 (01:02:40):
Right, And we love this, by the way, we absolutely
adore when we can find these clapbacks, because this is
what we've been talking about this for a while. We
need customer yelp where we can, like as the business owners,
the business people whatever, even as performers and shit, we
should be able like no, Becky, no, no, don't don't
let her into your show.

Speaker 7 (01:03:00):
Yes, she's see you next tuesday. We don't want her around.

Speaker 3 (01:03:03):
I understand. I complete.

Speaker 6 (01:03:04):
I guess it, because it used to just be your
picture got put up on the wall in the back room,
like don't let these people come back here.

Speaker 4 (01:03:14):
We need the Internet wall.

Speaker 3 (01:03:17):
Okay, I'm gonna tell I'm gonna tell you when it's
fun Okay. The comedy Fort in Fort Collins, Colorado. Okay,
if you review him with some bullshit, he will clap
back and the owner in the comic, so it is funny.

Speaker 7 (01:03:36):
Okay, Now we're gonna have to look that up later.

Speaker 3 (01:03:38):
You need to look those up for later, because he's
David Rodriguez is very funny. He'll be like, he goes
off on those people who try to leave the shitty review.

Speaker 2 (01:03:46):
He gets off.

Speaker 3 (01:03:46):
It's funny, that's so funny.

Speaker 2 (01:03:50):
Well, much like reviewing a restaurant and complaining about a
restaurant that's not even open yet, sometimes we have to
ask ourselves, gee, why did it fail?

Speaker 4 (01:04:01):
Everything? Everything was right away.

Speaker 6 (01:04:03):
I thought I was here to stay.

Speaker 2 (01:04:07):
I thought I'm here today.

Speaker 3 (01:04:09):
Now I have to figure out, what do you?

Speaker 6 (01:04:11):
Why did it?

Speaker 3 (01:04:16):
Usually the answer to why they have failed was a
word cocaine.

Speaker 2 (01:04:25):
Maybe it's also why things succeeded. I mean, the movie
Twins is perfect.

Speaker 3 (01:04:28):
Example of it.

Speaker 4 (01:04:31):
Danny, look how long my name is?

Speaker 3 (01:04:33):
I love that story.

Speaker 6 (01:04:34):
The Cocaine Party. Yeah, all the names were written out
in cocaine.

Speaker 2 (01:04:41):
This is a segment we do every week MO where
we look at different restaurants, we look at different retail establishments,
we look at menu items, and as we've kind of
gone into this more of this video medium and we're
able to look at like commercials and things, and sometimes
this one I picked for specifically because it's one of
those ooh that was really bad timing, Gee, why did

(01:05:02):
it fail? A good example of this was when they
started dropping the bombs, when Russia started dropping the bombs
in Ukraine. Uh, right as it was happening, CNN had
like they'd pop out where they could still do a
commercial but show what was going on. And they're like
and they started playing like cold beer around the front
and as you're watching and there's like a guy dancing

(01:05:23):
next to people being bombed in the That was a
real thing. Oh well that this We already did that one.
But this is kind of the same vein of like, whoever,
I we really hope I don't want to say I
hope someone got fired over this, but I kind of
hope someone got fired over this.

Speaker 7 (01:05:40):
Okay, this is going to be a clip.

Speaker 2 (01:05:43):
It starts with a clip from Bob's Burgers, which is
one of my favorites. I absolutely adore Bob's burgers. Oh,
I love marshmallow.

Speaker 3 (01:05:51):
Yes, Bob Bob from Marth Millow.

Speaker 2 (01:05:58):
He's like, oh, hey, yeah, Bob is like your friend
who didn't who's like he's straight mostly.

Speaker 3 (01:06:06):
Yeah, mostly mostly yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:06:08):
So I'm just gonna let this play out and it's
gonna be uh this week's bee? Why did it fail?

Speaker 3 (01:06:14):
Okay, there's a lot of numbers are divisible by three?

Speaker 4 (01:06:20):
Well, anniversary human flesh?

Speaker 2 (01:06:24):
Wait, wait, wait, wait, this is one of our biggest weekends.

Speaker 3 (01:06:27):
You can't put that up.

Speaker 6 (01:06:28):
Nobody will eat here prominently displayed.

Speaker 3 (01:06:31):
Well, then just do your test, pal because it's beef.

Speaker 4 (01:06:33):
Sorry, the lab's closed till Monday.

Speaker 3 (01:06:35):
You'll get your test results.

Speaker 4 (01:06:37):
Then consider yourself how conspect I try it.

Speaker 3 (01:06:44):
There's no way.

Speaker 11 (01:06:48):
There's been a lot of talk about our season beef,
but here's the truth.

Speaker 3 (01:06:51):
Here's the real deal. More Season b is eighty.

Speaker 2 (01:06:54):
Eight percent premium brown beef and twelve percent signature recupe.

Speaker 3 (01:06:58):
If you want to see that thing recipe, it's right here.
What if you want Wait, okay, that's only ninety two percent.
What's the other eight.

Speaker 7 (01:07:09):
It's probably human flesh?

Speaker 3 (01:07:12):
No, seriously, that's I don't say eighty percent premium beef,
twelve percent secret recipe? Where's the other eight percent?

Speaker 6 (01:07:23):
And then what is the secret recipe that you have
to put so much in your time?

Speaker 4 (01:07:28):
Twelve percent of your secret recipe?

Speaker 2 (01:07:30):
In listen, it's it's it's a it's a proprietary mix
of seasonings, spices and ground up comes.

Speaker 3 (01:07:38):
And human flesh. And this wouldn't be this wouldn't be
located near any of those national parks when people go
missing in it.

Speaker 6 (01:07:48):
Well, now more people are gonna go missing in those
national parks because where we lost a bunch of park rangers.

Speaker 3 (01:07:54):
Yeah, yeah, that all these wild bigfoots that would come
out and just trying to rape.

Speaker 6 (01:08:00):
It's a great place to murder somebody.

Speaker 3 (01:08:03):
M Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:08:04):
You know what's crazy is there is a part of
an I forget which national park. It's up in the
Pacific north in Pacific Northwest.

Speaker 7 (01:08:09):
It's like it's like that.

Speaker 2 (01:08:10):
Montana, Idaho, Wyoming area where because of where this thing
is that you can't be tried for murder if you
kill someone in like a specific spot because it kind
of belongs to all three states.

Speaker 3 (01:08:24):
A real thing, it's a real thing. He's not making
that up and you thought this wasn't.

Speaker 7 (01:08:29):
Going to be a murder podcast.

Speaker 3 (01:08:31):
No, but I do.

Speaker 2 (01:08:32):
I do love that, Like, okay, the juxtaposition it's Bombsbergers
and they're like, oh, there's the rumor that it's the
it's the pilot episode where there's you know, the idea
of human flesh and then the first thing that there's
been a lot of talk what's in our ground beef
with quotation marks.

Speaker 4 (01:08:46):
Yeah, they did do a lot of quotation marks.

Speaker 3 (01:08:49):
Yeah, that was a real thing.

Speaker 7 (01:08:52):
Yeah, that was a real commercial. Oh my god, that.

Speaker 2 (01:08:57):
I try it.

Speaker 3 (01:09:01):
Now. I don't know if you know this because I
am I am a super nerd.

Speaker 7 (01:09:05):
Just the quotations right after it.

Speaker 3 (01:09:09):
Yes, that's so, that's the weird. I don't know if
you know this, but it's just I'm a super nerd
of cartoons. The original concept of Bob Berger was they
were going to be cannibals. Yes, Bob, people don't know that.

Speaker 7 (01:09:24):
But I was like a boy as well.

Speaker 3 (01:09:26):
Yes, yes, I love that show.

Speaker 2 (01:09:28):
Oh it's it's it's my comfort show.

Speaker 3 (01:09:31):
Have you ever have you ever heard the episode? They
don't Okay, Bob Berger has a soundtrack album. Okay, but
the best song is not only there, and it's at
the end of one episode where what's his name Benny
is singing a Natalie Merchant what call?

Speaker 6 (01:09:52):
He's singing Wonder, He's singing.

Speaker 3 (01:09:54):
Wonder, He's singing wonder. Yes, it's not on the album
and it's only that like thirty second clip to Hill
doing it and I need that.

Speaker 7 (01:10:04):
Oh yeah it was Teddy was singing that.

Speaker 3 (01:10:06):
Yes, it is the best version of that film.

Speaker 7 (01:10:11):
Teddy Teddy the Handyman singing that. Yeah, yeah, I think I.

Speaker 4 (01:10:14):
Actually, just so you know, it's Yellowstone National Park.

Speaker 7 (01:10:18):
It's in Yellowstone.

Speaker 6 (01:10:20):
It's Wyoming, Idaho, and Montana, the three states which I
said in the Idaho portion, due to the way federal
court jurisdictions are drawn, a specific area within the park
in Idaho sometimes referred to as.

Speaker 4 (01:10:33):
The quote zone of death.

Speaker 3 (01:10:35):
Yep.

Speaker 4 (01:10:37):
But that then it goes on to say like what the.

Speaker 6 (01:10:39):
Loophole is, and it's like you couldn't you need to
have juries from each state and you'd never have like
Wyoming jury, and you need to have an Idaho jury.
But that since that part of Idaho is uninhabited, you
wouldn't be able to get a jury. So technically you would,
but it would just be the government coming in and
being like, we're gonna try you federally.

Speaker 4 (01:10:59):
Still like it's so it's not like murder is legal.

Speaker 2 (01:11:04):
It's just it's it's just one of those things where
it's like it's very hard to but you know what,
you know what the Taco Bell nearby they're like, listen,
we got this covered, all right.

Speaker 6 (01:11:13):
We got to get our eight percent from somewhere.

Speaker 3 (01:11:16):
That really bothers me because they only go up to
ninety two. She does not miss it eight percent at.

Speaker 4 (01:11:20):
Ll No, we didn't watch the end of the commercial.
Maybe they give us the other eight percent.

Speaker 3 (01:11:24):
Okay, let's watch it, Sue.

Speaker 11 (01:11:25):
Here's the real dal Our season d is eighty eight
percent premium brown beef.

Speaker 7 (01:11:30):
Eighty eight percent. Oh wait, he said eighty eight eighty
eight percent ground.

Speaker 4 (01:11:34):
Back, Oh I heard eighty eighty Yeah, okay, it's eighty eight.

Speaker 2 (01:11:38):
That's still twelve percent unaccounted for and twelve percent signature recipe.

Speaker 6 (01:11:43):
If you want to see that signature recipe, just go
and talk about dot com.

Speaker 3 (01:11:46):
It's right there.

Speaker 4 (01:11:47):
But if you want to know what it tastes like,
come to Taco Bell.

Speaker 1 (01:11:50):
And get a contract.

Speaker 2 (01:11:51):
Some pray for only eighty eight cents to such eighty
cents fifth week only.

Speaker 1 (01:11:56):
I'm gonna get one myself.

Speaker 2 (01:11:57):
People want to talk, let them talk about that made
with real beef.

Speaker 3 (01:12:03):
Wow, bother it bothers me. When you have a chill
people with real beef.

Speaker 6 (01:12:07):
Yeah, well I think it's real, guys.

Speaker 2 (01:12:09):
I think at the time that this came, this commercial
was starting to come out, there was like these there
was a news report I do remember it where they're
like they had done some testing and they found that
it wasn't one hundred percent beef. And there was of
course because we have the twelve percent. But like I remember,
there was a rumor back in the early two thousands
that they were using like insects, like ground insects and

(01:12:32):
turning it like into a pulpit. I mean, to be fair,
if you're a taco bell, are you really you're not
expecting you're not that?

Speaker 7 (01:12:41):
Yeah, okay, And.

Speaker 6 (01:12:42):
Twelve percent of the secreting flavorings that covers up all
the cockerroach.

Speaker 3 (01:12:48):
Yeah, hey, they're classic.

Speaker 2 (01:12:50):
They have beatles beans, sir, We're using crickets. We're not monsters, okay.
And this is why I get chicken. Talk about.

Speaker 6 (01:13:02):
Like they're not insecting up the chicken. Our chicken is
eighty eight percent chicken.

Speaker 2 (01:13:09):
Well fi, I mean special ingredients, special ingredients.

Speaker 3 (01:13:16):
At one point five a kid named Jilly.

Speaker 7 (01:13:20):
It's like he fell down in a park.

Speaker 3 (01:13:22):
In the special ingredients, we found him floating in a
in a guy through a yellowstone and uh, you know
he was already popped bold. So we just think go
ahead for Jilly.

Speaker 5 (01:13:34):
In our special ingredients, it's one percent pepper, one percent salt,
one percent paprika, and I don't know, like nine percent
little kids.

Speaker 3 (01:13:45):
Little kids, Yeah, joe yoo ingredients. Joe, I got to
tell you, I love you, dude. I gotta see the
fucking hormone muster I got. I got to see that's.

Speaker 4 (01:13:58):
Gonna be so I have a year to make it's costume.

Speaker 3 (01:14:00):
I swear, guy, it's could be so great. Just trust
me all this.

Speaker 7 (01:14:03):
Forget about this until a week before the con and.

Speaker 3 (01:14:06):
Exactly can't get some chaps over here.

Speaker 2 (01:14:12):
They don't make us us mail anymore.

Speaker 3 (01:14:16):
My friend, my friend Been would be it would be
yelling if he heard his podcast, he'd be yelling and
holding his fist up to whatever device he's lifting to
yelling all chaps are ass lifts. He does that, he.

Speaker 4 (01:14:32):
Chaps, Well, that's what chaps means in French.

Speaker 3 (01:14:38):
Hey can't talk about one temporary job I had, sure?
Oh yeah, so my friend being in a sad show
circuit performer. Whoa yeah, so he could throw we like
throw darts in his back and all that stuff. And
he's taught me a couple of things, like I could
do the nail in the nose and all that stuff.
I can do all that stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:14:56):
Right.

Speaker 3 (01:14:57):
So when I was after I got out of the
hospital for years ago, we did a performance together cause
we occasionally performed together, right, And we did it and
a Kicky bondage club. Yeah, it was a Kicky bondage club.
It was great. So We're doing this show and I'm
like an assistant in a wheelchair trying to throw darts
at him and stuff all kinds stuff. Was great, But

(01:15:17):
I'm also doing comedy. I did some comedy there, right.
So the next year we go back and the guy
who's in charge of the whole place, I'm not gonna
say his name because he's weird to me out because
when I first met him, I saw I first met him,
I'm like I know this guy has very bad World
War Two clothing in his closet is home made from leather.

(01:15:39):
I know he does. He's just that kind of guy. Yes, yes,
I'm not saying he is that kind of guy, but
he's that kind of guy who dressed up for Kinki stuff.
That's the kind of guy he is. And he came
up to me like, hey, mo, yes, could you tone
your show down a little bit? Last year a couple
of people were offended in some things you said. I
just looked at him, like, dude, they're the they're the

(01:16:02):
bathroom set right there where people can peeped upon, and
you're telling me my words offending some one, go fuck yourself.
I just walked away. I hobbled myself away and did
a work and did a more offensive show that time.

Speaker 6 (01:16:18):
Yes, that's that I don't think club owners understand is
when you say can you tone your show down?

Speaker 4 (01:16:24):
Our brains just go no. It's now it's all you
think of is your dirty jokes.

Speaker 3 (01:16:30):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I had I had a guy. I
had a guy a club in a Have you ever
heard the place called of Sunny is down in Florida.

Speaker 7 (01:16:38):
I have not been there.

Speaker 3 (01:16:40):
Okay, I don't work with them, so I can say this.
I hate those people so much, despise those people. I
don't care who know that hate them. And the first
time I did a show for them, the guy always like,
hey man, you did that R Kelly joke. And my
wife was kind of offended and could you this is

(01:17:00):
the owner and his wife who and she complain to him,
and he came to me, could you not do it?

Speaker 2 (01:17:05):
No?

Speaker 3 (01:17:06):
I cannot not do it because it's words, it's comedy.
I don't care if it offends you. That's why I'm here.

Speaker 7 (01:17:15):
Just just for you. We'll do a remix edition.

Speaker 2 (01:17:18):
Oh you know.

Speaker 3 (01:17:24):
You wouldn stood say, well, you told me not to
do something. I added four more jokes in there. I
did the whole R Kelly song. I believe she was twelve.
I did the whole song because I'm a horrible person
that right now.

Speaker 4 (01:17:39):
Are you offended owner's wife?

Speaker 6 (01:17:42):
I hope you are.

Speaker 4 (01:17:43):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:17:44):
Listen listen her favorite songs. I believe I Can Fly
And she just didn't realize that. She didn't realize the
second part of that song was with a guardian.

Speaker 3 (01:17:58):
Okay, that's hilarious.

Speaker 2 (01:17:59):
Sorry, I'll take it.

Speaker 7 (01:18:01):
I'll take it.

Speaker 2 (01:18:03):
This has been this has been a great episode. But
I think it's time to eighty six of the podcast.
But before we go, MO, we do have one last segment.
It's called human Yelp Reviews. That's where you, Alexander, you
get to review the podcast. You can either review the
podcast as a whole or Joe and myself individually. You
can use a five star metric or as many stars
as you like. Okay, whenever you want to start, all right.

Speaker 3 (01:18:25):
So let's get can wait? Do I give words to
the stars?

Speaker 7 (01:18:28):
Do you do the do whatever you feel?

Speaker 3 (01:18:30):
All right? So let me tell you this is one
of my both this is one of the dumbest podcasts
I've ever been owned, and I want to do it again.
I'm big dance serious, you other fun and you're stupid.
We're on the sable, same kind of wavelength here we
get I mean, we're we're finishing each other. Centis third
stupid in the thing. I love you guys. Uh, Joey,
I'm telling you you got to do the hormone monster.

(01:18:53):
You don't even this is This is not for next year.
This should be for Halloween two. You gotta do it
for Halloween too, And then Halloween and then coming again
for the convention. But I'm telling you, hormone monster you got.
It's so funny. Your founding almost exactly like it. It's ridiculous.

Speaker 2 (01:19:10):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (01:19:11):
The whole show. You gather great, you gather a great chemistry.
You're both stupid. I love you both. If I have
to make up jobs to come back on this podcast,
I will. I don't care, uh, because this is this
is the most fun podcast I have done in quite
a while. Seventy fourth stars love it.

Speaker 2 (01:19:29):
I take it.

Speaker 3 (01:19:30):
You know what you know?

Speaker 2 (01:19:32):
You hear it, Ladies and gentlemen, seventy four stars, hold
on before we go moho to our listeners. Follow you.

Speaker 3 (01:19:41):
Oh okay, So if you do me a huge favor,
you can follow me at my Instagram, which is m
O Alexander. Uh that's me, just Emo Alexander. You'll know
me because I'll be the black guy.

Speaker 6 (01:19:53):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (01:19:55):
TikTok is Moe Alexander comedy. I think that's it. With YouTube,
just follow me those places. And that's another place I did.
If you follow me on Instagram or YouTube, it makes
me happy and TikTok it makes me confused, but still
do it anyway. Uh yeah, follow me all their places
or yeah, come see me laugh on my website from

(01:20:16):
Alexander dot Nett my schedule. We'll be back up there
this week and you'll see where I'm playing. You can
come see me laugh and we can complain about things together.

Speaker 7 (01:20:24):
Love it. See see we pulled up for the listeners.
We did pull up a photo of Maury the the
hormone answer.

Speaker 4 (01:20:33):
I can pull this off. I can very much pull
this on.

Speaker 2 (01:20:36):
Honestly.

Speaker 7 (01:20:36):
You need to do is just have the goat bottom.

Speaker 4 (01:20:38):
Yeah, and that's gonna be hilarious.

Speaker 6 (01:20:42):
I'm gonna use that a lot over the years, not
just Halloween and Hormone Monster.

Speaker 3 (01:20:46):
Now now I can go, hold on, hold on, hold on,
We'll second, hold on. Shandon coming for a second, just
come here. Okay, keep talking for a second, keep talking.

Speaker 4 (01:20:58):
Now now I when I have the goat bottom. Now
I'm going to frolic Con. It's let's get kinky in Hotlanta.

Speaker 2 (01:21:07):
Well almost voice.

Speaker 3 (01:21:12):
It was perfect. Sorry, I'm sorry, gain Okay. I just
had to show her the picture of the horrorone Moster
and him talking at the same time, because it just
it hurts me.

Speaker 4 (01:21:22):
It hurts me.

Speaker 3 (01:21:24):
It's such a great show. And your voice almost imagined
it perfectly.

Speaker 2 (01:21:28):
It's a little, it's it's a little. It's a little yours.
The only difference is Joe's is a little like a
decibal higher. Yes, that's about it.

Speaker 4 (01:21:34):
That's gonna bring it.

Speaker 6 (01:21:35):
I got a bat here, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:21:39):
Uh so, uh.

Speaker 7 (01:21:42):
Joe, how do people follow you?

Speaker 2 (01:21:43):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (01:21:43):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:21:44):
Uh Instagram?

Speaker 6 (01:21:45):
The word photographizing, that's the word photograph I z I
n g uh find me ah everywhere?

Speaker 4 (01:21:53):
Come see me live too.

Speaker 6 (01:21:54):
August ninth.

Speaker 4 (01:21:55):
We're doing a show.

Speaker 6 (01:21:56):
Matt's on the bill for my animal Rescue that I
work for, Midwest Animal Rescuing Services.

Speaker 4 (01:22:01):
August ninth, Sisyphis. Get your tickets before they sell out,
because they will sell out.

Speaker 6 (01:22:07):
It's gonna be fucking not sprawl.

Speaker 3 (01:22:09):
Hey, let's let's get together all three of us to
do a show up there.

Speaker 6 (01:22:13):
I am so down, Moll. I always love working with you,
and like the last time I haven't seen you since
the Hopkins Comedy.

Speaker 4 (01:22:20):
Festival be Royal Royal Comedy Theater.

Speaker 2 (01:22:23):
Yeah, that was.

Speaker 3 (01:22:24):
That was a fun little place.

Speaker 4 (01:22:25):
It was ye doesn't exist anymore.

Speaker 3 (01:22:27):
I know, I really hate that, but it was fun.

Speaker 4 (01:22:29):
It's I hate when the fun clubs get shut down.

Speaker 7 (01:22:32):
Yeah, me too, mad how do people follow you?

Speaker 2 (01:22:35):
Well to say, people also hate that, you know in
the other community we were talking about as well as
when those fun clubs shut down?

Speaker 4 (01:22:44):
Now, where am I gonna wear my mesh unitard?

Speaker 3 (01:22:50):
You know that you come in the Swings club to
do comedy in Indianapolis?

Speaker 2 (01:22:54):
Oh for real?

Speaker 3 (01:22:55):
Yeah?

Speaker 7 (01:22:58):
Fish bowl, I want I want to do that terribly.
That that's amazing.

Speaker 3 (01:23:02):
I'll give you again. We'll talk afterwards. Yeah, that's them
Off the podcast. You can follow me.

Speaker 2 (01:23:07):
I'm Matt Douima on Facebook and Instagram, I am at
that Matt Douma on Blue Sky and TikTok for me.
Every Wednesday evening in the basement of the Red Carpet Nightclub,
I do host the Keller Comedy Open Mic, one of
Minnesota's longest running stand up comedy open mics. Doors open
at eight, the show starts around nine ish. We have
thirty two ounces beer pitchers for only six bucks. It's
a hoot and a half. It's a lot of fun.

Speaker 7 (01:23:28):
You should come out to that.

Speaker 2 (01:23:30):
Two more Saturdays this summer and then back to the fall.
We're gonna be doing shows every Saturday night at Beaver
Island Brewing Company, Damn Fine Comedy. Follow us at Beaver
Island Comedy Series. This month, we have D'Angelo Funches with
Mallory former guest Mallory Manderfield on the show. Yeah, I
love both those. They're both great, dude. Oh he's great, dude. Yeah,

(01:23:53):
we love Funches and Mallory is great too. Mallory Manderfield
is very funny.

Speaker 3 (01:23:57):
She's I don't think I've met her yet, but I
don't think I've met.

Speaker 2 (01:23:59):
Her, but she's she's using Minnesota and then she moved
out to Portland and she happens to be coming through
town and I just happened to catch her on the
right night. So she's she's she's fun as well, So
follow that. Follow the podcast at Awful Service Podcast across
all platforms. Email us your favorite kink story to add
Awful Service Podcast at gmail dot com. Kick those nasty thoughts,

(01:24:21):
lose and nail in it if you want to, I
don't care. Follow up our find our website www dot
awful Service podcast dot weebley dot com because we're rolling
in it with all this podcast money.

Speaker 3 (01:24:36):
Uh.

Speaker 7 (01:24:38):
This has been a very fun episode. Thank you so
much for coming on.

Speaker 3 (01:24:41):
Thanks you for having me. This is completely ridiculous, yellow awesome.
I love it.

Speaker 4 (01:24:46):
You're you're a hoot and a half.

Speaker 2 (01:24:48):
Hoot and a half as we love to say, and
as always, uh you know fafoo.

Speaker 4 (01:24:57):
If it doesn't exist, it's started today.

Speaker 3 (01:25:03):
You get fuck you.

Speaker 2 (01:25:06):
Under siege to with some bullshit and have a good night.

Speaker 6 (01:25:11):
It's time to.

Speaker 11 (01:25:12):
Count the till, sweep the floors and mapa spills, say
good night, dispose up the trash, and turn out the light.
Tell me why I try and it's so damping as Eliza.

Speaker 8 (01:25:30):
I'll take my tips.

Speaker 2 (01:25:33):
My services have earned me this.

Speaker 11 (01:25:36):
Maybe I will find a way up. For now, I
count my tip.

Speaker 3 (01:25:47):
And lock the door.

Speaker 1 (01:26:03):
This has been a tape Deck Media production. Thank you
for listening.

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